Chapter Text
Having a lightsaber wasn’t what made you a Jedi. There were a lot of other things that did that, plenty of which Ezra understood and some of which he didn’t yet. A lightsaber was just a tool, not a part of his identity.
However, they were pretty kriffing handy to have, especially when one was being constantly shot at by Imps.
It hadn't mattered when he first got back from Malachor. Hera had grounded him for a month, banning him from missions so he had some time to recuperate. Secretly, Ezra was pretty sure she was just terrified of something happening to him, too.
Like what happened to Kanan—no. Don't think about that.
After the first month, he’d begged Hera to let him out in the field again, to let him do SOMETHING. He was tired of sitting around the base getting pitying looks and avoiding Kanan. It was time to do something. So, reluctantly, Hera had put him on a supply run with Sabine and Zeb.
It had gone well, though the absence of the others was sharply obvious. Hera spent most of her time on the base now, working as one of the major commanders of their operations, and keeping an eye on Kanan. Jyn, of course, had left, and Kasmir and Okadiah were looking after the spy network.
And Kanan…Ezra tried not to think about Kanan.
Regardless of all of that, the three of them, plus occasionally Chopper and Rex, worked well together. Ezra took to carrying a blaster, and Rex and Sabine gave him plenty of pointers on how to use it well.
He was pretty good at this point.
But not good enough to combat the instinct of going for his lightsaber. And definitely not good enough to push away the ache of missing his weapon. Not just as a weapon, but for what it represented. For the familiar hum that he always sensed from it. Now, that was gone. And he was stuck sitting on the base while they waited for another mission, cleaning his blaster and wondering how in the name of the Force he was supposed to figure this out.
“It’s not like there’s an overabundance of kyber crystals out there,” he grumbled out loud.
“What’s that, dear?”
Startled, Ezra glanced up from his work to see Chenni looking at him with a frown. She’d arrived on the base a few weeks back, along with a few other refugees who’d escaped Lothal and other, similarly oppressed systems thanks to Maurice’s network. She’d since proceeded to make herself at home helping around the base, mainly with cooking and providing everyone with a lot of blankets, and also flirting with Okadiah. Who did the same. Shamelessly.
She was also really good at listening, and while Ezra mostly didn’t want to talk about the various things bothering him…this could be a good thing to figure out.
“I’m just frustrated,” he told her. “My lightsaber was destroyed on Malachor, and that was over two months ago. I don’t have my old kyber crystal, and I don’t have K—have any way of finding a new one.”
For a brief moment, he wondered if the holocron they’d taken from Malachor would be able to help him with that. After all, it had given him some fairly good tips that had helped him on his missions.
But…somehow, Ezra didn’t think finding kyber would be the holocron’s greatest skill.
“I’m sorry to hear that, my dear,” Chenni said sympathetically. Taking a seat on the crate next to his, she frowned in thought. “Hmm. Well, how did you find the first one?”
“It was on Lothal, in the Jedi Temple there,” Ezra told her. “I meditated, and I just…sensed it. But I had help looking. Kanan—the, um, the Jedi holocron had a map that I meditated on. But that…probably won’t work this time. Lothal’s blockaded, after all.”
(and he didn’t want to have to ask his master for help with this. He already knew how Kanan felt about everything that had happened. He couldn’t very well go ask him for help fixing a problem he’d created. So the holocron was out, and so was Lothal.)
“Well, then, perhaps you should meditate on a map that isn’t on the holocron,” Chenni suggested. “If Lothal is impossible to get to, surely the Force will lead you to an alternate option. Or…you could ask someone who knows much about the ways of the Jedi.”
Ezra tensed. “Chenni, I don’t think—”
“I was talking about Rex.” The look in Chenni’s eyes was warm and sympathetic as she said, “He knows much about the Jedi, after all. His closest friend was one.”
“Oh.” The knot in Ezra’s stomach loosened, but not much. Rex didn’t seem angry at him about what had happened, but it wasn’t like they’d talked about Jedi stuff or anything. Would he blame Ezra, too? “I mean, maybe.” It’s better than trying to talk to Kanan, anyway. “Sure, I’ll give it a shot.”
Smiling at him encouragingly, Chenni said, “Good. I hope it goes well, dear boy.” Getting to her feet, she headed across the camp towards the Yellow Submarine, and Ezra stared after her absently.
Asking Rex about finding a new kyber crystal. It wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever heard, it would just be easier if he could ask for help from a Jedi. Or, more appropriately, from his master.
