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sohee is 7 years old when he meets a crying, snotty anton on his first day back in elementary school. he was making his way from the restroom when he noticed a boy curled up outside of a classroom, crying into his knees. sohee feels bad for him, he probably misses his parents, he did the same thing too when he was younger.
feeling compelled, sohee approaches to comfort the other, starting with a simple “hi. are you ok?”
the kid jumps at his presence and looks up. his eyes were puffy and his face was wet with tears, even a young sohee could tell he was going through it.
he pauses for a second before replying “not really, i just miss my mom and dad..,”. sohee could barely pick up the younger’s voice, kneeling to hear him better. given that the boy didn’t immediately turn from his presence, sohee took that as a good sign to sit down on the school floor next to him, drawing invisible patterns on the linoleum and humming a song his mom often sang to him at night.
after a quiet minute, sohee starts again, “it’s ok, just wait a little longer. after school, you can tell your mom and dad about your first day. my dad is always super excited to hear what i did in school”. sohee wasn’t lying. at the end of the school day, he would be almost vibrating with excitement, ready to pack up his backpack and rush out the door to brag to his dad about all the fun facts and crafts his teacher led that day. the boy looks at sohee with shiny eyes, listening intently to what the older had to say. sohee ruffles the younger’s hair, he kinda looks like a puppy like this. sohee thinks he’s cute.
the other’s tears all but petered down to small sniffles when sohee was done speaking.
“really?” he asks.
“yeah really. you can trust me, i’m already in first grade!” sohee smiles at the boy and pats his shoulder, standing back up. continuing sohee says “go back to your class now, i think your teacher is probably wondering where you are right now,” and as he starts to walk away, he takes one more look back at the other and sees him waving back at sohee. a small smile remained on the boy’s face as his figure slowly disappeared from sohee’s vision.
the next day, the same boy runs up to sohee before school and grabs him by the shoulder. a little excited, he exclaims “i told my mom what happened at school that day. she thought it was awesome that we were learning about dinosaurs.” sohee grinned and replied,
“see? i told you so!”
—
sohee is delighted, having been looking forward to specifically the start of his 2nd year of university for a reason involving an all too tall puppy personified. on his way to his first class, sohee was seemingly focused on something else when he felt something— or rather someone grab him by the shoulders. he hears a soft “boo!” from his left ear and combined with the unsuspecting touch, sohee nearly jumps out of his skin. when he swivels around to look at the culprit, he sees an anton stood in front of him wearing a sheepish smile, looking around like he wasn’t the one that nearly set sohee into cardiac arrest.
this was the first time that sohee had seen anton since moving back to college. ever since that fateful day in elementary school, anton and sohee had become inseparable. throughout all of their years in primary and secondary, it was almost guaranteed to see either an excitable sohee dragging anton across school halls, excited to ditch class to buy arizona green teas and hot cheetos from the nearby drug store, or anton lingering outside a classroom, waiting to meet up with sohee between classes to chat. there simply was no way one could talk about one without mentioning the other.
as sohee looks back up at the boy he’s been friends with for the past 12 years, he feels a wave of nostalgia wash over him. anton was just like sohee’s puppy when they were kids, aimlessly following him around, hoping something fun would happen. sohee would pinch his cheeks and engulf anton is giant bear hugs, cuteness aggression coming out in full force. at the time he had been tall enough to do so.
but fast forward a decade and anton has grown. a lot.
no longer was he the shy, docile kid with a voice that could only be heard if you stood right next to him. anton’s confidence had grown in tandem with his height (a little too much if you asked sohee) and people finally began to notice, magnetized by his soft charm like a moth to a flame. he’d become a little more vocal, a little more forward, but yet still the same sweet soul that sohee first met all those years ago. anton was truly a force to be reckoned with, taking full advantage of his relationship with sohee to get what he wanted, and who was sohee to ever reject his demands? it worked the other way around, their friendship was truly symbotic. they were two peas in a pod, a package deal, soulmates even. so much so that even if sohee would never admit this out loud, he believed that even if the two didn’t meet outside anton’s classroom in 1st grade, fate would’ve brought them together regardless.
sohee feels his heart beating a little too loud when he refocuses on what was presently in front of him, realizing that he had been standing in front of anton, looking at him. anton notices sohee snap back to reality and smiles. beginning to greet, anton says “hi sohee, how’ve you — ”
his introduction gets cut off when sohee jumps him. as an act of revenge he reaches to wrap his arm around anton’s neck, playfully putting him in a headlock so that he couldn’t wiggle out of his hold. gritting through his teeth, sohee scolds into anton’s ear.
