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Rooming with Akarsha had not been part of Noelle's plans. If you'd told Noelle a few months ago that she'd be spending her college days sharing a dorm with Akarsha of all people, she'd have looked at you like you were insane. Akarsha drove her crazy! Why on earth would she willingly share a room with her?
And yet, somehow, they'd ended up in the same college. Everyone in their little group (except Min, who didn't care about grades) had almost cracked under the stress of exams and college admissions when it came time to apply for college, Noelle and Akarsha included. In fact, Akarsha had almost had one of the worst breakdowns among them. Yet somehow, a series of breakdowns later, all four of them had survived and made it to college.
And Akarsha had ended up in the same one as Noelle. It made sense; they both were interested in mathematics and science, after all.
Akarsha had been the first one to suggest rooming together. “Frenchman, think about it! We know each other so well, while you don't know any of these new kids. It's a scary world out there. We should stick with someone familiar, you know!”
“Absolutely not!” Noelle had objected immediately.
Akarsha had shot her a wounded expression. “Woah, why the instant hostility! Calm down, Frenchman, it was just a suggestion.”
When Diya and Min heard of it, they had instantly weighed in and agreed that it was an excellent idea.
“You guys are so close already!” Diya had said with a sunny smile. “It would be great!”
Min had laughed and said, “Good luck trying not to kill each other. Still, it could be good for you both.”
Noelle had protested vehemently. “You both are no help!”
And yet, when the time came to select their roommates, Noelle had reluctantly conceded that rooming with Akarsha, who she was already excessively familiar with, was a much better idea than rooming with a total stranger. The devil you know, and all that. Not that Akarsha was as bad as a devil. She was more like a silly little clown. Who drove Noelle up the wall endlessly, 24 hours, seven days a week. 365 days a year.
And so Noelle had sighed, and resigned herself to three years of yelling at Akarsha for leaving her belongings on the wrong side of the dorm room again, blasting absurd anime music at 2am when Noelle was trying to sleep, and using up all the shampoo. As well as, of course, their endless prank wars.
Today, Noelle came back from her Physics lecture, expecting to be hit in the face by yet another one of Akarsha’s preposterous pranks. But today, there was no such prank - that’s how Noelle knew something was off.
Instead of a prank, what greeted her was the sight of a vaguely humanoid figure wrapped up in a burrito of blankets and groaning loudly, punctuated by sniffles and sneezes.
“Akarsha?”
The blanketed figure rolled over, a familiar head poking itself out of the burrito of blankets. “Oh! Frenchman, you’re finally back!”
Noelle frowned, narrowing her eyes. “What’s with you? Why aren’t you in class?”
Akarsha stretched out one arm and reached for the tissue box by her bedside table. She proceeded to blow her nose into it, obscenely loud.
“Oh my God, Frenchman,” Akarsha wheezed, “you have to save me. I’m dying!” She punctuated her words with a fit of coughing.
Noelle quickly assessed the situation and concluded, “So you’ve fallen sick. What are your symptoms?”
Akarsha hacked out another round of coughs, sneezed twice, and blew her nose again, loud enough to rival the college’s orchestra members blowing on their trumpets.
“Frenchman, it’s bad, I won’t lie…” Akarsha wheezed in a hoarse voice, “Let’s see… I’ve got a runny nose, I’m sneezing, my head is pounding like someone’s bashing my brain with ten thousand hammers at the same time, and…” She turned and looked Noelle straight in the eyes. “I’ve got a 108 F fever.”
Noelle’s brows knitted together at once. “What?! That’s not possible! If you’ve got a fever that high, you wouldn’t be speaking coherently. In fact, you’d be dead.”
Akarsha shrugged. “It’s true, Frenchman! I’m barely coherent now, it’s a struggle to speak…” She made another loud sniffling sound, and then sucked in loud gasps, as if she was struggling for breath. She clutched her throat. “Oh my God, I’m probably going to die. Frenchman, I’m on my deathbed!!!”
