Actions

Work Header

I'll Be Better

Summary:

"The bolt of swirling, crackling black magic zapped through the air, but it never reached Edwin, instead crashing straight into Charles’ chest. And the pain was overwhelming, debilitating, and the greatest kindness Charles had felt since entering the museum. He was the one crashing into the wall, not Edwin. He was the one fighting abrasive waves of pain as the magic coursed through his body, not Edwin. If he had done this, then he hadn’t been completely useless."

Or,

Charles and Edwin go on a case, and Charles feels useless after spending half the case restrained, unable to help. He compensates for this by taking a hit for Edwin. Obviously, he is not very happy about this, and it turns into an argument. Ensuing angst, comfort, and fluff.

I feel like in the show we kind of see this idea that Charles feels like he needs to be useful, and he needs to be the protector, so I wanted to explore that.

Notes:

The more I think about the fact that Netflix cancelled this show, the more sour I become. I will write fics for these boys as long as there are people there to read them.

This was meant to be a one chapter fic, but I got a little carried away.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Thick boots sent the sound of footsteps echoing throughout the giant hall, and everywhere they stepped Crystal could feel eyes watching her. It was more than just her reflection in the glass that was following them. There was a monster in this building that would very likely try and steal her soul if she was alone with it. It was fucking justified if she was a bit freaked by this case.

 

“Stay alert, Crystal. You are most vulnerable, seeing as you are alive, and the wraith will be hostile towards anything it encounters.” She felt a pressure on her shoulder, a fuzzy, illusive touch that told her Edwin had placed his hand on her shoulder. His words didn’t offer much in the way of comfort, but she knew the warning was its own kind of caring.

 

“Wow, Crystal- you must be really freaked out if even Edwin is comforting you.” Charles didn’t bother staying quiet as Edwin had, they were trying to catch the wraith’s attention after all. He smiled as he spoke, and Charles’ smiles always had a way of putting her at ease. He dropped the grin for a moment, tone deadly serious. “This is one case that neither Edwin or I would judge you for backing out of. There is real risk here.”

 

“No way I’m letting you two have all the fun. Besides, you’ll probably need my psychic skills.” Crystal crossed her arms and tried not to acknowledge the shiver running down her spine. She then realized that there was only one ghost standing beside her. “Edwin?”

 

The Edwardian was standing before a painting of Napoleon Bonaparte. He reached closer to the painting, and Crystal could feel the urge to run mixing with her urge to step closer and see what caught Edwin’s eye. Charles beat her to it, moving to give the other ghost a questioning look. “The eyes on this painting, they are all black.”

 

“Oi, back up!” Charles had the little dagger in hand in an instant, twirling it between his fingers. He stepped in front of her, and grabbed at Edwin, pulling him away from the painting. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Again, the only thing watching them was Crystal’s reflection in the glass display cases. 

 

Then, it was as though her consciousness was drawn towards the painting, her mind stretching to be right next to it. The painting stretched and ripped open, and a slender hand pushed its way out of the frame. It looked like it was made of the absence of light, of warmth. A bone-chilling cold pressed outward from the hand, and a thin, tall body followed. It was like staring into a black hole, only it was humanoid and towering over them. It hurt her eyes to look at, as though its entire purpose was to inflict pain. But the true horror was the face, the eyes.

 

