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Cora stares down at the pan full of fried rice in front of him so hard its a wonder it hasn’t been set ablaze from the intensity of it. He stirs the rice in a jerky motion to make sure it doesn’t burn. He needs to focus on dinner, he reminds himself. He doesn’t need to be distracted thinking about the phone burning a hole in his back pocket. Nope, he’s definitely not thinking about it.
He’s just thinking about not burning dinner.
For a second he manages to focus on the food for long enough that he forgets about the dilemma that’s been haunting him for the better part of the last month and a half. Yes, he can believe for just a split second that everything is normal, that he’s making a meal for him and his boyfriend while they wait for his two lovely adopted children to come home after work and their own respective meal plans, and there’s definitely no elephant in the room, no sir-
It all crashes down the second he feels a vibration from his back pocket.
Cora nearly upends the pan as his entire body reflexively flinches. In fact, he does manage to spill some of it in the half-aborted motion, rice and vegetables falling out onto the edge of the stove. He can barely pay it any mind though, dread creeping into the pit of his stomach as he’s forcefully reminded of his phone.
Maybe he just imagined it, he thinks desperately. He’d seen an article the other day about phantom vibrations that people felt when they got too conditioned to constantly checking their phones. Maybe that was happening to him. He’d probably just been using his phone so much lately that it was starting to make him jumpy.
His boyfriend had recommended before that he put his phone somewhere else whenever he was busy so he wouldn’t get distracted. It was a safer option, honestly, considering that when Cora got distracted he also tended to get a bit… clumsy. After the third time he’d set himself on fire - a small, mostly controlled fire! - making food he’d admitted that the other had a point.
But what if there was an emergency? Sure, Lami and Law were both grown adults who were perfectly capable of handling most issues without his assistance, but Cora was determined to always be there for them no matter how old they got. Surely the least he could do as a good parent was keep his phone on him, right?
But then there was the whole…
He steadily avoids thinking about the elephant in the room once more, though he can feel its beady little eyes on his back. Or big eyes right? Actually, how big were elephants’ eyes? Surely they had to be at least-
His phone vibrates again, yanking Cora out of the meandering thought path he’d desperately followed in an attempt not to think about his phone.
Cora glares down at the fried rice as if his recent predicament is its fault. He definitely couldn’t write it off as a phantom sensation now that he’d felt it for the second time. He gives up on trying to focus on dinner and moves the pan of fried rice to a back burner before turning the burner he’d been using off. It was pretty much done frying anyway.
For a second Cora stands there, deliberating whether he really wants to check his phone. It was probably just a text from one of his kids saying they were leaving work. He doubts it’s anything too important. The elephant in the room stomps its feet impatiently.
He’s not going to check it.
He’s not going to check it.
He’s not going to-
Well, maybe just a glance at the push notification. If it’s a text message then he’ll know for sure if it’s something he can safely ignore. It’ll just take a second. It’s not a big deal.
Cora’s grip on the spatula tightens as his free hand moves to his back pocket and pulls the phone from it. He hesitates mid-motion, phone dangling at his side.
“Don’t be a coward,” Cora mutters.
He knows he’s being ridiculous. He’s a trained and decorated military sniper with dozens of successful missions under his belt. He went undercover for over a decade in his own brother’s underground criminal empire before managing to blow the whole thing wide open. He’d even faced off with his older brother in a warehouse shootout before backup showed up and arrested his brother. Hell, he’d adopted two kids and raised them for over a decade, which was somehow even more nerve-racking than the shootout could ever be.This didn’t even crack the top one hundred most stressful moments of his life.
Cora nods, steeling himself as he tightens his grip on his phone. He’s a capable adult. He can do this. He raises the phone to his face, the screen flicking on automatically. Cora’s heart drops as he sees the recognizable bank app symbol at the top of his push notifications with Law’s name at the beginning of it.
Alright, maybe he can’t do this.
Cora never used to monitor his children’s bank accounts. Even though he’d had to register both of their accounts under his name and was in the middle of the needlessly complicated process of separating them now that they were both adults and slowly coming off his insurance, he’d never wanted to be the kind of parent that hovered over their children and kept tabs on every cent they spent. He wanted to be the cool dad, always there to help them out if they made a mistake, but also willing to let them carve their own paths in life.
