Chapter Text
If the world was a computer simulation then Nico was a glitch.
He was a nobody who arrived from nowhere and knew no one. It was a multitude of 'no' that echoed in his head. In his quest for answers, he drifted in the solitude of his mind, searching for an oasis that never amounted to anything more than a mirage.
It was as if he was simultaneously sinking and ascending. The paradox twisted cruelly around him like harsh rope chafing his skin. His heart plummeted as his mind rose to a blissfully empty existence. Heaven was blank and sterile. Hell was so far down that it touched the sky on the other side of the world.
There was little to do in the mornings. The chickens were fed, the plants were watered, the bed was made.
The chickens were named Hetty, Betty and Netty, which wasn't something particularly noteworthy, but it made Nico smile when he said it. It was like a tongue twister. He liked tongue twisters. He wondered if he used to.
Barney was the old man on the rocking chair watching the chickens. He was in his seventies. His eyes were wrinkled with smiles and his wispy hair reached towards the sun.
(Barney liked to joke that he lost his hair from running his hands through it too much as a kid, trying to pick up girls.)
His fingertips were calloused and his hands were shake but he still played the banjo. He said he would be "down six feet with the worms before I give up me banjo, boy! Makes a true southerner does a banjo". Nico wasn't sure that was true but he didn't think he was a southerner so it didn't feel like his place to disagree.
Barney had lived alone for a long time. His wife, Mildred, died three years ago. Cancer took her. Their daughter, CJ, lived a few hours away: she worked as a lawyer and was often busy. He had grandkids too. Barney loved to talk about his grandkids. He had photos up everywhere.
"One day," he'd say to Nico,"we're gonna get you a family to have in photos and I'll put 'em up on the mantlepiece."
And Nico would say, "I have a family, sir. But thank you."
An important thing to know about Barney was that he liked his routine. Part of his routine was his bagels.
"Bagels are the best darn thing," he'd say to anyone listening. "You can put anything on a bagel."
At this, Nico would point out that 'could' doesn't mean 'should' and Barney would shrug as he smeared anchovies on his breakfast bagel.
Nico soon found himself a regular customer at the bakery down the road. Elise ran it. She was six foot and the sweetest person Nico had ever known in the year that he'd been here.
She was in her thirties, or there abouts, and she'd decided at some point in her life to take no one's bullshit.
"I'm a black trans woman," she once said to Nico. "I don't need to wait for people to find something to dislike about me. They make their assumptions when they first see me. I've got no need to give them the benefit of the doubt either."
Headstrong was a good word to describe Elise. Admirable.
"Bagels are on the counter," she said as soon as the bell rung. She was chewing the end of a pencil and glaring at her crossword puzzle.
Nico smiled and payed for them.
"What's the question?"
"Six letter word: to have become lost."
"Astray?"
Elise's lips ticked upwards. "It fits. Thanks. Barney doing alright? Taking his meds?"
"Reluctantly." Nico sighed. He almost ran a hand through his hair but Barney's warnings of baldness rang in his brain so he settled on tugging at his jacket instead.
"You're a brave man," Elise said. "Couldn't pay me anything to make me look after that old bastard."
Nico thought of the time he caught Barney dancing with the mop to a Frank Sinatra song.
"He's not so bad," he said. "Besides, CJ pays well and I get a roof over my head."
"Why don't you get your own roof?"
"Don't know where I would buy one."
Elise leaned over the counter, resting her elbows on the cold surface.
"Surely you've got family you'd like to be close to."
Nico picked up his bagels. "Got no one and nothing."
Elise scoffed, standing up straight and wagging a finger at him.
"You mark my words, Nico. Someone out there is missing you with their whole heart."
Nico shook his head. "It's a nice thought."
-
Barney was a good host. He was grumpy and short tempered but he valued bluntness and quick wit. He laughed at himself. That was a good trait to have.
"Got me bagels, boy?" he hollered from the garden before Nico had managed to shut the front door.
"Yes!" Nico called back. "How could I forget?"
He left them on the kitchen counter and went out to join Barney. An outdoor sofa sat next to the rocking chair. It was uncomfortable but the garden view was tranquil.
"If you ever forget, I'll fire you," Barney said, jabbing his finger at Nico's chest. Nico batted it away.
"You don't have the authority to fire me."
"How dare you!" Barney threw up his hands. "I own this goddamn house."
"Sure, Barney," Nico said.
"You're lucky I don't throw you out," Barney continued. "It's only 'cause I know you ain't got nowhere else to go."
"Of course I do," Nico told him."I have family, Barney."