Not an option, he told himself fiercely. Kanan’s still healing, and he doesn’t need more of your problems on his mind. You can do this on your own. You can handle yourself. You have to, if you ever want him to come back.
He checked his blaster one last time, then got up and went to find Rex.
The clone could usually be found in one of two places—the command center with Hera and Sato, or the Yellow Submarine , where he’d lived ever since Kasmir and Okadiah had grounded the shuttle and turned it into a makeshift place for part of their cell to stay in. After finding the command center empty, Ezra headed there.
Sure enough, Rex was in the kitchen, and to Ezra’s surprise, he wasn’t alone. Sabine was there, too, and even more surprisingly, Fenn Rau.
Ezra supposed it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise—they’d been keeping him “prisoner” in the Submarine ever since they arrived on Atollon. It was the perfect place for him to have a little freedom, while still maintaining the charade that he was there as a prisoner, not an ally.
The three of them were discussing something intently, but Rex looked up as Ezra approached. “Ezra! Good to see you. What brings you over here?”
“Hey, Rex,” Ezra said, glancing at Rau and Sabine. “Can I have a word? I mean, as long as I’m not interrupting—”
“Not at all,” Rau said briskly. “We were about finished. Wren, I’ll make some calls and see what I can find for your project.”
“Thanks,” Sabine said as the Protector rose and headed out of the kitchen. Glancing at Ezra, she said, “Do you want me to leave?”
Ezra shook his head. “Nah, you’re good.” Taking the seat Rau had vacated, he looked at Rex. “So…you and Ahsoka were really close.”
He knew to expect the flash of sorrow in Rex’s eyes, but the guilt still cut sharply. “We were,” he agreed. “We fought side by side for years, and worked together in the Rebellion. There were times when we split up, working on different projects or helping different people. But we always ended up back together, because that’s where we could do the best good. Side by side.” A fond smile creased his features, then he glanced at Ezra. “But that’s not what you came here to ask me about, is it?”
“Not exactly,” Ezra admitted. “I just…did she ever tell you anything about where I could find a new kyber crystal? I know it’s a long shot but I could really use a new saber.”
“Good point,” Sabine agreed thoughtfully. “It’s nice to have Jedi backup out there on our missions.”
Especially since Kanan’s gone. Sabine didn’t say it, but Ezra felt it. Swallowing back the twisting pang of guilt and sorrow and anger, he said, “So? Rex? Any ideas?”
Rex rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm. Well, she always talked about Ilum—but the Empire’s long since torn that place to rubble. You need somewhere a little more subtle. A place the Empire wouldn’t think to look.”
“Exactly,” Ezra said. “I found my first crystal on Lothal, but I don’t think that’ll work again.”
Nodding in agreement, Rex said, “And Lothal’s dangerous, these days. Hmm…” Frowning, he said, “Leave it with me. I have some old records I can check, and I think I remember one of Maurice’s friends mentioning a place that might be able to help.”
“Will do,” Ezra said, a little of his tension seeping away. The idea of having help with this particular situation sounded really good right about now. “Thanks, Rex.”
“Any time,” Rex told him.
The next few days ticked by at a fairly regular pace. Kanan’s bandages were checked one day, and the signs of an infection were discovered. The worried furrows between Hera’s brows grew even deeper than they already were, and Ezra made a point to stay as far away from the medical center as he could.
Instead, he spent time on sparring matches with Sabine, who seemed to know he needed the distraction, and as many other projects as he could possibly find. He and Sabine were in the middle of helping Chenni clean the kitchen on the Submarine (now that she’d moved in, Chenni had some very specific opinions on how clean Kasmir, Okadiah, and Kanan had kept the ship. The kitchen was the only place she hadn’t been completely disgusted by) when Rex came to find him.
“Kid, you busy?”
At the sound of Rex’s voice, Ezra glanced up from scrubbing off the counter. The clone was standing in the doorway, clad in his usual piecemeal blue and white armor, with a gray duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “Hey, Rex. Uh…depends. What’s up?”
“Finished looking through those records, and I have a lead,” Rex said, and Ezra shot upwards.
“Really?”
Grinning, Rex said, “Yep. I ran it past Hera, we can leave as soon as you’re ready.”
“Umm…” Ezra shot a pleading look at Chenni, who sighed theatrically.
“I suppose I can spare you. Fenn can help in your place.”
“HE CAN DO NO SUCH THING,” came Rau’s alarmed voice from the other room, and Sabine snickered as Ezra dropped his cleaning rag.
“Let me just get my stuff,” he told Rex, who nodded. “What ship are we taking?”
“Hera said we could use the Phantom. Meet there in 15?”
Already heading for the door, Ezra said, “Sounds good!”
He raced back to the Ghost as quickly as he could. Luckily, there wasn’t much he needed for a mission—just his blaster, wrist comm, and a few other pieces of gear he’d learned to keep with him at all times. When he emerged from his room, he found Sabine and Rex waiting for him.
“Hey,” Sabine said, nodding at him. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Ezra said, shooting her a grin. “I’ll bring you back a souvenir.”
Rolling her eyes, Sabine said, “If you stay in a better mood than the broody one you’ve been in lately, that’s all the souvenir I need.”
“Awww,” Ezra said, pressing his hand dramatically against his chest. “You totally care.”
Smacking him in the arm, Sabine said, “No, you’re just a total pain to deal with. Don’t die out there, you two.”
As she strolled back out of the Ghost , Ezra turned to face Rex, anticipation humming through his veins. Sabine may have been joking, but she wasn’t wrong. This was the most excited he’d felt since Malachor.
“So, where are we going?” he asked.
Waving for Ezra to follow him, Rex headed to the ladder that led up to the Phantom, answering as he moved. “An Outer Rim planet that the Empire hasn’t touched.”
Ezra frowned as they scrambled into the shuttle. “I didn’t think there was anywhere like that left.”
Settling in the pilot’s seat, Rex explained, “It’s an ocean planet, so there aren’t many land masses. But I have friends living on one of the islands, and I found something in one of the reports that hints at the presence of kyber there. I figured it was worth a shot.”
Dropping onto a bench as Rex powered up the Phantom , Ezra said, “At this point, I’ll take what I can get.”
“That’s the spirit.”
They cut through the atmosphere with ease, and it was only a few minutes later that they jumped to hyperspace. Rex warned him that it would be a few hours before they arrived, so Ezra settled in as comfortably as he could. For a moment, his thoughts flashed to the holocron he’d left hidden on the Ghost . This would have been a perfect opportunity to study it more, with so much free time.
That said, having Rex sitting a few feet away from him would definitely not help with that. Ezra had a feeling he wouldn’t understand why he was using the holocron. None of them will, he thought with a twinge of irritation. He didn’t like hiding things from his crew. But what choice did he have?
It wasn’t like Kanan wasn’t hiding, too.
Closing his eyes, Ezra leaned back and tried to meditate. In the end, his thoughts looping in endless, frustrated circles, he drifted off into an uneasy tangle of dreams, haunted by holocrons and Inquisitors bearing fatal lightsaber scars, Maul’s mocking laugh echoing here and there.
Through it all, Ezra knew he was looking for something. But was it his kyber crystal, or was it Kanan? Regardless, he was lost in a maze of black stone, weaponless and masterless. Alone.
Echoing breathing sounded behind him, and when Ezra turned, a massive black figure loomed before him, raising a red blade for a final strike.
With a shout, Ezra sat bolt upright, heart pounding as he gasped for breath. Dream, he reminded himself. Just a dream.
“You alright, kid?” Rex’s concerned voice pulled him out of the last haze of sleepy confusion, and he glanced at the clone.
“Y-yeah,” Ezra managed, taking a deep, steady breath. In and out. Find your center. Just like Kanan taught you…
He let the thought trail off, unwilling to follow it to the inevitably painful finish. “I’m fine,” he told Rex. “Are we close yet?”
“Perfect timing,” Rex told him as the console chimed. “We’re about to come out of hyperspace.”
Getting to his feet, Ezra moved forward just as the starlines receded, and they burst into real space. The planet beneath them was deep blue, traced by studded lines of islands and white clouds.
“Welcome to Pabu,” Rex told him. “Home of one of the few clone sanctuaries not run by our friend Skirata. My friend Echo lives here with his old squad. They’ll give us a hand if they can.”
Nudging the ship forward, Rex brought them down toward the planet, cutting through the atmosphere in no time. Ezra watched, eyes wide, as they swooped down over a massive expanse of water, sparkling green-blue in the sunlight.
“It’s beautiful here,” he said.
“That it is,” Rex agreed. “Wait until you see the island. It’s right up ahead.”
No more than a minute passed before the island came into view—a towering, mountainous peak looming out of the water. Even from a distance, Ezra could see the tiny buildings speckling the surface, and docks jutting out into the water. Rex didn’t head for them, however. Instead, he went up, cruising up above the island and then slipping downwards towards a courtyard at the summit.
They landed there, and Rex keyed off the ship before getting to his feet. “Come on. Let me introduce you to some old friends. I think you’ll like them.”
Ezra followed him out of the ship and into the courtyard. Bright sunlight swept over him, and he blinked, squinting a little to adjust his eyes.
The courtyard they’d landed in was paved with stone, with arched columns surrounding the place. At their backs stood a massive tower built of gray stone, and a gnarled tree, blooming with white flowers, was planted off to one side.
They weren’t alone in the courtyard, Ezra noted as he took the place in with wide eyes. A small crowd of beings were watching curiously, and he watched, a large, dark-skinned bald man stepped forward, heading toward them. At his side was a woman with dark curly hair bundled back from her face, and a warm smile.
A similar smile was spreading across the man’s face as he called out, “Rex! It’s been too long.”
“That it has, Shep,” Rex agreed, stepping forward and clasping the man’s hand. “Good to see both of you. Ezra, this is Shep Hazard and his daughter Lyana. They’re in charge around here.”
“More Lyana than me at this point,” Shep said with a chuckle, and Lyana grinned.
“Someone has to look after all of you.”
“They’re lucky to have you,” Rex told her. “Have you seen Hunter and the others? I need a word.”
Nodding, Shep said, “They saw your ship coming in, and commed me to let me know. They should be on their way right—”
“REX!”
A tall blonde blur hurtled past Shep and Lyana and crashed into Rex, almost knocking him backward with the force of the hug. Ezra choked back a startled laugh as the woman who’d hugged Rex pulled back, grinning hugely.
“How are you? We haven’t seen you in forever!”
“Good to see you, too, Omega,” Rex said, grinning fondly. “Ezra, this is Omega. She’s a member of the Bad Batch, the clones we’re here to meet.”
“Oh, you’re a clone?” Ezra said, frowning. “I didn’t know there were any girl clones. Uh—no offense.”
“None taken,” Omega said with a grin. “I’m pretty unique, yeah. You’re Ezra Bridger, right? It’s so great to finally meet you.”
“Uh…yeah, how did you know?” Ezra asked, frowning. “Did Rex—”
“Oh, no,” Omega said, waving a hand. “We heard your transmission, for one. And you’re Hera’s kid! She’s told me a lot about you.”
“I forgot you and Hera were old friends,” Rex said, snapping his fingers. “Didn’t know you were still in contact.”
Shrugging, Omega said, “We try to keep in contact, but we’re both busy. It’s been a bit since I heard about her kids and her dreamboat of a man.”
Ezra nearly snorted at the idea of Hera referring to Kanan as a dreamboat. “So, you’re part of a squad?” he asked.
“I am,” Omega said, beaming. “My brothers—you’ll love them.”
“How are the others?” Rex asked. “Too old to brave the stairs up here?”
“I heard that!”
Ezra followed the voice to three figures heading towards them. The one who’d spoken was immediately recognizable as a clone, though he definitely didn’t look like a typical one—a cybernetic implant ran along the back of his head, and one of his hands was missing, replaced with a scomp link, of all things. He was dressed in civilian clothing, as were his two companions—a massive man, one half of his face covered in scars and one eye missing, and a man with long dark hair and a black tattoo marking half of his face.
They were both clones, too, Ezra realized, but none of them looked like the typical ones he’d met. Interesting.
“Echo,” Rex said, and Ezra could see the joy bright on his face. Ohhh wait. I know that name, he realized. Echo had appeared in a lot of the stories Rex told about Fives, the clone who’d died shortly before the war ended.
Stepping forward, Rex closed the gap and pulled Echo into a hug. “You look good,” he told the other clone, who slapped him on the back before releasing him.
“You look the same. It’s been way too long for you not to have changed, Rex.”
“Thanks,” Rex said with a grin. “Hunter, Wrecker. It’s good to see you.”
“Good to see ya, Rex,” Wrecker said, slapping him on the shoulder so hard Rex stumbled forward with a wince. Ezra covered another snort of amusement, and he heard Omega snicker.
Rubbing his shoulder ruefully, Rex said, “Thanks, Wrecker. Er—are you missing a few members?”
Hunter nodded. “Sorry they couldn’t make it. Tech and Phee are on another expedition to one of their long forgotten planets, and are planning to be back in a few days. Which probably means another few weeks. And Crosshair and his wife are off helping an old friend.”
Rex’s eyebrows shot up. “Wife? Since when?”
“I know,” Wrecker said, laughing. “I thought he was too grumpy for her, too.”
Grinning, Echo said, “Yeah, no one saw it coming.”
Leaning over to Rex, Ezra whispered, “Who’s Crosshair?”
“Picture Ventress,” Rex told him. “Then imagine her grumpier, and a male clone.”
“...that’s terrifying.”
“Not once you get to know him.”
“I take it this is the Jedi you’re helping out?” Hunter asked, frowning at Ezra.
“That’s me,” Ezra said, straightening up a little despite himself. “I’m Ezra—”
“Hera’s kid?” Echo said, eyebrows shooting up. “You didn’t mention that, Rex.”
Rex shrugged. “It was a last minute thing.”
Frowning a little, Ezra said, “That’s not bad, right?”
Omega scoffed, and Hunter shook his head. “Not at all. Any friend of Omega’s is a friend of ours. Now, why don’t you come down to the house? Or is this strictly business?”
“Not strictly,” Rex said, “but Ezra will probably want to get going soon. Why don’t we talk on the walk down?”
Hunter nodded, and the group of clones, plus Ezra, crossed the courtyard to the long, winding path that led down into the city. Ezra took in the sights with wide eyes—every path was lined with colorful houses, flowering plants, and a stunning view of the sea. It’s beautiful here, he thought. It wasn’t anything like his homeworld, but was still gorgeous in a different way.
“So,” Hunter said briskly, breaking the silence. “What brought you here this time, Rex? It’s been a while.”
“It has,” Rex agreed. “But Ezra here needs a new kyber crystal for his lightsaber.”
The clones exchanged puzzled looks. “And…you think we can help with that?” Echo asked.
“Not you, exactly,” Rex admitted. “But Bly once told me that his…in-laws, shall we say, visited you a few times. And in that time, Ventress said there was a place here that she sensed a deep connection to the Force. The kind that you get around kyber.”
“Oh!” Omega’s face lit up. “I know that place. I went there with her when she last visited. It’s the caves on the southern part of the island, near the water.”
“Caves,” Ezra whispered, thinking back to the temple on Lothal, where he’d received his first crystal. To Kanan and Trilla’s stories about Ilum. “That sounds right.”
“Alright, then,” Rex said with a nod of satisfaction. “We’ll need to get down there as soon as we can.”
Ezra saw Hunter and Echo exchange a look. “It’s…not that simple,” Hunter said slowly. “The southern caves are dangerous.”
“I can handle dangerous,” Ezra said, and Wrecker chuckled.
“I like you, kid.”
“But,” Hunter said, “it’s not that simple. It’s a maze in there, but that’s not the real issue. During low tide, you can make it almost anywhere in there without a problem. But when the tide rises, parts of the cave flood. There are rip currents that could pull you under, or sweep you out to sea. And there’s…something living in there.”
“Something?” Ezra asked.
“Something,” Hunter said, his voice ominous. “We’ve never seen it, luckily enough. But there’s a reason most people here tend to steer clear of the place. We do our best to keep the kids out of there.”
Bristling, Ezra said, “Well, I’m not a kid. And I can handle whatever this cave thing is.”
“It’s also a difficult to navigate entrance,” Echo added. “It would be quite the challenge.”
“Bring it on,” Ezra said, pushing aside worries about rip currents and cave mazes and somethings waiting to eat him. “If it means I get a new kyber crystal, it’s worth it.”
They’d stopped at a balcony-like overlook, rimmed with blue flowers. Rex studied him, brow furrowed. “Are you sure you want to take this risk?” he asked. “There could be another way.”
Shaking his head, Ezra said, “I got this. Besides, it’s possible there might not even be a crystal in there for me. I’ll need to check once we get a little closer.”
Despite his words, he knew, in his gut, they weren’t true. The minute they’d landed, he’d started to hear it. Like a whispering song, tugging him in a direction he assumed was south. And there wasn’t much longer Ezra was willing to wait.
“How about this?” Omega said, cutting into Ezra’s thoughts. “I’ll bring Ezra down to the southern caves, and wait to bring him back up if he needs it. I’ve explored them a little in the past, and I know my way around better than anyone else here.”
Hunter and Rex exchanged a look. “Are you alright with that?” Rex asked quietly.
Snorting, Hunter said, “At this point, there’s not stopping her.”
“Not that there ever was,” Wrecker said, nudging her with a grin.
Grinning back, Omega said, “It’s settled, then. Ezra, come with me and we’ll get a boat down to the caves. Echo, go get Rex something to eat and tell him all the island news.”
“On it, Havoc-5,” Echo said with a mock salute. “See you in a bit.”