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The room was quiet, awfully quiet. The only sound Lando could hear was the thump of his fast beating heart and his own racing thoughts. He was sitting on the small couch, his hands clenched into fists. He stared blankly at the wall, hearing the roaring of the tifosi celebrating Charles outside just like he deserved to be. But he couldn’t help feeling like today should have felt like a victory. Finishing third at Monza wasn’t that bad, but still, it felt like defeat and betrayal.
There was a soft knock on his door, but Lando didn’t respond. He didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone for that matter, least of all Oscar. But the door still creaked open, and Oscar stepped inside carefully.
“Lando ?” Oscar began cautiously, closing the door behind him. “I’ve been looking for you, you disappeared again after the interviews and the photo. I thought we said that we would-”
“That we would do what ?” Lando interrupted, his voice sharp and cutting, a blade ready to wound everything around him, including himself. His gaze remained fixed on the wall, refusing to look at Oscar.
The younger one looked confused for a second “Are you alright ?” he asked, as he took a step forward, sensing the tension radiating from the British man.
“What do you think?” Lando said, finally lifting his head towards his teammate, friend, partner, he didn’t really know anymore. His eyes were filled with anger and hurt. “Do I look alright to you, Oscar ? After that shit show out there ?”
Confusion flashed across Oscar’s face, quickly replaced by defensiveness. “What do you mean “shit-show”? I was just racing, Lando. We were cleared to race each other. I saw an opportunity and I took it. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?”
“Is that what we’re supposed to do?” Lando echoed, incredulity dripping from his words as he stood up, taking a step closer to Oscar. “From where I was sitting, it looked a hell of a lot like you trying to take me out. Do you have any idea what you almost did? I’m fighting for a championship here, not just dicking around for fun.”
Oscar’s own anger began to rise, his brows furrowing. “You think I don’t know what’s at stake? I’m not here just to play your wingman Lando. I have to think about my own career too. I’m not your fucking sidekick!”
Lando’s voice trembled, his emotions threatening to spill over. “If I hadn’t backed off, we’d both be in the wall. You might have saved your own race, but you damn near ended mine. Do you even care about that?”
“Of course I care!” Oscar shot back, his voice rising. “But I can’t always be thinking about you. I have my own race to run, my own career to build. What the hell do you expect from me?”
The words struck Lando hard. “And what about when they told me to let you pass in Hungary ? Huh ? You think that was easy ? They said that I needed you, and the team for the future. And where were you when I needed you then ?” Lando continued, angry tears filling his eyes. “They fucking pressured me, and I gave in. I gave up significant points that day, for you. I should have stood my ground, no matter the consequences. But I did it, Oscar, for the team. For you."
Oscar’s expression shifted from anger to confusion. “You’re bringing up Hungary now? We talked about this in the past. We’re talking about today. I’m not going to just roll over every time you need me to.”
Lando let out a bitter, humorless laugh. “Oh, I get it now. You’re just here to look out for yourself, right? Screw everyone else, screw the team, screw me. It’s all about Oscar fucking Piastri.”
“Now you’re being mean.” Oscar’s face hardened, his voice cold. “That’s unfair and you know that. You’re not the only one with dreams, you’re not the only one who worked hard to be here. They told us we could race each other, that I could win. If they said otherwise I would’ve helped.”
“You have no idea what it’s like,” Lando shot back, his voice breaking. “To be this close to something you’ve wanted and built for 6 years with this team and feel it slipping away because the people you’re supposed to trust are the ones cutting you down.”
“You think I’m just out there for myself? You’re not the only one who’s been doubted, who’s had to prove they belong here. The team said nothing about backing you up right now, I’m also a driver. I’m not going to roll over every time you cry about your precious championship. Grow the fuck up, Lando.You’re so damn selfish. You act like you’re the only one who matters, like everything should just go your way. Newsflash: you’re not the center of the fucking universe!”
Lando’s eyes blazed, tears finally spilling over as Oscar’s words hit him like a physical blow. “Selfish?” he whispered, his voice barely audible. The word cut deeper than any insult he’d ever heard. That’s what they all said about him, the fans, the media. And now, hearing it from Oscar, the one person he thought understood him, loved him even ? It was almost too much to bear. “You think I’m selfish?”
Oscar hesitated for a moment, realizing the impact of his words, but his anger kept him going. “Yes, Lando. Selfish. You think you’re the only one who’s under pressure? The only one who’s worked hard to get here? I’m here too, and I’m not going to let you treat me like some stepping stone !”
Trying hard to stop his sobs from spilling, Lando felt all his anger mixing into something more raw and painful. “I never asked you to be that, I never wanted you to feel like you were the side driver. I wanted us to be a team, to help each other. I thought you understood what it meant to me, just like I’m always trying to show everyone that everything you do is amazing. I thought you were the one person who had my back. But it turns out you’re just like everyone else. You think I’m selfish. You think I’m just in it for myself.”
