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When Jesper finally returned to The Slat, he was barely able to think clearly. He was bruised and bloody (thankfully not his own this time) with another hat lost and another set of clothes ruined. It wasn’t even night anymore. The job Kaz had sent Jesper to had taken until the morning hours. When Jesper had been on his way back, he’d seen the first rays of sunrise peaking over the horizon. It was always a pretty sight, but Jesper hadn’t paid it any mind. He just wanted to catch at least a couple hours of sleep.
He stumbled through the entrance and made his way to Kaz’s office. Since the boss apparently never slept anyway, Jesper made his way to his office to report back to him. As predicted, Kaz was at his desk, looking through some papers. Jesper didn’t even try to guess what it was about.
“Hey, Kaz, everything went well. I got the package,” Jesper said and dropped a small but heavy package wrapped in cloth on the desk. Kaz didn’t even look up. “And here is the rest of the money.”
Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, Bastard of the Barrel, looked at Jesper … with true surprise.
“Good job. Keep the money and the package with you. You’re the one best equipped to deal with it anyway.”
Jesper frowned but did as told. Not looking a gifted horse in the mouth, he stuffed the money into his pocket. He’d use it for a new outfit. He took the package and unwrapped it. He’d been sent to one of the clubs of the Razorgulls where his target was predicted to frequent the tables. Jesper had gambled for a bit to keep up the charade and then stole the package once his target had left the club.
Wylan had ripped into Kaz for sending Jesper gambling like it was no one’s business. No one stood up to Dirtyhands the way Wylan did. Nina and Jesper would always make fun about Kaz being Wylan’s father figure whenever the boys in question weren’t around. Kaz being Kaz, he probably knew what they were saying, but so far he hadn’t intervened which said everything about the matter. The boss was getting soft in his old days. Saints, he’d probably have my head for just thinking that, Jesper thought before focusing back on the package in his hand.
He was looking at a blue weirdly shimmering block of … metal? Since they’d finished off Jan Van Asshole, Jesper had steadily improved his skills as a Durast, but this kind of material didn’t feel familiar.
“What is this?” Jesper asked.
“You tell me,” Kaz replied. “It’s some new kind of metal from what I heard. They’ve been using it to create some new bullets that are way more effective and have different special features. Work together with Wylan to figure out what exactly that is.”
Jesper nodded and took it as his cue to leave when Kaz looked back down to his papers.
The gunslinger went to his room and could barely make it through the door from how tired he was. The room was lit dimly by the rising sun, and Jesper let himself fall back at the closed door to take a deep breath before he started getting out of his ruined clothes. Wylan was still deeply asleep on his bed, and Jesper couldn’t help but smile. His sunshine was sleeping on Jesper’s side of the bed, cuddling his pillow. Jesper could relate. It was rare for them to not fall asleep next to each other, and whenever one of them had something to do at night, it felt like something was missing.
As quietly as possible, Jesper got rid of his clothes. For now, he just let them fall to the ground with the exception of his revolvers and the new metal which he placed on the table in his small room while hanging the holster over the chair. He hurried across the room to the unoccupied side of the bed to escape the cold temperatures. He carefully got under the covers, trying not to wake Wylan. They were facing each other, both of them on their sides. Wylan still fast asleep, Jesper wide awake again.
The morning sun was shining on Wylan’s skin because the curtains in Jesper’s room were paper thin. Through the open window, the Zemeni could feel the breeze of winter air, but under the covers they were safe, and Jesper never wanted to leave. He wanted to watch Wylan sleep and listen to him breathe. Jesper was so much contained energy that it was hard for him to be still and endure silence, but it had gotten better after he’d started training his powers. It had given Jesper a sense of peace that he hadn’t known was missing in his life. A sense of relief that even Wylan couldn’t give him, but Wylan made everything else better by just being there, especially on a morning like this when the city was still as quiet as it would get, and for once Jesper was the first one awake (he hadn’t been to sleep, so it technically didn’t count, but who cared?). He could look his fill, and he’d never get bored of looking at Wylan because every time he was observing him, he was seeing something new. Like the scar on his spine because Wylan fell off the roof of a shed when he had been nine. It was so fascinating to understand all of the things about Wylan that had happened before the two of them had met.
