Archive of Our Own ^beta

After the disbandment of Crime Sorciére, they've all gone their different ways. Sorano had left to join Sabertooth, and she’d merely been the beginning of an overwhelming change for all of them. That isn't to say that they aren't all a family to this day. If they're ever in need, Jellal knows that they're only a call away. However, even though they all keep in touch every now and then, the only person Jellal has had by his side at every given moment is Meredy.

Though they’ve departed on their own individual journeys on occasion - namely moments where Meredy reunites with old guildmates and Jellal roams the continent looking for the root of all evil -  the two of them always find their way back to each other. It's a truth that's apparent especially now as Jellal roams the streets of Magnolia and spots Meredy at a stall looking over some jewelry.

“Meredy,” Jellal’s voice is gentle. He has no need to project his voice when she's near. She snaps her head upwards to make eye contact with him eagerly, welcoming him over with a grin.

She looks up to him, cares for him, and is at his side no matter what path he chooses. Meredy’s an adult in her own right now, she’s long outlived any debt she has to him - not that she’s ever owed him a thing, but she stays by his side regardless. It's a gift he'll never deserve.

Ultear had been with Meredy for most of her life. From the moment Meredy had been taken from her village, it had been Ultear who nurtured and loved her, even though Ultear had been the one to cause the slaughter of her people. Meredy has every reason to hate the both of them, but instead, she's chosen unconditional love.

“Jellal,” Meredy's smile is light itself. It illuminates her face, the apples of her cheeks warming as she notices him and waves. She doesn’t hesitate before walking closer to him. “It’s good to see you!”

“You look well,” Jellal observes and he finds that he means it. Jellal remembers the early days of being on the run with Meredy and Ultear. Meredy had been so scrawny and thin. It takes one to know one and Jellal had immediately recognized the eternal hunger that starvation etches into one's face. She has seen the darkest parts the world has to offer, and she has emerged.

Jellal has always worried that Crime Sorciére and their joint redemption spree holds her back. Meredy has always had so much of her life ahead of her. Ultear and Jellal were older and more singular in their grief, single-mindedly focused on redeeming themselves for a lifetime of sin. Meredy had been forced to tag along because she’d never had anyone else other than Ultear.

“I wish I could say the same for you,” Meredy grumbles, furiously snatching Jellal’s hood off and pinching one of Jellal’s cheeks before he can escape her grasp. “You need some meat on your bones, you know.”

“It’s my job to look after you,” Jellal returns uselessly beneath her watchful gaze.

“Maybe if you did a better job at looking after yourself I wouldn’t worry,” Meredy huffs.

Jellal smiles. Meredy has always had a heart of gold, no matter how much she may deny it. Jellal is about to remove himself from her grasp when he feels a familiar magical aura surround him, chain link applying itself to his wrist.

Her sensory link magic. Damn it.

“Meredy,” he pleads with her weakly, already knowing his fate is sealed.

“I can feel your wound,” Meredy scowls, smacking his arm. “At least you dressed it this time. I told you not to do anything reckless.”

“I’m alright,” Jellal reassures helplessly knowing she has no intention of listening to placatements. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Someone has to,” Meredy remarks tepidly.

Jellal supposes he can’t refute that. Or, at least not without a several hour long argument he’s learned to dodge after Meredy’s teenage years.

“You seem much happier here,” Jellal observes eventually. Truly, she does. She has a certain glow to her face she only gets when being in the company of those who walk the light.

Meredy is a mirror in many ways. Jellal has always assumed it was a part of her magical signature. She reflects back the emotions she’s surrounded with, and seeing the light reflected on her is beautiful. She’s a natural at it, the same way she always has been.

It has always been one of Jellal’s greatest fears that he is dragging Meredy to the depths of hell with him. Her happiness is clear, especially after spending time with a light guild as welcoming as Fairy Tail.

“It’s nice here,” Meredy admits freely. “I like spending time with Juvia. Fairy Tail’s magical like that. It’s… well, you know what I mean.”

And boy, does Jellal know. It'd been a running joke in Crime Sorciére that they may as well call themselves a Fairy Tail sub-guild at this point with the amount of times they've crossed paths. It’s half the reason he runs from Erza and Fairy Tail at every turn. Spending time around Fairy Tail truly lets Jellal feel as though he can be better. It’s a shame that Jellal isn’t worthy of such a path.

But Meredy? She’s more than worthy of a life untouched by their sins.

“If you wanted to join, I wouldn’t be opposed,” Jellal says carefully, wincing as he notices Meredy’s eyes narrow in disdain. So much for avoiding an argument.

“I knew it was going to be something like this. It always is with you,” Meredy scowls. “When are you going to get it in your thick head that I’m not leaving you?”

Jellal is ruining her youth. She doesn’t deserve to live a life damned by sin the way Jellal does. She is better than him in every way.

Meredy glowers, pinching her arm roughly. Jellal winces in pain, eyes widening as he realizes she’d never canceled their sensory link. She’d felt every one of his emotions. Shit.

“You have no right to feel guilty,” Meredy glares. “I’m not innocent, Jellal. It’s my life and I made my choice. My sins are my own. I stayed by your side for a reason.”

“You were young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. You’ve more than redeemed yourself since,” Jellal refutes. “You should not deny yourself happiness for the sake of others.”

Meredy laughs openly, humored by his response.

“What’s so funny?” Jellal retorts, slightly irritated.

“Do you even know what you sound like?” Meredy says, her voice cold in contrast to her sunny demeanor. “You’re ridiculous.”

At Jellal’s visible confusion, Meredy continues onward. “Do you even remember why Ultear wanted to break you out of jail?”

How could Jellal forget that day? He remembers a cold, miserable existence from within his cell, and then life. A life so beautiful he had no clue how he could ever begin to deserve it.

They’d been on the run for weeks inhabiting dirt caves, worn down warehouses, and storage carriages. It’d been some of the most beautiful and freeing days of Jellal’s life, because for the first time since that night in the tower when Zeref’s ghost had visited him, Jellal had been free and in control of his own mind.

But freedom came with a price. It always comes with a price. Jellal had been Ultear’s price.

“She felt remorse for our prior collaboration,” Jellal admits carefully, knowing Ultear is still somewhat of an uncomfortable subject for the both of them. They both loved her so dearly, yet the truth is that perhaps their lives would’ve been that much more beautiful without her touch.

“You know as well as I do that it was hardly a collaboration,” Meredy retorts.

“She told you?” the words stumble out of Jellal’s mouth before he can stop them. Jellal had assumed that Ultear at the very least would’ve let the darkness of that secret die with her.

Possession was a tired and grueling way to exist. It had been despicable and torturous in every way; Jellal had been perfectly fine with letting the horror of that part of his life die with Ultear. After all, if a tree falls in an empty forest, does it truly make a sound?

There had been no need for Jellal to unpack that aspect of his tortured existence without Ultear’s presence. It seems he’d given Meredy too little credit.

“Did you think I had no questions about her choice to save a terrorist cult leader on our way to redemption?” Meredy narrows her eyes. “Obviously, I asked.”

“Both of us were lost souls on a path headed to hell. Our fault was equal.” As are their fates.

“Really?” Meredy questions. “Because she told me point blank that she twisted your mind.”

Jellal stares at Meredy, baffled at her bold assessment. Both of them have always had complicated relationships with Ultear, but for her sake, they had done their best to let bygones be bygones and move on to the future.

After her death, they had grieved her with everything they had. There had been no space in their hearts for anything but sorrow.

“I’m not a child, Jellal,” Meredy scowls. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I wasn’t…” Jellal’s words taper off, unsure. “Her legacy was complicated as it was. I never wanted to make things harder for you.”

“It’s okay to resent her, I think,” Meredy says quietly. “I resent her too sometimes. But it never outweighs how much I loved her.”

In a world without Ultear, Meredy would have lived with her parents in a village that loved her. Jellal would’ve been freed by Erza, and they and their friends would’ve led the rebellion in the Tower of Heaven together. Maybe they would’ve escaped to Fairy Tail side by side. Simon would’ve lived.

But those are nothing but fantasies, and in the depths of their respective hells, it had been Ultear who’d lent them a hand and shown them a path of redemption.

“She loved you more than you can imagine,” Jellal says, voice tightening as he remembers long nights where they’d chat amongst the two of them about Meredy’s future. The life she could’ve lived, the life she’ll have with two wanted criminals by her side.

“I know,” Meredy’s smile is watery. “She loved you too, you know.”

Jellal lets out a heavy breath. Ultear loved everything in her own way. It’s what made her who she was.

“She wouldn’t want you to spend your life chained to your guilt,” Jellal says finally. “Even then, she worried about what your future would become while tied to us.”

“We were pardoned, Jellal,” Meredy cuts through his statement swiftly.

“Even still,” Jellal persists. “You’d be happier there.”

Meredy’s jaw drops open in frustration. Her eyes grow clouded in their conflicted anger, and Jellal prepares himself for the inevitable lash out until that furious temper tames into licks of wildfire. Flames of fury dance in her eyes, and it’s then that Jellal knows he’s truly in trouble.

Meredy is so much like Ultear in this way. She’s wickedly funny, intelligent beyond her years, and she always has a plan under her belt. Jellal sees Ultear in her every smile.

“Don’t use her wishes to get me to do what you want,” Meredy says coldly.

“That’s not-” Jellal halts, hoping to rephrase his words accordingly. “You deserve happiness, Meredy. You don’t need to live a life of redemption any longer. You can move beyond this.”

“And by this you mean you, right?” Meredy assesses his words harshly.

Jellal is trapped, at a loss for words as he reels with Meredy’s accusation that’s unfortunately not too off the mark.

“Okay, you know what?” Meredy lets out an exasperated sigh, raising her hands in the air. “I’ll join Fairy Tail, but only after you do.”

Jellal blinks slowly. He stares at Meredy, but her resolve only strengthens as she smiles at him knowing she’s won.

Then, eventually, a sigh crawls out of his throat. “Meredy, please.”

“I know about your promise to Erza so don’t be a chicken and pretend you can’t walk in and get an emblem at any given moment,” Meredy doubles down, sensing that he’s trapped, and presses a finger to his chest in what can only be a threat. “I’m not setting a single foot in that guild hall unless you join.”

Words fail to leave Jellal’s mouth. Jellal struggles to find an adequate response, but by then, Meredy’s already leaving with a smile on her face and some jewel in her hands that Jellal’s sure was in his pocket a moment ago.

“I’m gonna go back to the market stalls since they have some cute jewelry, so I’ll see you in a bit!” Meredy waves with a smile, finally dissipating their sensory link as she retreats into the crowd. “Think on it.”

Jellal feels for his jewel pouch at his waist only to find it gone.

Every day in Jellal’s life is another lesson to never underestimate her.

…

Jellal doesn’t quite know how he got here. It’s a beautiful morning, and Jellal finds himself standing in front of the Fairy Tail guild on the one day he knows Erza won’t be there. The pastry shop she loves is having a buy one get one free sale, and she’s never been one to turn down good cake.

Even now, he still feels somewhat awkward setting foot into the guild hall. He’s been here so many times, tread these steps more times than he can count, yet even still it feels invasive. As if he’s setting foot on Erza’s home turf without her knowledge, even though he knows it couldn’t be further from the truth.

The doors open wide, and he’s glad to see that nearly no one has even taken in his presence. That’s the beauty with a guild like Fairy Tail - life keeps on moving.

That, and he supposes he’s hardly become a stranger to the guild, even if he rarely ever comes in like this unless it's for business. Or, well, Erza.

It’s Laxus who acknowledges him first, seeming to be sipping on a drink at the bar while in conversation with Mira. He saunters over to Jellal - definitely at least a bit tipsy - and slaps a hand onto Jellal’s shoulder that nearly causes Jellal to jump in surprise.

“Ey, meteor boy!” Laxus’ laugh is thunderous. “Been a while since I’ve seen you around here.”

Jellal shrugs nonchalantly. “I had a free day. I thought I’d come back here and borrow some of your rare texts if your Master would be amenable.”

As far as lies go, it isn’t the worst one he’s told. Either way, Laxus doesn’t seem to buy it. Typical dragon slayers.

Laxus and Jellal have become something closer to friends than enemies against all odds. The Grand Magic Games had been a fiasco in itself, and as members of the same team who had good reason to be outcast from the guild as a whole, they had a shared common ground. Not to mention that both of them happened to be on a very similar level of magical ability, and it was always fun to find a new sparring partner.

“Uh huh,” Laxus drawls in utter disbelief. “Well, either way, you owe me a few drinks.”

Jellal finds himself whisked away without much of an affair about it. The remainder of the guild seems to be going about business as usual, meaning that half of the guild has become some kind of mosh pit while the other half continues onward as if it’s business like usual.

“Jellal, hi!” Mira’s grin is warming as Jellal takes the seat next to Laxus. “I thought that was you I saw at the door.”

“Thought I’d catch him before he could run when he realized his girl is out,” Laxus snorts.

“Oh, please,” Mira teases. “Don’t tell me you haven’t realized he has her schedule memorized by now.”

Jellal now understands the many, many warnings he received about Mira. Hell, he’d learned for himself that she had a wicked way with words in their time together during the Grand Magic Games. A wicked way with words, and a long history of a rivalry and friendship with Erza.

He’s under no pretense that Mirajane can’t ruin him for the rest of his days.

“She’s going to be at the bakery for the rest of the day knowing her,” Mira muses, looking up at Jellal with a twinkle in her eye. “But you knew that, didn’t you?”

Jellal’s struggles to formulate something to say, but no words come out. Instead, a flush rushes to his face. “It’s not like that.”

“C’mon, Mira. Don’t break him yet or he’s never gonna join up,” Laxus’ laugh is boisterous. “Believe it or not I find the twerp entertaining, and Scarlet’s gonna have your head if she finds out you’re the one who scared him off.”

Jellal can’t stop the way his heart races in alarm at that. His blood pounds in his ears and he curses himself for letting his guard down when Laxus narrows his eyes.

Laxus is one of very few people who can make Jellal feel young, whether that be because of his physical mass or his perfectly crafted older brother masquerade. Jellal supposes it must be a consequence of growing up in a guild like Fairy Tail; Laxus truly was everyone’s older brother here.

“Wait,” Laxus’ confusion bends into intrigue. “You’re not here for Scarlet, and as incredible as our company is, I doubt you’re here to catch up. So why are you here?”