“you little bastard i thought orientation was still happening, why are you here? aren’t you supposed to be getting a tour of campus right now?” sohee releases his hold once he feels anton tap his arm, allowing him to double over, viciously coughing for a solid 10 seconds. with his face still a little red and voice hoarse, anton replies with a “yeah but it’s the last day we’re basically doing nothing. plus if i follow you around it’s basically like getting a tour right double major sohee?” sohee scoffs and starts walking again, remembering he was in fact trying to get to class.
“hey suit yourself, but be prepared to sit in a lot of boring seminar classes and pray that you don’t get cold called,” sohee grumbles to himself, half joking, half amused by the image of anton in his philosophy class.
anton laughs to himself softly, walking up to sohee to throw his arm around his shoulder with eyes looking at him with nothing but sincerity. he starts with “being with you is fun within itself sohee,” sohee looks back at anton with a flushed, puzzled face. the moments anton chose to be genuine and sincere always caught him off guard. “ok sappy , uh thanks i guess”
anton tilts his head, pauses, and says “i’m just being honest.”
—
a few days pass and sohee’s finds himself completely out of his element. just a day ago, sungchan had invited him to a function to ‘celebrate the gang being back together’. having nothing better to do and the offer of free alcohol on the table, sohee had more than enough of a reason for him to currently be sat on some stranger’s sofa, nursing a cup of mixed soju. he’s definitely buzzed and feels a little fuzzy. he blames the yakult flavored drink not tasting like alcohol while sipping on it, dissociating on the aforementioned sofa. his surroundings are blurred and the led lights are so bright that it starts getting to his head. he shuts his eyes, thinks really hard, and decides then and there that he needed to go outside and breathe in some fresh air, lest he vomits all over this expensive couch.
walking up to the balcony, sohee feels better, a bit chilly, but better. looking around, he sees the city skyline hanging below the night sky, stars shining as bright as the nightlights. taking in the breeze he rests his head on the railing and hums quietly to himself, tapping a melody with his left finger. he melts into the balcony and dozes off, he hasn’t felt so relaxed in a while, relishing in the serenity of his surroundings.
minutes pass and sohee had been so caught up in the moment he almost fails to process a warm presence begin to wrap around him. hands reach around his waist to rest in front of his stomach and a chest closes in to meet his back. when a chin rests upon his head he feels the vibrations of a familiar voice start speaking,
“it’s a bit chilly to be out here isn’t it sohee?”
sohee tilts his head up and finds himself looking up at anton, albeit from the strangest angle he’s ever seen him in. unfazed, sohee simply replies “i didn’t know you were here.”
“i came because sungchan asked me to, you know how he is when it comes to invitations like this. he just wants to see us all together again,” sohee hums in agreement, “‘mmm you’re right, but i feel nicer out here. inside was too warm and it was getting to my head.” sohee began swaying the two back and forth, resuming the song he was humming and taking in all of the sensations around him. the breeze nipping at his nose, the bustling city in front of him, but most overwhelmingly, the warm body wrapped around him, swaying alongside.
the energy between the both of them right now is so palpable sohee’s too afraid to even speak. opting to instead turn himself around so that his back leaned against the balcony, and he faced anton completely. sohee noticed that anton dyed his hair a honey brown color. he thinks it suits him well. after a moment, sohee reaches out to touch anton’s hair and compliments the change,
“you should keep this hair color anton, it matches well with your skin tone really well,” pausing a little before continuing “it makes you look older and like… more mature for some reason.”
anton chuckles, “is that supposed to be a compliment? are you calling me old?”
sohee looks down, breaking eye contact. “not at all… it’s just, looking at you now, i don’t see the same anton i was yelling at in high school.”
“isn’t that a good thing though? we’re not the same people that we were 4 years ago,” anton starts softly “you’ve changed a lot too sohee. you’re also more mature now. and more thoughtful, almost like a real adult.” anton smiles cheekily while tacking on the last statement.
sohee shakes his head and tilts his head down to rest his head against anton’s chest. while pressing a finger into anton’s stomach he adds, “you’re an adult too! a whole 18 years young… you gotta start paying taxes and shit. and also like start taking your career seriously too bro i’m not kiddin” fuck. sohee’s starting to feel a little existential. “y’know i was 18 too once. had to come to terms with the fact that i was now fully responsible for my actions…. needed to be more careful nd all that. i’m serious anton getting old fucks you up…” sohee words begin to slur near the end and his body nearly melts into anton, who was holding onto his forearms for dear life.
—
anton finds inebriated sohee extremely endearing, his face is so flushed and the party’s lights bleed outside to illuminate his face in just the right way. not wanting sohee to crumple onto the balcony floor, anton hoists him back upright, and begins to lead him back into the party, all while entertaining sohee’s drunken ramblings,
“ok ok, i got it, old man. let’s get you back inside though to get some water,” anton couldn’t resist pinching his cheeks when continuing “your face is burning up.”
somehow making it all the way to a random open bedroom in the house, anton sits an unsteady sohee on the bed and reaches to open a bottle of water he managed to snatch on the way to the bedroom. opening the cap and handing the bottle the other, anton says “drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”
sohee hums and starts chugging the water. anton stares at him, observing as sohee crushed the poor plastic bottle. he can’t help but think that everything about sohee is so cute, wanting to drink up every moment he has with him and commit it to memory. even sohee adams apple bobbing up and down while drinking has anton feeling warm and dizzy.
sohee finishes the water in a grand gesture, crushing the bottle, sputtering and gasping like a kid. anton thinks the older is cute like this too, motor skills were always the first to go when sohee drinks. anton goes to gently hit his back, waiting for the coughing to slow down.
“you ok there buddy?”
“mmmhn, yeah… i just drank the water too fast,” sohee breathes for a moment, and slumps into anton. all movements around the room come to a screeching halt, and the sounds of sohee’s chest and anton’s rapidly beating heart seem to be audible.
anton feels like exploding. these quiet, intimate moments always make him feel too much. these past few years of yearning and wanting trained him to be patient, but these moments in particular nearly breaks anton’s resolve, threatening to boil over and spill. he’s never imagined a life past, present, or future without sohee. every night he dreams about domestic days and loving nights with the other, but he can never bring himself to release these feelings past the inner monologue in his head. he copes by constantly annoying sohee instead, sending stupid shitposts on tiktok like he would love letters.
however, whether it was because they hadn’t met up since summer, or the game of beer pong he played just an hour ago getting into anton’s head, the weight of his confession feels too heavy to bear anymore. anton taps on sohee’s thigh, and when sohee turns his head around to meet his eyes, anton starts speaking before he can even register it.
“hey sohee i know we’re both drunk but i need—”
“that you love me? tell me later anton, later. when i’m more clear in the head. god , i feel like i’m gonna go crazy i if i don’t something about this energy going on right now,” sohee interjects and anton can’t even begin to feel shocked when sohee suddenly shifts, moving to straddle his hips. hoving over anton, sohee squishes his cheeks together and continues,
“i’m drunk, you’re drunk, and we can’t do this whole confession thing right now. but tomorrow, if you don’t tell me you love me first thing in the morning, i will drop-kick you straight in the balls, anton. i’m so serious right now, i’ve never imagined a life without you. we’ve been dancing around this for too long, and if i have to sit through another sexually charged conversation without doing anything about i will actually kill myself. so please, do this for me.” sohee squishes anton’s cheeks once more, and then seats himself fully into antons lap.
anton has no words, he can barely think, mind completely blank. he pauses for 5, no 10 seconds, letting sohee’s words completely sink into him. he has to or else he think he’ll scream. anton takes two deep breaths, and then with hands on sohee’s waist, goes to touch his forehead to sohee. eyes closed anton asks,
“will you at least let me kiss you today?”
one, two, three seconds pass.
“sure. i mean, yes. you can kiss me”
anton wasted no time and went in to capture sohee’s lips with his. the whole process is clumsy and a little awkward but anton couldn’t care less. the noises sohee made were enough to keep him going. “a-anton, wait i can’t—” sohee begs as he tilts his head to try and find a better angle while anton’s tongue grazes his lip, desperately trying to be let in.
slowly, they found their rhythm with one another, and anton couldn’t have wished for anything more. fitting in each other like two pieces of a puzzle, it was a perfect dance between the two, each taking turns leading the other.
catching his breath, anton pulls away briefly. looking at sohee once more, he can’t believe that this was happening. he had waited so, so long and finally, finally his patience had paid off. looking at sohee and his wet, bitten lips, he can’t help but kiss sohee again. this time, all over his face, lips, nose, cheeks, he made sure to let sohee know how much he loved him.
“anton, your spit is getting all on my face,” sohee giggles when he tries to pull away. anton without skipping a beat says “what’s wrong with that though?”
“i’ll start breaking out man, i put in work to have this complexion!” sohee exclaims in jest, slapping the younger’s chest. anton pauses his attack look at sohee to respond.
“well better get used to it then, because i can’t control myself. you’ve opened the floodgates of my love sohee, you have to reap the consequences you sowed.” he admits this all while stroking sohee’s nape. sohee shakes his head, looking contemplative and very determined when replying “no, let’s actually talk about this tomorrow anton, because as much as i want you right now, i want to be sober when you confess for real… i want to feel the emotions naturally and wholly. so please wait… wait for me.”
anton nods along, really hoping that he won’t forget. he should set a reminder on his phone.
“ok sohee, i already waited 4 years, so what’s one more day?”