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When Kinich woke up again, his head was pounding like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it and his throat felt dry and scratchy. He groaned, feeling as though he just got thrown into a river. A face was soon in front of him, and he realized that he was leaning against a tree.
“Kinich! Oh thank the archons you’re alright, what happened?” Mualani was in front of him, and he could see Kachina nervously wringing her hands together off to the side. They were underneath a tree nearby where they had been sparring earlier, rain still splashing down on the ground, but at least the leaves above them sheltered them from the worst of it.
Then it hit him. He had had one of the worst panic attacks he had been affected by in a while, and right in front of two of the only people who actually cared about him. He looked away from them, refusing to make eye contact. “It’s nothing, just drop it.”
Mualani moved to put her hand on his shoulder, but thought the better of it when she noticed his barely-there flinch. “That wasn’t fine Kinich, that was a panic attack! I just want to know why!”
He shook his head. “Look, I have it under control. I’ll be fine by tomorrow, you don’t have to worry.
“But you won’t be!” to both of their surprise, Kachina spoke up. Her eyes were full of unshed tears as they met his. She moved to sit in front of him, next to Mualani, and grasped one of his hands between her gloved ones. The rain made her hair stick to her forehead and face, visor on the floor next to her. “Please, Kinich, we just want to help you. I don’t like seeing you sad!”
His gaze darted between the two of them, titanite colored eyes darkening with unease, shoulders tensing and breath stilling.
Mualani moved first. “Hey, breathe, okay?”
He sucked in an anxious breath, feeling more vulnerable and open than he had in ages. The concern in their faces only grew, and a tight feeling started to form in his chest. He didn’t like seeing them worried or sad, and knowing it was because of him was making him feel worse.
“I.. it’s a long story.” His shoulders slumped and his gaze fell once more.
The hands holding his own tightened. “We have time.” Kachina moved ever so slightly closer, slowly inching toward him enough to press her leg against his.
Mualani wasn’t so subtle, immediately plopping herself down next to him and wrapping her arm around him in a side hug. “We’re here to listen.”
He took a deep breath. “It’s not a pretty story.”
Mualani nudged him. “Hey, stop trying to deflect on us. We’re here for you, you don’t have to be scared!”
Finally he relaxed his shoulders, closing his eyes for a moment. “When I was younger, my dad would gamble. He would buy me nice little gifts when he won but when he lost…”
The other two sat patiently, listening to him with their full attention. It made him feel seen and heard in a way he hadn’t felt before. It was nice.
Another deep breath, “...when he lost, he would go drinking. And when he went drinking, he would hit me and my mom.”
Mualani’s grip around his shoulders tightened and Kachina brought his hand closer to her chest, as if she were trying to use it as a stuffed animal.
“My mom left when I was six.” Despite how young he was, he could still remember how hopeless he felt when he realized she didn’t take him with her.
“And on my seventh birthday..well, it was raining like it is today.” A lump formed in his throat and a head pricked at the corners of his eyes.
The girls just sat there patiently and waited, comforting presences on either side.
“He got drunk, just like normal. It was around that year when I started to become more athletic than him, outrunning his beatings for as long as I could. It was my birthday, so I thought he’d be nicer. I asked him about Mom.” A few tears escaped his eyes, which he quickly used his free hand to rub away.
“He chased me, he chased me all the way to the nearby cliff sides. And then…”
Mualani gasped in horror. “Don’t tell me…”
He nodded. “He fell.”
The silence after that sentence was heavy, but still, now that he had the chance to get it all out Kinich couldn’t stop talking. “I was the one to bring him home, you know.”
The girls both froze, horror evident in their eyes, but he just barreled on. “I used his grappling hook, I learned from watching him but I hadn’t done it before myself. I’d say I did a pretty good job for my first time.” His joke got no laughs.
Kachina surged forward into his chest, sobbing. Mualani wrapped her other arm around Kachina, pulling both of them to her in the process. They sat there for who knows how long, just holding Kinich and comforting each other best they could.
Kachina eventually fell asleep clung to him, his shaky arms wrapped tight as if she would fade away if he let go. Mualani was now stroking a hand through his hair, guiding him to rest on her shoulder.
“It’s not your fault, you know,” she whispered.
He hummed in response.
“I’m serious, none of it was your fault. It was all his. If he hadn’t drank in the first place, or gambled, or even if he was a better person in general, none of that would have happened to you.”
For a moment, just for a moment, he pretended he could believe her.