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Raph always dreaded gym class. He was more than capable to do whatever the teacher expected of them that day, but he wasn’t worried about that. The part he really hated was the fact that gym class always took place in the gymnasium, with its squeaky linoleum floor and walls that seemed to trap every sound right alongside him. Combine that with a good two dozen sweaty, yelling teenagers and Raph was just about ready to smash something to pieces.
Not today though. The teacher had promised last time that they’d finally, finally go and use the giant field that belonged to the school. Instead of his normal sports clothes, Raph had packed his comfy street shoes, ones he also sometimes wore when ninja-ing with his brothers. He’d also packed longer clothes, knowing fully well that the spring air was still chilly and likely to make him catch a cold if he wasn’t careful.
When he arrived at the gym hall—they still had to change into their sports clothes somewhere—a few students were still lingering in front of it, including his brothers. As Raph got closer, they traded quick, uncertain glances and he stopped in his tracks.
“What?” he demanded, unease creeping up on him at seeing his brothers act so dodgy.
“Yeah, so, y’know,” Leo let out an uneasy laugh that only set Rap on edge even more, “they uh, moved gym class back indoors?”
“What.” Raph forced out, doing his best not to yell.
They couldn’t just- They couldn’t just do that. Not when he’d been looking forward to it all week.
“Hey man,” Mikey inserted himself in the conversation even though Raph would rather do anything else besides talk, “the teacher said we’re gonna be outside for sure next week though.”
Raph grunted, gripping his sports bag hard enough that he could feel his joints ache in protest, and pushed his way past his brothers and towards the changing rooms.
He hated school. He hated that they pretended to have a structured plan only to rip it out from under his feet at the last moment again and again and again. It wasn’t fair. And now he was stuck in the horrible gym hall again, only that this time he had to wear clothes for outdoor sports because he’d been gullible enough to think that a teacher would actually keep their word for once.
Getting into his sports clothes was a struggle in itself. Anger made his movements uncoordinated and if there hadn’t been approximately one million other students in the changing room staring at him, he would’ve just smashed his bag against the wall until it no longer felt like he was being torn apart from the inside.
As it was, he could only relieve some of the pressure by stomping into the gym hall—without shoes. There was no way the stuck up, snotty asshole that masqueraded as a gym teacher would allow him to wear dirty outdoor shoes in the slightly less dirty hall.
He barely participated in any of the games they played. Everything was too loud . His clothes stuck to him, warming him in a way that would’ve been nice if they’d been outdoors, but was only serving to suffocate him even more in here. His brothers tried to talk to him a few times, but he ignored them. If he hadn’t, Raph was pretty sure he would’ve started screaming right then and there.
Time dragged by slowly. Another group joined them, taking one half of the hall for themselves after half the period. They managed to be even louder than all the kids he was forced to share a class with. Raph wanted to do nothing more than take the basketball his ‘team’ was currently in possession of and send it flying into the face of the next kid that yelled on top of its lungs.
Somehow, gym class ended eventually. Raph couldn’t bear the thought of being locked into the changing rooms with all the other sweaty boys while he struggled to get out of his useless shirt, so he just walked through it, not caring enough to change his clothes. Just the rustling of his shirt and pants, the rhythmic fall of his steps, the sound of his own breathing was too much.
There were already plenty of other kids outside, screaming their lungs out and generally doing what they could to make Raph suffer even more. He walked past them, biting the inside of his cheek and holding onto the fact that having a meltdown right now would only make everything a billion times worse. He shoved the rising frustration down as best as he could and made his way over to the bathrooms.
They were empty.
If they hadn’t been, Raph was fairly sure he would’ve started screaming right then and there. As it was, he entered one of the stalls, shut the door behind him and leaned against the wall. Even the bathroom was still filled with unwanted noise, the lights overhead buzzed faintly and he heard water rushing through pipes barely hidden by the shitty school walls, but it was still miles better than the gym hall or outdoors. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. It sounded like it shouldn’t work, but Dad had actually been right in saying that meditation—or even just breathing exercises—would calm his mind.
