Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hashirama! Quit daydreaming you nearly feel again!” Tobirama roughly nudged his brother.

“Sorry Tobi, I just can’t wait to write Mito about this!” The heir replied dreamingly, his lovely fiance had sent him a letter back just before his journey home and since then he had been thinking about what he’d write back to her.

He was also so happy about how well this meeting went with the Uchiha, they were more than amenable to their father’s wishes. Their father was calm as well, he didn’t throw any subtle insults or glares at the Uchiha delegation’s way.

“Don’t call me that!” Tobirama hissed, narrowing his eye behind the pink-tinted lenses. Since Itama’s death, Tobirama has been highly alert for Uchiha ambushes. Keeping his senses as active and wide as possible. “And you’ll write to her soon enough so stop daydreaming and focus on your surroundings!”

“You’re too paranoid…” The older whined, why was his brother always so antagonistic?

“And you’re too optimistic!” The albino huffed, glaring daggers at his older brother. Hashirama was too optimistic for a shinobi, believing that the Senju and Uchiha would one day hold hands and dance in circles around a bond fire with flowers in their hair but life wasn’t that simple, that kind, they were shinobi for crying out loud, they were lucky to survive until they were thirty.

“But it went so well!”

“Of course it did, they wouldn’t want to look bad in front of the daimyo, that’s just suicide at that point!” bellowed. How could his brother be such a fool? The Uchiha literally had a damn child-killing squad that took away both Kawarama and Itama from them, they were just innocent children playing around, how could he… just because he befriended one damn Uchiha child, who also wanted peace. His brother truly was too naive.

“Just watch me Tobirama!” Hashirama bellowed and stopped at the spot, Tobirama copying his moves with a jolt. How could he not see how the Uchiha were trying their best, did the stupid tinted glasses their father insisted Tobirama wore at court truly blind him to their genuine remorse? The anger Madara showed when his father, um Tajima (?) admitted to having a child-killing squad, did he see the guilt in the man’s face when he admitted to establishing the squad because of the death of his wife? He said he had forgotten about it until it was too late.

“Hashirama…”

“NO!” Hashirama yelled, why didn’t Tobirama trust him, ever since Itama died Tobirama has been overbearing, constantly treating him like a child. Like he couldn't protect himself. “Why are you so against peace?”

“I’m not…I don’t even know what peace looks like… it sounds…rather nice” Tobirama breathed out. Hahirama’s eyes sparkled at the admission. “But I just don’t think it’s realistic…”

“Oh Tobi…” He embraced his younger brother. “In the future, we will have peace, I’ll make sure of it!”

Tobirama didn’t believe him but he knew that one day even Hashirama would have to realize that peace was just but a dream. Sensing that the rest of the Senju delegation was already quite far away he gestured at the path in front “Let’s get going…”

“Yeah, let’s go home!” The brunette smiled. He started to tell the younger boy about his dreams, about the village he and Madara dreamed of. He felt Tobirama easing out, even smiling, which was rare for the albino. They made it closer to the group when suddenly Tobirama’s face contorted, grabbing his katana and pushing Hashirama down. “Tobi?!”

And a clash of metal was heard as Tobirama blocked the ambusher. Their swords clashed again and again. Hashirama could only watch as his brother fought the mysterious man in black. Even if Tobirama was a protege he couldn’t hold up with an experienced swordsman and in a flash he felt his shoulder being penetrated drawing a pained scream, shocking everyone around including the attacker who stood back in horror. “No…” the man rasped. “I’ve ha-”

“Tobirama!” Butsuma yelled. The clan head swiftly cut through the man’s neck and collected the white-haired boy in his arms “Investigate and bring Hashirama home safely.” he shouted and dashed to the compound with a bleeding Tobirama.

Hashirama could only watch his father disappear with Tobirama, when they were gone he looked down at the decapitated head of the attacker with dread creeping onto him more making his eyes water. “Please be ok…

Chapter Text

“Is he going to be ok…” Hashirama asked one of the shinobi escorting him. The man didn’t say a thing but his expression was pained, which was enough for Hashirama to panic. Not Tobi too, no no no, not him too, tears were streaming down his cheeks. 

When they arrived at the Senju compound they were greeted by one of the kinder elders. “Go freshen up my boy, Butsuma wants to talk to you!” Hashirama followed her orders but not before taking both his and Tobirama’s things to their respective rooms. He took a lukewarm bath and stopped by the healing halls, hoping to figure out how his ototo was, was he alive, was he…dead? He hiccuped at the thought. But nobody paid any attention to him so he left.

