Chapter Text
"Thai tonight, babe? We could order from that one takeout place we like." TK asked, stepping into the living room. They'd both had long shifts that week and the last thing either of them wanted to do was cook dinner.
"Definitely," Carlos replied, looking up from his book. "I could go for some pad thai."
He set his book aside and smiled at TK, appreciating the distraction from his thoughts. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind, with the wedding planning and the preparations for officially becoming husbands. But there was also a small, nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he couldn't shake off. That never seemed to fully go quiet.
TK knew his husband, knew him better than anybody else really. "Are you regretting it yet?" He asked, moving to sit next to him on the couch.
Ever since they’d met, TK had only known "police officer" Carlos. Sure, he'd had his fair share of detective offers but he'd been determined to stay on the Austin PD. He liked being a police officer, getting to work in the community. Then his dad died, just a few days before their wedding. And if TK knew anything about his husband was that he could be stubborn once he set his mind to something.
He still remembered the day Carlos had announced he was becoming a Ranger instead, recalling one of their last conversations he'd had with his dad with Gabriel trying to push him into it even with Carlos's own issues with the Texas Rangers.
Carlos chuckled from the couch, though it sounded a little forced. "Regret what? Marrying you?"
TK rolled his eyes, “You know that’s not what I mean but unfortunately for you, even if that was true, we don’t do divorce around here.” He retorted, not after everything they’d gone through, hell and back to finally get down the aisle.
Carlos rolled his eyes, placing a hand on top of TK's, giving it a gentle squeeze. He knew TK could read him like a book, and he appreciated that his husband always seemed to know when something was bothering him. He ran his thumb back forth over TK’s wedding ring, a new nervous habit he’d seemed to develop somewhere along the way.
"No, I'm not regretting anything," Carlos eventually said, though his voice revealed a hint of hesitation. He shifted on the couch, turning to look at TK.
"It's just... it's a big change, you know? Going from APD to the Texas Rangers," he began, “I never had the desire to be a Ranger before and now he’s gone and can’t even see me doing the thing he wanted most.”
TK sighed, he could understand that. The desire to make your parent proud, it had been one of his initial driving factors to become a firefighter back in New York previously, the desire to make his father proud.
"I.. well I understand that. But I hate the idea of you being unhappy to prove a point or something." TK said quietly.
Carlos's shoulders sagged a bit at TK's words. He knew TK had a good point, but it wasn't that simple. "I just... feel like I need to do this for him, you know?" he confessed, running a hand through his hair. "I know it's stupid, and he's not even here to see it, but it’s… it’s just hard.” He admitted, his voice quieter now.
"I feel like I'm carrying this responsibility that he left for me. He was so damn proud of being a Ranger, and I know I didn't always appreciate that when I was younger. I just... I want to do it for him, TK. I want to make him proud."
TK's heart ached for his husband, "I know baby, believe me I know." He said quietly. With his own mom's death a year ago, he felt like everything he did was for his mom. His sobriety, the wedding, all of it trying to keep his mom's memory alive
Carlos' shoulders sagged, his head drooping slightly as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I just... I wish he could be here. I wish he could see me as a Ranger, just like he wanted. It feels like I'm always trying to live up to his expectations, even after he's gone." he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
Rather than speaking, he leaned forward and tugged Carlos into his arms. "It's Friday, we both have the weekend off. We're not thinking about work for two days." He decided, it was very rare for them to even have a shared week and TK was determined to enjoy it.
Carlos let out a slow exhale, allowing himself to be pulled into TK's embrace. He wrapped his arms around TK's waist, burying his face in the crook of his neck.
"You're right," he mumbled against TK's skin. "No work talk. Just us, for the next couple days."
"You, me and pad thai." TK said, reminding his husband he was indeed hungry. For being now an EMT, he still had the appetite of a firefighter especially after a long shift.
Carlos chuckled, the lightness of TK's tone bringing a smile to his face. His own rumbling stomach agreed with the suggestion. "And pad thai it is," he said, giving TK's side a gentle squeeze. "Let me grab my phone.”