And that’s how it had been…up until a month and a half ago.
“Maybe it’s just groceries,” Cora mutters, staring at his phone until it automatically darkens again. He swipes his phone open, knowing deep down he’s just in denial. His fears are confirmed the second he taps open his banking app and sees the recent transaction history on Law’s account.
Germaid Cafe 66 [Deluxe Sparking Meal Set A]
Germaid Cafe 66 [Lovely Heart Meal Set B]
“God damn it,” Cora says aloud, the words echoing around the empty kitchen. He’s not usually one to swear, but he thinks this particular situation calls for it.
And there it is, the bane of Cora’s existence for the past month and a half. Not for the first time that week Cora curses every single person involved with the creation and installation of the limited time Sora: Warrior of the Sea pop-up maid cafe (featuring the commanders of Germa 66!). If he ever met who was behind it… well, he’s not sure what he’d do, but in this moment he knows he has a few strong and potentially incriminating words for them.
Part of him briefly feels guilty for having such resentment for a comic series that Lami and Law both grew up loving. He knows that it was one of the few things that brought them together after they’d been separated by their parents’ deaths and respective terrible experiences in the foster care system. Maybe he was being ungenerous considering he knew what a special place the series still held for both of them.
It wasn’t like it was a bad series (blatant military propaganda and over commercialization aside). It was a bit cheesy in its overdone portrayals of its heroic main character and the lessons in it about justice and morality were about as deep as a puddle, but nothing in it was explicitly harmful. In fact, it was fun sometimes to see the collector’s editions on the shelves in the living room or the hang up the old Warrior of the Sea ornaments on the the holidays. There really was no reason for him to-
His phone pings again.
Germaid Cafe 66 [Special Warrior of the Sea Dessert Photo Op]
Yeah, okay, Cora was going to burn that stupid cafe to the ground.
He lets out an aggrieved sigh and contemplates throwing his phone into the garbage disposal. There was no issue with the cafe in theory, it’s just the effect it’s had on Law ever since. Cora regrets ever mentioning the article he saw about it online since that had been what had prompted his son to check the restaurant out in the first place. Cora had thought the other would just return with some funny story, maybe some complaints about how inaccurate the costumes were to their comic counterparts (Law had always been a stickler for authenticity), or how overpriced the food was.
What he hadn’t expected was for Law to come back strangely quiet with a flyer for the cafe in hand. And what he definitely hadn’t expected was for Law to start going to the cafe regularly, to the point where the other was frequenting the establishment on a near daily basis. And what Cora completely hadn’t expected was for Law to become very obviously and earnestly obsessed with one of the cafe’s employees.
God, where did Cora go wrong? He followed all the steps in the parenting books-!
To Law’s credit, it wasn’t like he was the worst customer that frequented those kinds of cafes. Cora had seen horror stories on the news and online of the employees of maid and similarly themed cafes being stalked to their homes, harassed while working, and even assaulted by customers who couldn’t recognize boundaries. He’d never heard about that kind of behavior from Law, which was something. Maybe the bare minimum, but still something.
It was just…
Law was a renowned surgeon, one of the most well known in the country, and by virtue had a very comfortable amount of disposable income. Normally Cora would be proud to tell everyone he knew about how successful and competent Law was, but now it was stressful for him to watch as Law steadily spent a good chunk of his checking account on this overpriced maid nonsense. It didn’t help that usually all the boy had to show for it afterwards were Polaroid photos and cafe branded merchandise.
Germaid Cafe 66 [Happy Cheering Maid Meet and Greet]
Cora swears he can feel his eye twitching as the next transaction rolls in. It’s not even that Law can’t afford all the nonsense he purchases, he definitely can, it’s just the frequency of it and fixation on it doesn’t feel healthy.
Then again, wasn’t it normal to have hobbies? Was this considered a hobby?