Oscar’s own anger faltered for a moment, replaced by a flicker of regret watching the tears on his teammate’s cheeks. “Lando, that’s not what I-”
“Save it,” Lando snapped, cutting him off, his voice thick with tears. “You don’t get to take it back now. You’ve made it pretty fucking clear what you think of me.”
Oscar’s face crumbled, frustration and guilt still strongly on his mindset. “I didn’t mean it like that, Lando. I just... I don’t want to lose myself in all this. I can’t just fade into the background while you take all the glory.”
Lando shook his head, tears streaming down his face. “And you think I want to take everything for myself ? Do you even hear how much I praise you out there ? How I admire you ? You think I haven’t sacrificed ? I’ve been carrying the weight of this team on my shoulders for 6 years, doing everything I can to prove I deserve to be here, that I’m good enough, that the team is good enough. But it’s never enough, is it? No matter what I do, people still think I don’t belong, that I’m selfish, that I’m not good enough. And now you’re saying the same thing. You’re supposed to be on my side, Oscar!”
Lando’s voice broke, a sob escaping his lips. “But it’s fine, right? It’s still me that’ll get hate for that. Don’t worry, Oscar. No matter what happens out there, I’m always the one who gets blamed. I’m the one who has to deal with everyone questioning if I deserve to be here, questioning if I’m good enough, and insulting me. But it’s fine because you’re the golden boy now, huh ? It’ll still protect you from that.”
Oscar flinched, the guilt hitting him hard. “Lando, that’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not.” He was fully sobbing right now.
The Australian’s face twisted with anguish, the weight of Lando’s words sinking deep. He opened his mouth to respond, but the hurt in Lando’s voice and the tears made his own anger waver, his own eyes starting to water at all the words he said but didn’t mean. Still, he tried to maintain his composure, but it came out again as something he regretted right away. “I didn’t come here to be your punching ball. If you want to blame me, fine. But don’t come crying to me later.”
With that, Oscar’s frustration boiled over, he couldn’t stand watching Lando crying and not being able to do anything about it. He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Lando was left alone, his sobs echoing through the empty space. His arms holding himself, wondering how the situation could have gotten out of hand like that.
Moments later, they both retreated to their separate hotel rooms, the silence between them heavy, Lando, having managed to compose himself, returned to his room without drawing attention to the blotchy redness of his eyes. He cried some more getting through his night routine alone for the first time after a race.
Once in bed, his breathing was ragged from the intensity of his sobbing. Sleep was elusive, and every attempt to close his eyes was met with the replay of the day's events, the sting of Oscar’s words. He wasn’t even mad about the race anymore, he was just so heartbroken from their fight. He felt utterly lost, unsure how to fix the rift between them or how to forget the hurtful things they had said. He tried to close his eyes, but the weight of everything kept him restless.
Unable to stay away from the warmth he got used to, Lando got up, took a sweater that seemed to belong to Oscar, his phone and hotel card before heading to Oscar’s room. He hovered by the door for what felt like an eternity, his heart pounding with a mix of fear and hope.
After a deep breath, he finally knocked, the sound echoing in the empty corridor. He waited, anxiety knotting his stomach, until the door creaked open to reveal an utterly exhausted Australian. Oscar's eyes were red and tired, his emotions clear on his face.
The two men stood in silence for a moment. Lando’s voice trembled as he tried to find the right words. “I… I know you said… You said that I couldn’t come… come crying to you… but… but…”
Oscar’s gaze softened as he took in Lando’s tear-stained face and the sweater that hung loosely on his frame. Without saying a word, he stepped aside, allowing Lando to enter. He hesitated in the hallway, his nerves tensed, but the sight of Oscar’s soft expression encouraged him to step inside. He walked to the living room of the suite, standing there, rubbing his eyes.
“I just… I can’t sleep.” He tried to keep his voice steady. “I keep thinking about earlier, I didn’t mean to cause so much hurt. Please, I can't sleep when you’re not there anymore.”
Oscar sighted deeply, closing the door. He ran a hand through his hair. “Lando, I didn’t mean what I said. I was hurt and angry and it got out of hand. I’m sorry”
Lando took a tentative step forward, his eyes searching Oscar’s face for sincerity. “I’m sorry for pushing you. I was just so overwhelmed and frustrated, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”
There was a long pause as they both struggled to find the right words. The silence was punctuated only by their uneven breaths.
Finally, Lando took a deep breath. “I don’t want us to be like this. I want to fix things, to be okay. I just need to know that we’re still on the same side.”
Oscar’s eyes met Lando’s with a mixture of weariness and affection. He stepped closer, closing the distance between them. “We are on the same side, Lando. I promise. We’ve been through too much together to let this come between us.”
Lando looked up at Oscar, the vulnerability in his eyes evident. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you’re just in my way. I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m always the one left holding the bag, the one everyone blames when things go wrong. I thought you were different. I thought you were on my side.”
“I am on your side,” Oscar intervened, his voice desperate. “We both said things we didn’t mean-”
The Brit cut him off, his voice trembling. “But you said them, Oscar… You called me selfish, like everyone else does. Do you know how much that hurts ? I thought you were the one person who got it, who got me. And then you threw those words at me, like I’m just some asshole out there for myself.”