He reluctantly disentangled himself from TK's embrace and got up to retrieve his phone from the kitchen counter.
As TK watched him go into the kitchen, he leaned forward to grab the remote to turn on Grand Designs for dinner, there was a knock at the door. He groaned and forced himself off the couch.
"Hi, can I help you?" He asked as he opened the door, stopping a bit when there was a man holding a toddler in his arms, around one year old or so. A hint of confusion crossing his face, "Uh.. hi?"
The man standing at the door looked official and serious, a weary expression on his face. TK raised an eyebrow at the “State of Texas Child Protective Services” badge on his jacket and the police belt around his waist. "Is there something I can help you with?" He asked, a bit confused. They were a childless married couple, there was no reason for the man to be standing on their doorstep of the loft.
The man nodded, bouncing the toddle in his arms as he fussed. "Yes," he began, his voice professional yet sympathetic. "I'm Officer Davis with Child Protective Services. I need to have a word with you and your husband regarding something urgent. May I come in for a moment?"
TK frowned but let the officer in, 'Babe.. there's an officer here to see us?" He called to his husband who was in the kitchen, "Please come in, take a seat." TK said to the officer.
Officer Davis nodded in thanks and stepped inside the loft, still holding the toddle in his arms. As Carlos emerged from the kitchen, he noticed the officer and raised an eyebrow in surprise.
Carlos entered the living room, a hint of confusion on his face as he followed the sound of his husband's voice. As soon as he laid eyes on the officer, his confusion deepened.
"What's going on?" he asked, as he looked between his husband and the officer.
"I.. I don't know." TK said as Carlos joined him on the opposite side of Officer Davis.
"We received a call from child custody in New York." The officer started explaining, "There was a child found left alone in an apartment building and the lease was to an Enzo Abrams."
A hint of confusion crossed TK's face, "Enzo?" He repeated, that had been his mom's boyfriend before she passed. Suddenly a hint of recognition appeared on his face, "Jonah?" He asked, looking at the toddler who had settled down and managed to fall asleep on the officers shoulder.
TK heart softened a bit at the peaceful look on the child’s face, like he didn’t have a worry in the world.. He hadn't seen him since he'd been a newborn, never having time to get back to new york with his work and family there in Austin, Texas.
But he remembered at the time how angry he'd been at the idea of a half-brother when he was nearly 30, and after his mom had passed, Enzo had gotten full custody as his biological father.
Carlos' brow furrowed, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place in his mind. He looked over at TK, sensing the recognition in his voice, and then back at Officer Davis.
"Wait, Jonah? As in... TK's half-brother?" he asked, turning to the officer for clarification.
Carlos had held Jonah before. One of Gwyn's last visits to Austin before she died. There had been a party at the 126 and he'd taken Jonah. TK remembered melting watching his boyfriend at the time holding his little half-brother.
Carlos' mind flashed back to that moment at the 126. He recalled holding Jonah, feeling the small weight of the infant in his arms, and how his heart had warmed at the sight of TK watching him with a mix of emotion.
"I remember holding him," he said quietly, the memory still vivid in his mind. He looked at the officer, his expression now solemn. "What's going on? Why is Jonah here?"
Officer Davis sighed, "We are unable to contact Enzo for a decent amount of time. And TK was listed as his next-of-kin." He explained. TK had been an only child growing up so there weren't any more siblings or other people on his mom's side.
"Before we send a child into the foster care system, we always see if a family member is willing to take them first."
TK swallowed at the conversation happening around them. He remembered the conversation they'd had before getting married where Carlos wasn't even sure he wanted kids from his own childhood. And they'd only been married a few weeks.
Carlos' eyes widened, and he exchanged a look with TK, the realization of what the officer was implying sinking in. A million thoughts raced through his mind, but one stood out above the rest: they were being asked to take in TK's half-brother, Jonah.
He took a deep breath, struggling to process the gravity of the situation. "And what happens if we say no?" he asked tentatively.
