Work Text:
It was a Friday evening in early October when Remus Lupin found himself into a stuffy bar with his friends, nursing a pint of beer, staring at the condensation running down the glass as if it was the most interesting thing to do.
Well, it was, in a sense. At 29, Remus felt like he shouldn't be out with his friends, but home with his partner. Tucked into bed, finally able to relax after caring for hyperactive children all day. Either his own children, or his high-schoolers which were, admittedly, sometimes worse than a fucking mob of toddlers.
But it seemed like the universe – or whatever, really – wasn't granting that lifestyle to Remus. He never had a real relationship, hell, not even a real date. He'd grown fine with it for most of his life. He was doing fine on his own – there was no relationship he had to care for, no one that would be angry at Remus when he spent the day inside doing absolutely nothing and, last of all, there was no one Remus could disappoint, in one way or another.
On days like today, though, feigning indifference was like the hardest thing to do. He was sandwiched between James on one side and Mary on the other. James was leaning his head on Lily's shoulder while he laughed at one of her jokes that Remus didn't really seem to get. Remus couldn't blame them, not at all. This was the first time for weeks that they had managed to give Harry away to James’ parents for the night, making this the only evening they had for themselves. Remus had been rather surprised when James suggested meeting up in a pub. He had expected that they would be busy with, well, other things.
And Mary… it was hard to hate that too. After years of pining for Marlene she had finally made a move roughly a year ago. You could not not love them together. They were adorable in a sense that they just seemed to get each other like no one else could.
The only one who was alone here too, was Peter. He sat opposite Remus, a glass of coke in front of him, because he had sworn to himself (and everyone else) that he wouldn't drink anymore since his almost-wife had announced her pregnancy. He wanted to set a good example for his child. He wouldn't be here today, if his fiancée (an amazingly sweet woman) hadn't kicked Peter out of their flat so that he would go out, and she could have some alone-time. Remus guessed that she was the reason he was typing away on his phone, a soft smile on his face.
He sighed and took another sip of his beer, the bitterness making him grimace. It was stupid to think about this. He was just forcing himself down this spiral of self-deprecation and jealousy, only to feel guilty later for not being happy for his friends. He was, he really was. It was just hard to love them unconditionally, sometimes.
“Oh, I totally forgot to tell you guys something,” Peter suddenly said, placing his phone on the table.
“I ran into Sirius a few days ago.”
Remus almost choked on his beer.
“Sirius Black?” he managed to choke out, and the rest of the group seemed equally surprised.
“I thought he'd never come back, if I'm honest,” James muttered. “What'd he say?”
Peter shrugged. “Said he'd like to meet up again.”
Remus hadn't spent a second thinking about Sirius the past few years. They had attended school together, but they had never been particularly close – James was, of course. But years passed and Sirius wanted to get away, until he decided one day to travel the world. He left four years ago, and none of them have had a lot of contact with him since.
Even James, who called with Sirius more than any of them to begin with, told them that the calls just became less and less frequent until the contact broke off completely.
Yet, Remus remembered Sirius vividly. You couldn't really forget Sirius, once you got closer to him. And as for Remus… he had spent his highschool years stupidly crushing on a certain black-haired guy.
The crush was now long buried beneath years of adulthood, but his heart still beat faster at the mere mention of the name.
“I'll call him up, plan a meeting,” James said with a grin on his face. “Missed that idiot a lot.”
—
This was how Remus found himself in front of that same pub a week later. Friday evening again, and he was supposed to meet them all here.
Emphasis lay on supposed, because the second 7 pm (the time they agreed on meeting) came around, his phone buzzed.
James and Lily were stuck at home, Harry had a fever. Marlene and Mary told him their cat was not feeling well and they'd stay at home (Remus didn't even know they had a cat, or that they were living together in the first place) and Peter's fiancée wasn't feeling well either.
Oh, and they were all so sorry, but it would be a shame to leave Sirius hanging, wouldn't it?
“Bastards,” Remus muttered under his breath as he pushed open the door to the pub.
It took him two seconds to spot Sirius, and another two for his heart to start racing twice as fast. Sirius sat there, arm lazily draped over the back of his chair. His hair was tied into a bun – last time Remus had seen him, it hadn't been this long – and a black leather jacket was almost falling off the chair he was sitting on.
Remus was immensely intimidated.
It wasn't too late, he could just turn around and…
Sirius’ eyes found him and his grin widened when he waved him over. Remus swallowed and made his way over to the table.
Sirius didn't let him sit down, but raised from his seat himself to pull Remus into a hug.
“Remus, god, I missed you.”
Remus managed a weak smile, trying to ignore his heart when they parted and Sirius smiled at him.
“It has been a while, hasn't it?” he asked, settling in the seat opposite Sirius.
