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In Chaldea, there was a general understanding of lab safety rules. Enough to where nobody had died a horrible, no-good, admittedly somewhat laughable death. Not yet anyway.
It was all incredibly basic stuff. Wear gloves and goggles when working with disastrous chemicals, no food or drink in the lab (which Doctor Romani Archaman broke once or twice out of desperation for a caffeine pick-me-up), no reusing lab equipment without washing and sanitizing, all sorts of things. But over the years, when you’ve worked in a lab for as long as Romani, some of the rules tend to grow lax and bend. Like they weren’t even there in the first place.
He often had some coffee waiting for him at the end of a counter, and on occasion he’d forget his goggles because he had a headache, and the warped view wouldn’t help. He was also the type of man to get distracted easily, and perhaps he was busying himself with a conversation in the break room and accidentally forgot that he had open samples on his workstation bench.
And Chaldea was just full of any number of lifeforms. Servants resting between missions, Masters waiting to take on new contracts, and little creatures that may have found themselves in the vast halls of the labyrinthian building. Little creatures like Fou, arrival sounded by the tapping of tiny claws on tile floors.
From the view of the little mammal, everything was so much grander. When he turned the corner, Romani stood there like a giant god, casually leaning against the wall as he spoke with a very sleepy looking Da Vinci. “And I swear, it tasted just like calamari,” he would say with a gesture of his hand, some sort of tale of regalia or a very drawn-out story opportunity. Fou didn’t really care for it.
He was far more interested in the open door just beyond the doctor’s legs. Usually, that door was shut. Seeing it open felt wrong and forbidden, as if he were staring directly into the emptiness of Pandora’s Box. So, obviously, Fou’s first thought was to go in.
With head bowed and ears pinned back, Fou deftly made it through the treacherous terrain of stale-smelling tiles and Romani’s tapping feet, rushing through the forbidden veil into a world full of whiteness and machinery. It was an odd sort of forest, metal and chemical, a place that made Fou’s curiosity soar. He ventured in the canyons beneath the tables, climbed the calamitous mountain of Romani’s spinning chair, and traversed the barren wastelands of the empty countertops. This strange new world opened itself up to the young beast’s hungry eyes, all its riches for him and him alone.
Including the open bottle he conveniently saw right in front of him.
Now, back outside of the lab, Romani remained unaware of the little fluffy intruder that had managed to worm its way into the forbidden zone. He was much more engrossed in his conversation with Da Vinci, who currently looked like she needed a third cup of coffee.
“And that’s when I told him that it was the wrong order, and he just looked at me and said, ‘no, this is what you ordered’, like I was somehow wrong?” the doctor continued, gesticulating as he told his story. “I was pretty damn sure at that point that calamari and spinach tortellini were not the same things, but he just doubled down and wouldn’t accept that it was the wrong order?” He then turned to the mysterious third member of the group that had just walked up to them both. “Isn’t that crazy? Like, he’s the waiter, and he thought I ordered calamari!”
His words were met with silence, as the daunting realization had suddenly crashed down upon the entire group. There was a child standing here. One that had very clearly not been there a few minutes ago.
Da Vinci’s eyes were wide open, and the first words out of her mouth in the last fifteen minutes was a resounding cry of, “dear god, that boy’s got ears!”
“Yes, I can see that,” Romani wheezed, his face paling. “Oh dear. This isn’t good.”
Standing before them was a little boy, with hair as white as snow and violet eyes that looked as distant as the stars themselves. Dressed in such miraculous robes and the cutest little shorts and stockings, he almost looked like a tinier Merlin... if it weren’t for the tall ears sticking out of his hair and the bushy tail flicking behind him.
“Ah... is that... that can’t be, right?” Da Vinci murmured, an incredulous smile spreading across her panicked countenance. She raised a finger to point at the little boy, taking a small step forward. “Ah... boy? What’s your name, dearie?”
The mysterious newcomer blinked a bit too slow for comfort. And then his ears did a little twitch, and with all the air in his lungs he could muster, he introduced himself with no shame whatsoever.
“Fou!”
That felt like a punch in the gut for collective two, with Da Vinci pressing a hand to her mouth and Romani letting out a loud profanity of anguish.
“Oh, no, Merlin’s gonna kill me!” He shouted with despair, staring back at the now weirdly human Fou’s vacant expression. “What are we gonna do!?”
“Stay calm!” Da Vinci gasped, trying to grab Romani’s shoulder. However, she missed by half a mile and slapped his chest instead, earning quite the wheeze from the doctor. She continued talking despite this. “This is from the transmutation serum, yes!? We can just make a reversal! Roman, keep Fou occupied for the next few hours, okay!?”
Romani, practically hyperventilating, looked back at his dearest friend with utter tragedy written all over his face. “What!? But... but it’s Fou! He could act completely differently from a normal human child!”
“Learning opportunity!” Came Da Vinci’s wide-eyed rebuke. “Get on it! I’ll get to work immediately!” And then, Da Vinci was off, fleeing into the lab like a woman on a mission.
Now, Romani Archaman was good with all kinds of people. He was especially good with kids, too. But Fou was a completely different story. He knew Fou well, only, as a little animal rather than a little boy. And the change into a new physical form had the potential to be incredibly traumatizing. So, he took a deep breath and steeled his nerves, mentally preparing for the challenge of a lifetime.
“Hey, Fou?” He asked, his voice rising into a sweet cadence as he turned to the little boy. “You’re probably really tired right now. Do you want to head back and take a nap, or—”
Fou was nowhere to be seen.
The curse that left Romani’s mouth would later be scrubbed clean from the audio of the security cameras for the sake of his job.
As the crisis was quickly unfolding itself, Fou was simply wandering around and looking at things from his new, much taller, perspective. He was that much closer to reaching doors now, and his hands could actually touch and open the handles if he wanted. Having thumbs was probably the best part about this whole thing, since now his mischief was utterly limitless.
He heard voices up ahead.
With a curious twitch of his nose, Fou wandered his way around the corner with a squeak of his boots and a twitch of his tail. What he saw before him was a group people, crowded around a map of some kind. They were all members of the round table, dressed in their summer outfits and ready for some fun in the sun. They clearly hadn’t gotten to that part yet.
“Okay, okay, so this here is the sunset archipelago,” Bedivere attempted to explain with a point against the map. “What we want is all the way over here to the left...”
“At some deserted island!?” Percival huffed in response, taking his shades off to try and squint at the jumble of splotches and words they’d whipped together on a whim. “You must be mad. Why not just go to the archipelago?”
“We got our asses handed to us by a bunch’a pirates,” Mordred spat from in front of them all, his hands on his hips and his face taut in a tired grimace. “Can we just pick an island and go? It’s cold in here!”
As the knights were all bickering to themselves, there was one particular knight that sort of was hanging off to the side, hair tied back and wearing a colorful Hawaiian shirt that belied the somber look on his face. Tristan, Knight of Lamentation, was the only one to turn his head and spot Fou at the end of the hall.
“Ah... everyone,” he muttered, elbowing Bedivere in the side. “We have a visitor.”
Heads turned, staring at the strange boy at the end of the hall. Fou’s expression hadn’t changed at all. He was staring at them with his trademark thousand-yard stare, not daring to move from his position. A tense silence stretched between them, some sort of standoff like the warriors of old used to engage in on the battlefield.
“Stay calm,” Mordred whispered, his expression growing harsh. “It can probably smell fear.”
As the standoff continued, nobody dared to even make a sound. Little breath was shared between the collective group, seconds ticking by like mini eternities. At some point Tristan grew uneasy with the tension, beginning to slowly draw his hand back to see if he could reach his bow. Percival noticed this, ready to whisper-shout at Tristan about the morality of shooting a child with an arrow.
