Work Text:
When Frank comes to, his ears are ringing like the worst kind of audio feedback and his skull feels like it’s gonna split in two.
There’s a pair of arms wrapped around him, holding him half-upright against a trembling body. Whoever has him, they’re breathing all over Frank’s face in quick, hot puffs. It’s not very pleasant. And Frank can’t seem to get his arms to work so he can push the offending face away. He groans and forces his eyes open.
Gerard pants above him, the whites of his eyes stark in the darkness that surrounds them.
“Frank?” Gerard whispers. He must realize how close he is, because he pulls back a little. He doesn’t let go of Frank, though.
“Ughhh…” There’s a weird aftertaste in his mouth, kind of bitter. “What happened?”
Gerard laughs a little. It sounds strained. “I should be asking you that.”
What is that supposed to mean? God, even moving his face to frown hurts. Everything is fuzzy, and he can’t remember—
Wait, he does remember.
“Fuck! Gee, are you okay? Are those guys—” Frank twists his head around to check their surroundings, then gasps when the motion makes black spots appear in his vision.
Gerard’s fingers dig into Frank’s bicep. “I’m okay. They’re gone.”
Frank slumps against Gerard. Getting killed in a mugging while running out for a pack of cigarettes would’ve been such a lousy way to go. And Gerard kept trying to push Frank behind him, like he was trying to be all noble and protective or something, which was so stupid, because Frank didn’t need protecting. Gerard needed protecting.
Frank needed to protect him, no matter what.
His head throbs. His vision has gone all swimmy, so he closes his eyes and turns his face into Gerard’s chest. He wishes he was snuggled up to Gerard under better circumstances. This isn’t exactly how he fantasized it. “What happened?” he asks again, lips brushing the rough cotton of Gerard’s shirt.
“You…” Gerard’s voice is soft, hesitant. “You don’t remember?”
Frank makes a confused noise. “No? Did I pass out?” He must’ve passed out, because he’s on the ground being held up by Gerard, but he has no idea how he ended up here.
He was scared, he remembers that much. He was scared, and then he was angry, so angry that anyone would try to hurt Gerard, and then…
His head really hurts.
Gerard clears his throat. “You, um. Your eyes glowed. And then your whole body glowed. Everything was really bright, and then it went away and you just—collapsed.”
Frank wonders if he’s having a stroke or something, because none of Gerard’s words are making any sense.
“Frank,” Gerard says slowly, “what are you?”
Frank pulls away to look at Gerard. Gerard meets his gaze. His face is pale, his eyes huge. He’s clearly freaked out—maybe even scared, and Frank was worried about this happening, dammit. He doesn’t want Gerard to be scared of him. Ever.
But wait. That doesn’t make sense. Why would he ever be worried about that? He’s just Frank.
“What do you mean?” he says. “I’m not… I’m…”
“Glowing,” Gerard says. “You’re glowing again.”
And Frank can see it—the warm light reflecting off Gerard’s face. He lifts his hand in front of his face just to make sure and, yeah, he’s glowing alright.
“I’m being summoned,” he realizes. He’s not sure how he knows, or even what that means, but he’s sure that’s what’s happening.
“Summoned?” Gerard repeats. “To where?”
Frank shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on, I don’t—Gee—”
He scrabbles at Gerard’s shoulders in a panic. What if he can never come back? What if he never gets to see Gerard again? What if he never gets to go up on stage and play another song with his best friends ever again?
What if he never gets to hold Gerard the way he wants to?
“Hey, Frank, Frankie, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Gerard babbles, but he doesn’t, they can’t stop this.
“Don’t let them take me,” he says pathetically.
The last thing Frank sees before the Earth disappears around him is Gerard’s terrified eyes locked onto his own.
Frank rematerializes in Heaven, and everything makes sense.
Michael is not looking happy with him right about now.
“That was careless,” Michael says.
Frank hunches his shoulders. He literally just got back to Heaven and the first thing that happens is he gets scolded by the head of the Archangels. Awesome. Frank knows he messed up, okay, but it’s not like he meant to use his divine grace like that. Fuck’s sake, he hadn’t even remembered he had grace to use.
Whatever. He might be in trouble, but Frank can’t regret it too much. “Gerard could’ve died if I hadn’t done something.”
Michael’s stern expression doesn’t budge. “There will always be other messengers.”
