Work Text:
(one)
It was cold.
Joel wrapped his tattered blanket around him as tightly as he could, but it did little to fight off the chill, what with the roof of his house blummin' gone . What he’d done to deserve that, he didn’t fucking know - it’d burned down in a manner of seconds , his attic bedroom now all charred as well. Not even an actual bed remained to rest his head, so he instead had to curl up on the tiny bit of wooden floor that still remained, with whatever bit of blanket he’d managed to salvage before absolutely everything had gone up in flames.
It was just his luck, really. Wake up in some random death game with no idea of how he’d gotten there or what he was supposed to do, be, like, the only person to not manage to make any blummin’ friends, and then have the one nice thing, his beautiful house that he’d crafted by hand so meticulously, completely burn down.
He hadn't even figured out who'd done it, so though he had plenty of ideas brewing in his head of exactly how to enact his revenge, it was no use - all he could do that night was wallow in self pity, under a shitty blanket and not even a nice view of the sky, what should've been a million shimmering stars covered over by dark clouds. He swore to all the gods that if a goddamn storm started-
"Joel?" a voice called from down below, and Joel grumbled, tugging his blanket even tighter around him and squeezing his eyes shut, pretending that he couldn't hear. The last thing he wanted in that moment was someone coming to mock him.
"Joel!" the voice called again, with more force. " Joel !"
Groaning, Joel rolled over onto his back, rubbing his eyes. "Go away!" he yelled, his voice coming out a little hoarse.
Whoever it was did not go away. Rather, they began to climb up the wreckage of his house and into what remained of the attack space, looking down at Joel with concern. "Are you alright?"
It was Scott, who… wasn't the worst person he could've encountered, he supposed. One of the few people in the game that he'd known in his life before, an old friend turned enemy turned shaky alliance.
Still, Joel couldn't help but be annoyed at his presence. "I was fine until you came along and woke me up, for gods' sake-"
Scott blinked. "Honestly, I thought you wouldn't be able to sleep like this-"
Joel rolled his eyes, huffing. "Would you leave me alone?"
"I just-"
"Like, seriously , what are you even doing here? It's the middle of the night, Scott. Go back to your cosy little house with your oh so perfect ally and-"
"Actually," Scott interrupted, "I was going to see if you wanted to join us for the night."
For a moment, Joel wasn't sure how to respond, at first staring at Scott with shock which steadily transitioned to suspicion. “…what?"
Scott shrugged. "I just- I figured it can't be, uh, comfortable , like this. There's plenty of space down in our place. It doesn't have to be, like, permanent , just- just for tonight, or until your house is repaired or whatever."
Joel narrowed his eyes, still not trusting this in the slightest. "Why?" Sure, it was… sweet, he supposed, but this was a death game . He couldn't go around just trusting anyone like that. Especially when there was nothing to say it hadn't been Scott himself who'd started the fire.
"I'm not trying to trick you or anything," Scott promised, which again just made Joel roll his eyes.
" Exactly what someone who was trying to trick me would say."
"Look, it's just an offer, okay?" Scott said, starting to back away. "It's fine if you say no. But-" He hummed. "If it makes you feel any better, it was Jimmy's idea-"
"That does not make me feel better!" Joel exclaimed, mouth falling wide open. "He's red , Scott!"
"I know, I know! Just- I mean, I also know that you two have been friends since forever , so…"
He hated the fact that Scott wasn't wrong. Of all the people in this game, unfortunately it was probably Jimmy he trusted the most. And- And if Jimmy trusted Scott , then Joel supposed he could as well.
"…fine," he decided, beginning to stand up. "Just for tonight, though. Don't think this means I'm joining your stupid alliance."
Though he initially seemed surprised, Scott grinned. "Oh, nice! Just, uh- follow me, then?"
The two climbed back down the wreckage of the house and made their way through the forest between their two bases, a sword in Joel's hand and a bow in Scott's to ward off any rogue mob lurking between the trees this late at night - though, thankfully, the pathway over towards Scott's place was fairly well lit, torches pinned up on trunks or lanterns hanging from lower branches. They walked in relative silence, Joel still not quite trusting Scott with all of this, but… well, it would just be for one night. It'd be fine .
"I'd say you could go see if Jimmy would let you stay at his for the night," Scott said, as the two finally reached the gate to their little valley, "but, uh…"
"Yeah, no, I get it," Joel said. "Man's unstable, being red and all. Not sure I wanna let myself fall asleep around that . Far too vulnerable."
