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"Cora," Roy said with a sigh, "what is that?"
"What is what?"
"No, don't do this to me I am tired enough as it is. What is that?"
"That?"
"Yes that."
"That's Mocha."
"Why is Mocha here?"
"Because I brought her here."
Okay, Roy wasn't getting anywhere with this child. And he was far too tired to try and twenty-questions his way into a real answer so he admitted defeat and decided to call for back up, "Edward!"
"Oh god it's the fuckin' full name," he heard from upstairs. Despite the complaining Ed didn't pay much consideration to Roy's call as he merely poked his head over the railing rather than come down, "what?"
"What's this?"
"What's what?"
"This."
"I don't see what this is, bastard."
Roy groaned then scooped the cat up and held it where Ed could see.
"That's Mocha."
"Don't you do that to me too."
"I answered the damn question."
"No wonder our children are like this," he said under his breath. The damn cat began clawing at his hand and Roy dropped it with a yelp. Like all of its damned species it landed on all fours and hissed up at him, "why is it in the house?"
"Because Cora brought it in."
"Why?"
"Because she wanted to are we going to keep askin' stupid questions?"
"No I just-" he pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in, "nevermind. Please go do something else."
"Gladly."
The mangy furball, also known as Mocha, lept up into Cora's outstretched arms and began grooming itself, another reason Roy didn't want the animal in the house, "why did you bring it in?"
"Because I wanted to."
"Why did you want to?"
She shrugged, "I like it."
"Well take it outside it doesn't need to be in the house."
"You're not allergic."
"What?"
"You said we couldn't have a cat because you were allergic," she said simply. That sounded like a lie he would tell his children, but he didn't expect to be called out on it when they were both just eight, "but it's been in the house for two days and you haven't-"
"It's been in the house for two days!"
"Yeah."
Roy didn't know what to say to that. He felt a little like he was in an upside down world where he didn't pay for the house and his kids could do whatever the fuck they wanted, "when were you going to tell me?"
She shrugged, "dunno."
"Get rid of it."
"Okay," she said with a sharp nod. Then turned and walked right up the stairs.
"Not up there!"
Mocha joined them for dinner where it had a full plate of sardines from the fridge and also a bite of Christines ribs before Christine stopped it. When it finished it found a spot on the nearby couch that it circled three times before clawing at with it's long, furniture destroy claws. Then it bent all legs and laid down quickly falling asleep in its mutilated cushion.
"You know it's a girl right," Edward said.
"I don't care what it is it needs to go."
"We can't let her out the house," Christine said, "what if she comes back pregnant?"
"Then it doesn't matter because it's not our cat."
"She sleeps at the foot of Cora's bed every night!"
"It's been two nights!"
"She's family now though!"
Roy looked across the table at Ed, who raised an eyebrow at him a silent statement that it was Roy who was not making any sense. Like the cat had been there longer and Roy was the stray. Roy turned back to stabbing at his potatoes absolutely unwilling to disguise how much he desliked this change in occupancy. Was it really too much to ask that he be allowed to return to a home where he wasn't being stalked by some feral beast that licked itself and knocked vases off of side tables. Did he not deserve a space free of judgement from the most annoying animal god created?
"You are far too dramatic about this," Ed said from the bed.
"I don't want to hear from you, you kept it from me."
"No, I told Cora it was between her and you."
"Really? Because you sure seem to be picking sides," he spat out the toothpaste and watched it swirl down the drain. Roy refused to look at himself in the mirror since he already knew what he would see. An over-worked, short staffed general who felt more like a grunt each and every day.
"I didn't pick shit. She found it and said she could take care of it, and I said she needed to talk to you. I'm not their only damn parent you know."
"I have been more than equitable in raising them," he stepped back into their room to see Ed was already resting on his back with his eyes closed, "is this revenge because I've been working late?"
"It's not all about you bastard. I don't give a shit if there's a cat in the house or not and you obviously do so if you fuckin' hate it so much kick the damn thing out yourself. I'm not gonna be the bad guy to protect your ego."
"Are you scared of an eight year old?"
"Are you?" He snapped, "shut up and go to bed before I make you sleep on the floor like the dog you are."
Being told to shut up was a great excuse to not have to voice that yes, he was scared of an eight year old. But it was eight year old Elric who looked mostly like him except for the golden eyes so he felt a little justified in both being both angry at the flagrant disregard for his authority and scared of what would happen to him if he attempted to exert that authority.
The weekend came two days later and the damn cat was still there causing mischief wherever it went. It nearly scared the shit out of him when he went to open a tin of corned beef and the damn thing jumped on the counter from whatever hole from hell it came through.
"This is not for you," he said resolutely, "go away."
The thing did not go away. It looked up at the can and when he held it above his head it responded by lifting up its too front legs to rest on his chest. He tried to send the message that it needed to get out by pushing it away but it was far more resolute in staying then he was in getting it away himself.
"Cora!"
"Hmm?" Her voice came from the living room.
"Come get your animal!"
She was over a moment later, "aww she likes you."
"I don't care get rid of it."
The damn cat was eventually extracted from the kitchen and Roy could continue on with his meal unharassed. He tried to ignore it for the rest of the weekend only to walk out of his bedroom the next morning and step on something uncomfortably squishy. Fearing the worst he slowly lifted up his foot to see a dead mouse. Mocha came padding down the hallway a moment later with a low whine.
Realistically Roy should feel pissed at such an offering but he'd been concerned about an infestation for a while and if this was the mouse in question at least it was dead, "you've earned another day."
Mocha's answering meow sounded ungrateful.