"If you decide to say no, he'll be taken back to New York for the foster care system as that's where he was initially living." The officer explained, "And since his mother is deceased and father is missing, they'll likely look for a permanent placement for him."
Carlos and TK exchanged a long, silent look, the weight of the decision heavy between them. Carlos' mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He still grappled with his own childhood experiences and the impact they had on his feelings about parenting.
TK reached out to grasp Carlos' hand, offering a silent reassurance that he wasn't alone in this.
"Can we have some time to think about it?" he asked, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside him.
Officer Davis nodded, "Of course, I'll be in town for the next few days." He said, leaving his card with the couple before heading out, shutting the door behind him.
TK looked pale, almost like he'd seen a ghost as he took a seat back on the couch, looking up at his husband. "What are we going to do?" He asked quietly. He couldn't picture leaving his half-brother in foster care but he also couldn't exactly bring a child home if Carlos didn't want a kid in their lives.
Carlos joined TK on the couch, his mind still spinning with the news. He sat down next to his husband, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"I don't know," he said truthfully, his voice soft. "I mean, this isn’t what I imagined for us, you know? I mean, I know we’ve discussed it and I was coming around on the idea but.. I figured we had plenty of time.”
For a long time, Carlos had sure he didn’t want kids. Not because he didn’t like them, he loved hanging out with his nieces and nephews as the “cool” uncle, but rather the underlaying issues from his own childhood that he was still working through. The idea of making a child feel even on accident the way he’d felt as a teenager.
He looked at TK, his expression conflicted. "But I also know how much family means to you. I don't want to make any decisions without your input."
TK nodded, resting his head on Carlos's shoulder. "I can't just send him into the foster care system." He said quietly.
"But I know you weren't sure about ever having kids." He finished, and TK could still recall that conversation. Sure, it had stung badly at the time but they'd talked it out and TK knew deep down, he'd be okay either way. He just really needed Carlos there with him.
Carlos placed a gentle hand on TK's head, his thumb soothingly stroking his hair. He knew TK was torn, the same conflicted feelings he was carrying.
"I don't want you to do something because you think it's what you have to," he said quietly. "We need to talk this through and decide together. This is a big decision, and it affects both of us." He paused, thinking about their life together, their careers and their home. "Maybe we could... trial run it?"
TK leaned into his thumb, 'Trial run it?" He repeated curiously. Adding kids into their lives was a whole different ballpark with their careers. 12 hour shifts, random shifts, the life of a first responder was never easy.
Carlos nodded, a glimmer of an idea forming in his mind. "Yeah, a trial run. We could take care of Jonah for a few days, see how we cope with everything. It'll give us a better idea of what we're signing ourselves up for."
He paused for a moment, considering all the potential implications from their careers.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just... I don't want us to make a decision without giving it a chance, you know? We might surprise ourselves. And... I can see how much this means to you."
TK nodded, "Yeah.. yeah that would be okay." He said, thinking all of it through.
"I know you don't like it hearing it but.. I think you'd be a wonderful parent." TK said. TK had been telling him it forever at this point, even before he learned Carlos wasn't sure he wanted kids. "I mean, you're good with your niece and nephews."
Carlos let out a soft sigh, a mix of uncertainty and affection on his face. He leaned into TK, resting his forehead against his.
"I've heard that a million times," he said with a hint of a smile. "But it always means more coming from you."
He paused, his heart swelling a bit at the thought of being a parent. "I just... I hope I don't screw it up. I've never been the best at handling pressure, and being a parent... that's a whole new level."
TK let out a sad chuckle, understanding all too well what Carlos meant by that.
"I've been screwing up basically my whole life," TK said. His addiction, his parent's divorce, and the overdose. It never got easier really, especially when it came to self-doubts about being good enough.
Carlos gently cupped TK's cheek, his touch tender. He hated how TK knew exactly what he meant.
"Hey," he whispered, bringing TK's attention back to him. "No matter what happens from now on, we're in this together. I'm not leaving you to do this alone, you hear me?"
