Chapter Text
It was the little things that tipped Dean off in the beginning that something wasn’t quite right with Cas. Things like the way he spoke, there was something off about his gaze... and it was unsettling to say the least. Sam’s insistence that Cas was always a little “weird” did nothing to ease Dean’s nerves. Sure Cas was always odd, but in a Cas kind of way. He still always felt like Cas. But this just didn’t.
However, Dean was worried about other things on top of Cas. After all there was a lot to worry about now with the darkness and his new found revelation that he was vulnerable, though he wasn’t quite sure in what way which of course set him on edge. So Dean’s thoughts were occupied and Cas’s situation was pushed to the back of Dean’s mind where it never quite went away but Dean never had time to dwell on it.
Now, though, it all came crashing down around Dean. He realized he should have paid more attention to Cas, should have listened to his heart and the nagging at his mind that was telling him that something was wrong. He should have focused on Cas for just a little bit, Cas who was supposed to be his best friend.
He watched the white sleeves being rolled up on Cas’s arms, and his mouth went dry. Little by little details would start hitting him in these next few moments. It was Cas’s mouth, but it wasn’t his smile, pulled up at one corner, teeth showing as if trying to threaten Dean. Cas’s eyes were still the most enticing blue he’d ever seen but behind the color there was hardness, a cruel gaze, seemingly entertained by Dean’s expression that kept fluctuating between shock and fear.
“It seems like just yesterday we were all having that rendezvous at my place, am I right Dean?” Lucifer smiled from Cas’s familiar face, leaning back easily on Cas’s heels. “Now that sure was fun. It’s not everyday I get so many visitors.”
“Go to hell,” Dean snapped through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching, eyes almost unblinking as if even those half seconds would result in Lucifer getting the upper hand.
“Been there, done that. I thought I’d try something new. So here I am. And I gotta say, I am mmm, mmm, loving it.”
Dean inhaled sharply through his nose, eyes narrowing. “How...” he trailed off, eyes searching the face for any recognition of Cas beyond the features.
“How... how what? How did I hitch a ride up in this...? Or maybe, how did you not notice that your best friend just... wasn’t himself anymore?” Lucifer circled him, eyes twinkling with amusement now before he leaned in closer, too close for Dean’s liking and whispered, “Well, only you can answer that last one. You’ve got me. If /I/ had a best friend, I’d like to think I’d notice that he was just acting as a shabby town car for Satan himself. That’s all on you big boy.” He circled back around to the front and shrugged, sucking air through his teeth. “And as to how I got Cas here to say yes? How I convinced him that this was the best option? Well, to put it simply, I didn’t. But.... oh and you’re gonna love this one, you did. It was all you and that brother of yours.
“You see, now that I’m in his body... I’m in his mind too. I know everything about him. Everything he feels, I can feel it too. Everything he knows, everything he’s seen, I can see it all. And there’s so much in here, Dean, you have no idea what your precious angel has been hiding all this time. So much... pain, and hurt. The things you’ve done to him,” he tisked and pouted, shaking his head at Dean.
“What the hell are you going on about? I didn’t do anything to him. He’s my friend!”
“Oh, so that’s what he is to you? Are you sure? Poor fella never would have guessed...”
“You’re just trying to screw with me Lucifer, and like hell is it working. Cas knows damn well how I feel... I’ve told him a hundred times-”
“Oh yes, you’ve said a lot of stuff Dean, a lot of times. But you know what? Actions speak louder than words Dean-o. Like back in the cage with dear old me, for instance. That was probably the last straw.”
“What do you mean?” Dean stiffened.
“Well I’m over here having my fun and... well let’s put this in Cas’s view shall we? You poof into the cage, courtesy of me of course, and what do you do? You run straight to your brother. It’s always your brother. Cas understands though sure. But then, there comes the mean ol’ devil and starts taking a pounding on Cas. He stood no chance against me really. And Cas looks at you to help him. He can’t do much down there after all and he thinks that surely Dean would say something, do something. And you sit there and don’t even look at him.”
