Work Text:
Ezra really stepped in it this time. What started as casually digging through the trash bins at a restaurant looking for dinner turned into a situation that no one in his position wanted to be in. It was a certain death sentence.
The restaurant owner had not been happy to see Ezra digging around back there and tried to shoo him off with a broom as if he were just some mangy animal. But for once Ezra actually found food that had been freshly thrown away, an entire meal! It was too good to pass up.
He lingered until the lights in the restaurant shut off and then went back to the bin to take his prize. Only, he hadn’t read the situation well enough and the next thing he knew there was a knife in his gut and the lights of cop cars, coming to take him away as the owner pleaded innocent.
Ezra staggered away from the restaurant. He dunked down alleyways avoiding the sounds of voices and lights, even as his own vision went blurry and his hearing garbled.
Ezra didn’t know where he was going, just that there was something warm and wet spreading underneath his threadbare clothes. He would bleed out before he found anywhere to go.
He was fourteen and spent the last eight years on the streets and that is where he would die too.
Ezra gasped away tears, every sob that wracked through his chest jolted the knife and sent pain through his body. He knew he was panicking, but there was nothing he could do.
Nothing mattered anymore anyway.
It was because of that that Ezra made the split second decision to break into a nearby house. One of those brick townhouses, tucked in between a bunch of others.
For some reason the owners seemed to have forgotten to close their front window which Ezra thanked every deity for in that moment. He pushed the screen up and fell onto the floor, muffling a shriek as the knife moved. He carefully dragged himself up and staggered over to a hallway and then to the open door of a bathroom. He tossed open the cabinet above the sink and found a first aid kit.
He sighed with relief at the sight of it. It was enough to lessen his anxiety, even if logically he knew it would do nothing for him. Hope was better than nothing at all.
He tried to stand, tried to head back to the window, but his legs kept giving out. He was sweating and breathing heavily, and maybe he was crying too, his ears weren’t working well anymore.
Ezra didn’t know what to do when he saw a light click on and hesitant footsteps coming down the stairs. Ezra knew they probably already called the police and he would probably die in the back of a cop car.
He sobbed and dropped the kit and raised his arms in surrender just as a man rounded the corner.
“I’m s-sorry. So-rry.” Ezra stuttered and cried, hanging his head.
He vaguely realized the man had kneeled in front of him, and that he was talking to someone, a woman who stood at the door with a small child in her arms.
“Hera, call an ambulance."
“I already did.”
Ezra would barely keep his eyes open after that. He blinked rapidly, trying to retain consciousness.
“Come on, kid! Stay awake! ” The man shouted, but Ezra knew he’d lost too much blood. He passed out in the man’s arms.
Ezra was surprised to realize that he had woken up. That he hadn’t died after last night. He felt sore and nauseous, his eyes hurt as he pried them open just to be bombarded with bright white light. He tried to sit up, only to whimper at the pain in his gut.
“Hey, hey, don’t sit up, kiddo.” A woman’s voice said.
Ezra blinked in her direction. She looked vaguely familiar, but otherwise Ezra didn’t recognize her.
“Where…am I?” He gritted out.
“Hospital. You were stabbed.”
Ezra nods, “Who’re you?”
“My name is Hera, you sort of broke into my house last night.”
“Sorry.” Ezra mumbles.
“That’s okay, we were able to get you help. I’m glad you’re awake.”
“Why?”
“Why what, kiddo?”
“Why’d you help me?”
“I would help anyone who was hurt and bleeding all over my bathroom.” She said matter-of-factly.
Ezra groaned in response. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just wondering how it happened.”
“Restaurant owner didn’t like me digging through his trash.” He replies.
He could open his eyes fully now and noted the woman that was talking to him had kind green eyes, dirty blonde hair dyed green at the tips, and was wearing oversized pajamas and a hoodie with the local university’s logo on it. Ezra didn’t look at her long. He felt guilty.
“What’s your name?” She asks.
Ezra shrugs, “Does it matter?”
“It does to me.”
“You’re just going to have me arrested or something.”
“Of course not, why would I do that?”
“I broke into your house and tried to steal something.”
“You broke into my house with a stab wound and tried to use a first aid kit. I don't think that counts as burglary, kiddo.” She chuckles softly.
“So you’re not pressing charges?”
“Of course not. You’re just a kid.” Ezra frowned at that. “Do you have anybody I can call? Do you have somewhere to go?”