Law could certainly be doing worse things, Cora reasons. It’s not like he’s getting into fights or staying out late. He’s not coming home reeking of alcohol or getting mixed up with all the wrong people. God knows that’s a blessing considering how bad Cora’s brother messed Law up before Cora could get him out of that situation. It could be a lot worse. It could be- It could be-
“Smells good,” Katakuri, freshly changed into his normal evening loungewear, walks into the kitchen, “Do you want me to set the-“
“It’s not drugs!” Cora blurts, turning to his boyfriend with a wide eyed, vaguely manic expression.
For a moment Katakuri just stands there, blinking at him, before his eyes travel to the pan of fried rice and then back to Cora’s face. “…I would hope not.”
Cora blanches, waving his hands and nearly sending his phone flying. “No, I mean, I just- Law!”
“Ah,” Katakuri’s expression clears slightly.
“It’s just, it’s good he’s got a hobby and it’s not drugs!” Cora says, wincing at how that probably clarifies literally nothing.
Katakuri, amazing boyfriend that he is, still grasps what Cora is trying to say. “Is this about the cafe again?”
Cora exhales loudly. “Yeah.” God knows he’s talked his boyfriend’s ear off about it over the last month and a half.
Katakuri crosses the kitchen and gently takes the spatula from Cora’s grasp. He stirs the fried rice a little and nods. “Well, at least dinner is done. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on as we set the table.”
“Alright,” Cora says gratefully.
They begin their practiced routine of pulling down plates, cups and silverware as Cora laments Law’s steadily draining bank account to his boyfriend. Katatkuri listens and makes noises of agreement in all the right places, but mostly just lets Cora ramble. By the time the last fork is set, Cora’s feeling a lot better, and he gives his boyfriend a hug.
“Thanks for letting me go on,” Cora says.
“It’s no trouble,” Katakuri replies, “Though it sounds like you might need to speak with your son again.”
“I’ve tried,” Cora says, “Three times at this point. I don’t think I’m going to be able to get through to him on this one.”
“I see,” Katakuri’s brow furrows, “Then perhaps one of his friends might be able to?”
Cora blinks. “Actually… that’s not a bad idea. Law might listen to one of them instead of me. I’m just his dad.”
“Who he still respects,” Katakuri points out, “But yes, I’ve found that sometimes with my younger siblings having someone closer to their age speak to them is more effective than lecturing them myself.”
“You’re a genius,” Cora beams, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.
“Hardly,” Katakuri mutters, flushing.
“Accept the compliment,” Cora says with a wave of his hand as he pulls out his phone again. He’s relieved to see that he does, in fact, have one of Law’s friends’ numbers saved in his contacts. “Maybe Law can have some sense talked into him yet.”
“You know, even if it isn’t drug related, this still feels like an intervention,” Katakuri says with some humor.
“At this point he needs it,” Cora says, hitting send. “I don’t wish he was using drugs, but at least there are programs for that. There’s nothing out there for maid cafe addicts.”
“Is it truly that serious?” Katakuri asks as they both sit down at the table.
Cora’s phone pings again.
Germaid Cafe 66 [Shining Love Heart Event]
Cora laughs without humor. “Oh, it’s that serious.”
Penguin swallows uncomfortably as he fiddles with the bright pink napkin on the table. He’s all but ripped it to shreds at this point (and feels mildly guilty about the mess he’ll be leaving behind for the wait staff once the leave), but it’s the only thing that’s keeping him sane at the current moment. The sound of someone’s throat clearing makes him look up, and he immediately regrets it as he locks eyes with Shachi across the table.
‘You know what you have to do,’ Shachi’s expression seems to say as he raises an eyebrow at Penguin over the rim of his cup. The other jerks his head toward Law.
Said person isn’t paying them the slightest bit of attention, not that it’s surprising given the current location. Penguin’s pretty sure nothing short of a bomb going off under their table could get Law to look away from the object of his affections.
Penguin scowls back. ‘Why don’t you do it?’
‘Cora asked you to do it,’ Shachi’s sniff says. ‘Stop being a coward.’
‘You’re one to talk,’ Penguin leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.
“Uh, why are you guys making those faces?” Bepo asks, drawing both their attention to him. He immediately wilts under their combined gazes. “Sorry.”