Jellal’s jaw is tense, his eyes darting around the room to the various dragon slayers. Although Gajeel, Natsu, and Wendy appear involved in their own affairs, one word and they’d snap their heads over in a heartbeat.

Mirajane gasps and she moves a hand to cover her mouth.

“Calm down,” Jellal meant it to be authoritative but it comes out more like a plea. “I’ll tell you later.”

It’s Laxus who drops the ball, damn him and his one too many drinks, because his voice echoes across the guild in an unmistakable way that there’s no way anyone in the guild doesn’t hear him.

“You’re joining Fairy Tail?”

If you asked Jellal how he ended up with every eye in the guild on him in an instant, he’d say he never wanted this to happen. That, and that the next time he fought Laxus he was going to rip the other man a new one.

Of course the moment Laxus speaks, the entire guild goes so quiet you could hear a pin drop for the first time in Fairy Tail history. Of course. Why is Jellal even surprised? This is frankly just his luck.

Jellal groans, hitting his head against the bar’s counter in frustration. Not even Mira offers him soothing words in this trying time.

“Are you really?” She exclaims, overjoyed while lifting him from the counter so she can make eye-contact with him. He really forgets how strong she is because her grip hurts. “Oh, please, it’s been ages. It’s been painful to watch, honestly.”

Laxus reaches over to ruffle Jellal’s hair, clearly not understanding the consequences of his actions. “Good on ya, it was about damn time. Mavis knows you’ve been an honorary member since the Games.”

Mira nods sagely. “Really, I can’t believe you took this long.”

Jellal means to scowl at Laxus, but really it comes out as nothing more than a pitiful groan.

“What?” Laxus questions. “Look, I get we’re not the most straight-laced guild out there, but we’ve gotta be an upgrade from the hassle of independent guild paperwork. At least try not to look like you’re already planning to book it.”

“It’ll be nice to have a new face in the S-Class ranks!” Mira chimes in brightly until she seems to contemplate her words. “Well, I suppose the same face, but close enough.”

“You think Gramps’ll make him do the trial?” Laxus questions.

“Maybe,” Mira muses. “Probably have him masquerade as Mystogan til we get another permit.”

“It was supposed to be a secret,”Jellal manages to choke out eventually as his last shred of dignity shrivels up and dies.

He watches the moment it clicks for the two S-Class mages. For wizards so strong, they thoroughly lack perceptivity.

Mira arches her form so she can see beyond Laxus and Jellal’s silhouettes. Laxus’ face shutters as his senses kick in again.

The guild stares straight back at them in astoundment.

The last thing Jellal hears from them before the Guild erupts into loud chatter and congratulatory sentiments is a very quiet final word from Laxus. “Oh.”

Typical that now is the only time he learns the magic of verbal restraint.

“Oh’s right,” Jellal returns dryly.

Right as Jellal can tell he’s about to get jumped by Natsu Dragneel himself, Mira is jumping over the counter and grabbing Jellal by the collar, yanking him through the guild hall while beckoning Laxus to follow with a curled two fingers. He doesn’t even hesitate to start running straight after her, grabbing his coat and heading off in an instant.

He can hear the guild clamoring in confusion at the announcement. Jellal can barely make out the general consensus or even catch anyone’s eyes before Mira is moving.

Mira’s eyes glow as she reaches the door with Jellal still in her grasp, her menacing aura shrouds the guild, and her voice echoing loud and clear. “Bar’s closed for today. By Mavis’ heart, don’t be gossips.”

“Rich coming from you, Mira,” says a faint mumbling Jellal pins down from the general direction of Natsu Dragneel and Gray Fullbuster. Gray’s eyes widen as he seems to realize what he’s said. Ultear had truly understated the boy’s death wish.

“What was that?” Mira’s smile is terrifying.

“Nothing,” the fear of god has already climbed into Gray’s eyes. Natsu looks terrified in his own right despite not saying a single word.

“Great!” Mira’s smile has turned pleasant again, but it appears a far echo of the thing when contrasting it to the look of pure fury that preceded it. “I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.”

The door closes with a thud behind them, and there they all stand, outside of Fairy Tail’s guild hall.

Jellal’s chest heaves. He feels like a bundle of nerves, exposed and on display, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. He hadn't expected to get this far. He couldn’t handle the guild rejecting him on that level.

That was the entire reason he came, after all. He didn’t want anyone to tolerate his presence in the guild for Erza’s sake, or be a burden upon her if he were to join.

Hell, he hadn’t even thought this would ever be an option to begin with. When her team’s 100 year quest had come to a conclusion and Jellal realized it was about time to make good on his word, he’d let the question lie in the open air. It’d only been upon seeing Meredy’s own happiness that he’d been forced into an ultimatum.

They would either decide to set on a new path together, or they would stay and continue on as part of Crime Sorciere side by side. It’d been that simple. And overwhelmingly, each and every one of them had decided that they would forge a new path.

Jellal, Meredy, and Erik were all independently thinking of joining Fairy Tail. Jellal and Meredy had found roots here, whether it be with Erza, Juvia, or even just the easy camaraderie of friendship they’d developed during the Grand Magic Games. Upon finding out about Kinana being a member, there would be no other guild for Erik. That, and even if he didn’t admit it, he’d grown closer with the other dragon slayers.

Yet Jellal’s guilt would not leave him behind. His history with Fairy Tail was undeniable, but to impose himself upon them was a different outcome.

He needed their approval, or at least their perspective, and now the rug had been pulled out from under his feet in a way he had no clue what to do about it.

Mira and Laxus exchange a cautious look before setting their eyes back on him.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Mira attempts to soothe, “I know they can be a lot. They’re really just excited.”

“I didn’t realize,” Laxus says cautiously, seeming wary of Jellal finally bursting his final fuse. “That’s my bad.”

Jellal lets out a sigh, carefully reassessing even as his mind is going a thousand ways. “What’s done is done. I originally wanted to discuss it separately with the Master, but I suppose that’s not an option.”

Mira and Laxus exchange a knowing glance.

Laxus finally decides to grumble out their current fates. “Erza’s not gonna be happy being left in the dark for long.”

To hear that even Laxus apparently fears Erza’s wrath is an interesting dynamic.

“Let’s go out,” Mira suggests instead, hoping to lighten the mood. “It’ll be a nice change.”

“Where?” Jellal asks warily. Even if his name has been cleared, he doesn’t usually make a practice of being a public figure.

Mira eyes Laxus sternly. His eye twitches as her gaze intensifies in weight.

“C’mon, do I really have to?” Laxus groans.

“Stop being a baby,” Mira retorts. “This is your fault, so you should take responsibility.”

“Fine,” Laxus grumbles. “Guess we’re going to my place.”

…

Laxus’ apartment is a nice, cozy place. Jellal doesn’t know exactly what he was expecting, but it was certainly nothing like this. Where he’d thought he’d see a more traditional man cave, he’s instead met with a cozy fireplace and a well-decorated living room.

Mira seems amused reading Jellal’s expression, laughing just a bit as she takes in the shock on his face. “Not quite what you thought it’d be, hm?”

“Well, I…” Jellal frowns, wondering how to word it. “I suppose not.”

“No one ever does,” Laxus scoffs, “Half the reason I keep those damn brats away from this place. If I hear you answering any questions about it, you’re dead meat.”

At Jellal’s raised eyebrow at the thinly veiled threat Mira merely smiles. “It’s a bit of a running joke at the guild. They’ve all placed bets on what Laxus’ place is like, so he likes to keep it a secret to keep up his street cred.”

“But you’ve been here before?” Jellal can’t help but ask as Mirajane easily opens one of Laxus’ cabinets without any hesitation and begins pouring the three of them drinks.

“We used to have S-Class meetings in here,” Laxus says gruffly. “Only place Natsu couldn’t just sniff out in a heartbeat.”

Well, Jellal supposed that made sense. However, a specific word choice causes Jellal’s eyes to narrow in confusion. “Used to?”

Laxus and Mira exchange a glance. Mira is the one who eventually decides to take on the burden of responding. “The status of S-Class has been less relevant if I’m being honest. I’m not sure the Master knows how to handle it.”

At Jellal’s palpable confusion at the words, Laxus interjects. “You’ve fought Natsu before, haven’t you?”

Well, isn’t that a walk down memory lane? Jellal remembers that fight as though it were yesterday, even with the haze of possession clouding his memory.

Natsu Dragneel is a force to be reckoned with. He’s a being with unimaginable power, someone that could barely be classified by the depths of ranking. Gray Fullbuster is much the same; Jellal Fernandes is under no impression that the two aren’t on an equal playing field. Even Lucy Heartfilia and Wendy Marvell have become forces to be reckoned with. Erza has surrounded herself with companions who are powerful beyond reasonability.

Fairy Tail is filled to the brim with the strong.

“I understand,” Jellal frowns. “You’re concerned about an oversaturation of S-Class.”

Mira hums and makes a so-so motion with her hands. “You’ve heard of Gajeel and Juvia, right?”

Jellal has made it a practice to familiarize himself with most if not all Fairy Tail mages. He certainly remembers the two former Phantom Lord members. “The iron dragon slayer and water mage, correct?”

Mira nods in agreement. “They were S-Class members of their former guild. Master considered potentially elevating them once they’d proven themselves, but Fairy Tail is a guild filled to the brim with talented mages. If Gajeel were accepted on behalf of former status, what’s to stop Natsu from demanding an instant appeal? If Juvia were accepted, what’s to stop Gray from claiming rightful status?”

Jellal frowns. “I understand. It’s become less of a metric of power and more of an indication of leadership.”

“Got it in one,” Laxus returns. “Honestly, with the way we have S-Class missions sanctioned so anyone with an S-Class mage can go on one, it ends up working out alright. I doubt Erza’s team would split up on missions even if they were allowed to, so they’ve never had much of an issue as far as working out what quests they can take on. The Thunder Legion usually sticks with me, so there’s not much of an issue there either. Gildarts is a deadbeat and Mira mostly works at the guild though, so with all the new requests piling in after Erza’s team finished the 100 year quest, we’re drowning.”

Mira frowns. “I’ve even been taking on more missions in my free time, but we’re still not able to meet demand.”

Typical Fairy Tail - of course they’d find a way to suffer from success too.

“I’d imagine the Magic Council hasn’t been too lenient about granting you extra permits?” Jellal responds dryly.

Laxus laughs at that. “You can say that again. I’d ask you if you had insider benefits, but you might be the only person they hate more than us.”

Leave it to Laxus to leave the truth laid bare with no second thought. He certainly isn’t wrong though. Very few people beat Jellal Fernandes on the Magic Council’s most hated list.

“I certainly shouldn’t be your first choice,” Jellal muses. “Were Gajeel and your solid script mage not once part of the Magic Council?”

Mira sighs wearily. “Unfortunately, their hatred for Fairy Tail seems to outweigh any ounce of goodwill we have with them. They are fond of those two though, so perhaps it is worth a shot.”

“Gramps probably already has something in mind for you,” Laxus judges in a heartbeat. “He’d really have to be on the verge of kicking the bucket if he didn’t.”

“Laxus,” Mira scolds his morbidity.

Jellal’s eyes widen in alarm. “There really is no need. If I joined, I’d be perfectly fine being on an equal ground as everyone else.”

“Please,” Laxus scoffs. “Didn’t you defeat God Serena? The same man who walked the Four Gods of Ishgar like a dog?”

“That’s hardly relevant,” Jellal mumbles.

“Seems a bit relevant,” Mira chimes in.

Laxus raises an eyebrow. “C’mon, man. You’re one of very few people who might stand a chance at beating me in normal circumstances. It’d be pretty damn embarrassing if you didn’t make S-Class at some point.”

“I think you’re forgetting about Natsu,” Mira recalls cheerily.

“So we’re calling that kid normal now?” Laxus retorts.

“I haven’t even accepted the emblem yet,” Jellal finally admits the reason for his hesitation. “It would be wrong for me to surpass your existing system when I have barely proven myself to you all.”

“What made you finally consider it if you don’t mind me asking?” Mira asks politely, putting their drinks on Laxus’ kitchen counter.

It’s a difficult question. Of course, the answer somehow always stems back to Erza as most things do with the two of them.

But it’s more than that. It’s so much more.

Maybe it’s the fact that Ultear’s gone forever. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t want Meredy to end up as miserable as him.

Either way, this is no way to live for the people he loves. It’s the least he can do for them.

Jellal could call it so many things. He’s fought countless enemies, won unwinnable battles time and time again, yet he’d always accepted his guilt would never be enough to absolve his fate.

Jellal knows what he is. It’s nothing human, nor is it anything beautiful. It’s the reason he’s let himself slip out of Erza’s grasp at every turn, even if fate brings them back together at every turn. He trusts Erza on every aspect of his very existence, but there’s no one he can believe but himself in regards to his own humanity.

He is inhuman and evil. He is wretched in every way a human can be. He wants nothing more than the ability to be nothing, but he has surrounded himself with people so undoubtedly good and loving that he has no choice but to acquiesce to their whims.

“A culmination of things,” Jellal admits. “I’ve been told that emerging from my sin and persisting in spite of it is more poignant than dying on my fated blade.”

Mira hums knowingly. “Erza asked you to join before her team went on the century quest, right?”

Jellal really never should’ve doubted her ability to stay informed.

“Yes,” Jellal admits. “I had a conversation with Meredy as well recently. She shed light on some doubts I had.”

“Oh, pinkie?” Laxus frowns as he struggles to remember.

“Yes,” Jellal smiles fondly at her mention. “She’s been at my side for so long. I owe it to her to show her she has a future beyond a life of regrets.”

Mira swallows carefully at that revelation, downing her drink before deciding to say her piece. “That’s very noble of you. I certainly didn’t make the same choice when I was in your shoes.”

At Jellal’s inquisitive look, Mira elaborates with a distant smile on her face. “Takeover magic wasn’t well received in our town. When we came to Fairy Tail, while Elfman and Lisanna settled in, I tried running away.”

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Laxus cuts in, allowing for no nonsense. “Besides, you stayed, didn’t you?”

Mira’s smile is wary, indicating she hasn’t quite bought Laxus’ placating words, but she persists regardless. “All I meant is it’s different when you have people relying on you, but you shouldn’t choose this path solely for the sake of others.”

“She’s right about that,” Laxus admits. “Take it from someone who made the same mistake once. You’ll start to resent them eventually.”

Jellal knows enough about Laxus’ history to know that the someone in question must be Master Makarov. It sends him reeling regardless.

“Did either of you know of Ultear?” Jellal asks despite himself.