They were dark, like the ocean, devouring the gaze of any who made eye contact. They pulled her in, warped the museum around her, it was like falling into endless darkness. Then, the eyes glowed green, in a flash, and the change was jarring. The change was like release, but it was like a slap to the face, as she released that the monster had lurched forwards towards Edwin.

~~~~~~~

“Oi! It took a long time to learn how to use the bag-of-tricks-backpack.” Charles lips were in a pout, arms crossed. “Sorry if sometimes it takes me a while to find things.”

 

“Right, your magical backpack.” Edwin knew that this always got the other going. The younger ghost didn’t care for magic, and he made it known. 

 

“It’s not magic! It’s a complex pocket-dimension, one that I slowly learned how to navigate after years of practice! Besides, magic is your thing, mate.” He set the book down on the desk, more carefully than he probably would’ve liked to, but it was very, very old and Edwin had just grown curious about magical sea plants. “If I tried magic, I would definitely muck things up. That’s why I’ve gotta make myself useful as the brawn, innit?”

 

Before Port Townsend, the joke might have slid under Edwin’s radar. Charles had always been cheerful. His beautiful face was made to smile, and joy seemed to have been ingrained in his soul. But there was always more behind those beautiful umber eyes than the other cared to let on, and Edwin had just recently learned to look for it.

 

“I’m sure that-“ a knock interrupted Edwin mid-sentence. He walked away from the shelves and towards his chair behind the desk. Charles sat on a small step ladder, one that was old and creaky and sat below one of their tallest shelves. “Come in.”

 

The door opened. This was definitely a newly dead ghost, then. Anyone else would phase through the door. A young woman walked through the door. She had shoulder-length brown hair that sat straight around her bright blue eyes.  “Hi, is this the Dead Boy Detective Agency?”

 

“It is. My name is Edwin, and this is my partner, Charles. What may we help you with?”

 

“I died.” Charles put a hand out to stop Edwin, but he was too slow. It really was a valiant effort, but the older ghost truly didn’t have time to consider what to say before he was saying it.

 

“Well, we can see that.” The client seemed to crack a bit of a smile, despite having been solemn since entering the office. Charles seems to relax his posture once more at the sight. “Do you have any supernatural issues? Anything stopping you from moving on?”

 

“I-“ she took a deep breath, and Edwin knew he shouldn’t point out how she didn’t need them anymore (neither he nor Charles had kicked themselves of the habit). “I went to a museum with my Dad. One second, we were looking at old shoes. Then…”

 

The ghost paused, and for the first time Edwin saw just how young she looked, how scared she looked, how shiny her cobalt eyes had grown. Charles stepped forward, and the older ghost could feel his chest tingle, love swelling in his lungs. He watched in admiration as the other placed a hand on her shoulder, his umber eyes catching hers, and he smiled, but it was so much more than comfort he conveyed. There was assurance, empathy, and compassion. “Hey, it’s alright. Everything will be okay, me and Edwin will make sure of it. Just tell us what happened so that we can help you out, yeah?”

 

“Then, I died. I- he,” she tripped on her words, eyes squeezing shut. “I need to know why I died, and make sure that my Dad is alright.”

 

“We will take your case. As soon as we learn anything, we will tell you.” Edwin knew that this was not the time to inquire about payment. Charles nodded towards him, a quick jerk of his head that told Edwin he agreed.

 

“Thank you, thank you so much.” She smiled, round cheeks pulling at the corners. Then she pulled Charles in for a hug, and Edwin knew that his partner would needy deny someone comfort when they sought it out. Then she turned towards Edwin, and he allowed a smile, but he was not at all interested in her hug, not comfortable with it.

 

“How shall we contact you?”

~~~~~~~

“Recent papers say that the museum has been closed for strange happenings inside. This was definitely a supernatural occurrence.” Edwin had his eyes trained on the papers and books before him, and Charles was shoulder deep in his backpack, grabbing for yet another book.

 

“Right, it’s not like you guys only take cases related to supernatural mysteries or anything,” Crystal dropped the strands of hair she had been fiddling with, moving up from the arm of the couch and approaching the desk to also take a look at the papers. Edwin huffed, and Charles tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he tried to hurry and grab the book before a real argument could start. “Do the papers say anything about the ‘strange happenings?’”

 

“They say that some staff report seeing someone dressed in odd attire walking around the museum shortly before the incident- that incident being the brutal but seemingly unexplained death of a teenage girl in the museum.” Edwin flipped through the paper before him and then quickly shuffled around the papers, choosing a new one.

 

“Right, mate, here’s the book you wanted. Any idea what the ghost might be?” Charle finally pulled his arm out of the bag-of-tricks-backpack, with a very thick book in hand.

 

“Thank you, Charles. I’ll have to do some more research, but I believe that it is likely a wraith.”

 

“What’s a wraith?” Crystal always felt a bit out-of-the-loop when it came to supernatural things like this. She refused to spend hours of her living existence studying things that she wouldn’t normally have to worry about until she was dead.

 

“Honestly Crystal, how can you be such a clever-clogs, and yet be so ignorant on the supernatural?” Edwin set the book down and snapped his head up to her face, and his self-satisfied smirk had returned to its home on his thin lips.

 

“Oi, be nice. I barely know what a wraith is either. We can’t all be the brains, you know.” Charles smiled at Edwin, and the older ghost rolled his eyes before grabbing the giant book and flipping to a page depicting a monstrous slender figure, cloaked in black. Of course they would have to fight something scary.

 

“A wraith is a supernatural being, it is typically attracted by failed spells,”

 

“There is no chance we are going to skip over the fact that you just said clever-clogs.” Charles cracked a smile, glancing at Crystal with a cheeky grin. Edwin, however, just crossed his arms and huffed indignantly.

 

“It was a perfectly acceptable phrase in my day. It’s no different than saying sly-boots!” Crystal laughed out at that, and Edwin rolled his eyes, cleared his throat. “As I was saying, a wraith is attracted to failed spells, especially those meant to extend longevity. They eat the soul of the person they first posses, feeding on its energy and using their body as a vessel. They are hostile towards everything, and once they run out of energy they will search for another soul to devour.”

 

“Great, so we have to deal with a soul-eating monster.”

 

“Cheers, Crystal. It wouldn’t be the first time, right?” Charles clapped her on the back gently and walked around the desk to get a better look at the book. “How d’you kill it?”

 

“Silver to them is like iron to us, and a blow to the heart by silver weapon is fatal.” It almost felt too easy that all the needed was silver to take down the wraith, but then again, nothing was ever easy. Edwin had basically said that there was a chance it could try to eat her soul.