Too late. Fou was advancing, his boots squeaking nefariously on the tile floors yet again. There was murderous intent in those vacant eyes.
In an instant, carnage broke out. Bedivere was screaming, pulling Tristan in front of him so he could make a cowardly escape. Percival got smacked somewhere along the way, and Mordred was screaming his head off the entire time, confusedly drawing his sword only to get shoved aside by the similarly fleeing Tristan. They were knights, yes, but they knew to back down when there was a foe far more powerful than them.
Fou chased them all down the hallway, his tail flicking behind him as he raced. It was his first time on two legs, and honestly, he could get used to the feeling. His strides were much larger this time around, he felt as if he could sprint for days and never get tired. Suppose a bit of celebratory hunting was in order, yes?
As he ran down the hallways, watching the men slide into walls and Mordred attempt to wrangle them all somewhere safe, something else caught Fou’s attention. There was a large set of doors in this hallway, left open for convenience. This was the cafeteria; he knew this place. There probably wouldn’t be very many Servants there now, given that it wasn’t quite lunch and too late for breakfast, but the thought of food was still far more tempting than the work of a chase.
So Fou slowed down to a stop, his ears perking upwards and his nose twitching. He could smell meat. He liked meat.
Deciding to go ahead with this little adventure, Fou followed his nose towards the cafeteria. As expected, it was mostly empty, save for those few and far between trying to get some snacks in between their shifts. Fou stood in the doorway, looking into this vast plane of existence with those wide and oddly vacant eyes.
He took a slow look around the room until his eyes landed on a lone occupant at a table nearby. Probably the biggest man he’d ever seen, with white hair that looked more like a mane rolling down his back. He was leaned over a tray full of various fish he’d just piled right on.
Fou, unashamedly, raced up to his side. The man was much larger up close, and too big to notice the little Fou standing beside him. He just pushed another forkful of fish into his mouth, staring idly down at his food as he ate. He had fangs for days, and a weird mark on his chest that Fou didn’t exactly ponder too much.
The little boy continued to stare at the fish that kept being piled into the man’s mouth. It took a solid two minutes for him to even notice, and when he finally did, he screamed so loud he almost fell out of his seat. “GOOD GOD!” He roared as he lay eyes upon the tiny beast next to him.
Fou didn’t move. Didn’t speak, either. Just stared at the man with a somewhat expectant look on his face. The stranger was trying to catch a breath, hand against his marked chest. What a strange stalemate they had both found themselves in.
“Oh, apologies,” the man finally murmured. “I didn’t see you there. You’re a very quiet... thing.”
Fou’s ears twitched. He still didn’t say anything. Just kept staring.
The man blinked in return, sitting upright and brushing a few strands of hair out of his tan face. “Um... do you have a name, child?” He muttered, leaning down with a hand on his knee. “And... maybe a parent? Are you a Servant?”
Fou still didn’t say anything. His nose lightly twitched as he regarded the giant man, and even took a small step closer.
The man wasn’t entirely sure what to do with this boy. He assumed he just... didn’t know how to speak his language, so he looked around to see if there was anyone else who could help. But his attention was taken as quickly as he had brought it away. The boy was grabbing at his knee, patting incessantly at him.
He looked back down, tilting his head to the right like a confused hound. “Huh? What?”
Fou thus got on the tips of his toes and pointed up at the man’s table. The stranger looked back at his tray of food, and then his eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh... you’re hungry, are you?” He pondered, somewhat to himself. Without so much as another thought, he carefully reached out and grabbed the fish between his fingers, tearing off a piece for the little rascal at his feet.
Smiling gently, he leaned down and offered the piece to Fou. “Here you are. Apologies if it’s not to your liking.”
It seemed that the apologies weren’t needed, for as soon as the fish was shown to Fou, he was practically leaping forward to grab it. It felt strange to hold in his little hands, fumbling between clawed fingers, but he managed to scoop it into his mouth all the same. The tastes melted on his tongue, and his ears drooped downwards as an expression of contentment crossed his tiny face.
The stranger looked upon him fondly, head tilting as he watched the boy eat. “Hungry, hm?” He pondered, reaching out and gently patting Fou on the head. “I wonder where your parents are...”
At that moment, someone crashed into the doorway and screamed.
Romani Archaman, in all his disheveled glory, looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel as soon as he laid eyes on Fou. “Oh, Siegfried, you godsend!” He shouted, immediately running towards the two as fast as his leges could carry him. “You found him! You actually found him!”
Fou perked up, his fluffy ears shooting back upwards as he caught sight of Romani. Siegfried jumped again; his eyes wide as he protectively clasped a hand on Fou’s shoulder. However, seeing it was only the doctor, he relaxed almost immediately. “Doctor Roman?” He murmured, squinting. “What’s going—”
He couldn’t get his sentence out, because Romani was barreling forth and wrapping his arms around Fou. He attempted to pick him up, but Fou began to squirm and chirp like mad, slapping at him with tiny hands. Romani let out a small grunt as he raised Fou into the air, trying to tilt his head back and avoid those slapping hands. “Oh, please, don’t! I’m trying to help you!”
Siegfried watched this all happen, his expression a gentle surprise. Not only was this a sight he felt he couldn’t look away from, but he was trying to figure out when and where Romani had acquired a child. He didn’t have a secret wife, did he? No, no, as charming as he was, something like that would’ve been obvious.
“Doctor Roman,” Siegfried quietly repeated. “I find your little... squirrel child... cute. How come I’ve never seen him before?”
Romani paused, turning his head in an attempt to glance over at the Servant. “Oh, well, you have seen him, actually,” he stammered out, his smile crooked. “It’s a bit of a long story, but— ow—” he paused when Fou slapped his cheek. “Long story, but—” another smack, this time to the nose. That got Romani to turn his head back around and scold the little boy. “Fou! Please, I’m trying to talk!”
Siegfried felt his thoughts slipping further. “Who?”
“Please don’t tell Merlin!” Romani gasped with another turn of his head. Siegfried was starting to wonder if the doctor was going to become concussed if he kept turning so quickly. “There was a mishap, and it’s going to be fixed!”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Siegfried huffed, raising his calloused hands in an attempt to stop any more conversation. “You’re making me dizzy... you’re telling me that’s the little creature that runs around everywhere? That’s Fou?”
“Yes,” Romani sighed.
“Fou!” Fou barked.
Siegfried blinked, looking between the two as if they had both grown two heads. He quietly looked down at his tray of food, then back to Romani and Fou. And without so much as another word, he picked up his tray and handed it to the doctor, staring at him with a silent intensity.
“Wait, why are you giving me this?” Romani asked but used one hand to take it anyway.
“Fou likes fish,” Siegfried said, and then promptly stood up from his seat and walked off to go take a very, very long nap in his quarters.
The doctor stood there in the open, child in one hand and food in the other, and wondered just how exactly he got this far in his very, very short life. For a second, he almost wondered if the better option would be handing Fou off to someone who actually knew how to take care of unruly children, but he figured that would likely lead into word spreading around the facility that he accidentally turned the staff’s communal pet into a real boy. Pinocchio style!
He took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out. “Okay, Fou,” he said, slow as a summer ocean as he set the tray back onto the table. “Are you hungry? You want some food?”
“Fou!” Fou shouted in excitement, already making little grabby hands at the tray. Romani had to look away, lest his heart fail from the adorable image right before him.
“Okay! Okay, okay, food time!” Romani chuckled, though it lacked humor and was more of an anxious chuckle. He sat down and placed Fou in his lap, reaching for a fork to try and feed Fou himself.