“YOU’RE NOT DYING! STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC!” Noelle retorted, facepalming. “I don’t for a moment believe that you’ve got a 108 F fever. Let me take your temperature.”
She reached for her own desk and opened the drawer of essential items that her mother had made her pack in a special pouch when she left for college - plasters, a bunch of medicine for most common ailments, and assorted items for emergency situations. She quickly found what she was looking for - a thermometer.
She crossed over to Noelle’s side of the bed, attaching the little plastic sleeve to the thermometer for hygiene purposes.
“But I totally am!” Akarsha insisted. “Frenchman, can’t you feel the life sapping out of me?”
Once Noelle approached Akarsha’s bed, Akarsha grabbed Noelle’s hand, which was still holding the thermometer, and pulled Noelle’s hand to point the thermometer at Akarsha herself.
“This is thy sheath: there rust, and let me die!” Akarsha recited dramatically.
Then, she pressed the thermometer onto her sternum, mimicking a stabbing motion, and flung it and Noelle’s hand away as she rolled over, playing dead.
Noelle gaped at her. “What are you doing?!”
Akarsha flopped back up to croak out in a hoarse, wheezing voice, “I’m dead, Frenchman, dead.” She wiped away a stray tear, for dramatic effect.
“NO, YOU’RE NOT!”
“You killed me. With your dagger!”
Noelle huffed out an incredulous breath. “No, I did not! You stabbed yourself! And that’s not even a dagger! That’s just a thermometer!” She snatched the thermometer back. “Shakespeare would be rolling in his grave right now, you know, to see you butchering his play like this.”
“Oh, you wound me!” Akarsha sighed dramatically, in a poor imitation of a British accent. She sneezed again, and blew her nose loudly once more. If she was going to do that again, Noelle was going to throttle her. “What about I, who art already rolling in mine grave?”
“YOU ARE NOT ROLLING IN THY GRAVE!” Noelle yelled, her patience at its limits. “You probably just caught the flu bug! It’s flu season, anyway.”
“But I could be!” Akarsha retorted. “It’s about the principle of it, no?”
“No, it’s not!” If there was one thing Noelle hated, it was when people made factually inaccurate claims. “Statistically speaking, the chances of dying from a mild bout of flu as a young and healthy nineteen-year-old, in our present era of modern science and medicine, are low. You are not dying!”
“Low, but never zero, amirite?” Akarsha raised her eyebrows. “People have died from the flu before! I could totally have one of those killer flu viruses!”
Noelle shook her head incredulously, wondering why she was even having this frankly preposterous argument. “Those people were immunocompromised!”
“But what if I'm immunocompromised too? You never know!”
Noelle frowned at her. “You clearly are not.”
“But I could be! What if I get like…” Akarsha’s eyes darted to the side, one fist propped onto her chin as she assumed a thinking pose. “…Meningitis! What if I get, like, Meningitis, and those creepy parasites enter my brain and kill me, hmm? Ever considered that, Frenchman?”
“How would you even get that? There hasn't been a case of meningitis in our city in ages! All of our water is boiled first before it’s drunk!”
“Well, I could be the first one to get it in ages! What if I’m just that unlucky, Frenchman? You have to consider the possibility!”
Noelle slapped a palm to her face, exhausted and exasperated. “Why am I even having this conversation with you??!”
“Because you know I’ve got a point. What if I’m deathly ill, Frenchman? You've got to save me then!”
Noelle facepalmed for the second time. “If you continue being so ridiculous, I'm leaving you to perish.”
Akarsha gasped, one hand flying to her mouth dramatically. “You’re just going to leave me to die? What the hell? Frenchman, you're so heartless! I can't believe you!”
“That’s the consequence you get for being absolutely insufferable and harassing me endlessly on this fine afternoon!”
Noelle reached into her drawer and took out her little box of Tylenol pills. She raised the little red-and-white packet high in the air so that Akarsha could see it, and then dangled it just out of Akarsha’s grasp.
“See this? No Tylenol until you lie in bed quietly, obediently, and sleep. Like a normal person.”