“Bare bones,” Laxus admits. “I know she was on the Magic Council, then Grimoire Heart, and then joined up with your band of lackeys.”

Mira looks a bit more troubled though. “Gray mentioned her once or twice. I never saw her on Tenrou, but her legacy was… pronounced.”

Ah, of course.

“Ultear was not good to Meredy in her youth,” Jellal admits, troubled. “She did not know how to be kind to anyone until she spoke with Gray Fullbuster. Regardless, the absence she has carved into Meredy’s life is damning.”

“You want better for her,” Mira understands what he’s saying in an instant.

“She presented me with a truth about the similarities of our conditions,” Jellal frowns. “I told her she is allowed to move beyond the sins she’s damned herself to.”

“And she called you a hypocrite,” Laxus laughs.

“…Not in those exact words, but yes.”

“Do you disagree with her assessment?” Mira asks gently.

“She’s nothing like me,” Jellal insists immediately. “Ultear took her from her village as a mere child. Meredy never knew a life other than what Grimoire Heart, yet she’s managed to completely change the direction of her life in such little time. You would be foolish to still view her as a woman dictated by the girl of her youth.”

“You’re not that old,” Laxus seems somewhat amused. “Besides, I’m not so sure she’s wrong if what I’ve heard about this Ultear chick is true.”

Jellal blinks, struggling to read the glint in Laxus’ eyes until a puzzle piece clicks into place.

“Erza told you what Ultear said,” Jellal finishes.

“Nothing personal, but I wanted to know your specific brand of crazy before I bunked up with you at the Games,” Laxus admits nonchalantly.

“I’m not following,” Mira admits.

“Good ol’ Mysty boy here was possessed the entire time by that Ultear chick,” Laxus rolls his eyes. “Familiar?”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Jellal insists, refusing to watch sympathy sink into Mirajane’s eyes. “I still did everything. It doesn’t mean a thing. You’d agree if you knew how many people I hurt.”

“Everyone you’ve hurt seems to end up understanding, Jellal,” Mira says finally. “It seems like the only person left is yourself.”

Jellal sighs, a crease forming in his forehead. “We had her best intentions at heart, but she is too young to be weighed down by sins for the rest of her life. If both her and Erza’s happiness is contingent upon me joining, then it is the least I could do for the both of them to attempt to find a place here.”

A pause settles across the room.

“Y’know, I really don’t know why you always act like everything needs a speech,” Laxus grumbles. “You’ve practically been a member for ages.”

“I certainly have not,” Jellal refutes without hesitation, looking to Mira for support. As one of Erza’s closest friends, surely she would know the depth of his sins.

Mira merely makes a so-so motion. “I mean, you did serve as a member during the Grand Magic Games. And you were there in the fight against Tartaros and Acnologia, right?”

Jellal makes a vaguely betrayed noise at that. “Nearly all guilds participated in those efforts.”

Laxus raises a hand to his temple in an attempt to ward off an oncoming headache. “Look, I don’t know how to tell you this man, but it’s gotten to the point where the first master factors you into battle strategy. Any plausible deniability you might’ve had died there.”

Jellal’s face goes blank at that. There’s not really a sufficient response he can provide.

“What’s really holding you back?” Mira asks kindly.

“I didn’t have the… best introduction to a majority of your guild,” Jellal clarifies.

“Most of them do like you, you know,” Mira responds. “Laki told me all about how you were checking in on the guild every once in a while we were on Tenrou. She thought it was a bit creepy at first, but I think it’s cute!”

Pink rises to Jellal’s cheeks once more, but thankfully, Laxus saves him.

“We’re not as straight-laced as you think we are,” Laxus corrects. “I’ll have you know I tried starting an all-out guild civil war, and I still ended up back here somehow. Most of us are misfits for a reason.”

Jellal has heard whisperings of the man Laxus used to be, but such a truth seems so distant now knowing the man Laxus is today.

“Either way, I wouldn’t want to cause anyone discomfort with my presence here,” Jellal admits. “I thought it’d be pertinent for me to acclimate myself first before requesting to join.”

“If it’ll assuage your fears, you could still talk with them individually,” Mira suggests. “Everyone at the guild is pretty vocal. I’m sure they’d verbalize any issue they have with you pretty quick.”

That’s one saving grace with Fairy Tail. They leave nothing unsaid.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jellal smiles. “You both have been kind to me. I appreciate the advice.”

Laxus cuffs him on the back of his neck. “What are ex-teammates for?”

“Future teammates,” Mira corrects Laxus with a knowing smile.

“Besides, I gotta snatch you up while you’re still up for grabs,” Laxus smirks knowingly. “Erza’s team is already stupidly overpowered. The Thunder Legion’s always looking for more members.”

“Uh,” Jellal’s mind goes blank at the offer.

“Stop teasing him,” Mira chides before her smile goes wicked in her own right. “It’s not his fault he wants to spend every waking moment with his girlfriend.”

Jellal groans. Suddenly, he regrets ever expressing his gratitude.

…

If there’s one thing to be said about Natsu Dragneel, it’s that he’s not particularly subtle. Jellal was perfectly alright to deal with someone following him for the next few days if it meant it’d assuage Natsu’s fears, but this was getting ridiculous.

Though the dragon slayer must have a ridiculously enhanced scent of smell, the fact remains that he’s undeniably awful at stealth. At least today, he’s bothered with the decency of coming alone rather than bringing Happy, but that means that Jellal is simply left with Natsu.

Pure, sans conscience-fueling exceed, Natsu.

It’d been fine at first. Jellal didn’t have much of an issue with Natsu tracking him down. Where it got annoying was when he couldn’t get his shopping done because shopkeepers and store owners kept observing the very easily visible dragon slayer poorly attempting to trail him down.

That aside, the fact remained that Fairy Tail was a well-reputed and notable guild in Magnolia. The optics of being followed by one of their core members in plain sight wasn’t pretty for Jellal’s reputation.

It’s as Jellal orders a tea and a pastry at a local cafe and moves to sit down that he reaches his final straw.

Natsu appears to have forgotten his lunch, because now he’s eyeing Jellal’s perfectly made pastry that the lovely waitress is walking over on a plate like it’s his next snack. His stomach is rumbling incredibly loud from the bush he’s poorly hiding himself in, his scarf sticking out like a signature of his presence.

It’s as the waitress begins to walk away that Jellal finally gives up and decides it’s not worth playing dumb. “Natsu.”

“Who?” the bush responds.

“I know it’s you,” Jellal tries not to let his amusement break through to his voice.

“No you don’t.”

“I most certainly do.”

Natsu groans, stubbornly sticking his head out of the bush and glaring at Jellal, disgruntled. “How’d ya know?”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Jellal coughs. “Did you have a reason for following me?”

Natsu stares at Jellal dumbly, seeming to hope to conjure an excuse and coming up with nothing but a lackluster excuse. “I wanted to stalk out their menu?”

“Clearly,” Jellal deadpans. “Which is why you also followed me while I was grocery shopping this morning. Wanted to see if I bought the evil carrots instead of the normal ones, huh?”

Natsu just frowns, finally removing himself from the bush and sitting down in the seat across from Jellal. Unfortunately, he seems to have taken half of the bush’s contents with him, leaving piles of branches and leaves in his wake. “How’d you know about that?”

Natsu had worn his scarf as if it were a hat and had done nothing else to disguise himself. It’d be a miracle if Jellal hadn’t realized.

Jellal sighs, moving past that minefield with ease. “I assume this is about what happened at the guild the other day.”

“Yeah, man,” Natsu insists immediately. “What gives? Kinda cowardly to run.”

“I wasn’t running,” Jellal insists, despite the fact that he most definitely had run while hiding behind Mira’s wrath. “I simply hadn’t planned for it to go that way.”

“But you were serious, right?” Natsu confirms. “You aren’t pulling a fast one.”

“Yes, I was serious,” Jellal admits. “I went there in order to assess whether or not my presence would be a point of discomfort for anyone in Fairy Tail. If I were to join, I’d hardly want to give any of you any more trouble.”

“Then why’d ya run?” Natsu insists. “Lucy kept saying you were just scared, but it was kinda weird, man.”

Lucy is unfortunately pretty close to the truth.

“Frankly, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that,” Jellal struggles to verbalize. “I wanted to ask the Master first, but I didn’t want to overstay my welcome with your guild. I thought you all would’ve put up more of a fight.”

Natsu stares incredulously, enough so that Jellal begins to worry his eyes will pop out of his head. The dragon slayer has always had a flair for the dramatic. His jaw unhinges before it slowly winds upwards again in a mimicry of normalcy.

Natsu’s next words are the most baffled Jellal’s ever heard him. “Are you stupid?”

It’s a bold claim for someone that had hidden in a bush not even moments ago. He supposes he understands why Natsu rarely goes a day without an ear-pulling from Erza.

“Excuse me?” Jellal returns, aggrieved. He can’t even find it within himself to be insulted - just stunned.

Natsu waves his hand in front of Jellal’s face as if trying to test him for being in his right mind. A muscle in Jellal’s jaw twitches. It’s only when Natsu seems like he’s about to grab Jellal’s face and stretch it to ensure that it truly is Jellal here in front of him that Jellal catches Natsu’s hand in the air.

“If you have something to say, say it,” Jellal snaps.

“I know it was a while ago for you now, but do you really not remember?” Natsu genuinely seems stumped by Jellal’s complete confusion.

Ironic for Natsu to be the one baffled that someone else didn’t remember something. Let alone something that he provided zero hints about and didn’t specify a single shred on.

“You’ll have to elaborate,” Jellal says dryly.

“Back in that forest,” Natsu says, and suddenly Jellal regrets asking. Their history is a storied one, and so little of it is worth remembering. “When we were fighting the Oracion Seis.”

Jellal fights a grimace of embarrassment. He is… not proud of the person he was in that forest. His memory of that time was hazy, what with the lack of memory he suffered in that time. Odd that the first time he’d felt back to himself in decades was clouded with an undeniable fog.

He’d hardly want Natsu to hold onto the idea that Jellal continued to feel how he felt then.

“I apologize if I said anything-“ Jellal begins to make amends, but Natsu interrupts him, shaking his hand out of Jellal’s grasp.

“Not like that,” Natsu groans in irritation. “Grow a pair, will ya? When those Magic Council lunatics took you at the end. Do you remember what I said to you?”

Jellal closes his eyes and thinks. It’s hard to remember anything but Erza from that moment. He’d only had eyes for her - the anguish painting her face, the agony she’d experienced in the face of his decision, the way her face had crumpled when he shared his last surfaced memory of their tainted youth.

He had never wanted to cause her pain, but it seemed as though it was all he was capable of.

But now, it all comes rushing back. The blood in his ears, the way that all of them had fought for him.

Fairy Tail, Blue Pegasus, and Lamia Scale’s top wizards had chosen to fight for his freedom. To this day, Jellal would never know what he’d done to deserve such a kindness when he’d brought nothing but evil upon this world.

Natsu’s words echo in his mind. They pound in his skull until Jellal wonders how he ever forgot them.

He’s one of us, and that means he comes with us.

Jellal remembers so little from then, but he remembers that. He remembers Natsu’s resolve, Gray’s devotion, Lucy’s strength, Wendy’s heart - he’d seen a glimpse of their best qualities in a fleeting second all to protect the one person they all loved.

Natsu smirks with satisfaction as he seems to observe Jellal’s expression. “Knew you’d get there eventually.”

“Did you…” Jellal sucks in a deep breath, unsure if he even wants to know the truth, “Did you truly mean that then?”

“Duh,” Natsu says with complete confidence like he isn’t shattering Jellal’s world. “Why would I lie about that?”

Jellal can’t help but chuckle at that. It’s oddly refreshing to be faced with a man like Natsu Dragneel in contrast to the world Jellal grew up in. The world Jellal Fernandes grew up in was complex and wicked - a lifetime of childhood slavery, once-thought demonic possession, and worse than all of the above. Politics.

One thing Jellal didn’t miss about the illusion of Siegrain was the pretense of the Magic Council in all its idiocy.

Natsu seems to take Jellal’s amusement as a sign to continue onwards, his grin as blinding as the sun. “Even if things didn’t turn out how I thought in the end, I think we’ll all be alright.”

And then the rest of Natsu’s words come back. He’d been fighting off the Magic Council, guard after guard, and his words still pound through Jellal’s skull.

You owe her to stay by her side.

And doesn’t Jellal owe her everything? Isn’t everything good he’s ever had in this world because of her? It’s taken him so long to realize that their lives are too short to spend a lifetime atoning for a sin he’ll never be forgiven for in the eyes of the heavens.

Forgiveness is best fought for together, and Jellal left Erza alone.

She did it for you, man.

Isn’t that a scary thought? That even then, when Jellal was nothing more than an empty husk of a human being with an unlived life and Erza knew nothing of him other than the pain he brought her, that even then she was still willing to lend an arm to him?

How could he have ever forced her to live a life without him when he can now see how happy his mere presence has made her?

And lastly, most impactful of all, whether you like it or not, you're one of us now.

“I should have listened to you then,” Jellal’s admission weighs on his chest as if it were a curse. “I left her alone.”

It’s often hard to believe that a man like Natsu Dragneel possesses a serious bone in his body until one witnesses it. Natsu truly always defies expectation.

“Nah,” Natsu’s smile is kind. “I didn’t get it then. Hell, I don’t think I fully get it now, but you both needed that.”

“But I-” Jellal’s throat catches on the word, “We wasted so much time. I never got my redemption, and I’ll never be free of my sin. I spent all this time trying to atone for the person I was, only to realize I could’ve done that by her side all along. What was the point?”

Natsu’s gaze is heavy. “Do you trust Erza?”

“Of course,” Jellal heaves out the truth, and it’s the truest thing he knows. Jellal has spent so much of his life without his autonomy or sense of self, but the one thing he’s always known is that he has trusted Erza. She is everything that is good in the world. She is everything that is right.

There was a reason Erza had been the only name he remembered. When he’d woken from his eternal slumber and come back to life, the only thing he recalled was her name.

Even then, he’d wanted to protect her. The last vestiges of his dying mind had latched onto a time beyond their own - a time when Erza had been taken and Jellal had taken her place. A time before the possession, a time before he’d lost control of his life.

He trusted her then, and he trusts her now. He always will.

“Then trust her decision, man,” Natsu advises. “If I’ve learned anything from being by her side all these years, she’s almost always right about these things.”

