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It had been a couple days since that morning. Once Albert had plenty reassured Mycroft that he was indeed alright and that he was feeling better, Mycroft had left after making the other a cup of milk tea, giving Albert space and leaving him alone with his thoughts. The thing was, for once Albert's head was radio silent. It was as if someone had laid a warm blanket over all of his usual unpleasant thoughts, leaving him only with a lingering feeling of comfort. It lasted the whole day, even after Louis had come back home. Said person had also noticed the slight change in his brother, the features on his face, which always made him look under the weather ever since he had come back from his self confinement, seemed more relaxed, making him look more peaceful. Louis decided to not question him, because, even if he was worried for him, he knew he wasn't someone who would open up easily, and if someone had managed to relieve him of some of his worries, then it was for the better.
The reality of things didn't fully hit Albert until he was about to fall asleep. He was laying on his bed, the soft and comfortable sheets enveloping his body, the scent of melted wax still lingering in the air, lulling his tired form to sleep. He could feel the darkness slowly embrace him when suddenly the memory of him kissing Mycroft flashed through his mind. That was enough for making him snap his eyes open in that mellow night. Did he really kiss Mycroft?
He replayed the moment a few times in his head. He did it. Unless that was a fever dream, which wasn't unlikely but felt wrong this time since the whole ordeal was too real. He sat up, trying to mentally pinpoint the situation. He had been feeling unwell since the night before, a number of thoughts clouding his mind. In the morning, Mycroft had paid him an unexpected visit, trying to make small talk. Somehow he had noticed that he was unwell and somehow he had convinced him to open up. He had ended up having a breakdown and seeking comfort in Mycroft's arms, which eventually led to him kissing him. He mulled over it for a while, trying to make sense of what had happened. He had opened up? With Mycroft at that? What was up with him?
Since he could remember, the only person who he had allowed into the depths of his mind was William. Even when he didn't want to burden him, William had always been there for him, listening to him and comforting him. Yet with Mycroft it had been radically different. Even at his lowest, he had never broken down like that, trying to maintain his calm façade while still seeking comfort, not wanting to worry William, since he knew that what the other was going through was much worse. But with Mycroft he tore himself open, finally letting some of the things that were a constant reminder of his failures as the eldest brother out. It was... weird. He had never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and now someone outside of his family knew of his situation, that someone being his former director. Was that even their relationship now? He had kissed him. And even before that, Mycroft had written him countless letters to which he had never replied. One surely doesn't do that if he doesn't consider the other person to be a close friend. Or at least that was what common sense suggested. But he had thrown common sense out of the window the moment he had started crying in front of him. This was such a mess.
Albert spent the next half hour replaying all of these points in his head, trying to find a solution or at least a way to face Mycroft normally. He didn't find anything though, his mind too clouded by tiredness to think properly. He eventually laid down again, a light sleep granting him some relief.
The next day, he woke up later than usual. He didn't feel rested at all but he got up nevertheless, getting dressed before making his way to the kitchen. On the kitchen table there was a light breakfast waiting for him, sided by a cup of steaming tea. Sat at one of the ends of the table there was Louis, drinking what he presumed was tea while skimming through a newspaper. When he heard footsteps approaching, he glanced up.
"Good morning Albert."
He returned the greeting before sitting down on his spot. While eating, he could feel Louis' eyes stealing some looks at him, almost as if he wanted to ask him something. He decided to be the one to break the silence, trying to deviate Louis' focus somewhere else.
"Has William come back already?"
When he asked that question he was met with a slightly displeased expression. He knew what that meant.
"No, he hasn't. He's probably still at Sherlock's. You know that when he spends the night there he always comes back in the late morning."
Albert inwardly smiled at that. It was great that William had found someone who made him feel comfortable enough to make him forget the ticking of time. Louis didn't seem to share his point of view though. He knew that he didn't mean anything by it and that it was just a lingering sense of protectiveness towards the older brother, but it was still endearing seeing him act so coldly and bothered whenever Sherlock was mentioned or around.
