Chapter Text
Zach glared distastefully at the bright object resting on his obsidian island counter. The neat little note mocked him, daring him to read the reason for the pink storybook’s sudden appearance in his house and kitchen. It was so out of place it hurt…
The fancy gold heart and blue slipper on the cover told him exactly what it was and what its contents held. And he didn’t even need the note to tell him why it was here.
“I’m gonna kill him…” Zach muttered hatefully as his green eyes narrowed slightly at the offending book Rascal had no doubt brought into his dark-clad living space as the ‘favor’ he was calling in.
When the jester had requested for Zach and Starscream’s help with one of his plots, he had expected an experiment with one of the artificial minions he usually created. Or maybe test a potion one of his comrades created, or another form of magic nonsense that would make the two science-oriented minds spin.
But a storybook? Rascal’s most recent failure must’ve stung deeper than Zach thought. From the way the clown acted a few weeks ago about his latest plan to create worldwide despair failing, Zach was already piecing together what it was for.
‘Brought the book right to them- gave them the perfect in- all they had to do was change the ending, but no! That was far too difficult- Took me years to finally get into that stupid Library too…’
“I’m going to kill him…” Zach said a little louder, scoffing as he shook his head and placed his hands on his hips. Turning his glare to the floor as he turned away, he proclaimed ever louder, “I am going to KILL HIM.”
Zach was so deep in his disbelief and refusal of the situation he didn’t hear his front door open as a certain robot scurried his way inside and slammed it closed. Muttering about how Zach really needed to find a more discreet way for him to get inside, Starscream glanced around the grey walled foyer looking for his two usual companions.
Rascal would usually teleport to the entrance to sarcastically greet him with that dumb smile of his about now, and Starscream found himself pleasantly disappointed at the lack of the joker’s presence at his arrival. Confused though, hadn’t Rascal called him here to help with something..?
Growing increasingly more suspicious, Starscream’s red optics glanced around the seemingly quiet area as he started slowly moving through the house looking for Zach.
Then the seeker promptly jumped at the familiar sound of Zach screaming in rage. Recollecting himself with a sneer, Starscream raced towards the origin of the sound, slamming the double doors to the kitchen open and screeching to a halt in a defensive position for whatever awaited him.
Zach had his arms crossed and was facing him, eyes narrowed with an angered frown as a faint shade of pink faded from his face. Starscream, annoyed Zach startled him over seemingly nothing, grit his denta as he forced out rapid-fire questions, “What’s wrong? Where’s Rascal? Why are you screaming?”
Zach simply stepped aside and pointed at a bright pink book on his counter. Starscream stared at it, not quite comprehending what he was looking at.
Optics flicking between the human and the book, Starscream concluded slowly, “That’s it? Is that the answer to my last question or all of them?”
“All of them.” Zach confirmed loathingly, his body beginning to shake as he waited for Starscream to put the pieces together.
The seeker straightened himself from his position and stood tall and confused. It took another few seconds, the distant sound of a clock ticking filling the void as Zach started tapping his foot impatiently. Finally, Starscream’s optics narrowed as he tilted his helm.
“… don’t tell me Rascal pulled me from my duties for a bedtime story.”
“Oh no, it’s worse than that.”
“Explain,” Starscream snapped, growing irritated he was risking wing and limb for Rascal’s incompetence.
“Remember when Rascal showed up a few weeks ago pissed beyond all belief?” Zach started.
Starscream nodded slowly, “His comrades skewed what, according to him, was a fool-proof plan.”
“Yes, well,” Zach clapped his hands together as he gestured to the book with an irritated smile, “Looks like Rascal needs our help to fix their folly. At our expense.”
Starscream’s wings dropped with his expression as it finally clicked, “Oh, now we’re the fools for the fool-proof plan-”
“Yup!”
“Oh absolutely not-”
“Yuppers!”
They both stood in silence for a moment after the conclusion, both staring disdainfully at the pretty pink covered book. After about five minutes of glaring at the book, Starscream shook his helm.
“… How… angry…” the mech started cautiously, “Do you think he’d be if we just…”
Zach turned to him with a raised eyebrow as Starscream finished with an exaggerated hand gesture, “Y’know, threw it away? Burned it? Didn’t do what he asked and destroyed it?”
Zach sighed and covered his eyes as he waved his hand dismissively, “No, Starscream, we can’t just destroy an origin story. It’ll probably destroy all the Cinderella books all around the world if we did that. And put us on the target list for the Glitter Gal Pals.”
It was Starscream’s turn to raise an optic ridge, questioning accusingly, “How would you know?”
“Rascal talks to me,” Zach stated matter-of-factly, curiously furrowing his brows as he asked, “What? You and Rascal don’t explain things to each other when you're curious about something?”
Starscream didn’t say anything to that, optics darting away as he tried to nonchalantly avoid eye contact.
“…Starscream, look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t waste all of Rascal’s time venting to him-”
“Oh, would you look at the time-” the seeker tittered nervously as he interrupted, pushing past Zach and grabbing him along the way to examine the book, “You know, I only have a set amount of time before I need to get back, and Rascal would probably appreciate our help with this little… adventure! Since you seem to know so much about the magic nonsense, how about you kick things off, yes?”
Pushing his human companion in front of the book like a human shield, Starscream’s claws dug into Zach’s sweater with a clear, ‘please just drop it, I know I’m an asshole, but if I do this then that means I’m good…’
“You fucking sycophant…” Zach rolled his eyes at the seeker’s sudden switch-up as he carefully removed the note and picked up the book, examining the well-kept cover as Starscream’s grip loosened and his helm dropped to join the inspection.
