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At the knock on the door, Mulder opens it and while he knows it can’t be Scully, some stubborn part of him hopes it’s her anyway. Instead, it’s Diana’s face greeting him, her expression unreadable, and all he feels is the weight of disillusionment on his shoulders.
“Diana, hi,” he says, trying to sound surprised rather than disappointed.
“Fox.” She smiles at him and he remembers a time when her happiness meant the world to him.
“Is there anything you need?” Urgency slips into his voice; he’s on his way out and he doesn’t want to be late.
“Are you in a hurry? Relax, Fox. No one is chasing you.” She chuckles, but Mulder doesn’t see the humor in it. “I brought gifts.” She motions to the folder and the bottle of wine in her hand. Mulder cringes.
“I don’t-”
“Won’t you invite me in?” She cuts into his hesitation, trying to squeeze past him. She’s never been good at reading his body language.
“I can’t, Diana. I have somewhere to be.” That stops her. She stares at him, trying to find clues as to what his plans are on his face. Her lips pull into a grimace.
“You’re seeing Agent Scully?” Their dislike for each other is mutual, at least.
“I am.” Why should he lie about that? Diana licks her lip, a clear sign that she’s trying to come up with a plan B. Watching her, reading her like an old book from childhood that once brought him comfort but that he’s grown out of, he sees what Scully must be seeing every time Diana interferes with them.
He doesn’t doubt that Diana’s feelings for him are genuine; they’re old friends. But now he sees that there’s more. That she wants more. From him, and from this situation. He doesn’t want to question the why. He’s not going to risk losing her as a friend.
“A shame what happened.”
“Agent Ritter almost got her killed.” And in turn, Mulder almost lost his mind. He was that close to beating up the younger agent. A voice inside his mind that sounded suspiciously like Scully stopped him. He let the guy walk out of the hospital and went to see Scully.
He stayed as long as they would allow. Despite his begging, the nurses wouldn’t let him stay in Scully’s hospital room overnight.
Today, they’re letting her go home – under the condition that someone picks her up and stays with her for at least one night. Mulder had jumped at the chance.
“He’s young,” Diana says, glancing at her fingernails – neatly trimmed, with French tips. Some things simply never change. “He reminds me of you, you know. You were like that once.”
“I wasn’t. I never would have-” But he has endangered other people. Hell, he’s put Scully in danger time and again. “I just hope he stays away from Scully in the future,” he finishes.
“Be careful, Agent Mulder, or people will draw the wrong conclusions about your relationship to Agent Scully.”
“I don’t care what anyone else thinks, Diana.” She nods; she of all people should know that.
“Agent Scully might.”
“Diana,” he says, exasperated. “Just say what you want. I have plans.”
“When will you be back? I can wait here for you. You probably haven’t changed much in the apartment, have you?”
“I won’t be back anytime soon,” Mulder says, glancing at his watch. If he can’t get rid of Diana any time soon, he’ll be late. He doesn’t want to be late. Scully deserves better than that.
“I don’t mind. 10 p.m.? Midnight?” She’s not giving up.
“I won’t be home at all tonight, Diana.” His voice is soft, but he sees the impact on Diana’s face. “I’m staying with Scully.”
“Oh. It’s like that.” He doesn’t correct her. He doesn’t care what she thinks. He doesn’t want to hurt Diana; whatever Scully might think her motives are, Mulder still trusts her. But all he wants is a friendship and he sees – more clearly than ever now – that Diana is not there yet. She wants more and he can’t give it to her. He is not in that place anymore. Everything inside him wants Scully. Now, and in the future.
“It’s like that,” he confirms. No matter what his and Scully’s official status is, she is it for him. His heart is taken. So is his time. Another glance at his watch and he steps through the door, locking it behind him.
“I’m sorry, Diana. Maybe another time. Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?” She shakes her head.
“I’ll take a cab.” She hands Mulder the wine. “Take that with you.” He stares at the bottle. While Scully loves red wine – way more than he does, too – she’s not allowed to have any for a while. Not with her medication. He’s slipping into caretaker mode; he knows Scully would do the same for him if the roles were reserved. They have been often enough.
“See you, Diana,” he says and waves at her. He leaves her standing there and he knows she watches him leave, but there’s nothing he can do. Or want to do. Scully is expecting him and by her side is the only place he wants to be.