Chapter Text
Stanford stood alone in the crumbling ruins of Gravity Falls. His shack was the only thing left standing, and even that was dilapidated and empty. In his hands was some kind of journal or diary. Reading it, he had learned that what happened here was a simple tragedy, a few small, human mistakes, that snowballed into the erasure of everyone he's ever known or loved. Well... almost everyone. "Heya Fordsy!" A chillingly cheery voice called out from behind him. "Finally done screaming? I'm surprised you stopped before your voice gave out!"
"There's no one to blame." Ford said simply and quietly, almost to himself
The demon, the triangle, Bill, circled around to in front of him, then nodded and hummed like he was agreeing. "Yeah, that really sucks! If there's no one responsible it's impossible to get revenge!" He twiddled his thumbs for a moment. "So... What are you going to do now?"
Ford looked up at the glow of yellow coming from the eyes of a bird. At one point he'd wanted to kill the demon, had dedicated his whole life to tracking him down and making him pay. At one point the sight of yellow eyes made his blood begin to boil, but now he felt... nothing, empty. "I don't know." He said honestly. It was hard to feel excited about being back on Earth when all his favorite parts of it were gone.
"Well, if you don't have any ideas, I have a few!" Bill cooed out in a singsong voice, clearly excited. Ford just stared with a blank look on his face. "How about you boot up that portal so I can come over? You can join me on my galactic conquest! I could give you power and immortality and the secrets of the universe! It'd be fun!"
Ford looked down again, back at the book, with a confused look on his face. "I just found out my whole family is dead, how could I possibly have fun??" It was the most emotion he'd spoken with since Bill appeared.
The demon gave a dramatic and dismissive wave with a wing. "Please, a little taste of power and a few hundred years and you'll forget all about them! As soon as you get rid of those pesky human emotions you'll have a blast! I promise!"
Ford looked up to the triangle, now bird, with an expression the demon hadn't seen in a long time. "Really? You promise?" His eyes were getting watery.
The sight excited Bill immensely, he just had to give a good finisher. His bird flew over and landed on Ford's shoulder, putting a wing around his head in what he'd observed was a comforting gesture. He took on a slightly more serious tone as well. "Really. I promise. You know how much I care about having a good time, I just want you to have a good time too, happy and by my side."
Ford's eyes and voice were empty and defeated as he replied. "Okay, sure. Deal."
Fixing up the portal was hard work, but all the complicated parts had been done already, and he had over thirty years of experience, so Ford was able to mostly shut his brain off and focus on work. It wasn't fun, but it kept him moving. Besides, Bill's promises were for later. So he worked and worked and soon Bill was in front of him. He couldn't bring himself to be amazed. Bill noticed. "Alright, alright, let's get you those powers, then we can watch my henchmaniacs go wild!" He shot out his flaming hand for a handshake and Ford took it immediately.
Bill Cipher was elated. Weirdmageddon was off to a great start and he was showing Ford everything. There was a small issue at first with a kind of weirdness barrier, but Ford fixed that no big deal. After that, it was tours of rampant destruction, grand temples, and the torture of the populace. They were treated like gods, and they partied even harder. Ford was disoriented, at first, by the swirls of flashing lights and eclectic music pumped through the party rooms, but he got used to it, just like he got used to everything else. Still, that skip in his step from their younger years didn't return, not really.
"Hey Sixer, getting bored of the show?" Bill asked when he had slid up next to him at the bar, elbowing him in jest.
"Bill..." Ford said, looking towards his new companion. "It's not bad, just not feeling it I guess."
"Why don't you destroy them? Make way for something new? Did you want me to do it?" The idea was very flattering.
"No, I just wanted to sit for a while, I don't need to ruin everyone else's fun to do that."
"Ah, I see. Wanna ditch these losers and do something else then?" Bill asked excitedly.
"I dunno." Ford replied. He had barely stopped staring into nothingness.
Bill glared for a moment. "How about we get some alcohol in you, you need to loosen up a bit! Let yourself enjoy things!" He snapped his fingers and a half dozen different drinks appeared on the counter between them. "What do you want, something sweet and fruity? Something classy? Something quick and dirty? We got anything and everything."