"I see. I doubt he'll come home soon then."
At that Louis looked at him, letting out a quiet snort. After that a comfortable silence settled between them as Albert was finishing his breakfast. It was Louis who spoke up, trying to mask his uneasiness with a composed tone.
"Have you slept well? You woke up later than usual today."
Albert looked up, his usual calm smile appearing on his lips.
"I did. Last night I was engrossed in a new book I've picked up recently so I ended up sleeping later than usual, which brought me to also wake up later."
Even if it wasn't unlikely, Louis could tell that it had been a restless night for his brother, his eyebags even more prominent. Moreover, Albert wasn't William, he wouldn't give up on sleep for a book. There was also the weird behavior from the previous day.
"Did something happen with the Director yesterday, when he gave you that envelope for me?"
Albert managed to not choke on his tea and reply as calmly as possible.
"We just had a chat about some idle matters. I wanted to know how things were going and if you were working well."
Louis gave him a long look. He could sense that there was more to that but he decided to not push further. When he was like that, the more someone tried to question Albert, the more he would evade the topic. It was better to leave him be until he would be ready to talk about it.
"Well, you could've asked me directly. Also, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I'm not a little kid anymore and even if I may not be as good as William with this kind of thing, I'd like for you to rely on me more."
Albert looked at him, his eyes soft. He was really a failure of a brother, having his family always worry over him. But even with these unpleasant thoughts, he couldn't help but feel a hint of warmness spread across his body. He was about to reply when they heard a pair of keys twist inside the keyhole. A familiar head of blonde hair appeared on the doorstep, a gentle smile on his face.
"I'm home."
Behind him, a man with long blue hair gave them a polite nod.
"Pardon the intrusion."
Albert smiled, looking at the pair taking off their shoes and hanging their coats. They gave off an oddly domestic vibe, it was endearing. Louis on the other hand didn't seem as pleased as him. He decided that it was better if he was the one to take the reins of the conversation.
"Welcome back, William. It's also nice to see you again, Sherlock. You came home earlier, did something happen?"
William smiled, walking up to them, followed by Sherlock.
"Not really, but do you still have that book you lent me a couple months ago? Sherlock would be interested in reading it too."
He paused, looking at his brother before adding.
"Were you having breakfast? Did we interrupt you?"
Albert shook his head, replying, "not at all, I have just finished. And sure, it's in my room, I'll bring it down. Do you want some tea?"
William smiled, taking a seat along with Sherlock.
"I'll take you up on that."
Sherlock gave a quick nod to the offer too.
It was Louis who got up to make the tea, stopping Albert from doing anything other than setting the cups on the table. With Louis gone, silence settled between the three people. The first one to break it was William, who placed his gentle gaze on Albert.
"How are you doing? This is the first time I've seen you have breakfast so late."
The latter hesitated before wearing his usual smile.
"I'm doing alright, last night I was up until late to finish a book I was reading, so I've woken up later today."
William exchanged a look with Sherlock, the mentioned getting up, saying "I'll go check on Louis," before disappearing into the kitchen. Albert raised an eyebrow at that, turning a questioning look to his brother. He knew Louis wouldn't be happy to be left alone with Sherlock. William shrugged innocently, but he was sure that his brother was plotting something. He decided to cut the chase. He intertwined his fingers, tilting his head.
"William? Do you know something I don't?"
William looked back at him, his gentle smile was still there but his eyes betrayed a hint of slight worry, Albert could tell that much.
“I’ve heard Mycroft dropped by yesterday.”
That was the only thing he said and it was enough to make Albert blink a few times, trying to mask the swirl of emotions that started to cloud his mind. William didn’t pressure him into talking and just waited patiently. The silence stretched for a while longer until Albert decided to clear his throat, his feeling of uneasiness subsiding.
“He did. And I suppose he came to see you too.”