Sirius leaned back, with a casualty that made Remus’ stomach flip yet again. Hell, he was supposed to be over this stupid crush.
“Yeah, it has. Missed this, though.” He took a sip from his beer and Remus used the opportunity to order one himself.
“I'm sorry that the others couldn't come, by the way,” Remus said softly. “But you know how it is.”
Sirius frowned softly. “The others?”
“Uh, James, Lily, Pete, Marlene and Mary? They were supposed to be coming today too, but bailed?” Now, Remus frowned too. Didn't Sirius know about the plan today?
Sirius looked at him in confusion, before he seemed to realise something.
“Remus, James told me I'd only be meeting you today. Maybe you got something mixed up, or…?”
Remus almost choked on his beer from which he had only taken the first sip.
“What?” he spluttered.
Sirius’ confusion turned into amusement. “Yeah. James said it'd be just us.”
Remus shook his head, trying to remove the blush from his cheeks. Those bastards. They had set him up to what turned out to be a, what, catching up session? Date? With an old friend. Obviously they knew about Remus’ crush. Remus would kill them.
“I, uh, sorry, I just thought…?” He bit his lip. “Well, they aren't here either way. Don't take this as if I don't want to meet up with you. I just… I can't believe they lied. I’m sorry, Sirius, I didn't expect it to go this way-,” Remus ranted, but Sirius cut him off by taking his hand, causing Remus to blush almost instantly again.
“Remus, it's fine, I swear. You were one of the people I missed, too. It'll be fine to just catch up, or… whatever, really, with you.”
Remus’ mind wasn't functioning properly when Sirius squeezed his hand reassuringly after Remus muttered an agreement (at least he thought he did) and again leaned back in his chair.
“So, Remus, what happened in the past years in your life?” Sirius asked.
Remus took another sip of his drink. “Still teaching. Not a lot is happening, otherwise.” He shrugged. “I think we'll be more entertained if you tell me about your travels.”
He chuckled slightly and Sirius grinned too.
“Teaching is cool. I really like that you actually made your passion your job,” he said. “Couldn't do it, personally. And as for me… I've been around Europe a lot, but South America too. I really liked Brazil.”
Sirius sighed, and it seemed as if he was lost in thought for a moment.
“But it's good to be back, you know? I missed cold England. And you, of course.” He smiled gently and for a second, Remus wasn't sure if he meant all of them with “you”, or just him. Was he flirting? Fuck, Remus barely knew how to do that. Laugh and blush?
Remus forced himself to focus. He took another sip of his drink, trying to concentrate on what Sirius had just said.
“Brazil? What makes it so special for you?”
Sirius sighed. “The nature, the weather, the people, the food… god, you won't believe how good the food is. Mainly, it was just being so far away from everything, I think. Not from you guys, of course, but my family, the drama, you know how it is.”
He smiled. “But you won't believe how much I missed England. You only really appreciate it when you're away.”
“So you won't leave again?” Remus asked him.
“Not for a while, at least. I, uh, missed everyone. You especially.” Sirius blushed slightly and Remus thought he was imagining things. What was happening?
He froze, searching Sirius’ face for any sign of joking. But Sirius’ expression was not faltering. In fact, the blush seemed to deepen.
“I, uh…,” Remus muttered. What was he supposed to say.
“Listen, Remus,” Sirius interrupted him, and their conversation suddenly took a serious turn. “I know we never really talked, but that was admittedly mostly my fault. I just… while being away, I realised just how much I actually missed you.”
He chuckled. “It's stupid, right? We haven't seen each other properly since school, yet it's you I thought about when I needed someone to talk to.”
These words alone made Remus feel like he was in high school again, crushing hard on Sirius.
“I don't expect you to figure everything out now,” Sirius added quietly. “I'm quite in the process of doing that myself. I just… I wanted you to know, okay?”
Remus nodded, staring at the small candle between them that had been burning the whole evening.
It took him a while to build up courage to answer. “I… Sirius, I've had the worst crush on you since I'm like 16,” Remus said and a chuckle escaped him.
“I don't know what to say, but can we figure it out together? Maybe?”
They stared at each other for a moment before Sirius' smile widened. He reached over the table to grab Remus' hand.
“Of course.”
—
It was hours later when they finally left the pub. Remus was a bit drunk and a lot happy, laughing over a story Sirius' told him from when he was in Berlin.
When they reached a bus stop, the place where they had to part, Sirius grabbed Remus hand again.
“I really enjoyed today. Maybe we could repeat this?” he asked gently.
Remus nodded, his stomach flipping. “Of course. I'd love to.”
Sirius smiled, leaning forward to kiss Remus' cheek. It was a short, feather light kiss, but it was enough to make Remus’ heart beat a thousand times faster.
“I'll text you,” Sirius said, and with a last smile, he turned around.
For the first time in a while (maybe in forever), Remus went home with a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest.