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Armand buried his face in his coat, attempting to block the frigid wind. It was almost 2 AM and the snow was falling heavily on this freezing January night. He was on his way back from a hunt and while overall he was warm from fresh blood, he did not appreciate the bitter winds biting at his face. He was close to home, at least.
He slowed his pace as he approached his building. The streets were empty, the only lights on were the security lights in office buildings and the dull streetlamps, but there was a slight disturbance in this peaceful quiet. Armand came closer to the door and made note of a small lump. He bent down to investigate and gasped. There, bathed in soft amber light, was a newborn baby, wrapped only in a thin blanket. It began to wriggle and started to fuss. Armand watched it curiously for a moment, head tilting from side to side like a cat, and then he carefully picked up the bundle. He wrapped his coat around the child and cradled it, never taking his eyes off it as he went up to his floor. Now warm, the infant fell back asleep. He quietly entered his flat.
“Hey,” Daniel greeted him. Armand shushed him, eyes still glued to the small creature in his arms. Daniel groaned quietly when he realized what his maker was holding. “What, did you kill its parents and claim it as your trophy?”
Armand shot him a go-to-hell look. “No,” he said defensively, “she was abandoned outside.”
“Armand,” Daniel said exasperatedly, “what the hell are you going to do with it—sorry, her?”
“What should I have done, Daniel? Leave her to freeze to death?”
“I don’t know, take her to a fucking hospital? The police station? Anything but bring her home to be raised by monsters?”
“No, I think we’ll keep her,” Armand said in a dreamy voice, rocking the infant back and forth. He watched her with wonder and fascination as she wriggled in his arms.
“We? There’s no we. Besides, what if someone comes looking for her?”
“They should’ve thought about that before abandoning her on our doorstep,” Armand cooed. “Do you want to hold her?”
Daniel snorted. “Oh, no, no, no. I’ve fucked up two of those already. Do you even know what she eats? Have you ever changed a diaper?”
“I’ll figure it out.”
“You’ll figure it out. Sure, okay. Well, you aren’t recruiting me in this housewife fantasy you’ve got going on here. I suggest you hire a nanny.”
Armand hummed and smiled as the child wrapped her tiny hand around his pinky finger. “What should we call her?”
“You should be calling her hungry. No telling when she’s eaten last, and newborns eat about every two hours.”
Armand frowned, the reality of this situation finally – Daniel hoped – kicking in. He moved to the couch and picked up his iPad with his free hand. Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers, shaking his head. He already knew where this was going. Armand would be furiously Googling anything and everything, from baby formulas and diapers to best practices for new parents, and probably placing an emergency order from whichever pharmacy would deliver at this time of night.
“I think I like Amelia,” Armand finally said, his hand still typing away.
Daniel sighed. He wasn’t going to win this battle but he was going to fight valiantly anyway. He put a hand on Armand’s shoulder. “Armand,” he said gently, “I don’t understand why, but I know you mean well. Listen to me. The best thing you can do for this baby is give her up.”
“I don’t trust anyone else with her.”
“We’re not even human!”
“And look what humans have done to her! She would be dead if not for me. And what can they offer her? I can give her anything she could ever need or want.”
“Oh yeah, I can’t wait until she’s in college, wondering why her daddy looks like he’s her age. That will be a fun conversation – hey babe, I know I look like I’m your classmate but I’m over 500 years old! She’ll never be able to date, her peers will all think she’s banging you!”
“Enough,” Armand hissed.
“And then you’ll get to watch her die in about 90 years, Armand.”
“Enough! We’re keeping her. I said I’d figure it out.”
“That’s your plan – just wing it?”
“Yes, now leave us be if you’re going to be bitter about it.”
“I’m not bitter, I’m concerned that you can’t see the problem.”
“I’m not an idiot, and I have been around for over 500 years. I may struggle to understand societal trends but I do have a very basic understanding of human needs. So then fine, we’ll hire a nanny, as you suggested earlier, but I cannot give her back to the cruel world that rejected her.”
“This coming from a guy who hunts people for sport,” Daniel said. Armand ignored him. “How will you explain any of this to the nanny?”
“I have more money than god, Daniel. If I’ve learned nothing else in the last five centuries, I know that humans will endure a lot and in silence if they get paid well enough.”
“You gonna buy off your new daughter there, too?”
Armand was quiet and then, with a hint of sadness he said, “I will find her a mother when I find someone I deem worthy for the task. In the meantime, she’s ours.”
“Yours,” Daniel corrected. There was a knock at the door.
“That’ll be her food,” Armand said without moving.
“Sure, I’ll get it,” Daniel huffed out. He brought in bags of formula, bottles, and diapers and spread the items on a kitchen counter. “Come on, get in here. You want her, you gotta learn how to feed her yourself.” Armand stood, careful not to disturb his Amelia, and joined Daniel.
“I haven’t done this in, I don’t know, forty-something years? Let’s see,” Daniel said, turning the can of formula in his hand to find the directions. He began to make a bottle, reading the instructions aloud and making sure Armand was watching.
Within a couple of minutes, Armand was back on the couch, rocking his daughter as she fed. Daniel had to admit it was endearing, seeing this monster – in the truest sense of the word – bottle-feeding the tiniest and most fragile of humans with utmost care and patience. Pity the fool who ever tries to harm this little one, he thought. They’ll have no fucking clue what they’re getting into.
“Keep it up, Armand, and everyone will discover your secret – that you really do have a heart.”
“Admit it, you like her.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t, I just won’t be playing Daddy 2.0.”
“We’ll see,” Armand said softly. He put the bottle down and shifted Amelia so he could burp her.
“Whatever,” Daniel laughed.
Days went by and a nanny was hired – only part time because “she’s delicate” and “I don’t think it’s necessary for someone to be here all the time. We can handle this on our own.” Daniel was amused by the constant pouting any time Armand was forced to set down his daughter. He was also impressed by how calm Armand was, never flustered by the infant’s crying or fussing. He always expected to come home to a scene straight out of a comedy, in which a new, young father was overwhelmed and ready to give up parenthood for good but even when he could hear the child screaming down the hallway, he would come home to find Armand cradling her with infinite patience. Daniel suspected he enjoyed experimenting with different methods to soothe her. He didn’t dare ask.
After two weeks, it was Armand’s turn to be amused. For all of Daniel’s groaning about not wanting to be a father again, it didn’t take long for the younger vampire to grow attached. His Amelia was hungry, why hadn’t Armand made her bottle yet? It was his turn to hold her while they watched a movie.
Armand grinned at him triumphantly. “I knew she’d have you wrapped around her tiny little finger.” Daniel didn’t reply beyond an mhm. “I think we’re going to make a lovely family.”
“Oh yeah,” Daniel said with light sarcasm, “we’re a perfect picture of domesticity.”