Chapter Text
It’s driving Cheng Xiaoshi crazy.
There was a picture that Lu Guang was hiding under his pillow. Cheng Xiaoshi had spotted it the other day. He hadn’t gotten a close enough look to figure out what it is, and it was killing him that he didn’t know.
He knew better than to ask Lu Guang, though—Lu Guang would deny its existence and start hiding it someplace else, where Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t find it and then he’d never know what it was. So he bided his time.
Cheng Xiaoshi never realized how much of a homebody Lu Guang was—he rarely left the studio unless it was with someone else, mostly Cheng Xiaoshi himself. And after they got home from the hospital after…everything with Qian Jin and Li Tianchen, he left even less.
But to be fair, the hospital recommended that Lu Guang, in particular, take it easy, even after months of healing. Cheng Xiaoshi supposed that’s what a deep stab wound and ripping the stitches three times does to someone.
And that’s where Cheng Xiaoshi was at. Waiting. And it was driving him crazy.
Cheng Xiaoshi had pulled up a stool to the counter where he was cleaning the camera lenses. His leg was hurting particularly bad today, probably because of the cold weather. He looked at the clock again—it was one in the afternoon, and no one had stopped by. Lu Guang was napping in the sunroom, probably warmer than he was, damn him.
Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t know how long he’d been cleaning this lens, but every time he peered through it, there was a smudge. He would’ve thought it was damaged if the damn smudge didn’t move every single time.
Cheng Xiaoshi put the lens down, pushing all of his torso across the counter in a stretch. “I’m so bored,” he groaned loudly, stretching his arms out further.
“You look comfortable,” He heard in time with the door chime and an automated “a guest has arrived!” He looked up and saw Qiao Ling, hands on her hips.
“I’m not,” Cheng Xiaoshi groaned again. “This is so boring, no one needs photos taken or developed at this time of year.” He complained.
“So you vote you should just shut down the business?” Qiao Ling shot back.
Cheng Xiaoshi sat up straight. “Don’t put words into my mouth!” Cheng Xiaoshi’s face scrunched up.
“Oh, good, you’re both here.” Qiao Ling’s disposition changed as she put her hands together.
Cheng Xiaoshi was confused until he looked back towards the sunroom and saw Lu Guang standing by the curtain. He was rubbing his eyes like he had just woken up, which he probably did. Cheng Xiaoshi smiled weakly, sheepishly.
Lu Guang didn’t seem to acknowledge him at all, though, and he said, “Sure, we can come.”
“Wait, what?” Cheng Xiaoshi was lost again, turning his head back to Qiao Ling, who just sighed, shaking her head.
“I said I was going to go to the bookstore and wanted to see if you guys wanted to come with,” Qiao Ling reiterated, “We could even go to the boba shop after?”
Cheng Xiaoshi rolled his eyes. “Don’t I need to ‘hurry up and pay off the debt’?”
Qiao Ling strided further into the studio, up to the counter, reached up, and flicked Cheng Xiaoshi’s forehead before he could react. He hissed in pain, hands immediately flying up to the impact spot.
She shook her wrist like she was flicking water off of it, shaking her head. “I thought I would be nice and invite you out, don’t push it.”
Cheng Xiaoshi was rubbing his forehead, lamenting the fact his sister was so mean. He looked over at Lu Guang and was about to complain to him, and realized—Lu Guang had already agreed to go.
This was the perfect opportunity.
Cheng Xiaoshi turned his attention back to Qiao Ling. “I’m good,” He said, “But the two of you should go, don’t let me stop you.”
Qiao Ling looked bewildered. “What do you mean, ‘I’m good’?” she asked.
Looking over at Lu Guang, he looked equally as bewildered. But he didn’t say anything.
Cheng Xiaoshi doubled down. “I’m good, the bookstore is boring as hell, so I’ll pass,” he said, “But Lu Guang,” he turns to face his partner, “It seems right up your alley. And you could grab me boba while you’re out?” He batted his eyes prettily.
Lu Guang looked away, keeping his impassive face, but Cheng Xiaoshi can see a tint of pink on his ears. “Idiot. If you want boba so bad, then come out.”
