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When his apprentice asked for his permission to go out for a walk that evening, Barok didn’t try to stop him—neither of them was happy with suddenly having to share a roof, and needed their time by themselves.
Of course, he knew such a thing would displease Lord Stronghart, who wanted that man’s identity to stay a secret, to the point of forbidding him from properly interacting with anyone else, even his own mentor. But Barok wasn’t heartless enough to force that man to stay locked inside, enduring his presence even when they were out of the office. He had the right to go out and clear his head, even if for a short while.
As it became darker outside, however, a thick mist also covered the air. The minutes passed without any sign of his apprentice returning, and Barok couldn’t help but worry. That man had left toward the back of the van Zieks estate, and after a few minutes of walking in that direction, there was a small lake. It was a nice place when the weather was more pleasant, but in that fog… If one wasn’t careful, they could easily slip into the water.
The thought made Barok’s stomach turn. He carried no affection for Japanese people, but that man was still his responsibility. How would he explain to Lord Stronghart that his apprentice drowned in his first month under his care? Not only that, but he would find no peace for the rest of his days if he allowed such a thing to happen.
Without wasting more precious time, Barok took a lantern and grabbed his cloak, throwing it over his shoulders as he left the house, walking with hasty steps in the direction his apprentice had followed. The night was silent… Barok tried to keep the worst possibilities out of his mind as he searched for long minutes.
“Apprentice?” he called. “Are you there?”
Barok continued to call him, and the silence only made him more and more nervous. He caught himself quietly praying for that man’s safety as he hastened his steps, calling him in a louder voice. Then, finally, he heard a response.
“I’m here.”
That voice seemed to lift a weight from his chest. Barok followed it, soon finding his apprentice amid the mist.
“There you are…” said Barok. “I was afraid I would not find you in this fog.”
His apprentice lowered his head. “I got lost.”
“I thought so.”
“My apologies.”
He sounded so sorry that, if Barok had been angry, he would have forgiven him immediately. But he wasn’t angry, just relieved to see that man safe.
“No, it is fine,” he said. “Are you hurt?”
“No.”
Still, it didn’t escape Barok’s attention how much he was trembling.
“We should go back now,” said Barok, “it is quite cold tonight.”
“Can you find the way back in this fog?”
Barok nodded. “I have lived here my entire life. Stay close to me.”
His apprentice approached him, holding his cloak as they walked. It reminded Barok of when he was a child and did the same as he followed Klint. The memory stung in his heart, but also made him sympathize with that man a little more: with no memories of his past, he wasn’t that different from his child self, to whom everything seemed much bigger and more frightening than it should be.
A few minutes later, they arrived safely at the mansion. It was a relief to finally get inside and out of the cold, but his apprentice was still shaking. The fireplace was still lit, so Barok gestured toward it.
“You should warm yourself up,” he said. “I will prepare some tea.”
His apprentice nodded. He sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, wrapping his cloak around his body, bringing his hands to his mouth to warm them with his breath. For someone who seemed so much like a specter, those actions made him look surprisingly human.
Barok surprised himself with how glad he was that that man had returned safely. Well, he was still his apprentice, and Barok wasn’t such a horrible man… Of course he would worry about someone else’s safety while under his care. Still…
He prepared the tea, then brought it to his apprentice, who took the cup in his hands.
“Be careful, it is hot,” said Barok.
He sat beside that man, and they drank in silence, warming themselves up. Barok couldn’t help but think of how scared that man must have been, though, lost like that in an unfamiliar place.
“It must have been a frightening experience,” he said without thinking.
“A little.” His apprentice hesitated for a moment. “I thought you would be angry at me.”
“Why would I?”
“I…” He looked away. “Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
Barok knew the reason, though: he hadn’t been the best mentor for that man, in many ways. If he had been treated that coldly by someone else, he would also come to believe that he was hated.
“I am just glad you are back safely,” he said in a softer tone.
To his surprise, his words earned him a slight smile. “Thanks to you.”
The sight made something shift inside Barok’s chest. He lowered his gaze to his cup, now half empty.
“You should drink your tea before it gets cold,” he said.
Without another word, his apprentice did as he suggested.
A few days later, his apprentice disappeared once again. This time, however, Barok had an idea where to find him. There was no fog that evening, so he soon could see that man, sitting on the grass close to that lake.
“You are here again,” he said.
His apprentice nodded. “I wanted to see it without the fog.”
“And what do you think?”
“It’s pretty.”
The simplicity of the response was almost endearing.