Normally Penguin might laugh at the sight of Bepo in all his oversized glory crammed with the three of them around the tiny table in the middle of the bright pink and white cafe - his bulky frame barely fitting on one of the tiny chairs and knees knocking into the underside of the table with even the slightest movement - but at that moment Penguin can’t even muster up a smile.
“Bepo,” Penguin says casually, since addressing him is leagues easier than looking at Law. “Do you think we’ve been coming here a lot lately?”
“Huh?” Bepo asks, glancing around, “I mean, maybe. Law seems to like it though…”
“And why do you think Law likes it here?” Shachi snorts, “It sure as shit ain’t the food.”
“I think the food’s fine,” Bepo glances down at the remains of the omurice that once sat on the plate before him.
“It’s expensive,” Penguin points out.
“Law usually pays- ah!” Bepo blanches, “Should we be offering to pay?”
“Hell no,” Shachi says, “The meals here are practically thirty bucks! You think I’m gonna pay for that shit?!”
“But it’s not fair if Law always-“
“Law makes about twenty times what all of us do,” Shachi deadpans, “You could ask that man to buy you a brand new car and it’d barely make a dent in his salary.”
Bepo frowns. “But-"
“That’s not the point I’m trying to make,” Penguin cuts in before they can get too off topic. I was just wondering if, you know, you might have noticed why Law likes coming here. If not the food.”
“Oh!” Bepo glances at Law, who still hasn’t looked over the entire time this conversation has been happening. His face screws up. “Uh, didn’t he say he likes the comic?”
“Yes,” Penguin draws out the word, “But have you ever known him to repeatedly keep going somewhere just because he’s a little fond of the theming?”
“Huh, I guess not,” Bepo allows, “Sorry.”
“Try again,” Shachi snorts, popping one of the tiny sweets on his plate into his mouth.
Bepo’s mouth sets in a determined line. “The decorations?”
“As if Law has any eye for aesthetics that aren’t his tattoos,” Penguin deadpans.
“The music?”
“You can barely hear that J-pop garbage over the noise,” Shachi points out.
“The…” Bepo’s head whips around the tiny cafe. “The people.” Both Penguin and Shachi just let that one sit there, and Bepo deflates as even he can acknowledge that Law definitely wouldn’t go somewhere for the prospect of additional human interaction. “Is it…?”
“It’s because he’s being a fucking creep!” Shachi blurts, finally losing his temper. He kicks the leg of Law’s chair as he says it, finally getting Law to respond.
“Wha- the hell do you want, Shachi?” Law snaps.
Shachi freezes then, glaring at Penguin. “You made me do that, you bastard.”
Penguin grins back widely. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“What are you all talking about?” Law still looks annoyed, which unfortunately is better than he had been looking earlier.
“Law isn’t a creep!” Bepo immediately defends the other.
“You think I’m a creep?” Law scowls.
“I think you’re being creepy at least!” Shachi says, finally leaning into it. “You’ve been staring at that goddamn maid ever since we walked in!”
“I-“
“And this isn’t the first time either!” Shachi barrels on, “You’ve been doing it every time we come here! Every time! At this rate we’ll be lucky if we don’t get a restraining order with our receipt!”
Law looks more alarmed than angry now. “I wouldn’t- it’s not like I’m bothering him! I don’t interfere with his work!”
“No, you just stare at him unblinking with your mouth open like some kind of goddamn panty sniffer,” Penguin finally jumps in.
“I wouldn’t,” Law pauses, “Do you think he’s actually wearing panties under the dress?”
“Law!” Shachi bellows, kicking the other’s chair again, “Do you not hear how fucking unhinged you sound?!”
“Shit, okay, that one was over the line,” Law allows, shoving the other’s leg away.
“I should fucking say so!”
“Is everything alright over here, masters?”
All four of them look up to see a man with bright blue hair in one of the cafe maid dresses standing next to their table. He’s smiling widely, but the look in his eyes says that he’s mentally wishing every sort of horrible pain possible upon them. Penguin can see that the man’s grip on his serving tray is so tight that his knuckles are turning white.