And that’s the crux of the matter. Erza may not admit it, nor will she ever pretend it’s a burden to her, but Erza does far more for Fairy Tail than she dares admit. She may be Titania Erza, but that’s not the largest title she bears.

Erza loves everyone in the guild. She cares for each of them the same way they used to care for everyone together in the Tower of Heaven. Seeing her with them reminds Jellal of the way she used to be when they were kids. Wendy’s hair is tied in plaits that Jellal recognizes - Millianna always used to sport them. She always nags on Natsu and Gray the same way she used to lovingly nag on Sho, always making sure he was okay but not being afraid to give him a reality check. She treats Lucy like the sister she never had, loving her and being there for her in every way she can.

It’s a burden that Jellal and Erza used to take on together in the Tower. The burden of care.

Even Jellal was never exempt from the depths of Erza’s care then. She would draw patterns into his skin as they neared sleep, knowing he would struggle to find peace otherwise.

Every time he’d tell her there was no need, she’d insist and do it regardless. Caring for a sinner as corrupt as him - even then - is a rotten task, yet she loved him beyond what he ever thought possible.

And now? She’s opened her home to him. It’s all Jellal can do not to stumble.

“I can’t imagine what she saw in me to find me worthy enough to let me join her guild, but I wouldn’t have offered to join if I didn’t trust her judgment,” Jellal struggles to find a way to word it correctly. “It’s simply… I didn’t quite understand how Guild’s worked until I led one of my own. If someone had hurt Meredy even a fraction as much as I’d hurt Erza, I certainly wouldn’t let them in without a fight.”

And, well, very few people could lay a hand on a former Wizard Saint without it being an absolute embarrassment for their ego. So, generally Jellal finds himself pretty safe on the front of fending off anyone who dares pursue Meredy.

Natsu’s laugh is loud and boisterous. “Y’know, it’s kind of hard to imagine you doing the whole dad schtick, but I see it now.”

Jellal flusters. “I certainly wouldn’t call myself her father.”

Natsu’s unimpressed glance is so humbling Jellal closes his mouth. There are some things he will allow himself to be lectured by Natsu Dragneel on, but this certainly isn’t one.

“Erza did a lot for us growing up,” Natsu admits, voice tuned lower so it doesn’t carry. “After Igneel left, I didn’t have anyone, and Gray was… well, I doubt Ultear and Meredy were quiet about his past. She took care of us when neither of us knew how to take care of ourselves. Everyone at the guild has a story about her. When Lucy’s dad was behind Phantom Heart’s attack against Fairy Tail, Erza fought for her and stood up for her every step of the way. When Wendy found out Cait Shelter wasn’t real, Erza welcomed her with open arms. She’s our older sister.”

It’s nothing Jellal hasn’t guessed for himself, but his heart aches hearing it anyways.

“She was always like that then, too,” Jellal imparts, unsure how much he should say. Erza’s past and present are things she’s determined to keep separate, and he’s determined to keep her privacy. “She always loved at the cost of herself.”

“It’s funny,” Natsu wonders out loud. “She always said that about you.”

Jellal blinks, taken aback. He’d had no clue that Erza ever talked about her past with her guild mates. He wouldn’t have guessed that she’d dare.

Jellal had been the demon who’d haunted her every waking moment until his death in the Tower. He’d never deserved her. The idea that she’d look upon the people they once were with warmth is foreign to me.

“If you think I can’t tell when a guild truly cares about each other, you’re dead wrong,” Natsu insists. “They already blabbed about how you said if one of them didn’t want to join Fairy Tail, you wouldn’t either.”

Jellal tries not to groan. He’s sure he has Erik to thank for that little reveal. He’d told the others that in earnest not wanting to force them into the transition, but of course Erik would tell Natsu during one of their dragon slayer nights or whatever those two did.

“And you ended up here in the end, didn’t you?”

Jellal wouldn’t be here if guilt left him easily. “But I could’ve-“

“You’ve got a knack of being there where she needs you,” Natsu interrupts. “You’ve always been a part of Fairy Tail, so get that through your thick head before I beat some sense into you and smack that guild mark on myself.”

…

Wendy is a sweet girl, so at the very least, she doesn’t bother with the drawn out shenanigans Natsu had thought was necessary.

Wendy merely waves at him bashfully as Jellal walks across the cobblestone streets of Magnolia, making her presence clear without much fanfare. Jellal appreciates such transparency after what had transpired previously.

“Wendy,” Jellal says with a smile. “What brings you here?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Wendy’s eyes shift to the side awkwardly where Carla no doubt hides. “Is this a good time?”

Something about the urgency in Wendy’s eyes gives Jellal the feeling that she wants to ditch Carla as soon as possible, so his suggestion is easy. “Would you like to stop by my home with me? Meredy should be home as well about now if you’d like to see her.”

Wendy’s eyes glow a bit at that. Though Jellal isn’t sure whether Meredy and Wendy have ever been close, Jellal gets the feeling that Meredy’s magic is at the very least incredibly interesting to Wendy. Wendy beams in agreement. “That sounds great.”

The walk is brief, and Jellal has no qualms starting small talk in the meantime. “How have you been, Wendy? It feels as though it’d been some time since I’ve last spoken with you.”

“I’ve been good,” Wendy agrees freely with a blinding smile. “I’ve been learning a bunch of really cool spells. I’ve been focusing so much on offensive spells lately that I feel like I’ve been slacking on my status enhancement ones, so I’ve been going back and looking through those to see if I can tweak them.”

Jellal mulls over her words with a hum. “Meredy would likely have some very interesting input to that end if you’re curious. I helped her a lot with enhancement spells previously as she was refining her magic, though admittedly they’re not my strong suit since I’ve never had the chance to practically use them in battle.”

Wendy seems to contemplate as she accepts his answer. “I guess that makes sense. Your magic is very offensive, right?”

“In most cases, yes,” Jellal says easily. “There’s been a rare occasion where I’ve infused magical energy into enhancers like what happened with Natsu when he fought Zero, but those are generally sporadic instances.”

“Oh yeah, the flame of rebuke, right?” Wendy reaffirms. “Natsu told me about it. You have a lot of different magic types, right? Are they all offensive?”

“Yes,” Jellal says easily. “Though I admit that’s likely a shortcoming on my end. Offensive spells are only so useful when you aren’t able to supplement your forces for longterm battles.”

“That’s the point of a team, isn’t it?” Wendy’s eyes turn into crescents as she smiles.

Jellal blinks slowly, absorbing the truth in her words. Ultimately, Wendy is correct. Jellal has never felt the need to learn support spells, especially when he’s always had either Meredy or Ultear at his side. Both mages were proficient with battle enhancement spells, so Jellal had seen no need to learn such a skill.

They reach a stop as Jellal spies his and Meredy’s temporary residence. Jellal opens the front door, leading Wendy in with a flourish that she giggles at. “Your wisdom never fails.”

Meredy’s voice echoes from the bedroom as the two of them walk in. “Jellal, is that you?”

“Yes,” Jellal confirms. “I brought Wendy with me, if you’d like to say hi.”

Meredy’s head peeks from the small gap between the bedroom door and the wall, and her face glows as she recognizes the younger mage. “Hi, Wendy!”

Wendy waves with a small smile. “Hi, Meredy. I heard you were in town from Juvia.”

The bedroom door bangs open as Meredy seems to have decided that her outfit is acceptable, smoothing down her dress as she walks into the kitchen and Jellal spies the mess of clothes she’s left behind behind the door frame.

“Juvia’s so sweet,” Meredy says forlornly. “I wish I could spend more time at the guild, you all are so fun!”

“You’re always welcome to join,” Wendy says kindly, to which Meredy glares at Jellal. Jellal merely sighs in acceptance of his fate.

“I would love to, but someone has his head stuck up his ass,” Meredy grumbles.

Jellal gestures for Wendy to move towards the small living space the two of them have, motioning for her to sit on one of the couches to which she obliges.

“Did you want any tea, Wendy?” Meredy asks kindly, ever a good host. She got it from Ultear, Jellal’s sure. Jellal has always been miserable at having guests over.

“That would be lovely,” Wendy smiles.

“Would you mind making me a cup?” Jellal asks out of habit before he realizes what the inevitable answer is.

“Idiots don’t get tea,” Meredy scoffs as she takes the milk out from the cooling lacrima and reaches for the spice rack.

Jellal winces. He supposes he deserves that.

Wendy’s eyes drift between the two of them awkwardly, as if wondering if she’s allowed to comment on the growing tension from Meredy. Eventually, Wendy seems to accept her fate and takes the plunge in asking. “Is everything alright?”

“He’s being stupid, don’t concern yourself with him,” Meredy huffs to herself, not even bothering to look away from the kitchen. “He keeps refusing to join a guild with me.”

“Oh, really?” Wendy asks confused, and the words tumble out of her mouth before Jellal can stop her. “I thought he was joining Fairy Tail.”

Jellal sinks even further into the couch he’s chosen for himself. Intrigue sparks in Meredy's eyes. Jellal already knows he’s in trouble.

“Is he now,” Meredy says dangerously as her eyes move to Jellal. “Something you forgot to tell me?”

“I wanted to ask before I told you,” Jellal groans, searing his eyes shut before he can face Meredy’s wrath. “I didn’t want to join if it would be a burden.”

Jellal doesn’t want to enter Fairy Tail if anyone still harbors resentment towards him. He sees no reason to exacerbate anyone’s grief. He knows his sins, and he’s claimed them as his own.

That, and he wouldn’t want any of his past misdeeds reflecting badly towards Meredy. Any ill will against him should either be resolved before his entry or singularly focused on him. He has no intention of worsening anyone’s quality of life with his presence.

“Has there been any fuss?” Meredy’s stern gaze falters as she takes in the true meaning of his words.

Jellal pauses, unsure of how to answer her question.

“You ran, didn’t you?” Meredy stares at him, unimpressed.

Jellal’s silence speaks a thousand words, even as Wendy rushes to his defense. “I don’t think he meant to run. It was stressful. The guild can be a lot, I don’t blame you.”

Something about the edge to her voice tells Jellal that the sentiment isn’t just placating words to Wendy. Vaguely, Jellal remembers how he and Wendy had been avoiding Carla’s watchful gaze.

Meredy raises an eyebrow at Jellal, greatly amused as she speaks unspoken words with her glance - she didn’t deny you running.

“Thank you, Wendy,” Jellal says wearily.

“That’s kind of why I came here,” Wendy says kindly. “If you need any help getting settled with the guild, you can always come to me! Big guilds can be kind of scary, and you’ve always been very nice to me.”

“That’s very kind of you, Wendy,” Jellal smiles at her compassion. “I know that it truly was a case of mistaken identity, but I truly would not have made it out of that forest without you.”

Wendy’s face falls just a bit and Jellal can’t help but feel bad. He’d assumed Mystogan was likely still an awkward topic between them, but Jellal had hoped to shatter that awkwardness through upfrontly discussing it together. Instead, it appears he’s done nothing but hurt Wendy’s feelings.

Before he can apologize for his transgression, Wendy speaks. “You remind me a lot of him sometimes. Though you’re different people, I don’t think it’s wrong to say that you’re very alike.”

“That’s an honor I’ll strive to live up to,” Jellal admits, knowing she likely doesn’t mean the comparison lightly. Mystogan had meant so much to Wendy, enough that his impact on her life had overwritten all the sins Jellal had committed when the girl had chosen to save him.

Jellal owes Wendy his life in so many ways. Both for choosing to save him, and for giving him hope to keep living when buried in a memory-blurred sea of past sins.

“You’re already really cool as is,” Wendy smiles softly. “I don’t think there is anything else to live up to. You believed in me more than I did back then. I don’t know if I would’ve made it this far without your encouragement.”

“You undervalue your own abilities,” Jellal says easily. “You eventually would’ve realized the depth of your strength.”

Wendy flusters at his praise, but before she can stutter out an embarrassed reply, Meredy places a cup of tea in front of Wendy.

It’s Meredy who speaks the words on Jellal’s tongue. “Is everything alright?”

“Uh, no?” Wendy’s eyes go wide immediately. “I’m fine, I think.”

Meredy and Jellal don’t even have to exchange a glance to know that the response is deeply unsatisfactory.

“If you’d ever like to talk about anything, we are here for you,” Jellal says carefully. “I’m sure anyone from your guild would be more than willing as well if you would be more comfortable that way.”

“Ah, no,” Wendy winces, seeming to realize her dismissal was unsuccessful. “It’s nothing serious, really.”

“It doesn’t have to be serious for it to matter to you,” Meredy says gently.

“It’s Carla,” Wendy frowns, finally seeming to give into her emotions as she sighs. “It’s not- she’s my closest friend, and I love her a whole lot, but she can be really… protective.”

Honestly, Jellal can’t say he’s surprised. He’d gathered that the situation was something like this from Wendy’s eagerness to flee Carla’s vision earlier, but still, it evokes a sense of pride within him to see Wendy gain such confidence in her own abilities.

“That makes sense,” Meredy nods in understanding. “You’re growing up, it’s natural that you want a bit more space.”

“I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but I want to do things for myself,” Wendy’s face falls at that, unsure of how to verbalize her feelings without seeming dismissive. “I didn’t mind it so much before when I was so much weaker, but now I can’t help but feel a little frustrated with her for not giving me space.”

“You’re not ungrateful,” Meredy says softly as Jellal comes to a realization of his own. “Just because it’s out of a place of care doesn’t mean she should be making decisions for you.”

“I just don’t want to hurt her feelings,” Wendy pleads. “She’s been my big sister for my whole life.”

“...You want to be able to make your own decisions without her deciding them for you,” Jellal surmises eventually, struggling not to look at Meredy even though he’s sure her eyes bore into him. “It’s an understandable concern.”

“Yeah,” Wendy frowns. “It was already hard for both of us when we joined the guild because we had so many other people around. I don’t want her to think I don’t need her anymore, because I do.”

“I’m sure this realization is hard for both of you,” Jellal tries to reassure the dragon slayer. “But she loves you more than anything, right? I’m sure you’ll understand if you tell her gently.”

“You’re right,” Wendy seems to almost droop at the realization. “It’s just… we were all we had for so long. I don’t want her to think she still can't come to me.”

“Then tell her that,” Meredy smiles finally, voice suspiciously wet as she clears her throat. “Better yet, prove it. You guys could go on a trip or job after to prove that nothing has really changed.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Wendy brightens at the suggestion, finishing her tea in a final few sips. “There was a job on the board that we could definitely do together. I should grab that before someone else does.”

“I wish you well, Wendy,” Jellal sends her off with a smile, but not before she walks over to him and reaches over to give him a hug.

“Thank you,” Wendy whispers into his shoulder quickly.

Jellal blinks in surprise, taken aback by the gesture, but eventually he leans into it. It’s a brief embrace, just long enough to feel the sensation.

Wendy moves over to exchange a quick hug with Meredy as well, who seems equally surprised by the affection.

“You can come over any time, kid,” Meredy smiles.

“You were barely much older than me before Tenrou, you know,” Wendy remarks petulantly.

“Shame,” Meredy deadpans, reaching over to pull on one of Wendy’s pigtails.

Wendy pouts at that exchange, but it’s not long before she’s dashing away and waving them a quick goodbye. “I’ll see you guys at the guild soon, right?”

Jellal and Meredy exchange a glance, with her allowing him to speak in their place. Jellal smiles quietly. “Right.”

Wendy leaves like the wind, swiftly and gently.

It’s only after Wendy’s gone that Meredy speaks again.

“I’m sorry for being so harsh on you,” she says quietly, placing her cup of tea in front of him.

“Don’t be, I was being foolish,” Jellal simply shakes his head no at her peace offering, instead moving to grab another cup. He pours three fourths of the contents in another glass and places it before Meredy.

Meredy frowns. “You could at least take the larger portion.”

“I’ll make some more later,” Jellal reassures. “I just needed a bit of caffeine to stave off my headache.”

The revelation only seems to make Meredy feel worse much to Jellal’s chagrin. She bites at her lower lip furiously, anguished by some inner turmoil.

“You’re too kind to me,” Meredy whispers carefully. “I should’ve been more understanding.”

Her voice is wet - too wet. Jellal can’t help the way his eyes widen with fear as a tear slips from Meredy’s eyes.

“Don’t cry,” Jellal tries to console her though he’s sure it just comes out nervous beyond belief. “I am aware I can be incredibly stubborn. I needed to hear that from you.”

“But still,” Meredy sniffles, burying her face in her hands. “I know exactly what you’ve been going through. I know this hasn't been easy for you but you’re still trying for me, and I’ve been so unsupportive.”

Jellal can’t hold back the urge to reach forward and pull Meredy into his arms. She settles into his arms, leaning into his shoulder as she smears it with her snot. Jellal can’t say he gives a damn about the fact that he’s going to have to run this through some cleaning spells later.

“You were right,” Jellal says freely. “About all of it. I was hurting you, even if I thought it was in your best interests.”

“That’s not it,” Meredy’s words cut through her teary sobs muffled into his cloak. “I just… you keep acting like I’ll be better off without you.”

“Meredy-” Jellal tries to soothe her, running a hand down her back gently in a calming gesture the same way Ultear would, but the young girl isn’t having it.

“You’re all I have,” Meredy whispers. “Please, don’t make me leave you. I don’t want to move on without you, so don’t leave me.”

Jellal clutches her even tighter at that, moved by her simple gesture. Meredy has been his only constant all these years. In all those years Erza was gone, Ultear and Meredy were the only people he had. Then Ultear had passed, and it had only been him and Meredy trying to put together the pieces of their wretched future to make a puzzle worth living in.

He had never thought of letting Meredy find happiness as leaving her behind. He had always thought it’d be the natural evolution of her life, that she’d find happiness beyond this life of redemption and she’d find something better, but he’d forgotten the most important thing about Meredy.

Meredy loves more than anyone else. Jellal had been there when she lost Ultear and their worlds had shattered. Jellal had been there to pick the pieces up after Meredy and Ultear’s relationship had fragmented after the dissolution of Grimoire Heart.

He has seen Meredy through her worst and best moments, along with everything in between. Enough so that he has no excuse not to know the truth about her by now.

The truth is that above anything else in the world, what Meredy fears most is being abandoned by the people she cares about. His breath shudders within his chest, exhaling shakily as he puts his thoughts together.

“I won’t leave you,” Jellal swears into Meredy’s shoulder. “I promise. We’ll do this together.”

…

Gray Fullbuster finds Jellal much to both of their apparent surprise. Jellal hasn’t found many haunts in Magnolia as of yet, but there’s been a few rooftops and alleyways he enjoys dwelling in for his own personal reprieve.

Jellal has always enjoyed the silence of his own company and nothing more. He supposes it was only natural that this specific alleyway would end up being caught in a custody battle between two like-minded folk.

See, as Jellal moves to lean against the brick wall and make himself at home as he always does, he’s instead met with a strikingly familiar face. Gray Fullbuster is left leaning into the wall, rummaging through a bag full of assorted items, and staring at Jellal with the same degree of intrigued surprise as Jellal.

After an embarrassingly long period of staring at the other in blank silence, Gray seems to come up with a semblance of a conversation starter.

“You smoke?” Gray asks, side eyeing Jellal.

“No,” Jellal admits freely. Ultear had always hated the stench too much to allow it to become a part of his evil dictator facade, and Jellal’s body had already been through enough unhealthy practices in his childhood. He didn’t need an excuse to have even more health issues. “Do you?”

“No,” Gray says, amused. “Used to though. I found my old stash of smokes and I don’t know what to do with em. I’m tryna see if anyone wants them, but no one at the guild knows I used to smoke, so it’s kind of hard to find any takers without getting my ass kicked.”

Jellal tries to imagine Erza finding out about such a truth, and immediately, he winces. He supposes that explanation makes sense. But still, Jellal blinks carefully. “I was under the impression cigarettes went stale quite easily.”

With a flourish of his fingers, snowflakes dust the air. Against Jellal’s better judgment, it reminds him of Ultear and her rare displays of maker magic. “Froze ‘em.”

“Ah,” Jellal ponders. “That makes sense.”

The silence drags between them awkwardly, enough so that Jellal eventually cuts through it for the lack of any other option. “Was there something you wanted to say to me?”

“Depends,” Gray leans into the wall, his glower intimidating as he stares down Jellal. “Was there something you wanted to say to me?”

The ice mage’s jaw is set firmly, and it then dawns on Jellal that Gray has a multitude of reasons to potentially be furious with Jellal. Whether it be due to Erza, because of his relationship with Ultear, or even Jellal’s former ties to Zeref, repentance is the only path forward to him.

Jellal is under no impression that Gray and Erza are not close friends. That, and Jellal has an inert desire for Gray to not despise him, as surprising as it is.

Jellal’s jaw opens, then closes again, at an utter loss for words. Eventually, he chokes out a sentence. “I’m… sorry?”

Gray’s mouth twitches upward. After what seems like a conflicted two seconds of fighting with his emotions, he leans his head back and laughs so hard he bends into it.

Jellal’s jaw twitches as he raises an eyebrow. “Is something funny?”

“You looked so nervous,” Gray manages to bring his laughter under control eventually. “Couldn’t resist.”

“Laugh it up,” Jellal sighs, already beyond exhausted with the happenings of today.

“I interrogated Natsu already, don’t worry,” Gray waves him off. “Just wanted to see it for myself.”

“See what?”

“You,” Gray gestures to Jellal’s… everything. “Trying to make amends or whatever. Thought I’d get my five jewel in before you get too comfortable with the guild.”

So Jellal was an investment to Gray. Wonderful.

“I… suppose that makes sense,” Jellal admits despite himself.

“Honestly man, the whole brooding thing is starting to get embarrassing,” Gray says. “And that’s coming from me.”

“Bold words,” Jellal utters with a raised brow knowing of Gray’s disposition from Ultear.

“Hey, our team doesn’t need another one,” Gray huffs, amused. “And I’m not willing to give up my spot just yet.”

Jellal’s eyes widen at the implication. “You’d want me to join your team?”

“I mean, yeah,” Gray shrugs nonchalantly. “Sure, you were a jackass at first, but I’d be a hypocrite if you’re where I draw the line. What with Juvia, Gajeel, Laxus, Ultear…”

His words taper off at her mention. Jellal’s mind clouds.

“She cared for you,” Jellal says finally, unsure what help his admission will provide.

Gray merely nods tersely, glancing at Jellal knowingly. “I guess I should thank you for that.”

“Me?” Jellal repeats, taken aback.

“You were good for her,” Gray confesses freely. “I despised the person I was before I joined Fairy Tail, you know. I didn’t see a purpose in living after all the lives I’d taken, but it was Erza and Natsu who helped me see beyond that and find something worth living for.”

It’s so naively Fairy Tail for him to believe this is a balm for Jellal’s pain. This idea all together is so uniquely Fairy Tail - this idea that love and family is enough to save all of them in the end.

The truth is, no matter what Meredy and Jellal were to Ultear, Ultear had chosen to die anyway. Ultear had decided that her life was not worth living, and she’d chosen to sacrifice herself for the man in front of him.

Ultear had told them that their duty was to continue living, while shirking her own duty in favor of their future. She was selfish and she was cruel, but the truth is Jellal and Meredy could never have been enough for her to keep going.

“You flatter me, but clearly it wasn’t enough,” Jellal smiles wearily.

“She wouldn’t forgive either of us for blaming ourselves,” Gray admits heavily, and Jellal hates that he knows Gray is right. “You were her family, even after everything she’s done. I’m glad she had someone at the end.”

Isn’t that such a guttural look into their world? Leave it to Gray Fullbuster to casually flip Jellal’s world on its head without a second thought. Of course Gray would believe everyone is deserving of a family, of a home to go back to at the end of the day.

“You’re kind,” Jellal says softly.

“I wouldn’t call it kindness,” Gray snorts, amused. “Erza’s gonna be a goner when you join up. She’ll probably get off my back for a couple weeks.”

Jellal can’t help but smile at their easy familiarity. Erza truly does have people who care for her in the guild.

“Besides,” Gray muses finally. “I kind of owe it to you at this point.”

Jellal furrows his brows, confused at the admission. “What?”

“Ultear’s time magic saved my life. I owe her everything,” Gray admits carefully. “And as far as repayment goes, I think protecting her family isn’t too bad.”

Family. That is what they had been, family. All those years of forged togetherness and joint redemption, and along the way, they’d created the true nature of a guild. They’d found solace in one another, up until Ultear had sacrificed her life and left the two of them alone.

And that somehow is Jellal’s breaking point - that Ultear would dare die before she could see the end of their journeys. How could she choose to end it all when they were all still so early in their journey? How could she abandon them before they evolved into fully realized versions of themselves? How could she leave this world before she’s learned to embrace hope along with him and Meredy?

A day will come when Jellal lives beyond the age Ultear ever reached. Ultear had been four years older than Jellal - that time difference had seemed so insignificant back during their journey together, but now every second Jellal spends roaming this earth without her company is a weight on his shoulders.

His eyes water, and even though he rubs at his face hoping for their disappearance, they don’t cease.

“What,” Gray’s eyes widen in alarm, waving his hands furiously in front of him. “What’d I say? I’ll take it back. I didn’t mean it, I swear. Look, I’ll make it up to you. Jeez, Erza’s gonna kill me if I already-”

“I apologize,” Jellal furiously wipes his face, “I simply hadn’t- I haven’t talked about Ultear with someone who truly knew her in some time.”

Hatred for Ultear comes naturally to most people. Though generally Jellal would consider Erza one of his closest confidants, the truth remains that Erza will never be able to see beyond as the woman who took their liberation from them.

Jellal cannot blame her. In fact, in some ways, he’s glad to see that she isn’t infallible in her feelings. Jellal is so easily accustomed to wickedness and darkness; in some ways, he’s grateful to see that she too is beholden to the submission of human emotion.

He cannot ask her to see beyond the woman who demolished any chance they had to leave the tower, because some nights, he cannot see past that person himself. No matter how much he may love Ultear and the person she was to him, she lead him on this road of a damned existence. Yet, even still, she is the only person Jellal had for so many years.

Though there is no doubt Ultear and Meredy were exceptionally close, Ultear had played the role of Meredy’s mother. Meredy’s memories of Ultear would always be illuminated in a softer glow, and it felt cruel to ever taint that memory.

Gray Fullbuster speaks about her as if he is someone who truly knew her, flaws and all. He knows the cruelty she was capable of, and the love that emerged in spite of it.

Gray lets out a shallow sigh in relief, accepting Jellal’s words as he contemplates the situation. “I doubt it was easy for you both.”

“Both of us had complicated relationships with her and her legacy,” Jellal admits. “A part of this has been about doing right by her wishes.”

Gray laughs despite himself. “For someone who booked it, she sure had a lot of demands, huh?”

Jellal can’t help but degree, ignoring the callous wording. “She wanted Meredy to live a life untouched by the darkness, and Meredy refused to join if I didn’t.”

Gray smiles, amused by that revelation. “Oh, she’d get along great with Natsu.”

Jellal can’t help but smile in acknowledgement. “Yes, I suppose they are equally stubborn.”

“I do mean it though,” Gray says casually. “For the both of you. You’re more than welcome to join us on jobs if you’re ever feeling up to the ruckus that follows.”

“Isn’t that what Fairy Tail’s all about?” Jellal smiles. He cannot find a more apt description of the guild than the ruckus that follows.

“We’ll make a real Fairy Tail wizard of you yet,” Gray smirks. “I’m sure you’ll be barrel surfing in no time.”

Jellal blinks aimlessly, utterly befuddled. “I’m sorry, what?”

“What, you haven’t-” Gray squints until his eyes widen in realization. “Guess you didn’t have much nightlife going on with the possession and then redemption, huh.”

“You forgot the part where I was dead, an amnesiac, then in jail. But yes, you’d be correct, Ultear didn’t think it was pertinent to take me bar hopping while we planned to revive Zeref,” Jellal says dryly. “That, and with a teenage girl for years certainly didn’t leave me with a lot of free time.”

“Wow, you really are a hermit,” Gray sounds so genuinely befuddled that Jellal can’t even find it within himself to be offended. “Even Mystogan was more well-versed, and he was a full-blown antisocial loser.”

“I see,” Jellal doesn’t really know what to do with the realization that his isolation transcends the cross-world barrier.

“No, it was really bad,” Gray seems to ham up the emphasis. “Like he’d put everyone to sleep before he entered the guild so he didn’t have to talk to anyone bad.”

Jellal blinks. “I… apologize?”

“No, this is great,” it’s only now that Jellal understands the comparison people draw between Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel - though at first glance Gray may seem more easy-going and cool, both hold the same passion and steadfast determination to cause chaos. “We can show you how to do it the Fairy Tail way. I’ll get Mira to line up the shots, we’re giving you a real Fairy Tail welcome.”