"You don't have no family! You told me so yourself!"
Nico chuckled. "You been drinking? I tell you about them all the time."
Barney grumbled, crossing his arms. "Go on. Tell me about them then."
Nico closed his eyes and landed with a thud in his empty mind. He stood and before him was an oasis. He tumbled towards it, cupping his hands and gulping down the azure water. The clear liquid mixed with the dirt under his fingernails and between the crevices of the lines in his palms.
"My mother," he said, "is a wonderful lady. She likes to sing and dance. She was pregnant with me young and she spent her life looking after me and my sister. She goes to university now.
"My dad is devoted to her. He looks big and burly but he's a gentle soul. He loves my mother the way a sailor loves the sea. He can't live without her.
"My sister is bold. She's courageous. She scrambles up trees and scrapes her kneecaps and her palms. She's older than me and wiser than me but I won't ever tell her that."
"How come I never met 'em?"
The water in Nico's hands seeped through the cracks. He tried to keep it from falling, lurching forward to gather more, but the oasis was shimmering and blurry. When he scooped up water, all he got was air. The oasis had disappeared.
Nico opened his eyes.
"You have," he said. "You just don't remember."
"Don't bullshit me, boy."
Nico smiled. "Wish I was, sir."
Barney rolled his eyes."You're a liar, boy. You're dragging me down to the same level you're on. You ain't remembering so I ain't remembering. You ain't any closer to knowing your family than I am."
Nico watched as Hetty fussed over her food, pecking furiously. She'd only been fed an hour before.
"Whatever you say, sir."
-
Nico's next stop of the day was the library. It was small and crowded. It smelled damp and the wood of the doors was rotting.
However, the reading nook was filled with cushions and beanbags and the shelves were bursting with colour.
Nico sat on the pale blue bean bag. Blue was his favourite colour. Sky blue, specifically.
Nico came to the library in the afternoons when Barney had an hour's nap. He was currently reading 'Before I go to Sleep' by S.J. Watson. It was a book about amnesia and he'd hoped he'd find it informative. So far it was intriguing and disturbing, not informational.
He had forty five minutes to read and then his time was up. He packed up and went to put the book back on the shelf. He had no library card to check books out and couldn't get one without I.D.
He glanced over at the librarian, who usually spent copious amounts of time beadily watching Nico turn each page. The librarian was not looking at him right now. She was talking to a tall, blonde boy. His backpack was red and his shirt was hideously orange. He handed her a flyer.
The librarian's eyes shot up to where Nico had been sitting. Nico took that as his cue to hastily make an exit.
He kept his head down and briskly strode back to Barney. Barney was still asleep when he opened the door. Nico could hear snoring.
The first thing Nico did was check on the chickens. He noticed half a bagel on the ground and picked it up. He walked to the kitchen to deposit it.
"What do you have there, little child?" a rasping voice asked. Nico felt claws digging into the skin of his shoulder and he jumped, dropping the bagel on the floor.
He whirled around but it was only Evelyn from next door. She was around Barney's age and liked to visit with baked goods. A tray of her muffins sat on the kitchen counter.
"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed. "I'm so sorry. Did I startle you?"
Nico shook his head, bending down to get the bagel and dump it in the bin.
"My fault, Miss Evelyn," he reassured her. "I need rest."
"You do look pale, you poor thing," Evelyn cooed. "A strapping young man like you needs his beauty sleep."
"I'm seventeen," Nico said. "Hardly a man."
"Hardly indeed," Evelyn agreed. "All the more reason to sleep."
Nico shook his head.
"Can't. Barney will be up soon."
"Not for a while," she said. "At least have a muffin, dear."
She rested a hand on Nico's arm. Her long fingernails scraped at the exposed skin, forming tiny beads of blood.
"No, thank you," Nico said. "I had a bagel earlier."
Her nails dug deeper.
"Well, I know that's not true," she said. "Barnaby would never share his bagels."
"Really, I'm fine."
Evelyn clung deeper and opened her mouth, caked in dark red lipstick.
"Evie!" Barney shouted from the top of the stairs. "The hell are you doing here?"
Evelyn abruptly dropped Nico's arm, turning to beam at Barney. He scowled at her.
"I let myself in," she said. "I brought muffins."
Nico grabbed his arm, rubbing away the stinging sensation.
"Damn neighbour," Barney complained. "Letting herself in as she pleases."
Evelyn's beam grew wider. "Someone has to check on y'all."
"The boy's here to check on me," Barney pointed out. "We ain't pansies living together for the sake of it."
