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It’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. Instead, I’m watching you. The rise and fall of your chest, the faintest movement of your lips when you exhale, the moonlight glowing against your soft skin. My chest aches with emotion. I can hardly breathe. The way I love you consumes me still even after all these years. It is the greatest pain I could ever experience and I am eternally grateful for it. The sound of your breathing fills the room and your warmth spreads through me from where your hand rests on my chest. I can only hope my writing does not wake you, because this is the loveliest of views. You’re so beautiful…
Ikki sighed, clutching the faded paper to her chest. She had read them all twice over and still she was awestruck by the beauty and intensity of the words. She inspected the paper again, a finger tracing over the delicate ink. Whoever had written them had excellent handwriting, far better than her own. The writers were also so much better with words than she could ever hope to be.
“What are you reading?”
She startled at her sister’s voice. “Nothing,” she squeaked, trying to hide the pile of notes.
Jinora was faster though, already holding one and reading, “‘Your notes brighten my day in ways I could never properly explain. I can be feeling at my absolute lowest and one sentence from you sends me soaring. It’s unfair for you to be so talented at so many things…’” Her sister looked up. “Where did you get these?”
“I found them.” Knowing there was no keeping this to herself, Ikki pushed forward the rest of the stack. “They were stuck between two books in the library.”
Jinora thoughtfully skimmed over another page. “They’re notes between two people.”
“Two people in love,” Ikki clarified.
Her sister’s grey eyes widened suddenly. “Very in love.”
“You got to the one about her swimming naked? That’s how I figured out it was a man and a woman.”
Jinora’s blush confirmed her suspicion. “You shouldn’t be reading these,” she said. “They’re clearly private.”
“Look at the paper, they have to be decades old! I think they were left behind by a former acolyte or maybe even someone just passing through.”
Jinora didn’t respond for a moment, engrossed in one of the notes. Ikki craned her neck to see which one. “That’s a good one. The woman doesn’t write as much but what she does write…”
“This is so romantic. I can’t believe someone would just leave them behind. It had to have been an accident.”
“There aren’t any names or really any information that could tell us who wrote them. Mostly just talking about being in love and describing happy things. Like swimming naked in a lake in the moonlight.”
Jinora hurriedly took the entire stack, holding them close to her chest. “You’re too young to be reading stuff like this.”
“It’s not graphic! And I found them, you can’t just take them!”
“They don’t belong to either of us, but since we have no way of knowing who they belong to…”
Ikki crossed her arms. “You just want to read them.”
“Don’t be late for meditation this evening,” Jinora declared, her legs taking her in the opposite direction and leaving Ikki behind.
***
There was simply too much to be done for Jinora to read the notes immediately. She stashed them under her pillow and resumed her day, ignoring the annoyed looks Ikki regularly sent her; thankfully no one questioned the sisterly spat.
It wasn’t until the island grew quiet and the sun sank beneath the horizon that she sat down with the thin stack. She sat cross legged on her bed, inspecting them more carefully. Ikki had been right about them being old; the folds were deep and the edges frayed on some. They weren’t ancient, and she finally guessed they were between thirty and fifty years old. Probably someone from her grandparents’ time on the island. The paper was small - the fancy kind used only for letter-writing.
There wasn’t a single date or signature and names weren’t used. They were just notes, short messages between a couple deeply in love. The longest one stretched an entire paper, front and back, and the shortest was a single sentence: My love for you grows stronger every day.
Based on the alternating handwriting, they were in order. Jinora opened the first one, quickly determining it to have been written by the man.
You rushed off so quickly this morning and I myself was also busy. Our minds and responsibilities get away from us, don’t they? We say we aren’t designed for celebrations and I agree. But not for the reasons you may think. We have no need to celebrate trivial occasions such as that first kiss so many years ago or the day we said our vows. Even birthdays feel needless. I do not believe this is because we are dreadfully boring as some would say. We simply do not need these occasions because we treasure every second together. We have seen the darkness in the world and we embrace the light. Every moment I am able to think of you is a moment to savor. I love you.
The woman’s letter, next in the stack, didn’t prove if it was a response to the first.
Sometimes words aren’t enough to describe what I am thinking or feeling. A phrase came to mind earlier: by your side is where I belong. It frustrated me because by your side could never be enough. You’re the writer of the two of us. What wording makes more sense?
