Chapter Text
"Y'know, for some 'omniscient god', you're pretty stupid."
Bill Cipher was sat in the bleak white room (which he had complained could use a screaming head or two), overwhelmingly small compared to the large deity before him.
The Axolotl made a noise akin to a sigh. "Cipher, I know you believe the Theraprism to not be working. But you and I know it's a matter of time."
"Oh, yeah, and the time I've spent has given me a new outlook on life," he scoffed, "Wake up call!! I'm a lost cause. If you're gonna keep me trapped, I'm.. Politely, asking you to get those braindead therapists to stop prying into me!"
A pause.
"I mean, torture is funny, and all, but you need to get something original here."
"Well what do you propose? You are not enjoying your time, but you aren't willing to change. This will go on indefinitely, and you can't keep shunning help forever."
"I personally propose you let me go, but clearly that isn't happening. All I'm saying is that you just need to get those wackjobs out of my face! Let a guy rot in peace, yknow?"
The Axolotl shook their head. Bill's brow furrowed. "The point of this is to teach you something you haven't grasped yet, Bill, and if you choose to do it the difficult way, we have all the time in the multiverse."
Again; Bill wasn't opposed for torture, but this wasn't funny at all, as far as torture goes (and it gets pretty funny). He made a show of rolling his eye, but dread sank into him. If there was one thing Bill has hated doing, it was waiting. Somewhere, deep down, he knew the salamander was right- despite being an (ex) all-powerful god, he'd break; just like the scar on his face, after that human-
Bill's voice rung out with less forethought than he would have liked. "Who do you think would be able to 'teach me,' then?"
"Teach you of compassion? There are plenty of species who would know plenty about their feelings-" Bill groaned at the Axolotl's preaching midsentence- "Yet you need to know something any other species couldn't give you."
Bill raised his eyebrow. "What's that, then, Frills? Jeez, you keep talking to me like i'm a moron- Helloooo? You're talking to Bill Cipher, all-seeing-eye, here! I've seen all there is to see, I know all there is to know. Can you stop dancing around the supposed issue and tell me why you think you know something I don't?"
"You of all beings would know the difference between knowing and understanding, Cipher."
Bill felt rage he didn't want start to boil within him. Bill Cipher? Not understanding? Who does the Ax take him for?
"Alright, wise guy!" His yellow form flashed to a red hue. He was getting far more bothered than he should be. "..Ahem. So if you're gonna say that I don't understand feelings, then what's your plan? How are you gonna get me to 'be a functioning member of the universe', or whatever? Gonna give me a 9-to-5? Tell me the magical thing that's gonna do it."
"I'm giving you time. Things will change."
Bill turned himself away, only slightly. It was as if he was pouting.
"If that's all, you will be returned to your cell. It was nice speaking to you once more."
The Axolotl moved from their dormant position, and Bill jumped.
"Wait- waitwaitwait, Pinky- You're- I asked to be left alone in confinement, you're gonna do that, right?"
"You know I can't."
"Hold on," Bill sputtered, "I- I know what will teach me. Or whatever."
The Axolotl paused, beady eyes on the Euclydian.
Bill always had a trick up his sleeve, a plan to enact, but he really didn't know what would fool the salamander. He didn't know if he could even manage tricking them. Whatever he said, he would be put back in that insufferable cell, or have to deal with something he may not like.
Now if only he could think of something.
"You're coming to the same conclusion as I, aren't you?" The Axolotl murmured.
Bill blinked. "..Yes?"
The ever-present contentment on The Axolotl heightened into an almost pitying smile (how dare they!).
"They're still on your mind somewhere."
Still on his..?
The cell may not be that bad, actually.
________
Ford's nose was met with the familiar smell of coffee and sea salted air. Stanley was up first; or moreof, Stanford slept late. He was usually the one to wake first, or to be already awake after an all-nighter of compiling the research he's acquired. But after a few nights of staying up, Stanley convinced him that sleeping early would be of his best interest, especially considering they were docking to see the young twins once more.