 

“Brills, I’m sure I have a silver weapon lying around in my bag.”

~~~~~~~

Charles saw the hand emerge from the painting, and grabbed with more urgency, yanking Edwin back. The monster rushed forward, pointed fingers reaching towards Edwin’s neck. That was not going to happen. The little dagger was not his prime choice of weapon, but he had worked with less. “Wrong move, mate.”

 

Charles lunged forth with a grunt, but the monster was faster. The dagger missed its target, slicing into the arm, cutting through the darkness it seemed to be made off. The wraith let out a wail, and it sounded like a thousand screams of terror in one. Its eyes started glowing once more, a dark green shining out. Charles found he didn’t have time to react before a burst threw him back.

 

“Charles-“ He heard Edwin’s gasp, and Crystal yelled out for him. His flight ended after a few seconds, and he crashed into a display case, shattering the glass.

 

“It’s got magic, Edwin!” He pushed himself up before charging back towards the wraith, ignoring the habit of catching his breath from the impact. “Why the hell does it have magic?!” 

 

He saw Crystal dart back as black bolts of magic short outwards from the wraith. Edwin grunted as he dropped low to avoid the blasts. “I haven’t a clue, just stab the thing!”

 

“I get that this is kind of your thing, but could you two save the arguing for later?” Crystal frowned as she brandished the kitchen knife Edwin had pulled out of their collection. It was one of the only other silver items they owned, and Crystal looked like she could honestly kill somebody with it.

 

Edwin stepped back as Charles approached, knife out. For that, the younger ghost was grateful. Edwin could use his beautiful brain to figure out why on earth the thing had magic, and why it had already healed for his earlier attacks, and Charles could distract the wraith. The dagger made a swish as he stabbed towards’ the beasts torso, but once again there was a flash of dark green, and thick blackness enveloped his wrists. He could feel the restraints, could feel how they burned him. He couldn’t pull away, couldn’t fight the magic.

 

More inky blackness snaked around his body, and it dragged him back, down towards the corner, towards the painting the creature emerged from. Charles tried to fight it, but more tendrils rose up, curling over his mouth, around his legs, squeezing his arms to his ribs.

 

“It must have possessed a witch!” Edwin ducked out from behind a statue he had been using for cover, and the longer ghost saw the fear that flitted in his eyes when he saw the scene; Wraith advancing on Crystal slowly, Charles tied down.

 

The younger ghost couldn’t do anything but watch. It lashed out at her, and Charles fought harder against the restraints, bringing his legs up and crashing them down on the floor again and again. Every crash sent panic echoing in Charles mind, and bangs echoing through the museum. It didn’t work, nothing worked against the magical bonds, they only writhed, even as he turned the knife on them. If Crystal got so much as a scratch, it would be his fault. The shadows wrapped around him, tightened and flexed, and he couldn’t break free. He couldn’t move. Fear ripped at his heart, and his chest burned, he had to help. He was the reason that Edwin was scared, he was the reason Crystal’s life was now at risk. 

 

Crystal ducked down and slipped around the monster, grabbing it on the shoulders, her eyes morphing into white orbs. Edwin rushed in Charles direction, but he ought to get his priorities straight, as Crystal’s eyes were brimming with tears. He dropped the knife and kicked it, sending it sliding across the floor. Edwin grabbed it and raced forward, and Crystal’s hands dropped just as he got near. 

 

“Crystal, look out!” Edwin sounded scared, visceral panic in his voice that chipped at Charles’ resolve.

 

Those clawed hands reached forwards, and Charles tried to shout, to tell Crystal to move, anything. All he could do was bite down on his lip, hard, and dig his nails into his palms, the pain serving as nothing but an outlet for the storm raging inside. He wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, magic was surging on those sharpened finger tips, and they were inches away from Crystal. Charles could feel his heart pounding all the way in his chest, his lungs rushed for breaths that he could no longer take. His chest hurt as he watched, he had failed them, his heart pounded louder. Then, Edwin stabbed, the knife slicing through shadow incarnate and eliciting another splitting wail. It drowned out the panic rushing in Charles ears, everyone was okay. 

 

Crystal dropped low and rolled away from the creature dragging through glass and debris, Edwin gave her a wild look, with wide green eyes. “Will a blow to the heart still kill it?!”

 

Edwin nodded, desperately stepping back as the creature recovered, turning with his nightmare eyes trained on his partner. “You need to distract it if I am to land a direct hit!”

 

“How the fuck am I going to do that?!” Crystal jumped out of the way of another crackling black spell, and Charles felt guilt crash over his body when he saw blood drip from a cut on her cheek. It hit him like a wave, like drowning. Guilt filled his senses, it rushed into his ears, and bombarded his eyes, it choked him, like water. It was his fault, he was sitting on his ass being useless, and Edwin and Crystal were picking up the slack he had created.

 

