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Jing Yuan can feel his heart break all over again. Once more he can only watch his dear friends tear each other apart. Once more he is standing aside, a witness again. He is not apart of this. Again. Again, he can only fail.
He wakes to the feeling of wetness dripping down his face and is momentarily confused to where and when he fell asleep. This situation isn’t unusual in and of itself, what is unusual are the calloused fingers wiping away tears. His eyes focus to see equally wet teal eyes staring back at him. “Dan Heng?” Jing Yuan asks, brain still trying to wake.
“You were crying in your sleep,” comes the soft reply. “It hurts me to know you are still pained even in dreams.” That does something funny to his heart and he lets out a shuddering sigh, eyes slipping close once more. Dan Heng is too kind. It always manages to surprise Jing Yuan just how kind Dan Heng is when he grew up with nothing but darkness and scorn for his mere existence. And just how lucky he is that Dan Heng has decided to share his kindness with him, that he has given his heart to Jing Yuan.
“Thank you, Dan Heng,” Jing Yuan murmurs, eyes opening once more and looking at Dan Heng look back at him steadily, feeling more than seeing those worn fingers stroking his cheek.
“Of course.”
Somethings must be inherent. That is the only explanation for Dan Heng.
If one only knew Dan Heng by who he was supposed to be, they would be hard pressed to explain the person in front of Jing Yuan right now. Kneeling and toying with an end of his jacket, Dan Heng is playing with a cat who leaps after the flickering fabric. Jing Yuan stands a little ways away simply observing, unwilling to interrupt such a moment. Eventually though he’s caught. Teal eyes snap to him and everything comes to a stop. Dan Heng shoos the cat away from where he plans to step before he stands and walks over to Jing Yuan.
“What a shame you shooed it away, that was a rather cute cat,” Jing Yuan sighs in faux disappointment when Dan Heng comes to a stop beside him. Dan Heng’s eyes slide away to where the cat disappeared into an alley before turning back to look at him,
“It only approached me because it was hungry, so I fed it some dried fish I had leftover from our last trip. It wouldn’t leave me alone after that,” Dan Heng explains, a slight blush peppering his face. “Anyway, you’re finally here.” Jing Yuan smiles sheepishly.
“Ah, the meeting ran late, I apologize for not letting you know.” Dan Heng shakes his head and when he looks back up at Jing Yuan the sun catches his eyes just right that it illuminates them, the trust and purity shining clear. Dan Heng is always so gorgeous, it never fails to take Jing Yuan’s breath away.
“Are you alright?” he asks. Never does he ask “is everything alright?”, it’s always “you”. Jing Yuan nods firmly.
“Yes, thankfully just daily inconveniences. Shall we go now? I wouldn’t want to keep us from lunch any longer, I’m starving,” Jing Yuan complains, nudging Dan Heng playfully. Dan Heng takes him seriously, he always does when it comes to Jing Yuan’s needs and so Dan Heng gently grabs his hand with no hesitation and begins to walk towards their agreed upon lunch spot, eyes occasionally flicking back to him. Jing Yuan holds on tightly.
For much of his life, Dan Heng spent his time in a cell, victim to countless jeers and petty abuses, Jing Yuan is sure. Where he learned such gentleness, how he could love and care so much, it must simply be who Dan Heng is. Jing Yuan won’t delude himself into believing he had a hand in the way Dan Heng turned out, but he thinks that if he’s only ever done one good thing in his life, it was letting Dan Heng go.
The first time he met Dan Heng those teal eyes, familiar but not, were bright and cutting. Jing Yuan was sure that they reflected hate. Still, Jing Yuan had simply smiled and let him go into the galaxies beyond the Luofu. Now, Jing Yuan knows that is just how Dan Heng looks when he stares at Jing Yuan. It is not hate in those clear waters, but some mix of awe, affection, and understanding. That’s how he finds Dan Heng now, face pointed towards the sun, but those eyes on him the moment Jing Yuan takes a step into his garden. He’s always loved the sun, and he quite enjoys spending time with Jing Yuan in his backyard. He’s in his Vidyadhara form, as he tends to be when sunbathing, Jing Yuan doesn’t take that trust for granted.
“Hello,” Jing Yuan calls out teasingly. The corner of Dan Heng’s lip twitches minutely as fully turns his head to properly look at Jing Yuan. A cold tail comes to wrap around Jing Yuan’s leg not so subtly pulling to him sit.
“Hello,” Dan Heng replies. Jing Yuan pauses only for a moment before he’s leaning in and capturing Dan Heng’s lips with his own. Dan Heng’s lips are always warm, and that’s yet another oddity Jing Yuan has yet to figure out. Dan Heng eventually pulls back just a bit, eyes flickering over Jing Yuan’s face with such intensity that if he wasn’t used to it by now he’s sure he would be blushing. Dan Heng is always looking. At him, at the sun, at whatever catches his interest. He’s so deeply curious and attentive, anything he’s focused has all of his attention. It’s a disposition that makes him perfect for his job as archivist, but it also makes him hyper-attuned to those around him. Dan Heng always knows what Jing Yuan is feeling without him having to say anything and knows what Jing Yuan needs before he himself does. Dan Heng comes off aloof and cold, and may even insist so, but just below that thin veneer is a heart that hurts in time with yours.
Jing Yuan can’t help himself, he reaches up and caresses Dan Heng’s cheek, feeling warmth bleed from skin to skin. Dan Heng immediately nuzzles into the hold and presses his hand over Jing Yuan’s to keep him there, “Are you alright?” Dan Heng asks. He always knows.
“Mm, better now,” Jing Yuan whispers back, sliding his hand back with ease. Dan Heng stares for a couple more seconds before blinking and moving his face back to a more comfortable distance. His tail slides up to wrap around Jing Yuan’s waist, pulling him closer. He breaks eye contact only to ensure he grabs hold of Jing Yuan’s hand once more before looking back at Jing Yuan with rapt attention.
“Tell me about your day.”
Dan Heng loves wholly. There are no half measures in anything he does. Not in protecting, not in archiving, not even in something as mundane as this. Dan Heng has nothing but himself to give, and that is more than Jing Yuan could ever ask for.