Oscar flinched and he cradled Lando’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Lan. I didn’t mean it. I was angry, and I let it get the better of me.”
Lando’s eyes were filled with tears again, but he didn’t let them fall. “It’s not just about what you said, Oscar. It’s about what it means. It means you see me the way everyone else does. You think I’m just another driver out there, looking out for myself. And that kills me, because I thought… I thought we were more than that.”
The Aussie stroked his thumbs on Lando’s cheeks. “We are more than that. I don’t see you like everyone else does. I was scared too, you know? Scared of what all this means, scared of losing what we have. That’s why I lashed out.”
Lando’s breath hitched at the touch, the warmth of his teammate’s hands against his skin grounding him. He wanted to believe him, wanted to feel that reassurance in Oscar’s words, but the hurt still lingered, raw and fresh. “I hurt you too, Oscar, and you’re the one saying sorry so much. I’m not innocent in all of this.”
Oscar shook his head, his expression softening, though the hurt still lingered in his eyes. “You weren’t the one who said something to purposefully hurt me, Lando. I knew exactly what I was doing when I called you selfish, and I hate myself for it. I didn’t mean it, not for a second. I just wanted to lash out, and you didn’t deserve that. You’re not selfish, god you’re the most selfless person I know.”
Lando’s hands tightened around Oscar’s shirt as the Australian pursued. “We shouldn’t have let it get this far. It’s not our fault. It’s the team. They put us in this position, made us think we had to fight each other when we should be working together. They made it our problem, and it’s tearing us apart.”
The oldest nodded. “You’re right. They messed up, not us. We’re just trying to do our best with what we’ve been given. And they should give instructions like a championship winning team. We shouldn’t let their mistakes ruin what we have.” Lando’s eyes met Oscar’s. “Promise me, Oscar. Promise me that no matter what happens on track, no matter what the team says or does, we’ll be okay off of it. We can’t let them come between us.”
“I promise,” he replied with a soft smile. His eyes wandered on Lando’s face. “I’m here baby, I’ll always be, I promise.”
Lando’s heart skipped at the term of endearment. His eyes softened, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips. “You called me ‘baby.’”
Oscar’s smile grew more genuine. “I did. Because you are to me. More than just a teammate, more than just a rival. You’re everything to me.”
With those words, he leaned in slowly, giving Lando the chance to pull away if he wanted to. But Lando didn’t move, his eyes fluttering shut in anticipation. When their lips finally met, it was a tentative kiss, soft and delicate, a stark contrast to the harsh words and tension from earlier. They melted into the touch, both of them craving this moment of connection. Oscar’s hands continued to stroke Lando’s cheeks gently, while Lando’s grip on the hem of Oscar’s shirt tightened, pulling him closer. As their lips moved together, the kiss deepened, the uncertainty fading away. Passion took over, and the thin line they had been balancing on for so long was finally crossed. All the apprehension and fear melted away, replaced by a shared sense of relief and a hunger for more.
When they finally pulled apart, both were breathing heavily, their foreheads resting together. Lando’s eyes remained closed, the dried trails of tears still visible on his cheeks. Oscar’s gaze was soft, filled with regret, affection, and something deeper, something they had both been too afraid to acknowledge until now.
“I’m sorry for everything,” Oscar whispered, his voice barely more than a breath.
“So am I,” Lando replied, his voice cracking. “Let’s just be better for each other. Let’s not let the team or anything else come between us.”
Oscar nodded, pulling Lando into a tight embrace. They held each other close, their bodies fitting together perfectly, as if they had always been meant to end up here, in each other’s arms.
After a moment, Lando murmured against Oscar’s neck, his voice a soft plea. “And kiss me again, please.
Oscar smiled and obliged, leaning in to capture Lando’s lips once more. When he pulled back, Lando’s lips followed, a tender, almost needy gesture. The Australian chuckled softly at the touch, his smile widening. He then led them both to the bed, gently guiding Lando down and pulling him into his arms as they settled under the covers. Lando stayed silent, savoring the warmth and closeness.
“Whatever I might say or do,” Oscar began, his hand brushing Lando’s curls away from his face. “You can always come to me.”
The British man nodded, his eyes reflecting a deep sense of reassurance. “I know. I just needed to hear it. And I want you to know that you can come to me too.” His hand wandered over Oscar’s chest, drawing soothing circles.
“Does that kiss mean that you like me back ?” he continued, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity and hope.
“Of course it does,” Oscar replied. “I’ve been waiting to do that since Zandvoort or maybe before. Not sure exactly.”
Lando yawned, a contented smile spreading across his face. “Me too.” He snuggled closer, linking their fingers together.
“Go to sleep, baby,” Oscar murmured, his voice gentle. “I’ll still be here in the morning.”
As Lando drifted off to sleep, wrapped in Oscar’s embrace, the weight of the day seemed to lift. The Australian kept looking at him until he finally saw the tension leave his lover’s face, a peaceful smile appearing on his lips. That’s how he fell asleep, looking at that pretty man and holding him close.