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The first time it happened was smack in the middle of the exchange event, right after everything went to shit.
A dark, inky veil lowered over the forest and the first thing Mai thought as she pushed herself to her feet and brushed the dirt off her clothes was: Where’s Nobara?
She froze in place, the thought holding her tighter than any curse ever could. She blinked once and forced her mind blank - no time to unpack any of that, especially not now. She ran towards the edge of the woods and, upon arrival, realized too late that she was drawing herself to the spot where she last saw Maki's annoying lap dog, the one with fiery hair and gems for eyes, waving a hammer around like it was her God-given right to drive nails through whatever she so pleased. This was the spot where Mai shot that brat in the head with a rubber bullet.
Strange, Mai thought, but deep down she knew it was something more, something far worse.
She backtracked towards the main school building. She hadn't noticed anything out of place, save for the veil, so her best guess was that an intrusion took place somewhere on the other side of the arena. Either that, or Sukuna's vessel snapped under the pressure of Kyoto's kill orders.
Mai wasn't feeling all that optimistic, but she would still much rather believe in the former. Besides, had the vessel gone berserk, Gojo Satoru wouldn't have had a use for a veil until all the students were evacuated, which there were no calls for.
So, unless this was a new addition to the exchange event, Mai chose to assume there was an intruder on the loose, which meant that she should find the others and head back to where Utahime-sensei and the other teachers were.
Thinking and running simultaneously was hard work, so Mai had to forgive herself when she ran head-first into the lap dog herself.
“Oi! Watch where you’re going!”
Thank God she’s okay.
The thought hit Mai before she was able to fully process its meaning and, on her own cursed instinct, she smiled - warm like spring and all soft around the edges. It only lasted for a second, but damn Nobara for noticing.
“Happy to see me, pore-face?” There was a gleam in her eye that Mai admired, though she knew it only existed because Nobara felt she had gotten a hit in for Maki’s sake.
Mai brought her hand to her chin to feign innocence, a nervous tick she picked up back at the Zenin estate, back when everything was her fault. “Tch. I’m only happy to see that you didn’t die from internal bleeding in the brain. I know it was only a rubber bullet, but a little thing like you might not be able to handle that kind of force.”
A vein popped out from Nobara’s temple and Mai almost laughed as the smaller girl got up close and personal. “I’ve never seen someone breathe and shit outta the same hole before.”
Mai smirked. “I have. I’m looking at you, after all.”
“Why, I oughta-!”
A strange rumbling nearby stopped them both short. When Mai turned to face the school buildings, she saw large roots scaling up the sides of the walls and climbing over the roofs. Panicked, she turned to Nobara.
“We need to find the others. Fast.”
Nobara nodded and didn’t wait for her to take off. She was fast for someone with such short legs, but Mai was still faster. She caught up to Nobara in no time and grabbed hold of her wrist, dragging her along behind her.
“We’re not going to find anyone with you running at a snail’s pace!” Mai called out behind her. She heard Nobara’s offended huff and chose to dwell on that, on the humor of it all, instead of the fact that neither of them broke contact. Nobara’s skin was warm under hers, soft and delicate in ways Mai never would have expected from such a brash sorcerer.
She bit down on her bottom lip and hung on until Utahime-sensei was in sight. Only then did she let go, her hand cold from the sudden loss. Neither of them brought it up because it wasn't anything worth remembering. Right?
~
The second, third, and fourth time it happened was during the baseball game. Mai had kept a trained eye on Nobara throughout the match, her thoughts wild and unwilling to settle on the game at hand, and she relished in the moment when Nobara stormed up to her looking for a fight.
Oh? Did I do that to you, Nobara? Am I the cause of that face?
Mai had never had such a strong impact on someone before, not her parents, not her teachers, not even her own twin sister, so she’d have been lying if she said that watching Nobara get worked up over a few measly words wasn’t just a tad bit satisfying.
Nobara was close enough that she had to be held back by Panda, and it was then that Mai noticed the fine shade of lip gloss Nobara wore, how it coated every curve of her lips with a generous amount of shine. She wasn’t sure if she was more interested in the gloss, or the shape of the lips sporting it, but the realization gave her pause nonetheless.