His night hadn't a single nightmare. His back ached from the odd position (or was that age?) as he sat up. A smile came to his face as he heard low humming from his brother through the ship's wall. Ford reached for his glasses.
The bedroom door clicked open, and he leaned down the small hall to the kitchen. "Good morning, Stanley."
The humming stopped, and Stanley turned, with a mug in his hand, and another on the counter. "Mornin' Pointdexter! Feelin' refreshed?"
Ford let a soft smile cross his face at how happy his brother seemed to be to see him in the morning. He would never get used to that- after all this time, Stanley never stopped thinking of him as his brother. After all he did, that same gruff voice would greet him on the ship.
"Yes. Thank you. Would you like me to take the wheel, or..?" He trailed off, sauntering over to the counter, lacing his six fingers around the mug's handle.
"I got it," Stan mumbled, a cracker half in his mouth as he rooted through one of the drawers, "D'ya want a proper breakfast or is it every man for himself?"
"Oh, I'll get something. You were kind enough to make me this," Ford hummed, bringing the cup to his lips. It wasn't perfect, but that's what made it so great- the taste was something only someone who loved you could make. He felt warm, even though he could hear the cold, salty air outside.
Stanley smiled just as warm. "I'll hold ya to it. I'll be back in here in a sec', just need'ta make sure we didn't go off track. Wind only picked up recently, so I don't think we have'ta worry about anything, but I'll check, because I know you're crazy about makin' sure."
Stanford huffed out a laugh. "You know me too well," he chuckled, putting the cup down in favor of opening the drawers with cookware.
________
The handyman wasted no time in practically jumping Stanley once he was inside. Ford snickered, but found he wasn't safe from the man's embrace either.
"Mr Pines! Doctor Pines!! Oh, dudes, I missed you!"
Stanley barked a laugh. "Glad ya haven't changed, Soos. And nor has the shack- you've been doing a good job here, kid," he smiled, clapping Soos on the back.
"The shack has changed, Stanley," Ford interjected, "It's far more clean than it was when you were running it."
Stan made a faux-offended gasp. "Well God forbid the place isn't spotless when you're an old man with two kids running around! It was cleaner before you came. Wasn't it, Soos?"
The larger man laughed. "Yeah, Dr. Pines, other than the occasional spiderweb and odd stain, The Shack was spotless!" He shuddered. "There were so many spiders.."
Stanley rolled his eyes at Soos' bluntness. Ford cracked a smile.
"Anywho," Stanley started back up, popping one of the buttons of his shirt down (reasonably so- it was hotter when you were off the shoreline), "Speakin' of those two kids- When are those little shitnuggets comin' around? Need to get out all my cursing before they're here."
A voice sounded up the stairs.
"Bwah, bwah, bwah, I didn't hear thaaat!! Covering my ears from old man curses!!"
Ford scoffed, smiling, and raised a brow at his brother.
"Shhhh-oot- Sorry, Pumpkin! C'mere ya little rascal-"
And Stanley was off, Mabel meeting him in the middle, jumping into his arms. Stanley almost fell, but he's still strong after all the pterodactyl-punching in the Falls and anchor-hoisting at sea. Soos ran over as well, smiling and giddy. Ford sauntered over as well, in far less of a rush, but greeting the girl with a smile either way.
"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, it's been FOR-EEEVERRR!!! Do you have fish in your pants? You smell like salt! How much sand do you have in your butt-cracks?"
Stan laughed, and Ford's smile widened. She really was like Stanley. "No, dear, no fish or sand, but I believe we have something better," Ford hummed, running his hands through Mabel's hair when she inevitably ran to hug him, too.
"Yeah, and its up our butts with the sand! Go get your brother, hon. We got somethin' for the two of ya!"
Mabel's pupils blew out to a point Ford regularly thinks should be studied, and ran up the stairs. Soos, still buzzing from excitement, scurried off, telling Stanley about telling a girl named Melody they were here. Not long after, Dipper came down the stairs, almost stumbling as Mabel, still full of energy, was ready to tumble. He grabbed onto the railing lightly, eyes turning up to the others downstairs. His expression of confusion changed to a wide grin.