TK swallowed the lump in his throat nodded, "I know.. and I don't want you to think I'm invalidating your feelings or concerns about parenthood. Because they're so valid." He said, leaning in for a small kiss, unable to help himself.
Carlos smiled against TK's lips, his heart swelling with love for the man in front of him. His reservations about parenthood were real, but he never wanted TK to feel alone in this decision.
"No, no I get it," he murmured, pulling away slightly so he could look into TK's eyes. "We're a team, remember? We face everything together. And I'm with you, no matter what we decide about Jonah."
When they pulled back, he cupped TK's face in his hands. "I know you're not, babe. And I know you wouldn't force me into something I'm not ready for. But… I also know how much your family means to you and I don't want you to have any regrets."
TK sighed, sitting back in his arms on the couch. "Where the hell is he going to sleep?" TK asked, glancing around their space. Their loft was spacious but it was a one-bedroom with an open concept. Not exactly ideal for a crib and a whole tiny one-year-old human.
Carlos let out an exhale, realizing they had a lot to figure out. He glanced around their open loft, envisioning the space with a tiny human crawling or walking around.
"That's a good question," he replied, his mind already whirring with possibilities. "We could move some things around, make room for a crib in the bedroom... but that means redecorating, right? Buying new things..” He trailed off.
"Maybe we can go shopping for a few things? Like not go crazy but the essentials? And he's one so.. that might be easier?" TK said hopefully, even if he had no idea for sure.
He'd worked with kids plenty in his career as a firefighter and EMT but working with a kid and having a kid all of his own was a big difference.
Carlos nodded, a hint of relief in his eyes. "You're right," he said, thankful that TK was taking the lead on this. "We can start with the essentials, the things he actually needs.. And if it works out, we can always add more later."
He thought for a moment, considering their budget and work schedules. "You think we could go shopping tomorrow? Since we both have the weekend off. Get stuff in order?” He offered.
TK nodded, "Yeah, tomorrow sounds good. Please tell me you managed to order pad thai before our world turned upside down?" He asked, offering a small lopsided smile. He was still starving even if his appetite had been lessened a bit by Enzo and the Jonah thing.
Carlos chuckled softly, the corner of his mouth curving into a smile. He was relieved that TK managed to keep his mind on more lighthearted topics. "Yeah, I did," he replied, standing up from the couch. "Pad Thai is on the way. I'll go wait for them to deliver it."
He turned his head to look back at TK, a hint of nervousness in his eyes. "Hey... we'll figure this out, right?"TK looked up at his husband, grateful for the reassurance even if the nerves were clear in both of their eyes.
"I know I just.. don't want this to affect us, you know? I mean it was dropped out of nowhere and.. you're the most important thing to me." He said with a sigh.
The vulnerability and honesty in TK's voice sent a wave of emotions through Carlos' heart. He knelt in front of him, taking his hands in his own.
"Hey," he said tenderly, "Nothing is going to affect us. We're solid, okay? We've been through so much together and we're still here, aren't we?"
He looked deep into TK's eyes, willing him to understand the firmness in his words. "We'll figure out the Jonah situation, but I'll always be right here with you. You're my person, TK. Nothing's going to change that."
TK's heart softened, "Damn you and your way with words." He mumbled, Carlos always had a way to make him feel soft inside, which was embarrassing. He was a grown man, he ran into burning buildings for a living.
And here he was, blushing over a little reassurance from his husband. "We're solid." He repeated even with slightly pink cheeks.
Carlos smirked, his heart swelling with affection at TK's endearing response. He reached up to cup his slightly pink cheek. He loved that he could still make TK blush even after all of their years together.
"Damn right, we're solid," he echoed, his tone filled with confidence, love and a hint of mischief. "And I'll keep reminding you until it's permanently tattooed on your brain and heart, mi amor."
TK flushed deeper at the pet name, secretly loving it when his husband spoke his native language. "I don't like you." He mumbled, not amused with Carlos's ability to get him flustered even in the most serious of situations.
Carlos let out a low chuckle, revelling in the effect he had on his husband. He knew exactly what power his Spanish words had over TK, and he loved using it to his advantage.