“There’s no need, really,” Jellal reassures, his social aversion setting in.

A smirk settles on Gray’s face. “Y’know, Erza’s a champion at barrel surfing.”

“...Is she now.”

“Oh yeah, queen of her domain,” Gray goads. “A real powerhouse. All I’m saying is, if you wanna leave a real impression, I’m sure she’d love to see you engaging in a real guild tradition.”

Jellal pauses, looking to the side. He takes in the absolutely shit eating grin on Gray’s face, and ponders sincerely.

“I’ll think about it.”

…

Jellal finds Lucy Heartfilia in a bookstore. It’s a dingy little place, littered with spell books that most wizards look over without a second thought. The lighting is dim and the area is cramped, but it serves its purpose more than well enough. In fact, Jellal would argue that it’s probably the best spell book shop in all of Magnolia.

The real point of contention comes when instead of being met with the spell book he’d reserved on magical projection, he’s met with Lucy Heartfilia with an unsurprised look on her face.

Lucy Heartfilia is a woman to be feared. Though many dismiss her due to her not being the strongest mage of her guild, or even of her team, Jellal knows enough about her to know that anyone who dares overwrite her is making what may be the largest mistake of their lives.

Anything Lucy Heartfilia lacks in brute strength she makes up for in raw heart. It’s her greatest quality. She is the living embodiment of Fairy Tail in that way.

She’s dressed casually in a simple skirt, sweater, and tights. Jellal can’t help but recognize her fashion sense as being with the times. It reminds him of Meredy in a way; he’s sure he’s seen a similar outfit in her rotation.

“Lucy,” Jellal says carefully. “It’s good seeing you.”

“Jellal,” Lucy’s smile is thin. “Can I be honest with you?”

At the very least, Jellal is glad that she leaves no room for nonsense or flattery. There’s no semblance of small talk with her. When it comes to the things she loves, Lucy gets straight to the point. That’s what makes her who she is.

“Of course,” Jellal accepts her words easily, preparing for her criticism.

“You’re way too hard on yourself,” she scolds, holding nothing back. “I don’t get why you refuse to move on. It’s depressing to watch.”

“I…” Jellal falters, at a loss for words. It’s not an unfamiliar sentiment to be faced with, but he does not want to argue with Erza’s closest companions.

“She told me about you after the Tower, you know,” Lucy admits freely.

“I would’ve thought she’d want those secrets to die with her.”

Lucy smacks him on the arm. Jellal is surprised enough by the outburst that he just accepts it as part of his penance. “This is exactly what I mean. I don’t know how she can stand you.”

“...I find myself surprised as well,” Jellal admits.

“Men,” Lucy groans. “You sound just like Gray, and his whole deal is exhausting enough to deal with as is. I mean really. You don’t think she didn’t feel conflicted after you died saving her after all that?”

He remembers so little of his thoughts after Ultear had given up on his body once the Ethernano canon had been about to fire. All he remembers was an overwhelming desire to preserve his scarlet light just a moment longer. It’d been an unending desire for her life to carry onward that had outweighed all survival instinct in his body.

All that had mattered had been her life. He supposed it was somewhat selfish to spend Erza’s life as the bane of her very existence and then throw it all away saving her.

“I suppose that makes sense,” Jellal accepts eventually. “I never meant to hurt her.”

“No, I think it helped in a way,” Lucy doesn’t care to entertain his self pity, thinking only of her friend. “She was so confused by how you could go from the kindest person she knew to the person you became. I think it soothed her to know that deep within, the boy she loved never died.”

Jellal stalls at the easy admission, openly gawking at Lucy enough that she feels the need to follow up.

“What, did I say something?” she asks, taken aback by Jellal’s prying stare.

“Loved is… a strong word,” Jellal finishes eventually.

“Oh,” Lucy gasps realizing her choice of words, covering her mouth. “Did she not tell you?”

“She told you that?” Jellal gapes, openly shocked.

Lucy winces, squirming as she tries to make a swift recovery. “Do you disagree?”

“I-” Jellal stumbles, struggling to find his footing. “Things were different then. We were so young, and our world was so small. All we had was each other.”

Lucy smiles fondly at that, seeming to recollect Erza’s words. “Yeah, that’s a lot more like what Erza said. Love doesn’t have to be romantic love, you know. All I meant was you both cared for each other in a way that was incredibly special.”

“I can’t refute that,” Jellal admits finally.

“And now?” Lucy presses onwards. “What’s your intention in joining?”

“I’d be lucky to have her for however long she’s willing to have me,” Jellal settles on an answer eventually. “It’s come to my attention that the only person I’m hurting with my revenge streak is the people who love me.”

Lucy blinks carefully, and then she smiles. “That’s all I wanted to hear. ”

“I’d say that I’d neuter you if you hurt Erza, but we both know she’s more than capable of doing that on her own,” Lucy admits. “I did want to say that your mark of approval isn’t contingent on her, though. She may be one of my closest friends, but you’re not here because of her.”

Jellal pauses, taking in the depths of Lucy’s words. It’s an olive branch, and a meaningful one at that. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Hey, I mean it,” Lucy says amused. “Joining up with these freaks is plenty intimidating as is, even without the tragic villain turned anti hero backstory. Trust me, I’d know. Fairy Tail is a family, so let us try to be that for you, yeah?”

“You want me to try to make some friends?” Jellal inquires, unsure of the true meaning of her words.

“Or, god forbid, mingle,” Lucy snorts. “Don’t be a loner is all I’m saying. We all want you here, so don’t walk in with one foot out the door.”

“I appreciate it,” Jellal says meaningfully, though not without contemplating the reality of his situation. “I’m beginning to get the feeling that I wouldn’t be permitted to be a loner even if I wished to be.”

Lucy groans into her hands, seemingly finger counting on which member of the guild could’ve embarrassed them all this time. “Who was it? I know Natsu’s a guarantee, but I doubt he’s the only one. Was it Elfman? Jet? Gray? Loke?”

Jellal blinks, taking in the names as he reveals his answer. “Gray offered, yes. Laxus seemed interested as well.”

“Laxus?” Lucy exclaims, jaw dropped as she seems to collect her thoughts. “Laxus wanted you?”

“I believe he mentioned the Thunder Legion,” Jellal recalls.

“I wouldn’t even blame you for turning us down,” Lucy admits in her complete and utter shock. “I’m pretty sure Lisanna’s still jumping through hoops to get in, and Bickslow and Freed have vouched for her over and over again. Laxus hasn’t let anyone join the Thunder Legion for years at this point.”

“I hadn’t realized it was such an honor,” Jellal muses silently to himself as he remembers Laxus and Mira’s lackadaisical attitudes to the offer.

“If Laxus had let me join upon first joining the guild, I definitely still wouldn’t be stuck with these freaks,” Lucy mutters under her breath.

“Don’t sell yourself so short,” Jellal can’t help but smile at that. “I’m sure there are some upsides to your team.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure,” Lucy grumbles. “If you’re counting all of them breaking into my apartment without any warning. Not to mention having to deal with Natsu and Gray’s idiotic bickering all the time; it was bad enough when they were opposites in their elements but now that it’s in their magic classes too, it’s insufferable. Erza’s luggage takes up a full train car, and Natsu and Wendy get motion sickness at every single turn so I have to deal with that so Erza doesn’t just knock them both out and leave them on the train. Plus their complete and utter lack of any self-preservation, and the fact that those three probably share one singular brain cell combined. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the reason we get into all this nonsense, but then I remember Natsu’s dumb enough to try to fight anything with legs, and the rest of them are all stupid enough to follow him.”

Weakly, Jellal hopes to reassure her. “Wendy seems very sweet.”

“Oh, she’s lovely,” Lucy’s face brightens. “Those three snore insanely loud, and she’s learned some muffling spells so I can actually get a good night’s sleep.”

Then, her stink eye returns. “You don’t snore, do you?”

“Not to my knowledge, no,” Jellal says too quickly, terrified of sparking her ire.

“Oh, thank god,” Immediately, her face smooths out into a calmer temperament. “I need another muffler between all of us.”

Jellal doesn’t really know what to do with being promoted to the status of Team Natsu’s muffler. “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” her smile is blinding. “Y’know, you’re hardly as intimidating as you seem.”

“I’m not sure if I should be insulted by that.”

“No, not at all!” Lucy insists, gesturing to Jellal’s… everything. “Beneath all that, you’re a pretty nice guy. You’re not bad to talk to.”

“I generally had to stay aloof previously to make our job easier,” Jellal admits. “It’s rare that I had the opportunity to make friends on the path toward redemption.”

“Well, you’re on the right track,” Lucy reassures. “Y’know, Erza could barely tell us anything about your life before the Tower. I’m kinda curious.”

Jellal blinks, not expecting that segue. “Feel free to ask. It’s no secret. but I am frankly not very well-informed about my family background. I do not remember very much before the Tower.”

Lucy tilts his head, seeming to further contemplate something. “You wouldn’t happen to have any princely ancestry, would you?”

“Not to my knowledge, no,” Jellal responds, perplexed at the sudden turn of conversation. Jellal’s mother hadn’t even been able to afford basic necessities for them after his father passed; his childhood had been far from princely in that regard.

At Jellal’s completely baffled stare at the line of questioning, Lucy seems to decide her accusations can’t get much wilder from here. “Any blood relation to a certain Master Makarov?”

Jellal cannot even begin to wonder where that thought came from. He can’t think of a single familiar resemblance between him and the guild master. Not to mention that it would make him and Laxus blood relatives by some stretch of the imagination. Jellal nearly shudders at the thought.

“My father has been dead for as long as I remember,” Jellal states blankly.

“Well, that’ll do it,” Lucy mutters under his breath quietly. “What was with the whole Siegrain thing anyways?”

Jellal hesitates, unsure how deeply he is expected to answer. “It was my name once. I denounced it shortly after I was taken to the Tower.”

He supposes he’ll spare her of the full tragic backstory. Though it truly isn’t a secret anymore, somehow it feels wrong for the first person he tells to not be either Erza or Meredy.

“Huh,” Lucy muses, seeming to put the pieces together but filing them away for her own introspection. Jellal can work with that.

“You work with Celestial Spirit magic, correct?” Jellal wonders openly, a question he’s long contemplated but has never found the right time to ask.

“Yup,” Lucy places her hand against her satchel where her keys undoubtedly rest. “I never leave home without ‘em. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing particularly, I just remembered that you attempted to perform Urano Metria during the Grand Magic Games,” Jellal recalls. “I believe that our magics are likely from the same magical family.”

Lucy’s eyes glow with interest. “Really? I’ll be honest, I don’t know as much about the origin points of magic as Levy, but that’s super interesting. Does that mean I could potentially use some of your spells if I trained it?”

Jellal confirms her suspicions with a simple nod. “The same would be true vice versa, though admittedly caster type magic and summoner type magic require very different skill sets to perform. Summoner magic requires passive magical welling, while caster type requires forced expulsion. You seem to already have experience with offensive spells, so I’d presume it’d be easier for you to perform my magic if you wished.”

“Huh, interesting,” Lucy muses, taking in the information carefully. Her smile turns teasing after. “So even the Wizard Saint admits he isn’t capable of everything? I’m surprised; I would’ve thought you’d be used to summoner style magic after all that effort you put in with that double of yours.”

“Ex-Wizard Saint,” Heat flashes to Jellal’s cheeks. “You underestimate your abilities - you are a very capable mage. It’s rare to see summoner mages ever reach your capacity and skill.”

“That means a lot coming from you,” Lucy’s smile breaks through, real and genuine. “I guess I’m not necessarily weak, but when you’re surrounded by powerhouses, strength starts to lose its meaning.”

“Believe me, the strength of your guild has always astounded me,” Jellal understands that more than anyone else. “You included. Your ability to persevere even while lacking a full magical education is something to be admired. Any technique you lack you make up for in raw strength and shear force of will. It is a sight to behold, truly.”

“You’re gonna make me blush,” Lucy says charmingly even though a flush has already risen to her cheeks. “But, uh- are you offering?”

“If you mean that you’d like to learn a few of my spells, I’d be honored,” Jellal says freely. “I believe there is a lot I could learn from your fighting style.”

“Me?” Lucy repeats, shocked. “My magic is nothing compared to yours.”

“Don’t dismiss yourself so quickly,” Jellal places no stock in her downplaying. “Our magics are sister magics, and the aspects of my ability I haven’t mastered happen to be parts you’ve honed perfectly. Besides, if there’s anything I’ve learned along my journey, it is that there is merit in combining magical techniques.”

“Could you imagine a unison raid?” Lucy seems to nearly vibrate in her seat at the thought. “With Urano Metria and Grand Chariot, we’d be unstoppable. Not to mention one with Loke - he’s Leo, by the way. Plus, I’m sure you could definitely pull off a single summon at the very least; don’t underplay your magical strength, humbleness doesn’t suit you.”

Jellal smiles at her passion. It’s endearing to encounter those as enveloped by magical practice as he is. Jellal has spent so much of his life devoted to magic that it’s incredibly soothing to find like-minded individuals. “I’d be honored to attempt your magic if you’re willing to teach me, but I’m afraid I don’t possess any keys currently.”

“Oh, easy,” Lucy dismisses his concern with a wave of her hand. “You can borrow some of mine to practice. Plus, I can lend you a few if we’re ever in a pinch. Trust me when I say that our team is insane; trouble will definitely find us. You’ll find an excuse to use them for sure.”

Jellal blinks, absorbing her words. “You would trust me to borrow your keys?”

“Well, yeah,” Lucy trails off, absorbing his bafflement with a stern expression. “You aren’t planning on doing anything weird with them, are you?”

“No,” Jellal insists immediately. “Absolutely not.”

“Then you’re fine,” Lucy shrugs. “I’m pretty protective about my keys, but I trust that you won't do anything bad with them. It’s not like you’ll be going far anyways when you end up teaming with us.”

It’s such a simple display of trust, but Jellal can’t help but be somewhat moved by it regardless. If there’s one thing Jellal knows about Lucy Heartfilia, it’s that her keys mean more to her than the entire world.

“Thank you for offering,” Jellal says meaningfully. “I’ll be sure to take you up on that. I would be honored to have the chance to teach you Heavenly Body Magic as well.”

“You better not back out now,” Lucy teases. “I need to pick your brain on spell combos. I’m not leaving you alone until I pop off a Grand Chariot of my own.”

Jellal smiles. He can certainly live with that.