“Indeed,” said Barok. “I used to come here when I was younger, when I needed some time alone.” A thought crossed his mind. “I suppose it is the same for you. Would you rather be left alone?”
“I don’t mind some company.”
His apprentice patted the ground by his side, and Barok sat there, looking at that lake. They stayed silent for a moment, simply appreciating the sight, until his apprentice finally spoke.
“Something about this place feels… familiar.”
“Have you remembered anything about yourself?” asked Barok.
His apprentice shook his head. “I sometimes feel like there are pieces of memories in my head, but they go away before I can make any sense of them.”
“But it might be a sign that you are getting better.”
“I hope so.” He went silent, then looked at Barok. “Lord van Zieks, I was instructed not to talk much. Is this really fine?”
“Yes, we are the only ones here.”
“I see.”
He sounded relieved. For someone who barely seemed alive when they first met, that man became much more expressive since that foggy night. All it took was treating him like a person for him to act like one… Once again, Barok felt ashamed of his past actions.
“Would you join me for a walk?” asked Barok.
His apprentice smiled. “Of course.”
After his trial, Barok didn’t return to that lake. That place now reminded him of Kazuma and the sweetness that no longer existed in their relationship.
Before they left the office that afternoon, however, Kazuma approached him.
“Lord van Zieks,” he said. “May I ask you a favor?”
Barok wasn’t surprised when he requested to see that place again, and promptly agreed to accompany him there. It had been a while since they had spent any time together out of the office, and Barok caught himself enjoying it despite everything.
When they reached that lake, Kazuma crouched next to the border, letting out a low sigh.
“I missed this place,” he said.
“I can imagine, considering how often you used to come here.”
“There was a lake near my old home,” Kazuma explained. “Maybe that’s why I felt so at peace when I came here.”
“I see… It makes sense.”
Kazuma looked at him, staying silent for a moment. “Want to sit for a while?”
Barok did as he said, sitting by his side. “Do you miss your homeland?”
“I do.” Kazuma seemed a little hesitant to continue. “It’s… not always easy for a Japanese man to live here in London.”
“Have I made you uncomfortable in some way?”
“No, not you. But…” He stopped talking, shaking his head. “No, forget it. I’m just complaining unnecessarily.”
“If something is bothering you, you can tell me.”
“It’s nothing.” He turned his gaze to that lake. “I just… really miss Japan sometimes.”
Barok felt the weight of those words in his chest. “Have you ever considered going back?”
His words made Kazuma look at him. “Do you want me to?”
“No… Of course not. I simply wondered if you are unhappy here.”
Kazuma nodded, then lowered his eyes, staying silent for a moment. “If I went back as I am now, I would never forgive myself.”
He said nothing else, looking at that lake. There was something in his expression that Barok couldn’t read, and it worried him.
“Is something the matter?” asked Barok.
Kazuma shook his head. “Sorry, just… give me a minute.”
Barok did as he asked without saying another word.
After having breakfast that morning, Barok went out for a brief walk, soon finding himself at that lake. Before Kazuma came into his life, he rarely visited the place, but now it was comforting to just stay there and watch the scenery for a while.
“There you are.”
That voice surprised him, making him look over his shoulder. “Kazuma…”
“You didn’t answer the door, so I came inside,” said Kazuma. “Your hat was still on the coat hanger, but your cloak wasn’t, so I thought maybe you left for a morning walk.”
His words, as well as how naturally they left his mouth, brought an amused smile to Barok’s lips. “Is this Sholmes’ influence?”
Kazuma laughed. “It might be.” He moved closer to Barok, hugging his waist and kissing his cheek. “This might be the first time I come to look for you here, though. It always seems to be the contrary.”
“Unlike you, I don’t often get lost.”
Kazuma narrowed his eyes at him. “It only happened once.”
“Once was enough.”
“You’ll never let me forget it, will you?” Kazuma sighed. “But, now that you mention it, that day…”
“Yes?”
“It was the first time I felt like… you cared about me. I mean, I know you were just trying to help a lost amnesiac, but…” He smiled. “It still made me happy.”
Seeing that expression on his face always made Barok feel warm inside.
“To be honest,” he said, “it was the day I realized I cared about you as well. Not only as my apprentice, but as a person.”
His words made Kazuma grin. “It wasn’t that hard to win your heart, was it?”
“You have this power over me.”
Kazuma laughed. They sat side by side at the border of the lake, as they did many times before. Kazuma leaned against Barok, who hugged his waist, pulling him closer.
He would never get tired of that sight.