“We’re fine, Niji” Penguin says quickly, “Just got too heated in our discussion.” Penguin already knows the man’s name, and he hates that he does because they’ve been coming here so often that they’re on a first name basis, real first name basis, with all the wait staff.
“Sorry!” Bepo adds.
“I see,” Niji says, “Well, we ask that you try and respect our other customers, masters!” There’s an underlying threat there that sends a shiver down Penguin’s back.
“Of course,” Shachi says weakly.
“Great! Do you all need anything else?” Niji asks.
“No, we’re-“
“Can we get the mystery draw box?” Law jumps in.
“No, no, no!” Shachi snaps, “Not that shit again!”
“It’s my money!” Law huffs, “And I want the mystery box!” Shachi looks to Penguin, but all Penguin can offer him is a resigned half-shrug. Shachi throws his hands up in frustration, but ultimately leans back in his chair in sullen silence.
Niji finally drops some of the act and deadpans, “Should I even ask what maid you want to serve you?”
“I think you know,” Penguin replies, rubbing a hand down his face.
Niji cackles at his despondent expression. “Yeah, yeah, hang on.” He turns around, skirts swishing with the motion, and calls. “Sparking Red! The master here wants to use the mystery drawing!” A maid with bright red hair who’s been the subject of Law’s fixation for the last month, turns around from where he’s wiping down a table.
Despite the circumstances, Penguin has eyes and he can at least admit that he understands Law’s taste. Sparking Red, Ichiji as Penguin has come to learn, is a handsome man and somehow he makes the frilly black and white maid outfit work for him. He’s even wearing a cute pair of cat ears today, something which Penguin is sure has only heightened the other’s appeal to his dumbstruck friend.
Penguin’s not questioning Law’s taste, it’s hard to deny Ichiji’s attractiveness, but the way the other goes about it…
“You’re making the face again,” Shachi says. Lightning quick he pulls out his phone and snaps a photo of Law’s expression.
“Wh- I’m not making a face,” Law immediately defends.
In response Shachi turns his phone around to show the photo he took a split second ago. Penguin snorts at Law’s vacant, dumbstruck expression on screen. Law balks at it.
“I wasn’t ready for the photo,” he defends weakly.
“That’s the point,” Shachi replies. “You look like you’re about to commit some crime we’ll all end up on the evening news for. And you stare at him like that all the goddamn time.”
“I do not,” Law insists. His eyes slide toward Bepo. “Bepo, back me up.”
“Um, uh, you don’t look like that, Law!” Bepo lies unconvincingly.
“Don’t lie, Bepo,” Shachi hisses.
Bepo’s eyes dart between Law and Shachi in a panic. “Sorry, uh, sorry!” He leans over the table to grab one of Penguin’s chicken skewers and shove in his mouth to avoid speaking any further.
“Hey!” Penguin protests, looking down at his now empty plate. He opens his mouth to argue with Bepo some more only to be interrupted.
“Masters, I heard one of you wanted to do the mystery drawing?”
The table looks up to see the maid of Law’s dreams standing next to the table, a bright pink box with a hole cut in the top in hand. Immediately Law stiffens in his seat, shoulders going rigid as he swallows convulsively.
“Y-yes, we did request that,” Law finally manages after an awkward pause.
Penguin rolls his eyes. This was the same man that could be completely unfazed at the prospect of a six-hour open heart surgery, but the moment he was faced with a pretty boy in a dress he was completely tongue-tied. Penguin side-eyes the sign on the side of the box that reads ‘Super Secret Mystery Drawing $8! Win a chance for a special song, photo, or signed postcard of your favorite maid!’
“Since you’ve been here before, you probably know our routine for the mystery box then, right?” Ichiji asks brightly. To Ichiji’s credit, he does act completely professional, and if Penguin didn’t know any better he could swear the other was actually happy to be waiting on them.
“Yes, yeah,” Law mumbles.
“Great!” Ichiji doesn’t look thrown off by Law’s demeanor in the slightest, possibly because he’s had to deal with it nearly every day for the past month and a half. “Repeat after me then! Love, love, beaaaaaam!”
