Work Text:
The inn is quiet the next morning. A few people sleeping off hangovers like Solace. The tiefling had rolled off of him in the night and currently had their head firmly under a pillow. Their stomach occasionally rumbles and he wonders if someone should order breakfast soon. The sun is already up and the staircase has a window that faces the morning sun like some kind of sick joke. Maybe he'll throw something at Jaheira and send her down when she wakes up.
Regardless, he is sitting on the floor with a currently bear shaped Halsin beside him; the druid snuggled up and napping with Harold and Scratch. The druid had awoken and gently settled himself on the floor before transforming. The vampire had just smiled and asked the druid to alert him if he needed anything. The bear had simply huffed and settled beside the bed.
“You’re not getting out of walking practice just because you have other forms with legs, Halsin. We like you too much to have you admit defeat after a single day.” The bear grumbles but its eyes are soft. Halsin knows he is cared for. Even if he's still understandably frustrated with the concept of new limitations and the time required to adapt to them.
Shadowheart and Gale walk out of the room when they awaken: promising to send breakfast up as they go to finish an errand. The vampire pays them little attention, but does let the waiter in when he comes bearing delicious smelling food. He pays the man a few extra silver and shoos him on; bringing Solace a bowl of porridge and some fresh fruit. The tiefling glares at him and the oppressive brightness of the room that even the shutters and drapes could not fully block.
He offers to help the tiefling eat, but they wave his hands away, narrowing their eyes at their food like it is an insidious puzzle. Which he supposes, it is to them now.
The tiefling sits cross-legged, a tray across their lap with the porridge and a spoon. Astarion tries very hard to fight the amused smile that crosses his face at the intense focus the paladin displays; but he knows he's failed miserably when Solace's eyes spear into him accusatorially.
“I'll turn around if you need me to.” He offers, smirking at the paladin sticking out their tongue. The tiefling's good humor is brittle and breakable; liable to shatter if pressed. The facade of immediate acceptance of their limitations is cracking. He doesn’t want to break it faster.
“No,” They sigh, mouth scrunched into an amused frown. Their eyes hold frustration and mild anger before they calm and refocus on their meal.
“Just… Don't laugh at me. I think I just realized how inept my left hand is at… everything.”
The paladin's determination is as evident as their vulnerability as they carefully reach forward and pick up the spoon in an awkward grip. They hold the utensil like a toddler would: entire fist around the handle like they intend to shovel the food into their mouth. Astarion folds his hands in his lap to avoid reaching forward and helping them adjust. They would view it as patronizing and demeaning, not helpful.
“How in the ever loving fuck do you hold a spoon…” Solace whispers, trying to adjust their grip and dropping the metal spoon into the porridge. Food splatters slightly; landing on Solace's bare chest and belly. The paladin grumbles and eats what landed on them: sucking their fingers clean and snapping their fingertips together with a sparkle of magic to clean up the rest. At least their magic still works.
They sigh and try again; this time closing their eyes and manipulating their fingers without looking.
“Support the… And thumb goes…” Astarion witnesses his paladin properly hold a spoon left handed for the first time, and he wonders if he could have managed the feat so quickly. Even if the motions are stiff and awkward, Solace brings a spoonful of porridge to their mouth and eats. They smile to themself and swallow another bite. Astarion can’t decide if he is proud or deeply conflicted by the fact that they struggled to feed themself.
When the bowl is empty, they look up at him with a small, fragile smile. He gives them a few small claps, making their smile bigger and their eyes roll.
“Rude. But I didn't say you couldn't patronize me. You didn't laugh, and I appreciate that.” He presses a kiss to their cheek and temple; picking up the tray when they allow him to. He places the tray with the rest of the breakfast and returns to his partner.
“I could never mock you for your efforts, darling. You're delightful and impressive, especially when adapting to something entirely new like this. We'll just have to get that arm trained and it'll be as if you were always left handed.”
Solace snorts and pulls him to the bed with a hand that is unfamiliar to being used in such a way. Astarion is pulled between their legs and encouraged to lay on his stomach so they can play with his hair. He sighs like it is some great burden and rests his cheek on their thigh. It’s calm and quiet, and he is happy.
“I think we should talk about the future soon.” Solace coos, their tone soft but the words create a knot of instant icy terror in his belly.