…

When Erza walks into the guild hall, she really doesn’t expect to walk in to see every eye on her.

She’s always drawn attention. It’s a part of who she is. Whether it’s with her fancy armors, her personality, or her skills, she’s always a magnet for something. Yet today, she can’t even begin to imagine what it is.

She looks down to her armor. It’s the same as usual. Her basic silver adorned with a golden cross, her blue skirt flowing normally. Cautiously, she feels around on her face and senses nothing.

Confused, her eyes narrow as she wonders, stumped. “What is it? Is there something on my face?”

Her eyes wander across the guild carefully, and it isn’t until she glances over to the bar where Mira’s serving that she recognizes a familiar yet out of place face.

Jellal’s smile is warm, as it has always been. It lights her from the inside out, illuminates her and makes her feel alive. His voice is soft. “Erza.”

Mira just grins at Erza knowingly while Laxus slaps Jellal on the back hard enough he seems to nearly tip over. “Go get 'em, tiger.”

Jellal seems so eternally at a loss around Laxus that it’s impossible to not find it a little funny. Jellal’s spent his entire life being a caretaker. He was an older brother to the kids in the Tower before everything went south, and now he’s much the same to Crime Sorciere. So rarely has he ever been treated as anything but an authority figure. Laxus takes all those illusions and crumbles them to dust, leaving Jellal floundering in the one role he doesn’t know how to embody.

Erza was much the same when she first joined Fairy Tail, but growing up around so many people older than her who exerted positive parental influences on her had made all the difference. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that Jellal had his youth stolen from him.

“Jellal,” Erza smiles warmly. “What brings you here? You don’t usually come here this early.”

Or, to put it more truthfully, Jellal usually doesn’t come to Fairy Tail if she isn’t there unless he’s there for work. However, he undoubtedly seems to have made his appearance for leisure. It’s refreshing in a way to see Jellal let go of himself.

Jellal walks over to her carefully. He’s dressed impeccably, as per usual, in a snugly fitting black turtleneck and white pants, with his usual brown knee high boots on as well. She resolutely maintains eye contact and refuses to let her gaze scrape lower to his incredibly tight fitting shirt, let alone in front of the guild.

His hand is clenched, and it’s only then that she realizes that he must be nervous. It’s such a perplexing thought. They’ve been through hell and back together. They’ve fought Acnologia side by side, come back from the ends of the earth and stayed together no matter what. What could he possibly have to worry about with her at his side?

Jellal exhales calmly, seeming to placate himself enough to ask. “I have a question for you.”

Erza tries to put on as reassuring a smile as she can, but she’s sure it must fall flat a bit if the knowing look in his face is any indication. His nervousness always has a habit of getting to her - he’s as solid as stone. Something that can shake him truly must be world-ending. “Of course, you can ask me anything.”

“Some time ago, you offered me a spot as a member of Fairy Tail,” Jellal’s smile is cautious yet beautiful in every way, and Erza’s eyes widen in shock. “I know I’ve made you wait, but would you still be willing to offer me that recommendation?”

Erza is at a complete loss for words. Never in life did she think the day would come that Jellal would actually take her up on the offer. Yet here he is, right in front of her, offering her a lifetime at his side as opposed to catching every fleeting moment of each other.

Her mouth opens before she can stop it. “What about Meredy?”

“Meredy and Erik would be interested in joining as well,” Jellal returns solemnly, clearly already having given this deep thought.

Erza has no clue what to say. Her silence must get to him, so he gently follows his statement with a reassurance. “Only if you’ll have us, of course.”

He couldn’t be further from the reason for her silence.

Erza isn’t a hedonistic woman. She wants very few things, and she’s already got so much of what she loves in her life. She has her pastries, her friends, her guild, and her team. What more could she want in life?

The only thing she’s wanted that she knows she can’t have for years is Jellal.

And here he is, all but presenting himself on a silver platter for her in the name of a new start.

She almost thought this day would never come. They’ve been through so much together that the thought of a time without him by her side seems unthinkable. And here he is, giving her an olive branch so the idea of a life without him never has to be a reality.

“I don’t know,” Erza eventually hums teasingly. “It has been a few years after all, perhaps my recommendation was contingent.”

“Was it?” Jellal’s smile is boyish and it illuminates her with hope. “That’s a shame, then. I truly have no chance without you, you know. I’ve heard this guild is awfully competitive.”

“Hm,” Erza tilts her head to the side in mock-indecision, “Perhaps you’ll have to prove yourself to me then. Show me you have what it takes.”

“And how can I do that?” Jellal is dangerously close. She doesn’t know if she moved closer to him or if he’d moved closer to her, but either way they’re breathing each other’s air and she watches his cheeks begin to dust a light pink.

It’s so endearing. She wants to-

A shot glass comes hurtling their way, Erza catching it before it can hit them. She turns around to glare ferociously at the offender, only to see Evergreen’s unimpressed glance from the bar.

“Don’t eye-fuck in the doorway. Find a closet like the rest of us, you freaks,” Evergreen scowls.

“Pick a lane, Scarlet,” Laxus cuts in, clearly amused by the remark as Evergreen and Elfman stand suspiciously close to each other.

“We aren’t-” Erza exclaims, horrified at their judgment.

“Oh, stop it. Let them have their fun,” Mira elbows Laxus, to which he bends over in pain due to clearly not expecting the strike, before turning to Jellal. “The Master did want to talk to you after you guild mark though, so make it quick before he falls asleep on his district forms.”

Jellal’s eyes widen imperceptibly. “He wants to talk to me?”

“Oh, don’t be a worrywart,” Mirajane waves him off. “It’s nothing serious I’m sure.”

Erza turns to Jellal, wanting to be sure of something before she lets herself accept the weight of his words. “Why now?”

“I’d be lying if you and Meredy weren’t a large part of it,” Jellal admits warmly as her heart warms. “Even if I cannot ever truly be worthy of the light, it’s you I want by my side as I look forward.”

The warmth that spreads through her chest is unprecedented. Yet there’s a small nagging question on her mind. “Not all?”

“No,” Jellal’s smile is kind. “Believe it or not, I’ve started to enjoy it here.”

Somehow, that’s the most relieving thing she’s heard yet. She loves Jellal with everything that she has, and the idea of him carving a place for himself among her family truly means the world to her in a way she can’t begin to express.

Jellal deserves a chance at happiness. Erza’s starting to think that with Fairy Tail, he might just find a sliver of peace.

Erza laughs. “It’s an acquired taste, but I’m sure you’ll be just fine. You’ve dealt with everyone here more than enough to not have at least a little experience.”

Mira’s calls over from the bar, rustling through a box of things. “Any color preference?”

“Red,” Jellal is incredibly quick to answer.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Gray snorts, amused as he saunters over to the slowly growing audience.

Natsu stares at Gray in open confusion at his remark, to which Gray merely rolls his eyes and mutters something about Natsu being a dense idiot. Erza’s jaw unhinges to remind the two to get along, but Jellal speaks before she can.

“Preferably the same shade as my face mark,” Jellal acknowledges their presences with a swift nod. It’s nice to see that Jellal is making friends among the guild.

“Y’know, I’ve always wondered where you got that mark,” Mira asks freely. It’s then that it hits Erza that she doesn’t know either. Honestly, she’d never bothered to ask, even in the Tower. They’d had much more pressing issues on their minds back then - enough to ensure that a mysterious facial tattoo was the least of their worries.

Jellal just smiles. “I have to keep some mysteries, don’t I?”

“Finally getting your guild mark?” Gray asks, glancing over at Mira. “Bout time, man. It was getting kind of embarrassing for you.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” the heavenly body mage grumbles.

“No, I mean really,” Gray chuckles to himself while recalling a memory. “Meredy asked Juvia if she knew whether or not you were gonna get your shit together.”

Instead of flushing with embarrassment, Jellal seems as if he wishes he could find it in himself to be surprised. It wouldn’t be surprising behavior for Meredy to find any possible way to embarrass him. It’s endearing in a way. A reassurement of the fact that Jellal has people at his side.

“How is Meredy?” Erza asks pleasantly. “I would’ve thought you both would receive the emblem together.”

“She’s been good. I’d argue she almost has too much free time on her hands,” Jellal answers absentmindedly, mind clearly somewhere else.

“That’s a good thing, right?” Lucy pipes up, a smile on her face.

Erza’s eyes quickly dart around, and it’s then he’s observed that there’s a small group gathering. Wendy smiles up at the group and pleasantly waves.

“I offered to get the emblem together, but she insisted I get it first,” Jellal admits the truth finally.

“Why?” Wendy asks inquisitively, blinking up at Jellal.

Laxus laughs, punching Jellal in the arm lightly as he realizes. “She thought you’d get cold feet and back out on your deal, huh?”

“Something like that,” Jellal mutters eventually.

Erza blinks at the admission. Suddenly, she’s unsure if she’s been too overbearing. “If you’d like to wait, there’s no rush. Fairy Tail will always be here.”

Jellal seems as though he wants to refute her, but it’s Laxus who responds by scoffing. “Don’t give him an out, Scarlet. This idiot might just run for the hills out of embarrassment.”

Jellal frowns up at Laxus in refusal, though really it looks more like a pout. “I wouldn’t have run.”

It’s endearing to witness such low stakes disagreement on his face as the two of them squabble back and forth. She’s so used to his every feature being painted in extremes. In the tower, their frustration was a matter of life and death. Their anger could very well kill them. Here, Jellal appears as nothing more than a petulant child.

It’s nice seeing him so carefree. It’s what she’s always wanted for him.

It’s Mira’s melodious giggle that snaps them all out of their observation as she walks over with the emblem painted in scarlet red. “I don’t think I’ve seen you this evenly matched in years, Laxus.”

“Oh, I’ll show you evenly matched,” Laxus provokes. “Don’t blame me if we don’t have a guild hall after though.”

Erza blinks as she realizes the truth in that statement. Laxus has always been in a league far above the rest of them. Even on the occasions where they’d fight with him, he tended to view them as nothing more than gnats seeking to bother him. Even with Mira and Erza, Laxus had watched the two of them grow up. She supposes it’s hard to take a rivalry seriously when you’ve watched someone grow from a child to a full-fledged mage. It’s the same reason she’s never viewed Natsu’s calls for a fight in any serious regard.

Upon contemplation, it reminds Erza of the careful respect Laxus and Mystogan had shared before Mystogan left for Edolas. With Jellal, the two of them truly do seem as though they’re on the same level. That, and they’re both deeply unfamiliar with having someone on a similar power level to squabble with. For two grown mages who are fully refined in their craft, it’s an interesting dynamic to witness.

“We did almost come to blows once,” Jellal admits with a smile. “I suppose we’d all be better off if we abstained though.”

Natsu quickly makes his presence known as awe glows in his eyes at Jellal’s words. Leave it to Natsu to perk up at any mention of a fight. “Really? When was this? Why wasn’t I there?”

“Have some level of chill, man,” Gray rolls his eyes.

Jellal and Laxus exchange a glance. Eventually, it’s Laxus who responds. “It was right as you guys left for that Century quest. It was about that cat girl.”

“Oh, Touka?” Lucy recalls, to which Jellal nods.

“I had found out the truth of her identity, but she was a member of Fairy Tail then. I had no desire to start a fight with the guild,” Jellal admits. “I thought it would be better to observe the situation from afar.”

“And look where that got us,” Laxus grumbles, clearly still remembering the puppeteering of the White Mage.

“It all worked out alright in the end,” Jellal acquiesces.

“Clearly,” Mira chimes in with a grin, waving the stamp around and bringing them all to reality. “Have you given any thought to where you want your mark?”

Jellal doesn’t seem to have given it any thought as he stares at the ground blankly. At his contemplation, Lucy chimes in with a suggestion.

“You could put it on your hand?” the celestial mage muses. “You usually wear a lot of layers, so if you want it to be seen that might be a good option.”

“It doesn’t have to be visible, though,” Gray admits. “I put mine on my chest, and I have no problem with it being hidden all the time.”

“Maybe that’d be a problem if you kept your clothes on,” Lucy mutters to herself, eyeing one of Gray’s many discarded shirts at the back of the guild hall.

As Gray works out his own dilemma, Wendy offers another option. “I put mine on my arm because my arm is what gives me strength.”

Jellal seems to ponder these options with a sage nod. Eventually, he turns to Erza to gain her input. “What about you?”

“My reasoning was very similar to Wendy’s,” Erza admits. “My arms are what I use to protect this guild with everything I have. However, you should do what you believe is best.”

Jellal frowns, seeming to contemplate his options, before turning to Mira. “Would it be alright to put it over my heart?”

“Of course,” Mira smiles. “Mind if I ask why?”

“It feels right,” Jellal admits carefully, eyes drifting to Erza in a way that dusts her cheeks a light pink.

“Alright,” Laxus smirks, amused. “Get it over with so we can party while the night’s still young, will you?”

Mira angles her head towards Jellal in an attempt to get him to remove his clothes so she can apply the guild mark. Erza isn’t quite prepared for him to actually begin doing it in such a setting.

Erza can count the amount of times she’s seen Jellal shirtless on one hand. In fact, it’s only been two incidents in their adult lives; once at the waterpark during the Grand Magic Games, and the other being under the white mage’s control. Needless to say, she firmly tries to avert her eyes as she flushes a deep pink, trying not to observe every rise and fall of his chest.

It’s no use. Her face rushes with blood. She can tell she’s not being particularly subtle from the knowing smile Mirajane gives her, but she can’t help herself.

As Jellal finally removes his black compression shirt and shrugs off his long coat, Mira smiles knowingly as she holds the emblem in her hand. He nods tersely, and it’s as easy as that. All these years of waiting culminate in a blink and you miss it moment as the emblem is pressed to his chest and his flesh is branded a vibrant, scarlet red.

As the stamp is removed, Jellal stares down at disbelief at the mark on his chest. It lays perfectly over his beating heart, echoing in tandem with his very being.

“Well, now that’s settled,” Natsu concludes, always ready to find an excuse to have a good time, “Lets throw a party!”

…

As wonderful as Jellal’s first Fairy Tail party was, Jellal can’t help but be somewhat glad to have an excuse to retreat from the scene and enter Makarov’s office.

Jellal stumbles inside in a heartbeat. He hadn’t drank abundantly, but it had been enough to leave him slightly tipsy. He’d managed to avoid getting dragged into doing a barrel roll for the first time and thankfully had only done two or three shots before calling a night, but he still felt somewhat buzzed.