Cheng Xiaoshi leaned back in the chair, hooking his hands behind his head, turning it to face the window. “I’d probably just buy stuff I don’t need. I still need to finish the manhua I have already,” he said. He dropped his arms and hopped up off the chair, ignoring how his leg throbbed from it.
He knew he could just say his leg was hurting—which wasn’t a lie—and they’d probably leave him alone, but there’s a chance they’d probably just stay out of worry. And not only did he not need that, he would lose his chance, and he didn’t know when the next one would be.
Qiao Ling narrowed her eyes at him, analyzing. Cheng Xiaoshi pointedly avoided her gaze. “I’ll just stay and keep an eye on the studio. Make sure no one comes by and wants something.”
“Weren’t you the one just saying—” Qiao Ling began, but sighed. “Whatever. Lu Guang, are you coming? I still need someone to carry these books,” She acquiesced.
Lu Guang looked unsure still. Cheng Xiaoshi walked over to him, hiding any hint of a limp. He patted Lu Guang’s back. “You should go,” Cheng Xiaoshi pushed, “You never get out, you’re like a hermit!”
Lu Guang looked at him, annoyed. “I am not like a hermit,” he said.
“Then go out and prove it!” Cheng Xiaoshi patted Lu Guang’s back a little harder. “Go be the kind landlady’s pack mule for today instead.” He grinned.
Lu Guang seemed to consider for a moment, before shaking his head. “Fine, but I’m not getting you boba.”
Internally, Cheng Xiaoshi jumped for joy. But instead, he just held a hand over his chest like he had been shot, stumbling backwards onto the couch. “How…could you…Lu Guang…?” He said, “You’re so mean to me!” He complained.
Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t notice when she had gotten beside him, but he felt Qiao Ling hit the back of his head, and he jolted forward. That hurt a little more than the flick, so he rubbed it in earnest this time. “Qiao Liiiiiing,” He groaned. He looked up, then, about to say something, but it died in his throat as he caught a view of Lu Guang’s face.
He’s probably just fluent in Lu Guang-tology at this point, but he noticed in his mostly impassive expression a hint of hesitance, of fear.
What did he say? Did he say something dumb? He looked at Qiao Ling, and wondered if she had noticed too.
All of this must’ve happened in a fraction of a second though, because she grabbed Lu Guang’s arm with a decidedly annoyed look on her face. “Idiot” She sighed, “Let’s go, Lu Guang,” She pulled Lu Guang along.
As she reached the door, she paused as Lu Guang got the door. “You better be downstairs when we get back, or you’re not getting your boba.”
Cheng Xiaoshi grinned. “Where else would I be?” He said.
Qiao Ling, to her credit, looked like she wanted to continue the banter, but didn’t. The bookstore wasn’t that close, and they had to make it before they closed. “I’ll see you later, stupid.” And the door shut behind her.
After waiting a moment to be sure they weren’t going to come back because they forgot something, he jumped up off the couch, raring to go.
But his leg wasn’t as willing, and it nearly buckled under him. “Ow—shit,” he swore, wincing. He rubbed at the almost healed injury, annoyed. Ugh.
After a moment of metaphorically licking his literal wound, he took a normal pace to accommodate his leg as he went up the stairs to their room.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s heart was beating out of his chest, nervous. Though he’s made it this far, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting from the photo. It could be anywhere from just a random picture, or a picture of some traumatic past, or, somehow worse, of a lover he didn’t know about. Cheng Xiaoshi shook his head. Probably not the last one. Lu Guang was not charismatic in the slightest, unless you counted his looks.
He took a deep breath as he crawled up to the top bunk, where Lu Guang’s neatly made bed was being crumpled by his weight. He’d just need to smooth it out later before Lu Guang got home. Easy. Cheng Xiaoshi grabbed his pillow, and hesitantly lifted it, to see—
Nothing?
Had Lu Guang realized he saw it? Had he hidden it already? Or—or did Cheng Xiaoshi just make it up? He tilted the pillow to the side to look and see if he had just missed it. Was Cheng Xiaoshi doing this for naught? Could he have gotten boba if he hadn’t made it up?