He took a deep breath through his nose, counting until he’d reached four seconds, then held his breath and slowly exhaled through his mouth. His body really didn’t want to calm down, but that didn’t matter. Raph repeated the same pattern—inhaling for four seconds, holding his breath for eight and exhaling for seven—again and again. The world was starting to feel a little less overwhelming with each new cycle. He kept it up, something about the familiar exercise comforting him, even if he was in a dirty school bathroom and not at home on his meditation pillow.
The gong sounded much too soon, ripping Raph out of the comforting trance he’d slipped in. At least it was only one more class until he could go home—and it was art class no less. Sure, Raph wasn’t the most artistically talented out of his brothers, but he still enjoyed art class. A big factor was definitely the fact that the teacher just let them work on their projects in relative silence, a small blessing after the overwhelming noise that usually accompanied gym class.
So, with that in mind, he pushed off the wall and left the bathroom, praying that the teacher would already be in the room to shush the other students.
She wasn’t, obviously, but Raph knew it was only a matter of time. He made his way through the wall of noise and sat down at his desk, fumbling with the zipper of his bag until he could pull out his pencil case. He doubted he’d get anything but shaky lines on the paper today, but that would be okay. It would be okay because art class meant quiet.
A few more minutes passed, with still no sign of the teacher. She should’ve been here by now. She was always punctual. Raph got the feeling not a lot of the other students liked her, but he didn’t care. She wanted the classroom to be quiet, which already made her one of his favorite teachers.
When the door finally opened, Raph breathed a sigh of relief before even seeing her. The breath got stuck in his throat when he saw who was entering the classroom.
It wasn’t their teacher. It was a substitute, who already looked like she’d let all the annoying brats walk all over her. She sat down at the teacher’s desk and started talking. Raph didn’t listen to a single word she said—he wouldn’t have been able even if he wanted to, not with all the incessant noise—and just prayed everyone would shut up already.
If anything, her words only seemed to spur on the other kids to yell even louder.
Raph tried to focus on his breathing again, but the shaky inhale of air only added to the ceaseless overwhelming and his teeth clamped down on his cheek again. It wasn’t enough.
Everybody just needed to shut up.
Despite his best efforts to keep it contained, Raph felt the meltdown fast approaching, which was just great. Doing that in front of a class of noisy shitheads was exactly what he wanted to be doing.
Raph stood up, chair painfully scraping across the ground. He didn’t care. It was like a string had finally snapped, like the movement had finally set him free from all the turbulence clouding his brain.
He grabbed his bag—uncaring that half of his stuff was still on the desk—and fled the room. He sprinted through the hallway—not something he was allowed to do, but whatever —and managed to get outside before he burst open. He’d ended up next to the shitty toilets, which was just as well.
With the same kind of force he’d used against the Mechazoids, he grabbed his bag and flung it against the wall.
It wasn’t enough.
Raph did the next best thing then, curled his hand into a fist and punched the wall with everything he had. Pain radiated through his hand, then his arm, but it still wasn’t right. He needed to get this all out, but nothing worked.
Part of him knew this was a very bad move, but Raph still didn’t care enough and slammed his head against the wall next. Pain exploded into his brain not a moment later, but it still wasn’t right. It still wasn’t the release he wanted. Behind him, there was some sort of noise, but even if he could’ve made out what it was, he wouldn’t have cared.
He reeled his head back, preparing to hit it against the wall again until everything stopped being too loud and too overwhelming and too much, but he never got a second hit in. Someone shoved themselves between him and the wall and Raph’s fist was already flying towards whoever dared to stop him before he even realized it was Leo.
His brother caught the hit, letting himself be used like a punching bag—which wasn’t what Raph wanted. He tried to say as much, but the only sound that escaped him was some sort of growl that meant approximately nothing to him or anyone else.
Leo was talking to him now, saying something that Raph couldn’t make out through all the noise bouncing around in his head. He readied his other fist and took another swing. Again, Leo blocked the attack and again it wasn’t the release Raph wanted. Leo ducked down for a brief moment, and Raph’s next hit was stopped by his own school bag held in front of Leo’s chest.
