Chapter Text
PART 1
Arthur was always used to his own companionship when it came to his personal space.
Morgana, while dutifully playing the role of the annoying older sister, thankfully never breached his sanctuary back home. His room always remained his own. That’s why Arthur couldn’t help but feel a massive wave of irritation when he saw a tall, lanky, raven-haired boy standing outside his dorm with a box of his belongings. “Er- are you Arthur Pendragon?”
“Yes. Who are you?”
“My name is Merlin. I’m gonna be your new roommate for the school year!” the boy chirped with a surprising amount of enthusiasm.
Arthur groaned inwardly. He was hoping the email he had gotten about the new roommate had been a hoax, but life just seems to enjoy making his existence miserable. If Morgana were here, she would throw a remark about how he was always such a downer.
Merlin’s brow furrowed at Arthur’s silence. “Um, do you mind if I put my stuff inside? It’s kind of heavy.”
Arthur moved aside silently to let him in, never making an effort to remove the frown on his face. Merlin placed his stuff near the vacant side of the dorm and looked at Arthur warily, his enthusiasm visibly diminished.
Merlin opened his mouth to break the tense silence but Arthur beat him to it. “I’d appreciate it if you maintained the cleanliness of this dorm room and refrained from touching my stuff.“
“I-”
“And one more thing,” Arthur cut in. “Stay out of my way.”
Merlin stared, nonplussed.
Arthur grabbed his backpack and walked out the door to his next class.
Merlin watched as Arthur walked out the door, slamming it behind him. To say Merlin was shocked was an understatement. He was expecting to have a friendly conversation, something like Hey it’s so wonderful to have you here or Let’s be friends! but Arthur completely ruined his plans with his little speech. What a strange guy , Merlin thought. He was used to meeting interesting characters in his daily life, but he wasn’t really sure if he would ever understand Arthur Pendragon.
Over the next couple of days, Arthur seemed to get stranger and stranger. He seemed to completely ignore Merlin’s presence, no matter how hard Merlin tried to start a conversation with him. As far as Arthur was concerned, Merlin didn’t exist. He also had this strange habit of pacing around their small dorm room and randomly stopping and staring out into space, deep in thought. It drove Merlin nuts trying to figure out what he was thinking so intently about. Other times, he would check his phone for notifications and sometimes stare intently at the message, a frown creeping into his features. Despite his distress, Arthur never expressed any of his thoughts.
“Maybe Arthur is just an introvert,” Gwen remarked before taking a drink of her soda. Merlin stared at his pizza as if it might show him the answer to this puzzling dilemma. “I suppose so, but it just feels like more than that.”
Gwen sighed. “Look Merlin. Forget about Arthur for now. He isn’t actively bothering you so it’s best to just leave it. Don’t let him ruin our Friday night out.”
Merlin huffed an annoyed breath. “You’re right. Let’s talk about something else.” Gwen gave a relieved smile and took another sip of her soda.
A mischievous grin crept up his face. “So Gwen, when’s your wedding with Lance?”
Gwen choked on her soda. “W-what? There’s no wedding!” Gwen sputtered, cheeks turning crimson. Merlin’s grin widened.
“Of course not Gwen,” Merlin smirked.
“We’re still just… friends.” Gwen turned her face to hide her blush.
Merlin rolled his eyes. “Yea sure. Just friends.”
“I’m serious!” Gwen cried out. “We still haven’t really … um… talked about that.”
“Gwen, you've got to tell him. I’m sure he feels the same way. I mean, no guy who wants to ‘just be friends’ would show up with flowers at your door when you’re sad. Or pay for your meal when you go out. Or -”
“- I know, I know! It’s just … I’m afraid.” Gwen said softly.
Merlin reached across the table and took her hand. “It’s okay to be afraid. But don’t let your fear take away from something amazing. Everything you’ve told me about Lance just proves what a great guy he is.” Merlin gave her a reassuring smile.
“You’re right. I … I need to talk to him,” Gwen took in a shaky breath. Merlin gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
“It really can’t be that bad Arthur,” Lance said as he pulled a clean shirt over his torso. Arthur leaned against his gym locker and faced his best friend.
“Lance, I can’t stand the idea of a stranger living in the same space as me. It’s disturbing the peace of my sanctuary.”
“Oh come on Arthur, that’s a little dramatic, isn’t it?”
“No,” Arthur grumbled.
Lance let out a sigh. “For the son of a business tycoon, you’re quite the diva.”
Arthur rolled his eyes.
“Okay how about this,” Lance put his soccer shoes into his duffel bag and hoisted the bag on his shoulders, “why don’t you try to be friends with him? He seems to be pleasant and unproblematic. Knowing him makes him less of a stranger.”
Arthur shook his head. “I’d rather not.”
Lance placed a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “Look mate, I know you’re all about solitude or whatever but you can’t keep pushing people away, yea? This isn’t the way to live. See, if you didn’t take the chance with me, well, do you want to imagine your life without our friendship?”
Arthur rubbed his forehead. “I just … I don’t know Lance.”
Lance gave him a small, reassuring smile. “You don’t have to limit yourself by how many friendships you have in your life. Don’t let whatever fear you have get in the way of something wonderful.” He patted Arthur on the back and walked out of the locker room.
Merlin decided that he hated Arthur Pendragon. That prick. Merlin had tried his best to be a good roommate and possibly be friends, but Arthur threw every effort of his out of the window. Every rejection felt like a sharp sting against his arm. He couldn’t bear the insult any longer.
He felt his phone vibrate and saw Gwen’s name fill his screen. He picked up the call. Before he could say anything, he heard Gwen’s high pitched squeal on the other side of the call. Merlin winced and pulled the phone away from his ear and let her get it out of her system. After a bit, she quieted down. “I’m assuming things went well?” Merlin asked.
“OH MY GOD MERLIN. I was planning to tell Lance about my feelings today but then he beat me to it. He took me to the rose garden near campus and he pulled out a box of chocolates and a huge hand made poster and asked me to be his GIRLFRIEND. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!” Gwen squealed.
Merlin grinned so wide that his face hurt. “Gwen, that's incredible! See I told you he was in love with you!”
“I CANNOT believe this is happening! Oh Merlin, I’m so happy right now!”
“Gwen this is so AMAZING! Sooooo when can I finally meet Lance? He needs my approval if he’s going to date my best friend!”
Gwen laughed. “Of course of course. I’ll see when he’s free and maybe we can grab some food and hang out?”
“That would be wonderful! I’ll see you soon,” Merlin promised, and hung up. His cheerful mood quickly vanished as soon as Arthur came into the room. He made brief eye contact with Merlin, and then quickly turned away. Merlin scowled. How hard was it for him to say hello? He turned back to his sketchbook. Best not to let this ruin the rest of his day.
Soccer practice is always a grueling ordeal, but today felt especially tiring. Arthur stood in the gym showers for a bit and let the warm water ease his sore muscles. Being labeled as the “star player” wasn’t as great of a feeling as assumed by other people. Rather, the pressure to be perfect seems to weigh him even more. From the coach yelling at him to perfect his footwork, to Valiant and his cronies always sneering at him as if he were the enemy rather than a member of the same team.
Arthur sighed. It seems that no matter where he went, perfection was always demanded. From his father. From his professors. From his coach. From his team. Even with Lancelot there was some level of putting on a show, despite him being his best mate. He turned off the shower and let the sound of stray water drops fill the silence. All he really wanted was to be free from these expectations. A sudden buzz from his phone shook him out of his reverie. He got out of the shower and checked his phone.
Father: Don’t forget the banquet tonight. Don’t disappoint me.
Arthur removed the notification from his phone. It seemed like his father would never be satisfied with anything he did. He stepped out into the locker room and found it to be mostly empty. Despite everything, he managed to crack a smile. The quiet was what he missed the most since the beginning of this semester. The ability to let the mask fall off. To be completely, utterly himself. He soaked in the silence and he dried himself off and got dressed.
As Arthur made his way to the dorms, a melody pierced through the evening silence, stopping him in his tracks. It was very faint, but he could make out most of it. Arthur craned his neck, trying to figure out the source of the sound. He turned to the music building and cautiously walked inside. The music got louder as he made his way to the auditorium. The door was slightly open, so he slowly stepped inside the room. There, on the stage, was a boy with that unmistakable raven hair playing the grand piano. The melancholic tune filled the room and Arthur couldn’t help but get entranced by the beauty of the music. He watched the way Merlin’s fingers danced on the piano, light and precise, his body and the piano merging into one. Arthur couldn’t look away.
The piece started building up, the notes merging together in a flurry and reached a breathtaking climax, and then it fell through and concluded. Silent tears slid down Merlin’s face as he lifted his fingers off the piano. He made no movement to wipe them; instead he seemed to welcome the sadness that was bursting out of him. Arthur was surprised by the pang of melancholy he felt. Merlin was like the sun; his light never dimmed. Even with the hostility in the dorm, he’d never glimpsed this quiet sadness. Or maybe he never cared to take notice.
Coming here was a mistake.
He slowly started walking backward but of course his phone decided to buzz.
Merlin turned sharply at the sound, his eyes widening from shock. Arthur froze.
Merlin’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?” he snapped.
“I- um,” Arthur rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he thought of an excuse that didn’t make him sound creepy. “I was walking back to the dorms and I heard someone playing the piano. I was curious so I came to check it out. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
Merlin just stared.
Arthur hesitated, sensing the hostility but unable to ignore the haunting melody that had drawn him here. “It’s a beautiful piece,” he offered tentatively.
Merlin’s expression softened slightly. “Thanks. It’s an original piece I wrote for my father,” he said warily.
“What did he think of it?”
Merlin’s face clouded with a mixture of pain and longing. “He... he died before I could play it for him.”
Arthur’s curiosity shifted to empathy, sensing a shared sorrow beneath Merlin’s guarded demeanor. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, surprised by his own sincerity.
Merlin quickly wiped away a stray tear, averting his gaze towards the piano. “Every day, I think it’ll get easier, that after a while, I’ll be okay. But the pain never really goes away. The loss... it feels like too much sometimes,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
“My mother died right after I was born,” Arthur blurted out, surprising even himself. Merlin looked up, startled. “I... I never really knew her. But I’ve always wondered...” He paused, struggling to articulate his feelings. “I suppose it just gets easier with time. The pain.”
Merlin met Arthur’s eyes, a shared understanding passing between them in that moment. For a heartbeat, the world outside their conversation faded away, leaving only the two of them and their shared grief, and Merlin’s deep blue eyes -
Arthur’s phone buzzed angrily in his pocket once more, breaking the silence. A single message flashed up on the lock screen.
Morgana: Arthur please tell me you’re on your way.
“Shit! Um...” Arthur fumbled for words, torn between the pressing need to leave and the connection he felt with Merlin in that moment. “I, uh... I’ve got a thing...”
“Yeah, I’ll... um, let you go,” Merlin stammered, his usual composure momentarily shaken.
Arthur raced out of the room towards his dorm to get ready for the banquet. Even as the stress of being late filled his mind, and the constant messages from Morgana, all he could think about was Merlin at the piano and the deep blue eyes that connected with his.