The maid does a cutesy wink and finger gun to complement the words. Penguin wonders if the other dies a little inside every time he does it. He kind of hopes he does considering Penguin feels a bit like doing so. Law, however, is as entranced as always.
“L-love, love beam,” Law mutters under his breath, doing a sad approximation of Ichiji’s pose. It had been funny the first couple times Penguin had seen it. Now it’s just a little sad.
“Amazing!” Ichiji says, smiling as if that weren’t the worst thing he’s ever seen in his life.
“Was it though?” Shachi deadpans, only to nearly get knocked out of his chair as Bepo kicks it. “Ow!”
“Be nice!” Bepo scolds, only to wilt under Shachi’s answering glare. “Sorry.”
Ichiji is unfazed by any of this as he holds out the pink box to Law. “Please take a card, master!”
Penguin watches resignedly as Law jerkily lifts one of his hands to dig through the box. A second later he pulls out a bright pink card with the cafe’s logo stamped on the back. He flips it around and Penguin can read ‘One Free Photo with Maid of Choice!’ in blocky black letters.
“Congratulations!” Ichiji says, “Please turn in your card when you check out so you can get your photo!”
“Thanks,” Law says. Penguin can see the back of his neck burning.
“Thank you, master!” Ichiji says, flouncing away from their table with the faint scent of strawberry perfume trailing behind him.
Penguin takes a long sip of his overpriced kiwi and strawberry juice as he watches his friend’s brain melt out of his ears. He gives Shachi a glance over the table, and the other just huffs in response.
“You’re doing that thing with your faces again,” Bepo says, looking between them.
“That’s because he’s doing that thing with his face,” Shachi says, clicking his fingers in front of Law’s dumbstruck expression.
“Huh?” Law manages. He looks well and truly out of it, like he always does after any one-on-one encounter with Ichiji.
“At least he’s harmless?” Penguin finally says.
“You gonna tell Cora that?” Shachi challenges.
“I think he knew it was going to end in failure when he texted me,” Penguin says.
“Wait, did Cora ask you two to do something for Law?” Bepo asks, “Why didn’t he ask me?”
“You’re too soft on him,” Shachi replies, “And also I think he only has Penguin’s number.”
Law blinks slowly. “…Cora?”
“Not a drop of alcohol and he’s still this fucked up,” Shachi mutters. He pushes his chair back and Penguin mirrors him. “Alright, lover boy. Time to go home.”
Law finally seems to jolt back to awareness. “But my picture-!”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get it on the way out,” Penguin says, “Finish up the table, Bepo.”
“Aye aye!” Bepo scarfs down the remaining food on the table before hurriedly standing up as well. Penguin and Shachi move to either side of Law and hoist the man to his feet.
“Hey, I can walk you know,” Law protests as they frog march him to the counter.
“Don’t want to risk you getting side tracked by the gift shop again,” Penguin says.
“When have I ever-?”
“Yesterday,” Penguin says preemptively.
“And two days before that,” Shachi adds.
“And another day before-“
“I get it!” Law snaps, though he looks more embarrassed than anything. At least, Penguin thinks, there’s still some amount of shame still swimming around in there.
That small bit of shame dies a quick death though as they near the register. The maid currently manning it, Yonji if Penguin remembers correctly, grins at them. “Did you enjoy your- oh, hey! It’s you four!”
“We’re back,” Penguin says dryly.
Yonji laughs. “I think you guys are probably our best customers.”
“Not voluntarily,” Shachi adds.
“Ah, yeah, I think Law here is why Ichiji is always first place in our weekly sales,” Yonji acknowledges. “So your total will be, oh, you did the mystery box, right?”
“Yeah,” Law hands the card he’d drawn from the box over to the cashier.
“Great, let me add that on then!” Yonji punches a few numbers into his register.
The amount he reads off afterwards is enough to have Penguin cringing in horror, but Law doesn’t even bat an eye as he hands over his credit card. Thank god Law always paid for all their food. As much as Penguin and Shachi bitched about this place, it was nice to be getting so many free meals lately… at least, it would be if it didn’t come with the knowledge that Law was probably wasting half of his very sizable paycheck at this place.
