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"Now Beetlejuice and Lydia, please follow the schedule I made for the baby." Said Delia as she and Charles got ready to leave. "There are plenty of bottles in the refrigerator, all you have to do is put them in the bottle warmer. She's just been fed, changed, and had her nap so she should be no trouble. Isn't that right, my precious Crystal?" Delia crooned. "We will be fine. Now go! A lovely evening awaits you." Beetlejuice replied. "See you in a couple of hours. Now, Delia, we must really be off." Charles said, ushering his wife to the door.
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"Beetlejuice, you might want to stop bouncing Crystal on your knee." Lydia said a few moments later. "Why? She likes it." Beetlejuice replied. "Because she's just had a bottle of milk and bouncing her like that can lead to-" Lydia didn't get to finish as at that moment the baby threw up all over herself and Beetlejuice. "That." Finished Lydia. "I'll get her cleaned up." She sighed, taking the baby from Beetlejuice. "Go clean yourself up and meet me upstairs in the nursery." Beetlejuice did as he was told.
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"Now, let's pick you out a nice cozy sleeper so you'll be all ready for bed when Mommy and Daddy get home." Lydia crooned. "Why do human babies need so much stuff? I mean, you give the kid their own room and fill it with stuff you only need for a short amount of time. What is all this for anyways?" Beetlejuice asked. "Well, that's the crib, and this is the changing table, that is the rocking chair, and then there's a bureau, bookshelf, toybox, closet, and rocking horse. All necessary according to Delia." Lydia said. Actually, Delia had more stuff in the master bedroom and some things stored in the basement. Charles found it hard to understand exactly what some of those things were and why they were needed. Lydia never even had half of this stuff and she had turned out fine. "Get with the times, Charles. Babies need more things now than they did sixteen years ago. Now where did that snoo go?" Delia had asked. Lydia finished dressing Crystal and all three went downstairs.
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"Ya know, I could bring out my clones. They would love to play with the baby." Offered Beetlejuice. "No! Not after last time, NO!" Lydia was adamant. "No clones." When Delia brought baby Crystal home from the hospital Beetlejuice had let his clones loose. The amount of trouble he landed it could only be described as astronomical. "Beetlejuice! Put your clones away!" Charles growled with a very menacing yet protective look in his eye. "If you ever do that again so help me even Satan himself will shudder at the mere thought of what I will do to you! Do you understand?" Charles Barked. Beetlejuice nodded.
"You are a little cutie. Yes you are!" Beetlejuice cooed as he played with Crystal. "I'm all for revolting smells, but this kid really stinks!" Beetlejuice said. "Oh, she needs a change." Replied Lydia, taking the baby upstairs again. "Oh, gag me." Cried Beetlejuice. "You are already gagging. Here, throw this in the diaper pail." Lydia instructed. "Why do you keep the dirty diapers? Is this some fetish I'm missing out on?" "No. These are cloth diapers. You don't throw them away, you wash them and then reuse them again and again." Explained Lydia. "You mean you put the dirty diapers in the wash with your clothes? Disgusting." "Delia has a diaper service that comes and picks up the dirty ones and leaves clean ones in their place." "Uh....no they don't. At least not anymore. Those are the guys in the white truck with pink and blue rattles on it?" Beetlejuice asked. "Yes. Beetlejuice, what did you do?" "I may have been bored a few days ago and scared them off." "You didn't! Delia is going to murder you. Or make you hand wash all the diapers from now on." Lydia was serious.
Soon Crystal fell asleep and Lydia put her to bed. "How was everything?" Asked Delia when she and Charles got home. "Fine, just fine. Crystal is sound asleep." Said Lydia. "Good. Thank you for watching her." Charles said. "Where's Beetlejuice?" "Since he decided you don't need a diaper service. He wants to be the one to wash all the diapers by hand. And he offered to help me watch Crystal any time you two needed." Lydia added. "Well good for him! I think I'll call it an early night myself." Charles said.
Meanwhile, Beetlejuice was up to his armpits in soap suds. "Baby humans sure are messy." He said to himself as he scrubbed a soggy diaper until it was clean. Maybe he shouldn't have scared away the diaper service. Beetlejuice looked around, he was surrounded by diapers. Cleaning them was no easy task and Lydia just brought down the diaper pail. How long was it before potty training?