“I don’t have parents if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I wasn’t. I’m just asking if you have anyone I can call.” Ezra shakes his head, “Not even a foster home? A teacher or a friend?”
Ezra looks back at her with wide eyes. “No, please no fosters.”
Hera nods, “My husband preferred the streets too. He said foster homes were a different kind of evil most of the time.”
“Your husband was like me?”
She nods, “I don’t know exactly what your situation is, but Kanan lost his parents as a baby. He lived in lots of different homes until he was around fourteen and then he ran away and lived on the streets until he grew up.”
“Yeah, something like that.” Ezra sighed and looked away, “Was he the man I saw last night?”
“Mhm, he’s talking with the doctors now.” She looked over her shoulder to the door.
Ezra turned his head to see the tall man with tanned skin and long dark hair, also standing in a pair of scrubs. He was holding a small child as he talked to a woman in a white coat, another woman in a casual shirt and jeans, and a cop in a uniform.
“Is he a nurse or something?”
“Ah no, they gave him the scrubs because his pajamas got dirty.”
“Bloody, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not a kid, you don’t have to sugarcoat things for me.”
She shrugs, “It’s just the natural thing to do I guess. I don’t think anyone likes realizing how close they came to dying.”
“I’ve been on my own for a while now, this isn’t the first time.”
She looked sad, but nodded gently. Just then the man, Kanan, and the doctor come into the room, while the cop and the woman in casual clothing linger by the door. Kanan hands the child off to Hera, who sets the sleeping kid on her lap.
“Good morning Ezra, nice to see you’re doing better.” The doctor says.
He jolted when he realized she knew his name. He closed his mouth and didn’t say a word.
“You scared us there for a second, we almost lost you. Luckily, Kanan here was a blood type match for you and we were able to fix you up.” She smiled.
Ezra looked over to the man bewildered. He was a complete stranger, why would he give up blood for some street rat kid that broke into his house? Kanan, smiled gently and stood next to the chair that Hera sat in with the child.
“How are you feeling right now?” The doctor asks.
“I’m fine. Can I go?”
He looked around to the other adults in the room and felt trapped and uncomfortable. He looked back over to the cop and the woman next to him and felt his heart start to race when he realized she was a child services worker.
“Unfortunately not, that knife did quite a number on you and we need to keep you for observation in case of infection.” Ezra swallowed hard.
Eventually they would all leave and he would be able to steal some clothes and sneak away. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Are you in any pain currently?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay, that’s good.” She smiles kindly and turns slightly toward the social worker, “So, Ms Inicia informed us of your situation. She mentioned you are a missing ward of the state.”
Ezra once again, kept quiet and didn’t look at any of them.
“And according to law, we have to make sure you have guardians to watch over you in a time like this.”
“I will not go back to another foster home!” He gritted out angrily.
“We can’t leave you on your own, you’re still a minor. I’m sorry, but this is what has to happen.” The social worker, Ms Inicia, says.
“I don’t want to be assigned to some people who don’t give a shit about me! I’m just a source of money for them! They don’t care! They never care!” He yelled and found himself turning his gaze to Kanan.
The man’s lower lip was wobbling and he was roughly wiping tears off of his cheeks. Ezra looked away.
The social worker stepped forward, “You won’t be assigned to complete strangers, Kanan and Hera volunteered.”
His eyes shifted back to Hera who smiled softly. Ezra didn’t say anything or protest. At least they would be easy to slip away from. Ezra knew that every foster parent who already had a child meant nobody would be paying attention to him. That’s how it always was. They wouldn’t care about him, they already had a kid they cared about. One that was actually theirs.
He hung his head and stared down at his lap. “Whatever.” He mumbled.
He could imagine the way the adults shared relieved looks at his lack of protesting. He knew if he was tame now, they would trust him long enough to let him slip away later on. He just had to deal with the fake coddling and pretentious caregiving until then.
Ezra opts to ignore whatever the social worker is telling Kanan and Hera, whatever they’re signing or talking about or whatever. He doesn’t care. He just begrudgingly lets the doctor take his vitals and waits patiently for them all to leave.
Eventually the social worker does, but then the cop steps forward.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better, kid. Would you mind if I asked you some questions?” Ezra froze and the cop continued. “How did the stabbing happen?”
“Some guy.” Ezra said vaguely.