Think about it later, she told herself and instinctively brought her hand up to her chin, accusing Nobara of being an otaku with a louder-than-average tone. Another strong reaction coaxed out of her, this one going straight to Mai's ego. She almost smiled as a result. Almost.
It wasn’t until after the game that she had a chance to sit down and process what she was thinking and, more importantly, why she was thinking it. Being attracted to a girl was nothing new for Mai - she had come to terms with her sexuality years ago and no longer found these feelings confusing. The real question was why Nobara? Why her of all people? The two of them had only just met, and their first interaction was less than pleasant, albeit rather intimate. It had been a long while since Mai had another girl pressed up against her like that and, if she remembered it in the right angle, it was almost like being held. It'd been a long while since she felt that sensation, too.
How pathetic.
Mai sat alone in the girls' locker room, a towel wrapped around her shoulders with her water bottle in hand. She took a long sip and thought of how determined Nobara was to beat Kyoto in the exchange event, all because of a few antagonizing words Mai had said. It was cute, in a way, how loyal she was to Maki. How eager she was to defend her honor.
It made Mai sick.
But therein lies the question: did Mai have feelings for Nobara because she was Kugisaki Nobara? Or did she have feelings for her because she was Maki's?
Mai stood, dragging the towel down to her gym bag, and began to pack up her things. She already knew the answer and that only made her realize just how pathetic she truly was. Their morning train home to Kyoto couldn't come fast enough.
The air outside the gym building was calm, a chilled stillness that belied the events of the previous day. There were obvious damages at every turn, but the pale moonlight dimmed the property until it was all more or less a shadow.
Mai took the long way back to the dorms so the night air could clear her mind - a long walk always did her some good. Without meaning to, she wandered back to the spot where she last saw Nobara, the warmth of her skin freshly remembered in Mai's hand. The area felt empty now, the damage from nearby sticking out in obvious places - pieces of the roof scattered about, trees uprooted, a pipe lying in the middle of the path.
Just as she's about to turn and head back, she hears the obvious sound of hammers on nails nearby.
Of course.
Mai knew she should have kept going towards the dorms. Nothing good could come from another encounter.
But what was the harm, really? The event was over, so it wasn’t as if they were enemies anymore. Not until the following year. Mai’s feet led her to the small clearing anyway, no matter how many cons she was able to think up, the singular pro of seeing her once more outweighed them all. The trees were crowded, making the area even darker than the rest of the training grounds. It was as if the forest was designed to get lost in. In a way, it probably was.
Nobara herself was a force of nature in the center of the clearing - small, yet quick on her feet, with sharp instincts that drove her to hit her curse-infused nails dead center every single time. She never stopped moving, not while she was shooting. She only paused to pick up her nails when she ran out.
Mai watched her for a moment, holding her breath so as to not make any noise. Nobara was concentrated, her eyes focused hard on the trunks of the trees around her and not on her nails. There was no point to shooting if she lost sight of the target, after all, so the nails had to be more than what they were on the surface - they had to become an extension of herself, a weapon she could wield without having to spare them any thoughts. Mai recognized the signs of strict aiming techniques, she would know better than anyone how difficult it is to never miss, especially when it mattered most.
It didn’t take Mai long to realize that Nobara was aiming for little acorns she undoubtedly placed around the trunks - they were small, sure, but what made them so difficult to target was how seamlessly they blended into the wood without exposure from the sun. So Nobara was specifically training her efficiency in darkness. Smart.
“How long are you going to stand there and watch, you lurker bitch?”
Mai’s face dropped a little, but she regained her composure quickly enough. “Why acorns? Do you have a thing for squirrels?” She gave a dramatic gasp before declaring: “Might you be one of those furry people?”
Even in the low moonlight, Mai could see the veins throbbing on Nobara’s forehead. “It’s always one thing after another with you.” She marched over to where Mai was standing, hammer in hand, and Mai thought that she might hit her with it. Instead, Nobara got right up in Mai’s face and gave her a glare that was probably meant to intimidate her. It failed. “You stalking me or something? How come I have to see your face again today?”
“Technically, you see my face every day.”
“Tch,” she leaned back, resting her hands on her hips. “Maki-san is-”
“Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time. Save your breath.” Mai was in no mood to hear Nobara’s opinion of her again. It stung enough before Nobara’s presence lit a spark in her chest, so she had no desire to nurse an even worse pain now. Mai looked away and nodded towards the targets. “While I commend your training, hitting a stagnant object in the dark won't help you when it starts to move."
