Work Text:
Judas NOT ISCARIOT: Wow, bombshell
Philip: I’m just going to say it now: it ain’t going to be me
Simon Peter: Mighty quick on the denial there Philip
Philip: I’m not the one he rebuked with quote ‘get behind me satan’
Simon Peter: Yeah, he rebuked the devil OUT of me, I’m good
Andrew: I bet it’s one of the Zebedee boys
James Barzebdee: Uncalled for!
Andrew: Really? You didn’t see any of the rest of us try and get a seat on either side of his throne.
James Barzebdee: For the record that was our mom’s idea
John Barzebedee: 😲what if it is me?
James Barzebedee: It’s not you John 😒
John Barzebedee: But how do you know ?
James Barzebedee: Are you joking?
John Barzebedee: He said ‘will’ whoever it is might not even know!
Nathanael: What if it’s Judas?
Judas NOT ISCARIOT: Hey don’t look at me!
Nathanael: No I meant-
Simon Peter: Enough! … John!
John Barzebedee: What?
Simon Peter: Ask him!
John Barzebedee: Just ask- Why me?
Simon Peter: You’re sitting next to him
John Barzebedee: Oh and suddenly no one can hear unless they’re sitting right next to them?
Simon Peter: He loves you!
John Barzebedee: Jesus loves everybody 😇
Simon Peter: John ask him!
John Barzebdee aggressively rolls his eye before scooting up to Jesus: “Hey Lord, um was thinking and uh, I know I might be pushing it for spoilers, but I mean we have a long history of just forgetting about prophecies anyway and like I just thought it’d be neat for you to you know just tell us who the snitch is.”
Simon Peter: Wow, real smooth there
Or
Simon Peter: Yeah, ‘neat’, not for any particular reason. No, I’m not planning on beating the guy to pulp why would you think that?
Judas Iscariot who has been tuned out for this whole conversation: What?
