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Exhaustion was not a big enough word to describe what Finn was feeling at the end of his first day out of the medbay. As soon as he’d been cleared by the medics, he’d been whisked into meeting after meeting to talk about what he’d seen on Starkiller Base: weapons, troop numbers, weapon stores, ship types and numbers, and anything else anyone could ever think to ask about a base. Once he’d escaped the meetings, Finn had been sent straight into a strategy session with General Organa and the other high-ups in the rebel army. Seeing Poe beaming at him from across the room when he entered was the only small relief throughout the day. He’d been called on again and again to describe whatever First Order tactics he knew, in an attempt to bolster the Resistance’s chances against them.
By the time the general dismissed everyone from the war room, Finn wanted nothing more than to take a nice trip to the ‘fresher and sleep for about a day. A hand on his arm made him pause and turn to see Poe standing beside him with a huge grin. Finn managed to grin back.
“Hey Poe. Good to see you anywhere that’s not my bedside,” he offered, his smile strengthening when Poe laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.
“Finn, buddy, I feel the same way,” he said cheerfully, steering him down the hall. “You looked like you were about ready to pass out in there – still feeling a bit weak?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” Finn grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Medics said that I ‘wouldn’t feel 100% for a while’ but I guess I didn’t quite get what that meant.”
Poe’s brow furrowed, and his mouth opened as if he were going to ask something, but it snapped shut just as quickly. For a minute, rage darkened his expression, but it was quickly replaced with sympathy.
“Don’t worry bud, the first few days out are rough on anyone who’s been hurt as badly as you have,” he said reassuringly. Finn stopped with him in front of a plain gray door labeled “DAMERON” and watched him quickly type in the passcode. The door slid open with a soft sound, and Poe immediately moved inside. When Finn didn’t follow, he turned around and raised an eyebrow.
“Are you waiting for an invitation?”
“Well, I figured it’s your room, your name’s on the door, I didn’t want to intrude…” Finn said nervously, hands twisting in front of him. Poe blinked, then started to laugh.
“Sorry Finn, I guess no one told you, what with everything else you had to do today – we’re sharing a room. The base isn’t huge and the medics weren’t too keen on you leaving if you didn’t have someone to look out for you, so I volunteered my room. I’ve got more than enough space.” Poe paused, and Finn remained outside, too startled by Poe’s kindness to remember to respond. At his silence, Poe immediately began to backtrack.
“I mean, if you’d rather be in another room, or back in medical, I completely understand! We can go talk to someone about it straight away, if you want,” he rushed out, already moving back towards the door. Finn immediately shook his head, finally moving into the room.
“No, no! Here is great! I just – I don’t – thank you?” he tried, looking at Poe helplessly. He didn’t know the right way to thank someone for something so generous. Poe visibly relaxed and offered Finn a crooked, toothy grin.
“No need to thank me buddy, I’m just happy you’re doing okay,” he said honestly. Finn could do nothing but beam back.
It took three days for Poe to realize he’d made a terrible mistake.
Not that Finn was a bad roommate; in fact, Finn was the best roommate he’d ever had. His bed was always perfectly made, and he never left anything lying around the room, not even laundry after a long day. He was quiet and respected Poe’s space and belongings without being rude or cold. He was also so punctual for meetings and physical therapy sessions, Poe felt the need to step, and became more punctual himself.
No, the problem with having Finn as his roommate was that every minute they spent together, Poe found himself increasingly infatuated with him.
Finn’s smile was like sunshine; no matter how bad of a day Poe was having, all Finn had to do was smile and he’d feel better. He was kind and concerned for Poe’s well-being all the time, which was absurd considering Finn was the one with the lightsaber injury. As three days spun on into a month, and then two months, Poe found himself looking forward to coming back to D’Qar more than he looked forward to flying out because when he landed, he knew Finn would be waiting for him. It felt like each time he returned, Finn was exponentially better than when he left; after telling him all about the mission, Poe would listen to Finn tell him all about physical therapy, then go talk to the therapist to make sure Finn really was doing well. He wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the rapid progress, the doctor or Finn himself.
