Chapter Text
The air was warm, peculiar weather for a day in mid-autumn. The former arkers strolled around the small territory in short-sleeved shirts instead of long sleeves, and even the guards had their jacket sleeves scrunched up to their elbows.
Monty didn’t like days like these. Warm ones, to be more clear. They reminded him of Mount Weather; it was always warm in there. And Mount Weather reminded him of what he did. He killed them.
Well, not directly. He didn’t exactly aim a gun at each of their heads and pull the trigger. But, then again, he kind of did. He made it possible for their lungs to deflate and not inflate ever again.
Of course, nobody knew of Monty’s inner struggle.
His best friend–or former one–was no longer speaking to him. Because Monty killed his girlfriend. Again, not directly. She was in Mount Weather.
Clarke had left camp after she pulled the lever that halted oxygen flow into Mount Weather and Bellamy was too busy distracting himself from the fact that he too pulled that lever and from the fact that Clarke was nowhere to be seen.
Then there was Miller. Monty could no way in hell talk about his struggle with Miller. Well, with little problems, maybe. But definitely not Mount Weather struggles. He couldn’t blatantly discuss how he killed hundreds of people to the boy he was basically in love with.
Okay, maybe ‘in love with’ was a bit of a stretch. Monty had strong feelings for Miller was probably a better way of saying it.
Miller was just–in Monty’s words–perfect. He was moody and didn’t show many emotions, but he smiled with Monty. He didn’t let his tough boy façade overshadow his real self when he was with Monty. At least, most of the time.
And Monty wanted so badly to tell Miller what he was battling with, but he couldn’t handle the thought of Miller treating him differently. Deep down, of course, Monty knows that Miller wouldn’t treat him differently, but Monty’s hectic brain never did him much good.
Everyone knew what Monty did, how his knowledge of technology helped him kill all those people. They congratulated him and thanked him for it, and they knew what he did. But no one seemed to see how he was dealing with it.
“Hey, Monty!” A voice called from the perimeter, only mere yards away from where Monty was leaning against the medical center.
Monty recognized the voice immediately, and he turned his head towards Miller. “Hi, Nate,” he replied, oh so softly but audible enough for Miller to hear, and gave the boy a smile.
Monty noticed the faint twitches of a smile at the ends of Miller’s mouth, something that always seemed to appear when Monty called him by his first name.
“Come keep me company. I’m bored and I’m stuck on duty without anyone,” his lips quirked up into a small smile, barely noticeable to anyone but Monty.
“Yeah, okay,” Monty offered a smile back and the two started back to Miller’s original position.
“Monty!” A sigh came from said boy when he heard his name shouted from behind them.
“Yes, Bellamy?” He replied reluctantly while turning around.
“We need your help. Now.”
Monty looked over at Miller, almost for permission to go, and Miller nodded.
“It’s fine. I’ll catch up with you later,” Miller said and made Monty’s heart nearly jump out of his chest.
“Thanks, Nate,” he gave him a smile quickly before following after Bellamy.
“You need to learn how to be less obvious,” Bellamy chuckled and shook his head.
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone can tell that you’re in love with him, Monty.”
“I’m not in love with him,” Monty replied defensively, and very unconvincingly. But, really, he wasn’t in love with him. (Yet.)
“Mhm,” Bellamy’s smirk grew and Monty knocked their shoulders together.
“Whatever. What do you need help with?”
“We need you to fix the car radio. Raven’s finally resting and we don’t want to bother her.”
Monty sputtered. “That’s what you interrupted me for?!”
“Yes,” Bellamy replied warily. “We’re going to Sector 7 tomorrow, so I figured it’d be nice to have some music on the way. You know, to calm the nerves.”
“Sector 7?” Monty’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why would we go to Sector 7?”
“We think Farm Station might be-”
“Farm Station? That’s where-” Monty interrupted.
“Where you’re from, I know. And Miller’s boyfriend’s from there, too.” He sent a slight glare to Monty that the boy didn’t notice.