"I don't really drink." Ford protested lightly, more habit than anything else.
"Why not? You want to keep your liver healthy? You're immortal now! I could crush your liver between my palms and nothing would happen!"
"I suppose you're right." Ford hesitated, his hand hovering in between the drinks. He was still most used to using his hands. Eventually he picked up what looked like a whiskey sour and downed it in one go.
"Yeah! Attaboy!" Bill cheered. "What do you think?"
"Mm, tastes better than I expected." Ford replied, nodding and remembering he could make the empty glass in his hand disappear. With little further hesitation he grabbed the wine glass, mildly hoping it wasn't blood. It wasn't.
"Now you're feeling it!" Encouraged Bill, making a glass of bourbon appear in his own hand and taking a sip. When he finished he leaned an elbow on the table. "You want to call some of the others over to join our drinking party?"
Ford finished a mouthful of wine before he replied. "Eh, I'd rather not, some of them can be a bit..." Unsure the right word, he distracted himself by finishing off the glass of wine.
Bill laughed. "I know what you mean!" Before he forgot he waved his hand and put up a minor sound barrier around them. "They're all weirdos, and like, that's why they're here, but sometimes it gets in my way, y'know? And don't even get me started on the drama!"
Ford smiled, amused, so Bill did start talking about their drama. Ford mostly just watched and listened as he went through the drinks Bill had summoned for him one by one. When he had finished all of them he was definitely drunk. "Wait, what was that one drink?" Ford interrupted suddenly, catching Bill a little off guard. "It was red, and there was a lime or something? It was cold."
"The watermelon margarita slushie?" Bill asked, amused by his drunken stupor. "You remember you can summon something you've already seen, right?"
"Right, I'm no longer human!" Ford said, sitting up a little straighter. With great concentration he snapped his fingers and the drink from earlier appeared in front of him, albeit a bit larger. "Aha!"
Bill snickered affectionately, taking a sip of the bourbon that he'd been refilling intermittently while Ford had some of his cocktail. He'd gotten derailed from his train of thought and didn't care to get back on it. "See, look at you, having fun like this, isn't this great!" He said.
"Mm, yeah, I feel so... different." Ford said. "They say alcohol inhibits the human brain, makes it more sluggish, but my mind feels clearer than it has in a while." His awed tone was so cute that Bill decided not to point out that he was slurring his words a bit. "I haven't done any research in so long, why haven't I? I- I need to get to work, I have so much to do, so many things to document. By golly, the whole world is at my fingertips. Literally!"
Bill chuckled along with Ford, who was getting out of his seat and walking in a possibly random direction. Bill followed, floating so they were still on eye level. "I need a notebook, a pen!" This was the Ford Bill remembered, and he was giddy to have him back. He watched as Ford summoned a journal, a copy of his iconic set, but with the number four written on the front, as well as a pen, and began writing. "So much has happened, I don't even know where to start!"
Ford was muttering to himself as Bill floated over to look over his shoulder. He'd gotten started on a sort of introduction page, trying to write in cursive at first, though he quickly gave up, scribbling out the indecipherable loops and replacing it with standard print. Bill was practically smiling, very proud of himself and trying not to interrupt his fun. Looking around, Ford had walked them through a few different portals, apparently trying to subconsciously(?) figure out where to go. Bill closed up the portals behind them as they settled in a room of the fearamid with a desk and chair. Sitting hunched apparently helped Ford write more effectively, and soon he had stood up, slamming the book closed with a decisive noise.
"Finished up the intro Sixer?" Bill said excitedly. Ford jumped a little, as if he had forgotten Bill was there, but relaxed quickly and nodded. "Well where do you want to go first? I saved all the best spots for you, not just the libraries, but the Amazon, the Sahara desert, the bottom of most oceans of course. Ooh, you never learned what happened to the Titanic, did you? Or Atlantis?"
Every single suggestion made Ford light up, making Bill beam with pride. "Ooh, ooh, where first..." He thought out loud before taking another sip of the margarita he'd been telepathically floating along with them. "It doesn't really matter, right? We have all the time in the world!"
"That's the spirit!" Bill encouraged.