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Eddie doesn’t even think about throwing on the olive-colored jacket before he heads out the door to Bobby and Athena’s housewarming party. It was on his floor and it went with his outfit, so why not? He doesn’t think about it as he parks his car, walks through the doors holding the tamales he made, and sets it down in front of everyone. He ignores the raised eyebrow from Hen and the glace Maddie and Chimney. But, he makes sure to look up where Buck is standing next to Tommy, who looks the perfect amount of peeved at the sight in front of him.
“What? Is there something on my shirt?” Eddie looks down, sees nothing, then looks back up to see Buck refusing to make eye contact with him. Tommy is gripping the beer can just a little too hard that Eddie can hear it snap in with the pressure. Eddie pretends not to know what they’re reacting to and shrugs his shoulders as he goes outside to where he knows Bobby is cooking on the grill.
He’s smirking the whole walk there with Buck’s jacket covering him.
-
Eddie doesn’t know why it starts at first, but he remembers when it happened. It was Thursday, September 26, and Eddie’s favorite show had started back up. He was watching it on the couch getting ready to open a bag of sour cream and onion chips when he was interrupted.
Someone had knocked loudly on the door, and Eddie was surprised to see Buck on the other end when he pulled it open. He looked determined as he opened the door, and Eddie was opening his mouth getting ready to ask why when Buck started moving. He hadn’t even said anything as he stepped into Eddie’s space, grabbed his face between his hands, and pulled him into a searing kiss. Eddie didn’t have time to think about what was happening when Buck pushed him backward into the house, slammed the door shut with his foot, and kept kissing him.
All Eddie could concentrate on was the feeling of Buck’s lips against his, and the sliding of them together. Eddie was glad that he hadn’t started eating the chips yet and welcomed Buck’s tongue in his mouth. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed when they pulled back panting into each other’s mouths. He’s tried to form a thought so he can ask Buck questions (What happened? Are you okay? Why are you kissing me?), but he couldn’t.
He also couldn’t risk not getting more of whatever this was if he started to question it. The way Buck’s stubble felt against him, and the chapped lips of his against him. He needed more. So, instead of questioning everything, he pulled back, took his shirt off, and stood in front of Buck offering himself. Buck had smiled brightly at him and then grabbed him by his hips as he pushed him into the living room. They collapsed onto the couch together, with Eddie pulling Buck over him so he could feel him all over.
His hands were burning his skin as he touched him everywhere, and Eddie doesn’t remember making out ever feeling this good. The way Buck’s rough calluses scratched against his sides, his fingers brushing over his nipples, and the grind of his pelvis against his aching boner. Everything was too much and not enough at the same time. He grabbed onto the back of Buck’s shirt and moved it up his body to feel him against his. Buck had never looked hotter when he leaned up and slid his shirt off while straddling him.
It was incredible, the way Buck had slid down onto his knees, and then slid right back up after he had swallowed him down, just to grind down onto Eddie until he came on him. Everything was moving too fast for Eddie to wrap his mind around, but he was trying to enjoy the moment. The way Buck had held him down as he thrusted up into his mouth, and had to grip onto Buck’s hair trying to ground himself. Had to fight to keep his eyes open to keep his sights on Buck. Held him against his body, scratched down his back, and kept whispering Buck’s name in his ear to let him know how much it was affecting him as he ground down onto him. It was something Eddie had never expected, and now that it happened, he doesn’t know what he’d do if that was the only time he got to experience that.
“Wow,” Eddie had breathed out. It was the first time someone had spoken words that weren’t reactions to what they were doing on the couch. Well, it was still a reaction, but it was after Buck had collapsed onto him and they were both catching their breaths.
“Yeah,” Buck looked up into his eyes. Both of them started laughing, and Eddie couldn’t stop himself from holding onto Buck to keep him exactly where he was.
-
That’s when it started, and it’s a couple of days after that Eddie is informed of why it happened. It’s the first time Buck and Tommy break up.