“Boyfriend,” he mumbled under his breath and only allowed himself a few seconds to be upset.
He should’ve known that Miller had someone on the Ark. Look at him, Monty thought.
“Uh,” Monty said, his brows still furrowed and mind still cluttered. “When are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning. Be ready by 8, okay?” Bellamy continued to stare at Monty.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll just, uh, go fix the radio,” he pointed his thumb toward the vehicle and walked off, leaving Bellamy behind.
It took only minutes to fix the simple contraption with Monty’s knowledge, and he walked aimlessly when he was done.
He wound up outside of the perimeter of the camp after convincing one of the guards to let him roam free, and he found himself sitting against one of the bigger, taller trees that he sometimes came to with Miller.
He let himself explore his thoughts, considering he rarely got opportunities like these–to be alone and just think.
Of course, the moment was ruined within seconds by–take a guess–the boy Monty was pining after.
“Mm, I knew I’d find you here,” Miller greeted with a smirk and Monty couldn’t help it. He smiled.
“You know me so well, Nate,” Monty joked, and again, the small flickers of a genuine smile.
“Mhm,” he hummed and sat next to Monty.
This was why they liked this tree. It was wide enough for both of them to sit next to each other, and Monty especially liked it because it wasn’t so wide that they didn’t have to squish together to fit.
“Aren’t you on guard duty?” Monty asked and turned his head at the same time that Miller did, making him suck in a quiet breath at their close proximity. Monty thought he saw a small smile on Miller’s face.
“I got Bellamy to cover for me. You gotta have someone to protect you out here,” another smirk appeared and it took all of Monty’s strength not to lean forward and kiss him right on the mouth.
Monty was speechless at his last comment.
“Now, why don’t you tell me why you’re out here all alone?” He gave Monty a pointed look.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
You. “Nothing specific.”
“Are you okay?”
No. “Did you hear about Farm Station?” Monty said instead.
A pause. “What about it?” Miller stared at Monty with wide eyes.
“Bellamy said they might be in Sector 7. We’re going tomorrow,” Monty waited for a comment about his boyfriend, but it didn’t come.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Monty couldn’t help himself. “Isn’t your boyfriend from there?”
Miller looked shocked at the question. “Uh, yeah. You’re from there, too, right?”
“Mhm,” Monty hummed. They sat in silence. Monty didn’t know for how long.
A shout of Miller’s name replenished the noise and both boys stood.
They walked back to camp at a fast pace, again in silence. It wasn’t awkward silence, though. It was comfortable.
“Hey, Miller!” Jasper.
“Jordan,” Miller nodded and glanced quickly over at Monty, who was next to him with a nervous expression.
“I have a question for you,” Jasper groggily pointed his finger into Miller’s chest.
Monty sighed, frustrated. “You’re drunk again, aren’t you?”
“Hey, now,” Jasper moved his finger to point into Monty’s chest, now. “I wasn’t talking to you.”
“C’mon, let’s get you to medical,” Monty reached out to wrap an arm around Jasper, but the intoxicated boy pushed the arm away.
“Don’t you touch me,” he spat and backed away from them.
“Jas,-”
“No! No. Don’t you call me that. You killed her. You killed her!” Jasper’s voice grew loud and raspy, drawing the attention of the people surrounding them. Monty almost didn’t notice when Miller’s voice tried to yell over Jasper’s.
“Jordan, don’t say another word!” Monty barely heard Miller say and he felt a hand on his shoulder–Miller’s hand–but it felt like it wasn’t even there.
Jasper’s voice still prevailed over the others. “This is your fault. You did this. You’re the reason she’s dead, you son of a-”
“Jasper!” Bellamy appeared right before the curse word could leave Jasper’s mouth. “Let’s go, buddy.”
He wrapped an arm around Jasper’s shoulders–this one he didn’t push away–and guided him to medical, but only after three more words could be spoken by Monty’s former best friend.
“You’re a murderer.”
Monty just stared after him.