Crystal tried to approach the wraith, but it screamed again, whipping around to the psychic and aiming another blast of magic. Charles swore he could see the monster’s attack release, tearing through the girl. But instead, the wailing got louder. This time, Edwin was more fierce with his strike, slashing straight into the abdomen, narrowly missing the heart.

 

Charles moved a hand to clutch at his heart, and realized in a flash that the restraints were gone. He was up in an instant, running towards the scene. The wraith was already stitching back together, a sickly green glow painting across Edwin’s face as it summoned more magic into its finger tips. In a heartbeat, in the time it took for the older ghost to regain balance from the strike, the blast was firing off into the air, straight towards Edwin. It wasn’t a choice, it was as vital as breathing was to the living. Charles had done nothing but be useless for the entire case, he would be damned if he was going to let Edwin take a hit. He was the brawn, he was the protector, and he was failing. He would not let this Edwin get hurt

 

The bolt of swirling, crackling black magic zapped through the air, but it never reached Edwin, instead crashing straight into Charles’ chest. And the pain was overwhelming, debilitating, and the greatest kindness Charles had felt since entering the museum. He was the one crashing into the wall, not Edwin. He was the one fighting abrasive waves of pain as the magic coursed through his body, not Edwin. If he had done this, then he hadn’t been completely useless. 

 

His ears felt as though he was under water, and god Charles had never wanted to feel that again, but he forced his mind to stay focused, just in case he was needed again. He heard Edwin’s shouts, he heard Crystal’s gasp. He heard that haunting wail. He tried to push himself up, but the magic was still surging through his body, he could see black crackles dancing around his fingers, burning like cat scratches or iron. 

 

“A- you.. alright?” They still sounded distant, but the wailing had stopped, and he could tell that Crystal and Edwin had beaten the thing. 

 

“Wh.. Charles?!” He heard the echoing clomps of Edwin’s shows before his face appeared in the corner of his vision, and his eyes still wore that look of fear. This made Charles frown, it was his fault, he would have to do better next time. Or maybe, they’d be better off without Charles next time. That thought more than anything scared Charles into forcing himself into a sitting position. He had proven to be nothing but a burden on this case, Edwin and Crystal were more than capable without him. Was he really that useless?

 

“Cheers, mate. Another job officially jobbed.” Charles found that Edwin did not return his smile.

 

“Charles Rowland, I cannot believe you would be so fucking idiotic.”

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Notes:

I didn't really edit this chapter, so I apologize for any rants or errors.

I might have accidentally made it wayyy more angsty than I wanted, but whatever, I'm sure that if you picked this fic, you wanted angst, right?

Please enjoy this scattered mess of a character study/angst fic

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Charles!” Edwin felt his heart fire into his chest, making his scream come out choked. He saw the way the magic darted around the younger ghost’s body, making the way he crumpled to the ground ten times worse. His legs burned with the desire to chase Charles, his chest twinged with fear, but he heard Crystal darting forward with her tiny kitchen knife. “Crystal, read the wraith’s mind again! Now!”

 

The psychic glanced to Charles, before her smoke-dark eyes ripped themselves back to the creature preparing more bolts of magic. She shot her hands out like they were sharpened knives, with the anger and conviction that told Edwin she was just as pissed at this stupid fucking wraith as he was. The moment her eyes morphed into whiteness, the magic dissipated from its disgusting, pointed fingers, Edwin brandished the knife with an uncontrollable rage. He squeezed it tight, swinging and stabbing the monster right where its shriveled heart should be. He stabbed again, and again, even as wails and shrieks sounding like the haunted screams he would sometimes hear in hell filled his ears. 

 

Then, he felt the tingling pressure of Crystal’s hand, and realized that there was no longer a wraith towering over them. Crystal didn’t seem deterred by Edwin’s violent outburst, instead her eyes carried a sense of pride, of conviction. “Are you alright?”

 

“Quite. What did you-“ his voice trailed off as his brain switched off autopilot. He did not care in the slightest what Crystal had seen in the wraith’s mind when Charles was still crumpled on the floor, body trembling slightly. “Charles!”

 

He ran forward, and realized Crystal was right behind him, catching her bearings after being in the creature’s mind. He could feel the magic still lingering on Charles as he got closer, and he couldn’t help the fear that tinged his voice as he called for his partner. 

 

The younger ghost shoved himself up, his arms looking so shaky as he pushed himself up. His umber eyes darted straight to Edwin’s, and…  they looked hazy, shrouded, but all Edwin could find inside was light humor. He smiled. Charles looked like he had before they ever entered the museum, and Edwin knew in an instant that this was all a lie. Crystal had opened his eyes to the way his partner always hid any emotion that wasn’t joy.

 

“Cheers, mate. Another job officially jobbed.” Charles voice sounded rough, but Edwin was caught on the words. Incredulity, a heartbroken type of rage, piled onto the overwhelming concern and relief surging through the older ghost. 

 