Frank gapes. “Well, yeah, but…”
But it’s Gerard. Strange, beautiful, wonderful Gerard. There will never be anyone else like him. Frank tries and fails to find the words to explain this to Michael, who somehow manages to look increasingly disdainful without ever changing their expression.
“Revealing divinity to humans has been against policy for centuries, regardless of the reason,” Michael says.
“I-I know,” Frank says. “What’s gonna happen to Gerard? He’s not gonna, like… go crazy or anything, is he?”
“He will be fine,” Michael says stonily.
Frank sighs in relief. “That’s good. Am I in trouble, then? I didn’t do it on purpose, you know. I mean, I didn’t even remember I was an angel when it happened.”
Finally Michael’s face moves, their brows pinching together. “You didn’t remember.”
They don’t say it like a question, but Frank answers anyway, cautiously. “Um. No? I thought I was a human the whole time I was on Earth. I didn’t remember until you summoned me.”
Michael’s frown deepens. “Follow me.”
They take Frank to Raphael’s office. Because a scolding from one Archangel wasn’t enough, apparently.
“Michael,” Raphael greets. “Pharael.”
Frank flinches.
Pharael—that’s him, but it hasn’t been him for the past three years. Then again, what’s a few years compared to millennia? He is Pharael. Frank is just… a name he borrowed for a little bit.
Why then, does he want to shy away from those syllables, insist that they belong to someone else?
“Pharael,” Michael starts, and Frank flinches again, “claims to have lost knowledge of being an angel while visiting Earth on assignment.”
“You say that like I’m lying,” Frank mutters, and is ignored by both Archangels.
“Curious,” Raphael says. They move to stand in front of Frank and regard him silently for a moment. Then they raise a hand, which starts to glow. Their eyes start glowing too.
“Uhh,” Frank says.
Michael hushes him.
After a moment, Raphael lowers their hand and their eyes return to normal. “Your grace is intact,” they say. “That was your first time visiting Earth?”
“Yes,” Frank says.
“And you remember everything now?”
“Yes.”
“Then I wouldn’t worry,” Raphael says. “I think perhaps… you wanted to forget.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“If Pharael is fine now, then the details are irrelevant,” Michael cuts in.
Frank frowns. The details seem pretty important to him. “So if I don’t want to forget, will I be okay when I go back?”
“Go back?” Michael echoes thunderously.
Frank shrinks back a little but says, “Yes? I thought—I mean, Gerard’s probably freaking out right now. I need to—”
“You are not going back,” Michael says. “You’ve been acting outside the scope of your assignment for a long time now. I know you are aware of this. We let you have your fun, but it’s time for you to be home now.”
Home? Frank imagines one-bedroom apartments, music studios, tour buses. He imagines bodies crowded close, the sound of his friends’ laughter ringing in his ears. He imagines feeling warm, and happy, and home.
He tries to reconcile the feeling with the sterile swaths of Heaven.
“I…” Frank shakes his head. How can he just leave his band? Leave Gerard? His chest pangs. “Can’t I at least go explain? Say goodbye?”
“No, Pharael,” Michael says, exasperated. “Explaining will only worsen the situation. Humans aren’t meant to know about the divine. Contact must be limited.”
“But…”
“Michael,” Raphael says. “Perhaps it would help them understand if we told them.”
“Told me what?” Frank says.
Michael and Raphael stare at each other for a moment, then Michael turns pointedly away. Raphael looks at Frank.
“What Michael is so reluctant to reveal,” Raphael says, “is that you, Pharael, are a Nephilim.”
Frank stares. “I’m half-human?”
Raphael tilts their head. “A coupling between a human and an angel is not so simply defined. You’re an angel, certainly, but one touched by humanity. That is likely why you feel an… atypical affinity for Earth.”
“That is irrelevant,” Michael says. “Pharael was raised in Heaven. They are an angel, and angels belong in Heaven. Don’t confuse them, Raphael. Honestly.” They scowl. “This is why we don’t like to send Nephilim on assignments.”
“It is the way of things.” Raphael gives Frank a pitying look; Frank’s not sure if that’s better or worse than Michael’s hard apathy.
Mostly, he’s thinking that he can’t leave Gerard behind without saying anything. He just can’t.
Sneaking out of Heaven is shockingly easy. Frank doesn’t know why he never did it before, except he supposes that he never even conceived it was an option before. But once he decides he wants to leave, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do it.