Penguin decides to try one final time so he could honestly tell Cora he gave it a shot. “Hey Law, maybe we should cut back on-“
“Thanks, let me call Ichiji out for you then!” Yonji says, handing Law’s card back.
Penguin trails off, already knowing that Law isn’t paying him the slightest bit of attention now that Ichiji’s involved. Honestly he didn’t stand a chance in the first place, but at least his conscience is clear. Shachi pats him on the shoulder sympathetically as they watch Law nearly trip over his own shoes to get in front of the picturesque backdrop set up in a corner of the maid cafe.
Ichiji seems to have been anticipating this, not that Penguin is surprised, as he’s moving into place the second Law gets settled. Penguin sighs internally as Ichiji wraps one arm around Law’s waist and brings the other up to form half a heart with his hand. Law shakily brings up his own hand to complete the heart shape.
“Alright!” Yonji says, holding up a polaroid camera, “Say ‘Germaid’!”
“Germaid!” Ichiji smiles brightly.
“G-germaid…” Law looks vaguely like he’s being held at gunpoint.
There’s a flash of light and the camera snaps, and then there’s the quiet whir of a Polaroid photo being churned out. Yonji fans the Polaroid a few times before sliding it into a small pink envelope and handing it to Law.
“Thank you for taking a photo with me, master!” Ichiji says, stepping away from the photo area. He bows once to Law before heading back out onto the dining floor. Law stares after him like an idiot.
“Uh…” Yonji says, clearly not knowing how to get Law moving.
“We got him,” Penguin says. He and Shachi move to Law’s sides once more to herd the man out of the photo area and toward the cafe’s doors. “Thanks, Yonji.”
“No problem. See you guys soon!” Yonji waves to them as they head back out onto the busy streets.
Almost immediately it’s like the whole world around them shifts, no longer covered with bright pink heart shaped decorations with the sound of shitty J-pop in the background. Instead it’s all been replaced with the normal clamor of cars horns and people rushing past them on their way home for dinner. Despite how many times Penguin’s been to the cafe in the past month in a half, it’s still jarring every time they leave.
“Time to head home, Law,” Shachi says.
Penguin’s grateful that they all live relatively close together so they can make sure their friend and de facto group leader doesn’t end up spacing out so badly he walks into traffic. He’s not sure how he’d explain to Cora that his son got hit by a truck because he was thinking too hard about maids.
“At least it’s only for another month and a half,” Shachi says later as they’re chilling in their own apartment eating a hearty supplementary meal of ramen noodles (the cafe portions were always too tiny to be called a full dinner).
“I’m sure Law’s bank account will be relieved,” Penguin snorts.
“Who knows? Maybe Law will manage to win his maid over in that time,” Shachi says.
There’s a beat of silence before they both burst out laughing. Yeah. Like that would happen.
Law tries not to let the disappointment set in as he stares up at the familiar bubbly letters of Germaid 66. There was less than a week left before the pop-up cafe closed, and he would definitely be missing the routine he’d fallen into in the past three months. He knows its silly to feel so sad about an establishment that had always been temporary, but he can’t help it. In many ways he’d come to love the little cafe, even with its overpriced food and eye-searing decoration, and it’s hard to see it go.
It doesn’t help that he didn’t have anyone to visit the cafe with this time to offset his melancholy. Shachi and Penguin had gotten caught up in late shifts at the hospital, and Bepo off visiting his brother. Law tries to comfort himself with the knowledge that all of them had sworn to join him on the last day of the cafe’s existence. He’d even been given a special reservation for that day, so he guesses that all that money he’d ended up spending there had actually paid off in the long run.
But for now, he’s alone.
Law runs a hand through his hair. He knows deep down that his fixation on the tiny cafe, and one staff member in particular, and been ridiculous from the jump. He knew that Sparking Red, Ichiji, was just an employee whose job it was to serve every customer with a smile. Law wasn’t special on that account, even if Ichiji made him feel like it in the moment. To Ichiji, Law was probably just a customer. A persistent one, but still no one special. He probably only remembered Law's name because of the frequency he’d gone to the restaurant.