“Charles Rowland, I cannot believe you would be so fucking idiotic.” Edwin’s hands were balled into fists so tight the leather of his gloves seemed to strain at the knuckles. He couldn’t stop himself, the pressure helping to ease the worry that had surged through him at watching Charles fly into the wall. 

 

“Sorry, I hadn’t expected-“ Edwin could not listen to the end of that sentence. Charles had once again used himself like a human shield, and Edwin was getting sick of it. Sick of the boy he loved so dearly treating himself like something made to defend others at the cost of himself. He was so sick of seeing how little Charles valued himself. He was the most important thing in Edwin’s whole afterlife, but he treated himself like he was dispensable.

 

“Crystal, could you please bring this dagger back to the office?” His words were like their own daggers, sharp with a barely contained tyrant he was holding back for when he was alone with Charles. The psychic for once didn’t retort, or try to help. She gave Edwin a look that said she approved wholly of what was about to happen, and she took the knife before striding quickly out of the museum. “What the fuck were you thinking? You had no idea what that spell would do to you!”

 

“Better me than you.” Charles had pulled himself to his feet, Edwin could see the way his body protested being forced upright. This fueled the fire lighting the Edwardian’s words, but not nearly as much as the words he wasn’t sure he had heard properly.

 

“What?” Edwin’s words came out like a frustrated hiss, but he couldn’t keep the concern and fear from tinging his tone.

 

“I said, better me than you, mate. That spell was going to take you out. It’s my… I am here to protect you, Edwin.” Charles looked so, deadly serious. Edwin felt his heart constricting in his chest, and if he thought too hard about what Charles had just said, it physically hurt, worse than a catch scratch, worse than iron.

 

“I do not need your protection. You could have been discorporated Charles! I am not something fragile, and neither is Crystal. We do not need your protection! We do not need you to throw yourself into harm for no reason, we handled the wraith just fine without you!” Edwin was so desperate, so angry. He was angry with Charles, and he knew that he shouldn’t feel so irritated, so incredulous, but he deserved to be a bit disturbed after watching his friend once more sacrifice himself. He tore a hand through his hair, ruining the strict style he always kept it in. Charles almost died, Charles almost died. His fists pressed tighter. “I don’t know how we can keep doing cases if you are always getting hurt, throwing yourself into danger. I don’t know what I’d do if one day you were just gone!”

 

Edwin’s mind finally came back to the world around them, and he saw Charles’ beautiful, umber eyes wide. They were so strange, holding so many emotions that were all so far from the normal warmth and joy they held, and Edwin could see the tears starting to pool. That was not what was supposed to happen. He needed Charles to know he mattered, that he was worth so much more than he seemed to believe. He reached out, his fingers feeling like static as shivers of sorrow, of love, of worry rocked their way from his chest down to his legs. But Charles’ distraught face, his sad eyes that looked so wrong, hardened into something sharp, something defensive.

 

“That bloody spell would have hurt you Edwin! It could’ve killed Crystal, and then what?!” He stepped back from Edwin, dragging a hand through his hair and scraping his knuckles over his eyes. “Just because you spent 70 years in hell does not mean that you are better than everyone else, you could have easily been killed!”

 

“Charles,” Edwin knew he didn’t mean it, he knew that Charles was just hiding behind his rage. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, because fuck it did, it felt like his heart was being constricted, squeezed. “You could have died, too.”

 

“Fucking fine, at least then I wouldn’t be in the way of you and Crystal, since you are so strong. Just like you said, you killed the wraith just fine without me!” That wasn’t what he’d meant, Charles just wouldn’t understand. The anger that had carried Edwin through this argument was beginning to grow further. He needed to put a stop to this. 

 

“Charles!” And Edwin wanted to say more, but he wasn’t sure what he could say.

 

“It’s fine, Edwin. I get it, you guys don’t need me anymore. Just don’t try to blame your fucking superiority complex on me!” He doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t mean it. Holy shit did it hurt anyways. Did Charles really believe Edwin thought so highly of himself? Did Charles really think they didn’t need him, that Edwin didn't need him?

 

He needed to leave, he wasn’t doing anything but working Charles up. Wordlessly, Edwin stepped away from the other, and onto a shard of broken glass, using the reflection to go back to the office. His fists were clenched so hard Edwin thought they might never separate again, and his mind kept repeating what Charles had said. He barely registered the tingling pressure of the wall as he fell back into it, sliding down until he was in the floor, legs out in front of him. He didn’t cry, he just sat there. He didn’t know how to move on from what had just happened. This was one of the times he sincerely wished that he was as well-versed with human interactions as he was with the magic in his many books.

