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Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t really like cats or coffee. The universe works in mysterious ways, most of the time against him, of course, so here he is, working in a Cat Café, pondering how many times he can bang his head on the counter until he passes out. His best bet is ten times. Six if he tries hard enough. Three if he manages to hit the corner of it just right.
Yoo Joonghyuk sighed as he adjusted his cat-themed apron, the fabric decorated with vibrant felines that seemed to mock him. “How did I end up here,” he muttered, watching a cat paw at the coffee beans with an unnerving intensity.
As a college student, he thought he’d be knee-deep in textbooks, not knee-deep in fur. The Cat Café was supposed to be a part-time gig, an easy way to earn a few bucks. Little did he know that the universe had other plans, and those plans involved a lot of surprisingly judgmental meows.
When the last customer leaves, he has a little moment to think that maybe, just maybe, he is being a little too dramatic. Working here can’t possibly be worse than going to a hospital due to a head injury, right? But then a teenage girl appears in front of him saying coffee never gets old, just like my love for you and his left eye starts to twitch and he dies inside just a little.
Yoo Joonghyuk hates his job. Every morning he wakes up feeling refreshed ready to go to work, however, by the time he clocks out, he leaves regretting all his life choices that brought him upon this moment and with his will to live a little less stronger than before. It’s like the place which was supposed to be, in Namgung Minyoung words, “cozy” and “relaxing”, turned into a hellspawn where every damned creature enters to suck all the happiness out of you.
The problem isn’t the work but the people. There are only so many times a poor employee can fake a smile before finally losing his mind. He swears the next time someone tries to flirt with him, keyword tries, he will start contemplating the idea of homicide—either against a customer or himself. Both options sounded equally appealing, especially if it meant bringing down the café's property value.
The other issue here is the cats. Naturally, when he first came here as a poor unassuming soul, Yoo Joonghyuk thought these animals would just ignore his presence the way cats usually behave and both of them would just go on with their lives, with Yoo Joonghyuk trying not to strangle the customers and the cats doing whatever cats do.
But according to his sister, cats have a sixth sense for finding those who want nothing to do with them. Great. Why? Who knows, he’s given up on trying to understand the wonders of a perturbed mind. By the end of his first shift, four of the five resident cats had decided to turn his life into a living nightmare. The next day, the fifth joined the ranks of furry tormentors, and he realized evil truly does prevail.
You see, the creatures here, which Yoo Joonghyuk lovingly named Hellspawn 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, are pure and indubitably evil. Not a drop of mercifulness in their dark, dark hearts.
Hellspawn 1, a gray cat, thinks it’s okay to follow him everywhere. And everywhere means everywhere. Making coffee? There. Standing at the counter? There. Trying to use the restroom? Yep, you guessed it—there. He couldn’t even walk without checking to see if he was about to trip over the little demon. Last week, he woke up in a cold sweat, convinced he had seen a cat silhouette in his window. This is like a horror movie but the monster is this horrible fluffy thing.
Hellspawn 2, a black one, is, by far, the most terrifying because he doesn’t do anything except stare at him for hours. It would not be as unnerving if he did it with anyone else, but no, it’s just Yoo Joonghyuk. He wasn’t sure what was worse—having someone watch him work or having a cat do it. Lee Jihye, another poor slave of this establishment, says it’s the way he shows love, which he doubts, Yoo Joonghyuk suspects it is plotting his demise. He’s pretty sure that in no time the creature will suck his soul and he will be found dead the next day.
Hellspawn 3, a calico one, is the most annoying being that has ever walked on this earth, because she is a talker. A loud one. A really loud one. She keeps meowing around him, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of his shift. If he goes home and closes his eyes, Yoo Joonghyuk starts to hallucinate the meows in his room. Which is kinda worrying and very telling of how his mental health currently is faring.
Hellspawn 4, an orange cat, likes to bring gifts. The gifts being, of course, another little animal, his victims just as much as he is. Last week was a lizard, the one before that was a squirrel and the one before that a rabbit. A fucking rabbit. How did the cat even find a rabbit in the city? He doesn’t want to know. Today was a dove, which he released very quickly and saw it fly away, feeling like crying, because he too, would like to run away from this purgatory.
Hellspawn 5, the white kitten, was the best of the bunch, which was like saying being shot is better than having a broken bone. She is just clingy, always asking for pets and to be carried. These days she likes to sleep on top of his head, which is humiliating and ridiculous, but he is far too tired to care about it anymore. Everytime a customer looks at him and tries to hold back their laughter, he just wants to go home. Really. That’s all he wants.
He supposes it could be worse though. Namgung Minyoung, after seeing how he broke a cup from sheer force alone during one of his afternoon shifts where a customer kept asking for “cold hot chocolate”, transferred him to the morning shift, starting at 6 a.m., which was still living hell, but a better one, because there are definitely less people.
