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Jesper had never seen Kaz dance, not since he'd known him. The injured leg, of course, probably didn't encourage any additional confidence in his own ability, but that was irrelevant. If Kaz could fight as well as he could on his own two feet, exactly as they were, then it was certain that he could dance as well. It would just take a little bit of convincing to see the proof of it.
Jesper started with the music, something calm but with enough tempo to be able to step to, to slowly ease them in. He would make Kaz dance by the end of the night, and he wouldn't accept anything less. This was especially given the kaleidoscope of injuries that had covered Kaz's body had finally healed, and the only remaining sign of his pain was his usual limp.
No more bruises across his skin, no more wounds. No more contract making him the property of one of the vilest women in Ketterdam, no more being threatened into obedience for Inej's safety. No more, not after they'd found him with a pair of suspenders wrapped around the woman's neck, three dead men scattered in pools of their own blood across the floor. And Kaz, shaking and barely holding himself up, collapsing the moment the woman he was choking stopped fighting to breathe. There was no more after that.
“I bet you could,” Jesper said, coming up behind him in the chair, “If you tried.”
Kaz looked back to glare at him, an adorable but unintentional pout on his lips. He was no longer so threatening when Jesper had known him long enough to read even his subtlest expressions.
“I'm not dancing, Jesper.”
Sure, he seemed steadfast and certain, but it wouldn't be the first time Jesper had managed to convince him of something he didn't initially want to do. And it was dancing, something so innocent and harmless and Kaz would love it if he only gave it a chance, if he'd just put his ego and pride aside.
“It's just me and you, no one will ever know.” Jesper tugged lightly on the sleeve of his shirt, trying to hold back his excitement as Kaz slightly shifted toward him in response. “Come on. Just one song.”
Kaz sighed, “Jesper, I've never…”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
He tugged harder and Kaz finally stood, turning to face him. They locked hands, both gloved, Jesper running his arm around Kaz's back to settle just below the middle. He pulled him closer, leaving only a couple of inches between them. Kaz's free arm hung awkwardly.
“Rest your other hand behind my shoulders and lean on me. I'll act as your cane.”
“You're leading?”
“I'm taller, and I actually know what I'm doing.”
Kaz scowled but obliged, bringing them in position. “If you spin me, I'm putting you on the floor.”
Jesper smiled, listening to the music and choosing a beat to start with. He tapped his foot out, waiting for Kaz to follow. It was awkward and hesitant, but eventually he did.
“There you go, just keep doing that, and then follow me when I step out.”
“This is embarrassing,” Kaz murmured.
And he could tell it was – Kaz's cheeks were dusted pink, more reaching down to his neck and up to his ears. Jesper fought the urge to kiss it away.
“Your hands fit so easily in mine, your body too. You're so snug and fitting and perfect.”
Kaz refused to look at him as he spoke, clearly still uncomfortable. Perhaps a little surprise was in order, something to get him to move before he could overthink it.
Jesper swung left, startling Kaz by the suddenness of it, his eyes widening but surprisingly following well on his feet.
He then swung right.
“Jes–”
“Instinct, Kaz. If you can fight you can dance. Just feel the music like you feel a fist.”
The tempo increased and Jesper followed suit, practically dragging Kaz across the floor, holding up part of his weight with the arm around his waist. He felt Kaz's hand tangle into the fabric of his coat, hanging on tightly as they moved. If he pressed a hand against Kaz's chest, he imagined he’d probably feel it thumping erratically.
It was okay, they were off to a good start. First dances were always awkward.
“Jesper, wait, I can't–”
“You've got this,” Jesper interrupted, before releasing Kaz to lead him into exactly what he'd demanded Jesper not do – a spin.
Kaz released a startled sound, something like a grunt, before he was yanked back into Jesper's arms, giving him no chance to run. But just before Kaz pressed against his chest, his face buried against the lapel of his coat, he caught the slight wince of pain that flashed across his eyes. The unsupported spin had been hard on his knee.
“I'm sorry,” Jesper whispered, “I won't do that again.”
Kaz murmured something unintelligible, the words muffled by the fabric. He released Kaz's hand to tentatively run his fingers up the nape of his neck, tangling in his hair, ready to quickly release and guide him to a chair at the subtlest objection to the glove to skin contact. There wasn't one.
One hand tangled in Kaz's hair and another resting on the small of his back, he gently swayed him with the music. Kaz wrapped both arms around Jesper's body, still hiding his face against his shoulder. A little vulnerability had leaked, and as per usual as they'd gotten to trust each other, Kaz's response was to hide.
“Show me your face,” Jesper murmured, “Look up.”
He tugged on the strands of hair to encourage him up, and then ran the tips of his fingers along his skull to soothe as he was obliged. Kaz's eyes, however, still wouldn't meet his.
“Saints, the man you've become. So this is who's been hiding all these years.”
“Shut up, Jesper.”
A little bit of unconditional affection, and Kaz became mush. Who would have thought?
The song slowly faded out, another taking its place, but Kaz didn't pull away. Instead, he buried his face back against Jesper's shoulder and sighed, arms holding a little more tightly.
Nina had once told them that hugs would release something in the body, something that was good and comforting and even healthy. Something that Kaz had been deprived of for years and suddenly, being smothered with it hug after hug, couldn't get enough of. Maybe that was why it broke him down so easily, why it forced him open and exposed – because his body was unfamiliar with handling being cared for and loved and the warmth that came with those things, and his walls didn't know how to come down without just suddenly crumbling into pieces.
The new song was slower than the last, so Jesper tilted his face until his cheek rested atop Kaz's temple, and they stood like that, snugly in each other's embrace. They continued to sway, both of them following each others’ movements naturally.
Instinctively. Just like a fight in the barrel's alleyways.
Of course Kaz could dance.