"Is that so?" he teased, pretending to be offended. He tilted TK's chin up, forcing him to look him in the eye.
"You sure about that, mi cariño? Because your blush says something else entirely." Carlos asked with almost a glimmer in his eyes.
If TK wasn't sure the pad thai was on its way, he would have dragged Carlos into the bedroom purely at his words.
"You don't play fair." He grumbled again, "You're going to leave me suffering over here throughout dinner when you're being all teasing and a pain." TK said. He really was starving but he refused to let his husband get the victory of winning.
Carlos smirked, seeing right through TK's attempts to resist his charm. He knew exactly how to push every one of his buttons.
"Aww, is someone needy already?" he quipped, tilting his head to the side. He slid a hand under TK's chin, tracing a finger along his jaw. "Is someone going to be good and wait for dinner like I know he can do? Can’t even handle a few spanish words and a little bit of flirting?" He teased, anything to get a reaction out of his husband.
TK’s jaw dropped at Carlos’s words, as Carlos leaned closer. "Or maybe you just like it when I drive you crazy, don't you, mi amor?"
Luckily for TK, the doorbell rang as he cleared his throat to hopefully stop the blush spreading up his neck and ears.
"Go make yourself useful and grab our dinner or something, anything to stop bothering me." He muttered even if he was too flustered himself to have any heat behind his words. He couldn’t actually be mad, sometimes he just wondered why he ended up with the most annoying, stubborn cowboy in Texas.
Carlos chuckled as he stood up, thoroughly enjoying how flustered he'd made TK. He sauntered over to the door, opening it to retrieve their food.
As he returned to the living area with the pad thai in hand, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of TK, still trying to compose himself from their earlier interaction. His husband was adorable
"Someone's a little testy tonight," he teased, setting the food down onto the table. "Can't handle a little Spanish now, mi querido?"
"Yeah, yeah.. get your flirting out now. I'm sure the mood will be killed with a toddler around here." TK huffed as he went to the kitchen and brought back two plates, sparkling water for himself and a lemonade for Carlos.
Setting the plates and drinks in their respective spots. More often than not they ended up having dinner on the couch rather than the table.
Carlos chuckled as he watched TK return with the plates and drinks. He appreciated the effort, even if it was a simple gesture.
Taking a bite of his food, he observed his husband, amused at his earlier comments about the 'mood being killed'. "You act like I can't be a charmer with a kid around," he teased. "You underestimate me, mi cariño. Besides, I’m sure we’ll find our moments. Even with a little one around here."
TK reached forward and grabbed the remote, turning their show on as they ate dinner. It was simple but nice, everything TK needed after the bombshell dropped on them. Carlos was truly his best friend.
"I wonder where the hell Enzo went." He said over dinner, "I mean we spoke a few months ago but then life got busy and you're saying he just left?"
Carlos nodded, the thought of Enzo's disappearance still a mystery to both of them. He swallowed his mouthful of food before speaking.
"Yeah, it's definitely strange. I don't think he planned it either, or he would have mentioned something. Something must have suddenly come up for him to just up and leave without saying a word to anyone."
TK sighed, he really didn't have the time to fly all the way to New York for a dead end. "I'll see if I can get ahold of him tomorrow. Tonight is pad thai and grand designs." He settled.
There was nothing he could do that late at night that he couldn't do in the morning.
"Sounds like a plan," Carlos agreed, taking another bite of his food. He knew TK well enough to know when he was winding down, and tonight was one of those nights. They didn't have to solve everything right away.
"Grand Designs and pad thai sounds perfect to me," he added, settling back into the couch, an arm wrapped around TK's shoulders. TK smiled, curling into his side as they ate and watched their show.
Sure, things were complicated. TK had no clue what would happen, if Carlos would decide he was comfortable with Jonah there or not but in that moment, he pushed it aside. They could figure everything out, they always did.
Carlos enjoyed the cosiness of the moment, the familiar weight of TK against his side, the TV quietly playing in the background. He felt the stress from the day slowly melting away, replaced by the comfort of being together.