Humming, Zach turned the book over to see the blank back, before looking over at the note in his other hand to read it. Rascal’s neat handwriting jumped at him, the cursive being quite easy to read for Zach yet still impressing him with the calligraphy. Not too fancy, but nothing to call plain or boring either. Just like the writer.
“What does it say? I can’t read it…” Starscream prompted, scrunching his optics as he tried to make sense of the curves and twists of the letters.
Zach hoped Starscream could feel how hard he rolled his eyes as he groaned, focusing on the note and starting in the most even tone he could muster:
“‘My dear friends, as you know I’ve called for a favor regarding a plan of mine. While I wasn’t successful in my last run, I believe that you two, competent as you are, can help me turn this tale on its head! An exciting story featuring us three as the catalyst for, while it may not be an unhappy end, an unsatisfactory one. A fun child’s tale, after all, isn’t much of a fun child’s tale if it has plot holes and unsavory characters, now is it?
I already await you inside, and by all means, please, be as you as you can! And do try to have fun, it’s been a while since I’ve hosted a ball!
Love Yours truly, Rascal’”
“I see that scratched out ‘love’, clown…” Starscream teased to no one with a smile pulling at his faceplates. Zach couldn’t help but smirk as well as he carefully folded the note and carefully replaced it on the counter.
Holding the book with both hands, Zach’s glare returned as he pouted. Tapping the side considering the pros and cons of his next decision, he finally sighed and opened the cover to the first page. The picture of the iconic bright blue glass slipper greeted him as an ethereal glow surrounded the borders.
“So… what do we do now?”
“I’m not sure…” Zach admitted as he turned the book side to side, even upside down trying to figure out how to activate the magic whatever. Portal? Trance? He had absolutely no idea what Rascal meant by ‘inside’. Unless he meant…
Turning the book rightside up again, Zach supported the spine of the book in one hand as his other cautiously hovered over the picture of the slipper.
With a sigh, Zach muttered, “I feel like I’m going to hate every moment of this…”
“Oh, of course,” Starscream agreed with a helm tap to the side of Zach’s head, “But I also feel like one day, we’re going to look at this and laugh. It’ll be funny then.”
“But not today…” the human mused, already regretting his decision to play along with the joker’s game.
“Oh no, today’s going to be a disaster.”
Finally resting his hand on the page, Zach could feel the small tug of magic pulling it… inside.
A moment later his entire arm felt like it was forcibly grabbed as he and the seeker were pulled inside, like the page was a door of sorts.
The now empty kitchen was silent except for the sound of the book snapping shut and falling to the floor with a muffled thud.
——
—-
—
Zach groaned at the smell of ash and soot, eyes blearily blinking open to a room of charcoal and wood.
Sitting up from what seemed like a simple wooden cot, he stretched his arms above his head and groaned at the feeling of his body popping back to comfortability. Glancing around, the room was indeed filled with ash, wood, and charcoal, and a single wooden door that he assumed led to the rest of the house. What he hoped was a house. If Rascal turned this bedtime story into a horror house disaster he was going to be very unhappy.
Moving to stand up, he felt the swish of fabric and- Wait a damn minute-
The moment Zach looked down, he let out a mortified scream and jumped up. Grabbing handfuls of the raggedy fabric, he moved it from side to side, pulling it up and around to see he was, indeed, in a simple grey dress. It wasn’t even a nice dress! A soot covered apron was an accessory that was the last thing he noticed as he fitfully grabbed it and stared in disbelief.
His hands and arms were covered in soot too-
A moment of absolute dread filled him as more pieces fell into place. He was the Cinderella of the story.
“I’m gonna cry…” Zach whispered as red flooded his face and tears did indeed gather in his eyes, looking around to see a mirror he missed stuffed in the back corner of the room.
Approaching it, he stared at his ash covered face and disheveled hair, green eyes staring back with horror at the sorry state the robotics inventor found himself in. For someone of his status, his standing in the world, Zach felt personally insulted. He was a rich, spoiled man. This wouldn’t do at all! Why couldn’t he be the evil stepmother or something!? An evil stepsister! Hell, he’d settle for the Fairy Godmother role, or even-
“And do try to have fun!” Rascal’s words repeated, mocking him, “It’s been awhile since I’ve hosted a ball!”
The prince. Rascal was playing the prince.
Dread was replaced with rage. Zach’s reflection mirrored his realization, and a spark of that anger ignited in his eyes as he grit his teeth at the thought.
“Rascal, you son of a bitch!” turning on his thankfully shoed feet, he stormed toward the door. An approaching hurricane. Throwing the door open, Zach stepped into a huge brightly lit Victorian foyer, the ceiling towering far over him as he stopped a moment to inspect his surroundings.
Oddly enough, it seemed empty. And he’d admit, it was a pretty sight. Shame he wasn’t dressed for occasion!
Zach was absolutely seething at that. Storming up the two steps that separated his ‘room’ from the rest of the house, he stomped one foot down and placed his hands on his hips defiantly, looking around.
As far as he knew, Starscream, Rascal, and himself were the only ones in this story. So did that mean no evil step family?
Taking a moment more of glaring around, he snapped out a loud reverberating, “Hey!”
Zach could hear it echo and bounce around the house. Nothing happened. If he remembered the story correctly, Cinderella was treated horribly by her step family, so that meant if he acted out of line… would they show up to berate him?
Emerald eyes, now shining with mischief and curiosity, trailed from the stairs he was watching for any appearances to a sky blue vase that was sitting tall and pretty on a small round table. It was across the foyer beside what he assumed to be the huge double doors to the outside. Interesting.
Interesting, interesting, interesting…
He mused silently to himself as he innocently clasped his hands behind his back and pulled his eyes away in a mock manner, examining the crystal chandelier above him as he slowly started nonchalantly striding to the vase. As he reached it, he glanced back at it, wondering how much decorum was required for this stunt.
