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Justin opened the heavy door to the loft and was surprised to see that the lights were on, and even more surprised to find Brian sitting in a chair watching one of his favorite James Dean movies, which he immediately knew was not a good sign. He really felt like shit for what had happened, he knew he had fucked up and wished he could take it back but that just wasn't happening so now he had to face the inevitable which made his heart pound like crazy. God, he really wished he could just take it back because seeing the look on Brian's face was unbearable.
Brian really didn't have to say much, because his face said it all. He was pissed and he was hurt. But most of all, he felt betrayed. Of course he would never admit it out loud, not to anyone, but he was screaming inside because Justin had broken the rules. The rules he'd fucking insisted on. He'd fucking kissed the guy. And he didn't even bother to admit it to Brian, he just let him figure it out on his own, which honestly made the whole thing so much worse. And not only that, he bolted as soon as Brian said it out loud and avoided him all day. He just couldn't even face him. So he was a cheater and a coward. And Brian had every right to be pissed at him... but still, Justin wasn't ready for the icy shower he was about to get.
Brian didn't even look at him as Justin walked towards him, his eyes safely glued to the TV screen. "You're not in Babylon?" Justin asked just to break the silence.
"No," Brian replied dryly. "I wasn't in the mood."
"You're always in the mood." Justin chuckled and took off his jacket and put it on the couch.
"Well, not tonight," Brian shrugged, still not looking at him, making Justin feel very uncomfortable... which he no doubt deserved, but he hated it.
"Oh." Justin swallowed nervously, unsure of what else to say. Then he stepped even closer to him and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. Brian just smiled softly and rolled his lips in. "God, he's such a hot looking guy. I wish we could fuck him," Justin said, looking at the TV with a smile, hoping to get a reaction out of Brian.
"Mhm," was all Brian said in response.
Justin immediately closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really hoped Brian was over it by now, not that he deserved to be forgiven so easily, but he really wished they could just forget it ever happened. He just wanted his Brian back. But it was obvious that Brian wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily... which honestly surprised Justin in a way, because Brian usually preferred to pretend the problem didn't exist so he wouldn't have to acknowledge it let alone talk about how it made him feel, but that clearly was not the case this time.
So it was time for Justin to put on his big boy pants and fix what he'd fucked up.
"It was just a kiss," he said finally. "It meant absolutely nothing, but... I'm really sorry, Brian."
Brian snorted without realizing it, and was angry with himself for that reaction. He didn't like to show his emotions. But he just couldn't help himself. He was that pissed.
"Okay," he said, clearing his throat.
"Brian," Justin knelt down beside the chair and looked up at him. "I screwed up, I know I did. And I'll apologize a million times if I have to."
Brian scoffed and turned the TV off. Then he got up and headed straight to the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a big sip before finally looking Justin in the eye. "Sorry is bullshit, Sunshine, I thought you knew that," his voice was full of irony
"Yeah, I know that," Justin replied to Brian's statement. "It is bullshit. But I really am sorry. And I wish I could take it back. I hate that I broke our rules. I don't know what I was thinking when I kissed him, but I promise you it won't happen again."
Brian pressed his tongue against his cheek, clearly thinking and making Justin nervous as hell. Maybe he was about to tell him to pack his shit and get the fuck out, he honestly wouldn't blame him to be fair, but he really hoped it wouldn't come to that.
"We don't have to follow these stupid rules if you don't want to, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd say so," Brian said finally and let out a big breath.
"What? No!" Justin quickly shook his head. "God, that's the last thing I want. I never should have kissed him. I'm such a stupid asshole."
"Or... maybe you should have," Brian said after a moment of silence, shocking Justin.
"What?" Justin breathed.
"Maybe you should..." Brian paused, clearly struggling to finish the rest of his sentence. "Christ, I cannot believe I'm about to say this, but... maybe you should find someone younger... someone your age..."
Justin's jaw literally dropped. "Why the fuck would you say that?"
"Well, why not? You're twelve years younger than me. Twelve, Justin! That's a lot if you ask me."
"And since when does that bother you?"
"I'm just saying that even I know I'm not getting any younger, and that maybe you should find someone your own age. Someone who can give you... what I can't."
"Jesus Christ, I must be fucking dreaming." Justin ran a hand over his face, then put it on the kitchen counter and looked at Brian. "Listen to me, Brian. Are you listening?"
"Yes, I'm fucking listening," he replied, a bit annoyed.
"Good, because I'm only going to say this once, so get it through your thick skull." Justin looked dead serious. "I want you and only you. I love you and I don't care about the age gap, never have, never will. If anything, I find it sexy," he bit his lip in the way that always gave Brian a hard-on. "God, since when do you doubt yourself?"
"Careful, Sunshine. I never doubt myself, I just know when to acknowledge something that's right in front of my eyes."
"The only thing in front of your eyes right now is me and I'm fucking horny, so do you want to do something about it?" Justin put his hand on his hip and arched an eyebrow.
Finally, Brian smiled. "Are you trying to shut me up with your dick?"
"If I have to, then yes," Justin chuckled.
Brian snorted a laugh. "I'm fucking serious, Justin."
"So am I." Justin stood his ground. "I don't want one stupid meaningless kiss to come between us. I understand if you don't believe a single word that comes out of my mouth because I broke your trust and I fucking hate it, but there isn't a single molecule of my body that doesn't want to be with you and I think that's been pretty clear from the start," Justin smiled knowingly.
Brian sighed heavily and scratched the back of his head. "You're a fucking smartass, you know that?"
"Yeah." Justin exhaled and started walking closer to Brian, pulling his shirt up.
"What are you doing?" Brian asked, his eyes darkening.
"I'm about to show you that you truly are the only one I want to kiss on the mouth," he smiled and took his shirt off, his nipples hard. "And other parts of your body," he added, squeezing Brian's biceps.
"Oh really?" Brian arched his brows and licked his lips.
"Mm-hm." Justin murmured in agreement. "I mean, if you let me," he gave him a horny grin and pressed himself against his body, feeling that Brian was already hard. "Well, I guess that's my answer." Justin chuckled and cupped Brian's erection.
"Aaah," Brian gasped. "You really know how to wrap me around your little finger, don't you?" He asked, his breathing heavy.
"I'm simply irresistible," he whispered in his ear, which he then licked and pulled Brian's fly down. "God, you really have a beautiful cock," he sighed softly. "I'd love to have it inside me," he murmured against his mouth.
Brian's lips stretched into a smile, he loved hearing that. "You want me to fuck your tight little ass?"
"Yes." Justin breathed, and could no longer help himself, he just had to kiss him. Hard and deep. Brian immediately leaned into the kiss, pulling Justin closer to him.
"Wow." Brian breathed out, smiling like an idiot, his forehead pressed against Justin's. He then put a finger to Justin's lips, lightly stroking them. "Mine," he whispered after a moment. "Only mine."
"Yours." Justin agreed.
Brian's lips immediately curled into a smile as he looked deeply into Justin's eyes while running his fingers through his hair. "Never again, okay?"
"I promise." Justin whispered.
Brian took a deep breath and gave Justin another passionate kiss, ready to take what was his right in the middle of that kitchen. "Turn around," he ordered, sending a chill down Justin's spine.
"With pleasure," Justin replied and did as he was told.