In retrospect, he maybe should have manifested outside of Gerard’s apartment, not in the middle of his living room.
Gerard screams, and Frank blurts out, “Sorry!”
Gerard snaps his mouth shut. He sits frozen on the couch, slack-jawed and holding a hand to his heart.
Frank waves awkwardly. “Hi.”
Gerard scrambles to his feet and clears the distance between them in an instant. He reaches out but hesitates, hands hovering over Frank’s arms. His lips part in a small, shaky exhale. “Frank?”
Frank swallows against a lump in his throat. “I’m still me.”
Please don’t be scared of me, please don’t turn me away, please don’t—
Gerard inhales sharply. He grabs Frank in a hug, and Frank lets out a choked noise, desperately relieved. He hugs back, clinging hard to Gerard’s shoulders and burying his face in his neck.
“Fuck, Frank, I thought I’d never see you again,” Gerard whispers into his hair.
“Me too,” Frank sighs.
“What happened?”
Frank closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to talk. He wants to hug Gerard forever. He almost never got to hug Gerard again. “It’s gonna sound crazy.”
Gerard shakes a little, and it takes Frank a moment to realize that he’s laughing. “After what I’ve already seen?”
Frank laughs too. “I guess.”
He pulls away from the hug reluctantly, but he knows he’s on borrowed time here. Someone’s gonna notice he’s gone soon, and Gerard deserves an explanation.
“Okay, so…” Frank blows out a breath. “I’m an angel.”
Gerard laughs again, but this time it’s high and nervous. “An angel, like you’re sweet, or…”
There’s no time to mess around.
“Like I have wings and a halo,” Frank says. “And you’re a messenger of God.”
Gerard’s nervous smile is wiped away by blank shock. “Are you serious?”
“Um. Yeah.” Frank shrugs. “I was sent to Earth to help get your band off the ground so you could spread your message.”
Gerard takes one step back, then another. “Wait, you…” His eyes go distant. Frank can practically see his mind turning the information over and over. “You got us our first gig,” he says. “You got us so many of our first gigs. You lent us your practice space. All that was—and then you joined the band.” Gerard fixes Frank with a hard, distrustful look that makes his stomach turn. “What the fuck, have you just been, like, monitoring me this whole time?”
“No!” Frank says. He steps forward. Gerard steps back. Frank’s blood freezes. His heart tumbles and lands somewhere in his shoes. “It wasn’t like that. I—I didn’t even remember about being an angel until I got summoned earlier. I haven’t been lying to you.”
“But you have,” Gerard says. “You just said you were sent to help me. Even if you didn’t remember, you still knew. That’s why you did… everything. It was all just a, a job to you.”
“Gerard,” Frank begs. “I didn’t do all this because it was my job. I mean, okay, maybe that’s what made me interested in the band at first, but. Becoming friends with you guys, joining the band, that didn’t have anything to do with it. That was all me. Falling in love with you… that was me.”
His cheeks burn to make the admission, but he wants so badly for Gerard to understand. He can’t have Gerard think the last three years were just—obligation—and not Frank doing something because he wanted to, because it made him the happiest he’s ever been.
Gerard’s shoulders jerk, but his eyes are still narrowed and his jaw is clenched. He doesn’t say anything.
“Look,” Frank says, fighting to get the words out past the vise on his throat, “if another angel had been sent to help you, they would’ve just booked you a couple gigs and fucked back off to Heaven.”
Gerard wrinkles his nose. “Are you allowed to curse?”
Frank smirks despite himself. “Why the fuck not?”
Gerard snorts. His shoulders seem to untense a bit. “So, why didn’t you?”
“Huh?”
“Why didn’t you fuck back off to Heaven?”
Frank takes a deep breath. He can’t fuck up his explanation again. “Well, like I said, I didn’t even remember I was an angel at the time—um, long story. Even then, some part of me knew it was a bad idea to hang out with you so much. I definitely wasn’t supposed to join the band. We’re supposed to limit contact with humans, you know? But I just liked you so much.”
Gerard bites his lip on a shy smile. “Liked the band or liked me?”
Frank wonders if Gerard is fluttering his eyelashes on purpose. He’s fifty-fifty on it. “Both,” he says honestly. “I mean, your demos hooked me right away. There was just something about them, you know? But the first time I saw you perform?”
He remembers it so clearly, Gerard’s first time on stage as the frontman of My Chemical Romance, wasted and anxious but with so much determination to say what he had to say.