Raph hit it again, too frustrated and overwhelmed and struggling to do anything else. A few more hits, and the tension clouding his everything finally snapped. He stood there, breathless, pain from his hand and head making itself known again, staring at his brother.
Slowly, he let himself fall forwards. Leo dropped the bag and caught him without hesitation. After a few moments of Raph staying as he was—face pressed somewhere against Leo’s shoulder, with as much of his weight as possible resting against his brother—Leo carefully brought up his arms and wrapped them around Raph.
If it were anyone else touching him right now, Raph would’ve spiraled into another meltdown on the spot, but having Leo this close made him feel safe , especially in a place as full of tension as school. He hated being so vulnerable here, where countless strangers could see him—or worse, classmates he’d actually have to interact with again could see him.
Leo held him for a few more moments, then shifted until Raph was on his side and one of his arms draped around his shoulders. Like that, Leo half guided, half dragged Raph away. His brother took him to the parking spots for the bikes—separated from the rest of the school by a lot of foliage, meaning nobody would see them ditching class there—and helped him sit down. Because Leo was truly the best brother Raph could ever wish for, he sat down as well, keeping a bit of distance between them. Enough that Raph didn’t have to worry about accidentally touching him and setting his nerves on fire, but still close enough that he could easily reach out to him.
He still would’ve vastly preferred to be at home, but given the situation this was undoubtedly the best place he could be at right now. They were hidden from view, far away enough from the main building that none of the classroom sounds reached them while still being not too close to the nearby road to hear any of the cars.
Raph stared at some patch of grass that was growing out of the space between the paved ground, his mind slowly winding down. Leo didn’t push him. He just sat with him, eyes trained on some tree as he watched the leaves rustle ever so slightly in the wind. It was just what Raph needed. He didn’t want to be alone right now, but the thought of actually interacting with anyone made bile rise in his throat. HIs brother just sitting next to him, pointedly ignoring Raph in favor of some boring tree was the best that could happen to him right now.
His body felt heavy; as did his mind, both exhausted from the meltdown. Still, it didn’t stop shame from rising into his mind. He desperately hoped no one aside from his brother had seen him. It was bad enough knowing that Leo had watched him hit his head against the wall, Raph really couldn’t bear the thought of any of his classmates having witnessed that as well. At least he hadn’t seen anyone else, just Leo.
The pain in his hand and head made itself known again as well, throbbing in time with his heartbeat. At least it didn’t feel like he had a concussion, that would’ve been just fantastic. He’d still have to do something about the broken skin across his knuckles sooner or later, though.
Speaking was still hard, his brain unable or unwilling to come up with the right words, so Raph just lifted his injured hand up and hoped Leo understood the gesture.
Leo turned to look towards him, the movement catching his eyes. He regarded Raph’s hand for a moment. “I’m guessing you don’t wanna go to the nurse with that one,” he said, not really a question. HIs voice was light, almost joking, and if Raph hadn’t felt so utterly uncoordinated right now, he would’ve hugged his brother for it. “Should I take a look once we’re home?” Leo continued, a bit concern edging into his voice.
Raph nodded, still not trusting his voice or words.
Then, surprising Raph, Leo pulled out his phone. They technically weren’t allowed on school grounds, but nobody really cared anymore at this point—except his nerd of a brother. And yet, here he was, booting up his phone like a true rebel. He turned to Raph with a conspiratorial smile on his face. “Wanna look at some memes?” he asked, “April sent me a bunch of really good ones like, yesterday.”
For a moment, Raph just stared at him, surprised. He hadn’t thought Leo was that willing to actually ditch class.
As if sensing his thoughts, Leo turned to look into the general direction of the classroom they were supposed to be in. He shrugged. “That sub’s not gonna miss us.”
Raph shrugged. If Leo said so, he certainly wasn’t gonna ruin this moment by going back into the hellscape that was that room. Instead, Raph scooted closer until his head could comfortably rest on Leo’s shoulder. His brother tilted his phone so they could both see the screen, then began scrolling through his gallery.