Work Text:
”Okay David, tell me again. What did Patrick do?”
“Stevie! I just told you. Were you NOT listening?”
“Wait. I needed to pour some more wine.”
“He didn’t bring me anything from the new bakery in Elmdale. You know, the one opened by that Italian pastry chef from New York!”
“Ahhh…yes. The one who had a nervous breakdown and walked out on his business and decided to open a place in the Greater Elms.”
“Yeah, that one.”
“That doesn’t sound like Patrick.”
“I know, right? It’s like he doesn’t love me!”
“Didn’t he just spend the afternoon planting cherry blossom trees? That seems like love to me.”
“Stevie!”
“David!”
“Must you mock me at every turn?”
“Fine. Sit down. I’ve had enough wine. I can listen now.”
“So, he went to one of our vendors on Sunday on his own while I did a spa day at the cottage.”
“Monster!”
“Steeevieee!”
“Fine, finish.”
“He called me when he was leaving to come home and said he didn’t realize that the bakery was so close to the vendor and asked if I wanted something.”
“Okay? I’m still now following, David. That sounds like a nice thing. And exactly like something Patrick would do.”
“But, I’d finished up my leftovers from Noodle Buddha and wasn’t hungry, so I said no.”
“Just your leftovers? Or his too?”
“Not the point, Stevie!”
“And that heathen bought something for himself and ate it on his way home! And get this. He just got one cannoli from himself. One cannoli, Stevie! What kind of monster goes to a place like that and gets only one cannoli and nothing for his husband, the supposed love of his life?”
“The kind who actively watches what he eats and has a husband who said he didn’t want anything.”
“He should’ve gotten me a treat! That’s what you do when you love someone! You get that person a treat! Everyone knows that!”
“Do they? Because from where I’m standing, it sounds like you’re the irrational one.”
“You’re no help! I’m leaving!”
“Ok. Bye!! Give Patrick my love!”
Door slams shut.