Nobara sighed and shrugged her shoulders, the casual gesture taking Mai off guard. "I know. I keep trying to get someone to throw it for me, but everyone's either too tired, too busy, or both."
"What about your instructor? Isn't that what he's there for?"
Nobara snorted and looked off into the trees, a half smile not quite reaching her eyes. "He's not really the type to teach. Unless you're Itadori. Or Fushiguro."
Two out of three, and they both had something crucial in common. Mai thinks back to all of the "instructors" that taught Zenin children the basics of jujutsu sorcery on the estate. She had spent hours sitting around for the teacher to call on her to train one-on-one, the only girl in a field full of boys.
Her turn never came. Of course it didn't, why did she ever expect it to?
Maki had asked her hundreds of times, "Why didn't you just train on your own? Watch what the others are doing and copy them. That's what I would do. You can't let them leave you behind."
It was ironic, in a twisted kind of way, how forcefully she had said those words with the utmost conviction, how Mai had promised to take her advice next time, next time, next time for sure. Yet, when Maki inevitably left her behind as well, Mai still let her.
Even earlier that day, she still let her. Just once, Mai would like to know the feeling of leaving Maki behind instead. But a day like that would never come to pass. Even as a functionally blind child, Maki was always leagues ahead in a place Mai could never reach.
At the time, Mai had no way of voicing that she was scared - not necessarily of curses themselves, though that was a part of it, but of being alone with one. She wanted someone to fight with so that, even if she died, she would never die alone.
Her loneliness was more than just the sum of its parts; it was a curse in and of itself. Desperation wasn’t cute on her, but, according to Nobara, nothing ever would be.
"Ah," Mai eventually said. "So Gojo Satoru doesn’t think much of women then? To be honest, I'm not surp-"
"I don't know," Nobara said, cutting her off. "I don't want to think that's the case. I'd rather believe that Itadori and Fushiguro suck so much that they need the extra help."
A genuine laugh erupted from Mai, like champagne bubbles rising from somewhere deep in her lungs, and when she looked over, Nobara was smiling. At her.
"I bet you're right - those other two could use a lot of practice. You’re the only one with both wit and reflexes worth writing home about. Fushiguro gets stuck in his own head and that Itadori kid is too quick to act recklessly under pressure."
A smug look crossed Nobara’s features and Mai was pleased to be its root cause. "That’s what I’ve been saying.”
It was the most comfortable they’d been with each other and Mai wanted to hang on to the ease in which Nobara could pick her hammer back up off the ground and resume practice in her presence. “Need someone to throw for you?”
Nobara turned back halfway, hands on her hips, and gave Mai a cocky grin. “Well, if you’re going to stay, you might as well make yourself useful.”
If someone had told Mai that she would spend the darkest hours of the night picking up acorns off the forest ground, leaves and grass brushing against her fingers as dirt slips its way beneath her nails, she would have laughed and rolled her eyes. But there she was, doing just that with a girl she got off on the wrong foot with, making small talk and jokes as they worked. Nobara asked a lot of questions, each one popping into her head a split second before she voiced them, not a single one connecting to its predecessor:
Nobara: “Is Todo like that all the time?”
Mai: “Yes, unfortunately. It never stops. Eventually, you become numb to it.”
Nobara: “My condolences.”
Mai: “Thank you.”
Nobara: “What’s your favorite color?”
Mai: “Lavender.”
Nobara: “Red is better.”
Mai. “Oh. Sorry?”
Nobara: “You should be.”
Nobara: “Tea or coffee?”
Mai: “Both.”
Nobara: “Oi! Answer the question!”
Mai: “Fine, fine. Tea. We weren’t allowed much else at the estate.”
Nobara: “Pfft. Boring.”
Nobara: “If you were stranded on a deserted island, who’s the one person you’d bring with you?”
Mai: “Momo.”
Nobara: “The witch? She’d get eaten by the bears, asshole.”
Mai: “I thought you said it was a
deserted
island.”
Nobara: “Deserted of people! Not bears!”
Mai: “Fine, whatever. I’d bring Todo.”
Nobara: “To feed him to the bears?”
Mai: “Obviously. Did you even have to ask?”
Nobara: “High heels or sandals?”
Mai: “San-”
Nobara: “Bzzt! Wrong. You’d look better in heels.”
Mai: “Thank you?”
Nobara: “Shut up, that wasn’t a compliment.”
Nobara: “You only have one hour left to live. What do you do?”
Mai: “Take a nice bubble bath with a box of chocolates.”
Nobara: “You live in a cheesy rom-com, don’t you?”
Mai: “Tch. Well, what would you do, then?”
Nobara: “Rob a Gucci store. Burn the Mona Lisa. Go out in style.”
Mai: “…”
Nobara: “Strawberry cake or chocolate?”
Mai: “Chocolate.”
Nobara: “Good pick.”
Mai: “Fucking finally.”
Nobara: “Oi, oi, what’s that supposed to mean?”
Mai: “Nothing, nothing.”
Nobara: “It’d better be nothing.”
They continued their banter even as Nobara shot nails in the dead center of falling acorns. Nobara said she needed to focus, but Mai insisted she had to be able to strike even when she was distracted.
“One false move will get you killed, you know,” Mai said, tossing another acorn above her head. “Curses aren’t going to give you the luxury of silence.”
“I know, I know. Geez, you sound just like that blonde witch.” Nobara slammed her hammer into a nail and landed her hit perfectly. Again.
“You’re pretty good at this,” Mai said and she meant it.
“Heh. I’ve gotta be.” Another acorn, another nail.
Mai contemplated that. “It can’t be easy with Sukuna’s vessel so close by. I'd be putting in extra hours too if I were in your position.”
Nobara stopped short. “Huh? Yuuji?” She shook her head. “No, it has nothing to do with him.”
“But-”
“If I’m not the best I can be, how else will I rise the ranks and earn more money? You think I can afford all of the shoes I want with my salary?” Nobara tsked like she was disappointed that Mai couldn’t piece together something so obvious. “Honestly. And here I thought this was the one thing we had in common.”
Mai can't help but smile. “You have a point there.”
“Of course I do.”
Nobara quizzed Mai about the pay for sorcerers in Kyoto versus Tokyo and how it compared to the cost of living. Mai made quick work of her mental math, something she had a natural talent for, to answer all of Nobara’s questions. The conclusion was that Kyoto sorcerers made less, but when taking living expenses into consideration, they had more disposable income than their Tokyo counterparts.
“Huh,” Nobara said, placing her thumb on her lower lip. “I should do more missions in Kyoto.”
“We already have enough sorcerers.” It was true, but that didn't mean that Mai wasn't hoping for Nobara to argue.
And argue she did. “Oi, shut it. You guys could use all the help you can get.”
“Well, if you insist.”
“You bet your ass I do. You'd better start being reeeeal nice to me, Princess,” she shouted in a way that Mai sensed was just her normal speaking tone. “I might be the one to save you from a nasty curse one of these days. In fact, I know I will be.”
Princess? Save her?
Mai thanked whatever gods were out there that Nobara couldn't see the heat rising in her cheeks.
Still, Mai couldn't have Nobara making assumptions about her skills, so the fantasy of being rescued would have to be one she kept to herself. “Have you considered the possibility of me being the one to save you?”
She laughed, teasing. Almost mean, but not quite. “I'd love to see the day.”
“That day may be closer than you think.”
“Doubtful.”
No hesitation. How irritating. “Is that so?”
Nobara waved a hand as if the question was a bug and she was brushing it away. “I’ll do the saving around here. Don't worry your pretty little head off.”
“Oh? First, my pores are huge, then I'm a pale imitation of my sister, and now I’m pretty?”
She shook her head and sighed. “Geez, you’re not happy with anything, are ya? Three things can be true at once, you know. And Maki-”
Nobara paused. Looked down at the dirt and leaves and broken acorns all around them. Clearly she had struck a nerve. Good. Maki could be a sore spot for them both.
“I didn't mean it like that,” Nobara settled on, clearly not planning to elaborate, but Mai had the gut sense that she wasn't lying. “Not like… Ah, fuck. You're pretty, okay? Just accept it and shut up.”