"Barney, you know you can't say that," Nico interjected. Barney scoffed.
"We ain't homosexuals. Y'all youth are so fussy with your appropriation."
"I'm gay, Barney," Nico said, "and I don't look like a flower. Say homosexual and get over it."
Barney shoved the muffins towards Evelyn.
"Get out of my house, Evie."
"I'm leaving," Evelyn said, bustling her way out the door. She left the muffins behind.
Nico pinched his nose bridge.
"You could have been nicer to her, sir."
"Could have," Barney said, "but I wasn't."
-
Nico made it barely a step into the bakery the next morning before Elise was crowing her victory.
"I told you!" she yelped giddily. "I told you! I fucking told you!"
"Told me what?" Nico asked, amused. Elise rounded the counter and shoved a piece of paper in his face.
"Read it," she demanded.
Nico scanned it.
NICCOLO DI ANGELO
Niccolo 'Nico' Di Angelo has been missing for a year. He is five foot six with dark hair and brown eyes. He was last seen wearing black, skinny jeans; a black t-shirt; a necklace with a coin on it and an aviator jacket.
If seen, please call ***** ******
We miss him very much. Any help is greatly appreciated.
Nico took a steadying breath.
"It's you!" Elise said. "There's no photo but it's clearly you!"
"Niccolo Di Angelo," Nico read aloud. "Niccolo? Really?"
"Isn't it your name?" Elise asked. Nico frowned.
"I don't know. I suppose it must be."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
Nico groaned inwardly. He avoided Elise's searching eyes.
"I have amnesia," he said. "I can't remember anything from before a year ago. That's why I said I had no family."
"What? And you didn't think to tell me? I'm your best friend!"
"You are?" Nico replied. Elise rolled her eyes, snatching the flyer.
"Of course I am, dumbass. A blonde guy gave me this. He said his name was Will Solace and he was looking for you. Apparently, he's your boyfriend."
"My what?"
"It was news to me too!"
Nico sat down in the middle of the bakery, leaning against an aisle shelf. He tipped his head back and started at the popcorn ceiling.
"What now?" he asked quietly.
Elise put her hands on her hips. "What do you mean 'what now'? We call him!"
Nico's eyes darted to where she was already typing in her phone password.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"The dude loves you," Elise said slowly. "He's looking desperately for you. He knows you. He knows people who know you. This is obviously a good idea."
"But what if I sucked?" Nico asked, crossing his legs and rubbing his forehead. "What if he knew me and I was an assholes?"
"Dude." Elise grinned. "Only one way to find out."
The dial tone started ringing. Elise put it on speaker. Nico's heart was dropping down, down, down.
On the fifth ring, someone picked up.
"Hello, this is Will Solace speaking."
Nico's chest panged at the voice. He didn't recognise it in anyway other than emotion. It was deep and comforting with a southern twag. It felt like a warm, weighted blanket being layed over him. It felt safe and welcoming. It felt terrifying.
"Hi!" Elise responded chirpily. "I'm Elise from the bakery. I'm calling about Nico Di Angelo."
There was a moment of silence and then a roughly breathed, "Do you know where he is?"
Elise looked like she might burst with excitement.
"Actually, he's here with me now."
She thrusted the phone towards Nico. Nico froze. He hesitated, clearing his throat.
"Um, hello."
Something that resembled a sob echoed through the bakery.
"Nico?"
Nico briefly met Elise's eyes.
"Yeah. I've had amnesia for about a year but I match your description and I think I might be the person you're looking for."
"Darling, I know you are. I'd recognise your voice anywhere. Where are you?"
"I'm at Elise's bakery." Nico could barely hear himself speak over the pounding of his heart. "Just down the road from Sunny Day Library."
"Okay," Will said. "Okay, I know where you are. Can you stay put?"
"I need to get back to where I'm staying," Nico answered. "I'm a caretaker for this guy and he needs me. It's Number Fourteen. It's three buildings down from the bakery."
"Okay." There was a short sound of scuffling. "I'm on my way. I'm so glad you're okay, sweetheart. I'll be there in half an hour."
Nico felt a lump rising in his throat.
"I'll see you then," he choked out. "Bye."
"Bye."
The call ended.
"Holy shit!" Elise literally jumped for joy. "This is awesome!"
She dropped to the ground and wrapped him in a massive hug. Nico tried to control his breathing, hugging her back tightly. They'd stayed like that for a few minutes.
Nico felt like crying.
"Yeah, it is. I've... I've got to get back to Barney."
