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Everyone stood in stunned silence for at least a minute, the only sounds being Jim's muffled sobs as he cried into Claire's shoulder. The shadow witch was also silently crying, and tears were in most people's eyes.
Douxie's wet eyes were for a different reason. Of course, he was mourning for Toby, but he hadn't known the kid long outside of working together to deal with this threat. The whole team along the way had become somewhat of a family, even if they never got a chance to bond much, so the loss still hurt but… this was only one of so many losses he'd had to endure for the past year. He was exhausted.
The fight was finally over.
He could afford to grieve now, at the very least, he was out of energy to shove the grief away as he'd done for the past year. It caught up to him now. He realised just how many people he'd lost; Toby, Archie, Nari, Morgana, Merlin. Almost everyone he'd cared about, ever loved, ever seen as family was now gone.
What was he supposed to do now? With Merlin gone - oh god, Merlin's gone, his father is gone and it's been a year - he had no one he had to wait to wake up, with Nari gone, he had no one left to protect. He was the freest he'd ever been but Archie was gone too. He had no purpose anymore. He had no one. He'd lost… everything.
He finally became a Master Wizard, finally earned his staff, his father's respect and pride, saved the world… but lost his world. Was it all worth it?
"Douxie," Claire whispered, voice hoarse as it carried over the gentle breeze. "What do we do now?"
He looked up. Suddenly everyone was staring at him. The Akiridions, the trolls, the humans, all turning to him. He wasn't ready for this. He was still supposed to have someone to look to himself. Merlin, Archie, even Morgana. But now he was in charge. No chance of getting Jim to lead; the poor kid was in shambles. It was up to Douxie.
Guess the grief is getting shoved away anyway.
Maybe this was his new purpose. To lead, stop others from losing everything because he himself had lost it all. He'd do it just because there was no other option.
"We need to take care of the remains," he began, and soon enough, he'd issued orders and got in touch with Zoe to recruit the hedge witches and wizards to help. He lost himself to it, letting it overtake his grief, giving others purpose for the same reason. They would mourn, but not yet. If they mourned now, they'd never be able to get it back together, so better to have something to do and get rid of all the jobs to do before letting the grief in.
Soon enough, the group had split. Everyone had gone to do their respective parts. Some were recruiting others, getting the evacuated people back, figuring out a way to clean up the huge, volcanic figure in the middle of their town. There were plenty of jobs. Lots to be done. And yet, throughout it all, Jim had stayed on the floor beside Toby, head bowed.
Douxie had been avoiding looking at the Trollhunter. He knew firsthand what grief could do to a person, especially when you lost a person that close to you. Douxie had lived long enough, and lost enough people to be very familiar with grief by now.
Jim had become like a younger brother to Douxie by now. He was so similar to the wizard in some ways that it hurt. The premature burdens, the being forced into such big responsibilities. The pressure. The fear. The repressing emotions for other's benefits.
He hated that they were so similar. He hated that he understood what Jim was feeling, and hated that Jim was feeling what he had in the first place. An endless cycle of… this curse. The curse of power, greatness, opportunity, heroism, whatever you wanted to call it. It was still a curse.
Douxie walked over to Jim. Sat down next to the younger teen. Neither said anything - nothing could be said.
The wizard looked over at the Trollhunter's face, expressionless and numb by now, wet eyes staring vacantly at the remains of the truck and his best friend's hand.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Jim whispered, so quiet that Douxie almost didn't hear it.
"I know," Douxie said quietly.
"We won." Jim paused, finally looking at Douxie with pain-filled eyes. "We won, Douxie." Jim's voice broke at the older teen's name, but he didn't need to say anything more. Douxie knew everything that was left unsaid.
He knew.
Why does it feel like we didn't? But at what cost? Did we have to lose him for it to happen? Did we really win? Is this what winning is? What is feels like? Is this what it takes to win? Was it worth it? Was it worth this? It should have been me. Why wasn't it me? Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad to… lose…
"Oh, Jim," Douxie murmured, pulling the younger boy - because that's all he was, a boy, even after everything - into a tight hug as Jim's tears started again in full. All Douxie could do was hold on to him as he shook, falling apart in the wizard's arms as his world - both their worlds - came crashing down around them.
"People like you and me," Douxie started, struggling to find the right words. "This… this is just the way it is for us. We devote everything to save everyone and everything, but," - Douxie let out a shaky breath - "we always end up losing everyone and everything that really mattered in the end."
Jim curled up tighter in Douxie's arms. "It's not fair," he gasped out in between sobs, and Douxie squeezed his eyes shut, forcing out a tear of his own.
"I know," he whispered, resting his head on top of Jim's, trying his best to shield his younger brother from the cruelties of the world.
"It never is."