He reached for his lemonade, taking a small sip while idly drawing soft circles on TK's shoulder with his thumb. "Hey, can I ask you something?"
TK nodded, "Of course, what's up?" He asked, moving his head just enough to look over at his husband.
Carlos paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I've been thinking... about the whole Jonah situation," he began, his voice steady and thoughtful. "I know we agreed that we'll try it out and see how it goes, but... but I just want you to know that I'm not doing this reluctantly. I want you to be happy, and I know how important this is to you."
He paused again, glancing down at TK's face. "I'm just.. I'm feeling a bit worried, you know?"
TK nodded, he knew Carlos always wanted to make him happy, the same way he did with Carlos.
"I know, and I appreciate it more than you know. And I'm not taking your concerns lightly. If you truly decide that you don't want kids, that Jonah being here would make you unhappy, we'll figure it out. Maybe my dad could help or.. we could figure it out. I'm not just going to run away if this thing doesn't work." He reassured.
Carlos nodded, the reassurance in TK’s words easing some of his worries. He knew TK could be impulsive at times, but they’d come a long way in communicating and understanding each other.
"I know you wouldn’t just run away," he said softly, his hand still gently rubbing TK’s shoulder. "We’ve worked too hard to build what we have, and I wouldn’t throw that away over something like this. But I do appreciate it, you being willing to listen and willing to figure it out together."
TK sighed as he felt Carlos's fingers digging into his shoulders. "I'm not just going to adopt him or whatever without both of us on the exact same page." TK said quietly.
"You're my husband, we're kinda legally married now. So we'll figure it out. And we'll go slow, you're not just going to be handling him alone, I'll be here and your mama, you know how much Andrea loves kids. And your family ranch." TK pointed out.
The mention of his family ranch made Carlos smile. The thought of his nieces and nephews happily running around, and maybe one more tiny body joining the mix, didn’t sound so bad.
"Yeah, you’re right," he agreed, letting out a sigh of his own. "And my mom would be over the moon, I’m sure. That big old Texas heart of hers would explode getting to shower another grandkid with gifts and attention."
TK laughed quietly, "Oh, it'd be a nightmare. We'd never be able to lay the law down after she was done spoiling them." He said.
He adored his mother-in-law, and she sometimes spoiled him even as an adult especially when it came to her homemade cooking.
Carlos chuckled, the thought of his mother’s relentless spoiling bringing a smile to his face. "She definitely has a hard time saying no," he agreed. "I still sometimes think she likes you more than me."
TK smirked, "Well, duh. What's not to like? I'm adorable." He retorted, almost amused at his antics.
Carlos rolled his eyes, but a fond smile tugged at his lips. "And humble too," he teased, poking TK's shoulder. "Don't forget humble."
"And yet, you love me." TK said, moving just a bit closer on the couch. "And you married me, so you're stuck with me. You have nobody to blame here but yourself."
Carlos slid his arm around TK's waist, pulling him closer until there wasn’t even an inch of space between them.
Oh, I'm fully aware," Carlos said, his smile growing to a grin. He pulled TK closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "I married you. I put a ring on your finger and promised to stick by you for better or for wrose. But being stuck with you isn't so bad, you know. Especially when you’re all flushed and blushing because I speak Spanish to you." He couldn’t resist the urge to tease him again.
"And you're never getting rid of me." TK pointed out, looking up at his husband. "No matter what happens, we're figuring this out." He said, he was never risking losing all of it again.
Carlos wrapped his arms around TK properly now, pulling him firmly against his chest. He tucked TK's head under his chin, his voice steady and sure.
"We are," he agreed, the words a promise as much as they were a vow. "Whatever challenges come our way, we're going to face them together. I'm not going anywhere, mi cariño. You're stuck with me just as much as I'm stuck with you."
TK settled back on the couch with a content sigh as they finished their dinner and the latest episode of their show. There were dishes to do and leftovers to put away but for that moment, he was content in the arms of the person he loved most.