He looked to Hera expecting her to elaborate based on what he had told her earlier. To his surprise she didn’t. He wasn’t sure why, but she pretended to look clueless.
“Okay, where did this occur with this guy?”
“In an alleyway.”
“Kid, help me out here. Don’t you want to catch the person who did this?”
Ezra shrugs, “What does it matter?”
“It matters because people shouldn’t get away with stabbing kids.”
“I was stealing from him.” Ezra shrugs.
“You were stealing from him so he stabbed you?”
Ezra nods. “What were you stealing?”
Ezra hesitates, “Food. He threw some away outside of his restaurant. I waited until I thought he was gone to get it.”
The cop paused. “He threw it away? Kid, that’s not stealing then. So this man, a restaurant owner, stabbed you for taking something out of a dumpster?”
Ezra nodded slowly.
“We got a call last night from a diner on twenty-seventh and Hutt Street regarding a possible burglary, the man we talked to seemed concerned about someone taking his inventory and then getting away with it. One of you is lying, but I imagine that since you’re the kid with the stab wound from a kitchen knife, that you’re the innocent party here.”
Ezra shrugged, “Most people don’t like rats around their establishments. Can’t blame him for that.”
“Thank you, that’s all I need from you.” The cop said and left the room.
“I’ll have a nurse bring in some food for you.” The doctor said with a neutral smile and exited, leaving Ezra alone with Hera, Kanan, and their child.
“Why?” He asked them, he didn’t know who exactly he was speaking to.
“Why, what?” Kanan says.
“Why did you volunteer to watch me? I’ve caused you nothing but problems.”
“I was where you were once.” Kanan says.
“Yeah, she told me.” He pointed to Hera, “That doesn’t mean you owe me anything.”
Kanan shrugs, “Maybe not. But I do know what it’s like to need some help and not know how to ask for it.”
“I don’t need help. I’m fine on my own.”
“Right. And where would you have been without help this time?”
Ezra crosses his arms over his chest and looks away.
“Just give us a chance. When you get discharged you can come home with us and heal, and we can figure it out from there.”
“As in, you’ll find some other home to put me in when you don’t want to deal with me anymore. No thanks. Just sign whatever papers they give you and let me go back to fending for myself. It’s what I do best.”
“Ezra, please, we can’t do that. We won’t do that.”
“Listen, you seem like nice people, but I’ve been in this situation before. You have a kid already, I’m just some obligation. I’m not worth anyone’s time or money.”
Kanan closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, “I used to think the same way. You think you have to be alone because you don’t belong to anyone, but we care about you, kid.”
“You don’t even know me. How can you say you care about someone you don’t even know?”
“Because everyone deserves to have someone to care for them. We want to get to know you, we want to be around for you.”
“Why? Is this some childhood redemption thing? You think you’ll make yourself feel better about what happened to you by helping me?”
Kanan shakes his head, “No. Not at all. Hera and I just firmly believe that every kid needs a home. People who love and support them. Every kid deserves a shot at a future and a life where they don’t have to constantly think about their own survival. I was there once. It sucked to be on my own. I don’t want you to have to miss out on more of the childhood you barely ever had. I don’t want you to start your adult life being scared, confused, alone, and broke. Let us help you.”
Ezra had to admit, he was pretty convincing, but years of dealing with foster parents who only pretended to care was even more convincing. They would give up on him eventually. It probably wouldn’t even take that long. So Ezra nodded, Ezra agreed to go with them when he was discharged.
Ezra got into their little sedan four days later with his meager belongings and stared out of the window as he sat next to their kid. Ezra learned that the kid’s name was Jacen, he was four, and his parents loved him very much. Ezra found himself feeling jealous of a toddler for not the first time in his life.
The little boy tried to offer Ezra his toys, he tried to talk to Ezra, make him laugh, or at least have some reaction, but Ezra didn’t budge and the kid gave up. Kanan and Hera didn’t say much on the drive back to their home. Ezra knew he was already disappointing them.
This should be easy then.
Hera and Kanan had come and gone from his hospital room over the last few days. He assumed one of them went home to clean up the blood early on because the entryway and bathroom revealed no traces of the previous incident. Kanan took little Jacen to the kitchen for a snack and Hera smiled and motioned for Ezra to follow.
“Your room is right up here.” She led him up the stairs and into a long hallway and to a door on his right.