He’s on shift and they’re all eating at the table upstairs. Buck’s phone keeps buzzing, and he’s visibly getting frustrated each time it lights up on the table. Everyone is trying to ignore it, but Eddie can see Chimney start to get frustrated. Every three seconds, a new text comes in, and the noise is quite annoying.
“Buck, I will throw your phone over the balcony,” Chimney smiles as he takes a bite of garlic bread. Buck looks up startled, like he wasn’t expecting anyone else to notice the constant noise. He sighs as he picks up his phone and puts it in his pocket, probably still buzzing incessantly against him. No one asks questions, until Buck says, “What? No one is going to ask if something is wrong?”
Hen looks around, catches Eddie’s eye, and he shrugs in response. Buck hadn’t said anything to him, they hadn’t talked all that much after Buck had stayed the night four days ago. Truthfully, there wasn’t much talking, because one round went into two, then three, and Buck was gone before breakfast. Then, Eddie had picked up an extra shift on the weekend, so he didn’t have time to talk to him. It was also because he was avoiding him. He didn’t particularly know how to start a conversation with him that didn’t start with, “Are we going to do that again? I think I would like to.” So, he hadn’t talked to him.
“Okay, I’ll bite. Did something happen, Buck?” Hen asks as she puts her fork down.
“Me and Tommy broke up,” he says, and no one reacts. He looks around waiting for a reaction, and Eddie would have probably given him one if he wasn’t so shocked. He just stayed completely neutral as every single thought started spiraling in his mind.
To be quite honest, Eddie had forgotten about Tommy. He hadn’t thought about him at all when Buck showed up at his door, and maybe he should’ve. Is that why Buck came over? To get comfort after his breakup? Why the hell would he kiss Eddie? Was he some sort of rebound?
He thinks it should make him feel like shit, but it doesn’t. Eddie feels fucking good. Buck had come to him after the break-up and took comfort in him . He straightens his shoulders just a bit and has to shove a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth to hide his shit-eating grin.
-
They don’t ever talk about it, but that doesn’t mean it stops happening. Buck and Tommy break up a lot. They’re on and off all the time, and when they’re off, Buck doesn’t leave his side. He’ll show up at his house with this look on his face, and Eddie starts to recognize it. His, ‘Single for the time being. Should we?’ and Eddie thinks ‘We should.’ every single time, and pulls Buck into him.
It starts to become a habit at this point. Eddie also starts to get excited about it. Buck will text him a sad face, and Eddie will ask why, every time hoping he’s going to say he and Tommy are fighting. He replies, “That sucks. You okay?” when it happens, but starts to root for them to break up each time. Eddie just starts waiting for him. He’ll pass the time by cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or simply waiting for him on the couch when he hears the key turn in the lock. He tries not to look too excited when he comes in because Buck is freshly broken up with each time.
Eddie starts to learn things about Buck he didn’t know he’d ever have the privilege to. He knows what his favorite brand of condoms is, how he reacts when someone scratches down his back moaning his name, and the way his eyebrows furrow when he pushes into Eddie. Not only that, but he starts to learn who Buck is as a partner in the romantic sense, not just physically. He’ll show up with Eddie’s favorite takeout place when he shows up sometimes, refolds his laundry when he sees it just a little bit off, and makes sure to get him a glass of water before they go to bed because Eddie always is thirsty before he sleeps. He also starts to make himself more at home, and Eddie was naive to think he already was when they weren’t fucking. He leaves his clothes in Eddie’s laundry basket, his protein drinks in the fridge, and his favorite TV shows start making their way into Eddie’s “Recently Watched” section. Christopher loves it, and Eddie is thankful he doesn’t question it because he doesn’t know how he’d explain this to his kid. No one else questions it either, but there are more looks toward him from Hen and Chimney when they start arriving at work together more often.
Eddie starts to feel comfortable, and then he is humbled when he gets told that Buck isn’t always his. Buck will always make sure to tell him when he and Tommy are back together, and suddenly the proteins shake just sit in his fridge, the laundry is just his, and new episodes of Buck’s TV shows start piling up unwatched.
It hurts the first couple of times, but then Eddie starts to deal with it. He just becomes smug about it, that Buck always chooses him after they break up, and Tommy is the one always initiating their getting back together. He doesn’t remember the last time Buck had been the one doing that, and Eddie starts telling himself that it’s because he never does. He tells himself Buck doesn’t know how to say ‘No’ when Tommy asks and feels like he has to say yes, but never really wants to.
Eddie thinks it’s probably a little unhealthy to think that way, but he truthfully doesn’t care.
-
He starts to show a little more about what he and Buck are doing without explicitly saying what he and Buck are doing. Sometimes, he’ll bring Buck’s work hoodie that he left at his house, purposefully when they all go out to drink. If he’s lucky, sometimes Tommy will be there, and Eddie knows he tries to ignore it. He always makes sure to look at his face when he does it and can start to see him cracking the more time it happens with different articles of clothing. Or, when he brings Buck’s Sensodyne toothpaste he left at his house, and Tommy’s jaw clenches.
He’s smug about it. Starts showing Tommy that no matter how hard he tries, Buck is always going to be attached to Eddie in some way.
It’s probably the fifteenth time Eddie has done it when Tommy finally brings it up, and Eddie feels excitement bubble in his chest at the interaction he’s been waiting for.
“I’m not into sharing,” Tommy comes over to him in the bar. Eddie turns around from where he’s waiting for everyone’s round and looks around. It’s not exactly how he pictured the conversation going, but he can work with it.
“Are you talking to me?” Eddie plays dumb. Tommy looks over at him with a blank stare, and Eddie just smiles innocently at him. “As far as I know, we’re not sharing anything. But, I’d be open to sharing this tab.”
He looks back towards the bartender and still sees he has three more drinks to go, which means he’s got plenty of time to get into this.
“You know me and Buck are dating, right?” Tommy leans closer to him like he’s trying to get a good look into his eyes as if he’s making some sort of statement. Eddie lets him and smiles at him as he finishes his sentence.
“Not all the time though, right?” Eddie throws back and Tommy leans back. “He makes it very clear when you aren’t.” Eddie grabs the drinks the bartender has sat in front of him. He slides the one he got for Tommy in his direction, but makes sure to keep his hands grasped on the Dirty Shirley Buck has ordered.
“Can’t share who isn’t yours in the first place,” Eddie makes sure to add before he walks back to where the team is, and doesn’t look back to see if Tommy is following behind him. He takes one of the open spots next to Buck and places the drink in front of him. If he notices Buck inching closer to him instead of Tommy when he takes the other space on his side, he doesn’t mention it. But, Tommy does forget his drink when it’s his turn to pick up the tab, and Eddie thinks that might be because he noticed it.
-
“Did Tommy say something to you, at the bar?” Buck asks him two days later when they’re in bed. Eddie moves so he’s laying on his side and looking at Buck who’s on his back staring at the ceiling.
“He did,” Eddie isn’t going to lie to Buck, he would know if he did anyway. Buck hums in acknowledgment, and then silence fills the room. He moves his hand so he can reach Buck. Starts tracing his arm just ever so lightly, and feels Buck move into the slight touch. He waits for Buck to say something else, knowing the conversation isn’t over.
Eventually, Buck turns over so he’s also lying on his side and is facing Eddie.
“Do you think we’re good together?” Buck asks. Eddie is admittedly surprised. He didn’t think this was where the conversation was going to end up.
“You and Tommy?” Eddie clarifies even though he knows that’s who Buck means. He’s trying to avoid this as long as he can. Buck nods and scooches closer towards him. He moves his leg closer into Eddie’s space so they’re touching.
“No,” Eddie answers honestly. Buck doesn’t look surprised at the answer, he doesn’t show any emotion really. They don’t talk after that, but Eddie wants to add so much more. He wants to tell Buck that he thinks they would be really good together, they have been really good together. He doesn’t have to keep going back to Tommy because that’s all he thinks he can get. After all, Eddie is ready and willing to give him everything. He’s practically already there. Buck has a key to his house, his name permanently in his will, and the family recipes from his abuela, and all that’s left is putting a label on it.