Even BB-8 was staring to notice Poe’s affection, and had started to give regular updates of how long it would take to get back to D’Qar when they returned from missions. Poe would have been irritated, but found that he liked knowing more than he wanted BB-8 to keep quiet. The droid had also begun powering down as soon as Finn and Poe were in their room together, clearly trying to encourage Poe to make a move.
But it was Finn, who had so little experience in the world he was constantly asking Poe about little parts of life around the base. Introducing him to new foods was Poe’s favorite activity because the reaction, positive or negative, was always wildly out of proportion to the fact that it was a single bite or sip. To be fair, Finn knew more than Poe was expecting; he was reasonably fluent in a collection of random subjects, including history, weapons, and technology. He was severely lacking in anything remotely related to pop culture, so Poe took it upon himself to help Finn catch up by showing him all his favorite holovids. Finn would light up every time Poe came up with a new suggestion for them to watch, and Poe was delighted to find that Finn liked to cuddle. Actually, no – Finn loved to cuddle, to varying degrees depending on the type of vid they were watching.
Three days ago, Poe had returned from a recon mission with a few members of his squadron, checking the area where Starkiller Base had been located to make sure the First Order wasn’t trying to rebuild there or salvage anything from the former super weapon. When they’d arrived, they were almost immediately engaged by a group of TIE fighters doing the exact same thing. He’d flown back with the smell of burning metal in his nose and adrenaline thrumming through his muscles. He’d gotten thoroughly smashed with Jess and Snap that night, hoping the alcohol would soothe the itch in his bones. It had worked, for once, and he’d been pleased until he’d woken up the next morning with the entire Jakku desert in his mouth and pounding like marching Stormtroopers in his head. Finn had laughed at him when he’d opened his eyes and immediately shut them with a whine because the sun was far too bright for him just then. Poe had managed to open one eye to glare at him, which only encouraged Finn to laugh harder before he offered to get some water and painkillers for the headache. He hadn’t even teased him when Poe elected to spend almost the entire day in bed trying to recover from the frankly absurd amount of alcohol he’d consumed.
Today, Poe had woken up feeling downright chipper and had immediately set out to do everything he should have done the day before, namely repairs on his X-wing. Finn was already gone by the time he’d gotten himself together, but he’d left a note saying he would be at physical therapy and then doing some kind of weapons test with blasters. He’d left the jacket, which had been patched by one of the nurses while Finn was still in and out of the medbay, hanging on the chair next to it; there was a postscript on the note suggesting that Poe take it for the day, to ‘help him get back in the swing of things.’ Poe snorted as he pulled it on, and allowed himself to press his face to the collar and inhale deeply. It now smelled of Finn, with a hint of oil and Poe’s cologne still clinging on underneath.
“I’m so fucked,” Poe muttered to himself, not for the first time, as he killed the lights and headed for the hangar.
When he arrived, he was immediately accosted by his fellow pilots, who were apparently determined to harass him for his total lack of work the day before. He did his best to ignore them or shoo them away, and turned his attention to a quick visual inspection of Black One. When BB-8 rolled up and chirped out that it had run a slew of diagnostics on the ship the day before, Poe nearly kissed it. With BB-8 directing him, he opened up his ship and began to repair the damage from the skirmish.
Poe had lost track of time entirely, and was elbows-deep in the engines, humming absently to himself, when Finn appeared at the door of the hangar.
[Friend-Finn!] BB-8 squeaked out, alerting Poe to his friend’s arrival. He looked up to see the little droid shooting across the hangar to greet a laughing Finn. He turned his attention back to the engines to try and finish up before Finn made it over here. Considering he was stopping to talk with nearly every pilot along the way, Poe figured he had a good shot. Unfortunately, he was only mostly-done by the time Finn arrived beside Black One, sunshine grin going full force. Poe grinned back as BB-8 came over to circle his ankles.
“I’d have waved, but my hands are a little busy,” Poe said, wiggling his fingers to make the metal inside the engine rattle.
“Don’t worry, I think I can let it slide,” Finn replied, laughing. “I just came to see if you wanted to go get dinner?”
“It’s dinnertime?” Poe said in surprise, glancing down at BB-8 for confirmation.
[The current time is 18:37 Friend-Poe!] it said cheerfully.