“Hello, Master Makarov,” Jellal bows slightly in acknowledgement.

“There’s no need for that,” Makarov waves off his formality, “Take a seat, my boy.”

Upon Jellal shuffling into a red plush office chair, Makarov smiles and begins to speak.

“Firstly, congratulations,” Makarov smiles meaningfully. “Fairy Tail is proud to have you.”

“Thank you,” Jellal smiles somewhat bashfully. “Though I doubt that’s why you summoned me.”

“You’d be correct in that, though it doesn’t lessen the sentiment behind my words. I’m sure you’ve noticed that we haven’t had the S-Class trials in quite some time,” Makarov states.

“Ah, yes,” Jellal notes. “I assumed that was more of a personal choice than anything else.”

Makarov frowns. “Yes, you could say something like that. Since Tenrou Island, it’s been something of an awkward topic. There truly was no time for it with the war with Tartaros, and even after we re-established ourselves, no one was in any rush to pick up the label. War is a brutal trial to overcome, and all of them have more than proven their capabilities in my eyes.”

Oh, that wasn’t quite what Jellal had been expecting. “Then…?”

Makarov sighs. “For one, it’s the money. S-Class licenses are expensive, not that those kids would ever know it. That, and S-Class has become more of a ceremonial position of leadership in the guild than anything else. Gildarts is rarely here, and with Mirajane already helping to run the guild internally and Laxus operating more independently, much of the stress of taking on S-Class jobs has fallen to Erza.”

“She isn’t alone,” Jellal feels obliged to add, knowing Erza would never view it as a burden. “Her team takes care of her well.”

Makarov frowns regardless. “That may be true, and though that was how I’ve convinced myself for some time, the truth is it’s not enough. Fairy Tail is getting an exponential increase in job requests after their successful completion of the 100 year quest, and though the Thunder Legion and Team Shadow Gear are powerful in their own right, we need more manpower.”

“I will do my best to contribute to the guild in any way I can,” Jellal reassures.

But that doesn’t seem to be quite what the Master means.

“I have a request for you, and you are free to decline,” Makarov glances at Jellal knowingly. “Wizard Saints are free to exempt themselves from the trial process by having their Master appeal to the Magic Council on their behalf.”

“I’m… aware,” Jellal admits, even if he sparingly wishes to discuss his time with the Magic Council. “It was created to be sure that guild-wizard affiliated Wizard Saints wouldn’t be held back from taking high level quests. I haven’t been a Wizard Saint in quite some time, though.”

“Therein lies the favor,” Master Makarov purses his lips. “To my understanding, you are the one who defeated God Serena in Guiltina, right?”

Unsure of where this is going, Jellal responds. “Yes.”

“God Serena’s reappearance in Guiltina put Fiore in a world of trouble. As the one to defeat him and as a now-pardoned former Wizard Saint with a good temperament and firm resolve, they would have no option but to accept an appeal on your behalf from another Wizard Saint. The current Four Gods of Ishgar are well aware of the power God Serena wields, and it’s my understanding that Jura Neekis is already aware of you and your capabilities. Plus, that loser who’s snuck in at number eight has given them more than enough problems as is. They’d be glad for an opportunity to reroot the rankings, even if their only option is you.”

Jellal blinks. He doesn’t know what he expected, but it certainly hadn’t been anything like this.

“I’ll be frank, my boy,” Makarov frowns. “I understand if the title of Wizard Saint isn’t one you want. Some days, I think my title weighs me down more than anything else. I won’t pretend I don’t see an upside to it as a Guild Master, though. Though Laxus was once considered after defeating Jura in the Grand Magic Games, his temperament easily shattered that illusion. You’ve provided me with an opportunity. However, you are well within your right to decline.”

“I’m merely surprised is all,” Jellal utters eventually. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“Yes, well, it was always clear that you would join Fairy Tail eventually,” Makarov muses. “It’d be foolish for me not to plan ahead.”

“You really knew I’d join?” Jellal can’t help but wonder, astounded. Had everyone really known this would be an eventuality except him?

“Oh, of course,” Makarov’s eye twinkles as he laughs. “One thing about being a Guild Master that I’m sure you know as well as I do is that you always count your chickens. From the moment Erza reunited with you, I knew you would find each other eventually.”

“And you were… alright with that?” Jellal frowns. He is under no pretense that he has ever been someone worthy of Erza, but then he had been a cloud of darkness in comparison to her light.

“You’re too hard on yourself, my boy,” Makarov sighs. “When you’re as old as I am, you learn that life is what you make of it. When you wore the emblem during the Grand Magic Games, I certainly didn’t mean it lightly. You’ve been a member through and through for longer than you know.”

Jellal laughs quietly. “You aren’t the first person to say that to me.”

“And I doubt I’ll be the last,” Makarov smiles. “My motivations aren’t all pure, you know. I’ve been looking for someone to finally take on the role of Wizard Saint before I retire.”

“You’re already looking at retirement?” Jellal wonders, surprised.

“Are you really so shocked? I am old, you know.”

“I simply thought… You seemed as though you planned to do this until you had no other option.”

“Maybe once. But I’m old and tired. When I disbanded the Guild, it was these children who brought it together better than ever. My time is done. I’d rather leave and watch them stand on their own two feet for a little while longer before I die.”

“You believe in them a lot.”

“I’ve watched them grow up; I know exactly what they’re capable of,” Makarov recalls with a twinkle in his eye. “I really would’ve given Erza the title of master, you know.”

Jellal laughs. “She would’ve hated that.”

“Oh, certainly. She told me as much daily,” Makarov recounts, amused. “When Laxus left, she kept begging Mira to take on the task instead. The only reason I ever gave it to Gildarts is because she’s much too young. I was nearly forty when I took on the job myself.”

“And now?” Jellal wonders.

“Everyone seems to think Laxus is the right choice, but he doesn’t want it either,” Makarov bemoans his circumstances. “Typical for them to chase me into an early grave even for this.”

“Mirajane?”

“I tried once, but she threatened to make me do my own paperwork. I have no desire to spark her ire.”

“I suppose you’re at a standstill then,” Jellal concludes eventually.

“I have hope that either Erza or Laxus will find it in themselves to take on the role,” Makarov muses, “Erza is hard on herself, but she did a wonderful job as Guild Master, and with you at her side, her support system would be indispensable. Laxus is still somewhat isolated from the rest of the guild, but he’s continued to improve in that regard, so we’ll see where it takes us.”

“That’s part of why you want me to be a Wizard Saint, correct?” Jellal assesses.

“I knew you were a smart one. Erza isn’t the only one who values your insight, you know. It’s rare for Laxus to find someone he both trusts and is willing to listen to. You offset both of them well, whether it be as the guild master’s husband or confidant.”

“I- you-” Jellal flusters, struggling to find the right words to refute his Master.

“Oh, please. Neither of you are getting any younger,” Makarov teases. “If you don’t propose before I die, I’ll haunt you from the grave, you know.”

It’s kind. Kinder than Jellal deserves. To think that a man he barely knows would not only want Erza happy, but also want Jellal at her side in that happiness is such a ludicrous thought. This far transcends the mere approval he was hoping to get from Master Makarov in regards to his position at the guild.

This is acceptance. This is care. Jellal doesn’t know what to do with it.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jellal coughs.

“I’ll see to it that you do,” Makarov smiles kindly.

Jellal doesn’t know what compels him to speak. Whether it’s a desire to prove himself, a want to leave his past behind him, or a misguided sense of guilt doesn’t matter anymore.

He hates his past. He hates what power made him. He hates that he has a lifetime of sins he’ll die without ever being forgiven for, all because he’d been weak enough to succumb.

What’s another piece of himself in the grand scheme of things?

“I’d be willing to do it. The Wizard Saint position.”

“Can I ask what made you decide?” Makarov asks carefully. What a kind man - he truly seems to care whether or not Jellal’s heart is in it for the right reasons. Anyone else Jellal knew once would simply take his answer at face value for their own gain, but the man before him truly wants the best for the people around him.

It’s terrifying to be so seen. It’s terrifying for people to want to look beyond his surface appearance and see what lies underneath, but that is Fairy Tail. Fairy Tail is the light, and if Jellal wants to fit in here, he must do his due diligence and drop his masks to the floor.

“I suppose it’s a part of my redemption in a sense,” Jellal muses. “I have people who believe in me now. People I want to protect. I won’t pretend it doesn’t bring back memories, but if this is what I need to do to help Fairy Tail, then I’m willing to do it. I do have a request, though.”

“Speak your mind.”

“I would like to take the S-Class trial once the guild has been cleared for it, if you believe I am worthy of a nomination,” Jellal says eventually. “I want to earn the position rather than have it be a result of my past sins.”

Makarov’s smile is light itself. His jaw is tense even as he gives his approval. “Spoken like a true Fairy Tail wizard.”

Jellal blinks, taken aback. “You flatter me.”

“I always saw the potential for it in you,” Makarov admits. “You’re adaptable, quick, and level-headed. You’re certainly far better equipped than I was at your age.”

It’s nice of him to say, but Jellal is certainly not a better man than Master Makarov ever was. Jellal’s sins pile up again and again, weighted and heavy against his already beaten flesh. It’s something he will repent for until he dies.

“I did already agree to being a Wizard Saint, Master,” Jellal eases placatingly, “There’s no reason to win my favor.”

“Hardly that,” Makarov corrects him immediately, leaving no room for doubt in his firm denial. “You haven’t lived an easy life, my boy. Yet in spite of that, you’ve emerged a powerful wizard with much to show for yourself.”

Jellal blinks, unsure what to do with such praise. Never has he been… acknowledged in such a way. With his pardoning and all that came with it people certainly didn’t outright seem to despise him as much anymore, but to attribute good will and credit to his name almost felt too far.

Yet he’s sure the Master wouldn’t take kindly to his outright denial, so instead, Jellal pivots.

It’s been a long time coming anyways. The Master is due his thanks.

“Erza thinks of you very highly,” Jellal says quietly. “I know I’m hardly the person you’d like to hear this from, but I’d like to thank you for offering her a home when I chased her away from the only one she’d ever had. You cared for her as if she was your own, and I’m glad to know she had someone looking out for her wellbeing.”

“The entire guild cares for her deeply,” Makarov reassures, seeming to take Jellal’s words as worry rather than the final whisperings of a dying heart.

“That’s not quite what I meant,” Jellal corrects. “She… she has a habit of coming off as untouchable. You made sure she never pushed the boundaries of that until it was beyond her limit.”

Makarov laughs. “As much as I wish that was a result of my work, her limits are near unbreakable. I wish I could say that I did more for her. She’s always been an independent girl, much like yourself. I’m not blind to the circumstances she lived in before her arrival here. Neither of you have led easy lives.”

“I wish I could have done more for her,” Jellal admits finally. He’s always been a man born of sin. He was the reason his mother was dead after swearing to protect her. He’d killed several guards all for a chance at saving Erza in the Tower. Yet when it mattered most, he could never be enough for the people he loved.

“I understand you didn’t have much of an option, then,” Makarov replies with a knowing look. “You both were so young. I worry that in all these years, you had no one to watch after you.”

Before Erza had been kidnapped and taken to the Tower of Heaven, there had been Sho, Millianna, Wally, and Simon. The same Simon who he’d killed with his own two hands.

They’d loved him until they hated him with everything they had. They’d been dysfunctional and miserable, but they’d been something until Erza had finally saved all of them from his clutches.

And to some degree, of course, there had been Ultear. They’d been two broken children playing in a destroyed world. Though Ultear had been only four years older than him, yet even still, she’d felt like a mentor and a guiding touch. She’d taken the face of a demon and taken his heart hostage, and he’d obeyed her every word without another option.

She hadn’t been kind to him before he’d gained control of his own mind away from her possession, but she had been a force in his life all the same. There was so much of his life where Ultear had been the only thing Jellal ever had until she was gone.

She hadn’t been kind to him before Jellal found his own freedom, but Ultear had been there for him all the same up until she wasn’t.

Now here they stand. Two broken children - one damned to a time beyond all times, and the other playing just another role and hoping to masquerade in the light.

He wonders if she’d be proud of what he’s done with his life sometimes. Jellal doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life half the time - he’s never been able to replace the hole Ultear left in Meredy’s life, and neither of them had ever had any choice but to move on.

“I-” Jellal stumbles, unsure what to do with the shred of love he has been bestowed. “Well, I wouldn’t say that I was completely on my lonesome.”

“That’s not quite what I meant,” Makarov smiles tenderly, echoing Jellal’s own words.

And it isn’t. Master Makarov must mean a parental figure.

Jellal’s father died before Jellal could even remember him. Jellal’s mother died screaming his name; the first sin Jellal ever bore was not being able to protect her.

And after that? There were teachers, Ultear’s machinations, and not much else. Though wicked as they were, they certainly were there.

“I wasn’t… there was-” Jellal winces as the name tumbles out of his mouth, “Brain.”

Makarov blinks carefully, and glances at Jellal as if he isn’t quite sure if he heard him right. Upon pausing to allow Jellal to further elaborate, Jellal’s intentional choice not to double down on his slip up has given Master Makarov all the information he needs. “You wouldn’t happen to mean the former leader of the Oracion Seis, would you?”

“...It wasn’t my best moment,” Jellal admits.

“Nor your best defense,” Makarov returns grimly.

“No,” Jellal responds cautiously.

Makarov just sighs. “Regardless, I hope you find a family here. You’ve long earned the chance to settle down and create a life for yourself. You’re still very young, you know.”

Sometimes, Jellal feels aged beyond death. Jellal Fernandes has lived a thousand lives. First, there was Siegrain. Then, there was Jellal - a visage once filled with hope that grew so twisted it developed a demonic nature of its own.

And when Jellal Fernandes died in the Tower one last time for Erza Scarlet, he woke up again. He woke up as nothing, thanks to the kindness of a young girl he hadn’t even saved, and he was forced to start all over again.

Jellal’s life would be so much easier if he had just died. Whether it’d been in the raids of Rosemary Village, in the Tower of Heaven tied to that damn pole, in the Tower once again upon absorbing the final cries of a dying R-System, or in that damn forest side by side with Nirvana. Hell, even after that in his countless adventures with Ultear and Meredy. In the war against Tartaros, the fight against Acnologia - Jellal would’ve done anything to die then.

But Erza Scarlet breathed a life he never had into his dying lungs every time he was on the verge between life and death. He owed it to her to look onwards.

“I’ll do my best, Master,” Jellal promises, and he finds himself meaning it.