William made a guilty smile at that, replying, “you’re right, he stopped by Sherlock’s apartment.”
Albert looked at his brother, before asking, “did he tell you anything?”
The blond seemed to hesitate, an uncharacteristic look of indecisiveness appearing on his face for a split second.
“He didn’t. He just looked slightly shaken and talked with Sherlock in private for a long while. I don’t know the content of the conversation but I had a hunch that he must’ve come here before coming to see Sherlock. Did something happen?”
The last question was laced with a hint of concern. William was wearing the same expression he always made whenever he felt something was off with Albert: his gaze held a soft feeling to it and his voice was more tender, but he knew it meant that he was worried, it was just his was to express it, a way forged especially for Albert, to not burden him with unnecessary feelings. He wasn’t worth of that care. He should be the one comforting William, not the other way around. A little part of him though, liked to relish in that feeling. He sighed. He didn’t want to, he didn’t want to make his brother worry for him all over again, but maybe baring his heart to him once again was the only way to make a sense out of the thoughts that clouded his mind.
“We’ve talked for a while… I was feeling a little under the weather yesterday, when he came, and he was able to see right through me from the start… you know, you’re the person I’ve only ever opened up to, but somehow the conversation kept going and it was oddly… comforting… and foreign… I did not know how to feel about it and that only added to my already unstable mood… he tried to comfort me at the best that he could but I’ve ended up doing something that made things even more awkward and I don’t know what to do… I’ve been thinking about it since last night… I don’t want to lose him.”
From the beginning, his tone of voice was really low, his gaze cast downwards. When he heard himself voice that last sentence, his cheeks became dusted with a light pink. He had said it. Could he even ask for something so selfish? He was the one who had messed up things.
William listened carefully to him, noticing his slight embarrassment at the last sentence. He smiled inwardly at that. A beat of silence passed, William waiting for Albert to gather his thoughts before speaking.
“From what I’ve gathered yesterday, he was more worried for you than anything. Whatever thing you’ve done, I don’t think it has made him dislike you. He was probably as uncertain as you. I don’t know the nature of your relationship with him, but once you’ve told me that he had written to you almost every day through the three years you’ve spent inside the Tower of London without ever expecting a reply. If he were to give up so easily on your bond, he wouldn’t have sent you all those letters. I think talking it over with him will mend up things. Besides, you’ve already given him the key to understand you when you opened up to him, and I deem him smart enough to realize what that means. So you shouldn’t punish yourself just because you’ve shown feelings. Bottling up won’t solve everything.”
Albert listened, his gaze idly following the patterns of the wooden floor while he tried to make sense of his brother’s words. Like always, he was undoubtedly right, but this time, he couldn’t bring himself to follow his suggestion. Could he really just ask forgiveness? Was he able to do that? He would step over his own pride at any given moment if it meant that he could do what he deemed right, but for some reason he couldn’t fathom how to do that right now. He knew that next time he’ll see Mycroft, he’ll make a fool out of himself yet again. Deep down he knew that asking for forgiveness wasn’t what he really wanted. For once, he wanted to be selfish and make an unreasonable request. One that will surely make Mycroft hate him. That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to follow his brother’s suggestion to meet up and talk. He knew that those thoughts, those feelings that were eating him from the inside, would finally come out like a tidal wave and drown Mycroft. He didn’t want that. He could withstand rejection but he wouldn’t bring down someone else with him. Not again. Not Mycroft. He could bear being the laughingstock of society for his preferences but he would never stain the image of Mycroft Holmes.
Seeing his brother zoning out, caught up in the eye of the storm that were his thoughts, William decided to speak up, clearing his throat to gain his attention, his tone even softer than before.
“Albert, is there something you’re not telling me? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’d like to be able to know what that brain of yours is thinking about.”
Albert met his gaze. Still caught up in his train of thoughts, before even realizing it, he blurted out a question.
“How did you and Sherlock end up the way you are? Has anyone ever judged you back when you were in America on your own?”