“I’ll be dammed,” Poe said. “Give me a second to finish this and wash my hands, and we’ll head out.”
Finn nodded in agreement and settled down on a stepstool Poe had pushed off to the side some time earlier. Poe began absently listing out what he was doing, mostly so BB-8 could record it and tell the mechanics if something went wrong, but also because he liked teaching Finn things, especially things about flying. To his surprise, Finn began to interrupt him to ask questions, and when he glanced over his friend looked genuinely curious. Impulsively, Poe beckoned him over with a jerk of his head.
“Come on, I’ll show you how it works,” he said as Finn picked his way through the tools strewn about the hangar floor. BB-8 gave an irritated beep and began to organize the tools, muttering that Poe’s sloppiness was going to get someone killed. Poe elected to ignore the droid in favor of removing his hands from the now-finished engine and beginning to point out parts.
He clearly hadn’t thought this through, however, because it soon became necessary for Finn to crowd into his space to see everything Poe was pointing at. He plastered himself to Poe’s back to look over his shoulder, apparently oblivious to the hitch in Poe’s breath and stutter of his voice. Poe was fairly certain that if they stayed like this for longer than a few moments, he would faint or smash his head on the X-wing trying to escape. He rushed through the end of his description in order to avoid both of those events.
“So that’s pretty much all the basics,” he said with as much casual cheer as he could muster. “Let me go wash up and we can go grab dinner, I’ll just be a minute.”
Finn had moved away from him, and Poe heaved a soft sigh of relief as he slipped away to one of the sinks lining the walls. When he glanced back over his shoulder, Finn was staring intently at the engine, pointing at and mouthing the names of the parts Poe had told him. It was so adorable Poe thought he might spontaneously combust at that very moment.
Poe scrubbed the oil and grease from his arms and hands as quickly as he could before heading back over to Black One. BB-8 had apparently finished cleaning up the tools, and was now attempting to direct Finn in the proper way to replace the panels over the engine, even though Finn didn’t speak a lick of Binary. Poe watched in amusement as he pulled the jacket from where he’d left it on the stepstool and swung it on.
“Why don’t I help,” he said, causing the other two to turn to look at him. BB-8 beeped out its version of a sigh of relief, while Finn just offered a sheepish grin. Poe smiled kindly before pointing out the tools he needed and showing him how to seamlessly reattach the three panels. It took twice as long, but it was all worth it to see the look of utter delight on Finn’s face once he realized he’d done it.
I’m so, so fucked, Poe thought for the second time that day as he slung an arm around Finn’s shoulders on their way to the mess hall.
Once they had collected their trays of Resistance-issued rations and settled down at a table, Poe questioned Finn about his day. His face lit up when he began to talk about physical therapy – apparently, he was doing so well he was nearly ready to be discharged.
“The doctor and the medi-droids think it’ll just be another couple of weeks,” he told Poe cheerfully as he took a bite of whatever green vegetable they’d been given today.
“That’s incredible buddy, I’m so happy for you,” Poe replied honestly. “Do anything else today, or did physical about kill you?”
“Nope! After therapy I did a weapons test on the blasters.” Here Finn frowned and stabbed his food a little more viciously. “I didn’t do so well.”
“Hey, however you did is awesome,” Poe said firmly. “Your spine was practically incinerated – it’s a miracle you can fire a baster at all!”
Finn just shrugged in response and turned his attention back to his food. Poe frowned and nudged him with his toe until Finn looked up again.
“I’m serious Finn. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the 90th percentile instead of the 98th, or whatever happened. You could be in the 4th percentile and everyone would be delighted,” Poe said seriously. “We’re all just happy you can walk again.”
Finn ducked his head again, but Poe could see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth and could have sworn he was blushing. Satisfied that he’d made Finn feel better, he returned to his own rations. They spent the rest of the meal in silence, but a comfortable, easy one that Poe enjoyed. When they were both done, they rose together to push their trays through the window to the kitchen and left for their room. When they were halfway there, Poe was startled by the sensation of a hand slipping into his. When he glanced over, Finn was resolutely not looking at him, but had laced their fingers together determinedly. Poe kept looking at him until Finn glanced over; when he did, Poe raised his eyebrows and wiggled his fingers questioningly, quietly delighting in the warmth of Finn’s hand and the strength of his grip.