For a moment, Jesper looked around his room that he technically didn’t need anymore, but Wylan had agreed to sleep in The Slat, so Jesper wouldn’t have to go back to the mansion after reporting back to Kaz. It was surprising how much of a mess the room was even though they barely spent any time there. Clothes, holsters, bandages, books, and more were strewn across the floor, and in the middle of it all was Wylan like a haven. He was the calm in the chaos, the relief to the stress, the happiness in the pain, and Jesper was enraptured, enamored by the beauty of his boyfriend, the love of his life really. There were times when the tough and unforgiving life of the Barrel seemed far away, when they could just … be. Enjoy a slow morning like right now. It was in those times that Jesper was fully convinced that Wylan was some ethereal creature, like an angel. He was just too beautiful and good to not be some kind of saving grace in Jesper’s life.
Looking at his boyfriend with fondness, Jesper pulled the blanket a little bit higher, so Wylan would be comfortable and just couldn’t stop watching the peaceful expression on his face. His father had hurt him so bad and had such lasting damage which made it extra special for Jesper to see his boyfriend without any of his masks at pure ease.
That Jan Van Eck was still alive felt like an itch under Jesper’s skin. He was very protective of his sweet little angel and would do anything for him. Wylan deserved the whole world at his feet, and Jesper would be the one to give it to him. He would do everything for Wylan. Whatever he would ask of Jesper, he’d do it. No matter how far out of his comfort zone. With Wylan, Jesper could be still, like the boy’s presence settled something in him that no one else could even hope to see.
It was no secret that Wylan had fallen first, simply because he wasn’t as well versed in the habits of Barrel life. He didn’t guard his heart as much as Jesper did. Between the fear of being hurt, the insecurity of not being good enough, and the unbreakable armor that the Barrel made for you, Jesper hadn’t even thought of a potential relationship at first. Now though, he couldn’t imagine life without Wylan.
“I’ll never leave you,” Jesper whispered and gently ran his fingers through a strand of unruly hair to get it out of Wylan’s face. “You’re the most precious thing I’ve ever seen. As long as you’re alright, I can deal with anything.”
He caressed his beloved’s face with the uttermost care, running his fingertips over Wylan’s cheek, his pointer down his nose, a thumb over slightly parted lips.
As if sensing his presence, Wylan moved closer to Jesper, snuggling up to him. Happiness flooded Jesper, and he carefully lifted his arms to pull Wylan to his chest. That at last woke him up, and immediately, Wylan slotted a thigh in between Jesper’s to be as close as possible.
“Hmm, you’re always so warm,” Wylan mumbled, voice rough from sleep, and buried even closer to enjoy Jesper’s body heat.
Now that he was awake, Jesper threw caution in the wind and put both his arms around his boyfriend, and Wylan took full advantage of it, trying to get as warm as possible. He was always cold, especially in the harsh Kerch winter. He regularly stole one of Jesper‘s coats. Wylan swore they were warmer, but Jesper suspected he was just a clothes thief. Not that he minded. He wasn’t necessarily the possessive type, but there was something about his boyfriend in his clothes that just screamed “I’m his”.
“Why would you leave the window open in the middle of winter, love?” Jesper whispered, worried, hand coming up to stroke through Wylan‘s hair.
“I was worried about you. I wanted to hear if … you know … you needed me.”
Wylan sounded shy and blushed Jesper’s favorite shade of pink. Of course, he would suffer a night in the cold just to be able to hear any major explosions around the city. Jesper didn’t mention that shooting someone in East Stave wasn’t nearly loud enough to reach The Slat. He did foolish things as well to make sure Wylan was safe.
“Oh baby, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Jesper said, voice tight.
Wylan turned slightly, so he could place his chin on Jesper’s chest and look at him.
“You too, Jes.”
They shared a loving kiss and poured all of their feelings into it. It was probably just a couple of minutes, but Jesper always thought he was in eternal heaven whenever the Merchling kissed him. This morning there was a gentleness in the air, almost like a spell cast by the dim light, the silence, and the peace between them. They were at ease which didn’t happen often, especially for Jesper, but also for Wylan with how much he worried about his work for the council and Kaz.
When they parted, Jesper wound his arms around his boyfriend and squeezed as hard as he could, pulling Wylan fully on top of him. It made the boy laugh, and Jesper’s heart soared. He wanted to make him laugh until their dying breath. He knew there would be no one else for him after Wylan. He’d never love another person like this, and he was sure that he wouldn’t be loved like this again. Wylan was it for him, and he was so saintsdamn grateful to be this lucky with the first and last relationship he’d ever had.