Narrowing his eyes with a hum, he tilted his head before looking to the doors beside him. He hoped they would lead outside. If it was more of the house or where the supposed step family was hiding, things could go very bad very fast.
A few more glances and consideration, Zach finally thought, ‘Fuck it,’ and shrugged, batting the vase off the table with a satisfied smile. The loud crash that resulted had to have drawn attention. As he stood by the mess ever so proud of himself though, no one arrived to investigate.
Frowning and looking around, his smile returned, smug as could be as he turned and opened the double doors.
The cool air of night hit him. And looky look. A huge palace, probably miles upon miles away, rose in the distance and taunted him.
A pout formed as he crossed his arms and glared at the castle. How could it be so close yet so far?
“Unbelievable…” he mumbled bitterly as he uncrossed his arms and grasped at his dress, strolling down the entrance stairs and to the grassy well-kept lawn examining the area. A garden farther to his right next to the house, and a well directly to his left in front of him. A thought from earlier struck him as he continued looking around at the forest that bordered the property.
If he was Cinderella, and Rascal was the prince, where, or who in this demented tale was Starscream?
“…Starscream?” Zach called out tentatively as he wandered closer to the well. Stopping beside it, he glanced around again, growing anxious. It was dark, cold, and at any moment a fairy would show up to whisk him away in a gown and carriage to get to the palace. What would happen to the mech-
As if summoned by the thought, a distant familiar scream sounded. Zach looked around absolutely bewildered before he locked in on the direction it was coming from. Above him? Taking a few steps forward before looking up-
All he saw was a streak of light flash down and disappear behind him as the well seemingly exploded with Starscream’s startled shriek popping fully into existence. Well, whatever happened, he was here now…
Turning around to the ruins of the well as debris continued to rain down around him, he caught sight of his robotic companion dazed and splayed over the rocks. But what he was wearing was-
“Ohho my god…” Zach trailed off in a fit of giggles as Starscream groaned and flopped over to his knees, forcing himself to a wobbly kneel as he tried to recollect himself.
“What..? Zach, is that yo-” Starscream stopped short once he registered what his human was wearing, shock etching across his faceplates when he saw how dirty he was. Zach was a clean sort of human, and he wouldn’t be caught dead in that sort of attire. Starting again, Starscream demanded, “What happened to you? Why are you dressed like that?”
Zach stopped giggling, scoffing with a frown as he crossed his arms with an offended look, “I woke up like this. What happened to you and why are you dressed like a goth hooker?”
The SIC stopped at that, giving him a confused look before standing up straight and giving himself a once over look.
Thigh high stockings held up by straps attached to a loose belt adorned his legs and waist, his peds left untouched thankfully. A fancy corset with a trailing tailcoat squeezed his waist, not uncomfortably, but it did confuse him. Reaching up to pressure around his neck, he found a lacy choker of sorts decorating him. And from what he could see, he had a Victorian top, puffy sleeves and his chassis covered by the more modest shirt, tucked neatly by the red corset. His wings were free to move and twitch as they pleased, another thing the seeker was thankful for.
“Well, isn’t that interesting…” Starscream mused as a sort of smile crossed his features, his ego inflating as Zach glared at him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Zach-a-by, I look fantastic. I think you’re just jealous I’m clean!”
Pink dusted Zach’s face at that and the nickname, both reminding him of his earlier rage.
“Don’t use Rascal’s nickname for me. I’m so pissed at him right now I think I might scream.”
“Seems like you were right then, Zach, you are going to hate every moment of this!”
Groaning, Zach crumpled into a ball, crouching and wrapping his arms around his legs as he pouted. Starscream laughed and strode over in his, Zach really didn’t want to acknowledge it, handsome attire. Crouching in front of him with a loving smile, he reached out and tousled Zach’s already messy hair.
“Don’t worry, Zach. I’m sure this nightmare will be over soon enough. As soon as we find Rascal-”
“He’s the prince.”
Starscream stopped at Zach’s depressed interjection and moved his claws to gently cradle his face, “What do you mean?”
Zach groaned louder as he looked up at the mech, “You never read ‘Cinderella’ did you? Did you even see the movies?”
Shaking his helm, Starscream replied innocently, “No, I haven’t. But considering you know more than me, it’s not going to be simple finding our dear demented joker, is it?”
“No,” Zach smiled tiredly, “No it is not.”
“Okay…” Pursing his ‘lips’ Starscream looked up examining the landscape. Catching sight of the castle, he ventured, “You said Rascal was the prince. I’m assuming he’s in the castle then?”
“Uh huh.”
“So we have to get to the castle!”
“First we need to find the Fairy Godmother.”
Blinking slowly, Starscream looked back at Zach, who was trying to keep a straight face at the alien’s expression, “I’m sorry, the fragging what?”
That was enough to force more broken giggles out of Zach as he pulled away and covered his mouth, tears of amusement from the shocked seeker’s response breaking him, “The- The Fairy Godmother, she- she uses magic to help Cinderella fix her dress, gives her the glass slippers, and get a carriage so she can get to the ball- oh my god, your face-”
Starscream’s half-lidded unamused expression during Zach’s explanation caused him to start laughing out loud, the seeker’s wings dropping as he watched his human break down.
“Okay. Got it,” Starscream rolled his optics as he stood up and looked around disdainfully, “So where is this ‘Fairy Godmother’?”
“Heh, uhm, I-I’m not sure…” Zach snickered as he looked around as well.