“Oh, you want me in bed obediently?” Akarsha giggled and wiggled her eyebrows, meaningfully, a smirk on her curved lips. “Why, Frenchman, I didn’t know you’re into that!”
“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN - WHAT?!” Noelle spluttered and promptly bright red, her cheeks burning. “WILL YOU STOP WITH YOUR ABSURD INNUENDOS - THAT WAS NOT EVEN WHAT I - HOW DID YOU EVEN JUMP TO THAT - ”
Akarsha burst into laughter, rolling around in unconcealed glee. “Ahahahaha, Frenchman, if you could see the look on your face right now! You’re redder than a tomato!!”
“I - WHAT ON EARTH - ” Noelle spluttered for a good two minutes, floundering, struggling for words. “THE INDIGNITY - THE LUDICROUSNESS - THE UTTER DEPRAVITY OF YOUR MIND - ”
Akarsha only laughed even harder, rolling around on her bed with the force of it. “AHAHAHA, FRENCHMAN, YOUR FACE! IT'S KILLING ME!”
Her shoulders shook with mirth, wiping away tears, her laughter ringing out like clarion bells in their shared dorm room. Noelle’s chest panged with a strange sensation, something in her stomach leaping. All of a sudden, her throat felt very, very dry.
Ever since they’d turned eighteen, Akarsha had started slipping innuendos into their bickering - and into everyday speech like a little clown - with increasing frequency, to Noelle’s great alarm and horror. Noelle would always react with scandalized spluttering, her own cheeks betraying herself and flushing bright red, and Akarsha would point and laugh even harder.
To be teased like this, made Noelle feel a bizarre sensation, somewhere between mortification and - she didn’t have a name for the feeling in her chest, only that sometimes her chest clenched up when Akarsha laughed like that and made Noelle blush.
“I - You - You shut your mouth right now, you - FINE, BE LIKE THAT, I’M LEAVING!” Noelle finally seethed, fleeing the dorm and slamming the door behind her.
The nerve of that girl!
Noelle's heart raced in her chest, so much that she was afraid she was going to suffer cardiac arrest on the spot. Oh, but it would be just like Akarsha to give Noelle an actual heart attack. Death by the-menace-called-Akarsha driving Noelle crazy seemed like less and less of an exaggeration these days.
In the end, Noelle lasted three hours before she returned to their dorm. She hadn’t managed to take Akarsha’s temperature, so she still didn’t know how severe the fever was. Although, probably not that bad, considering the fact that Akarsha could still laugh and roll around and joke like that. Still, it was best to be safe - Akarsha was right, although the likelihood of her being done in by one bout of flu wasn’t high, it was still not zero.
Noelle returned to the sight of Akarsha wrapped in a burrito blanket again, albeit with her head sticking out this time. Noelle approached her warily, peering at her face with great trepidation, and found with immense relief that she was asleep.
Oh, thank heavens. At least when she's asleep she can't terrorize me.
She deposited her little box of Tylenol on Akarsha's table, together with a glass of cool water. She left the thermometer, too, next to the pills. Then, she stood in front of Akarsha for a few moments, observing her. She hated to admit it, but… Akarsha had grown up really pretty. She’d started wearing her hair down, long thin black strands hanging down her back, and they framed her face so neatly, and -
What on earth were these thoughts?
Noelle sprang back with alarm. What had gotten into her lately? Maybe the sleep deprivation had gotten to her, the nights she'd spent staying up cramming for exams must have given her brain damage -
Abruptly, Akarsha stirred, breaking into a fit of coughing. The coughing sounded sharp and painful, even to Noelle's ears. She winced at the sound.
Akarsha sat up groggily, clutching her head. “Ugh, Frenchman, I feel like shit. I feel like someone just murdered me and then brought me back to life violently - ”
“Why can't you just say ’I’m sick’ like a sane person!” Noelle snapped incredulously.
Akarsha shook her head vehemently. “But where would be the fun in that?” Suddenly, she clutched a hand to the side of her head. “Ow, shit, even shaking my head hurts. Frenchman, I told you I'm dying! You have to save me!”
“FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU ARE NOT DYING!” Noelle shouted. “Just take Tylenol and sleep!”
Akarsha sighed. “I don't know, Frenchman, I don't think I can even get up… Maybe you have to hand me the glass of water. Or… maybe you have to help me up.” She gave Noelle her best imitation of a puppy dog with pleading eyes, curling both her hands under her chin for dramatic effect.
“Ugh! Stop giving me that atrocious look! I'm not helping you up, you can get up yourself and walk! Your table is not even that far!”
“Please, Frenchman? Pretty please?” Akarsha batted her eyelashes, further intensifying her pleading puppy expression. She looked absurd.
“I - why on earth should I even help you!”
“Because you want to be kind and altruistic? Because you took pity on poor old me, and decided to humor poor Juliet on her deathbed, before she tragically passed away?”
“For the last time, you are NOT on your deathbed! And since when were you Juliet?”
Ever since she took a single Literature elective last semester, Akarsha had been absolutely insufferable, slipping Shakespeare references everywhere and launching into dramatic renditions of famous scenes at random. Except she butchered all of the lines irreverently - whether simply to annoy Noelle, or whether she wanted to make a show of mocking Literature and the art of theatre - Noelle didn’t know and didn’t want to know.
“Then who am I?” Akarsha reached out and grabbed Noelle’s hand. “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou? Wherefore art moi?” she recited dramatically, in what Noelle felt was a painfully poor imitation of a Shakespearean monologue.
Noelle shoved her hand away. “Ugh, don’t touch me when you’re sick! You could spread it to me!”
Akarsha cackled and redoubled her efforts to grab Noelle’s hand. “Rubbing my germy little hands all over you! If I have to suffer with flu, you have to too!”
Noelle screeched and leapt a safe distance away. “STOP TOUCHING ME!” she roared. “Also, wherefore art moi isn’t even a valid sentence. You’re mixing up two different languages!”
Akarsha shrugged. “Am I? French, old English, eh, it’s all about the same. They’re all written by old white men.”
Noelle supposed she had to concede that point. “That’s true.”
“So, Frenchman? Are you going to give me a true love’s kiss before I die?” Akarsha said, wiggling her eyebrows. She sat up, leaning over the edge of her bed to inch her face closer to Noelle’s.
“I - what on earth? What is wrong with you!” Noelle shoved her face away. “Ugh, you’re sick, you’ve got a million germs on you, I'm warning you, stay away from me!”
Akarsha grinned and chortled even more, climbing off her bed and advancing towards Noelle. “You can’t get away from me, Frenchman! You’re in my clutches forever!”
“Why on earth are you even so energetic when you’re sick, anyway!” Noelle yelled, trying valiantly to fend her off. What was wrong with this girl! “Aren’t you supposed to be dying? Not dying anymore?”
Akarsha paused. “Well,” she shrugged, closing her eyes briefly and curving her lips into a sardonic smile. “What can I say. Maybe annoying you gives me energy, Frenchman. You could even say it brings me back from the dead.”
“What - that's illogical.” Noelle frowned. “If you’re dead, how can you come back? Resurrection isn't real.”
“Well, reincarnation is a thing in at least four different religions, you know, Frenchman? I can’t believe you didn’t know that.”
“That's not the same as resurrection! And it's not even scientifically proven that reincarnation exists - ”
Akarsha shook her head sadly. “Oh, poor Frenchman! You really are ignorant of the ways of the world! Come, let me enlighten our poor philistine Frenchman - ”
“DON’T CALL ME A ‘’POOR PHILISTINE FRENCHMAN'!” Noelle roared. “And save your theology lecture for after you recover!”
Akarsha was an absolute menace. Truly, Noelle had no idea how she'd managed to survive sharing a dorm room with Akarsha for so long without snapping and committing an act of violence.