The room was fairly big, bright, and minimal. There was a full sized bed with a blue comforter, matching curtains, and fluffy pillows. Admittedly it was much nicer than anywhere Ezra had slept in a long time. He set his bag down by the door.
“I’ll let you get settled, okay? Kanan is making lunch, so I’ll call you when it’s ready, or if you want I can bring it to you. Whichever you prefer.”
Ezra pauses, “To me?”
“Sure, I realize it might be awkward to eat with us right now, but I don’t want you to feel isolated either if you do want to come downstairs and eat with us. Do whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
Ezra shrugs, “Most homes I’ve been in didn’t let me eat in my room.”
“Maybe if you were younger I wouldn’t either, I’m constantly afraid of Jacen choking on something. But you’re a teenager, you need your space and I understand that. Just know you’re welcome to join us any time.”
Ezra nods and Hera gives him one last smile before heading out.
She does call him for lunch an hour later, Ezra grabs his plate and tells them both thank you and heads up to the room. He couldn’t think of it as ‘his’ room.
He spent most of his time during the week there, he didn’t leave for any reason other than getting meals and using the bathroom. Kanan showed him where the towels were and the shower faucet's weird quirks. Admittedly. It was nice to be able to take a shower and have warm food, but Ezra knew that their patience would inevitably wear thin. He had nothing to offer them, they didn’t even ask him to do chores.
He knew it’s probably because they didn’t plan on keeping him around long.
One day, two weeks after the incident, Ezra left ‘his’ room to use the bathroom when he heard swearing coming from the kitchen. Curiously, he tip-toed down the stairs, remembering which ones he had mapped out as being creaky and which ones were safe. He peeked his head around the corner wall and into the kitchen where Hera was coughing and turning on the stove fan.
“Well…it doesn’t look too bad.” She shrugs at whatever was in the pan and sets it off to the side to go stir a different pot on the stove.
Whatever it was smelled a little burnt, but quite good otherwise. Ezra crept in a little closer to try to see what it was causing a floorboard to crack underneath him.
Hera turned slowly with a smile. “Hi, Ezra, how’re you?”
He shrugs, “Fine. What are you making?”
“Um, that’s actually a very good question.” She chuckles, “Kanan has this recipe book and I wanted to try to make one of them, but I seem to always forget I’m not much of a cook.”
She pursed her lips and showed him a pan that was burnt on one side and completely raw on the other.
Ezra found himself laughing at Hera. She was standing there in what Ezra assumed to be her pajamas, a cropped tank top and a pair of flannel pants that might have been Kanan’s, and staring disappointedly into the worst looking pan in existence.
Something about her was just so real, so human, and relatable. She wasn’t like other foster moms Ezra had had in the past. Not to mention her hair was partially dyed green and her tank top revealed some geometric tattoos on her arms. He found himself actually liking a foster parent for once.
“I mean, I’m sure you’re probably better at other things.” Ezra chuckled breathlessly.
“Oh sure, give me calculus problems anyday, but cooking? That’s Kanan’s thing.” She set the pan down with a sigh and then started cleaning up her mess.
“Where is Kanan? And your son?”
“Jacen had to get some shots today since he’ll be starting school soon, so they’re both at the doctor’s.”
“You didn’t want to go with them?”
“Ah well, I figured you would get hungry eventually and maybe I could stay and try my hand at lunch. But ah, you might have fared better with something microwaved.” She scratched the back of her neck.
Ezra laughed softly again, “Thanks, I appreciate it anyway.”
She smiled at him, and scraped the burnt remains into the trash. She opened up the dishwasher to load it before finding some microwavable meals for the two of them. Instead of taking his tray upstairs immediately, Ezra lingered by the doorway, and then turned back around to sit with Hera. She seemed pleased, but didn’t question it.
“Can I…ask you something?” Ezra asks.
“Of course, kiddo.”
“How long am I gonna be here?”
“However long you want to.” She looked at him gently, “Do you want to go?”
Ezra found himself shaking his head, “No. I like it here. It’s easier than being…out there. There’s food, a bed, and a shower. I just, I’m wondering when I’ll have overstayed my welcome. You guys have been really nice to me and I’ve done nothing, not even say thank you, I’m just using up your money. You have to be getting frustrated.”
“Ezra, we don’t expect anything from you. You’re not here to make us happy or be our servant or something, we just want you to have a safe place to go to. Somewhere where you’re not in danger, somewhere where you have food to eat and a bed to sleep in. You don’t have to earn your spot here, and you’re not overstaying at all. We want you here.” She says.