"Of course!" Elise said, grabbing him a packet of bagels. "Be safe!"
"I will be," Nico promised.
He nearly skipped back to Barney's. When he opened the door, he called out to let Barney know he was home. He doubted the man heard him.
He entered the kitchen, grinning.
"Hello there, dear." Evelyn stepped into sight. "You're in a good mood."
Nico hugged his jacket to him.
"Yeah, I am," he said.
Something in her face flickered. Her eyes flashed red. Nico blinked, clearing his vision.
"Are you okay, pet?" she asked.
Nico nodded. "Oh, yeah. I just thought I saw something."
"Like what?"
Evelyn's mouth formed the words but the voice was gravelly and distorted. Nico took a step back.
"Nothing," he said. She reached out and he pulled away.
Her nails started to grow, curling into long talons and her smile grew so wide it stretched from cheekbone to cheekbone.
"Really, dear?"
Nico stumbled back, grabbing wildly for a knife. He held it in front of him, hands shaking.
"Oh that won't do anything to me." Evelyn's laughter was like nails scratching down a chalkboard or a fork scraping against a bowl.
Nico wanted to cover his ears but he had to hold the knife between them.
Evelyn's nose curved towards her, creating an angular beak and her dress pulled back: the reds and blacks of it created thick, bloody wings. She was naked and scrawny and covered in feathers.
"What the fuck."
She dived for him and Nico dove back, slicing at the inch of air between them. He ducked behind the table as her talons sliced the tip of one of his curls off.
"What the fuck!" was all Nico could say. "What the actual fuck!"
"No one can save you now, halfblood!" Evelyn screeched.
"It's not my fault I'm biracial!" Nico protested, scrambling out of the way of her claws.
Somewhere behind his pounding head and the blood rushing in his ears, Nico heard a knock.
"Help!" he yelled, dodging another blow. The edge of her talon cut clean through the skin of his arm and he hissed in pain.
She used his pain to catch him off guard and pin him to the floor. Her claws pierced into his chest and he watched in wide-eyed, paralysing fear.
The claws tightened, her beak opened...
And she exploded into golden mist.
Nico panted raggedly. His eyes landed on the blonde boy from the library wielding a sword. His eyes were sky blue.
"Are you okay?" The voice that left the boy's mouth was instantly recognisable.
"Will?" Nico asked.
"What the fuck!" Barney's voice bellowed from the top of the stairs. "Blondie just stabbed my neighbour!"
Will didn't spare a glance at Barney. Instead, he helped Nico off the ground and pulled him into a hug.
"You're safe," he said. "Thank fuck, you're safe."
He pulled back, holding Nico's shoulders and examining for injury. Nico was too stunned to say anything. He gaped when Will played one hand on his chest and one on his arm and his skin knitted itself together with a glowing golden thread.
"What the hell just happened?" Barney asked, repeating what Nico was screaming in his head.
Will kept his hands on Nico but turned to look at Barney.
"Your neighbour was a harpy," he said calmly.
"A what?" Nico asked.
"Shit, you don't have your memories," Will realised aloud. He handed Nico a small vial with azure water in it.
Nico paused before taking it. "Uh, thank you?"
"They're your memories," Will explained. "We got Hera to give them back to us. Drink it."
Before Nico could question the many things weird about that sentence, he listened to his instincts and downed the water.
His eyes screwed shut.
He saw an oasis, bathed in golden light. The water inside it was gone. He stepped into the hole where it used to lie.
The world around him exploded into colour. Trees and animals and flowers sprung up around him. He heard laughter and birdsong and the heavens opened up and rained for the first time. He tipped his head to the sky, catching raindrops on his tongue.
Nico opened his eyes and caught the gaze of the man he loved.
"Will." His voice cracked.
He flung himself into Will's arms, clutching him tightly. He breathed in Will's scent and pushed his hands into Will's tangled curls.
"Fuck," he whispered. "I love you. I love you so much, Will. Will, I love you."
He repeated it over and over into the crook of Will's neck. He kissed Will's jawbone, then his cheek, then his lips, pulling him closer. Will's lips were chapped yet so soft and warm and willing.
Will's tongue was practiced and his hands were moving, trying to hold every bit of Nico all at once. Nico tugged at Will's hair, inhaling his gasps and kissing his murmurs.
He pulled back with a consoling kiss for air, chest heaving up and down.
Will beamed down at him, hands pulling Nico's chest to meet his.
"What the hell just happened!" Barney yelled.
Nico started to laugh, resting his head against Will's chest.
"I don't know," he said. "But we've got time to figure it out."