Dean licks over his dry lips, glaring into the eyes of the other, seeing nothing but Lucifer staring back at him now. “I have to look after my brother. He’s my /brother/... Cas is an angel, he could take care of himself...”
“Ah! Yes he is... now. But what about when he was human? After the falling of the angels? What about then Dean? From what I can feel, he needed you then more than ever and you kick him out. You tell him he couldn’t stay with you anymore. He sat right at that table, finally feeling safe... feeling at home, and you tell him to leave.”
“Because Sam was in danger and I-”
“What about after Sam was all better? How many times did you run into Cas? And how many times did you invite him to come back? To live with you? You didn’t, Dean. And it hurt Cas... you should feel the things I can feel right now Dean... Cas doesn’t want me to tell you these things. He doesn’t want to make you feel... guilty. But I think you have a right to know.”
Lucifer stood up straight again, walking closer to Dean. “You send him on missions. You don’t check up on him. You don’t look at him twice when he’s in danger. You only do what you have to. He’s just an asset to you. He feels... he feels expendable. When he finally goes, gets taken down by whoever it is, me, Amara, even you... then you’ll find someone else. You’ll bury him and never look back.”
“That’s not true!” Dean yelled then, his stomach twisting. How could he ever make Cas feel like that? He’s told him how much he meant to them. He’d told him how many times how much... Dean swallowed thickly as he thought back to everything. He told Cas how much he was needed. And Dean understood how it could be taken. But he never meant to make Cas feel like he wasn’t important, like they didn’t care. When he got sick he tried to make him feel better, he kept an eye on him, but he always treated him like they could keep moving on. “That’s not how I feel Cas.” He said it carefully, slowly, trying to reach something, anything in there that was really his best friend.
Lucifer however didn’t seem to pay any attention to Dean’s outburst. “You want to know how he feels about you, Dean?” Lucifer’s expression seemed to shift a bit and he frowned, straightening his shoulders a bit. “He really doesn’t want me to tell you. He’s putting up a fight right now.”
“Stop it!” Dean yelled, face turning slightly red. He realized exactly what Lucifer was doing. He was hurting Cas just as much as he was hurting Dean. He was torturing them both.
“Oh come on. You can’t honestly tell me you aren’t even a little curious as to how your angel feels about you.”
Dean thought about it, a little too long in fact as Lucifer took it agreement. Dean barely even realized how close Lucifer had gotten. “You, Dean Winchester, are Cas’s undoing. You’re the reason he rebelled, the reason he fights. It’s not for ‘humanity’, it’s for you. It’s for Dean Winchester. After all that you’ve put him through, however many times you’ve left him forgotten and feeling unwanted, this little angel in here, he’s in love with you,” Lucifer hissed in his ear and Dean stood there, shocked at the words, wondering if they were true. It flashed through his mind that none of what he was saying Cas felt was true. It was all to manipulate Dean. And Dean tried to shake it off, ignore it. “At a loss for words? Can’t even talk to him about it? I know I’m here and all but I won’t eavesdrop, I promise,” Lucifer stepped back. “Cas is all yours. He can hear everything, see everything. Go ahead, tell him how you feel Dean.”
Dean stood stock still, glaring at Lucifer. After a few more moments of silence Lucifer sighed and shrugged again. “Too bad. Oh goodness if only you could feel this right now. Such a shame that’s how he’s going to spend the rest of his days, heartbroken and alone in here.”
“What do you mean?” Dean asked, his chest tightening at the phrasing Lucifer used in ‘last days’. “What are you going to do to him?”
“Me? Oh, nothing on purpose I can assure you. But you do remember now, I only have one true vessel. And I’m afraid me defeating Amara for you, well he’s just going to... burn up...”
Dean’s mouth opened and closed. There was no way he could let that happen to Cas. “We’ll stop you. We’ll send you back to the cage and I’m going to save Cas. He never should have agreed in the first place...” he breathed out huffily.
“Oh come on now, I have to at least honor Cas’s last wishes. All he wanted was to stop Amara... and save you of course. Don’t even try to stop me, Dean Winchester,” Lucifer grinned at him one more time before disappearing and Dean looked around him, his heart sinking. What in God’s name had he done?