“I’m just being useless though.”
“You’re not being useless. You’re not useless, kiddo. You just need time to adjust. I imagine this life is hard to get used to after spending so long surviving. It was for Kanan.”
Ezra nods, “I guess that’s true.”
He takes a bite of his meal, Hera goes back to her own and they eat his silence for a while.
“Can I ask another thing?”
“Of course, Ezra. You don’t have to ask permission to ask questions, sweetheart.”
Ezra nods, slightly confused by that. Most foster parents asked for him to stay quiet. Don’t speak unless spoken too.
“What do you and Kanan do? Like, your jobs?”
“Well, I’m an aerospace engineer. I work at a company designing and testing aircrafts. Sometimes my prototypes get to go into space!” She says passionately.
“So you’re a rocket scientist?”
She laughs, “Yes, pretty much.”
“And Kanan?”
“His formal job title is stay-at-home dad, but he went to school to be a teacher, and when Jacen goes to preschool, he really wants to do his student teaching.”
“How old are you guys?”
“I’m twenty-four, Kanan is twenty-eight.” Ezra nods. “Are you finished? Would you like any more?”
Ezra shakes his head. “Where should I put this?”
Hera smiles, “Just give it a good rinse and stick it in the dishwasher. Kanan keeps this little magnet on it to show if the dishes are clean or dirty.”
Ezra nods and does as Hera instructed. “How old is Jacen?”
“He just turned four this year.”
Ezra nods, “You guys are younger than I thought you were. You seem so…established.”
“Established? Like we have our shit together?”
Ezra smiles, “Sort of, but I mean, you seem to just get each other? Like sometimes you talk without even saying anything, and you just interact with each other like you’ve been married for thirty years or something? I don’t know?” Ezra feels a little silly as he says it, “All the parents in other homes I’ve been in seemed so fake. Like they barely knew anything about the other person despite being married to them. You guys aren’t like that.”
Hera smiles, “Well, he’s my best friend. We were friends for years before ever getting together. I mean, even though we’ve gone domestic—gotten married, had a baby—that never changed.”
“How did you meet each other?”
“When I was in high school, I took dual enrollment classes at his college. One day we struck up a conversation in the library and then we just didn’t stop talking. Even when he graduated, we always made time to hang out and talk and when I was eighteen, he asked me out on a date and the rest is pretty self-explanatory.”
Ezra smiled for a second and drummed his hands on the table. Hesitating. “Can I go to school?” Ezra blurts out.
Hera looks surprised, but delighted. “Of course you can!”
“I just…I haven’t been to school since I was eight. Everyone is going to think I’m dumb.”
Hera looks at him softly. “Then, maybe Kanan and I can tutor you, homeschool you a bit until you’re up to the level you need to be. I think public school would be good for you, you could make some friends.”
Ezra nods, “Would you really help me?”
“Of course, kiddo! We can start whenever you like!”
“Okay.” He smiles, “Maybe later?”
“Perfect! If you need me I’m going to be here trying to salvage this pan before my sweet husband gets home and tells me it’s fine before banning me from the kitchen entirely.”
Ezra laughs breathlessly and goes to wander back up the stairs, but pauses halfway up and looks over the railing into the living room. He goes back down the stairs and over to the bookshelves where many books, diplomas, movies, and picture frames sat.
He looked over to the kitchen where Hera was indeed very busy and examined the pictures one by one.
The most recent ones were Jacen's previous birthday a few months ago. Ezra noted a few people he didn’t recognize, maybe friends of Kanan and Hera. There was even a man who kind of looked like Hera, maybe her father?
Jacen looked very thrilled with chocolate cake on his nose and Ezra couldn’t even remember the last time he even had cake…or celebrated a birthday. Maybe Kanan and Hera would let him…no, that was too much to ask for.
Ezra moved on, his eyes landed on a wedding picture. Hera stood in a long white dress and Kanan in a black suit. They faced the camera but looked at one another, like they forgot someone was even taking a picture of them. It was a sweet picture and there were a few more of what Ezra assumed was the ceremony and then afterwards.
Many were just the two of them hugging or sharing a kiss, but Ezra was surprised to see Hera had been pregnant in the photos. Ezra thought Jacen had come along long after his parents had gotten married.