Mai should not have taken that as a compliment, but she did. Deep inside her was a little girl squealing for joy at the bottom-of-the-barrel praise. Pathetic, really, but beggars and choosers never did mix. “Flattery will get you far in life, you know.”
Nobara paused, her grip tightening around her hammer as she lowered it to her side, and smirked with something like mischief behind her eyes. “Oh? How far exactly?”
Now it was Mai’s turn to pause, rewind those words, play them back again and again until she reached a conclusion that satisfied her. She placed a hand on her hip while the other twirled a strand of her hair, feigning confidence despite feeling anything but. She took a few smooth steps towards Nobara. “Just about anywhere. You got a place in mind?”
Nobara had gotten in Mai’s face several times over the past few days. In fact, more times than anyone else ever had in her life, which was impressive seeing as they'd just met. So when she stomped towards Mai with her usual bravado, Mai thought nothing of it. Just another confrontation that led them nowhere.
She certainly wasn't expecting Nobara to kiss her.
Mai’s eyes widened before they fluttered shut. Despite Nobara’s abrasive demeanor, her touch was gentle, calm. Almost shy. Mai wondered if Nobara had ever kissed another girl before, or anyone for that matter. Nobara’s hands cupped Mai’s cheeks, a loving gesture she wasn’t used to, and in return, Mai ran one hand through Nobara’s hair while the other laid rhythmic circles into the small of her back.
For all her talk, Nobara didn’t seem confident in exploring the kiss further, so when Mai took the reins, Nobara came alive under her touch and followed her lead without hesitation. It felt good, Mai decided, to have the control for once. Nobara stood on her toes to bridge the gap in height, keeping with Mai’s pace, breaths heavy and skin hot to the touch.
Nobara’s hands remained respectful, but Mai could tell they didn’t want to be by the way they slid down from her cheeks to her neck, tracing her collarbones, but going no further.
Mai slowed the pace gradually before pulling away. Even in the dim moonlight, she could see the swell of Nobara’s lips and the glint in her eyes, looking up at Mai with something like lust. Was this what it felt like to be desired? If so, Mai could get used to it.
“Satisfied?” Mai asked, though she already knew the answer.
Nobara’s furrowed brows spoke louder than words ever could, but she still gave a courteous: “Fuck no.”
“Oho, but I’m afraid that’s as far as your flattery will go. Please deposit more if you wish to travel further.”
Nobara pressed her forehead to Mai’s chest, a steady and welcomed pressure. Mai’s hand was still tangled in Nobara’s hair, so she held her there and thought about placing kisses down the parting of her hair. In the end, she refrained.
The silence around them was comfortable. Calming. Like they were natural parts of the forest, roots entwining, buds sprouting, and growing as one living entity instead of two. Leaves blew around them in the breeze, but never on them, as if they were in a protective bubble created by the wind.
And then: “You’re really smart, ya know? A smartass at times, but still. I like talking to you.”
Mai could feel the heat in her cheeks, the way her heart was pounding in her throat. “Is that so?”
“Yeah,” Nobara said, burying herself deeper into Mai’s embrace. “You’re beautiful,” she said, almost directly into Mai’s heart, with more sincerity than Mai had ever heard from her before.
More flattery. Mai chuckled. Normally, she would question whether or not she was dreaming, but Nobara felt too real in Mai’s arms, the ground beneath them too solid. “Toll accepted. And where would you like to go this fine evening?”
Nobara looked up, not meeting her gaze directly and biting down on her lip. The telltale signs of fearing rejection. Mai knew that feeling well, almost like a sister. But Nobara did what Mai could never bring herself to do and pushed through it. “Your room. I’ll tell you everything you want to hear, Princess.”
Tempting, for sure. She wanted to agree without reservation, and in truth she almost did, but still Mai had to ask. “Oh? But will you mean your words? Or are they just there for show?”
Nobara met her gaze full-on and gave her a devilish grin, moving her hand to the back of Mai’s head and pulling her down before kissing her again with more confidence this time. “Babe, I never lie.”
This, Mai knew, was unmistakably true. There was comfort in Nobara’s honesty, regardless of whether or not she said the things Mai wanted to hear. At least she’d always know where she stood, never having to wonder if she was going to be abandoned without warning. Or if she was even good enough to stand by her side. Nobara would certainly tell Mai everything that was on her mind.
“Well then, in that case, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”