"Exactly, exactly," Scott said, nodding along and leading Joel over towards his side of the valley, opening the door for him and gesturing for Joel to enter.
Joel stepped inside, immediately feeling his shoulders slump at the warmth that ran over his skin. It was a cosy little place, a flame crackling in the fireplace along the back wall, a nice rug laid out across the wooden floor, a table pushed into one corner near a crafting table, furnace, and collection of chests, some painting hung up on the walls to give the place that extra pizazz, and a double bed pushed again the other wall, looking ever so inviting. It was a lot, considering they were in a death game and any day could be their last, most people weren't bothering with just lovely decorations, but Joel respected it.
"Nice place," he commented, nodding to himself. "Cosy."
Scott grinned. "Thank you! A lot of effort went into this little place, actually."
"I can tell." Joel hummed. "So, uh…" In complete honesty, he wasn't really sure where he was supposed to go from there.
Scott was silent for a moment, considering, before moving further into the room over towards his storage in the corner. "You can take the bed, if you want," he offered, briefly turning back to look at Joel before turning again to open a chest, starting to dig through it. "Since you're the guest and all."
Joel blinked. "Oh, no, no, I couldn't," he said, moving over to join Scott's side and peering down into the chest - a couple of blankets were buried at the bottom, rejects from when Scott had originally crafted his bed. "Don't worry about me, I've got no problems with roughing it out for the night. It's your bed."
Scott frowned. "I'd be an awful host if I made you sleep on the floor, though."
"Scott," Joel said, sighing, "we'll be trying to kill each other again tomorrow, and you're worried about being a good host?"
"I mean… I was also hoping this might solidify us as allies-"
"There's no such thing as allies here, Scott. Only one of us can make it out in the end, remember?"
Silence, for a long while, before Scott shoved the blankets back into the chest and closed it, turning again to lean against the chest, using it almost as a stool. He plastered on a grin, seemingly disregarding Joel's concerns. "We could share?"
Joel's eyes widened. "Sorry, we could what ?"
Scott shrugged. "It's not a big deal, y'know-"
"Aren't you married ?"
Scott snorted. "Jimmy won't mind. If anything, he’ll be more disappointed that he hasn’t been invited-”
“What do you mean ?”
“It doesn’t have to mean anything, anyway,” Scott said, moving away from the chests and over to the bed. He perched down on the edge of it, looking at Joel expectantly. “Think of it this way, it’s almost like we’re having a cute little sleepover, hm?”
Joel narrowed his eyes, then glanced over to the door. “Y’know what?” he said, taking half a step towards it. “I think I’d rather risk my chances at Jimmy’s.” At least if Jimmy killed him, Joel would be one step closer to being able to kill Scott over this conversation.
All Scott did was laugh, grabbed Joel’s hand, and dragged him over to the bed. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! We could tell each other secrets, talk about boys-”
“Talk about boys ?” Joel halted, pulling Scott to a stop with him.
Scott blinked, seemingly taken aback. “Yeah? Surely there’s someone in the game you have an eye on-”
“Scott,” Joel said, “I’m straight .”
Scott narrowed his eyes. “You are?”
“…yeah?” For some reason, when the word came out he didn’t sound so sure. “I think so. I…” Huh. “I, uh, guess I’ve never really thought about it.”
Scott hummed, letting go of Joel’s hand and sitting down on the bed. “I think you might be the only one, then.”
“Really?” Joel continued to stand, staring down at him, though a moment later glanced away, a frown settling on his face. “I mean, I assumed everyone else was… Uh, other than you, obviously, and- and I guess Jimmy- Yeah, no, he’s talked about being bi before, I knew that. And- I guess there’s Cleo as well, but- but I didn’t think anyone else was?”
“Have you not seen the way that Grian and Scar act? Or Bdubs and Etho? Or Ren and Martyn ?”
“…okay, fair point.” Huh . “Sure, fine, but- I’m not. As far as I’m aware. I…” Huh .
It was the truth, honestly, that he’d never really thought about it. Back home, before all of this, he had Lizzie, of course, and she was wonderful and he loved her to bits, and, like- he knew she was bisexual, obviously, they’d talked in length about that and their relationship had also been open for some years now, but… he supposed he’d just never really felt the need to explore more.
But now that he was thinking about it…
Well, it wasn’t as if Scott wasn’t attractive. He was a fine looking bloke, for sure, he’d always thought that Jimmy was lucky to have him. That Scott was luck to have Jimmy , for that matter. But…
No. No , there was no way. Surely he would’ve already known by now if he was - heck, Jimmy had come out as bisexual to him years ago, and he’d supposedly known for a whole lot longer. There was no way Joel wouldn’t have known until now.
Unless…
He sat down on the bed, staring down at the floor. “…yeah. I guess I’ve just never thought about it.”
Silence, for a long while. Ever so surely, Scott edged closer to him, carefully draping an arm over his shoulder. “Do you wanna try?”
Joel looked up, then over to Scott, meeting his eyes. “Try what?”
Scott shrugged. “Try thinking about it. Give me a kiss, see if it’s your thing.”
For one, wild moment, Joel actually considered it. Stared down at Scott’s lips, waiting to be pressed against his, weirdly inviting. Again, Scott wasn’t not attractive, and it had been a while since Joel had kissed someone, he couldn’t pretend like he didn’t miss it.
He just…
“I can’t.” Joel shook his head, breaking away from Scott’s grasp and going to lie down in the bed. “You’re great and all, really, but, uh- I mean, I, uh, really can’t do that to Jimmy-“
“He won’t mind-“
“I know,” Joel said, “I know he won’t.” He knew that Jimmy would probably love nothing more than to see his two favourite boys getting along. “But I just can’t, okay? Let’s just… Let’s just go to sleep.”
He closed his eyes, trying not to think about Scott besides him, laying down. Not upset, not annoyed. Almost… concerned.
“Alright,” Scott said, his voice low, barely above a whisper, “but the offer’s still there, if you ever wanna take it.”
“…okay. Sure. I’ll keep it in mind.” He’d keep it in mind.
He didn’t get much sleep that night, and soon enough the sun rose, and he left, trying his damn hardest to ignore what had just happened.
(two)
Laughter drifted into the air around them as Joel and Etho - his soulmate - stumbled back to the Relation, blood staining their clothes and bruises decorating their arms but a pleasant warmth still blossoming in their chests. It was a weird sort of feeling, having someone next to him to share a smile with, to fight besides, to have his back. Weird, but… good.
Incredible, actually. And this time, he could be certain that Etho wouldn’t be going anywhere, either. Not without dragging Joel down with him, anyway.
A pleasant breeze surrounded them and a full moon shone bright in the sky, a million glittering stars scattered around it. Joel found himself staring at Etho instead.
“I love you, y’know,” he said, without really thinking about it. Without considering the weight of the words, without considering the implications of what it meant, of how Etho would take it.
Etho paused on the steps up to the base, staring down at the wooden planks, his brows briefly furrowed, before he looked up at Joel. His eyes were crinkled, and Joel could tell he was still smiling beneath the mask, but there was just a hint of confusion in his gaze. “Uh… thank you?” A brief silence, and then a giggle. “That’s very forward of you, we’ve only been soulmates for a few days.”
Joel blinked, then his eyes widened, his own words finally hitting him. “Oh,” he said. “ Oh , I- I mean- I just-“
Etho just continued to laugh, as Joel's face steadily reddened.
“It’s- It’s probably just the soulbound talking, haha,” he said, a little sheepishly, as he continued his journey up the stairs, now doing his best to avoid Etho’s gaze. “Just, uh, never realized how cool you are, I guess-“
“You think I’m cool?” Etho teased, an eyebrow raised.
Joel groaned. “W-Well, yeah! Of course you bloody are, you’re Etho . But, like- ugh, I don’t know.” He let out a long, long sigh. “It’s just been nice having you around, I guess. I appreciate it. And weirdly, I’ve found that I care for you, which is an awful, awful feeling, but… I think I don’t mind it. Yeah.” He loved him.
Wasn’t that strange?
Etho still just laughed, and Joel rolled his eyes.
“Oh, shut up ,” he grumbled, continuing to head up the stairs. “Forget I said anything, alright? Let’s just- Let’s just get to bed.”
“Hey, hey, if it’s any consolation, I do care about you, too,” Etho said, running a little to catch up with Joel then walking alongside him. Fingers brushing against his, Joel doing everything in his might not to immediately twist his around the others, grab on and never let go.
It seemed, however, that Etho shared the same struggle, and was much weaker about it than Joel was, as soon enough, their fingers were interlocked, and there wasn’t much else that Joel could do but curl his fingers into Etho’s palm.
“Maybe that’s also just the soulbound talking, and, uh- probably wouldn’t say that I love you just yet, but-“
Joel sighed. “I get it, I get it.” Slowly, a smile crept into his face.
“I’m glad that I have you around, is what I’m trying to say, I think,” Etho said, to which Joel nodded.
“…yeah,” he breathed. “I’m glad I have you around as well.”
Silence for a moment, as the two reached the top of the stairs, the entrance to the Relation. Etho’s grip tightened around Joel’s hand, and he dragged his soulmate into the ship, down into the hold were Joel had spent all day setting up their bedroom.
Immediately, Etho paused, though his grip didn’t loosen even in the slightest. “You put our beds together?”
“Uh.” Joel’s eyes widened. He had.
He hadn’t even been thinking about it - he’d spent all morning setting up this room for them whilst Etho had been herding sheep or whatever, making a cute little rug for the floor and figuring out the perfect positions to hang a few lanterns so that the room had the most perfect cosy glow, and… yeah. Two beds pushed up against the very far wall, no gap at all between them.
“Sorry,” he said, pulling away from Etho’s hand and heading over to the beds. “I, uh- didn’t mean to, must, uh… yeah, must be the soulbound talking, again.” He let out a small, nervous chuckle, taking hold of one bed and starting to drag it to the side. “Didn’t mean to, ah, make you uncomfortable or anything-“
“Joel,” Etho said, with a small amount of force. He placed a firm hand over Joel’s, and gently pushed it so that the two beds touched once more, before interlocking their fingers back together and pulling Joel away. Holding his hand ever so tightly, ever so securely .
“…Etho?” Joel said, when Etho didn’t continue. There was a nervous edge to his voice, a tone that didn’t sound quite right coming out of Joel’s mouth, and yet a sound that made so much sense, that seemed to lock all the pieces into place. He looked up at Etho, met his eyes - the deepest brown and the brightest red, drawing Joel in ever closer - and a warmth washed over him, a comforting blanket draped around his shoulders. A crinkle at the edge of those eyes, a reassuring smile.
“It’s okay,” Etho assured him, guiding him down into one of the beds - the bed.
Their bed.
Huh.
Joel’s eyes followed Etho as he finally let go of his hand and moved further into the room. He shrugged off his jacket, undid the top few buttons on his shirt, then pulled off his shoes. Getting ready for bed. Right, right.
Once he managed to snap himself back into reality, Joel began to follow suit - tug off his shoes, untuck his shirt, get himself as comfortable as possible. Before he knew it, Etho was climbing into the bed, and Joel scrambled to do the same, quickly pulling himself under the blankets and turning onto his side to face Etho just in time as Etho turned to face him.
Joel stared back with wide eyes, not quite believing what he saw. He blinked once, twice, then his mouth fell wide open, words still failing to come back. All Etho did was stare back, his head slightly tilted to the side, curiosity in his gaze.
Once again, Joel’s cheeks reddened at the attention, at those eyes boring into him. That beautiful face staring directly at his. “You, uh-“ He cleared his throat, forcing himself to break eye contact and look away, but unable to stop himself from sneaking yet another glance, even if it felt sort of… wrong. “You aren’t wearing your mask?”
“…correct,” Etho said, very, very carefully, backing away a little from Joel. It took everything in Joel’s power not to reach out and tug him right back in, even closer than before. “It’s, uh… just not the most comfortable to sleep in, I guess. It’s not a problem, is it?”
“No, no, not at all!” Joel reassured him, though the nervous edge to his voice didn’t help much to convey that. “Just, um- I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without it on? Like… actually seen your face, and all.”
Etho blinked. “Oh. Oh. Right, of course, I-“ He reached down to the fabric hung loosely around his neck, about to pull it back up, but before he could Joel quickly reached out a hand, tugging his fingers away and pulling his hand down. Etho fell silent, staring into Joel’s eyes. Their hands still interconnected.
For a moment, Joel was silent as well, simply staring back. Face steadily growing redder and redder. “It’s, um-“ Briefly, his gaze flicked down to Etho’s lip, such a rare and beautiful sight, before he quickly tore it away again, clearing his throat. “It’s fine, really. Not a problem at all. Just… unexpected, I guess.”
Etho hummed in thought, then carefully unwound his fingers from Joel’s hand, pulling it away. Part of Joel couldn’t help but be a little disappointed, but that quickly faded away as he saw the softest smile spread across Etho’s face. “Is that… a good unexpected?”
Joel found himself smiling back. “It’s wonderful, Etho. You’re wonderful.” It had to be the soulbound talking. It had to be.
But maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Maybe there was a lot about himself that Joel was yet to learn.
And maybe he didn’t have to worry about that yet - maybe, he could just enjoy what he and Etho had.
Etho opened up his arms, inviting Joel closer, and Joel eagerly accepted, slotting himself between his soulmate’s arms. He brought his own around up around Etho’s back, snuggling in closer as he buried his head deep into Etho’s chest. A hand wandered up to his hair, gently twisting his strands around its fingers, and Joel let out a shuddering breath, all the tension from his body completely dissipating.
A pair of lips pressed against his forehead, and his entire world seemed to shift, sparks of electricity shooting across his skin. Blush again spread to his cheeks, his grip on the back of Etho’s shirt tightening.
“I love you too, by the way,” Etho murmured, deep voice sending tremors through Joel’s body.
Joel drew away slightly, looking up at Etho. His gaze fixated on those lips again. His heart hammered in chest, in perfect sync with Etho’s own.
But Etho’s eyes were closed, and… and Joel couldn’t help but still be afraid. He didn’t quite understand what Etho had done to him, why he was feeling like this - other than blaming it on the soulbound, of course, but… but part of him doubted that. He couldn’t help but think there was something more.
It was terrifying. Wonderful, yes, but terrifying.
He couldn’t ruin this night. He buried his head back into Etho’s chest, closed his eyes, and forced himself to sleep. His heart continued to flutter long into the night.
(three)
That last game had been a fluke.
Stupid, stupid soulbound, making him act like a complete and utter fool . Nope, the man he had been during that game had not been him, it’d been some silly imposter with some stupid obsession with Etho, and- and now that imposter had died and he was back in a new game, and everything was back to normal. With a fire in his heart and his best friends - just friends - besides him.
Although… he couldn’t remember Jimmy ever being this attractive before.
Weird thought. Awful thought. He shoved it to the very back of his mind, to the deepest, darkest corners, and instead drew his focus to wiring up this next batch of bombs, planning out in his head who he wanted to kill next.
(Likely whoever he stumbled upon first, obviously, but there was nothing wrong with keeping a wish list of sorts.)
Speaking of killing - where on Earth had Jimmy gotten to? If he was planning on going on a little murder spree, there was no way he wasn’t going to bring Jimmy along - void knows the poor lad needed a good few kills way more than Joel did.
Humming to himself, Joel pulled himself onto the ladder and made his descent down into their sky base, keeping an eye out for Jimmy as went. As he got closer to their little homes they’d made for themselves, Jimmy thankfully soon came into the view, perched just on the edge of potato pier, looking out across their now mostly destroyed bridge. Legs swinging off the side, thumbs twiddling anxiously in his lap, shoulders hunched over ever so slightly, beautifully golden hair almost shimmering in the sunset-
Another weird thought. Joel had to stop for a moment, take a deep breath and realign his thoughts, before continuing on his way down the ladder.
“Hey, babe!” Joel greeted as he reached the bottom of the ladder, hopping over to Jimmy's side and grinning down at him.
At first, Jimmy jumped, his shoulders hiking up an extra inch, though not even a second later he glanced up at Joel and all the tension in his body simply left, a smile spreading across his face. “Hey, babe,” he replied, scooting over a little and tapping the ground besides him. Joel happily accepted, taking a seat next to his fellow bad boy, his partner in crime, his best friend .
Just friends.
Even if they did call each other babe - why Joel had started that stupid bit, he wasn’t sure, and he certainly didn’t understand why it made his heart flutter to hear Jimmy utter those words. And even if Jimmy was more attracted than Joel remembered - seriously, had his face always looking like that, or was Joel’s mind tricking him somehow, making stuff up? And even if Joel had thought about kissing Jimmy once or twice, that- that didn’t mean…
It didn’t matter, they- they were just friends.
Jimmy smiled at him for a few moments longer, before looking away, back out across their mostly destroyed bridge, his lips turning down.
A frown settled on Joel’s face. “You alright, lad?” he asked, a twinge of concern to his tone.
Jimmy blinked, quickly glancing back up at him, before looking away again. “Y-Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
His frown deepened. “You don’t look fine.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Jimmy-“
“I’m fine, Joel.”
“Jim-“
“I’m fine .”
Silence, for what seemed like an eternity. Jimmy had turned to look at Joel again, his eyes wide. Scared.
Joel edged closer still, reached out for Jimmy’s hand, interlocking his fingers between those gripping ever so tightly to the edge of the platform. At the gentle, reassuring touch, Jimmy’s shoulders seemed to relax, and his gaze softened, then saddened. Eyes wandering again, avoiding contact with Joel’s. Like he was hiding something, or… or just scared to admit what Joel already knew.
Something was wrong. Something was obviously wrong. Joel knew his best friend, he knew when there was something bothering him. And if Jimmy thought that Joel had missed the way his eyes kept glancing down to the timer steadily ticking away on his wrist, then he was an absolute idiot for thinking so.
Letting out a long, deep sigh, Joel carefully tested Jimmy’s hand away from the platform, lacing their fingers together and squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Something’s bothering you,” he said, even if he already knew what that was. “Tell me what it is.”
“Joel-“
“ Tell me. ”
Silence, again, before Jimmy sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I just…” He paused, took in a deep breath, his grip tightening around Joel’s hand, fingernails digging slightly into his skin.
Joel didn’t mind. Rather, he edged even closer, bumping his shoulder against Jimmy’s. That, at the very least, did make Jimmy’s lips perk up into almost a half smile, before they very quickly fell down again. Joel began to gentle rub a thumb over the back of Jimmy’s hand, hoping that would help to ease… whatever was going on in his mind.
“Will you miss me?” Jimmy finally asked, after a long, long moment. His gaze was fixed on the timer on his wrist. Barely over an hour.
For a second, Joel could’ve sworn his heart stopped in his chest. A deep, aching feeling radiating through his veins, a horrid lump forming in his throat, tears threatening to spill from his eyes at the mere thought of losing Jimmy. Of not having his bad boy besides him, of not waking up to see that beautiful face, of never getting to kiss those damn lips-
He swallowed, looking away. Took a deep breath. Then turned back to Jimmy, plastering on the biggest grin. “What d’ya mean?”
Jimmy blinked. “I- You know exactly what I mean, Joel. It’s only a matter of time. Literally a matter of time-“
“You know I love you, Jim,” Joel interrupted, rather suddenly. He… wasn’t quite sure where it’d come from, to be perfectly honest, but it was true. He did.
“You… what?” Jimmy frowned.
“I love you,” Joel repeated, with more certainty. He gave Jimmy a soft smile. “You’re my best mate in the whole wide world, and if you think even for a second that I’m letting you die before I do-“
“Joel, you have so much more time than me, I don’t-“
“It’s not happening,” Joel promised. “Not on my watch, anyway.”
“But-“
“Nope!” Joel shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m here for you, alright? No one’s hurting you whilst I’m here.”
Silence, once again, for a long, long while.
Eventually, Jimmy sighed once more. Long and drawn out, and yet, with the smallest smile ghosting across his face. “…yeah?”
Joel sighed as well, more with relief. “Yeah.”
Jimmy pursed his lips together, then moved a little closer, pushing his leg up against the side of Joel’s. Joel hummed in thought, then opened up an arm, allowing Jimmy to slot himself into Joel’s side. He squeezed Jimmy’s shoulder, pulling him in tight. Keeping him safe, keeping his promise.
“I love you too,” Jimmy said, after a moment. “I always have. And… I appreciate it, I do.” When Joel didn’t immediately reply, his smile faded ever so slightly, his eyes crinkling a little with worry. “I- I mean- you’re my best friend too, obviously, I-“
Joel turned his body to face him, letting go just a little to grab each of his shoulders, forcing him to make eye contact. “It’s okay, Jim, I- I know what you mean.”
He ignored the part of himself that was disappointed that Jimmy didn’t mean it that other way. The part of himself that glanced down at Jimmy’s lips as they looked at one another, that made his mind swim with wild thoughts, that made a slight blush begin to spread to his cheeks.
He ignored the way that Jimmy’s eyes wandered down to Joel’s lips as well, the way that his body subconsciously moved closer, trying to close the gap.
The way that Joel did that same.
At the very last second, before their faces got too close, Joel pulled Jimmy into a tight hug, his head resting in the crook of Jimmy’s neck. He felt Jimmy stiffened, his sharp breath against his neck, but soon enough his friend leant into the hug, bringing up his own arms around Joel’s back. He was warm, and cosy, and safe in Joel’s embrace, and that was really all that mattered.
They stayed like that for a while. A long, long while. And even when Jimmy finally pulled away (because like hell was Joel going to), they still sat on the edge of the platform together, Joel’s arm wrapped around his shoulder, Jimmy lodged comfortably into Joel’s side.
Joel would’ve been quite content to stay like that forever.
But the timer continued to tick down, and the world continued to move around them.
“C’mon,” Joel said eventually, pulling away from Jimmy and going to stand up. “Let’s go get you a kill, ay?”
He offered out a hand to Jimmy.
Jimmy took it without question.
(plus one)
Joel had been doing an awful lot of thinking since the end of the last game, and…
…
“You alright?” Pearl asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Making him jump.
He blinked once, twice, then sighed. “Y-Yeah,” he said, looking off to the side, out across the server - it was a beautiful view from up here, after all. Wasn’t too difficult to pretend he was just distracted with the scenery. Especially considering why they were up there - Pearl had insisted that she go visit Gem for a little quality time , stating that it was absolute torture having to spend so many nights apart from her, and like hell was Joel going to let a fellow mounder waltz about in enemy territory like that all alone. Even if Gem was Pearl’s girlfriend, and they’d already agreed upon a truce for this exact scenario.
“…you sure?” Pearl asked again, an eyebrow quirked up.
Without really thinking, Joel nodded. “…yeah, I…” He frowned. “I…”
“It’s okay if you’re not, y’know,” Pearl reassured him. “If you need to talk about something…?”
“Really, Pearl, I-“
He was fine. He was fine. He…
Void.
He closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a deep breath. In truth, he’d been thinking. He’d been thinking a lot. And… he was starting to think his entire life up until that moment may have been a complete lie. That he may have missed- no, ignored so, so much. And that everything could’ve been so much better if he’d just listened to himself.
That by now, it was too fucking late.
Or maybe he was wrong! Maybe he was just- just thinking too much, maybe he’d misinterpreted absolutely everything, maybe he was making a big deal out of nothing , maybe…
Maybe he was about to make a massive fucking mistake.
(But maybe, just maybe , it was worth the risk.)
He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, a lump quickly forming in his throat. He couldn’t. He…
He was about to turn to continue on their way home, when Gem ran up to Pearl, grabbing her hand. “Hey,” she said, greeting her girlfriend with a soft smile.
Pearl froze for a second, seemingly conflicting between keeping her attention on Joel - who, quite honestly, probably needed it considering the mess he’d managed to get himself in - and turning it to her girlfriend, though, predictably, she quickly decided to turn to Gem. “Hey, Gem. Everything okay?”
“You forgot this,” Gem said, and at first Pearl frowned in confusion, before Gem pulled her in for a kiss.
That sight was more than enough for Joel to make up his mind.
“How did you know?” Joel asked, as soon as the two drew apart. Before he could convince himself otherwise.
Pearl blinked, turning back to face him with a confused flint in her eyes. “…know what?”
“That, uh…” He gestured vaguely towards Gem and Pearl, who looked at each other with a knowing glance. “Y’know.”
Gem hummed. “That we liked each other?”
“That you liked… girls.”
Silence for a moment, as the two shared yet another look, that only made Joel want to curl up in a hole and die.
“I, uh… I guess we just sorta did?” Pearl said, keeping her gaze fixed on her girlfriend. “I mean, it took a while to come to terms with it, for me at least, but I’ve always, like… found girls pretty and all that.” She paused for a moment, turning again to meet Joel’s eyes. “Why do you ask?”
“I-“ He stopped himself, sucked in a sharp breath. “N-No reason, just… curious.”
Neither seemed to believe him.
Gem narrowed her eyes. “Do you have something to tell us?”
“No! No, I just…” He trailed off, forcing another deep breath, slowly exhaling. “Um… is Scott around, at all?”
Gem blinked. “Y-Yeah, I think so? He should be in his base.”
Joel nodded, then pushed past the two. “Awesome. See you at home, Pearl.”
“Oh, uh- okay! See you later?”
He heard Pearl muttering something to Gem behind him, but couldn’t find it in himself to care. He had a mission now, and- and if he backed out for even a second, he knew he’d never gain the courage to try this again. It was now or never.
He barged into Scott’s base with probably a little too much force, though Scott didn’t seem to particularly mind, simply looking up from where he’d been crouched over a crafting table and giving Joel a warm smile. “Joel!” he greeted. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Scott,” Joel said, crossing the room to stand at his side, “remember that night we had in the first game?” He figured he may as well get straight to the point - the sooner he figured this shit out, the sooner he’d be able to get his mind to shut the fuck up.
“…yes,” Scott said, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Does the offer still stand?”
Scott was quiet for a moment, before slowly nodded. “…sure.” He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”
“Perfect,” Joel said. “I need you to kiss me. Right now.”
Scott blinked. “I- Are you sure?”
“Absolutely positive. Please .”
“I-“
“You said it wouldn’t have to mean anything, right?” Joel checked, to which Scott nodded.
“Y-Yeah, of course. Not if you don’t want it to.”
“Okay.” He breathed in. “Then I want to try. I need to know. Please. ”
“Alright,” Scott said, stepping closer to Joel. “Sure.” He reached out to cup a finger beneath Joel’s chin, lifting it up, then twisted his arm around to cup his cheek, bringing himself in closer to connect their lips together. As he gently worked Joel’s lips open, pulling him in into a deeper kiss, everything seemed to slot perfectly into place.
It felt so right. Joel didn’t understand what had taken him so damn long.
It was different to any kiss he’d ever had before, and yet it made his stomach flutter in that exact same way, brilliant and magical and…
Gosh.
When Scott pulled away, he ended up chasing his lips for another, and Scott happily complied, letting out a small giggle. He dragged Joel over to the bed, guiding him down, and continued to kiss him for a while longer, as Joel’s brain steadily turned into a wonderful mush. A smile spread so, so wide across his face.
Yeah.
Okay.
So Joel was definitely bisexual.
That was good to know.
When he and Scott finally did part, the next step of his plan quickly formulated in his mind. “Thank you,” he stole Scott, from the very bottom of his heart. “Thank you so much. ”
“Was that good?”
“That was wonderful,” Joel confirmed. “I… yeah. Confirmed for a few things, for sure.”
Scott hummed. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.” He liked guys. He liked guys. How on Earth it’d taken him this long to finally come to that conclusion, Joel had no clue. “I… fuck, I have so much to do.”
Before Scott could stop him, or Joel could stop himself , he rushed out of the base and began a desperate search around the server, looking for two very special guys. Thinking of nothing else but them , needing to do this, needing them to know.
He could hardly believe his luck when he found both of them stood by the Secret Keeper, quietly chatting to one another.
He walked up to them, not even bothering with a greeting before taking Etho in his arms, pulling down his mask ever so slightly, and connecting their lips together. Though initially shocked, Etho soon melted into his arms, into his touch, gently kissing back. And once again, it felt so right , so perfect. As if no time had passed at all since that first night spent together in their ship.
When he finally pulled away, he moved right on to Jimmy besides him, pulling his best friend into a kiss as well. Jimmy seemed far less surprised, immediately leaning into the kiss, kissing back with hunger. Clearly, he’d been waiting for a long time, and Joel could hardly believe how stupid he’d been to not see it sooner. Almost angry that Jimmy had never even mentioned it, and yet… well, it was certainly worth the wait, in any case.
When he pulled away again, it seemed as if neither quite knew how to respond.
But… they did seem happy, at least. Their cheeks starting to blush, the mouths smiling ever so wide.
“Been, uh, meaning to do that for a while,” Joel said, after a few moments of silence. “Thank you. Um… if either of you wanna do that again, you know where to find me, yeah?”
He barely gave them chance to respond before backing away.
“Thanks again. Love you both. You guys are amazing. Uh…” He gave them a small salute in farewell. “See you around!”
And with that, he left, rushing right back to his base as his own cheeks heated up more than they’d ever done before.
In all honesty, he… still had quite a lot to figure out.
But it was a start.
A wonderful start.