But Cheng Xiaoshi noticed something flutter out of the pillow and onto the bed, which he recognized as the photo he was looking for. He let out a breath of relief, then picked it up to inspect it closer.
And it made his stomach drop to the floor.
In the photo, it was a sunny day. But nothing about the scene was ‘sunny’. In the background, there were many graves, and from what Cheng Xiaoshi could see, a church further back. In the foreground, there wasn’t much, but someone in all black holding a pure white bouquet.
Qiao Ling holding a pure white bouquet.
She looked younger. She looked older. She was holding a smile, but the tear stains down her face betrayed her emotions.
Cheng Xiaoshi—Cheng Xiaoshi had no idea what this was. When this could’ve possibly been. Qiao Ling had only attended her mother’s funeral when she was much younger, and Cheng Xiaoshi had been there.
And why would Lu Guang have this photo?
Cheng Xiaoshi crawled down from the top bunk, photo in hand, and sat on his bed, staring, trying to understand.
If he could tell correctly, Qiao Ling must’ve been 18 or 19. If so, Lu Guang might’ve been around. Maybe it was one of his relatives—no, why would Qiao Ling be crying so hard if she probably didn’t know this person? And—
Where was he?
Cheng Xiaoshi felt sick. He was confused.
But he was also curious, in a way that made him feel gross.
Why wasn’t he there? Why was Qiao Ling crying so hard? When was this? A million questions were in his mind.
The answers were right in front of him, too.
Cheng Xiaoshi felt uneasy. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew it would probably just be better to ask Lu Guang. Or Qiao Ling, for that matter. He knew it would be dangerous to do this alone.
But he knew Lu Guang, too. He wouldn’t tell him straight, and if Qiao Ling was this torn up about it, he’d feel horrible asking her directly. And as long as it was quick, he could just pop in and out, see what comes up in the emotions of the photographer.
And he was curious. He needed to know. He wanted to know if there was a way he could help Qiao Ling. She looked like she was in such pain—maybe even if he couldn’t change it, he could at least help soothe her.
And if he wanted to go, he should do it soon, while he still has time before Lu Guang gets back.
He knew this was wrong. But he found himself standing in front of the desk once more, looking at the photo.
It’ll be quick, and Cheng Xiaoshi could feel the deja vu, but he ignored it. He took a deep breath—
And dived into the picture.
It was weird usually, diving—but this was different. This made him feel like he was being torn apart from the inside. Usually, his conscious is immediately transferred into the consciousness of the photographer. But this felt like an eternity of pain, but he knew it must’ve only been a few milliseconds.
But what was weirder, is when he opened his eyes, he was not at a gravesite—no, it was much more familiar.
It was the same room he jumped from. He was staring out the window and everything.
But as the seconds passed, Cheng Xiaoshi’s awareness widened, and he knew he was in his bedroom, but it was—not the same.
It was still cold, he’ll give it that. Cheng Xiaoshi, even in a different body, could feel his leg aching.
The window facing wall was all he could see as he tried to steady himself on the desk. The wall was empty, without any personality, and the vines that were contained outside only moments before were preventing the light from entering the room, fully covering the window and some peaking inside through the cracks in the corners.
The air was still. It was stagnant. It was stuffy. All of the adjectives that made it hard for Cheng Xiaoshi breathe.
Before he could turn around to examine the rest of the room, he heard stomping up the stairs, and then the door swung open.
An older woman stood in front of him, holding nothing but in a fighting position, and while she was maybe 20 years too old, she reminded him of someone. Her long hair was starting to grey, but she still held a slim physique, mostly hidden by her baggy clothes.
She looked shocked. She looked—Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t begin to parse the look in her eyes. She was still for several seconds, and Cheng Xiaoshi finally had the idea to look down.
His outfit was simple, could’ve been anyone’s, a black shirt with a white over shirt and black pants—but his physique—the watch on his right hand…
The woman’s voice came out in a whisper, but Cheng Xiaoshi could clearly hear it in the silence of the room.
“Lu Guang…?”