Further down the shelf, he saw a picture of Hera looking annoyed at the camera, sitting at a dining room table doing some sort of work with one of her hands resting on a large baby bump. Kanan sat next to her, staring at her with an amused, affectionate smile, his hand rested on the back of her chair and he leaned close to her.
There were a few more like that, Hera with a round belly usually looking annoyed or tired, there were a few where she was smiling brightly.
One of which was clearly the day Jacen was born, both Kanan and Hera sat side by side on a hospital bed together, admiring a small baby.
Ezra wondered if his own parents looked at him like that once. He wanted to believe they did, but it had been so long since he’d known them.
He had been lost in thought and didn’t realize when something jumped onto his shoulders. Ezra startled as an orange and white cat scratched him and jumped away.
“Ow!” He looked at his arm, “What the heck!?”
Hera came running into the room and spotted him and then looked down at the cat lovingly rubbing against her feet.
“Chopper! Did you hurt Ezra?” She picked up the cat and looked at him chidingly. She set the cat down and sighed, “Are you okay, Ezra? Chopper can be a bit of an acquired taste. It took three years for him to stop picking fights with Kanan.”
Hera walked over to him and examined his arm, though careful not to touch him. She was always very careful about asking permission before touching him, Ezra liked that about her. So many adults just assumed kids want hugs or touches, but Ezra didn’t like his space being disrupted.
“We should wash that out. I’m sorry he did that.”
“I didn’t even know you had a cat until now.”
“Chopper can be elusive sometimes. Jacen thinks he goes to the cat realm to do cat things. I’m inclined to agree with him, but every so often he’ll show up and cause problems.” Hera motioned him to the bathroom, and Ezra followed happily to get some peroxide and a bandage.
“You guys have lots of pictures.”
“Kanan and my dad think everything is a ‘scrapbook-ortunity’.” She snorts, “Kanan’s words, not mine.”
“I think it’s nice. My parents used to have lots of pictures, but I don’t know what happened to them when I went into the system.”
Hera gave him a sympathetic look, “I’m sorry about that, kiddo. But just wait, I’m sure you’re going to show up on those shelves in no time.” She purses her lips and then adds, “If you want, that is.”
Ezra shrugs, “It doesn’t matter that much. I’m not family.”
Ezra turns to leave, but he doesn’t miss the single tear that falls down Hera’s cheek.
Ezra hears the telltale sound of Kanan and Jacen arriving back home and stands with his bedroom door open, just to hear what a happy family sounds like when they’re reunited.
He hears Jacen talking to Hera, telling her all about the scary shots he got and showing off his cool bandage, sticker, and lollipop. He hears Hera indulging him and giving him praise and then kissing Kanan hello.
Ezra is struck with an ache in his chest that hurts worse than hunger pangs or stab wounds.
He would never know what it’s like to be wanted like this. He would pretend to fit in all he wants, he could go to school, learn from Hera and Kanan, eat with them, get to know Jacen, but that wouldn’t ever erase the fact that he wasn’t theirs.
He wasn’t family.
He wasn’t anybody’s.
He was just some kid they took in off the street. No matter how much he liked them, no matter how much they insisted they wanted him around and liked him just as much. He wasn’t anything to them and he couldn’t be. That’s just how things worked.
Ezra made his decision.
After everyone had gone to bed, Ezra packed up his bag, filled with clothes they bought for him, snuck downstairs to the pantry to gather some food, and took off into the night.
Hera all but panicked when she woke up in the dead of night to Kanan shaking her awake.
“Hera!”
She sat up, quickly, breathing heavily at the sound of Kanan’s frantic voice. “What? What?”
“Ezra is gone!” Her eyes widened and she tossed the comforter off her legs and took off down the hall to Ezra’s bedroom.
Sure enough, the lights were off and the door was wide open.
“I looked everywhere, I couldn't find him.” Kanan ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Fuck.”
Hera sprinted down the stairs, she checked the couch, the bathroom, the basement, and the kitchen. Then ran back up the stairs to check everywhere else. Kanan was holding Jacen in his arms already, the boy looked tired and confused.
“Momma? What’s wrong?”
“We can’t find Ezra, kiddo.”
“Oh, did he get lost?”
Hera nods, and turns away from her son to hide her tears. “Stay here, I’m going to go look for him.”
“Hera, wait a minute! Let’s at least call your dad or Zeb to watch Jacen first. I’ll go with you.”
