Work Text:
October 31, 1981
James had felt it. The wards, as Peter came through and walked up toward the door, giving it a knock. But it wasn't the same, something was off. The wards felt a dark presence go through, almost unhuman. James gets off the couch, unknowingly leaving his wand behind. Too cautious as to Lily and Harry being upstairs. He heads towards the door, opening it slowly to reveal Peter, his hair in a disheveled state, his clothes dark as if to hide himself from others. Peter looked… Different . Very different from when he last saw him, a chill ran down his spine, almost as if telling him to go, but he trusted Peter with his life. This was his friend, his closest friend. So he opened the door wide, stepping to the side to let Peter in, giving a greeting as Peter rushed frantically in.
“James, I found it, I found it” Peter was mumbling under his breath. Pacing back and forth though the living room, James followed him inside, closing the door behind him. Peter looked frantic, his eyes wide and his mouth twisted up into something sad, scared, but there was something else, behind his face that could just barely be seen, but James couldn't make out what it was.
“Peter… calm down, what's going on?” James says, walking towards his friend, he puts a hand on Peter's shoulder, snapping Peter out of his trance.
“James? James!” Peter says, grasping at James hands in a tight grip. Eyes wide and shocked as if seeing him for the first time.
“Peter? Peter, relax. Sit down. What's going on?” James says, trying to lead them over to the sitting area.
“No…” Peter stops dead in his tracks, turning to James, face contorted in an unreadable expression. “No. We don't have time. You have to come with me, james. We have to go.” Peter's voice came out frantic, reaching for James arm as he started to pull him towards the door.
“Peter, i don't understand,” James starts, but Peter turns to him, face dark and breaking with unbridled pain.
“James, he’s coming, and he’s coming to kill, James.” Peter's face went painfully cold, something James had never seen before. “And I can't let him have you James, please , come with me.” His voice pleading as he tightened his hold on James.
“Who?!” James' eyes went wide at the implication, “Peter, who is coming?!” He grabbed Peter's shoulders, shaking him slightly. His brain is going miles a minute.
“The Dark Lord. He's coming, James. He wants the boy.” Peter's voice darkened at the mention of Harry, leaving James confused. Why was Peter acting this way? What the fuck is happening? Suddenly, James' brain caught up to the sentence, the implication.
“W-What?” James voice was full of shock, “We- Fuck- we have to go, i'll go pack and get Lily and Harry-”
“No.”
James froze, words dying in his throat at Peter's harsh tone.
“Peter, what are you-”
“No.” Peter's voice went unbelievably darker this time, tone harsh and different from how he remembered. His Peter wasn't like this. The one they had spent Christmas with, filled with laughter and Joy, this Peter was cruel, and James didnt like it one bit.
“We need to go, now” Peter locked eyes with James, eyes cold, “Just us , we have to leave them.”
James felt his stomach drop. Surely he wasn't saying… he couldn't- he wouldn't .
“Peter… I can't leave them. They're my family for merlin's sake. Lily’s your friend .” James speaks, almost fearful, he didn't understand where this was coming from.
“Oh please , James. Lily was just the one thing keeping me from you .” Peter's voice grew colder, shocking James. “Lily and Harry are nothing , just another blip in the wizarding world. You don't love them, and you sure as hell don’t need them”
“Of course I love them, I can't leave them-” James starts, but Peter interrupts him easily.
“Listen, we can talk about this later. But we need to go James. And we need to go now ”
Peter tugs James along toward the door, but James doesn't move, his mind going in endless confusing circles. His feet planted to the floor even as Peter tries, but fails, to drag him along.
“Peter, I don't understand, where is all this coming from?” James speaks, though his breath is too shallow for the words to come out more than a whisper. “Why would you want us to leave them? They’re your friends, your family . Nothing makes sense! How could he have even found -” but the words cut short, the pieces of the puzzle in his brain coming together to form a perfect piece.
Peter.
The unhuman wards, the feeling . Peter at his door, begging him to come, to leave his family. The Dark Clothes, long sleeves coming up to his arms, unusual for someone like Peter. The cold stares, hard tone. The urgency in his voice. Convincing James to go with him. That ‘something else’ hiding behind his gaze. They way he darkened speaking of Lily or Harry. The term “The Dark Lord” that no one called him except for-
Oh.
“Come with me”
Oh no.
Peter.
His secret keeper.
His friend .
“It was you.” James said, shaking out of Peter's grip and stepping away from him. His tone wasn't a question. It was an accusation.
Peter turned to James, his face blank.
That told James all he needed.
“Why.” James' voice cracked as he spoke.
“James,” Peter said exasperated, “What was I supposed to do?”
Then James remembered, the wards, the unhuman .
“He’s out there, isn't he?”
Peter sighed before speaking, “...Yes.”
James opened his mouth to speak, scream, yell, just say anything . But no word could come out of his mouth.
Peter.
Peter had betrayed them.
“ James. You don't get it, you have to come with me”
James couldn't move. Couldn't breathe.
“ Why? ” His voice came out hoarse and dry.
“Because... I love you, James.”
The world stopped spinning. The air condensed around him.
Peter… what?
“What ?” He spoke aloud, his voice cracked and soft, tinged with hurt and pain.
“God, you really are dense aren't you?” Peter let out a laugh, but it was dry, fake . “You never noticed, did you? Of course you didn't. From the day I met you, I was gone for you. Following you around like a lost puppy, while you, Sirius, and Remus would speak of all your Adventures. I was there, and I loved you. And then- then , I made the biggest mistake of all time. I had introduced you to Lily, and from that point on, you were gone, and I no longer had you. From that point forward it was always her . Her, you were looking at. Her, you would try and impress. Her, you would take on dates once she finally said yes. Her, you were obsessed with. Her, Her, Her . And she didn't even love you through half of it. Taking her sweet time. But I did. I loved you, and you never saw me. No one did.” Peter's voice grew colder, and James was left defenseless. “But I never stopped loving you, James. I never will. Don't you understand James? I convinced him to let you go, to give me time. To convince you to come with us, come with me . We can finally be together, you and me. With the Dark Lord on our side, we will win the war James. And when we do, You and I can be together, forever . Don't you see? Were soulmates , James”
James' head was spinning. Peter… What was he saying? This was insane. And James thought to say as much.
“What. The. Fuck.” was all that could come out of his mouth, his body backing up until he was against the wall, fear, disgust, and pain written across his every feature. He instinctively reaches into his back pocket, looking for his wand. Before he remembered… the couch.
He had left his wand on the couch.
“I'll give you one more chance James.” Peter said, voice bearing hardness and pleading all together. “Come with me, be with me ” He takes two steps closer, getting into James space, his wand in his right hand, but his face was desperate, desperate for James to say yes.
“Your fucking insane ” James spat. Body pressed against the wall, hatred flowing through his veins.
Peter's face hardened, hiding any of the feelings he had before. His eyes were empty and cold, as James had never seen before. His posture rightened, and his wand was raised as he looked James in the eye.
Peter stares at him for a moment, eyes dead, and James can’t help but know what’s coming.
“Goodbye, James”
Lily! Harry! Run!
And as the flash of green hit him, he had prayed that he said those words aloud.
-
No one could say what exactly went down the night of October 31rd, 1981. Because no one was there. No one knew.
But Peter did. He knew.
He would never forget the night in October.
And as the flash of green was returned to him, many years later, with the war still raging and James son alive and fighting. Peter knew that even in the depths of hell, he'd always remember.