Work Text:
Lifht and L are in that task force buidking thing that L had built. I forgot what its called. Anyway they are in there with the rest of the task force. Matsuda walks in ans is like “hey guys whats up” and light’s eyes widen and he freezes…..
Heh… whats up? What kind of auestioj is that? What is matsuda getting at? Does he think he can figure me out with a stipd question like “whats up?”
“Bothing much how about you.”
“Im awesome sauce!” Matusda days because he is super happy and is the only one on the task force to experience joy anymore. Light scrowls.
Awesome sayce….? Why are you awesome sauec, matsuda? Is it because you have a lead? You stupid bou. Baka. They should csll you baksuda because yorie a bala….
“Matsuda! Ntohing about this is awesome sauce! kira is still killing thousands every day!!!!” Light got up angrily and yelled at cute matsuda. L yanked Light back and waggled his little finger at him.
“Light, matsuda is just feeliny awesome sauce. Why are you so defensive? Is it because you are kira and you hate that youe work isnt being recognised?”
“WHAT! NUH UH!” Ligjt says super mad-like bc why would L even say that ????
L pondered. Sitting like a freak in his nerd chair. “Still defensive… im about 3% more sure you re kira now.” L bit his thumb as he thought, “you must have a lot of secrets, light.”
Matsuda stoped paying attention and left the room because light was being stupid. Light thought to himself as he watched L intently….
Whu?!3??) what does he mean by that??? What else couod he have possibly figured oht about me….
“I just dont want my image slandered by the name of Kira. Im not kira!!!!!!!”
“Whatevee you say light.” L looked around innocently as he thought..
Hes obviously kissed men before. I cant believe he thinks he can hide it from me. What else are you hiding, Yagami Light?
“Light… i must ask. What is your surname backwards?”
Light locked eyes with L. Confused. Angery. Not wanting to lose to this stupid idiot. He smiled and laughed, outting on his usual super chill silly persona,
“Well, its imagay, of course!” Light watched as L bit hus thumb again, looking down st his feet as he thought of his next move.
“Now, Light, may i ask you to say that one more tome, a bit slower?”
Light looks L in fhe eyes as he spoke, deep in thought, “Im… a…. Gay…” his eyes widened. There was a wide angeled shot on his face. Kinda looked like this:
“I knew if. I knew that all i had to do was play my hand right, and you woild admit it to me yourself, Light…” L mumbled and tooked at Light with sullen eyes, “im a gay, too…”
Light was in shock.
GUH?! Hes gay too? L? No wonder he figured me out so wuick… i cant let him know hes right… This might be a trick to somehow link me to Kira…
“Im proud of you, L, but im not gay. Thats just my last name. Bt that logic, my father would be gay too.”
“I suppose… but he actuslly shows an interest in women. Being married and havinf yoj. You, on the other hand, Light, are very clearly uninterested in girls. Take Misa for example..” L twirled s tendril of his hair aroujd with his finger. “Such a beautiful, famous model and yet yoi ignore her almost daily?”
Light stopped. L had caught him. What else coild he say?? He was right, Misa was perfect. Except she was a girl. Darn. Is Kira gay? Would Kira be gay? What card should he play? Light was trapped in hus mind, fearing what L would say next.
“Shes just not my type. Not into blondes.”
“Oh? Well what is your type, Light?” L asked seemingly innocently. Light was so caught off gaurd by thr stupid question he ddint even think twice.
“Hmmm let me think… black hair.. has to be as smart as me… beautiful dark eyes…” Light was so in love with the picture he was creating in hus head, UNTIL HE REALISED IT WAS L. “WAIT A MINUTR.”
L’s expression did not change one bit. “Oh, is that so, Light? So you wouldnt mind taking me as your partner instead of Misa?”
“NO IM NOT GAY L IM NOT GAY”
Ryuk laughed bc i forgot he would likely be here watchinf this situation go down. “It seems like L has you all figured out, Light…” he laughed that weird hissing laugh he does. What a freak.
Stupid shinigami. Im not honna let L win. Maybe i do kiss boys, but L doesnt have to know that.
“Light, i can trll this question is stressing you out. If you would like me to drop the subject i dont mind. But just know it only makes me more sure that you are Kira.” L’s voice was muffled by his hand in fromt of his mouth, biting his thumb as he spoke.
“Yes. I would appreciate that a lot.”
Ugh im so mad and so stressed ugh!!!!!!! I need to be alone….. i think.
Bc i cannot rememebr if they are still handcuffed together or not, Light gkes to his room. But L follows soon after unbenknownst to him because he wants to keep tabs on Light.
LATER!
L hears a muffled sound coming from Light’s room. He fears Light may be killing more super duper innocent criminals withbhis magic kira powers. Without knocking he slams the door open and sees Light curled up on the bed sobbing.
L walks over to see whats up cuz why not. Light had started age regressing bc he was so stressed out ahout being called gay. He had a babybbottle and a pacifier inguess idk. Ryuk was just standing over him laughing, but L could not see that.
“Light what are you doing” L asked. He didnt resllt care he was just weirded out.
Light screamed and kicked L and ran aeay i guess. Into some sorrve like. Corner.? Idk he judt went away. He started to have a realistic panic attack as L approached him.
“Light are you an age regressor” L questioned, Light pulled himself together to think,
Would kira be an age regressor……….. heh… L… i know this is one of your tricks…. Even in this staye of mind…. I know exactly what yourebup to… asking if im gay… asking if i regress… next i bet youll ask me about my top surgery and my secret therian social media accounts….. but im always 406 steps ahead…
“Yes pls dont be mad.”
“Alright boys… lock him up!” L shouted. The task force came in and areested baby light for mass murder. “The only piece i was missing… Kira is a gay age regressor….”
The end.