He moves himself closer to Buck and presses their lips together in a kiss he hopes conveys something. It doesn’t seem right to pour his heart out right now when Buck is seemingly struggling with his own emotional turmoil. So, he doesn’t let it get further than that, just pulls back and moves so they both can get comfortable to sleep.
Buck and Tommy get back together a week later and it hurts Eddie more than it usually does.
-
“Hey Cap,” Eddie takes a spot on the side of him, just a couple feet from where the grill is.
“New jacket, Eddie?” Bobby clocks it quickly, and Eddie thinks he may be the first one to question anything about this new development between him and Buck. Everyone ignores it, probably because they don’t want to get into the middle of it. It makes sense that Bobby isn’t going to do that.
“You could say that,” Eddie doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t need to, obviously Bobby knows. He looks up at him as he’s flipping a burger and shoots him his classic all-knowing Bobby smile. He holds the platter out for the hotdogs that are ready for the kids and wishes Christopher was here, he knows he loves these. He’ll have to bring home leftovers for him, he knows he’s going to be hungry after getting back from the camping trip with his friends. He probably had tons of fire-pit hotdogs there, but they’d never beat Bobby’s.
“Have you two talked about it?” Bobby asks as he places the last hotdog on the tray, and Eddie is lucky he’s holding onto it with two hands. He thought maybe Bobby would just move on from it, but how silly of him to think that.
“Don’t know what we would talk about,” Eddie replies. He’s scared of what would happen if they talked about it, maybe afraid Buck would stop what they’re doing if Eddie brought it up, and he can’t lose whatever it is that they’re doing. He knows the opposite could happen, where he gets more, gets all of it, and the risk would probably be worth it. But, the last time they had briefly talked about it, Buck got back with Tommy quicker than he normally did. He doesn’t want to risk pushing it in case it pushes Buck away.
Bobby can’t get further in the conversation because everyone starts to make their way outside to grab the burgers and hotdogs that are now done. He makes sure to shoot Eddie a look that he knows means he wants to say more, and he takes note of it so he can avoid Bobby for the rest of the day. Which will kind of be hard at his own housewarming party, but he’s going to try his hardest.
He takes the seat that’s open next to Buck, but he can tell it’s awkwarder than it should be, and Eddie would take off the jacket if there wasn’t a breeze in the wind. He thinks maybe this was a bad idea, maybe he should’ve kept this to themselves. But, he doesn’t want to keep it to himself, and that’s where the lines are starting to blur. He doesn’t want Buck to take his jacket back, he wants to keep restocking the fridge with Buck’s favorite foods, and he wants to keep learning things about Buck when he lets himself in the house.
He makes conversation with Maddie and Karen rather than his usual conversation with Buck. Buck is quieter than usual, and he keeps making glances toward Eddie. Eddie tries to keep the conversations around him going so he can ignore the jittering of Buck’s leg. He’s shaking it up and down under the table, and Eddie has to hold his hand back. Wants to put it above his knee, a soothing feeling to know he’s there, but Tommy is right on the other side of him right now, and that means Buck isn’t his to touch right now. But, Tommy isn’t doing anything, he’s completely oblivious to Buck’s legging that’s shaking the table just ever so slightly, and Eddie has to lean over and whisper in Buck’s ear, “You okay?”
Buck must get whiplash from his fast he turns his neck towards Eddie, but he’s nodding before it even seems like he’s registering the question. He furrows his eyebrows and gets up to pretend to grab another drink, and he knows Buck is going to follow him. He always does. This is proven correct when he goes down the hall where Athena said the bathroom was, and he hears Buck’s footsteps following him. He goes into it, but leaves the door open, and peaks his head out to let Buck know he’s supposed to come in.
“What’s wrong?” Eddie shuts the door behind them, and Buck is just staring at him.
“You’re wearing my jacket,” Eddie looks down, and he thought Buck already knew this, is he asking him?
“Yeah, you left it at mine. Do you want it back?” He’s getting ready to take it off to give back to him, but before he can, Buck is leaving the bathroom. He pushes past him, running his fingers through his hair, and mumbling something under his breath. Eddie is standing there, jacket half off him, and his stomach plummeting to the floor.
When he walks back out, both Tommy and Buck are already gone. Bobby is looking over at him when he takes his seat, and he groans when everyone else looks over at him too.
“I don’t want to hear it!” He shouts into his hands.
-
Eddie has been patiently waiting for the next break-up. Well, not so patiently. He’d been waiting for any clue from Buck that he and Tommy were on the outs again, but he hadn’t gotten anything. Nothing had happened at the housewarming party, it didn’t garner the reaction Eddie had been hopeful for. Which, is his fault. It was unrealistic to think Buck would break up with his boyfriend as soon as Eddie walked in wearing his jacket.
He doesn’t get a text though, he gets a call.
“Hey, Buck. Everything okay?” He’s trying not to sound eager. He and Buck call all the time, it’s not just when he breaks up with his boyfriend. Even when they’re not fucking, they’re still best friends. Even when they are fucking they’re best friends. But, he’s just itching to get a feel from him. Normally after Eddie pulls a stunt like that, it’s fairly fast that he and Tommy get into a fight.
“What? Yeah, everything is fine, I just have a quick question for you,” Buck sounds a bit apprehensive asking this, and Eddie is inching up on his couch waiting for whatever is going to come out of his mouth. “Do you still have my jacket?”
Eddie is confused, his face shows it, and he’s happy that Buck isn’t asking him in person so he doesn’t have to see it, “Uh, yeah. Why?”
“I’m on my way right now, just, can you be wearing it when I get there?” Eddie is already off the couch before he finishes his sentence, and he’s looking around for it. He knows he just saw it.
“Yeah, yeah. The door is unlocked, just come in when you get here.” Eddie hangs up on him and looks everywhere for the jacket. He finally finds it in his bathroom behind the door and quickly removes all his clothes before putting it on, he’s leaving the bathroom when Buck walks into his bedroom.
Eddie feels like the energy is different this time. Buck is standing there breathing just a little heavier than normal like he jogged in from the driveway, and he’s gripping his house key in his hand that there must be indents forming on his palm.
“I broke up with him,” Buck blurts out, and Eddie is standing there with his ass out with the olive jacket on his shoulders, and he doesn’t know how he should take this.
“That’s normally how this goes,” Eddie states. He wishes he kept his underwear on.
“No, like,” Buck sounds exasperated, like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, “I broke up with him!” He repeats it, and Eddie doesn’t know exactly what he’s supposed to be getting from this. “It’s normally mutual. We fight, we break up, but I broke up with him.”
Eddie feels his eyes widen just a little bit, and his shoulders straighten. Buck broke up with Tommy and then came over. But, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, because this has been the routine for months.
“I need it spelled out, Buck, I can’t just assume what I want to be true,” Eddie is toying with the zipper of the jacket, nervous for what the answer is going to be, yet eagerly awaiting it.
“Tommy wears my clothes all the time, and it annoys me. I don’t want to be looking for a jacket and look up to see he’s wearing it. But, you,” Buck pauses, “I had been looking for that jacket before I left. I was pissed because I thought Tommy was lying when he said he didn’t have it. Then you showed up wearing it, and I wasn’t pissed at all.” Buck finishes. Eddie feels his chest loosen, and his nerves are starting to leave.
“I’ve been so fucking stupid,” Buck takes a step forward, puts his hands on Eddie’s jacket-covered shoulders, and slides them down until they’re gripping hands.
“Yeah, but I’ll let it slide,” Eddie shrugs. Buck’s smiling is blinding, and Eddie doesn’t even care his dick is out right now during this moment. He pulls Buck in and presses their lips together. Buck is moving his hands to grip the lapels of the jacket and pulls him towards the bed.