The boy had other plans, because he grabbed the rest of the fish in a tiny fist and shoved it into his mouth.
The doctor stared with wide eyes and an open mouth at where the fish used to be. He then looked down at Fou, who was messily chewing and dripping meat onto his little cloak. Once Romani’s head stopped fizzling with dead thoughts, he let out a strangled gasp. “FOU! Stop that! We don’t use our hands! This isn’t the stone age!”
The impromptu lunch was full of a lot of cleaning and fussing. Fussing on Fou’s part, as he didn’t like whatever this thing called a ‘fork’ was, and cleaning on Romani’s part, for the fact that when Fou didn’t like something he usually picked it up and threw it. All that the doctor knew was that by the end of it all, he was glad that it was over, and now had a new understanding of the hardships mothers go through in their day to day lives.
After setting the tray down, Romani let out a sigh of relief. “Oh dear,” he murmured to himself, “I do hope that Da Vinci finishes that medicine soon...”
When he turned, he caught eyes with the little Fou, who was licking his hands off and rubbing at his little cheeks as if he were still a tiny creature trying to groom himself. As unsanitary as it was, Romani still felt his heart melt at the sight. His cheeks were so round, so cute! And his little hands! His ears!
Clearing his throat, Romani carefully got down on one knee, smiling gently at the little boy. “Okay, Fou, now that you’ve eaten... are you feeling sleepy? Do you want to take a nap?”
Fou sniffed against his palms and raised his head, blinking owlishly at Romani. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head, ears pinning back. “Fou!” He shouted, turning around and beginning to waddle off in another direction.
Romani, not really knowing what to do, blinked back his thoughts and stood up to follow. “Huh? Oh, please, Fou, we need to go...”
But Fou was dead set on his exploration, his shoes making a pitter-patter noise on the tile as he sped up. Romani, slightly exasperated, rushed forward to try and follow the courageous little boy. Was it just him, or was Fou even more energetic in this form than usual?
Fou led Romani out of the cafeteria, trotting back into the halls with a bounce of his fluffy tail. “Fou!” He chirped as he went along, his ears swiveling every which way as he took in the various sounds of Chaldea bustling around him. There was so much space for adventure.
“Are you not going to slow down?” Romani called, genuinely at a loss. He didn’t understand why Fou just wasn’t complying. Then again, Fou was never one to perfectly comply to anything even while he was a little animal, especially if it dealt with Merlin. Romani was just about ready to grab him and see if he could swaddle him in a blanket and pray for the time being.
But then, his expression shifted. An idea was brewing. Fou was a child, yes? And what was one surefire way to tucker out a child and get them napping?
Playing.
A wide grin began to spread on the doctor’s face, and he made an effort to up his pace. Just a little, not enough to be obvious, but enough to start gaining on Fou. “Fou, don’t you dare go any further!” Romani called in an overexaggerated tone, beginning to raise his hands. “Don’t you dare do it! Don’t you dare!”
Fou glanced over his shoulder at Romani, and though his expression had a habit of never changing, his eyes did widen a little and his ears perked up. He began to put on a little burst of speed, growing from a trot to a run.
Perfect. He took the bait.
With his plan successfully in motion, Romani once again picked up the pace, trying to stay constant with Fou. “Ahh, you little troublemaker!” He laughed, wiggling his fingers at the retreating boy. “I’m gonna get’cha! I’m gonna get’cha!”
That must have been the right thing to say, because Fou was running even faster, holding out his little arms and letting out an excited chirp. And thus, the game was on. Fou was in the lead, running down the long hallway with the rhythmic tapping of his shoes on the tile, and Romani wasn’t far behind, specifically not going top speed as to let Fou feel like he was winning.
The little boy was letting out squeals of excitement as he slid around a corner, nearly running into the wall from lack of traction. He pushed off with a hand and ran his way down, swiftly followed by the heavy thud of Romani running into the same wall. “Ah!” He hissed, but quickly rebounded, racing off to follow Fou’s fluffy tail. “Ahh, you’re so fast! Get back here, ya little rascal!”
Fou decided to turn down a hallway that had numerous voices. He was coming up on Yan Qing and Edmond, who seemed to be engaged in a casual conversation that involved a lot of gesticulating on Yan Qing’s part.
“And that’s how you carve a Halloween pumpkin in under ten seconds flat,” he finished up with a clap of his hands. “Definitely enough to impress anyone of your choosing. Including the Master... wink wink.”
“Please don’t audibly say ‘wink’ when you wink,” Edmond muttered, giving Yan Qing a very judgmental squint. “But I suppose your advice is... substantial. However, what if what I want to carve is detailed—”
Fou raced right through the space between them both. Their eyes followed the fleeing boy, mouths slightly open.
“What the fuck is that?” Yan Qing croaked. “Seriously, what is that?”
“Excuse me!” Romani shouted, squeezing his eyes shut and praying he won’t be in too much trouble if he shoved right through. But alas, he couldn’t stop running, so he could only shout out his warning and hold out his arms to break any potential falls that may happen.
Luckily, the two Servants heard him just in time. Yan Qing jumped back with a shout, while Edmond stepped back and passed seamlessly through the wall in a veil of darkness. He reappeared beside Yan Qing, half-out of the wall, just in time to see Romani stumble past and continue his run after the little boy.
“Should we... go after him?” Edmond asked, tilting his head at Romani’s retreating form.
“No, no,” Yan Qing said, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene. “He’s... Doctor Roman’s probably got it.”
Romani had thought this was an excellent idea when he began. But of course, he did not account for the route around the facility that Fou may take. Being seen by too many Servants would be a big issue, lest word got back to Merlin that a suspiciously-Fou-like-human-boy was wandering around, and Fou had been so conveniently missing. His only hope was to try and corral Fou into a set circle to run around in, or—fingers crossed—a room he could fall asleep in.
With a tiny burst of speed, Romani stomped down into Fou’s path before he could go down another hall, holding his hands out wide. “Boo!”
Fou, startled, shouted and made a quick turn. Romani let out a breath of relief before continuing to run, his ponytail flying behind him with each quick step. He was only jogging, admittedly, but he was suddenly aware that he was also starting to get tired. Fou had so much energy!
Just when all hope seemed lost, Romani lost the last bit of hope he didn’t even know he had. It was Artoria. “GAH! ARTORIA! WAIT!” He cried out, but alas...
Fou ran straight into her with a resounding thud.
“Oh!” Artoria gasped, deftly swinging one leg back and leaning down to grab Fou before they both went down. Romani could only watch in horror as Artoria lifted the little boy up, staring at him for a moment as she opened her mouth to speak. But no sound came out, her face being overtaken by recognition.
Romani, on the other hand, could not stop running. He actually had to turn and crash into the wall for the umpteenth time today to keep from hitting Artoria and Fou, earning a loud but muffled shout from the poor man. Artoria stared at him, not really knowing what to say.
“Doctor!” She finally gasped after an eternity. “Am I holding who I think I’m holding right now!?”
“NO!” Romani cried, peeling himself off the wall and waving a hand. “Whatever you’re thinking, that’s not Fou!”
“Fou!” Fou yelped.
Romani immediately slapped a hand over his face and groaned.
Artoria looked down at Fou, going paler than the moon itself. She was trying to wrap her head around the fact that he was looking back at her with a very human face, as casual as an everyday Sunday. He wiggled his little legs, looking down with some confusion. He’d been picked up quite a bit today, which was saying something considering the amount of people that liked to pick him up when he was a tiny animal.
“Doctor,” Artoria said, the slowness in her voice an obvious danger. “Why is Fou... a human... ish... boy?”
Romani hissed between his teeth, having dreaded that question since the beginning. He hung his head and clasped his hands together, rubbing at the webbing between his fingers through his gloves. “Okay, okay, long story short, he got into the lab while I wasn’t looking and ingested something that turned him human. Da Vinci is working on a cure as we speak.”
“What could you have possibly been working on in there to turn Fou into... this!?” Artoria gasped, holding Fou up higher and turning him this way and that to get a good look at his strange new body. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s adorable. But this isn’t what he’s supposed to be! Fou, did this hurt!?”
Fou just waved his little arms, reaching out with a foot to prod at Artoria. “Fou.”
That answer seemed to satisfy her, and she set him down with a sigh. “Well, if you said a cure is being worked on, and he doesn’t seem to be in pain... my word, this is insane.”
“Believe me, it’s been quite the journey for everyone involved,” Romani sighed. “I just fed him, and I’m trying to chase him around to see if he’ll get tuckered out and nap. He’s already escaped me once!”
Artoria clicked her tongue, crossing her arms over her chest as she scrutinized the little boy at her feet. “Have you tried giving him some nighttime medicine?” She asked, watching as Fou began to curiously tug at her dress and rub his face against the soft fabric. Her expression softened, and she reached down to scratch him behind the ear.
“I don’t think I’d be able to get him to stay still,” Romani sighed. “He was already quite fussy about eating, and he liked what he was being fed. I can only imagine the mess he’d make if given something that doesn’t taste good.”
“I see,” Artoria muttered as she continued to scratch at Fou’s head. Luckily, the little boy still seemed to enjoy his head scratches, leaning into Artoria’s hand with closed eyes and a rumbling purr in his throat. Even Artoria Pendragon herself couldn’t resist clicking her tongue and letting out a soft “aww” at the sight of his contentment.
Even the doctor had to admit, Fou was adorable. But he had to make one thing clear to Artoria. “Please, don’t tell Merlin,” he whispered with a shake of his head. “I’d like for this whole thing to just be behind us as soon as possible.”
“Don’t tell me what?”
In that short instant, the collective three had forgotten Merlin’s tendency to pop up wherever he please. And oh, as the fates decreed, why wouldn’t he pop up where his name was spoken most? In that moment, there was a sudden rush of adrenaline and panic. Romani and Artoria both screamed at the exact same time, and in a split-second decision, Artoria grabbed both sides of her cape and wrapped Fou up like a hostage as they both turned to face the Magus of Flowers.
Merlin was standing there with a little grin, looking as ethereal as ever. His hair seemed to be flowing despite the lack of wind, a little charm he placed himself. “Oh, wow. You two should see your faces,” he laughed, pointing a finger at Romani before trailing to Artoria. “What, discussing plans without me? Ooh, how scandalous!”
The doctor and the king both made eye contact, a thousand panicked words shared between their gazes. Artoria decided to take charge, clearing her throat as she turned back to Merlin. “Yes... what we’re discussing involves you. But you’re not allowed to listen, for it’s a surprise.”
Merlin perked up, his violet eyes widening just a tad. “Oh, wow, a surprise? For me? You shouldn’t have!” He laughed, tilting his head at the two. “What’s the occasion, huh?”
“Halloween!” Romani blurted out. “Halloween gift-giving. Party event. Big stuff, you don’t wanna spoil it.”
Merlin blinked owlishly, much like how Fou tends to do. He began to look somewhere into the unsaid distance between the two, and Romani felt a pang of anxiety shoot through him. In an instant, he was leaping forward and grabbing Merlin by the shoulders, shaking him like a madman. “Hey! Hey! Don’t use your Clairvoyance to figure it out! Stop that, you blasted rat!”
The shaking pulled Merlin out of his Clairvoyant haze, and he immediately began to laugh as he raised his hands in mock surrender. “Come on, I’m curious! You can’t hide anything from me forever, doctor!”
“It- it ruins the surprise, you oaf!” Artoria hurriedly shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Merlin and keeping one hand tugging at her cape. “If you knew any better, you would—”
Fou, having heard Merlin’s voice and had an instinctual need to attack, wiggled his way out from the cape in a blur of white. He took a running jump, readied his fist, and slammed his little knuckles directly into Merlin’s chin. Spit flew as Merlin’s head was knocked aside, and Romani and Artoria could only look on in agonizing horror.
Merlin stumbled back, raising a hand to try and rub at the sore spot on his jaw. He turned his head to try and see what hit him, but Romani side-stepped in front of Fou, holding out his hands and shaking his head. “It’s not what it looks like!” He cried out, waving his hands and moving every which way to try and block Merlin’s sight. “That’s just... a new Servant! His name is— uh, Kou!”
Artoria leaned down and tried to wrap Fou back up in her cape, letting out a panicked little squeal. But Fou jumped aside, his ears pinned back as he began to advance towards Merlin once more. The Magus only stared, eyes wide as Fou marched right up to him and smacked him on the leg.
A very long silence was shared then. And alas, Merlin raised his head, pointing down at Fou.
“Cath Palug looks... taller than I remember.”
Defeated sighs, all around.
“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” The doctor groaned, clasping his hands together and bowing his head in an attempt to convey his sincere apologies. “There was an accident! The lab was open, and Fou ingested something, Da Vinci is working on a cure, I swear! This is temporary! Please don’t be mad!”
However, instead of immediately casting curses on all who wronged his ‘precious’ familiar, Merlin had the exact opposite reaction. A smile curled across his features, and he tossed his head back and began to cackle. The sound rang out throughout the hallway, stopping both Romani and Artoria in their tracks.
“Mad? You think I’d be angry at the fact you turned Cath Palug into this adorable little critter?” Merlin chuckled, squatting down to be level with Fou. “Look at how much fun he’s having!”
Fou wrinkled his nose up at Merlin, letting out a tiny growl when the Magus came close. He was having fun before, yes, but that fun stopped after running into the dreaded Merlin.
Artoria clasped her hands together in front of her, head tilting as she watched the scene play out. “Hm... how strange. I had thought the inconvenience would’ve at least put you in a sour mood, Merlin. I’m glad to see you’re finding joy in Fou’s little... predicament.”
Romani was already peeling himself back upright, shoulders slumping downward with relief. “Thank every god in the whole entire universe! I thought I was gonna get turned into a porcupine as punishment...”
“Come now, I’m not Circe,” Merlin giggled. He then had the utter gall to reach his hand out towards the little Fou, aiming to pat the little boy on the head. “I would never abuse my power like—”
Fou reared his leg back, and with a cry that would strike fear into the hearts of gladiators, rammed his foot right between Merlin’s legs and ruined everything that the incubus’ son stood for.
The squeal that came from that powerhouse of magic was downright comical.
________________________________________________________________________________
“Okay, so, what do we do when we see someone we don’t like very much?”
“Fou!”
“That’s right! We ignore them and move on!”
Putting away the quickly thrown together flash cards he was using to try and teach Fou social behavior, the doctor handed the tiny child a wrapped piece of candy. Fou took it with the purest excitement in the world, unwrapping the watermelon treat with a smile.
Merlin was still down for the count, curled up on the couch and occasionally whimpering like a kicked dog. Nobody was paying him any attention, currently showering the praise on Fou, because wow! He was learning so fast! And definitely not because Merlin totally deserved getting a good kick to the nuts or anything.
“How about this?” Artoria asked, reaching for a random card and holding it up. “How do we feel about this person?”
Fou blinked owlishly at the crudely drawn picture of Ritsuka. He smiled, even if the corners of his eyes didn’t quite curl like they should have. “Fou!”
“Aw, yeah!” Romani giggled, reaching out and taking another card. “And this one? How about this person?”
This time around, Fou raised his hand and pointed excitedly at the prettily drawn picture of Da Vinci. “Fou!” He beamed, his ears perked.
“Yaaaay!” Both the doctor and the king cheered, clapping their hands in congratulation. Romani shuffled through the flash cards until he found Merlin’s, which was actually a picture of him they had found floating around the internet and taped onto the card. How Merlin found himself a cell phone and service to take a picture, who knows, but he did look rather dashing in sunglasses and a V-neck.
“Okay, okay, look over here Fou,” Romani cooed as he held up the flash card. “How do we feel about this person?”
Fou turned his head, expecting another delightful person that he liked, however was met with that smug lip bite of Merlin figuring out how selfies work. He narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his nose, ears folding backwards against his head. But instead of immediately jumping forward and trying to maul the card like the last few times, he turned his head away with a tiny huff and a cross of his arms.
The doctor and the king both began clapping again, laughing all the while. “Oh, what a good job!” Artoria said with a big smile. She reached into the nearby bowl of candy and handed Fou another one, this time a good old-fashioned chocolate. “You’re doing so good, Fou!”
Merlin, still laying there on the couch and watching with partially open eyes, groaned. “I feel like I’m being antagonized.”
“A little,” Romani mused. “All in good fun.”
As Fou enjoyed his sweet treats, Artoria took it upon herself to stand up from the floor she’d been sitting on. “I’m glad we’ve been able to instill a little bit of humanity in our tiny friend,” she said with a nod towards Fou. She then turned back to Romani, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ll go grab some pillows and blankets. We can set up a little fort for Fou.”
“You’re a godsend, your highness,” Romani laughed with a hand to his chest and a mock little bow. “Thank you so much.”
Merlin spoke up once more. “Can you bring back some snacks?”
“No,” Artoria said, and politely left the room.
A sigh passed through the only two adults left, Merlin out of disappointment, and Romani out of weariness. The doctor looked down at Fou, who was now playing around with the wrapper of his little candy. The sight had Romani smiling, if only a little bit. Such pure curiosity... he’s seen this before, hasn’t he?
He held out a hand, leaning down to speak quietly. “Fou, are you tired yet? Do you wanna take a nap?”
Fou gently placed his candy wrappers in Romani’s palm, and instead of agreeing to a well-deserved nap, immediately got up from the floor and started to run across the room. Romani’s shoulders slumped as he watched Fou’s endless energy run amok, and he could only groan knowing that his future was full of many more antics to come.
As he went to throw away the plastic wrappers, he was vaguely aware of Merlin’s eyes following him. The Magus squinted as he looked over Romani, and the doctor wasn’t entirely sure if Merlin was trying to peer past his entire being or was just checking him out unashamedly.
“You know,” Merlin suddenly commented, “if your goal is to get him to sleep, I don’t think rewarding him with candy had been such a good idea.”
Romani raised his head, sheepishly smiling back at the Magus on the couch. “Oh, I know, I know... but come on, kids love candy! It’s all I have!”
Merlin was thoroughly amused, chuckling to himself as he pressed his forearm against the arm of the couch. Pushing himself upright, slow and steady, Merlin managed to sit up with minimal pain. “You’re too kind for your own good, you little snipe.”
Fou came back from wherever he had run off— this was just a break room for the staff, so Romani wasn’t too worried about his escape right now— and held up something in his tiny hands. Said something was an entire floor lamp. Safe to say Romani went paler than a ghost.
“Fou!” He gasped, rushing forward to try and take the potential weapon from the boy. “Ah, no, no! We don’t play with those!”
However, Fou seemed adamant about keeping the lamp. He shook his head and tilted his ears back, hanging on even tighter in his tiny fists. He yanked against all of Romani’s pulls, and honestly, should it even be possible for a child this small to have such strength!? Nevertheless, Romani persisted, trying to gently tug it away from the fussy Fou.
“Fou, please, lamps aren’t toys...”
“Fou!”
As the struggle persisted, neither of them had noticed Merlin rising from the couch until he was right beside Fou. He knelt on one knee, and with a bow of his head, held out two hands. They were both clasped shut, hiding something within the palms. Fou almost hadn’t noticed them but had to do a double take when he finally did.
“Hey, Cath Palug,” Merlin cooed, “Take your pick.”
Romani watched with curiosity as Fou seemed to assess the situation. The little boy squinted with suspicion, but he did let go of one hand to hover it near Merlin’s. Interest shone like jewels in his wide eyes as he laid a hand over Merlin’s left.
Merlin carefully unwrapped his fingers, and lo and behold, there was a tiny chunk of purple crystal. Fou’s eyes widened with a gasp— he so did love shiny things, and Merlin was thoughtful enough to produce a crystal the same color as his eyes. He finally let go of the lamp to try and grab it.
But Merlin closed his hand again. “Ah-ah. Watch.”
Romani now had the lamp in his possession, but was equally as enraptured with this little magic trick as Fou was. He set the lamp down beside him on the floor and watched as Merlin held his hands out again.
Before Fou could start whining and getting angry that the crystal was gone, Merlin opened his other hand. There it was, having shifted positions despite the Magus not having moved his hands at all. Fou and Romani’s eyes both widened as Merlin shifted the crystal between his fingers, holding it up and letting the light catch upon its speckled surface. He looked proud of himself.
“Okay, now let’s try again,” he softly cooed as he clasped his hands together. When he opened them, the crystal was completely gone. He showed his hands to Fou, open this time, and leaned down to his level. “Can you find the crystal?”
Fou took Merlin’s hands in his own, lifting them up and sniffing at his palms. He looked around fervently, mouth slightly open in surprise. “Fou!” He shouted, reaching up to try and feel through Merlin’s long white locks of hair.
The Magus laughed, and now that Fou had come close enough, he wrapped an arm around the small child and pulled him into his lap. He swept his hand near the back of Fou’s robes, where his hood was left off. And he pulled out the crystal once more, holding it up to be witnessed once again.
“Almost! Wanna try again, hm?”
As Fou made noises of excitement and clapped his hands, Romani just sat there, watching Merlin entertain the little boy. For some reason, he really couldn’t remember a time where he’s seen Merlin interact with children of any kind. He was so natural in the way he was handling Fou, whether that be because he was familiar with the little thing or some other reason, the doctor wasn’t entirely sure.
His eyes softened. It was strange seeing Merlin as anything other than an annoyance.
“Okay, try again,” the Magus repeated himself, keeping the same gentle cadence as he cradled Fou in one arm. “Where’d the crystal go?”
Fou looked Merlin up and down, reaching out and patting at his sleeves. Nothing there. He touched his chest to see if he had it stuffed in a pocket, then up to his hood... nothing. Fou began looking around the room, ears standing upright and swiveling around like he was trying to listen for it. Merlin was watching him with a little smile, head subtly tilted.
At some point, Fou caught sight of Romani. He pointed his little hand, eyes wide with excitement. “Fou!”
Romani blinked, holding up his hands. “Huh? What? Am I in trouble?”
Merlin immediately started to giggle, shaking his head. Instead of answering the doctor, he leaned closer, reaching out with his free hand. Romani tensed as it came close to his face, eyes widening as they followed those manicured fingers. But alas, he only felt a slight graze in his hair, close to the curve of his ear. The touch made him shiver a little.
When Merlin pulled back, he was holding the tiny crystal between his fingers, offering it to Fou. “Good job, good job! You’re such a smart little thing, aren’t you, Cath Palug?”