Hera held in a sob and nodded. Twenty minutes later her father stood at their doorstep, looking worried.
“The boy you took in ran off?” He asks.
Hera nods, “We’re going to go look for him.”
Her father nods shortly, “I understand, my dear. I’ll stay as long as you need.” He presses a kiss to his daughter’s head.
“Thank you Dad.” She hugs him and Jacen, kisses her son’s cheek and turns back to Kanan. His shoes were on and he had the car keys in hand.
“Thank you, Cham.” He says.
“I hope you find him.”
Kanan and Hera nod and run to the car parked on the street. “Where would a kid like him go? Where did you used to go?” Hera asks.
“I used to find places where people wouldn’t want to go looking for me. Abandoned buildings, tunnels, bridges. That sort of thing.”
“Would he stay in the area?”
“Probably. The restaurant he got hurt at isn’t too far from here, and he found our house, chances are he probably has somewhere to hunker down somewhere within those few blocks.”
They drove around for hours, until the light of dawn peeked over the buildings. Hera and Kanan were both exhausted.
“He doesn’t seem to want to be found.” Kanan whispers with a sniffle. Hera leans over the car’s center console to wipe tears off of Kanan’s cheeks.
“I don’t know why he would leave.” Hera sniffles, “We sort of bonded yesterday. I got him to laugh by being a terrible cook, he asked me questions, he even ate lunch with me. Chopper even got around to scratching him. He asked to go to school. He said he liked being with us. I don’t understand why he left!”
Kanan seemed surprised by this and then sighed. “Maybe he thought it was too good to be true? Or maybe he still doesn’t feel like he belongs?”
“How do we help him?”
“He has to want to be helped, Hera.”
Hera cries into his shoulder. “We’ll find him. We’ll find him.” She repeats, over and over. Until both of their tears cease.
Hera takes a deep breath. “Kanan, I’m going to walk around and see if I can’t find him.”
“Hera…we might just have to give him time.”
“He needs to know we want him, Kanan!”
“Then we make missing signs! Walking around in dangerous areas in the early hours of the morning isn’t going to help him.”
“He’s out there somewhere! In the dangerous areas! He could get hurt again and we might not be able to find him this time!”
“Hera…” Kanan pursed his lips and nodded. He turned off the car and got out with her.
She laced their hands together and for the next hour they walked around, block after block calling Ezra’s name to no avail. Kanan was doing as poor of a job keeping his tears in as Hera.
“I’m so worried about him.” Kanan exhales a shuttery breath. “It’s cold out here too. Do you know if he took any blankets?”
Hera shakes her head, “No, I don’t think he did.”
“Fuck. What about the coat we got him?”
Hera nods, “Yes, I think he took it.”
“Better than nothing.”
“What if he gets hungry? Or sick? Or hurt again?” Hera wrings out her hands nervously, “Winter is going to be coming soon. We need to find him! Should we call the police?”
“No, no, he would hide even better. The last thing a kid like him wants is the police trying to get him.”
Hera nods and hugs Kanan closely, pressing her cheek against his chest. “I think, maybe we should go home for now.” She says, “We’re both exhausted and freezing, we can’t help him like this.”
Kanan nods, “We’ll find him.”
All the while Ezra sat nearby, muffling his own cries into his warm coat, listening to them.
Hera takes off work for the rest of the week and Kanan was already prepared to go out looking for him again the moment they got back and gathered warmer clothes.
After six days, Kanan and Hera both cry on the couch long into the middle of the night as the first snowfall sets in.
“Did we fail him?” Hera asks.
Kanan shakes his head, “No, sometimes hell is the only existence people know. It’s hard to realize you deserve more when you’ve only known one thing for so long.”
Hera nods against his chest, and they both fall asleep on the couch.
Kanan wakes to the sound of timid knocking and springs awake, Hera jolts up against him, and they both look at one another and listen for a moment. There was one more knock on the door and then nothing.
They both scramble to the door and throw it open just in time to see Ezra’s retreating figure.
“Ezra!” Kanan calls.
The boy turns and looks up at them bewildered. Hera immediately rushes out into the snow barefoot and gathers Ezra into a tight embrace. She pulls away a second later with a sob, “Sorry for not asking first. I’m just so happy to see you. Come in, come inside where it’s warm.”
Ezra nods and holds onto her hand as she guides him in. Kanan lets out his own sob when he sees the boy.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, kid. You scared us to death.”