~~~~~~~

“Edwin?” Crystal had seen the movement from the corner of her eyes, and as she walked towards the mirror, she found the other on the floor. He wasn’t curled up, he was just sitting there. Crystal had been a manipulator, and she had been through enough of life to understand body language, and know what this meant. The conversation hadn’t gone right, then. And it made her so sad, to think about Edwin trying desperately to tell Charles that he couldn’t keep risking his life, because if one day he actually did discorporate, the older ghost would never, ever be the same. It made her so sad to think about Charles, being failed by those who were supposed to love him, seeing himself as something dispensable, hiding his trauma behind smiles, or behind anger.

 

She sunk down to the floor next to Edwin, but she didn’t reach out. “Hey, it’s alright.”

 

Myrtle eyes rose to meet hers, and he wasn’t crying. “I- I am not sure how to feel.”

 

“Your talk didn’t go well, did it?” Edwin shook his head. As many issues as there were in the 21st century, trauma and emotions were no longer suppressed like they had been when Edwin and Charles lived, and Crystal knew this was on area that she could help Edwin, and by extension help Charles. “Why don’t you tell me about it? I know that you and Charles have your own special bond after three decades, but I think I can help.”

 

Edwin paraphrased every single word that he and Charles had said, and Crystal could feel her heart dropping. The other had described the guilt and doubt he felt when Charles turned things on him, and it reminded her of their time in Port Townsend, it reminded her of Brad and Hunter, and the things she'd said to Charles during that case. She was being an asshole, that she could see now, but it didn’t change the fact that anger was one of the only coping mechanisms, defense mechanisms, Charles knew. “Edwin, do you remember back in the Devlin House, how Charles was snapping at you?”

 

Edwin nodded, and she could see that his brain was already catching up to her point. “He doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and he doesn’t want to be weak, so instead of sharing his feelings, or crying, he gets angry. He probably didn’t even register what he was saying, and I know for a fact that Charles would never think you had a superiority complex. He admires you to the point I almost think it’s ridiculous.”

 

“Bloody crap,” even profanity sounded posh in Edwin’s mouth. “I left him there alone, I thought he just needed time.”

 