Romani blinked; his hand drifting upwards to touch over the ghostly sensation Merlin had left behind. He hadn’t felt the crystal being placed there at all, yet what he witnessed was undeniable. Oh, what a strange place to hide something... if Fou hadn’t found it, would Merlin just let the doctor walk around with a crystal like that in his hair all day?
The doctor cleared his throat, lowering his hand again. “Ah... good job, Fou.”
Merlin’s plan had worked perfectly. Now that Fou had the satisfaction of winning a game, and a prize to hold in his hands, he wasn’t even complaining about having wandered right into Merlin’s arms. The Magus shifted his hold to cradle the young Fou more securely, supporting his legs and his head both so he was somewhat laying down. He settled into it so naturally.
By now Merlin had just decided to lean against the couch and hold Fou. Romani didn’t really know what to do with himself. He was just an awkward witness to Merlin’s ways of calming children, but that curiosity just refused to leave him. So, he took the chance to cast aside his qualms about the Magus and shuffled in beside him, leaning against the same couch.
“How did you do that?” He asked, quiet.
Merlin lifted his head, smiling knowingly back at Romani. “What, you think this is the first time I’ve dealt with a child?” He chuckled, soft within his throat. “You should’ve seen the meltdowns Artoria would have when she was still a toddler.”
The doctor stared for a second, and then a tiny smirk pulled at his lips. A stifled laugh. It was hard to imagine one of the greatest kings in the world having once been somebody’s child. A whole legend fit into the body of a little girl chasing butterflies throughout the gardens.
“I know the legend goes that you cared for Artoria, but it still hasn’t really... settled in, I guess,” Romani shyly admitted with a rub to the back of his neck. “You’ve just never struck me as the... parenting... type.”
Merlin’s smirk curled, and he leaned in close. Close enough to make Romani lean back a little. “I understand. I’m just a little too provocative and scandalous, aren’t I? A bad influence?”
“Ah... well, that’s... that’s just poor of you to say,” Romani stammered a little. “I’d rather call it... a little too ‘Merlin’, so to speak.”
A delightful chuckle once again left the Magus. He leaned back to give Romani room, squeezing Fou against his own body. “That’s a rather generous way to put it.”
Within his arms, Fou tilted his head back and opened his mouth in a big yawn. The tips of his ears wiggled and he stretched out his little legs, much to the delight of both Merlin and Romani. The little boy turned slightly towards Merlin for warmth as he nuzzled into those white robes, quietly accepting the caress of Merlin’s hand behind his ear. It was a tender graze seldom seen from the man.
Romani’s gaze settled quietly on Fou. He’d admittedly been quite the pain today, but at the same time, seeing him with such contentment and quiet happiness on his face made the doctor forgive him entirely. He was not aware of the way Merlin was staring at him. Just from the corner of his eye, a gaze like intrigue, yet going much deeper than that surface level word. There might not have even been a word in existence to describe how Merlin was gazing at Romani.
A question that needed to be answered. He was speaking before he could think through it. “Have you ever had a child before, Doctor Archaman?”
Romani jolted out of his reverie, raising his head to regard the curious Magus. “What? Oh—” he began, then cut himself off. How does he explain the situations he’s gone through in his lifetime?
“Not... not any of my own, no. I’ve interacted with plenty within the scope of my job. I think the closest I’ve ever come to raising a child is... Mash.”
However, that itself had been a very delicate and special situation. Mash was in no way a normal child and had quite the stunted social development. Romani had tried his best with her, to at least be one kind constant in her life. Given the woman she’s grown up to be, Romani thought he did a relatively okay job. Good enough for her to become a good person.
Merlin was gazing again. His eyes were soft as he spoke in a voice much quieter than Romani had ever heard from him. “Would you ever want a child of your own?”
That got the doctor to pause. In all his time as Romani Archaman, he’d never once taken up wives or spouses like he had in his golden era. As a doctor he had delivered countless children before coming to Chaldea and lost many more. He’s seen mixed reactions of parents when they hold their babies for the first time. But he’s also been a witness to the new age of the world, the bright young minds with enough potential to cradle the earth in their palms and call it an opportunity for all.
Romani sighed, slow and steady as he glanced away for a moment. Had he ever dreamed of holding a child with his own features, the product of his own love? How nice would that be, another little Archaman in the world?
“I’m not against the idea,” Romani whispered. “But it’s a lot of responsibility. With my job and everything... I’m not sure if I could be what my child needs. If that makes sense, I mean.”
Merlin nodded along, still gently grazing Fou’s cheek with his thumb. He looked wistfully into some unseen distance, and it was hard to tell if he was watching something in the beyond or peering into the recesses of his own memory.
“It’s an incredible responsibility, yes. And I understand your position. Should the day ever come where you do decide to have children of your own, I pray it is when you are in the best position to be a father.”
Romani didn’t know what to say.
Where had any of this even come from? He could only stare at Merlin and try to fit the pieces of the puzzle together in his head. Did Merlin think he’d be a good father? Why had he even asked? Questions, questions, all which Romani struggled to get a good grasp on.
But in the end, he couldn’t help but smile. Merlin was acting strangely sweet with him right now. “You’re getting soft, you big lug.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Merlin said with a smug grin, lip curled to show a fang. “Demons aren’t soft.”
“You’re human enough to be soft, so I’m calling you soft.”
Romani had meant it jokingly, even poking at Merlin’s shoulder to drive his point home. But as he chuckled and closed his eyes, he missed the look that Merlin gave him. A soft sort of surprise on his face at the wording the doctor had chosen. For nobody could ever look upon Merlin and call him ‘human enough’.
“Ah... Roman—”
The door slid open to reveal a mass of cloth and fabric trying to squeeze its way in. Artoria had come back with quite the abundance of pillows and blankets and was currently trying to power her way through with the entire thing clutched in her arms. “I’ve arrived with bed arrangements!” She declared as she popped right through the doorway and almost stumbled.
“Oh dear,” Romani laughed, rising from the floor and holding out his hands. “Quiet, quiet! Fou’s finally going to sleep. Here, here, let me help you set everything up.”
Artoria flushed with embarrassment at her volume and apologized profusely.
Making a blanket fort was admittedly a lot more fun than Romani thought it would be. While Merlin stood off to the side rocking Fou back and forth in his arms, Romani was using the couch and a few chairs to lay out the blanket roof while Artoria was setting up the pillows inside. It wasn’t too shabby of a fort, and by the time it was done, Romani and Artoria shared a good-natured high five.
“Here we are, little one,” Merlin cooed as he approached the blanket fort. Delicately did he lay Fou down, resting his head against the nest within.
Fou stirred slightly, if only to paw and touch at the pillows around him. He got up on his hands and knees, turned a few times, and then plopped right back down with a cozy little sigh. He wrapped his tail forward to hug onto it while he slept, and thus, his carnage was sated. For now, at the very least.
The three adults in the room let out a collective sigh of relief, turning and shaking hands with each other out of congratulations. “Now we just have to wait for Da Vinci,” Romani chuckled. “From the bottom of my heart, thank you, both of you.”
“It’s always a pleasure to aid you when you need it,” Artoria said with a polite smile and a bow of her head. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to my duties. Fare thee well, doctor.”
Romani waved back at Artoria as she began to depart, a gentle smile on his face. Merlin snapped his fingers and pointed a finger gun at Artoria, his eyes lighting up like stars. “Take care, Artoria! Oh, and if you’re going out, could you bring me back a souvenir? Is there chocolate where you’re going?”
“I’ll think about it,” Artoria said with a wave over her shoulder, and promptly left the room.
Merlin sighed, his shoulders slumping as he hung his head like some defeated beggar. “Oh, that girl... the last time I asked, all she brought me was a postcard.”
