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ISO Arrangement.

Summary:

Ash L.
he/him, 18
Sites like this only mean one thing for me. In search of arrangement. Hmu if you want it from me.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I know this will never work b/c no one would ever find me attractive, but I guess I always think it's worth trying anyway? Let me know!

Ash and Eiji update their Tinder profiles over the course of the canon series.

Notes:

This is a bit silly, a bit sad, and overall experimental. Age and pronouns changing the way they do is intentional and not a typo. It's entirely told from the dating app profile biographies, not any DMs or dialogue. I couldn't get this out of my head once I thought of it, so I hope you enjoy it!

Art is by radspeon.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Ash L.

he/him, 18
Sites like this only mean one thing for me. In search of arrangement. Hmu if you want it from me.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I know this will never work b/c no one would ever find me attractive, but I guess I always think it's worth trying anyway? Let me know!

Ash L.
he/him, 18
I wish someone would treat me like I'm still new to this shit. Experienced but I can pretend not to be.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I'd like to find someone who makes me feel something I haven't felt before.

Ash L.
he/him, 18
Honestly I'm kinda interested in this guy I just met, but I'm literal poison to him. The flame to his goddamn forest. Take my mind off him for a few hours? <3

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
Fell in love at first sight but he thinks I'm a friend at best and a burden at worst. I'm here looking for something more realistic.

Ash L.
he/him, 18
Just looking for something to keep me occupied. Kink friendly, sugar friendly. Really whatever, I can promise I've seen worse. Make me an offer.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I'll take anyone willing to glance at me at this point. Thank you for even reading this far honestly? I'm not sure if anyone will see this at all.

Ash L.
he/whatever, 18
It'd be nice to find a cutie farther from my usual. Soft and sweet. Maybe someone shorter than me. Anything different from the rest tbh

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I don't think I really have a type, just maybe someone who isn't super one dimensional? I'm not afraid of complicated; I'm afraid of boring.

Ash L.
he/whatever, 18
I know I'm damaged but I guess my ideal man would accept me even as damaged goods. To be honest, I want someone I can safely cry in front of for once.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I like them tall, blond, and handsome. If you know you're smarter than me but won't make me feel bad about it, we could be a good fit.

Ash L.
he/whatever, 18
If you can't handle me picking on you as a form of affection, we won't get along. Cute over hot this time, and more than a physical connection for once jfc. I don't care how you are in bed if you can make me smile.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
I like long walks on the beach and gunslinger boys. Calloused hands I can hold in mine. I'll take scars over beauty but my ideal guy has a lot of both. Sorry if this is weirdly specific, I'm confused and hopeful rn

Ash L.
any, 18
I'm not asking for the impossible, I hope, just someone different than everyone before. Starting to think that everyone who looks at me really is the same. Please don't call yourself 'exotic' for my sake, but if you're not a white man twice my age then we're off to a decent start. iykyk

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
Maybe an all American boy? I've been in the States less than a year, so maybe someone who could teach me the culture and show me around NYC. Someone experienced is always a plus.

Ash L.
any, 18
If you can't handle me at my worst, imagine how I fucking feel about it. I don't blame you for not being able to handle me. I'll pretend I'm anything you want for a few hours if the price is right, hmu

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
Honestly, I want a guy who can kick my ass, but won't. Kind, but a mean streak won't bother me as long as you're a good person at heart. Whatever you've been through, we can make it work if you just give me a chance. I'm right here.

Ash L.
any, 18
Looking to lose myself in someone tonight. Nothing long term right now. No strings attached type deal. Just distract me for a night, please. I won't even ask for your name.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
To be frank, I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend. I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on from him, but I'll try to devote myself to a more realistic option if you're willing to let me try. I'm far from perfect, but all I do is try.

Ash L.
any, 18
Don't ask if I'm old enough to be on here. If you care about the answer then we're not a good match. Don't ask if this is my real name. Don't ask for my ID. Just don't ask.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
If I can't get to know you and trust you with all of myself, I don't know what to do. I'm not saying it needs to be right now, just some day. Please.

Ash L.
he/any, 19
This is gonna sound stupid and edgy but there really is nothing better out there for someone like me. If you're reading this I know what you want, so just come take it.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
Part of me hopes that he will see this and know it's about him.

Ash L.
he/any, 18
Why am I even here anymore? He's all I think about, even when I try to lose myself in someone else.

Eiji O.
he/him, 19
Am I always going to feel this way? Why is he so oblivious?

Ash L.
he/any, 18
Looking for someone to fuck me up. If you like to give it harder than most boys can take, I'm yours.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
I just want to show someone how much love I have to give. I want to care for you.

Ash L.
he/any, 18
Open to anything. Let's make an arrangement.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
There's nothing that can keep me away from him if he wants me nearby. I'd meet him in a dirty alley with blood on my knees if that's what it takes. I want to love deeper than he knows someone can feel for him.

Ash L.
he/whatever, 18
If you're going to be afraid to hurt me or break me, don't bother DMing.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
I'm ready for my next adventure with you.

Ash L.
he/whatever, 18
I'm not good with words. You can let my body speak for me.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
I thought love was poetry, but I'm starting to realize it's more often an autobiography. I wouldn't want to read mine either, so I can't blame you.

Ash L.
he/they, 18
I'd do anything to know him better than I know myself.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
He could read this and he'd never think it was about someone like him.

Ash L.
he/they, 18
Small talk bores me. Either trauma dump or fucking touch me, coward.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
When will the stars I've been wishing on finally align?

Ash L.
he/they, 18
If you're reading this, you're probably not who I'm thinking of. Try anyway.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
If I seem disinterested, it's because there's someone else on my mind. I'd like to accept that he's not for me to have, and move on with someone else. That's why I'm here.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
I think I'm a Leo, if that matters to you. Idk what that really means. I'd love to listen to you tell me about astrology or anything else you love to talk about.

Eiji O.
he/him, 20
He's given me the hope to keep going, even if it's not with him by my side. I still wish it could be, though.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
If you're good to me, I'll just end up hurting you. Hurt me first before I have the chance.

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
I've grown as a person since I made this account, and I'd like to keep growing with a special someone by my side.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
I don't mean to lash out so often, and I'd like to get better. I just don't think I can. Ever.

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
If you're willing to read my profile like this, my standards are probably too high for you. I want someone who's WAY out of my league.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
What if the light at the end of the tunnel is a flame, and I've been a moth all along?

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
I'd do anything for The One™️ but I'd still never be good enough for him.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
I'm afraid to let things get better for me, but there's someone out there who makes me want to try anyway.

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
It's not even about me anymore. I just want him to be happy, with or without me.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
If you don't think you'd have to pay to get me to sleep with you, then you're too good for me.

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
I'm sick of pretending. Aslan Jade Callenreese, if you see this, please give me a fucking sign.

Ash L.
he/they, 19
I must be dreaming. Is this happening? I don't want to wake up. Usually even sleep is painful, and this is the first time something hasn't hurt.

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
All I had to do was tell him the truth. I didn't think things like this happened to people like me. I still think he deserves better, but if I'm what he wants, I'd never refuse.

Ash L.
he/they, 20
Consider me #taken. No longer ISO. Closing account soon. Time for a new chapter.

Eiji O.
he/him, 21
The love of your life is not on Tinder; he's in a street gang on the other side of the planet. And, unfortunately, he's blond.

A drawn photo of Ash Lynx from Banana Fish. He is dressed in a button front and vest, similar to his "Christopher Wilson" facade. His hair is long, touching his shoulders, and he's wearing glasses. The photo is taken against a blurred green background, reminiscent of nature. It's professional, much like a headshot for LinkedIn.

A drawn photo of Eiji Okumura from Banana Fish. He is in a track uniform, holding the pole for vaulting. He's sweaty and has a happy expression, and the hand not holding the pole is making a peace sign. He is portrayed against a blurred blue background with bits of white, like a daytime sky with few clouds.

— — —

Shorter W.
he/whatever, 22
Do you think that pair of vaugeposting twinks we all saw on here last year would ever be looking for a third? AshEiji call me.

 

Notes:

I've got more writing I'm working on, both original novels and more bfish, but I'm dealing with what's probably untreated narcolepsy and trying to work a full time job like that, so unfortunately I'm writing MUCH slower than I'm used to being able to. Things like this are still on my mind, but I'm sleeping almost constantly outside of my day job so it's really difficult to write them down. The majority of this was actually written by hand in a notebook while I was on the clock at work and then retyped into digital later. I know it's a bit experimental in terms of the epistolary format, but let me know if you liked it!

 

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