“I want to stay with you. I want Halsin to stay with us. I think the spawn in the Underdark need us. I don't think Halsin is in a state that enables him to venture down there yet. He can't be in animal form indefinitely.” The paladin speaks reluctantly, gently fingering his curls. The knot of worry loosens as Solace speaks their desire to stay with him; but he knows that some things cannot coexist. Halsin will need more immediate and constant help for the next months as he adjusts to his legs, and if Solace was determined to aid the spawn, it is possible the druid would have to be separated from the two of them.
“We can talk about this in detail and all together later, but I want you to know where my head is at. I want to stay with you both. I think we need to help the spawn adjust to freedom or we will have set loose a horde of blood sucking people with only vengeance and food on the mind.”
As usual; Solace is right. The spawn they released are not simply something that can be left alone. There are thousands of them and six of his siblings that are not as well adjusted as he is; and he is no great paragon of adjusting to freedom. Some of the spawn are centuries unfed. He would not be surprised if a great many of them had gone mad in the cages. He does not want to think about the carnage they have already wrought.
“Little use focusing on that now, darling.” He advises, sitting up and looking at their still haggard expression. Gods. A tenday ago they had been murdered by their father. Four days after that, they had been killed by Gortash. They are down an arm and they are still exhausted from bearing Selûne's boon. Their veins have finally lost the silver glow; but he can tell that the tiefling is tired. Someone should give them a check up soon. Shadowheart or Isobel perhaps. Someone with training and isn’t missing his own legs.
“Go back to sleep, beloved. Halsin is doing the same. We can discuss this later when both of you are awake.” It's a sign of their utter sundering that the paladin doesn't argue and simply allows him to tuck them under the covers. They rest on their belly and press their hand to his chest as they start to drift off.
The vampire spawn sits on the floor beside them and continues to read the alchemy book Gale had given him. He needed to know how to make healing potions for his lovely, interfering paladin.
He has just finished taking notes on how to create a medium strength potion when the wizard and cleric return. He pays them no mind until they ask for his attention; voices low so Solace can continue to sleep.
“Astarion, we have a surprise for you.” Shadowheart says, holding something behind her back. The vampire spawn glances up from his book; raising an eyebrow as he sits back against the bed his partner sleeps on. The wizard and cleric are clearly genuinely excited to give him something, but he is automatically suspicious of a surprise.
“I want you to know, it was Lae’zel’s idea. Don’t look like that. It’s a good thing. I just want you to know who to thank the most.” Gale clarifies. Shadowheart beams as she hands him a wrapped object that must be a framed painting or plaque or something like that. He carefully unwraps the brown paper and takes a long moment to understand what he is looking at.
It is a painting. A portrait. The subject is a smiling, handsome male elf. Sharp pointed ears, pale skin, red eyes. High cheekbones. Sharp jawline. He is a beautiful man. His expression is soft. Warm. He… looks like he is in love. He can see the warmth and fondness in his gaze.
“I… is…”
They said this was Lae’zel’s plot. The githyanki woman is not known for empty gestures or pointless cruelty. This is not a meaningless thing in his hands. It is either incredibly kind or utterly cruel. And Lae’zel has no cause to wish his devastation at this point. So if this isn’t a horrid prank…
“This is… me?” His voice is soft. He doesn’t quite know how to respond to this gift. The face he is looking at. The handsome, pale elf with a softness in his brow and an easy but sincere smile on his lips. This face. This face is his.
“Indeed. We saved a painter a few days ago and Lae’zel said that only one of us can’t see their face. So Gale made your form with a bit of illusion magic, we gave a few pointers on what details had to be highlighted, and Oskar Fevras painted you. We made sure to make your expression what you look like when you look at Solace.”
What he looks like when he looks at Solace. A soft brow and smile to match. Warmth in his red eyes. He looks… happy.
“I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you seems… insufficient.” His voice is a whisper. He doesn't know what feeling is in his chest, but it is warm and writhing and almost pleasant. His eyes sting.
“Pish posh. You deserve to see your face, Astarion. When this is over and I have all the resources, I’ll see what I can do to enchant a mirror for you. From what I understand, most mirrors are made with silver nitrate, so perhaps that is what makes a vampire invisible, given your intolerance for the metal. You can handle steel and iron, so I'm sure I can try and get something working. If all else fails, a duplication spell accomplishes that same thing.”
This is all so much. He knows he is a moment from crying. Shadowheart seems to notice as well, pulling the wizard away with a gentle hand. He appreciates it. His head is spinning and he feels like he is going to weep from joy.
He sits on the ground beside his partners’ sleeping forms and stares at the gift in his hands. He is enraptured by the expression on his face.
His face.
He is looking at his face.
Tears slip down his cheeks as he drinks in the kindness in his hands. Even if this is a rendition of his face through another's eyes, this is more than he has had in two hundred years. This is his face.
He can see what all the fuss was about now. He is very pretty.
He isn't sure how long he stares at the painting, but he is pulled from his thoughts by a groan from behind him. He knew those sounds. Solace was rousing and soon to wake up.
They are splayed out on their stomach, completely unbothered, almost snoring, their forked tongue sticking out from between their teeth. Gods they’re beautiful. He could stare at them for days and never get bored, but he has a new piece of art to appreciate.
He stares at the painting again; transfixed by the details. The curls of his hair. The smile lines around his mouth. The barely noticeable crows feet at his eyes. A young man who smiles often and his face allows the marks of joy to show.
“What you got there, darling?” Solace’s groggy tone drifts into his ears, the tiefling rousing and now laying on their side.
“I… our friends got me a portrait. Of… me. Lae’zel’s idea.”
Solace is as impressed and appreciative as he is, and they study the painting with a critical eye. They offer to tell him what is most accurate and what they see as inaccurate. He has never been more excited to hear someone talk about his face. The paladin describes his features and brushes their fingertips over his skin with gentle reverence. They speak of him like he is a work of art that defies reproduction.
He is inclined to agree.
“I don’t think he did justice to your brow. You have such an expressive face. He made the shadows flatten your features. But aside from that, this is a passable recreation.”
He’ll take it and hope for Gale to find a solution for vampiric limitations.
Halsin eventually agrees to shift back into his elven form and practice with his legs; with much grumbling and frustration but marked improvement. Shadowheart and Jaheira make a point of guiding the stubborn elf through proper cane use and remind him to be the patient he would want to care for.
Halsin is a wonderful and kind person, but he is a terrible patient. The bright side is that he knows that and is trying to be better.
When night falls and Halsin has walked the distance he needs to, Solace’s gaze is heavy with the truth. Halsin is too injured to even consider bringing him along to help the spawn in the Underdark. The paladin does not want to be the one to say it. Astarion does not want to break the druid’s heart either. He already worries he is a burden on them.
The trio sit together beside the fire; Solace laying across both their laps and enjoying the calf massage Halsin gives them. It is calm and serene. It’s nice, save for the subtle tension of three people who need to talk but are not sure how to.
“Jaheira has news of the refugees.” Halsin begins; eyes unable to meet either of theirs. Something writhes in Astarion’s chest at the leashed hope in the druid’s tone. He wants Solace and him to follow him somewhere that he will make a home for the refugees.
“Nine wagons full of orphaned children by the last count. Prepared to set out for Thaniel and Oliver’s lands. I… wish to join them.” The druid is not asking for permission, but neither is he saying that they should join him. The druid chooses his words carefully.
“I… would offer the chance to join us. It is going to be a great deal of work and we would benefit from the both of you, but I understand if community building is not how you expect to spend the next while.”
“Funny thing about that,” Solace rebuts stiffly; wriggling off their laps and sitting up with a mild groan of an ache that does not seem to want to go away.
“I was actually thinking that the spawn will need someone to lead them. Otherwise, well, we irresponsibly released seven thousand traumatized vampires without any intention of helping them adjust to freedom.” Solace grimaces and looks at Halsin; soft expression seeking his understanding. To Astarion’s surprise, Halsin laughs more genuinely than he has in the last few days.
“Of course. I had forgotten about them in the insanity of the last few tendays. Yes. They will need immense aid.” The druid’s expression falls as he glances at his legs; the prosthetics set aside and already decorated with blooming wildflowers. He still wasn’t able to stand up from the ground without aid.
“I… would not be safe to go with you, I think. I would do so in a heartbeat, but in my current state… You both must do as you know you must. I support your decision, for it is wise and sound.”
Astarion takes the elf’s hand in his and gently kisses the man’s knuckles. The druid smiles and is clearly holding back tears.
“You are allowed to want us to stay, Halsin.” He tells the massive elf, holding his gaze until the druid cannot do so any longer and has to wipe away tears. The druid sighs and lets the tears fall; beckoning Solace into his arms without a word. The paladin straddles the man without hesitation; sitting between his legs and resting their head on his shoulder. For a long moment; the trio of lovers simply embrace and let themselves feel the others’ touch.
“I want you to join me.” The druid finally admits, speaking as though it is a dirty secret and a blasphemous one at that.
“I do not wish to be apart from you. To have had you both for so short a time and then to just as quickly lose you… it seems a cruelty. One I do not believe I deserve.” Astarion smiles into Halsin’s shoulder. It’s still very strange to feel proud of the druid for being honest with himself; but at the same time, it is comforting to know that even the kindly Halsin struggles to let himself feel.
“You deserve to be with the people you love, Halsin.” Solace affirms, trying to wrap the elf up in a single armed embrace. Halsin curls around the slightly smaller tiefling, carefully avoiding their horns. His touch is tremulous and desperate; the hold of a man who knows he needs what he will soon be without.
“The distance may be daunting, but we will not be separate forever. We can set our people up and rejoin our loved ones. And I can teleport with the cane Wyll and Gale gave me. It won’t be the end of us. I don’t want it to be the end of us.” Solace continues, kind and genuine. Their soft eyes look at their vampire and he nods in agreement.
“They’re right, dear druid. This is not the end for us. We will just be living in different places for a while. Taking care of those who need us most and never once forgetting where our hearts reside. Or how we might help from a distance.” The vampire leans into the druid’s side and nuzzles his cheek into his beefy arms. The druid’s breath catches and he pulls Astarion into the embrace properly; kissing the top of his curly haired head.
“It will not be the end.” Halsin repeats, quietly joyous. Astarion feels something like ice stab into his chest; the druid had been terrified he was going to be forgotten and abandoned. He needed to hear his partners say he will be loved regardless and that they will return to him.
“Thank you.” The druid breathes, shaking and emotional. Astarion can smell the salt of his tears. He looks up and sees a man weeping in joy and terror; he wants to make the fear go away. The vampire twists in the druid’s grasp and presses gentle kisses to Halsin’s flushed skin, hoping to chase away some of his worry.
“I love you, Halsin. I… want you with us, but I don’t think you’re ready for the Underdark with your prosthetics. I know I can’t stop you, and I would love to have you with us, but I would not be able to stop thinking about what might happen if you fell at the wrong time.” Solace apologizes, perhaps a little presumptuous. Their tail flicks in discomfort as they try to explain their worries.
“Not that you’re weak or a liability or anything like that! I know you’re incredibly capable and strong, I just… the legs are so new and the Underdark has so many ravines and hazards… I’m sorry. I probably sound like I think you’re never going to get better at walking again. I want to be clear I’m thinking in the very short term. I want you to come help us in the Underdark if you want to. But-”
“When I am more practiced, I understand, Solace. Please breathe.” The druid chuckles, kissing Solace’s tense brow. The tiefling exhales heavily and deflates against the druid, left hand finding Astarion’s and squeezing.
“I’m still not sure if Solace should go.” Astarion admits, raising an eyebrow at Solace’s confusion. It felt like a natural hesitation given everything going on.
“Darling, you have only your weakest arm, and are quite literally burnt out from Selûne’s boon. If you don’t have reservations about going into the Underdark to wrangle seven thousand spawn and my siblings, I think you need to listen to your own lectures regarding taking things slowly. The only reason I’m not firmly against it is because I know you’re better at logistics than I am.” Solace looks both affronted and appeased; their lips frowning but their eyes soft with understanding.
The night continues on like this; discussing the near future with arms around each other. Halsin asks permission to try fixing the lasting damage Selûne’s power had caused; golden green light shimmering through the paladin and allowing their heart to beat steadier. Astarion can hear it in their lungs as well; the deeply satisfied inhalation of someone who hadn’t noticed they had been struggling for air. The three of them rest in front of the fire; Solace falling asleep and Halsin slipping into meditation soon after. Astarion simply looks at them for a while; wondering what exactly he did right to have this.
Maybe one day he will learn not to question a good thing. He just needs to enjoy it for now.