William seemed taken aback by the sudden question, but he quickly masked it. So that was what his brother was worrying over. It took him some time to phrase a proper reply, not wanting to be inaccurate and at the same time wanting to be straightforward.
“There wasn’t a proper beginning to it. Somehow, things went by naturally, in a domestic way, and before I knew it I had started considering Sherlock the most special person in my life outside of my family. He was the one who prompted me to talk about how I was feeling about us by sharing what he felt first. And I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared at first, but we made things work. It wasn’t all peaches and cream and a lot of times I was unsure on what to do or how to behave, everything was mostly foreign to me, but I trusted Sherlock, and in one way or another we managed. Sure, sometimes we got weird looks and stares when we were in public, since Sherlock isn’t the most subtle person on earth, but it wasn’t the end of the world.”
Albert listened to him, conflicting thoughts filling his mind. As soon as he heard William stop, he voiced some of them, for once the words coming out as soon as they were thought.
“But Mycroft isn’t Sherlock. He’s the Queen’s right hand, he has to act a certain way, I can’t possibly be honest with him, I can’t ruin his reputation. What I feel for him isn’t acceptable, I don’t want to turn him into a sodomite, make him become the laughingstock of London. I shouldn’t even be allowed to think such things. I shouldn’t even dream of this, be let to be this greedy, to desire something that isn’t bound to happen.”
His voice trailed off, his gaze cast downwards. After saying that he wasn’t even able to look at his brother. He felt filthy, unbelievably so. Did his self isolation finally make him go mad? He hoped all of this was just a trick of his sick mind. He couldn’t really be feeling affection? Love? For a man, his former boss at that, the brother of his brother’s partner. It all felt so wrong, he just wanted to snap out of it. What a cruel thing that was. It seemed like the hurt and pain he gave other people was finally coming right back at him. It served him right. He shouldn’t have let himself be this greedy and selfish. He could feel his hands starting to tremble in his lap and he closed his eyes in an attempt to stop his emotions from spilling out.
Seeing him like that, William was quick to grab a hold of one of Albert’s hands, his thumb drawing soothing circles on his palm while he replied, his tone quiet, seemingly afraid of scaring the other away.
“Albert, please, look at me. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling and you won’t ruin Mycroft by being honest with your feelings. Don’t be so hard on yourself, please. Mycroft cares a lot about you and he would never hate you even if you were honest with him, I can assure you that much. I won’t force you and I’ll respect whatever choice you’ll make, but you should think about talking to him, or you’ll never get over this.”
Albert looked up, the corners of his eyes slightly red. He then looked down again, saying, “I don’t want him to think lowly of me, but that is bound to happen if I’m going to be honest with him. He’ll be disgusted, grossed out at best. And I’ll deserve it. Maybe being outrightly rejected will do me some good though, maybe these ridiculous thoughts will disappear forever.” Maybe this is all a payback for what I’ve done. I deserve to suffer.
William looked at him. When Albert acted like that, the best route was to give him some time and space, hence he didn’t pressure him, saying, “whatever you’ll choose to do, and whatever the outcome, me and Louis will be there for you. But what you’re feeling is valid, and you aren’t gross or disgusting for being like this. You have a tendency to forget that, but you’re human too…” I just hope you won’t have to learn it the hard way.
Albert kept silent for a while. He had made up his mind.
“I want to meet him, as soon as possible. I don’t think I can withstand this any longer.” The quicker the rejection, the more time I’ll have to grieve. It’ll be hard, but these feelings were threatening to suffocate him. He couldn’t keep being this emotional just because of some ridiculous feelings. He had to put an end to it, even if it hurt.
William gave him a small nod, replying, “alright. I’ll tell Sherlock to make Mycroft come here one of these days.”
He was still worried for his brother, but he felt like he could trust Mycroft. He had already done his part, so now it was his turn. He just hoped things would work out.