Standing and smoothing out his apron and dress, he joined in the search for the magic woman meant to take them to the palace. Unfortunately, the more he looked around, the more uncertain he was that he’d actually find anyone. Starscream’s luck was going the same way, the bordered property growing smaller with every slight turn the pair made. Neither of them suggested searching the woods. Staring out into the dark void of trees surrounding the area, it felt cold just looking at it. Not night cold. Death cold. So that wasn’t an option, primal instinct said no.
Finally an irritated groan escaped Zach, who shook his head as he turned his attention to the demolished well. Examining what was left of the structure, his attention focused on what looked like a twig. No, not a twig… far too polished…
Walking over to the wooden object, he knelt down to examine it, eyes starting to widen as he realized what it was. A manic smile spread across his face as he whispered delighted, “No fucking way.”
Starscream slowly turned to his companion with a concerned expression at Zach’s delighted mutterings, as he usually did. When the human got excited like that, it usually meant something happened, and most of the time nothing one would consider ‘good’.
“What is it, Zach?”
“Found the Fairy Godmother!”
“Really?” Starscream’s optics widened as he approached Zach, who stood up with a stick in his hand. Stopping in front of him, the seeker glanced around curiously. There didn’t seem to be anyone around… “So… where is she?”
Zach held out the stick to Starscream with a self-satisfied grin, hand on his hip like he cracked the case wide open. With a raised optic ridge, the mech took the fragile polished twig with a frown.
“…Zach.”
“Yes?”
“This is a stick,” Starscream pointed out matter-of-factly.
“That is a wand. A magic wand,” Zach corrected giddily, “You know who uses a magic wand?”
Starscream’s wings dropped as he glanced at the wand, understanding, “… the Fairy Godmother-”
“The Fairy Godmother!” Zach crowed along happily as he clapped his hands together and Starscream finished his sentence with a defeated, “-Goddamnit.”
“Okay, Mr. Godfather, magic us up!”
Pouting at the human, Starscream insisted, “Zach.”
Pausing his little victory, Zach looked up and hummed sweetly as he continued, “I have no idea how to use magic.”
The world shattered as Zach comprehended what that meant. Starscream, the alien robot ex-scientist-turned-commander from a mechanical world, didn’t know how to use interdimensional magic. The story, as of now, couldn’t continue. They couldn’t progress.
Collapsing to the ground, Zach laid on his back staring up at a starless sky trying to figure out what to do. Starscream sighed as he carefully laid down on his side facing him, laying a comforting servo over his companion’s stomach.
They didn’t say anything for a moment, both contemplating how to resolve this issue. Starscream presented the first idea, “Why don’t we just walk to the palace as we are? I'm sure the story will be fine if the prince offers clothes to a poor passerby?”
“No, that’s not how the story goes. Wish we could, though,” Zach lamented, “Magic is literally the main plot point. After midnight the magic is supposed to wear off. Cinderella has to get back home before her dress is reduced to rags again, the carriage turns back into a vegetable, and she has to lose a single glass slipper, which the prince uses to find her.”
“… if the magic wears off, what’s the fragging point?” Starscream hissed, the magic nonsense once again irritating him to no end.
“I don’t know what the point is!” Zach wailed, throwing his arms up as he tried to think of a way to contact the only magic user there was, “I-I don’t know, okay? We’ll… just have to figure something out.”
Sighing, Starscream closed his optics and tapped a claw on Zach's midsection as he tried to keep himself together. A small chuckle escaped him, smiling slightly as he asked, "Did you say the carriage was a vegetable?"
"Yeah. The Fairy Godmother is supposed to Bibbity Bobbity Boo it."
"What?" The seeker asked with a mirthful air, opening his optics to see Zach's unamused stare. Starscream was growing more amused than annoyed now. He found it was easier to think if he wasn't on the verge of snapping, so if he found the funny in this situation, then he'd be able to properly think of a solution.
"It's the magic catchphrase. It's what she says when she changes things, I guess.”
Humming, Starscream looked over to the garden. Summing up Zach’s explanation as he registered it, he mused, “So magic is required for the gown and carriage… the carriage is a vegetable… and considering I don’t know how to use the magic yet, I don’t want to test it on your dress first. So,” Starscream went to get up, grabbing Zach’s arm and pulling him up with him as he finished his new found hypothesis, “If I practice on a vegetable to test the magic, then I’ll figure out how it works without harming you and we’ll get to progress the story!”
Zach hummed as Starscream released him and started walking toward the garden, “That’s a lot of words to say, ‘Let me fuck around and find out with a vegetable first before I do anything stupid’, Scrim…”
“Oh, shut up, Zach,” Starscream responded without missing a beat, stepping onto the moist soil and scrutinizing his options as he checked the rows of vegetables.
Rolling his eyes with a smile, Zach turned to look at the castle. He wondered briefly what the ball would be like…
A frown formed as he let out an uncertain sound and looked down at his dress, gripping his skirt and lifting it slightly to examine it. How would the magic affect the image of it? What would he look like?
More uncertainty as he looked back at the scenery of the blue towers, bright and glowing. What if he looked ridiculous? He already felt ridiculous, so maybe he’d look as stupid as he felt… He supposed he’d find out, Rascal would probably tell him either way.
His throat tightened, unaware of Starscream’s low scoffing and hissing as he stomped through a cabbage patch behind him. Zach was far too concerned with the jester on his mind now. He had no doubt Rascal was watching them somehow, laughing at their idiocy as he patiently awaited their arrival. The idea of Rascal enjoying his plight and upset state was… painful in a way. It made Zach’s stomach twist.