Part of him wonders what Ichiji might be doing after Germaid 66 finally shut down, but another part of him (that sounds suspiciously like Shachi) is telling him that it’s none of his business. It was one thing to obsess over a character an employee was playing. It was another entirely to stalk the actor from job to job. Despite what his friends might say, Law wasn’t that far gone.
But still, he would miss seeing Ichiji.
He hesitates outside the brightly lit cafe. He knows Ichiji’s shift is about to start, and feels slightly creepy for knowing as much, but something holds him back from opening the door. Is it because he’s alone this time? But he’s visited the cafe by himself before, so that’s not it. It’s not due to any shame or anything either, he’s long since accepted that all of that’s gone out the window since he became a regular, so what was it?
Perhaps he just didn’t want to acknowledge how numbered the cafe’s days were. Even though he’d known the cafe had been a limited time attraction, he didn’t want to think about this place returning to an empty storefront in less than a week, and more than that he didn’t want to think about how he’d probably never see Ichiji again once it’s doors closed.
Maybe he should just come back on the final day. It was only a few more days away, and at least then he’d have his friends to help him get through it. Hell, maybe he could finally convince Cora, Katakuri, and Lami to come. Yeah, that sounded like a better option. At least then Law wouldn’t embarrass himself by being all alone. He turns on heel to leave.
He’d just come back in a few days and-
“Not coming in today?”
Law freezes at the sound of the familiar voice. For a moment all he can think is that he’s finally lost it, fully given into the delusion that the cafe had put into his head, but then he turns to look down the small alley next to cafe. There’s a tall figure standing near the side door, and Law’s eyes widen as he identifies them immediately.
“I-Ichiji,” he stutters.
The other’s dressed in casual wear, which makes sense as Law can’t imagine him or his siblings walking to and from work in their full maid outfits. Unfortunately, the lack of cutesy uniform does nothing to detract from the other’s effortless beauty, and if anything Law finds himself even more at a loss for words to see the other dressed down.
“So you can recognize me out of uniform,” Ichiji says, one corner of his mouth tugging up in a smirk.
“I, uh, you’re very distinctive,” Law mentally berates himself. He’s usually much more eloquent than this, but something about Ichiji always makes his palms sweat and words trip over each other.
“Thanks,” Ichiji says, clearly not put off by Law’s clumsy compliment. There’s an awkward beat of silence as Law struggles to find something to say. Ichiji beats him to it. “So are you not coming in then?”
Law jolts as he realized the other had asked the same question earlier. “Ah, well, I don’t- it’s just me today. I don’t have my friends.” He fidgets under the other’s piercing gaze.
“That’s fine,” Ichiji says, “I like when it’s just you too.”
Law’s brain sparks and fizzles like aluminum foil in a microwave. He gapes at the other for a few seconds before saying, “What?”
“I think you should come in today,” Ichiji says, clearly amused. By what, Law’s not sure, but he hopes to god its him.
“You… do?” Law asks, “Aren’t I, you know…?”
Ichiji raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“Creepy,” Law says and immediately cringes. He probably shouldn’t be reminding the object of his affection what a weirdo he is, but the part of him that actually still has a conscience is yelling at him to not make Ichiji more uncomfortable.
“I don’t think so,” Ichiji says, tilting his head. “In fact… it’s kind of flattering to see someone who appreciates me even in a maid dress.”
“You look really good in the dress,” Law blurts because, despite his many medical degrees, he’s still unfathomably stupid.
Ichiji laughs, and Law’s heart soars. “Thanks.” He glances down at something, his phone, and back up. “I need to get changed, but I hope I see you inside.”
He’s gone with a soft click of the side door, leaving Law standing dumbfounded in the alley’s entrance. For a second all Law can do is stand there, brain fully offline, until finally it reboots and starts chugging again. After that it’s all he can do not to trip over himself scrambling to go inside the cafe.
(And if later he nearly spits his expensive strawberry soda all over the table when Ichiji drops off a plate of complementary chocolates with a napkin that has a phone number scribbled on it… well, none of his family and friends need to know that.)