Work Text:
Unfun Red was back with his list, which he spent hours working on, he was just in his office typing away. As he does, ruining the 100ths fun for the millionth time.
He would post it just outside the mess because maybe it would get their little pea brains attention.
He just hopes that someone won't set this one on fire like his previous lists.
Lets go over them shall we.
Number one: No you can't not make your uniform "slutty." It's already working just fine, put down the sissors.
Number two: Putting a basketball under your uniform isn't a costume, you are not funny.
Number three: Buck please don't dress up this year, you're terrible at it, last year you dressed up as a ceiling fan so I know how bad it's gonna be.
Number four: No trick or treating around the village. How old are you? Please don't terrorize the people in the village for candy.
Number five: No you can't put Halloween decorations on or in your B-17.
Additionally: Fake blood is also a no, you aren't slick Brady.
Number six: Whoever spikes the punch at the Halloween party you'll be found, and have to pay for the damage caused by your idiot friends.
Number seven: No you can't use your B-17 to give out candy, it's not safe.
Number eight: Whoever put the giraffe headband on Winks, it's funny, good one but it's not in dress code.
Additionally: This applies to Kidd as well.
Number nine: DeMarco get your pink dog away from everything, his fur is dying everything pink.
Number ten: I know it's funny to switch hair colors, but please return to your natural hair color. Bucky you can't pull off blonde, Buck you look like your going through a crisis, and Hambone your fine I guess. But people keep mistaking you for Bucky so please go back to blond.
Additionally: This also applies to Blakely, please cut your hair and not have it be blond. You look ridiculous.
Number eleven: Curt wherever you got the antlers please return them, it's not in a dress code.
Additionally: This applies to you as well Dickie with your ram horns.
Number twelve: Appropriate costumes only, Bubbles makes them through out the year with his sewing machine, put your request in early.
Additionally: Except you Buck, you suck at dressing yourself.
Number thirteen: Don't even bother entering the costume contest, because Hambone will beat you.
Number fourteen: Yes the crew costume contest is still happening, but again don't bother entering because Bradys crew will definitely win.
Number fifteen: No seances, no ouija boards, no reading out of questionable books, capeesh Bucky?
Additionally: Buck please watch him, he's your responsibility. You know what happened last year.
Number sixteen: There's no such thing as ghosts, please don't traumatize the replacements.
Number seventeen: Scaring replacements is not funny, don't do it.
Number eighteen: Smokey we love the creativity with the zombie pilot costume, but you are activity traumatizing your patients.
Number nineteen: Stormy the wearable storm cloud is creative, but still it's not in dress code.
Number twenty: Wearing each others uniform is not a costume, this is mostly directed to the Bucks.
Number twenty one: There isn't a couples costume contest, because you guys aren't supposed to be molesting each other like that. So please stop asking, Bubbles I don't care that you planned this with Crosby months in advance not happening.
Number twenty two: Blakely stealing the nurses outfit is one not in dress code and two not a costume.
Number twenty three: Quinn, Bailey, and Babyface I love your thinking. But I really do think dressing up as the iceberg, a lifeboat, and the Titanic itself is slightly offensive. So please don't go outside.
Number twenty four: You can't wear cat ears on a mission.
Additionally: I don't care that it makes the German fighter pilot question what's wrong with you? I said no.
Number twenty five: You can't switch jobs either, so Bucky stop trying to be a navigator, and Bubbles stop trying to be apart of grounds crew. I don't care that you managed to change a lightbulb by yourself, the answer is still no.
Number twenty six: Whoever managed to changed all the lightbulbs on base to these purple ones, I'm honestly impressed. But like why?
Number twenty seven: The candy limit this year is twenty pieces, I don't wanna deal with you guys high on sugar.
Number twenty eight: Painting yourself a funky color is also not dress code, so please don't.
Additionally: No I'm not afraid of blue Bucky, he just surprised me.
Number twenty nine: Biting people is prohibited, Hambone.
Number thirty: Trick or treating around the base will start at 19:30, please only take a couple pieces. We don't want a repeat of last year.