Some time after their conversation, Louis and Sherlock came back, with Louis being clearly irritated, but trying to not show it. The remaining part of the morning went by with idle chatting that covered some details that were left out from the brief summary of their adventures in America.
When Sherlock left after borrowing Albert’s book, Albert retreated to his room, wanting to spend some time alone until dinner.
He was laying down on his bed, feeling the soft silk of the sheets with hands. He sighed, his gaze unfocused. He was really about to do that, huh? Ruining what Mycroft thought of him and putting him into a tight spot in order to ruin their friendship? Bond? He didn’t want to lose him, but he couldn’t keep giving himself useless hopes. It was better to be outrightly rejected and cut ties. He closed his eyes. Even if he had found his resolve, he still felt helpless. He was useless, a poor excuse of a human, the very fact that Mycroft had stuck with him for so long was enough proof, he was so pitiful that even someone like the older Holmes felt the urge to comfort him. And what did he do to thank him? He abused the intimacy the other had granted him. He shouldn’t have let his tongue run freely like that, but he was going to fix it, once and for all. His mind kept fabricating the worst scenarios, trying to brace him for the rejection he was sure he would receive. At some point during that he fell asleep, still fully clothed, skipping dinner.
He woke up early in the morning the next day, feeling as if he had not slept at all. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, feeling his head pounding. Great. It took him a while before finally finding the resolve to get out of bed and start his day. He went through his usual morning routine before finally going downstairs. He saw William sipping tea at the kitchen table, reading a book. When the other saw him approach, he raised his head, smiling at him.
“Good morning. Slept well?”
Albert took a seat at the kitchen table after pouring himself a cup of tea before returning the blonde’s smile with a small one of his son.
“Somehow. I was certainly tired.”
William gave him a long look before speaking.
“Last night Sherlock dropped by again some time after dinner, he said Mycroft would come this afternoon. Coincidentally at that time I have to go with Louis to discuss with Herder the details about one of his new inventions, so we won’t be home.”
Albert paused at that. Well, the time had come sooner than expected, and his brother had planned to give him some privacy too. That was… great. He will probably have time to regain his composure before his brothers came home. It was perfectly planned, he couldn’t have hoped for a better situation… right?
The thought of finally getting left behind by Mycroft still made him somewhat bitter. He had found his resolve. It was better to end things quickly, so why did it suddenly feel so hard to do so? Was he afraid of loneliness? He had overcome that, he would learn to leave without him, like he always did. That’s right, he was used to it, to being lonely. It’ll be alright. His rejection won’t hurt that much since he’s expecting it.
The morning went by quickly, Albert somehow managing to push those thoughts in the back of his mind. Afternoon came in the blink of an eye and he was now sitting on the couch, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. It was finally that moment. He had rehearsed what to say a thousand times now. It’ll be alright.
He suddenly heard a knock on the front door and he quickly went to open it. A tall figure was standing straight at the doorstep, their eyes locking as soon as it was possible to do so. Seeing those deep blue irises, Albert’s mind blanked out. Out of habit though, he moved away from the entrance, saying, “I see you’ve come. Please, come in and take a seat.”
Mycroft didn’t say anything and just nodded politely, taking a seat on the same armchair from two days prior. Albert bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep himself grounded as he sat across from the other. He closed his eyes, taking a deep break.
“Mycroft-“
“Al-“
They both stopped, staring at each other in silence.
Albert was the first one to break the tension, his voice low, not able to look at the other.
“I’m terribly sorry for what happened the other day, I’ve let myself go a little too much and made you uncomfortable. It’s entirely my fault, and it’ll never happen again.”
Hearing those words Mycroft softened his gaze, his voice gentle.
“Al, don’t speak like that. It’s human to have weaknesses, no matter how much one tries to keep them hidden, buried deep down inside of them. You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I was just surprised. I should be the one asking for forgiveness, I didn’t know how to handle all of that and I might’ve crossed a line.”