He was gone before Crystal could try and stop him, or help him. Honestly, she was fairly certain that at this point all Charles needed was Edwin, and for him to understand.

~~~~~~~

“Charles Rowland, I cannot believe you would be so fucking idiotic.” Edwin’s fists were locked together, and he looked so tense, so worried. That worry was Charles fault. If he had done better, then Edwin would never have had to question if they could safely complete the case. But the squeezing pain, the stabbing needles that rippled their way through his body were a testament to the fact that he hadn’t been completely useless right? He had protected Edwin someway, he had made himself useful.

 

“Sorry, I hadn’t expected-“ I hadn’t expected the wraith to tie me down, keep me from protecting you. But Edwin cut him off, and god Edwin looked upset, he looked distraught. This was really bad then, really fucking bad. His heart started to pick up pace, the thumping making his head feel dizzy, even though none of that should be possible for a ghost. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him that Edwin was so kind, and that he cared. But Charles couldn’t listen, and he knew that he would never blame Edwin for finally getting tired of Charles failing to fulfill the one job he had; protection.

 

“Crystal, could you please bring this dagger back to the office?” His myrtle eyes followed Crystal until she left, and then they turned back to Charles. He forced himself to smile at his partner, through the spasms of pain washing through his body, through the squeezing dread building in his chest, forcing the air that he no longer needed out of his lungs. “What the fuck were you thinking? You had no idea what that spell would do to you!”

 

“Better me than you.” Charles knew he shouldn’t have spoken, knew that this would only make Edwin angrier, and he was already on such a thin thread, he had already failed.

 

“What?” There was a sharpness to his voice, and Charles couldn’t help but feel as though he had thoroughly disappointed the other. His tone mixed with memories of all the other people that had abandoned him, when he finally disappointed them and they realized how useless he really was. But he wasn’t lying, and he needed Edwin to at least know the truth.

 

“I said, better me than you, mate. That spell was going to take you out. It’s my… I am here to protect you, Edwin.” It’s why you keep me around. Charles just needed Edwin to understand, he was meant to throw himself into harm’s way for Edwin.

 

“I do not need your protection. You could have been discorporated Charles! I am not something fragile, and neither is Crystal. We do not need your protection! We do not need you to throw yourself into harm for no reason, we handled the wraith just fine without you!” Shit. Charles had known this was coming, he had felt the dread coursing through his body. He had just hoped that maybe that had been remnants of the spell lingering. Edwin didn’t need him anymore, the day had finally come. He had mucked it up, he wasn’t useful, and now Edwin was finally coming to his senses, realizing there was no point in dragging around someone like Charles. “I don’t know how we can keep doing cases if you are always getting hurt, throwing yourself into danger.”

 

Edwin kept talking, but Charles was stuck, the museum spinning around him, his heart racing even faster. The world was crashing down, and it made him dizzy. Charles was out of the agency, Edwin was leaving him. It was really happening then, Edwin was leaving him. He felt his eyes welling up, he watched as the world around him grew blurry, distant. He could feel his breathing growing faster, sporadic, and he felt detached. He wanted to curl up, squeeze his hands into fists so he could feel the grounding pain of his nails digging into his palms. He could hear his voice before he even registered his lips moving. He could feel anger rising within him, overshadowing the world-shattering despair, and he hated himself for it. 

 

“That bloody spell would have hurt you Edwin! It could’ve killed Crystal, and then what?!” Deep inside, he just wanted to stop, he had already mucked things up, and he was only making it worse. He was truly just like his Dad, angry and violent. He couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, he couldn’t quell the anger drowning out his fear. He ripped a hand through his hair, resisting the urge to grab his curls and tug (he wouldn’t feel it anyways), then dragged his hands over his eyes, with enough force that it created spots in his vision. “Just because you spent 70 years in hell does not mean that you are better than everyone else, you could have easily been killed!”

 

“Charles,” and fuck, Edwin looked so hurt, his beautiful eyes wide, misty. “You could have died, too.”

 

“Fucking fine, at least then I wouldn’t be in the way of you and Crystal, since you are so strong. Just like you said, you killed the wraith just fine without me!” Just fucking stop. He couldn’t help the angry words from spilling out of his mouth, and he wanted to shove his hand into his mouth to stop himself from talking, but Edwin had already realized he was useless, the last thing he needed was to show how pathetic he truly was.

 

“Charles!”

 

“It’s fine, Edwin. I get it, you guys don’t need me anymore. Just don’t try to blame your fucking superiority complex on me!” Fucking shit, Edwin’s eyes had flooded with hurt, his fists had pressed so hard Charles could imagine the bone-white of his knuckles under the gloves. And then, he started walking away. It had finally come, Edwin was leaving. Charles watched frozen as Edwin walked to a large shard of glass, disappearing into the surface. 

 

He was alone, Edwin was gone. Charles sank to the floor, he grabbed his legs and dug his nails in, drawing them up to his chest and hugging them tight. There was none of the pain he had craved, that one companion that had always been there, to discipline him, to make him better. The world was spinning again, his heart was tricking him, pumping faster and faster, when there was no blood to move. His lungs were fooled, as they forced him to take gasping breaths, sharp nauseating inhales. His eyes burned, and the pressure of tears he had been fighting finally spilled over. He threw his head back, into the wall, and there was a clang, but no wave of pain, there was nothing keeping him tied to the present, to the museum hall.

 

Charles had always known he was a fuck up, he always failed eventually. He could never stay useful forever, and eventually everyone saw him for the burden he was. His Dad had realized when he was barely five, his Mom had realized when she finally sent him away. His teachers had realized, his friends had realized. Now, Edwin knew it too. Charles had latched onto the other, tried desperately for so many years to defend him, to protect him. It was never meant to last forever, eventually even Edwin would tire of him. He was glad, the agency was better off without him to muck up the cases.

 

For so long, Charles couldn’t move, tears streaming down his face, chest heaving with stinted breaths. Now, no one in the life or afterlife cared, not a single person wanted Charles Rowland. He wondered where he’d ever gone wrong, he was only five when his Dad started beating him, breaking him down slowly, saying it’d make him better, toughen him up. Somewhere along the way he had realized that Paul Rowland was just a fucking cunt, but he must have been right in the end, as Charles was too pathetic to even convince himself to hate his father. It wasn’t his fault that he had been given a sorry excuse for a son, someone who would never be better, even with his guidance or beatings.

~~~~~~~

“Charles?!” Edwin ran out of the small room, where the mirror had been located. He remembered exactly where he had left Charles, and he felt nauseous when he thought about how he had abandoned him. “Charles!”

 

Edwin stopped sharply, and he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when he finally found his partner. Charles flinched violently at the noise of Edwin shouting, but there was no sign that he recognized the other presence. He was curled up so tightly, his legs were hugged tight to his chest, providing a hiding spot for Charles’ face. His knees were pressed into his eyes, and his hands were tightly wrapped in his curls, tugging and grasping tightly. His whole body seemed to be trembling, and Edwin was nearly knocked over by the regret and guilt he felt. But Charles needed him to be strong, to convince him he mattered.

 

Edwin gently sat down next to Charles, and he saw the way the other shifted away from the noise. Crystal hadn’t prepared him for this, what was he meant to do? What would Charles do? Charles had always been so tactile, whenever Edwin was upset he had asked so gently for permission to hug him. He had always complained about the inability to feel things, because the only things ghosts could feel was one another. The Edwardian took a breath before reaching his hands out delicately, as though he could shatter the boy before him into pieces. He took Charles’ hand from his hair, trying to dislodge the painful grip he had on his curls. He took the trembling hand in his and rubbed his thumb in circles.

 

Edwin put his hand on Charles’ shoulder, gently rubbing up and down, trying to ignore the way the his chest constricted with each quiet, shuddering breath from the other. After a few minutes, the trembling subsided, and Charles jumped slightly as he seemed to register Edwin’s touch for the first time. His umber eyes, the beautiful color of warmth and firewood, were rimmed with red, and they widened with so many emotions when they took in the sight of Edwin.