“Just – thanks. For earlier,” Finn muttered, looking down at his feet. Poe felt a soft smile worming its way onto his face while his stomach did some pleasant backflips.
“No problem buddy,” he replied, punctuating it with a squeeze of his hand.
Finn squeezed back in reply, and they spent the short remainder of the walk in silence, hands swinging slightly between them. A few people passed by them, shooting looks at their hands, but for the most part they were alone.
When they got back to the room, Poe reluctantly retrieved his hand to unlock the door. He could feel Finn hovering a little too close behind him, not that it bothered him. He just headed straight for his drawers, fishing around for a t-shirt and pair of boxers, as well as a towel.
“I’m gonna hop in the ‘fresher, okay buddy?” he asked Finn, glancing over towards the man as he spoke. Finn nodded absently, pulling his own sleeping clothes out of his drawers.
It was probably one of the shortest showers Poe had ever taken, entirely because he was incredibly eager to get back into the bedroom and find a good holovid to distract Finn with. He spent his entire time under the water running through a mental list of all his favorites to try and decide which one would be best to cheer up his friend. When he was done, Poe toweled off as efficiently as possible, pulled on his clothes, and stepped back into the room while rubbing the towel through his hair.
Finn was stretched out on his bed, reading something on his datapad. He looked up at the sound of the ‘fresher door and smiled at Poe. Poe grinned back, hanging his towel over the door.
“Feel like watching a holovid?” he asked, picking up his own datapad. Finn nodded immediately, powering down his own device and swinging his legs off his bed. Poe waved him over, settling down close to the wall on his own bed to leave enough room for Finn to sit.
“What are you thinking buddy? Action, comedy, romance – take your pick,” Poe said cheerfully as Finn settled down next to him. Finn hummed thoughtfully as he settled down on the bed. Poe automatically lifted his arm, and did his best not to twitch with delight when Finn slipped underneath it to tuck his head against Poe’s chest. Finn’s love of cuddling was definitely going to kill him one day.
“Do you know any action vids about the Jedi?” Finn asked once he was settled.
“You know, I think I do,” Poe replied, carefully wrapping one arm around Finn’s back while he pulled up the vid with the other. He shuffled down slightly, so that Finn’s head was just brushing his jaw and his hand was splayed over his ribs. One of Finn’s arms came to wrap around his middle and Poe barely resisted the urge to nuzzle the top of his head.
He really didn’t mean to fall asleep. He had really wanted to watch the movie, and had wanted to watch Finn’s reactions to it even more. But barely ten minutes in, Poe found his eyelids drooping; he barely had time to feel irritated before he fell asleep completely.
When he jerked awake some time later, he was conscious of Finn’s warm body beside him, but also of a startled yelp of pain. When he finally snapped back to full consciousness, Finn was rubbing at his thigh and doing his best to glare at him.
“You just kneed me in the leg,” he grumbled, attention already turning back to the vid.
“Sorry buddy, I was totally out,” Poe rasped, voice deepened from sleep. Finn snorted.
“I know. You were snoring right in my ear,” he teased without looking away from the screen. A quick glance confirmed that it was the climax of the film; the hero had to choose between saving his fellow Jedi and saving his family. As far as Poe could remember, that meant he’d been asleep for about an hour, if not an hour and a half.
“Sorry,” he reiterated, unsure what else to say. He felt Finn shrug against his ribs.
“It’s fine Poe. You were tired.”
“Apparently I was,” Poe muttered, running one hand through his hair and absently rubbing over Finn’s ribs with the other. Finn snorted again, wiggling forward to press himself against Poe more closely as the Jedi onscreen looked between his two options dramatically. Poe gave him a gentle squeeze, and could have died of happiness right there when Finn returned it with the arm slung over his body.
They watched the rest of the film in silence, with the exception of Finn’s occasional gasp or distressed noise. Poe could barely focus on the screen, just about floating on the happiness from Finn’s proximity. But he dutifully kept still, only moving intermittently to massage Finn’s ribs or give him a comforting squeeze. Finn seemed to appreciate it, and would usually return one of Poe’s half-hugs with one of his own.