Frank shakes his head. “Shit, Gee. You took my breath away.”
Gerard is frowning again. No, why is he frowning?
“But… If I’m a messenger of God, then the music is the message, right?” Gerard says. “Like, God’s message, or whatever?”
Frank nods. “I mean. Yeah.”
“Then that’s still…” Gerard drags his hands through his hair. “You don’t really…” He stares at Frank, his eyes huge and helpless and confused.
“I don’t really what?” Frank asks softly.
“You said you fell in love with me, but you’re an angel,” Gerard says, “and I’m a messenger of God. Do you love me for me, or do you just love me because of what I am?”
Frank was not expecting that. He never even considered that.
“I,” he stammers. “I don’t know how to answer that. I just know that I love you, and not just when you’re on stage. I love you when you get excited about a new jacket you bought. I love you when you geek out about Dungeons and Dragons. I love you even when you steal my coffee, or when you haven’t showered for a week. I love you all the time. I don’t know… I don’t have an answer for you besides that. I’m sorry.”
Gerard steps towards Frank, closing the distance he put between them; Frank doesn’t dare move himself. When Gerard comes close enough, Frank can see the way his eyes are glistening.
“Don’t apologize. That’s…” Gerard swallows. “That’s a good answer.”
Frank smiles, tremulous. “Yeah?”
“Mmhm.” Gerard sniffs and hastily thumbs the corners of his eyes. “And, you know, they say cleanliness is close to godliness, so if you still love me even when I haven’t showered…”
“Oh, God.” Frank rolls his eyes. “Don’t push it, okay?”
Gerard giggles. Sniffles again. He reaches a hand out and touches Frank’s cheek. “Frank…”
Frank sucks in a breath.
The apartment floods with bright light, and Michael’s voice reverberates off the walls: “Pharael.”
Frank’s heart lurches. “Fuck.”
He and Gerard turn to face Michael. Frank scoots in front of Gerard, because like fuck is he letting Michael near him. Michael’s corporeal form barely contains their divinity; the room is thick with static. So this is what it’s like when an Archangel visits Earth.
“Oh, shit,” Gerard whispers.
Michael doesn’t even look at Gerard, their cold gaze fixed on Frank. “I hope you’ve gotten your closure, Pharael, because you won’t be coming back again.”
Frank’s shoulders slump. “I know.”
That’s it, then. Time’s up. Frank supposes he should be grateful for the past three years. He had it pretty good, didn’t he?
“Who are you?” Gerard demands. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Gee, please don’t piss the Archangel off,” Frank mumbles. “I’m trying to enjoy my last moments here.”
“What—”
“Pharael,” Michael snaps. “It’s time to go home.”
“Okay! Fuck! Can I at least just—” Frank huffs and turns to Gerard. He’ll deal with the consequences later. Gerard looks freaked out, and Frank does his best to give him a reassuring smile. “You know, I begged for the assignment to help you out? I really, really wanted to come to Earth. And it was way more awesome than I even expected. So, just—thank you for inviting me into your band.” Fuck, his voice is getting wobbly. He pushes through. “And thank you for taking me all around the world. You’re gonna—you’re gonna do great, okay?”
Gerard stares at him. Then he clenches his jaw and steps forward to stand beside Frank.
“Gee, what—”
Gerard tips his chin up to look at Michael. “Hey,” he says. “I have to use my band to spread God’s message or whatever, right? That’s how it is? Well, I need Frank for that. My Chem isn’t the same without him. So. You can’t take him.”
Michael stares at Gerard down their nose. For a long moment, they’re silent, and Frank wonders if they’re going to keep on ignoring Gerard, even when confronted so directly. But then—clearly, slowly—they say, “It need not be through a band. And you do not need anyone else. Pharael—” Frank twitches, “—was merely sent to… expedite things.”
“His name,” Gerard growls, “is Frank.”
“You don’t have to—” Frank starts.
Gerard keeps his eyes fixed on Michael, but he grabs Frank’s hand and squeezes tight. “You told me not to let them take you, and I won’t.”
Frank’s stomach swoops. “Gee…”
To Michael, Gerard says, “Why can’t he stay? I already know, and we won’t tell anyone else—” Fucking liar, the rest of the band are gonna know by the end of the day tomorrow, that’s for damn sure, “—so what’s the problem?”