When silence reigned once more, Wylan looked at Jesper, and the Zemeni could easily read the worry from his lover’s eyes. With someone else, it might’ve felt patronizing, but the soft smile that was only reserved for Jesper translated to “I trust you”.
“How did it go tonight?” Wylan whispered.
Jesper smiled and pressed another kiss to Wylan‘s lips.
“It was fine,” Jesper whispered back.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I know you were stressed out about me gambling again, but I was okay. It was hard, but I just did what I had to do. I fulfilled the job, got the package, didn’t gamble away all the money.”
“I’m glad, and I’m really proud of you, Jes.”
Jesper let his gaze wander out the window and contemplated how his life would’ve went without meeting Wylan. After a moment of silence, Jesper spoke again, revealing much more emotion than he would’ve a few years ago.
“I thought of you so much tonight. You helped me to get better, and I’m sure I wouldn’t have bothered at all if it weren’t for you. I know I’m not always easy, but you never left. You were always by my side, helping me however you could. My addiction got better once I started training my zowa powers, and I never would’ve thought my life could be like this. I love you so much, and honestly, if I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden until the end of time. You’re everything to me.”
Wylan blushed and gifted Jesper with a big smile.
“That’s very sweet. I do like flowers.”
Jesper chuckled before drowning in Wylan’s eyes again.
“I’m yours, my love,” he promised so quietly it was barely audible. “There will never be anybody else.”
Wylan looked at him with so much adoration in his eyes that it made Jesper almost cry. He was overcome by emotions and so happy and so, so very much in love. Without overthinking it, Jesper shifted Wylan gently off his chest, sat up, and reached out to the metal handle on the window. After just a second, he’d the handle separated and wrapped his hands around it. His power rushed through him, and a moment later, he opened his hands again. Wylan’s eyes went wide as saucers.
“Marry me,” Jesper whispered, holding the ring in his open palm.
Obviously, he hadn’t planned any of this, but maybe that was even more fitting for them. Just going with the moment and seeing where the path would take them. They did have a conversation about the future once, but honestly, Jesper had kind of expected that Wylan would be the one to propose. For a while, Jesper hadn’t thought he had the right to do it. Wylan was so much better than him, so pure and good. He couldn’t put the pressure of staying with Jesper forever on him by dropping the question, but no one had ever made Jesper as happy as Wylan did. It hit him that they really were the forever kind of thing, and Jesper just couldn’t not do it.
When Wylan didn’t say anything for a few seconds, Jesper did get nervous and started thinking about it. Was it too soon? Did Wylan not want to get marry? At all? Or was Jesper just not the right one to marry? Was it all for nothing? Did Jesper mess it—
“Yes!” Wylan shouted and threw his arms around Jesper’s neck, hugging him tightly.
“Really?” Jesper whispered, not believing his luck.
“Jesper Llewellyn Fahey, put that ring on my finger right this instant, or I will divorce you.”
The look of pure joy on Wylan’s face, the biggest smile Jesper had ever seen on him made Jesper maybe even happier than the proposal. They both had come such a long way, and Jesper still remembered vividly how Wylan had always turned away when he smiled because he felt like he couldn’t show his happiness. He had been afraid to be vulnerable because his father had hurt him so badly, but now he was smiling at Jesper like he’d never been happier in his life.
And really, what was there to do except push the handle-turned-ring on Wylan’s finger.
“I love you so much,” they both said at the same time and laughed and kissed and laughed some more. At some point, it all blend together, and they were just pressing their smiles to each other’s skin.
Jesper did not sleep that night. They fooled around in bed, enjoying each other’s company, and when they finally descended down the stairs, all of their friends immediately noticed that they were even more engrossed with each other, and then they noticed the ring on Wylan’s finger and congratulated them. Nina lost her shit. She was screaming, throwing her arms around them both at the same time. He Ravkan accent coming through stronger than usual when she congratulated them. Matthias gave them both a warm smile and a pat on the shoulder. Inej ever so quiet told them how happy she was for them and hugged them gently. Even Kaz smiled and gave them a loose hug. It was a rare sight, and when Jesper met Kaz’s eyes, he knew that Kaz approved and was genuinely happy for them before he did care.