Romani blinked back at the Magus beside him, raising a brow. “Hey, at least she still thought of you.”
The Magus raised his head again, blinking back at the doctor for a few seconds. And then, rather surprisingly, he began to laugh a little. “Is there nothing you can’t make into a lighthearted situation?”
A smile twinged at Romani’s lips as he gazed back at Merlin. He really didn’t expect it to, it was almost alarming to catch himself smiling good-naturedly at something Merlin said. But suppose the earlier conversation had softened up his view of Merlin, if only a little bit.
Before he could respond, Merlin was turning around and walking back over to the blanket fort. He got down on one knee, pulling up the flap to peer inside at the sleeping Fou. It was just a moment of gazing, but it was long enough for Romani to study the gentleness of his profile. Even he had to admit that Merlin was beautiful, however he was not sure if that beauty was natural or not.
Romani tilted his head, brushing a strand of loose hair over his shoulder. “Are you staying?”
Merlin gazed at the sleeping Fou for just a moment longer. With a sigh, he let the flap drop and stood up to adjust his robes. “I don’t see why not. Stick around for the kid, y’know?”
“I could get you a drink,” Romani continued with a vague gesture of his hand. “Something to eat, or...”
His voice trailed away from him when Merlin turned, approaching with elegant strides that made his hair flow like silk in the wind. The Magus looked upon him with a kind smile, however faux it may be. Romani bit his tongue as he looked up at the taller man, who so effortlessly overshadowed him for no reason at all.
“You’re quite the delight, aren’t you, doctor?” Merlin asked, though Romani had the sneaking suspicion that it was phrased like a real question. “Genius enough to turn my familiar into a real boy, yet kind enough to care for him and fix the quote unquote, ‘damage’. And now, here you are, offering me your comfort and kindness. If anything, I should be the one forcing you to rest.”
Romani stared, not entirely knowing what to say, his mouth slightly parted. Merlin almost never raised a finger for another man unless there was something for him to gain. But right now, the doctor couldn’t tell what that was.
“Well, I mean, I don’t mind helping—”
Merlin’s hand came forward, clasping over Romani’s shoulder like it belonged there. “Sit,” he whispered. “Let me pamper the good doctor for once, yes?”
“Oh,” Romani gasped as he plopped down onto the couch with a little bounce.
Humming a tune that the doctor didn’t recognize, Merlin crossed the room to find the nearest coffee machine. He was already setting everything up with a flick of his wrist, magic weaving through the air to put everything in its place. Coffee, creamer, a mug within. Romani felt like he was having an out of body experience. While he was indeed tired from running around all day, it felt... strange, being cared for by the Magus of flowers.
A slight squint overtook Romani’s eyes. Something was up.
Merlin eventually came back with the steaming mug of coffee, bowing his head as he handed it over. “Here you are,” he said with a smile. “Enjoy yourself while the toddler’s asleep.”
Romani was suspicious, but of course, he’d never turn down a good cup of coffee. With a raised brow he brought the mug to his lips, taking tiny sips of the scalding liquid. It burned his tongue a little, but the taste was worth it.
“What do you want, Merlin?”
Merlin chuckled deep in his throat, clasping his hands together behind his back. “What do I want? Why, is it a crime to want to care for—”
“No, no,” Romani said, firmly but not unkindly. “Merlin, you never usually do this. What do you... what do you want, exactly?”
Merlin’s smile faded, just a little. He tilted his head down at Romani, violet eyes drifting somewhere off into the distance. Was that a hesitance that Romani saw? It was a little strange to see such an expression on Merlin’s face. The Magus who knew absolutely everything that there was to know.
He took a deep breath, raising a hand and running it through his hair. “Is it too much to ask that I get a chance to try and understand you?”
Romani felt like he got hit with a baseball directly in the head. “Huh?”
Rather than immediately explaining himself, Merlin just stepped closer, looming above the seated doctor. He leaned down, his hands clasped near his chest, and his face bearing a resemblance to a stray dog begging for the attention of a kinder hand.
“Why did you call me ‘human enough’?”
Romani, against his better judgement, allowed himself to relax a little. He held the mug of coffee in his lap, thumb tracing the ceramic surface, the printed cats all along the sides. How strange it was, this man on top of the world being vulnerable with him.
“I was being honest. I do think you’re human enough.”
“Why?” Merlin goaded, leaning closer. “I’m the son of an incubus.”
“And the son of a woman,” Romani pointed out. “You’re a demon, yes. But you’re human enough to raise a daughter, and you’re human enough to earn a place within the Throne of Heroes. You’re here in Chaldea, aren’t you?”
Merlin’s eyes slightly widened. The impromptu conversation was no less striking than if he had been prepared for it. Before he knew it, he was kneeling on one knee, looking up at Romani instead of standing above him like a looming opponent.
“I don’t understand you, doctor Archaman. Have you no evil in your heart?”
Romani tilted his head, and thus moved the mug of coffee aside to the table beside the couch. “I’ve plenty evil in my heart. I am a human being, after all. I just choose to act upon my goodness rather than my evil.”
“But isn’t it your nature? How do you combat that?”
“Force of will, my friend. The same way you’ve gotten this far.”
Romani smiled, so purely, so truly. And he reached out to take Merlin’s hand in his own, squeeze it nice and tight. Merlin’s eyes momentarily darted downwards. Through the fabric of Romani’s glove, he could feel the imprint of a ring against his skin. He never took the doctor as someone who wore jewelry.
When he looked back up, he was met with Romani’s softened gaze and even softer words.
“So, yes, I think you’re human enough. To be honest, every person in this world has the capability of being an awful, no-good, disgusting person. Yet here we are, celebrating birthdays, helping animals cross the street, and teaching the young and old how to care. Demon or not, you’re human enough.”
Merlin, for the second time in his life, felt his heart clench tight in his chest. The first time he had felt this, he had been holding Artoria for the first time, an infant in his arms. The daunting realization was washing over him, holding Romani’s hand in his own. He couldn’t tell if it was born from his human self or the incubus blood— but did it matter if it was both him?
He squeezed Romani’s hand tighter, and he decided that he wanted this man.
“Doctor, I—”
The door swung open wide, and standing there with a case in hand and eyes wide like saucers, Da Vinci held up a thumbs-up of triumph. “I think I’ve got it! Where’s the kid?”
Romani and Merlin both practically jumped three feet in the air, whipping heads around to look back at Da Vinci. Said woman stood there, gazing down at the little pink flowers that were blooming at Merlin’s feet. She blinked. Romani started to redden.
“We were just having a conversation—”
Da Vinci held up her hand. “Not gonna ask. Is Fou in there?” She said, pointing to the pillow fort that had been constructed prior.
“Oh! Yes! Let me, ah...” Romani stood up from the couch, and Merlin stepped aside to let him pass. However now the group was faced with the daunting task of getting this child awake and ready for the medicine. The doctor assumed it would be an easy drink, maybe a little pill if anything...
Merlin blinked owlishly as he watched Da Vinci place the case on a nearby table, pop it open, and reveal a few different syringes. “You’re gonna give Fou a shot?”
“Listen, it was either this or two different pills that take entire days to actually settle into the system,” Da Vinci sighed as she began to pull on her gloves and sanitize the area. “I’m working with what I’ve got here.”
Romani and Merlin looked at each other and winced. This was going to be difficult.
The doctor knelt and quietly opened the flap to Fou’s pillow fort. He was still laying there, peacefully sleeping away. Romani didn’t know if he had the heart to wake Fou up now, but he knew they had to.