The way Michael is glaring at Gerard would be hilarious, if Frank wasn’t terrified that they were about five seconds away from smiting Gerard. After another long pause, they say, “It’s against policy.”
Fuck, it's true. Frank droops in the face of the immutable fact. No matter what Gerard says, it’s against the rules, and—
“Policy?” Gerard scoffs. “That’s all you have for me?”
Frank jerks his head up. Gerard’s eyes are blazing. He looks so righteously angry, Frank swoons a little.
“I’m in a punk band, man,” Gerard says.
No way, Gerard did not just call the Archangel Michael man. Can Frank marry him?
“He’s got a point,” Frank says, dazed.
Michael fixes him with a burning glare. “You are overstepping. You will return to Heaven, and you will stay there. This is not up for debate.”
They take a step forward—
—and their body starts to glow.
It’s bright, holy power beyond what even an Archangel should be capable of. Frank slaps his hand over Gerard’s eyes without thinking.
“What—”
As quickly as it came, the light dissipates, and Michael is gone. The whole thing only took a few seconds. The apartment is jarringly empty now without the presence of Michael’s divinity. Frank feels a bit like he’s just woken up from a dream.
Gerard tugs Frank’s hand away. “What just happened?”
“I think…” Frank shakes his head, incredulous. “God just summoned Michael.”
Gerard’s mouth works soundlessly for a moment. “Is that… good?”
“I don’t know,” Frank says.
“Well,” Gerard says, cautiously. “God didn’t summon you.”
“I guess not.” Frank meets Gerard’s eyes, stunned. “Does that mean… I can stay?”
Slowly, Gerard starts to smile. “I think that’s exactly what it means.”
Frank lets out a short, disbelieving laugh. Abruptly, he feels the adrenaline drain from him, and he sinks to the floor. “Holy shit!”
Gerard sits down next to him. “That was… fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“We’re telling the rest of the band, right?”
Frank snorts. “I knew you were lying about that.”
“You know I can’t keep things from Mikey.” At least Gerard has the decency to sound apologetic. “And if I know and Mikey knows, then Ray and Bob deserve to know…”
“Yeah, okay,” Frank says. “But can you at least give me a minute to get used to you knowing? And, for that matter, me knowing?”
Gerard bites his lip and doesn’t respond right away.
Anxiety crawls through Frank’s stomach. “Gee?”
“Things are a little more complicated now, I guess,” Gerard says.
Frank swallows. “Yeah.”
“When… after what happened with the muggers, I thought, I don’t know who you are at all. And after you disappeared, I thought, I’d give anything to bring him back. And then you came back, and you explained what you are, and what I am, and everything was so confusing. I felt… betrayed, I guess.”
“I know,” Frank says quietly.
“But I still—I mean, even after everything, I still—my feelings haven’t changed.” Gerard shakes his head. “I don’t know. I just know that I love you. All the time.”
“Wow,” Frank says. His heart is in his throat. “I mean, wow. Stealing my lines?”
Gerard shrugs, smiling sheepishly. “I said it was good.”
Frank hmphs dramatically, but any sense of teasing quickly fizzles out when Gerard’s tongue darts out to wet his lips.
They lean towards each other at the same time. Gerard touches Frank’s cheek, and they’re back to the moment they were in before Michael tried to take Frank away for good.
Thank fucking God they didn’t. Literally.
Gerard tips his head closer. “Can I?”
“Please,” Frank breathes.
Gerard’s lips are warm and unyielding. He kisses with conviction, and Frank melts helplessly into it. Has he wanted this for three years, or millenia?
Gerard breaks the kiss and pulls Frank into his arms, hugging him. “I’m so glad you get to stay.”
“Me too,” Frank says. “Really, really, really glad.”
Gerard kisses the side of Frank’s head. He doesn't seem to have any interest in moving from their position on the floor, and Frank has no complaints about that. He wraps his arms around Gerard and settles in, tucking his head into the crook of Gerard’s neck. Gerard rests his cheek atop Frank’s head and starts stroking his back, dragging his hand slowly up and down, and Frank giggles suddenly, a hiccupy sound. He might be crying, actually.
“What’s wrong?” Gerard asks, alarmed. He starts to pull back, but Frank squeezes him and he stops.
“Nothing, just… No one holds you in Heaven,” Frank says.
Gerard’s arms tighten around him. “Then I’m never letting you go.”