 

“I- I’m so sorry, Edwin. I’ll do better next time, please. I am sorry, I won’t let myself get captured next time, I’ll keep you safe I promise. Please, don’t leave me here. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I'll protect you better.” His voice was so small, quivering, scared, and desperate. It was heart-breaking, and the begging grew more and more incoherent when Edwin pulled his hands away. 

 

“Charles, breathe.”

 

“No, Edwin, please. I know I mucked it up, I know I failed, but I promise I’ll do better.” Charles eyes started to well again with fresh tears, and Edwin found himself wondering how the other had managed to bury this all for so long. “I didn’t mean what I said, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I know I don’t deserve it but give me one more chance. I promise, I’ll be better.”

 

The pleas and begging, the desperate apologies were the worst things Edwin had ever heard. And Charles wouldn’t listen, he couldn’t; he was too lost in his own panic, his memories. Edwin reached his arms out again, wrapping his arms around those trembling shoulders, squeezing tight, trying to bring Charles back to him. The rambling stopped, and Charles gasped quietly, before dropping his head onto Edwin’s shoulder and taking slower, shaking breaths. After some more minutes, he felt the weight of Charles’ head leave his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry,”

 

“Please, Charles, there is no need for you to apologize. I am not mad, I never was. And I would never, ever leave you, even if it meant going back to hell.” Edwin released his friend from the hug, but kept him tight in his grasp, gently but firmly holding him by the shoulders. “You mean so much more to me than being the brawn, than offering protection. I was never upset that you couldn’t help more during the case. I was terrified, because you jumped in front of a foreign spell without any regard for your safety.”

 

Charles wiped at his eyes, this time with gentler fingers than he had used earlier, and his eyebrows raised slightly. 

 

“I do not know what your father, or mother, or anybody in your life must have done to you to make you value yourself so little, Charles, but I can assure you that you mean the world to me. Whether or not you can swing a cricket bat. I understand that sometimes you feel it’s necessary to step in and protect me, but I need you to understand that your safety is important to me, too.”

 

Charles smiled, and it was watery and heart-wrenching, but it reached his eyes. It faded all too quickly as the younger ghost once again swiped at his eyes. “You must think I’m right pathetic.”

 

“Never.” Edwin reached up and wiped some tears from Charles’ face with his own, long fingers, and he loved this boy so much. Crystal had made it sound like Charles loved him too, but they needed time to sort things out, and Charles needed time to face his past.

 

“I- I know that you wouldn’t abandon me, but all I could think about was the things my Dad used to say, and I am supposed to be stronger than this, I am supposed to be stronger than that cunt, but I let him get to me.”

 

“Charles, you did not let him do anything. He abused you, and you were a young boy who knew nothing more than to trust his parents.” Charles eyes started to water again, but Edwin needed to finish, he needed to make sure Charles knew just how much he was loved, how much he was worth. “I love you, in more ways than one, and I will never, ever leave you.”

 

“Love you too.” And Edwin could feel his heavy heart finally lift. It may not be the kind of love he wanted, but he knew that he had his own special place in the heart of Charles, and they loved each other more than anyone else could understand. It was their own, special thing, and even if Charles never liked Edwin romantically, there would never be anyone he loved more.

 

“Would you be willing to return to the office? I think we will be much more comfortable there.” Charles nodded against Edwin’s shoulder, where he had let his head drop. When they had to part and stand, Charles rushed to grab Edwin’s hand in his, entwining their fingers tightly. 

 

Crystal was nowhere to be found when they returned to the office, and Edwin felt so thankful for that fact. He didn’t think he could bear to see Charles try and pull himself together for the sake of others. Instead, they went straight to the couch. Edwin laid out on his back on the couch, and Charles squished himself between the couch cushions and the older ghost. He was practically on top of Edwin, and he wrapped one arm around Edwin’s neck, once again burying his face in the Edwardian’s shoulder.

 

“Read to me?” The request was so quiet, that Edwin almost missed the sound of his partner’s muffled voice. But once he understood, there was nothing that could stop him from picking up the book on the table and reading all through the rest of the night.

Notes:

So, was it too angsty? I really wanted to go into detail about it (you know that feeling when you read a really descriptive line and you just feel it in your chest, I wanted to write something like that), but I didn't mean for it to be quite this detailed.

Thank you so much for reading, and keeping the Dead Boy Detectives fandom alive. I am telling myself that another streaming service will pick the show up but I think I am just being delulu 😭

Comments or criticisms are very appreciated 🫶

Notes:

So, I don't think I am the best at writing angst, which is not a good sign for the next chapter, since it will have a lot of angst-

Thank you for reading. Comments and criticism are very appreciated, and I love every single person in this fandom and who is reading this fic.

💜💜💜

Series this work belongs to: