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Nahida stepped into the stream's warm shallows, shifting her feet around on the muddy ground beneath them. The way her toes agitated the dirt caused it to be washed away by the current, and she fascinated herself with the sensation of the "vanishing" dirt against her skin.
Her ward denied her offer that he join her, uninterested in "splashing his feet in the water like a child", and sat upon a shady root instead. When she looked back at Wanderer over her shoulder, he kept his eyes closed, but she could tell that he was paying close attention, as if she were a treasure that needed guarding. He reminded her of a mother hen, and the way he shooed off children when he caught them acting recklessly only solidified that image in her mind.
She shuffled further in, feeling along the textures of the bank - the pebbles, the bits of shell, the acorns fallen astray - until the water reached up her knees and the hem of her dress skimmed the surface. The garment drank greedily from the stream, and so water crept further up along than even made contact with the water. When she crossed into shadows, the temperature abrupty dropped, and she marveled at the swiftness of it, testing it multiple times.
Beneath the glittering face of the flowing water was the underwater world with sparkling clarity. Nahida scanned it, always eager to watch and soak in all the experiences that she could, especially those held beneath a sky far bluer than her dreams and a sun so warm that it had her wrapped in a cozy blanket.
And yet on this beautiful day, her heart ached - something was missing, and she didn't yet understand why. It was like a throbbing memory of how she had felt while locked away by the sages. Yet here she was, breathing in the outside air with her own lungs, and delighting in these sights - these sensations - with her own senses, free now. And still her own emotions remained baffling to her.
She caught sight of a fish, darting between the flora, and she gasped with interest. She turned back to Wanderer, wanting to share this delightful occurance with him.
But it was not her own voice that called out "Hat Guy! What a coincidence running into you here."
Nahida's voicc died; she watched several Akademiya students approach Wanderer. Their tones held surprise and delight at crossing paths with him, and apparently they had plenty and more to share with him. One of the gaggle began tearing through her bag, searching for a manuscript she'd begun that she wanted his advice on. And though Wanderer made a face, he did not attempt to escape nor send them away.
A lonely smile crept onto her face. Oh, how glad she was to see him interacting with humans in this way, and in the Akademiya they could even be called his peers. A little germinated seed, he was, now beginning to sprout at last. Her nourishment paid off. And so she said nothing, wading back onto the shore, wiping her wet feet upon the grass so that dirt wouldn't stick to her soles.
One of them noticed her and immediately flustered. "Oh! Dendro Archon!" he drew attention to her presence, and the entire group fell silent aside from their anxious greetings, bowing, in part starstruck by yet intimidated from her.
"I'm sorry that I didn't see you there!"
Unlike with Wanderer, they glanced nervously among each other, all wringing hands and strict formality. They wouldn't be able to relax in her presence, no matter how much Nahida insisted that they could act as normal around her. Such comfort couldn't be demanded by one's Archon, she knew that well.
"There's no need, please be at ease," she said, and as expected the tension that held their bodies taught and voices all but silenced did not abate. Internally, she sighed regretfully; she did not want to ruin this moment for her ward. "I was already heading back. Please enjoy your conversation - it sounds truly delightful!"
She received their farewells and avoided Wanderer's gaze, then took her leave, returning to the Sanctuary of Surasthana alone. Her chest now hurt terrible, though there was nothing wrong with it physically, and once she was out of sight of all, she spread her palm against it with a miserable frown.
Something that she loved about the Akademiya was the sheer breadth of knowledge among so many minds of so many perspectives. Yet because of her status, she could do naught but interact with them indirectly, often without their knowledge. She thought the distressing feelings that it stirred was the guilt of poking into their minds, but it wasn't only that.
Just like they treated Wanderer, she wished that someone would treat her so normally as well. Wanderer did himself; he disregarded her status and spoke with her as harshly or as softly as with anyone else, but even with him there was a dynamic that made it feel impossible to get truly close. He still considered himself a prisoner of hers, after all, and in many ways that wasn't untrue. They couldn't be friends on equal footing.
Yet as he made new friends and formed bonds with a greater number of people, Nahida felt the distance between them widen into a gulf. What he was earning for himself - what she was happy to facilitate and wanted for him as well - she just wished that she could have as well.
She disliked the raw, acidic envy that bubbled inside of her. So rather than tend to its growth, Nahida decided instead to tend to her dreams.
*
Her dreamscape was vibrant. Colors realer than real, they would hurt her physical eyes to look at. A lush green meadow flooded her vision, and the sky took on the precise shade of blue that she experienced that day. She held a hand up to the sun, but it neither blinded her nor did her hand cast a shadow over her face. She remedied that, and brought to life the wash of warmth of its light upon her skin.
The more of the world she understood, the more realistic these dreams could be. In humans, such a thing would be called "lucid dreaming", but for Nahida, the amount of control she exacted over her dreams seemed something else entirely. By taking what she learned and applying it in her dreams, then puzzling how the errors that her imagination brought forth, she could reason further knowledge that made her dream all the more fun, even when they did not follow reality. And oh did Nahida enjoy flaunting the rules of reality.
Birds took off from a tree in the distance. She held out her arm, bringing one to land upon it. Its weight was off, too light, as if it wasn't even there, and she couldn't imagine how it would feel to have a bird's talons gripping her arm. She scritched the top of its head with her finger - it had a silky touch that she wasn't sure was correct. Wanderer seemed a magnet for such adorable little creatures; she might ask for his assistance sometime later.
Nahida sighed, and let the bird take off to join the others across the sky. As she learned more about the outside world, the animals became more realistic, and more fun to watch.
She could fill her dreams with almost whatever she wished, but could not fill the loneliness in her heart. Without the Akasha system, she could not reach out to the minds and dreams of her people, and could only walk among them, with their various levels of anxiety around their god.
Lesser Lord Kusanali.
She heard a voice but not in her dream. Nahida frowned. She wished to shrug it off and remain in this place a little while longer. But someone was calling for her attention, and duty would not allow her to stay.
Nahida's consciousness reemerged. Her eyes fluttered open, and Wanderer was at her side, his near-permanent frown taking on a tinge of concern, though she may only be projecting what she wished to perceive on his face.
"Dreaming again, huh? It's the middle of the day."
"Ah, right, well, I just thought that while you were talking to your friends, I'd meditate a bit."
"They aren't my friends."
Nahida's smile was wry. Not friends, but he didn't begrudge their presence, otherwise he would have accompanied her back to the Sanctuary.
He shook his head. "They're not. Anyway, don't you have your toybox? Instead of spending your whole time wrapped up in fantasies, why not do something practical."
Nahida could only sigh. "There's no one to play the games I made with me." And it only reminded her of how she yearned for companionship, especially as Wanderer's own world expanded while hers remained the same in his ever-crowded orbit.
"What are you talking about?" He gave her a look as if she had told him of a shroomboar with wings. "I'm right here, aren't I? If you need someone to play with, just ask me. It's not like I have anything better to do, anyway."
She stared up at him, blinking as she examined the face he made, the slight pout that he tried to hide. Was he upset that she implied he wouldn't play the games with her? She giggled. It lightened the heaviness in her heart just a little to see his earnestness towards her.
In another life, perhaps they could have been real friends, rather than prisoner and warden, Archon and the former Fatui Harbinger who sought to become a god in her place.
"You're very kind," she told him, to which he scoffed.
"Just be quiet." He tossed his head, and started in a huff towards Nahida's room. "Hurry up and get your games out, already."