“Can we just give it to him while he’s sleeping?” He quietly asked.
Merlin peeked out from behind the doctor, shaking his head slowly. “Mm. I think he’d wake up before that. Best to get it over with now.”
Steeling his nerves and getting ready for the fight of his life, Romani gently reached into the pillow fort, sliding his hands beneath Fou. The little boy was already starting to stir as Romani gently pulled him out, cooing softly as he placed the little boy in his lap. “Heyyy, Fou! Good morning! We’re gonna make you all better now, okay?”
“Don’t babytalk him, he hates that,” Merlin warned. He then turned to Fou and clapped his hands together, smiling wide to try and ease the waking boy. “Are you ready to turn back into your old self, now? We’ve got a medicine for you!”
So far, Fou seemed to be doing well. He raised his little hands and rubbed at his eyes, tail laying itself over his lap. Perhaps if they could utilize the fact that he was still waking up and groggy, they could get the shot over with faster... that was a good plan, right?
Da Vinci smiled as she approached, kneeling in front of Fou and holding out a little cloth. “Fou, could you please roll up your sleeve for me? Any arm works.”
Fou slowly looked up at Da Vinci. And then his gaze traveled down to the cloth she was holding out, smelling strongly of disinfectant. And then his eyes widened as the puzzle pieces clicked in his brain, and he let out a screech loud enough to break the sound barrier as he tried to squirm out of Romani’s lap.
“Fuck!” Merlin shouted, zooming forth to try and grab at Fou’s arms. “Hold him down! Hold him down!”
“I’m trying!” Romani yelled, wrapping his arms tighter around Fou’s torso and attempting to lift him up. “Fou! We haven’t even got to the hard part! Please!”
Fou socked his fist right into Romani’s chin, making his head fly back. Fou’s punches surprisingly hurt for a child that young. Merlin immediately started cracking up laughing at the sight of the good old doctor getting similarly decked by Fou.
“Fou, please, the needle doesn’t even hurt!” Da Vinci hissed as she went in to try and grab an arm. Her fingers closed around Fou’s tiny wrist as she yanked his sleeve upwards to the shoulder, furiously beginning to wipe at the warm skin. Fou was kicking like a madman, screeching and flapping his ears every which way.
Da Vinci let go to lunge for her supplies, and Fou’s free arm immediately tried to smack at Merlin’s head. Merlin hissed, taking Fou’s legs while Romani took his arms, wrapping a leg around him just to keep him still. The screeching was absolutely horrible, and in all honesty, this looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Especially with how Da Vinci was brandishing her syringe, giving the glass a few flicks to help the medicine settle.
“Fou, please, it’s not even going to hurt...”
Beyond the wall, Yan Qing and Edmond were once again walking down the hall, chatting it up like usual. Approaching the closed door, however, they heard the wails and screams of Fou being subjected to a shot, and the subsequent yelling of all the adults in the room.
Edmond held up his hand to stop Yan Qing, who almost choked on the caffeinated juice he was drinking straight from the can. The two of them looked at the door, listening to the cacophony going on from within.
“Fou! Down, boy, down!”
“HE’S BITING MY HAIR!”
“GAH! NO! MY ANKLE! MY ANKLE!”
Yan Qing and Edmond both slowly turned their gaze towards one another. Now, as a pairing of an Assassin and an Avenger, they both were fully capable of jumping in to save the day, assuming somebody (or multiple people) were being mauled by the little monster they had seen earlier. However, it was also a crucial factor that they were both on their day off.
“And that’s when I noticed that my calamari looked suspiciously like spinach tortellini,” Yan Qing continued with his story, continuing his walk past the door.
“Really?” Edmond mused as he followed, hands in his pockets. “What incompetent waitstaff.”
Within the room came a gasp of victory. “I did it!” Da Vinci yelled as she pulled the syringe from Fou’s skin, slapping a dinosaur themed band-aid down on the wound. Almost immediately did Fou stop squirming, looking down at his arm with all the offense a child could muster.
Romani and Merlin immediately let Fou go, and off he went, crawling quickly towards the pillow fort and disappearing inside. Merlin groaned and tilted backwards, laying down on the floor after the effort of restraining that little beast. Chuckles were shared all around.
“So... how soon is it gonna kick in?” Romani asked, leaning back and brushing his bangs out of his face, slightly out of breath.
Da Vinci was already disposing of the needle, putting everything back into her case with a satisfied nod. “Give it a minute. He should be crawling out as good as new in a little bit.”
“You know, I wouldn’t have minded if he stayed a little human,” Merlin chuckled from on the floor. “But I suppose that wouldn’t be good for humanity if the Gods let him have hands for too long.”
Da Vinci smiled as she peeled her gloves off, throwing those away as well. She lifted herself from the floor and grabbed her case, sealing it shut until she’d eventually need it again. For now, they could all just put this event behind them, thank God.
“I truly am sorry for the inconvenience, Merlin,” she said with a glance over her shoulder. “If there’s anything we can do to compensate you...”
Merlin was quiet as he laid there, pondering while his eyes traced patterns in the ceiling. His nefarious tendencies flared with a smirk to his lips, and he turned onto his side, propping up his elbow and placing his chin in his hand.
“Actually, yes, something does come to mind. Doctor Archaman, next time you’re free, I wanna go shopping.”
Romani gasped, a look of incredulity passing over his features. Immediately he started waving his hands, shaking his head. “Wait, wait, why me!? Da Vinci was a part of this, too! She’s the one who made the offer!”
Da Vinci smirked in kind, placing her hands on her hips and nodding to the incredibly smug Merlin. “Consider it done, Grand Caster. Roman’s all yours this coming Thursday.”
“I didn’t consent to this!” The poor doctor cried.
It was then that the flap to the blanket fort shifted, a little grumble sounding from within. A little white shape pushed its way out, nose twitching and tiny paws kneading at the ground. Fou was once again back to normal, his tail drooping and his ears tilted down. His fur was all matted like he’d just taken a thousand-year nap.
“Oh, there he is,” Merlin cooed, leaning forward and scooping Fou up into his hand. “Are you feeling better now, Cath Palug?”
“Fou...” the little beast muttered and lightly slapped at Merlin’s cheek.
Da Vinci giggled at the sight, silently glad that everything had gone on without a hitch. “He might be a little groggy for a while. That's normal. Come find me if anything else strange starts happening, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be fine.”
“Thank you so much, both of you,” Merlin mused as he stood upright and tucked Fou into his arms. “Well, I’d better get this little guy to bed. Isn’t that right, Cath Palug? You sleepy?”
Fou grumbled something, clearly wishing he was tall again.
As Merlin exited the room, Da Vinci and Romani followed suit. Da Vinci was already sighing, reminding Romani about needing to go over the lab safety slideshow presentation again, just to make sure this situation didn’t repeat. Romani sheepishly agreed, dreading the rather shoddily made presentation crafted by his predecessors.
Though, something did confuse him.
“Say, Merlin?” Romani spoke up, hurrying his pace to walk beside the Magus. “I have a question...”
“Hm?” Merlin hummed without looking back.
“You see, Fou doesn’t normally wear clothes other than that little shawl... so, when he was human, where did the rest of his clothes come from? We certainly didn’t give him those... wait, hey, where did his clothes go?”
Merlin was quiet for a moment, staring quizzically down at Fou. The little beast was curled up in a tiny ball, just a tad bigger than Merlin’s hand. He really did try to think of an explanation, but all he could do was chuckle good naturedly.
“After being a Magus all my life, I’ve learned that some things just aren’t worth questioning.”
And Romani, tired from the escapades of the day, nodded in turn.
“Yeah. Probably for the best.”