He had truly thought they’d progressed past Rascal’s whole, “I’m only here to watch you suffer and laugh at your shortcomings,” wall. The last few months the clown had honestly seemed to enjoy their company and even began referring to them as friends. A few weeks ago it seemed like they were more than friends…
Zach didn’t realize how tightly he was gripping his dress until he glanced down again, loosening his nervous hold and running his thumbs over the dirty fabric. All in all, Rascal couldn’t be trusted right now. Zach wouldn’t be forgiving him for this unless the joker got on his knees and begged.
Steely cold filled his chest as he glared at the castle. He’d be determined to make him beg, then. He’d be as cold and uncaring during the ball as possible. He wouldn’t give the non-human the satisfaction. He’d make him regret this-
Starscream, the other complete and utter non-human fool, looked up at his distressed companion with a serious look as he held up his suggestion for their carriage problem, “Would an onion work?”
Zach turned slowly away from the view of the distant palace, his dress bunched in his clenching hands as he stared with insulted disbelief at the Seeker-turned-Godmother, “No, Starscream, I’m not riding to the ball in a fucking onion.”
Pouting, Starscream threw the onion over his shoulder with a glare, “Then what would you suggest?”
“Try a pumpkin,” Zach hissed coldly as he turned back to where Rascal was hiding.
“A pum- I have been patient with your nonsensical human stories until now, but look at the garden Zach! There are no pumpkins!”
Muttering obscene curses at the seeker, Zach turned on his heel to join the search for a suitable test subject. As he reached the edge of the muddy ground, he scanned the area to see what they could use. Carrots, onions, cucumbers… cabbage? Shaking his head and tearing his eyes away from the massacred lettuce, he looked for anything remotely pumpkin like. That would be a good place to start.
Starscream stood in the middle of the garden watching Zach, who began walking towards the far edge of the garden closest to the woods. As the human passed him, his wings flicked up curiously as his optics trailed to what he was locked onto.
Oh. There had been pumpkins in the garden. But they were little white things… not big and orange like Starscream would expect…
A flood of energon flowed to his faceplates, embarrassed that he had so easily overlooked exactly what they needed. Oops…
Following Zach to the small patch of gourds, the seeker more closely examined the objects. They were indeed little white pumpkins of sorts, small enough to fill both of Zach’s hands easily. There were about six of them, meaning if anything did go wrong, Starscream had six chances.
“Aw, they’re cute,” Starscream mocked halfheartedly as Zach reached down and picked one up. Easily fit in his hands, as the flier predicted. Adding quietly in hopes of Zach not snapping at him for being blind, he pointed out, “They aren’t exactly noticeable. Are you sure they’re what we need? They… are very unassuming.”
“They’re a different kind of pumpkin, I think… Ghost pumpkins? Little Boos? They’re part of the same group of pumpkins, so this’ll work,” Zach explained patiently, looking up at the seeker with a knowing smirk, “I understand how you missed them. You are very tall and, of course, alien.”
A small affectionate smile broke across Starscream’s face, rolling his optics as he reached his claws out and delicately plucked the Ghost pumpkin out of Zach’s hands, “Yes, well… not all of us are as familiar with gourds, are we Zach?”
“You literally helped me and Rae carve a pumpkin last Halloween-”
“Hush hush,” Starscream insisted as he walked toward the garden entrance with a sway, balancing the little pumpkin on one of his claws as he scoped out a place to practice.
Stepping onto the grass once more, he looked around as he placed it on the chosen spot. As he took a stride back, he pulled out the ‘wand’ and narrowed his optics with a hum.
Zach caught up and watched him curiously as Starscream considered how he should proceed, the seeker cautiously pointing his wand at the vegetable with a glower.
“…What was the phrase? Bibbity…” Starscream waved it experimentally, sneering, “Boppity Boo?”
A spark of magic flickered at the end of the polished wood as the seekers wings dropped in shock with his jaw. Optics wide now as a crazed smile overtook him, he waved a little more vigorously as he chanted “Bibbity Bobbity Boo!”
A sound akin to a firework going off sounded, a bright flash of magic blinding them both as the light danced around the tiny gourd. Temporarily blinded, Starscream stumbled back in shock, wrapping Zach in his arms and turning his back to the offending light.
As they regained their sight, Starscream, no longer excited, glared back at the site where his magic went off, wings starting to twitch curiously as he saw what he made.
A fancy white carriage with an intricate silver-green inlay stood before him, stoked wheels curving delicately with the rest of the pristine metal that decorated the once pumpkin…
“Oh wow, you did it…” Zach breathed in awe as he took in the sight.
“I… did it…” Starscream repeated shocked. Then a look of pure ecstatic joy overtook him as he picked Zach up and spun him around, cheering, “I did it! I did it, I, Starscream, performed an act of magic! First try! Oh-”
Setting his human down, he stepped back a few paces and gestured, “Stay right there, Zach! We need to get your dress-”
Zach blanched as his eyes widened in fear, “Hold on a minute, Star! I-I need a second to prepare-”
The seeker reluctantly paused, understanding the human’s requirement to gather his nerves. Impatient to once again perform another act of grandeur and impossibility, he watched as Zach took deep calming breaths and wrung his hands together. His green eyes darted around nervously, settling on the carriage as he held his breath. Finally nodding, he screwed his eyes shut and stood perfectly still.
“Okay…” he gritted out, “I’m ready. Just please don’t-”
“Bibbity Bobbity Boo!” Starscream didn’t miss a second to pounce on his chance to act, Zach’s startled yelp reaching his audials as another sound of fireworks going off filled the air. As the light surrounded the startled man, Starscream squeezed his optics closed with an excited smile, looking forward to seeing how the magic would affect the inventor.