Each note felt like a ramble, like a person high off love and unable to contain themself. Jinora read through them slowly, holding the papers with reverence; two people had poured their heart and souls into these words. Some were playful and sweet, referencing silly moments in everyday life. Others were heated, one leaving her sighing and another mortified. While the man wrote more, there was something in the woman’s writing that had Jinora enraptured. Even the one and two sentence notes left her feeling like there was a piece of someone embedded into the paper.
I feel you looking at me and I meet your eyes. In that instant, I know there is no love greater than ours. Always.
***
Asami enjoyed visiting Air Temple Island. There was something so comforting about a quiet place nearly free of the modern world and yet so close to the hustling city. No matter the time or day she could find a friend ready to share a cup of tea or lend an ear. She had taken to stopping over at random, her friendship with Opal and many of the other airbenders growing deeper with each visit.
She was looking for Opal when she spotted two other friends. Jinora and Ikki were huddled beneath a tree, whispering and giggling. Asami felt her intrigue spike and she couldn’t walk by without interrupting.
“You two look excited about something.”
They both looked up at her, fighting smiles. Ikki asked, “Do you like love stories?”
“Who doesn’t?” Asami sank down to sit with them. She noticed the weathered papers in Jinora’s hands but waited for an explanation.
“I found these,” Ikki explained, “in between two books in the library. They’re love letters.”
“They’re not letters. They’re…” Jinora paused, thinking. “They’re notes between a married couple who just want to remind each other of their love.”
“They’re love letters,” Ikki insisted.
Asami held out her hand. “What are their names?”
“No idea,” Jinora said, handing over the stack. “We aren’t even sure if they’re really in order.”
“This is how I found them and it alternates between the man and the woman.”
Asami skimmed the first one, smiling at the sweetness. “How do you know it’s a man and a woman?”
They replied in unison, “The lake scene.”
She looked at them wide-eyed. “The what?”
“It gets a little steamy,” Ikki stated, dropping her voice, “and then you can tell it’s probably a man and a woman.”
“But we could be wrong,” Jinora reasoned, only making Asami more curious.
She picked one at random, opening it and reading out loud. “‘There are more colors in your eyes than I could ever name but I still try. When it becomes too much I search for ways to describe the rest of you. Once again, I fall short. The way the scent of your hair never leaves the pillow - how could I describe the intense emotion that triggers inside of me? Or the electric feeling of being wrapped around you, our hearts beating together. I breathe you in, my eyes never leaving yours, my blood rushing for you, the taste of your lips, of your skin, of…’” Asami cleared her throat, wondering if her cheeks were pink. “You two have read all of them?”
Ikki sighed, leaning against the tree. “So many times.”
“You can take them if you’d like,” Jinora offered.
Ikki scoffed in disagreement and her older sister shot her a glare. “They’re not ours. Asami can read them if she wants.”
With an exaggerated sigh, Ikki stood up. “Fine! Fine! I’m going to get started on my chores…see you later, Asami.”
Once Ikki was gone, Asami looked back at Jinora. “I don’t want to sound judgmental, but is she old enough to read this sort of thing?”
Jinora shrugged. “They aren’t that bad. Also, she found them so it’s not like anyone was around to stop her.”
“They are romantic,” she noted, looking back down. “Are you sure you don’t mind me taking them?”
Jinora smiled. “You and Korra might like them.”
***
For two weeks, the notes sat on Asami’s desk. She passed them frequently, reminding herself to read them, but she never found a moment. It wasn’t until Korra noticed them that she picked them up again.
“Apparently, Ikki found them in the temple library,” she explained. “They’re notes between two lovers. The girls say it’s quite a romantic read.”
Korra took the notes eagerly. “Let’s see for ourselves then.”
They settled on the sofa, legs tangling together as they got comfortable. Asami read the first few, all sweet missives that left them smiling. Then Korra requested a turn to read.
“‘It has been one of those days where I cannot stop thinking about you. I have been caught up in my daydreaming much to the detriment of my work. It is not unusual for you to be stuck in my thoughts but I keep revisiting our last outing to the lake.’”
Asami gasped, remembering what Ikki and Jinora had said. “They said this one was a little intense.”
Korra didn’t comment, merely raising one eyebrow questioningly before resuming her reading. “‘The same scene plays out over and over. You know the one. We waited until the moon was high enough in the sky before we shed all of our clothes and walked into the water.’” Korra was smirking. “‘It is etched into my brain. The sight of you diving under and then emerging. I was standing in the shallows, the water barely up to my knees. I was captivated by you. You pushed back your hair, every contour of your face casting shadows in the night. The water dripped down your porcelain skin, the moonlight’s glow looking like diamonds outlined your every curve. You laughed at me but I could hardly breathe. I stood in heated anticipation as you moved through the water so gracefully, more and more of your flawless body revealed the closer you came…’”
Asami broke from her trance. “That’s it?”
Korra blew out a breath. “No, I just need a second. You want to finish?”
She didn’t hesitate, taking the paper and finding where they had left off. “‘…I will never forget that perfect image of you standing there like a magical creation of my wildest dreams. Standing directly in front of me, your chilled skin seemed to take the heat right out of my own. Your hands touched my face, my neck, my chest, and truthfully, I fell into oblivion at that moment. Do not mistake my words as being crass. The beauty I witnessed as I looked down at you kneeling in the water…’” Asami snuck a look at Korra. “The girls were confident this was a man and a woman.”
Korra smugly stated, “Well, that’s what I’m picturing right now. I feel like a woman wouldn’t defend themselves like that. They’d just describe the sex. That may just be me though.”
“‘…is unmatched. I always swear to never forget any moment we spend together but this is where my memory lapses. The next thing I can recall is you taking my hand and leading me back to our blanket on the grass. The following hours spent worshiping you beneath the stars will forever mark our shared soul.’”
That was the end of the note. Asami returned it to the stack. “So, another one?”
Korra gently took the notes and placed them on the table. “I have a better idea,” she said, pulling her in for a kiss.
***
“Just trust me. You want to read them.”
Opal was confused by Asami’s suggestion. “Love letters that Ikki found in a book?”
“You’ll have to ask her for the whole story. But, Korra and I have read them about ten times now. They’re…sweet and romantic and sexy. Plus, we know these are real people but we don’t know who. That adds mystery.”
Opal picked up the stack. They looked close to thirty years old. “They’re that good, huh?”
“Read them before bed tonight,” Asami instructed, looking very wise as she sipped her tea.
Opal took them to her room, and after a brief debate with herself, she settled in to read one or two before turning off her light. But one or two wasn’t enough. She found herself reaching for the next page every time, and often when the words were too much, she read them twice.
Little One was so sick that one winter. It’s been so many years, but I’m certain you remember it as vividly as I do. I was such a wreck. You knew how much it had worried me despite everyone promising they were chronic ear infections and nothing to be fearful of. I panicked over every single one. You never told me I was overreacting. Not even when everyone around us said I was. The confidence you have in me keeps me strong on even my weakest days.
The next one was written by him.
If I could relive one moment in time… There are too many to choose from. Yet, my head goes to the day we said our vows. Just the two of us standing there, the sky clear and perfect, and the way you smiled and looked at me…I’m overwhelmed just remembering it. I had known for a long time that you were my soulmate, but saying the words like that, promising each other this lifetime and the next… Some people are fortunate to have wealth or power. Some are rich in family. Others may feel their bending is the greatest gift bestowed upon them. I know what makes me lucky. It is you. It is the miracle of this life, the sheer chance of us being born two halves of a whole. Not everyone has a soulmate, I fear. I am immensely grateful that I not only have you now and for the rest of time, but I have spent nearly all my life beside you. We were created from one soul, and with each passing day I feel the ties that bind our halves together growing stronger and stronger. No matter where I am in the world, in life, and no matter who is there, it is always you. My very breath belongs to you. I love you. Now, forever, always, in this life, and the next. My soulmate.
Opal lowered the paper with a sigh. Asami was right, these notes were everything and more. She read through the remaining ones much too quickly, bereft when she reached the end. Then she was flooded with questions.
What happened to this couple? Were they still alive? How did they find each other? And most importantly, how did they know they with such certainty that they were soulmates?
She picked up the final note to read it again. It was from the woman.
Your love is permanently engraved on my body. It comforts me so.
***
Suyin smiled at the feeling of the sun hitting her face. Standing on the dock of Air Temple Island was the closest she could get to time travel. With the salty wind, the distant city sounds, and an indescribable scent, she could very well be ten years old again.
She loved that her daughter had settled in here. While she missed Opal terribly, she was comforted knowing she was living where Su had grown up. She was also comforted knowing that Lin was right there to look out for her. Her relationship with her sister had made leaps and bounds in the past two years. They had moved beyond cordial and were now friendly - almost sisterly. Every time Opal mentioned in a letter that she had had dinner with her aunt or spent time with her, Su was thrilled.
She would visit Lin that very evening, but first, she wanted to find her sweet daughter.
The island was full of activity considering the good weather and time of day. She was pulled into several conversations and nearly thirty minutes passed by the time she finally spotted Opal. She wasn’t alone. A gaggle of women and teen girls were sitting together in the meditation pavilion. As Suyin came closer, she heard the tell-tale signs of girl talk: giggles and whispers.
“What’s going on here?”
Opal spun around and beamed at her. “Mom! You’re early.”
She hugged her daughter tightly. “I wanted to surprise you. And Lin,” she added with a wink. “I like to keep her on her toes.”
She looked around at the group: Korra, Asami, Jinora, Ikki, and one she recognized as Dara, an acolyte Opal was close to. Su didn’t recognize the other two women who looked barely out of their teens, one donning the airbender wing suit.
“This is a gossip circle if I ever saw one,” she declared, sitting down between Opal and Asami. “What’s the news?”
“More like a non-traditional book club,” Asami amended.
Opal offered a real explanation. “A few weeks back, Ikki found these notes - ”
“They were stuck between two books on the history of the Yangchen era!”
“ - and they were messages between a couple. They look pretty old and there are no names.”
Jinora said, “We know they were married, knew each other since they were children, and maybe had a kid of their own.”
One of the women Su didn’t recognize interjected, “The kid is only mentioned twice. I think it may be a relative or something.”
“It’s definitely their kid!” Ikki insisted. “She talked about being scared when they were sick. That sounds like a mother.”
Jinora disagreed. “I would be worried if you or the boys got sick.”
The discussion splintered and Suyin was bewildered by their passion. “Wow, you all are really into these love letters.”
“Notes,” Jinora corrected politely.
Su looked around in amusement. “Any chance I can see these notes?”
There was no hesitation when Dara handed them over. It seemed the girls had nearly memorized them. Ikki had romanticized the couple further by giving them names and additional background.
“Peony and Souta. He traveled for work and visited the island, accidentally leaving behind these notes. He returned home to his wife and their six kids in the countryside.”
Jinora humored her sister, adding, “And the soulmates lived happily ever after, madly in love until they passed on to the Spirit World where their love continues to this day.”
Ikki sighed happily. “I would die if someone wrote about me like that.”
Suyin was still laughing when she unfolded the first letter. “This is clearly worth a read then.” Before she could even start reading though, the group started breaking apart.
Opal was apologetic, explaining, “We all have work to do, I’m afraid. We can have dinner together?”
“Of course! I knew surprising you meant I’d be waiting.” She tucked the notes into her pocket. “Do not worry about me, I have plans to pester your Aunt Lin.”
Opal hugged her again. “Read the notes. They’re some of the most romantic words I’ve ever read.”
Asami and Korra were both heading to the mainland so they walked to the ferry together. They told her more about the notes.
“Be careful, the guy gets a little into it,” Korra warned.
Asami was quick to defend the mystery writer. “But he’s so romantic. He’s constantly talking about her beauty and how he could never love anyone like he loves her.”
“You all are acting like this is the greatest love story ever told and you don’t even know these people.”
The couple shared a look. “I don’t know about greatest ever…” Asami stated. “But it’s pretty amazing. You’ll see.”
Once she was on her own again, Suyin found a quiet bench. “Let’s see how romantic you two really are…”
People said we were soulmates and I laughed. Because what a silly concept. But you are, without a doubt, the other half of me, the one who makes me whole. The sight of you makes me dizzy. I’m so in love with you.
The woman’s handwriting seemed familiar. Three notes in, she wondered why that was. Ikki had found these in the library. Had they been written by people Su had known in her youth?
If I could, I would take you in my arms and we would fly to a place no one could reach us. We would not know anyone and no one would know us. We could start fresh, our only responsibilities to each other. I could love you the way you truly deserve. No one would invade our time together, no one would pull us apart. It would be just the two of us, existing in space and time as one spirit. I would wake you up every morning with breakfast and we would greet the day together. Every minute would be filled with our love. There would be music and laughter and we would dance every spare moment. When the sun begins to set, I’d stand outside with you, looking not at the sky, but at the way the colors dance on your face. The stars and moon may shine above but I can only see them reflected in your eyes. My love, you will never know how beautiful you are to me. Our souls are incomplete and our hearts are empty when we aren’t together. If ever there was a love greater than ours, we will surely surpass it in time. And you and I have all the time in the world.
Su could see why these notes were so popular. They were beautiful and when she reached the description of the night at the lake, she wondered if she would be able to discuss these with any of the girls, let alone her daughter.
Then she flipped to the next note and the words jumped out at her.
Little One was so sick that one winter.
Two words and Suyin knew exactly who had written these notes. She found herself reading at a rapid pace, trying to absorb every detail and commit it all to memory. Because if she was right - and she knew she was - these notes held more secrets than any of the girls realized.
The afternoon was dwindling and Su knew she needed to act. With the notes safe in her pocket, she headed for Police Headquarters.
***
Tenzin sat in the guest chair in front of Lin’s desk. One of her captains remained standing as he recited his report on that week’s spirit interactions RCPD had been involved in. These monthly meetings were dreadfully boring and he had half a mind to make it Jinora’s job. But then he would miss out on watching Lin’s seemingly passive face. She did an excellent job concealing herself but Tenzin knew her tell. It was her eyes that reflected her emotions and currently she was ready to strangle the young man in front of her.
The poor captain was saved by the office door swinging open and a cheerful Suyin breezing into the room.
“Perfect! Just the people I was looking for.” She paused, looking at the captain. “Not you. I don’t need you.”
Lin heaved a sigh before dismissing her confused captain. She waited until the office door was closed again to ask, “Do I even want to know why you’re here?”
Su’s smug grin was foreboding, especially given the sisters’ history. Tenzin watched carefully as she sat in the opposing guest chair, legs crossed.
“I was just with Opal and I learned about the latest craze taking the island by storm.” Green eyes landed on him suddenly. “Tenzin, surely you’re in the know about what goes on with the younger crowd?”
Even Lin snorted at that comment. He glowered. “What have you heard, Su?”
“It seems your younger daughter was perusing the library when she discovered some long forgotten letters - or notes, rather. Apparently, they were so intriguing and enjoyable that she shared them with her sister who passed them along and my understanding is that half the females on that island have read them a dozen times over.”
Lin stopped her. “You came barging in here to tell us about the latest gossip?”
“Oh, this is gossip you want to hear. As I was saying, these notes have become very popular. Korra and Asami were raving about them, and Opal told me they are ‘the most romantic words’. The girls were kind enough to part with the notes - they’ve practically memorized them after all - and I just had a read.”
“Okay?” Tenzin shared a confused look with Lin, wondering what was so fascinating about his daughters and their friends enjoying some old love letters.
“You see, the notes are at least twenty years old. I would estimate more like thirty but to be sure I’d need more information.” Su paused and Lin rolled her eyes at the unnecessary drama.
Su continued, “Clearly, they were written before the break-up but there are several mentions of the elopement. Tell me, when exactly did you two secretly get married?”
Tenzin felt the air evaporate from his lungs. He froze, staring at Suyin in horror. He knew he couldn’t look at Lin. His mind sifted through every item he possessed. He couldn’t remember love letters. He and Lin had rarely been apart for more than a week or two at a time so letter writing wasn’t a major part of their relationship. There was also very little physical evidence remaining of their past love. In fact, the only things he could think of were tucked beneath a floor board in his study, a place no one knew of.
Lin’s low voice flooded his ears. “What. Did. You. Do?”
Tenzin couldn’t respond; he could hardly breathe, let alone think.
Suyin very happily carried on. “You certainly lucked out this time. No names, no dates…I probably wouldn’t have even figured it out if you hadn’t mentioned me in them. Now, if the kids knew you two had written them… They’re obsessed. They think you two are the absolute pinnacle of love. Soulmates. Ikki created a backstory for you that’s rather sweet.”
Tenzin finally met Lin’s gaze and he could see the fury in those stunning eyes. But also a modicum of hurt. Because their love had been such a tightly wrapped secret that was now exposed.
“Tenzin,” she stated, warningly, and he scrambled for a reply.
“I honestly don’t know what she’s talking about. I mean…did we write letters?”
Lin looked exasperated now, mouth gaping. “You expect me to remember?”
“Wait,” Su interjected. “You don’t remember writing each other love letters?”
Her sister glared. “Do you remember everything you did the first thirty plus years of your life?”
“Fair point.” She paused. “I was surprised by how raunchy it got. Tenzin really threw me with some of his words. What was that line…oh! ‘The beauty I witnessed as I looked down at you kneeling in the water…’”
Lin groaned, face falling into her hands. “Tenzin,” she repeated, uncharacteristically open with her emotions.
He could feel his body temperature increase with embarrassment. He searched his memories further. “We…sometimes we would write each other notes and leave them for each other when we were busy with work.”
Lin looked up from her hands, almost frightened as the situation became clear. There had been notes. Sometime in their late twenties when they were still deeply in love and desperate for more. The habit had been short lived and he couldn’t recall what had happened to the remnants.
“‘There are more colors in your eyes than I could ever name…’”
“Oh no,” Lin whined, “no, no, no, no…”
Tenzin’s next realization hit him hard. “My daughters read these?”
“Ikki would simply die if someone wrote her such romantic words.”
His stomach turned. “I’m going to be sick,” he muttered, head bowing.
There was a pause, a long second for he and Lin to continue panicking. Then Suyin’s curiosity grew too much.
“Back to the elopement. When did you get married? And then get divorced with no one knowing?”
He was shocked when Lin evenly replied, “We were teenagers. It was right before he got his tattoos. It was just…it wasn’t legal. No one was there. Hence no divorce.”
“No wonder you never got married officially! You two were laughing it up with your secret marriage.” Su gasped. “The bracelet! The jade pendant he gave you for your sixteenth birthday! That was a betrothal necklace in disguise!”
Tenzin rubbed his forehead, still reeling over his daughters knowing such intimate details. And Korra. And Asami. “Who all did you say has read these?”
“I’d say every female between the ages of fourteen and twenty-five that live on that island or are close friends with someone who does.”
That was more than he could comprehend. He nodded dumbly. “Right. Okay. But they don’t know they’re our letters? You said there were no names used but that you were mentioned.”
Su recited, “‘Little One was so sick that winter’. How many people know about that nickname? Also, they think these were written by a married couple who couldn’t possibly have ever broken up. You two don’t fit the bill.”
“How did they end up in the temple library of all places?” Lin asked, sounding tired.
He shook his head. “I haven’t the faintest idea. Really, I don’t know. At some point we must have put the notes together and then…put them somewhere without thinking about it.”
Movement distracted him and he looked to see Su had removed a stack of folded paper. “I still have questions. First, where was this lake you two frequented for skinny dipping and dirty, moonlit sex?”
Lin moved so fast Tenzin could hardly process what was happening. Less than a second had passed, and Su was now struggling to remain upright and Lin was back behind her desk, notes firmly in hand.
“I wasn’t done with those!” Suyin complained. “The lake! Dirty, moonlit sex!”
“It wasn’t dirty,” Lin grumbled, thumbing through the notes.
“Also,” Su asserted, standing up, “the girls probably thought the comment about ‘your love is permanently engraved on my body’ was a metaphor, but I know better. Fess up, where’s the tattoo and what’s it of? His name? Your anniversary date?”
Tenzin could vividly picture that small tattoo and its intimate location. He hoped his reaction didn’t show.
Lin looked up from the notes with a passive face and told her sister, “Thank you for giving these back to us. I appreciate you not telling anyone about this.”
Suyin sighed and then pointed a warning finger. “I’m coming over tonight for a drink and you will answer at least three of my questions.”
“Maybe,” Lin hedged, eyes back on the notes.
Su turned around. “I’ll leave you two to walk down memory lane. I suggest starting with the visit to the lake where Tenzin apparently ‘worshipped you beneath the stars’.”
Neither of them took the bait. The door shut after Su, and then Tenzin rushed to stand behind Lin, reading over her shoulder.
“This isn’t bad,” he murmured, trying to keep up with her speed-reading. She flipped to the next page. “Okay, that’s…not something I want people knowing.”
“I don’t need commentary.”
In complete silence, they went through the remaining notes. The tension was overwhelming, both of them stuck in the mix of emotions. It was a push and pull between the horror of knowing people - including Ikki and Korra - had read such intimate words, and the lusty feeling of remembering the depth of their love.
Lin set down the stack and folded her hands beneath her chin. “I can’t believe you lost these.”
“I didn’t lose them. We were living together when we wrote these. I think we can shoulder equal blame in this situation.”
“At least the only person who knows the truth is Su.”
He reached over her shoulder, fanning out the notes. “It’s fitting that she was the one to find out.”
“Why?”
“When we eloped, she was the only one you wanted to tell. You were going to tell her.”
“Then she turned into a snotty brat who wouldn’t talk to me.”
“She reached her teen years and you could no longer be her mother and her sister. You had to choose.”
“Well, she chose for us.” She reached to touch one of the notes. “I’m going to have to tell her about the tattoo, aren’t I?”
“You can always lie.”
“She has no boundaries. She’d probably break in and try to catch me in the shower or something equally invasive.”
Tenzin looked away from their writing. They were a breath’s apart, such a comfortable distance for them and yet one that had been forbidden for so long. He could smell her unique scent, other memories flooding in…
“Stop smelling my hair.”
He straightened “I wasn’t…how did you know?”
“Same way I know you’ve been thinking about that tattoo since Su mentioned it.”
His cheeks reddened. “No, I haven’t,” he mumbled, an obvious lie.
“We need to destroy these,” she declared, stacking the notes again.
“No!”
Lin whirled around to look at him heavily. “Tenzin. We can’t keep these.”
“We worked hard on them,” he said lamely.
She stared at him, their eyes locked as they shared their thoughts without ever saying a word. He didn’t want their words of love to be destroyed. She felt the same. Both of them knew it wasn’t appropriate to keep them. He failed to see a compromise.
“I can keep things private,” she finally stated softly. “No one goes rifling through my things.”
“I also can keep things private.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Floorboard in the study?”
“I can keep things private from everyone but you,” he amended.
Lin finally smiled, glancing down at the notes. “I’ll keep the ones you gave to me. You keep the ones I gave to you. Sound fair?”
“Deal.”
They divided the pages, handing over one another’s words of love. Tenzin folded his carefully and tucked them into his inner robes. He observed Lin slide hers into the bottom drawer of her desk.
“Now that that’s settled,” she said, “some of us have actual work to do.”
He could take a hint. It pained him to walk away without so much as a hug or even just a hand against her shoulder. But now wasn’t the time or place; they were too caught up in dangerous waters. So he stepped away graciously.
“I’ll see you for tea this weekend?”
Lin was already opening files. “Sure. Just call me to set a time.”
Tenzin forced himself to walk away. He forced himself not to linger, not to stare at her. He left her office, and then the building, and he knew he had the entire distance to the ferry to shake the image of that small, blue tattoo. He could only hope it would be enough.
***
Lin tried to ignore the knocking on her door. She had been waiting all evening for it to come, had already mixed herself a drink in preparation. With a sigh, she unlocked it and held it open. Su came flouncing in with her usual charisma.
“You need to help me think of a good story to tell Opal and the others when they ask for the letters back.”
Lin sank into her favorite armchair, not saying a word as her sister helped herself to the liquor cabinet. Su then sprawled across the sofa, drink in hand, a devious smirk on her face. “I cannot believe you kept this a secret for over thirty years.”
They had to be approaching forty years now that Lin thought about it. They eloped in thirty-seven…so that meant…
“Damn,” she murmured, catching Su’s attention.
“What is it?”
“Last month would’ve been thirty-nine years.”
Suyin groaned. “I can’t with you two. Thirty-nine years of marriage, right? Meaning it’s been longer since you started dating.”
“I suppose.”
“How did no one suspect the pendant?”
“Oh please, plenty of people did.” Lin paused. “Sokka knew. Tenzin told him, wanted help carving it.”
Su sat up quickly, nearly sloshing her drink. “Do you still have it?”
Of course she did. She sipped her drink, responding with a question of her own. “Why are you so interested in this? We broke up twenty years ago.”
“Please. You two were the epic love story of a generation. The kids may not know it, but I remember the days when you and Tenzin were the definition of true love.”
It was a sign that she’d had enough to drink that she didn’t even blush. “Okay. I believe you wanted three questions. I’ll call the earlier ones freebies. What do you want to know?”
“Only three,” Su sighed. “That’s tough.”
Lin nursed her drink, refusing to make eye contact. “You want to see the tattoo.”
Su straightened immediately. “Does that count as a question?”
“Obviously.”
Her sister frowned briefly and then set down her drink on the nearby table. “Okay. Show me where you’re hiding it. I’m not about to get an eyeful am I?”
Lin had to hold in her irritated sigh. She stood up and yanked down her loose fitting pants just enough to show the dangerously low tattoo near her hipbone. Suyin leaned forward, mouth parted in awe.
“It’s a heart.” She laughed. “When you wrote about his love engraved on your body I didn’t realize…hang on.”
Lin pulled herself together and sat back down; she’d been expecting this part.
“It’s blue,” Su stated bluntly. “Not just any blue. Did…is it the same ink?”
“Leftover from his ceremony,” Lin confirmed.
Suyin understood the gravity more than most. “Is that even allowed?”
“Should we have asked Aang for permission first? It was Tenzin’s idea. He sort of sprung it on me, to be honest.”
“And you said yes?”
“I was barely seventeen. Need I remind you what you were doing at that age?”
“I am tattoo free, thank you very much. Wow. I knew you two had a secret fun side but I’m starting to wonder just how much fun you had.”
“Enough to last a lifetime.” She finished her drink and stood up to get another. “You have two more questions. Use them wisely.”
She was mid-pour when her sister gently asked, “Why didn’t you just have kids with him?”
Lin hesitated for only an instant before she had her smooth reply. “Your questions are supposed to pertain to the notes.”
There was a silence as Su debated internally. Lin took her time mixing her drink and when she returned, Su had mustered up a new question.
“When exactly did you write these?”
It was a startlingly innocuous question. “We aren’t positive but…probably when I was twenty-eight or twenty-nine.”
“But…you mention me. You mention that winter I had those ear infections and how worried you had been.”
“And…?”
Suyin was gazing at her with emotion pouring out. Lin couldn’t conceive as to why. Had her sister really thought she had been banished from every corner of Lin’s mind?
Whatever was warring in Su’s mind was quelled because she spit out her last question with a much too eager voice.
“How often did you visit that lake?”
Lin swirled the liquid in her glass, choosing her words carefully. “Often enough.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one you’re going to get. That’s three questions. I’ve fulfilled my obligation and you have now been properly repaid for returning our notes.”
Su huffed but she was still smiling. She raised her glass. “A toast to your super secret marriage.”
Lin felt her smile and mirrored her sister’s gesture. “I’ll drink to that.”
***
Not too far from where Lin and Su were having drinks, Tenzin was settling in with a drink of his own. The island was silent, the midnight hour creeping in. He was on the floor of his study, partially hidden by his desk and chair. A floorboard was pulled up, revealing the hidden cubby.
He sipped his whiskey slowly as he stared down at the wooden box. He hadn’t opened it in years but he spent plenty of time gazing at it, imagining its contents with clarity. Tenzin finished his drink and reached for the bottle. One more before I change my mind.
The box lifted up easily and he was excited at the prospect of looking inside. As soon as he removed the lid, he spotted the red sash. The knots were as strong as ever, only the ends showing their age. He held it reverently, bringing it to his lips. It hadn’t smelled like her in decades but he could still remember. He returned it to its place, taking a sip from his glass as he observed the next item.
A simple bottle, faded blue ink still marking the inside’s edges. He didn’t even pick it up, his focus on the remaining object in the box.
This…he couldn’t open. It was a small journal his younger self had fashioned into a sketchbook. In it, he had pasted together his most prized collection of drawings. Deep in his gut, he felt the itching of guilt and took another sip to burn it away. There was no good reason to still have them. Lin would be furious. Pema…he didn’t want to even imagine if his wife found out.
His drink finished, Tenzin returned the book. Then he reached into his pocket for the notes. He was tempted to read them again, but he didn’t need to. He remembered every word, every touch, every emotion. He placed the bundle on top of the sketchbook, nestled beside their marriage knot. Then he closed the box and set it back in the cubby. He replaced the floorboard, and with a withering sigh, he stood up.
Memories would likely haunt him another night. No sense wallowing in them. He put away the whiskey bottle and glass and made his way to the uncomfortable bench across the room. He couldn’t share a bed with his wife while he was still reminiscing about a little, blue heart.