That was until, on a rainy day, close to 7:30 a.m., a single customer entered this place and Yoo Joonghyuk had never felt peace since. You see, that day was a good one, which is saying something. Yoo Joonghyuk was having a very insistent argument with Hellspawn 3, which was mostly her meowing and trying to climb his pants while he says shut up, when the guy, that now he has the knowledge that is a malevolent entity, walked in absolutely looking like a lost drowned rat.
When the guy finally makes his way to the register, Yoo Joonghyuk tries his best to put a smile on his face, and says the typical, “Good morning, welcome to The Cat's Meow. What can I get for you?” Saying the name of the place is always painful. He can only hope it doesn’t show in his expression.
“Good morning,” the guy started, not even trying to pretend to not stare at the cat on top of his head, looking progressively more amused. After a few seconds, he looked him dead in the eyes, and before Yoo Joonghyuk could make the connection that it was the same exact way Namgung Minyoung would look at him before making an absurd request, he said, without stopping, “Venti extra hot latte with 12 shots of espresso, 10 sugars but do not stir it, 8 pumps of vanilla, a splash of milk, chocolate powder, cinnamon powder, and a dash of nutmeg powder, with a single ice cube—dropped from a height of exactly 12 inches.”
Yoo Joonghyuk just looked at him blankly, waiting for the guy to say it’s a joke. They stared at each other for approximately five seconds, no change in his expression, signaling that it was, in fact, not a joke.
Then, a lot of things pass through his mind, in this order: What the fuck? This guy is a menace. Is 12 shots even legal? Why 12 inches? What’s wrong with people? I want to die. And most importantly: I want to go home. It wasn’t even 8 a.m. However, no matter how he sees it, there is just one thing that matters here.
He took a deep breath, looked up to the ceiling ignoring the meow from the annoyed cat on top of his head, pinched the bridge of his nose and after letting out a particularly heavy sigh, asked the burning question. “Why.”
Namgung Minyoung would have shot him a disapproving glare and probably slapped him for being rude, but honestly? He couldn’t care less.
The guy just shrugged, a smile creeping across his face. “I was feeling like it.” Really, what kind of monster just “feels like it” and orders a caffeinated monstrosity like that? He seemed way too satisfied with his excuse and plopped down at one of the tables near the exit.
“Name?” He asks, and if his voice sounded pained, it’s because he is, in fact, in tremendous pain.
“I will take pity on you and say my real one instead of something like Peter Parker.” The demon says, smiling, and Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t know if he should be relieved or just angry. “It’s Kim Dokja.”
Given that he was the only one working today, he decided to throw his work ethic out the window and misspell Kim Dokja's name on purpose. Kin Dokuja. Yes, his magnum opus. Fulfillment washed over him, and he couldn’t decide if he felt proud or just plain pathetic.
Unfortunately, the customer is always right, so Yoo Joonghyuk begrudgingly moved to create this abomination of a drink. Hellspawn 3 sat in eerie silence, and he assumed the new arrival was some kind of powerful demon scaring her senseless. Hellspawn 1, as always, was busy trying to climb his legs like a feline ninja.
He felt a burning gaze and figured it was just Hellspawn 2 giving him the judgmental stink-eye. Honestly, he was getting used to this madness. He might need to see a therapist soon, but what would he even say? “I work with a bunch of demons determined to ruin my life”? Yeah, that’d go over well.
When it’s done, he calls Kim Dokja’s name and waits for the man to get up and get his coffee, even though they are alone here because he is that petty.
Kim Dokja picks up his cup and instead of looking annoyed at the name, the bastard smiles. Smiles. Yoo Joonghyuk never felt more defeated in his life, all his work for nothing. “You know, this place is pretty comfy. I’ll be back,” Kim Dokja said with a grin.
“Please don’t.” He isn’t one to use words like please lightly, but right now he is desperate. One more drink like this and he will cut off his own hands himself.
Kim Dokja’s smile widened. Demon. “See you tomorrow, Yoo Joonghyuk.”
Something inside him breaks. Tomorrow. He is not paid enough for this, all reason be damned. As the guy turns around to leave through the door, Yoo Joonghyuk starts to roll up the sleeves of his shirt, ready to fight. “If you come tomorrow I swear to God I will ki–”
The door swung shut just as Hellspawn 4 strutted in, drenched and proudly flaunting a mouse in his mouth. He glanced at the cat glaring from the counter, which simply meowed as if to say, you’re screwed.
“I am indeed,” Yoo Joonghyuk muttered, running a hand through his hair. Then it hit him—he’d just imagined the cat talking and answered it.
Great. He was officially losing his mind.