“I’m gonna kill you-”
Red optics landed on a gothic Victorian ball gown, shiny green on the main parts with flowing sleeves and puffed skirt. Black vines highlighted the arms and gown, giving it a twisting design, with black lace adorning the grey front and shoulders. A green lace choker accompanied the dress, tying the evening dress together. Zach’s hair was now a whole deal neater as well, crowned with a black tiara with a single ruby.
His green eyes held unbridled rage as he stood among the fading streaks of magic, glaring at the delighted seeker as he approached.
“You… You look wonderful-”
Zach interrupted agitated, “You didn’t even let me finish!”
Starscream smirked as he stood before the begowned human, leaning to his level with a teasing tone, “No. But I did clean you up! Isn’t that swell- Ow! I’m sorry-”
The seeker jumped away after Zach roughly stomped on his ped, the glowering sneer on his face showing his satisfaction with his retaliation. Starscream returned the glare as he hissed lowly at him, placing his hands on his hips as they engaged in a stare off.
Though the clinking sound that resulted from the small attack did raise a question… Both of them shared the same curious expression after a moment of consideration.
Zach blinked as the sound fully registered and carefully gripped his gown, pulling it up slightly to catch sight of his glass slippers. Instead of the classic blue, a mix of deep green and black greeted the pair, the translucent material shimmering between the two colors with every movement he made.
“Those are… wow.. I think I might be jealous…” Starscream started, leaning down to examine the heels with wide wonder-filled optics, “And you’re certain they’re glass?”
“Um… Yeah. They should be…” Zach couldn’t take his eyes off of the crystal shoes, a feeling of vain pride swelling in his chest. Maybe being the Cinderella wasn’t so bad…
Humming to himself with a smug smile, he dropped his gown and smoothed it out. Stupid as it sounded, he felt… Pretty. A strange feeling. But he found himself enjoying the soft fabric and the way Starscream’s optics examined him. There was something unreadable on the seeker’s face, and Zach couldn’t help but straighten up proudly as he returned the stare.
Then the red optics flicked to the carriage as he tilted his hem. Zach frowned at the sudden lack of attention and looked behind him to see what else he could possibly be examining. The carriage didn’t seem to have anything out of place. Except for-
“Where are the horses?”
Zach’s frown faded as he noticed the lack of animals attached to the carriage. You’d think he would have noticed that…
“I’m… not sure…”
Letting out a thoughtful sound as he fully faced their ‘transportation’, he recalled, “Well… Cinderella had some mice and the Fairy Godmother turned them into horses,” Turning to Starscream, he offered with a slightly uncomfortable look, “I guess… Look for some mice?”
Starscream raised an optic ridge at Zach’s sudden fidgety behavior at the mention of the rodents, but he supposed considering Zach didn’t like animals in the first place it wasn’t surprising.
“Alright. Mice then I suppose,” Looking behind him though, Starscream’s wings drooped at the prospect of scouring the entire field for mice. Distaste covering his faceplates, he immediately backtracked, “Or… Maybe not.”
Groaning, Zach carefully strode toward the carriage, supporting himself on the coachman seat to examine the harnesses as he tried to think of something else to use.
A soft chittering coming from the forest interrupted his musing as he glanced toward the tree the sound was coming from. Two small bats hung from the lowest branch watching him.
His face slowly dropped into silent horror as they both tilted their heads at him, eyes glittering intelligently as he started backing away slowly.
Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t yet used to walking in heels, much less walking backwards. As he tripped and fell back with a yelp, Starscream’s helm snapped to him as he instinctively lurched for his human, barely catching him before he hit the ground.
Optics immediately searched the trees for the threat, spotting the two flying rodents who startled the animal hating inventor.
Flying rodents…
“Hey,” Starscream started slowly, “I know they just gave you a scare, but I think we could use them.”
“Use them?” Zach squeaked in disbelief, watching as the bats looked at each other.
“They are rodents, aren’t they? Technically flying mice.”
Pulling the human back to his feet, Starscream pulled his wand out once more, a look of determination filling his optics. Zach’s eyes flicked between the mech’s target and the wand as he slowly moved behind him. Placing his hands on his back strut he closed his eyes as Starscream chanted the magic words again.
Another burst of noise. More lights. Startled squeaking that turned into strange whinnying.
With a chuckle, Starscream examined his creations with unbridled delight.
Brown-black stallions flapped their leathery wings in curious motions as they stamped in place, tossing their heads back with strange chittering neighs.
The mock-pegasi were gorgeous, in a strange vampiric way. Looking closer they did indeed have sharp chompers…
"Do we actually have to touch them…?" Zach squeaked, gripping Starscream's corset in pure despair, "They look…"
The seeker reached around behind his side to softly pat his arm, shushing quietly as he stared at the harnesses.
The horses were already bridled and seemed to have leads already attached to the carriage.
He was starting to understand Rascal was so reliant on his magic. Everything was already taken care of with a simple chant and wave of a wand. Or hand. Made much more sense now, considering it seemed to be much more efficient than sitting there struggling to attach an animal to a wagon…
Humming, he grasped Zach's hand and cautiously approached their ride, "No, I don't think we have to touch them… and they don't seem aggressive, so I think we're alright."
Zach hummed suspiciously, angling his body behind Starscream’s as they reached the opening to the inside of their transportation.
"If those things freak out, I swear-"
"Hush, Zach," Starscream chided gently as he opened the door and helped him into the carriage.
Zach gripped his servo unsurely as he hoisted himself inside, settling on the surprisingly comfortable seat as Starscream followed close behind. Once they both settled and the mech closed the door, the steeds seemed to sense their preparedness and neighed as they started forward.
The human wasn't used to carriages or horse riding, grabbing the seeker's arm as they hit a bump with a clear noise of discomfort.
Starscream let out a reassuring hum as he stared out his window, watching the forest start to disappear and give way to a little village.