"Grunkle Stan! Great Uncle Ford! Oh, shoot, I didn't hear you come in, I- oH-!" He stumbled on the last step, sending Mabel falling onto Stan, knocking all of them down, except Ford, who was standing farther on the side. He laughed, and knelt to help them up.
Dipper's face went red with embarrassment. He mumbled out "sorry"s. Mabel and Stan laughed as they got up. The young boy took of the headphones around his neck, and fixed his hat. "I uh... I had. Headphones in. Should I uh- put them back-? Or, no, Mabel told me that-"
"Slow down, Dipper. You're growing, and everyone needs alone time; you don't have to greet us the moment we step into the door. Stanley and I had only wanted to give you and your sister something."
Dipper blinked, face relaxing. "Oh, um, yeah. Thanks, Great Uncle Ford. Sorry, Mabes and Stan."
Mabel blew a raspberry.
Stan reached into his pocket with one hand. "Anywho, close your eyes and put out your hands, yeah?"
Dipper covered his eyes with one hand and held out the other. Mabel held out both her hands, but Stan flicked her in the forehead. "No peeking!"
She giggled, and hung her head down, ensuring she wasn't peeking anymore. Stan placed a small box in Mabel's hands, and Ford pulled out a box of a similar size out of one of his (seemingly endless) inner coat pockets, placing it in Dipper's hand.
"Alright, kiddos, open!"
Mabel instantly lit up. "A tiny box!! I love tiny things," she beamed, which got a chuckle from the two men. Dipper inspected the little black case for a moment more. Both twins opened them at seemingly the same moment, and their eyes widened in a similar way. Ford, unable to hold back his smile, looked at Stanley, and his twin nodded at him, acquiescing to let him nerd out.
"These, kids, are a typical sailor's tradition. And you may not be one yourselves, but I do believe you're of good relations to two of them, so that would count for something, no?"
Mabel took out the thick gold hoop earring, and held it up to her face. Dipper continued looking at the contents of his box in awe.
"Usually, it's an earring- but, last I checked at least, Dipper hasn't a piercing- so I opted for a ring- same shape, just for a different place. Now, do you two know why this is a sailor's thing?"
Dipper clutched his box and started flapping his other hand in excitement. "Oh! Oh! I know this one! Can I?" Mabel cocked her head, and Ford nodded.
"It's- it's a thing, that old sailors would wear a gold earring, so that if their bodies washed up ashore if they fell overboard and died, whoever found their body would give them a proper Christian burial!"
Mabel "ooh"ed. "Neat-o! Can't wait to tell everyone that my Grunkles told me I'm gonna die at sea!"
Stanley laughed, and Ford blinked and grimaced a little. That was not his intention.
"No," Stanley started, "Pumpkin, that's the origin, but the best part is that you can make up whatever you want about it! You could say you pilfered it off'a rich lady who said you were bad at mini-golf!"
The kids and Stan laughed, but Ford didn't get it. Oh well.
"Anywho, Dipper got it spot on," Ford continued, Dipper's face lighting up upon him saying that. "But as did Stanley. That is the origin, but we had thought it would be the sentiment that counts."
Dipper smirked, and quirked an eyebrow, trying on his new fancy ring on his finger- it was a little too big for his ring finger, so he tried it on his others. It worked on his thumb, and he seemed to think it was more comfortable. He turned his gaze to Stanley. "Who did you steal this from?"
"Steal? Me? Never! Who do you take me for, kiddo?"
The family laughed, and that was how the rest of the day seemed to go. Floating on lighthearted jabs, unpacking, and before they knew it, the sun was setting. Ford stopped at the shop's vending machine, considering passing behind the wall to go back to his lab- but he opted not to, knowing that he would get distracted and stay up late. He really ought to take a leaf out of the kid's books- God, he couldn't remember when he had a bedtime like they did.
He smiled after a warm family dinner between them. After everything, Gravity Falls still held a place in all of their hearts, no matter where in the world they ended up going.
And as night fell, the Pines family slept dreamlessly- all of them. A good thing, too. They needed the sleep for the days to come.