“Sorry.” Ezra mumbles.
He hesitates and then crashes into them, giving them a tight hug. They hold him back just as tightly.
Hera places a kiss on his wet hair, “I’m so happy to see you. Come on, take a warm shower and have something to eat.”
“I’m sorry."
“You have nothing to be sorry for, we’re just happy you’re home safe.” Kanan says.
Ezra’s jaw drops and he mouths the word ‘home’. He wipes his own tears away. He takes a warm shower, he eats a sandwich Kanan makes for him, and settles down into the bed they saved just for him.
They never make him explain why he left. They never even ask. Not the next morning, or the morning after that.
Instead, Kanan makes him breakfast and Hera makes him worksheets that he sits down and does with Kanan and he actually feels like he could do the whole school thing eventually.
Ezra also properly introduces himself to Jacen and the kid looks delighted the moment he does.
“I’m sorry I’ve been kind of weird. I’m Ezra.” He says as he sits down on the living room carpet where Jacen is playing one morning.
“I know you’re Ezra. I’m Jacen.”
“I knew that too.” Ezra smiles, “What are you playing?”
“I’m playing dolls.” The boy says and hands Ezra a Barbie doll and a stuffed animal that looks like a whale, but also a bit like a squid. “They’re friends, they go to space together on rockets Momma builds.”
“I can see that. And what do those two right there do?”
“They’re space ninjas, they have laser swords, this one is Daddy, but this one can be you.”
Jacen takes the other two dolls from him and gives him a cat in a karate robe instead.
Ezra laughs, “Okay!”
They play together long into the afternoon, and Ezra has to admit it was very fun and by the end of it Jacen adores him.
Not even a day later, a new picture went up on the wall of shelves and when Ezra notices it, he bursts into tears. Kanan comes running, “Ezra? What’s wrong?”
Ezra points to the picture and sobs.
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t ask first, is it okay? Do you want me to take it down?”
“No! No! Of course not.” He slams into Kanan for a hug, “Thank you.”
“Of course, Ezra.”
As the moments accumulate, so do the pictures, soon the wall of shelves is filled with picture frames.
One day a year later, he finally realized he found the place where he fit.
“Ezra, can you come in here for a second?” Kanan peeks his head out of Hera’s office and into the living room. Ezra perks up and moves his little brother off his lap.
“Ez! We’re watching Nemo!” Jacen pouts.
“Sorry little dude, I have to go see what Kanan wants. I’ll be back in a second. We can watch Finding Nemo again tomorrow if you want.” Ezra promises and Jacen frowns but nods.
Ezra turns to see Kanan looking on with a smile as he moves out of the doorway to let him in. Hera was sitting in her desk chair holding up a folder and Ezra felt his heart drop into his stomach. It had been over a year, and they were finally getting rid of him. Those papers were probably transfer papers or his personal papers or…or…or— something. Just when he thought he’d finally found a place to belong, it was coming to an end.
Hera stood and came to stand next to Kanan and wordlessly handed him the folder. He didn’t meet her eyes and his hands shook as he opened it up and scanned the documents inside. But…it hadn’t been what he was expecting.
“A—adoption…papers?”
Hera and Kanan both smiled, and Ezra glanced up at them. “Yes, if you want to. It’s your choice, but we think of you as our son, we think of you as family, and we want to put that on record if you want to.”
Ezra’s eyes welled up with tears and then poured down his face. “Are—are you serious?”
“Extremely.” Hera smiles.
“Really?”
“Absolutely, kiddo. We talked it over and honestly it wasn’t a very long discussion, we’ve been wanting to bring this up with you for a while now.”
“And…you’re sure about me? Because you know I’m nothing but problems.”
“Aren’t we all, Ezra? And yes, we’ve been sure from the moment you came to stay with us.” Hera says.
Ezra nods, slowly at first and thin quickly, sobbing gently and falling into their shared embrace. “Thank you.” He squeaks.
Kanan kisses the top of his head and Hera rests a hand on the back of his head and lets him sob into her shoulder. “Thank you for being in our lives, Ezra.”
He cries for a whole ten minutes and not once do Kanan or Hera try to pull away. At some point he heard the door creak open and felt Jacen hug his legs. Eventually he does pull away and wipe his tears roughly off his face.
“I would be happy to be your son.” He says and his parents beam widely.