The blue shingled houses were small and quaint, little cottages with flowers and picture perfect appearances. It truly did look reminiscent of a story book. The only thing bothering Starscream was-
"Hey, Zach?"
"Hnm?"
"Where is everybody?"
Yes, it was night, but it was also a special evening. Weren't balls and galas usually cause for celebration and merrymaking?
The village seemed dead… and that made the beauty unnerving…
"Oh, yeah…" Zach agreed peering out, "Now that's creepy… maybe… They're all at the castle?.."
They both shared an uneasy look, doubting that there was anyone at all. Even so, they stared at the passing town hoping to catch sight of a person. Anyone. Yet as they looked and continued on, the houses began diverging into royal gardens and statues with not a soul in sight.
The carriage eventually rolled to a stop in front of the castle steps, the red carpet over the pure white marble welcoming them to their destination.
As Starscream examined the steps and castle, he opened the carriage door and cautiously stepped out, his heels quietly clacking on the ground before he turned to help Zach out. It took a moment, Zach still wasn’t used to the dress. While the human gripped the mech’s claws with a tight uneasy grip to steady himself as he stepped out, Starscream shot a look over his shoulder to the top of the steps. His wings dropped slightly as he blinked curiously at the silhouette at the top.
Rascal’s dark outline emphasized by the towering entrance looming above them dominated the scene, their jester staring down with an expression they couldn’t yet see.
Once Zach’s heels clicked next to Starscream’s, he looked to where the seeker’s optics were trained, and his lips drew into a tight line at the sight of the clown.
With a deep inhale, Starscream turned to the stairs and offered his arm to Zach. At the human’s confused look, the mech smiled down at him.
“Is it not customary for human royalty to be escorted?”
That took him by surprise. A small dust of pink covered his cheeks as he accepted the arm, replying with a nervous eyeroll, “Well, yeah, but I’m not really royalty-”
“Zachary Bennett Varmitech, do not tell me you’re humbling yourself now,” he hissed lowly as he started ascending the stairs with Zach clinging tightly.
“Ha! Funny Scrim, no,” the inventor shot back smugly, “I’m just being technical.”
“You’re being ridiculous is what you are-”
As they approached the top of the stairs, Rascal became much clearer to see. His mask was half lidded looking down at them, a smug smirk painting his face. He was clearly pleased with what he saw, and the direction the story had taken.
His attire was surprisingly fancy, but still somehow him. He wore a vibrant Victorian coat with magenta highlights, vaguely reminiscent of a prince’s outerwear. A plain white cravat adorned his neck and was wrapped around a neckpiece as pale as his mask. Flaring out over his shoulders like mock pauldrons, purple fabric similar to his poncho adorned him, tucked neatly under his coat collar. Black boots and stark white pants were decorated by metal knee guards the colors of his usual leg warmers, pink and purple. His usual yellow belt remained, wrapping around the coat waist with a rapier hanging from it.
The prince of the story. Though it was ironic to call him a prince, considering his hair was still in its jesteresque style and his getup reminded Zach of his usual motley.
That familiar fanged grin of his split Rascal’s face as Zach and Starscream stopped in front of him, waiting for him to say something.
“Well, I must say, you arrived quicker than I expected!”
Starscream’s wings twitched up slightly, “You mean you were expecting us to take longer?”
“Hmm, yes and no…” the smile twitched for a slightest second as he focused on the seeker, “I was concerned for a moment you wouldn’t be able to use your magic. An oversight on my part…”
Zach frowned at that, had Rascal really not accounted for the fact Starscream wouldn’t know how to work the magic? Had he been wrong about the harlequin taking amusement in their temporary setback?
Almost immediately the smile returned, Rascal happily clapping hands together as he cheered, “But you managed! And I’m glad! You exceeded my expectations! Good job, Starbright!”
The SIC stood a little taller at the praise, a self-satisfied smile breaking across his faceplates as he basked in the unfamiliar feeling of appreciation.
Turning his attention to Zach, his expression melted back into his smug smirk, “And look at you, Zach-a-bye…”
He drew closer, like a wolf circling his prey, invading Zach’s space as he leaned closer to the glaring human to purr, “You look lovely. Starscream really outdid himself, didn’t he?”
Despite his resolve to not give Rascal the satisfaction of embarrassing him, Zach couldn’t help but swallow nervously at the compliments, his blush returning as his glare faded into uncertain stubbornness.
“Yeah, he did good,” He relented, giving the seeker a side glance and seeing his chassis puff out a little more at their encouragement. Smiling at Starscream’s clear pleasure at their impression, he pressed teasingly, “But doesn’t he look nice too?”
Starscream’s wings audibly and visibly clicked down at that, the smile dropping in surprise as his optics widened. Rascal frowned as his mask twisted to raise an eye ridge, a mischievous smile forming when he caught on.
Looking back at their mech, he sang, “Yes, yes he does…”
Clearing his vox, Starscream looked down to Rascal with a stern expression trying to recollect himself, despite the blue blush flushing his faceplates, “Thank you. What next?”
Right, the reason they were there. Zach immediately dropped the sweet moment to see what was next. The sooner they finished this, the sooner he could leave. That was what he wanted…
Rascal almost looked disappointed, ears flicking down as he drawled, “Well… I suppose now we kill time. We do have until midnight until the final act, and it’s only eight…”
Zach’s heart dropped. Only eight? He thought it had been later!
Those empty eyes bore into his as another malicious smile formed, Rascal holding out his arm in a similar gesture to Starscream’s.
“We should head to the ballroom. It’ll be the prime place to be during our little… interval.”