Albert could feel himself tense at that, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve, keeping it between his thumb and index finger. He opened his mouth, wanting to speak, but the voice didn’t come out. How pitiful he was. He tried again, this time a quiet sound, almost a whisper came out.
“I… there’s something you need to know… about me…”
Albert finally raised his head, making eye contact with the other. He felt his stomach churn and he wanted to throw up. The other was holding such a sweet and care-filled gaze, he suddenly didn’t want to talk anymore. He didn’t want to lose the only person that cared so much for him other than his brothers. How disgusting he was for even making the thoughts he was about to voice. But he didn’t want to deceive Mycroft anymore. The other had already seen him crack, this was just the final step to make him realize how filthy and unworthy of his care he really was. Then, everything will be gone, and he’ll be alone once again. He had to bite the inside of his cheek until he felt the bitter taste of blood on his tongue before being finally able to open his mouth. Mycroft watched him struggle to find the correct words silently, his gaze unmoving.
“I don’t really know where to start since what I’m about to tell you doesn’t have a real beginning, so I’ll just tell you following my own personal order of things. Do you recall what I told you the other day, about the fact that I was like a domesticated caged bird? Well it wasn’t exactly wrong, but there’s more to it. When I lived in solitude inside the Tower of London, those letters you sent me, to which I’ve never replied, were the only thing keeping me going. I had never wished for freedom, but a bird ought to feel lonely while left inside a cage. Those letters were the only things keeping me from going insane. Even if I’ve never felt worthy enough to answer them, I’ve always treasured them. Having that one sided dialogue helped me understand you so much better and I was really glad. I respected you, admired you even, but then something changed. I started to look forward to every letter, hoping that you would include another piece of yourself, and like that something started to grow inside of me. At some point what I was feeling for you wasn’t admiration anymore, but something radically different. A strong type of affection perhaps. I could feel you grieve your brother and suddenly I wanted to be there with you, walking you through it. When you talked about your job, I wished I was there to give you advices, even if I knew you had much more experience. I let myself be greedy, wishing to be by your side and all of that burst out while we were talking. Influenced by my other feelings, I did something I shouldn’t have, and even if you forgive me, I am not worthy of your grace. It wasn’t a mistake, I did that purposefully. My feelings for you go beyond friendship, and now you're probably disgusted or shocked, but I felt like you needed to know that. You won’t owe me an explanation if you decide to never see me again.”
With that Albert stopped, going back to looking down, his breath made erratic by the anxiety coursing through his body. He didn’t dare to look at the other, he was sure he would only feel worse if he did. He waited patiently for the final judgment to come, almost unable to breathe. The silence stretched out and it seemed like it wouldn’t come. After a long while he finally mustered the courage to look up and he was met with the other’s ever unwavering gaze. When Mycroft saw that Albert was finally looking at him, he spoke. His voice was measured, as if he was weighing every word on a scale before pronouncing it.
“When I started to send you those letters, my only concern was your well-being. In all those years we’ve worked together, I thought I had got a grasp of your personality, and I knew I wouldn’t have been able to talk you out of giving yourself that self punishment, so I had decided to respect your choice. Even so, I couldn’t help but feel a slight worry for you, I wanted to be able to show you that I was still by your side, hence I started to write you those letters. That soliloquy soon brought me to open up too and be more vulnerable with you, so what you felt while reading them wasn’t unjustified, but I’m digressing. What I’m trying to say Al, is that you shouldn’t feel like that about yourself. If you’re at fault, then I am too. Back then, I needed someone to talk to, and slowly you became that silent listener. You may know it, but I’m not someone who’s able to easily voice his thoughts when they regard what I’m feeling. Even now, I might not be approaching this discussion in the best way possible, but I hope my point is getting through. Albert, you aren’t the only one who feels a peculiar closeness between us, and it would be hypocritical finding you disgusting if I’m feeling the same.”