When the credits finally began to roll, Poe stretched forward to shut down his datapad, dislodging Finn in the process. Finn let out an indignant, if soft, squeak as he thumped back down on the mattress as Poe stretched over him to replace the datapad on his bedside table. He took the opportunity to stretch his arms and back, glancing down at Finn as he did so. Finn was pouting slightly, making Poe laugh as he flopped down on his side next him.
“So, did you like it?” he asked as Finn rolled to face him.
“Yeah! It didn’t end like I thought it was going to,” he replied enthusiastically. Poe nodded as best he could in agreement.
“Yeah, I remember when I first watched it I was expecting everything to work out; they definitely got me with that ending,” he admitted with a laugh. Finn laughed with him, and Poe could have dropped dead right there and been okay with it.
When the laughter died down, they just looked at each other, half-smiles lingering on their faces. Poe was conscious of the quiet surrounding them, the way he could hear both his own and Finn’s breathing. The only light came from the single, tiny window in the room, a mix of the harsh orange lights around the base and faint white light from the stars. Finn’s eyes were reflecting some of the orange light, making them shine slightly in the gloom. He was totally relaxed, sprawled across Poe’s bed, and for a minute Poe couldn’t breathe with how at home he felt. He was speaking before he’d consciously registered the decision to open his mouth.
“Force, you’re stunning.”
Poe could actually hear the sound of screeching brakes once he’d finished. Embarrassment clawed its way up his throat to make his face burn while dread arced down his spine. Not only had he ruined the peaceful atmosphere in the room, he’d gone and blurted out half a romantic confession. If a hole could open up in the floor and swallow him, he would happily leap in.
Finn didn’t say anything. Poe could see just enough that he could make out the surprise on his face. He opened his mouth to try and backtrack as fast as possible, but Finn beat him to the punch.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
He was dead. Poe Dameron, best pilot in the Resistance, had almost certainly just died because not only had Finn told him he looked good, he’d said it with a shy little smile and a nervous nibble of his lip when he finished. If he wasn’t dead, then his brain had absolutely short-circuited. It took Poe a minute to remember that he needed to reply, and when he did he blurted out the first thought that crossed his mind.
“Can I kiss you?”
Well, he’d intended to be a lot smoother if and when he ever asked Finn that, but that plan was now out the window. Poe held his breath as Finn’s eyebrows pinched together, surprise now battling with confusion on his face.
“Why?” he asked, sounding utterly bewildered. Poe blinked.
“Well, when you really like someone and you want to be in a relationship with them, you can show your affection by kissing them,” he explained as best he could. Finn shook his head.
“No, I know that, we’ve watched like four romance holovids. Why would you want to kiss me?” Finn elaborated.
“Finn, why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?” Poe replied, now feeling bewildered himself. “Not only are you gorgeous, you’re the nicest person in the Resistance, and probably the bravest to boot. You’re incredible Finn. Absolutely incredible.”
Poe didn’t have time to feel the least bit embarrassed about his slightly lovestruck confession, because as soon as he finished Finn lunged forward to press their mouths together himself. It wasn’t the best kiss, wasn’t even a good kiss really, but Poe hummed delightedly anyway. When Finn pulled back, he gave Poe a tiny, unsure smile that made Poe lean up to press their mouths back together. This time, he pulled Finn down on top of him, freeing his hands to cup Finn’s face.
He gently adjusted Finn’s head, pulling him back ever so slightly so that there was less of their teeth smashing together with their lips barely protecting them and more of their lips touching gently. Finn’s lips were soft and a little wet, but Poe’s were dry and chapped, so he pulled back to lick them before fitting their mouths back together. Now their lips slid over each other gently, and Poe sighed softly into Finn’s mouth. He got in a little nip to Finn’s lower lip before he pulled back, making gasp softly in surprise. They looked at each other for a long minute, Finn half on top of Poe and Poe softly stroking over Finn’s cheekbones with his thumbs.
“Okay?” Poe asked softly.
“Are we dating now?” Finn replied, sounding desperately unsure. Poe grinned in spite of himself and leaned up to kiss Finn’s nose.
“I think I can safely say that yes, we are dating now,” he replied before leaning in to kiss Finn again, and again, and again.