For a moment Zach just stared at him. Then, cautiously taking the jester’s arm, moved away from his robotic companion. Keeping an even look as much as he could as they started down the majestic hall, he intended to make this night go by as quick as possible.
——
—-
—
“Where is everyone?” Zach asked as he looked around the empty ballroom.
It was gigantic, an open space devoid of any life besides the three. Golden colored tiles covered the ballroom floor, sparkling with some unknown magic effect that filled the room. Arching windows, towering pillars, candles, huge crystal chandelier…
Definitely out of a storybook.
Rascal hummed, seemingly indifferent to the lack of life. Stating quite matter-of-factly, he drawled, "There isn't anyone else. Just us."
"An entire ball?" Starscream deadpanned in disbelief, "And it's just us?"
"Yes," he cheerily chirped, that familiar smile on his face as he took in his partners’ expressions. Clicking his tongue, he teased, "What? Were you two really hoping for other folks to take the attention off you? This is your story after all!"
Your story…
Zach would be lying if he said that didn't make his ego swell immensely at the idea…
An entire world filled with a Cinderella story of him… Them…
Sensing his human's delight, Rascal giggled evilly as he drew closer, whispering above him, "That got your attention, didn't it?"
"Doesn't change the fact it's lifeless here…" Starscream interjected with a growl.
Rascal frowned with a huff at that, turning an empty glare toward the pouting Cybertronian. With a flourish of his claws, he proclaimed annoyed and quite insulted, "What if I wanted people to gaze upon me? Don't we deserve to be praised while being the center of attention?"
"Ah, of course," Rascal finally purred understanding, smirking lightly, "You want to lord over someone, dear Starbright. I might be able to provide…"
Stepping away from a curious Zach and an unconvinced Starscream, Rascal drew his deck of cards and shuffled them for a moment. Then, with a form of grace only he possessed, flung one, two, three- a multitude of the colorful cards out to the ballroom floor, the cards embedding themselves into the tiles with light Thunks!
Then, with a loud, sharp snap of his fingers, Rascal seemed to make the entire room come to life.
All Zach knew was one moment, it was empty, the next it was filled with classical music, people chatting, and an overall liveliness…
The people were… odd though…
They all had a see through appearance, a mask on each of them despite their elegant attire. It was reminiscent of a masquerade… but Zach couldn't look directly at them… there was somthing off about their faces… he could see the masks, but trying to focus on any other feature he'd find himself looking elsewhere.
Starscream, on the other hand, was instantly delighted by the captive audience, already gathering a social crowd that seemed more than eager to indulge his ego…
"What a wonderful corset…"
"A metal man! How curious…"
"What elegant wings..!"
Their voices were ghostly and ethereal… breathy, there, but at the same time not…
The human quickly became unnerved. Everything in this room screamed Uncanny Valley and set his primal instincts on high alert…
Rascal immediately sensed Zach's change in attitude, looking over with a frown and flick of his ears. Zach snapped his head to look at him, then down where Rascal had intertwined their gloved hands in an attempt of comfort. Looking back to the shadow elf, he was surprised to see him not looking at him, a small dash of pink on what flesh he could see on his cheeks.
"... If you'd be so kind to indulge me," Rascal implored softly, "I'd like a dance. While Starscream is occupied, yes?"
Humming curiously, Zach quietly responded while watching Starscream puff up at the ghosts' praise, "I guess we have to, right? But… um…"
Rascal looked over curious as Zach finished embarrassed, watching a ghostly couple spin by in a waltz, "I don't know how to dance…"
Nodding solemnly, Rascal looked to him with an understanding smile, "Not to worry, Zac-a-bye. I'll guide you, it's quite simple."
"Whenever you say something is simple, it's usually not," Zach complained with an eyeroll, but taking Rascal's proposal regardless.
Carefully, the harlequin guided them through the ghostly crowd, to the center of the room. With a short stop and a flourished bow, Rascal turned to Zach with a reassuring grin and took his hands, placing them in the proper places for a… proper dance.
The inventor was less than enthusiastic, all he was thinking of now was accidently making a fool of himself and stepping on the clown's feet. Funny how such things could play out, being the fool instead of the actual fool…
"Now, follow my movements," Rascal instructed, placing a firm hand on the human's back and pulling him close, "Think of it as… swaying with steps!"
Narrowing his eyes at the instructions, Zach did indeed follow along, stepping in time with the mock prince as they did indeed sway and step to the music's flow. He found it really was simple, and huffed annoyed at Rascal's pleased grin.
"See? You're a natural!"
"Yeah, whatever…"
With a delighted laugh, Rascal changed the dance, twirling the human out with a sure grip before pulling him back. Zach was not pleased with this switch up, glaring up at him while trying to curb the anxiety the movement gave him. Rascal simply giggled mischievously and continued their dance, humming along to the tune lost by time.
Soon, Zach fell himself easily swaying with the joker, eventually humming along with his partner as they both fell into a steady pattern. It was… actually quite enjoyable…
When a sudden tap on his shoulder gained his attention, he yelped and curled close to his dance partner, afraid one of the ghosts had somehow manifested into reality. Seeing it was just a now very amused Starscream, he growled and pulled away from Rascal, trying to ignore the laughter that resulted in his scare.
Grinning, Starscream bowed and outstretched a servo to the human, politely asking with a light teasing tone, “May I have a dance?”
Zach scoffed and raised an eyebrow, but grinned as he took the offered servo, returning the tone as he asked, “You know how to dance?”
The seeker grinned back, pulling Zach close as he amended with a light tone, “I actually don't have a clue. But it can't be that hard. Right?”
But they didn't move or waltz, both content to sway in place as the ghosts twirled and laughed around them. Rascal lingered close, taking another translucent partner and dancing around them, humming to the new song that started.