When Albert heard that last sentence, he could feel his head starting to spin. What was happening? Where was the rejection? Why did it seem as if Mycroft was apologizing? He hadn’t done anything wrong. Did he perhaps phrase his feelings wrong earlier? He bit his lip, his voice uncertain.
“Mycroft, you… what I meant is that I…” his voice died down before finishing the sentence “I feel a romantic pull towards you, not just a friendly attachment.” The word “love” couldn't leave his mouth. Saying it would make it too real.
Mycroft looked at him, tilting his head slightly, almost confused.
“I do too.”
Albert stared at him, his mind suddenly going radio silent, the fault being once again of the man that was looking at him with those deep blue eyes. Mycroft noticed it and decided to deliver the final blow.
“Albert, I want to be in a romantic relationship with you, that was what my words were trying to convey earlier.”
The brunette seemed to be in another dimension, thoughts starting to race through his mind at those words. Did he hear that right? How could that be? Someone as distinguished as Mycroft couldn’t really be saying those words to him, a worthless former noble and murderer. It wasn’t really happening.
After studying Albert’s face, he finally decided to act. He knew the other was spiraling. He leaned closer, taking his hands in his from across the coffee table separating them. He let his thumbs rub the back of the other’s hand before saying, trying to sound as gentle as possible.
“Care to let me in your thoughts?”
Feeling the subtle gesture, Albert seemed to be calming down. He took a deep breath before starting to speak his mind, his gaze unfocused.
“Why are you telling me this? Is it out of pity? Do I look that pitiful? Besides, being with me will only cause you trouble. You should find yourself someone else.”
Mycroft listened quietly before replying.
“I am not doing this out of pity. If I didn’t like you, I would’ve already cut ties. And why did you tell me first if you’re worried about my reputation?”
Albert kept silent. He knew that the other wasn’t lying, but he didn’t know how to react. After a while he spoke again, his voice quivering.
“Because I thought you would have rejected me and left me behind.”
“Why? Because I have an image to uphold? Because then I would be labeled as a sodomite? I think deep down you know that I’ve always cared about you, even if you considered it just a friendly act. Even if I weren’t interested, I would never leave you for something so trivial.”
Albert could feel himself waver at the other’s words. He was too kind and patient with him. He didn’t deserve that. His grip slightly tightened around the other’s hands before he said.
“And what if I tell you that I want this too? What then? I’m useless and unstable, being with me will only burden you. Why do you even like me?”
“You aren’t. I like you because you’re cunning and sensitive. You perceive others a lot better than I do and you always do your best to help them out or achieve your goals. And if you’ll let me, I’ll try to help you overcome the state in which you’re stuck. I want to be there for you. You always take care of others and not yourself, hence I’ll be the one caring for you.”
He emphasized the point by gently squeezing his hands. Albert didn’t know how to feel. Unbeknownst to him, warm tears started to roll down his cheeks. Wonderful, it seemed like he couldn’t talk heart to heart with Mycroft without tearing up. The other quickly noticed it and got up, taking a seat next to him and cradling him in his arms. Albert rested his face against his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his torso. After some time, a whisper came from below Mycroft.
“All right. We’ll try this out, if that’s what you wish.”
It took him everything he had to not start sobbing while speaking those words. The truth was that he still wasn’t sure about the ordeal, but he found himself trusting Mycroft. If that’s what the other wanted, then so be it. He didn’t want the other to suffer from unrequited love. He leaned himself slightly closer, the other’s warm body reassuring him as he exhaled quietly, trying not to sob. Mycroft just nodded, one of his hands starting to brush through Albert’s brown locks. The latter closed his eyes, the two days of anxiety filled sleep finally catching up as he let himself unravel between those arms. In a matter of minutes he was napping against Mycroft. The mentioned let his hands rest on the other’s waist once he was sure the other was asleep and closed his eyes, resting his back against the couch.
When William and Louis came back, they found the two fast asleep against each other in the living room. William smiled and closed the door, warning Louis not to wake them. It seemed like things had been resolved for the better.