Unfortunately, Akarsha’s fever seemed to worsen over the next couple of days. She even threw up a couple of times, which both disgusted and horrified Noelle. Akarsha did not in fact take the Tylenol, and so she continued coughing and shivering on the bed. When Noelle found the little packet of unused, unopened pills, she was furious.
“Why didn’t you take the medicine!”
“Because I’m trying to display the strength of my immune system, Frenchman,” Akarsha replied. Her voice sounded much weaker now than two days ago. It seemed that this virus, whatever it was, was really doing a number on her.
Noelle huffed out an indignant breath. She finally decided to take matters into her own hands and shoved the thermometer into Akarsha’s mouth, ignoring her muffled attempts at protesting and flailing.
After a few seconds, the thermometer beeped, and digits flashed on the small screen. Noelle squinted at it.
And her jaw promptly dropped.
“102 DEGREES??!! Akarsha, you should be in a hospital! We should take you to a hospital right now - ”
Akarsha shook her head. “No, Frenchman… that’s gonna be expensive. Just let me perish - Or maybe carry me to a nurse - ”
“AKARSHA! This is not the time for one of your jokes! Alright, listen, take this now. Quickly.” Noelle handed her the Tylenol pill. Her hands were shaking. Why were her hands shaking?
The pill lay on Akarsha’s open palm. She didn’t move.
“Why aren’t you eating it!”
Akarsha coughed weakly. “I…” Another fit of coughing. “I’m too tired to get up, Frenchman… Maybe you'd have to feed me.” She sighed dramatically.
“No way! Why on earth would I feed you?”
Akarsha opened her mouth to retort, but sneezed loudly. Her head flopped back down onto the pillow.
It was then that Noelle noticed that beads of perspiration were dotting her forehead, her hair matted and drenched in perspiration. It was discomfiting to see her like this, so different from her usual energetic self. She seemed too tired to even joke around anymore. Worry burned a hole in Noelle’s ribs. Just how bad was this flu? Could Akarsha actually… sustain damage to her body or brain from this?
Noelle leaned over and supported Akarsha’s back, trying to help her up. She brought the glass of water to Akarsha’s lips, together with the pill. Noelle wasn’t sick often, and when she was sick she usually tried to power through, so she’d rarely had anyone to help her up to drink water and take medicine. She was simply going off of what she thought people did for their friends or family, when they had a sick someone to take care of. She hoped she wasn't doing it wrong.
Akarsha finally, finally, weakly drank the water and swallowed the pill, and promptly dissolved into another fit of coughing.
“Frenchman, thank you… Ugh, I really feel like I'm dying now,” Akarsha croaked, flopping back onto the sheets.
“You shut your mouth and rest now!” Noelle cried. “If your fever doesn't go down, I'm taking you to the hospital.”
Akarsha blinked. She smiled weakly. “Frenchman, if I didn't know any better… I'd think you're worried about me.”
“I - what?! No I'm not - ” Noelle spluttered. “I just - can't stand such inanely foolish behavior, that's all. Who gets a fever and doesn't take medicine?”
Akarsha shrugged her shoulders. “Well, that's kinda rich coming from you who always just ’powers through' when you're sick…”
“That's different,” Noelle said. “I actually take medicine. Unlike you.”
“And you also fall sick more often than me, so that means you lose. Weak ass immune system, HAHAHA.”
She laughed, which quickly dissolved into another bout of coughing.
“How are you calling me weak when you're in such a state!” Noelle cried. She could feel how dry her own throat was, sick with worry.
Akarsha coughed weakly, gasping for breath. “Ugh… I really feel like shit. This is awful, man.” Suddenly, her eyes blinked open as a thought struck her. “Hey, Frenchman, if I die… ...would you miss me?”
“You are NOT dying, don't you even dare!” Noelle snapped. She gripped Akarsha's hand. “You, rest now, and drink lots of water… I'm gonna head to Walmart and get some ice packs. You'd better be asleep when I get back.”
Akarsha sighed. “Yes, mom.”
“Ew, don't call me that,” Noelle groused, and then spun on her heels, preparing for a trip to the nearest store.
She returned to Akarsha thankfully asleep, wrapped up in the burrito blankets. She carefully wrapped the ice pack in a piece of cloth and set it on Akarsha's forehead to cool her down. She'd also come back armed with some over-the-counter medicine from a drugstore.
When Akarsha next awoke, she fed her the pills, giving her a big glass of water. Akarsha was too sick to even speak much, other than mumbling “Thanks, Frenchman.”
“Akarsha Iyer, you have to get better,” Noelle hissed under her breath, using her full name. “Don't you dare pass out on me. If anything happened to you, I'll never forgive you!”
Akarsha coughed weakly. “Frenchman, that's kinda unfair. If anything happened to me, how's that my fault?”
“You are not dying, shut the hell up. I forbid it!” Noelle glared.
“Frenchman, you haven't answered, will you miss me if I die?”
“Of course I will!” Noelle snapped. “What kind of preposterous question is that?”
“R-really?” Akarsha asked weakly. Her eyes were so wide all of a sudden, even as she drew in a rattling breath.
Noelle swallowed thickly. Where had this terrible, utterly humiliating lump in her throat come from? “I… I'd be really mad at you if you died,” she gritted out.
“And?”
“And what?”
“And you'd...”
“And, I… ALRIGHT, FINE I'D MISS YOU IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO YOU! HAPPY?”
Akarsha gasped. She stared at Noelle, jaw hanging open in shock. “...You wouldn't be glad if I were gone? Glad such a ‘menace’ like me is finally out of your hair?”
“No! I - I'd rather you prank me everyday than be dead!”
“Frenchman, am I dreaming? Am I delirious from fever? Quick, pinch me.” She darted out a hand and tried to grab Noelle's hand, to use it to pinch hers, and Noelle batted her away, shooting her another glare.
“Stop that! You already have a 102 F fever, and you're still messing around! You need rest, you absurd fool!”
Akarsha opened her mouth to retort some other silly remark, but then another severe bought of coughing wracked its way through her ribs. She groaned loudly. “I suppose you're right, Frenchman…”
Thankfully, to Noelle's great relief, Akarsha soon grew too tired to fool around anymore, and fell asleep.
Noelle stayed by Akarsha's side feeding her soup and medicine, bringing her a glass of water. To say she was worried sick was an understatement. The thought of something happening to Akarsha was terrifying. What would Noelle say to Diya and Min, who were a whole two cities away?
Two days later, Akarsha’s fever finally subsided, and she was back to normal on the third day.
“So, Frenchman, did you mean what you said two days ago…” Akarsha leaned over the desk where Noelle was sitting and writing an assignment. Noelle batted her away.
“Huh? What did I say two days ago? And go away, you're blocking me!’’
“Maybe I do want to block you,” Akarsha replied. “And, I mean when you were… you know.” She said casually, “When you said that you’d miss me, if anything happened to me.”
Noelle didn’t know why, but heat crept up the back of her neck instantly. “WHAT? I NEVER SAID THAT!”
“Yes, you did! I heard it, and everything! I even made sure to ask again, just in case I heard wrong the first time - ”
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH! YOU MUST HAVE HEARD WRONG, YOU WERE DELIRIOUS FROM THE FEVER.”
“No way! I know I was running a high fever, but my ears were still working fine. Come on, Frenchman, admit it, you liiike meee - ” She tried to lean her face close to Noelle’s again, wiggling her eyebrows in that ridiculous way of hers, invading Noelle’s personal space.
“UGH, GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU’RE PROBABLY STILL CONTAGIOUS FROM THE FLU, DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME - ”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Frenchman! I’ll always be here to annoy you! Even if I died, I’ll haunt the hell out of you! Hahaha, hahaha…”
Her laughter rang like bells in the room, her dark eyes scrunched up in unadulterated mirth. She was so ridiculous, this little clown, and Noelle felt something in her chest rise absurdly, almost akin to fondness. She'd come close to losing Akarsha, but she found herself absurdly glad that she hadn't.