 “I’ll be sending a message to the Uchiha then. Thank you, you’re dismissed…” The Uchiha did this, the Uchiha orchestrated the attack, but they were so nice and they were mad about what happened to his brother, no. Hashirama slid down the wall as tears started streaming down his face, how could they do this? He was so deep in his despair that he didn’t notice the door to his father’s study had opened, nor did he hear his father calling his name, he jolted out of his turmoil by a firm yet gentle shoulder pat. With wide eyes, he followed the hand on his shoulder to look up to see his father’s pained expression. “Hashirama, follow me.” Butsuma gently ordered his eldest son.

The Senju heir sat down at the seat his father pointed to in silence, vary of the situation they have been thrown in. A couple of minutes passed as his father contemplated how to approach the topic. “Your brother is in stable condition…” At that Hashirama let out a breath, his chest already feeling a lot lighter “However I am disappointed in you, I trained you better than this, your reaction was lacking…” Hashirama nodded, his father was right, he was a shinobi, he was supposed to be faster, he was supposed to think fast, not sit there like a helpless civilian. “I let you both down, so you’ll be training more on reaction time, you need to train more on this, if it wasn’t for your brother’s swift action, it would be you who could have been stabbed Hashirama, do you understand that?”

“Yes, father…”

“Good, we’re on the same page.” The clan head smiled for a brief second before frowning again. “ Now go get some rest, you must be tired…from everything. You’ll start your training tomorrow as well, anything else?”

“Can I write to Mito before I have to go to bed?” he inquired hopefully.

“Of course but then you go directly to sleep, you can send your message tomorrow. Good night Hashirma.”

“Good night father.” Leaving the study felt almost freeing, he had disappointed everyone, especially his father and brother but thankfully Tobirama was stable, and that was all that mattered to him, his brother might not be in the best condition but he was thankfully alive!

“Where is Tobirama?” His older cousin Touka asked, concerned.

“Healing halls….he got injured…” Hashirama replied. “He is stable but, oh I’m so sorry Touka, it’s all my fault, I was too into my head to focus and it’s my fault he…”Hashirama started to break down again. It was his fault he let his guard down, it was his fault they were alone, it’s his fault the Uchiha nearly killed him, he trusted the Uchiha, his best friend was an Uchiha, the heir nonetheless, it was his damn fault. He didn’t notice he started to cry and shake.

“Hashi…” Touka held him by the arms. “Breathe cousin, in and out…” And Hashirama followed her instructions, breathing slowly.

“It’s my fault, I trusted Madara over my own brother, I thought the Uchiha were good and yet one attacked and…stabbed…Tob-i…” His tears streamed down his face. “I…” His cousin hugged him and started patting his back, soothing him.

“It’s alright, as long as Tobi is alive, it’s ok…” Touka handed him a tissue.

“Thank you…” Hashirama wiped his tears. “I have to go, I need to write a letter to Mito…I’ll start new training tomorrow so I have…”

“I see, good night Hashirama, if there are any updates on Tobira I’ll tell you!” He gave a weak nod and made his way to his bedroom.

“Tobirama? How are you?” His father’s warm voice asked.

“Mhhmm…”

“Do you need a sip of water?” Tobirama nodded. Butsuma helped him up into a sitting position. Tobirama noticed that his left arm was in a sling, he was a little worried he wouldn’t have it at all because of how bad the pain was. Getting comfortable Butsuma held the cup of water to his lip for him to drink. “There we go, you were asleep for four days…” His father spoke softly. When Tobirama was done drinking he pulled the cup away. “How are you?”

“Good, I’m sorry I failed father, I…” He started weakly.

“Tobirama, you did well…you were fighting a man with many more years of experience than you, you did well…” His father’s voice was hoarse and his eyes were full of sorrow. “It is me who should apologize…” Butsuma patted the soft white hair contemplating his next words. “I’m sorry Tobirama, your arm won’t ever work as it used to…and I cannot risk you to get hurt again, you won’t be shinobi anymore…”

Tobirama’s eyes started to water as his father told him the unfortunate news. He looked at his father with anguish. He couldn’t say a word his lips just wobbled. Tobirama wanted to be a shinobi like his father and brother, he wanted to be able to protect and help, and when his younger brothers died his wishes became stronger and now his only goal in life was taken away so easily just like his little brothers.

“Shhhhhhh, please don’t cry…” Butsuma pulled his son’s head to his chest while still patting the soft hair. “You are so strong to pulling through this…”

“I want to be a shinobi, I want to protect…” He protested. He curled closer to his father, hoping this was not true, that this was just a dream.

“I know Tobirama, I know…please understand that I want you safe and all, you can still train but it’s too dangerous to fight for you, it’s a big weak point…I hope you understand…”

“Mhhm…” He did understand, but he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to give up.

“Ok…now, I’ll get the healers to look you over and you can join me and Hashirama for lunch, does that sound good?” Tobirama nodded.

“Your arm is healing well, you’ll need a lot of therapy for it to but it’ll be nearly as good as new!” The healer said, her voice was soft and kind, it made Tobirama feel better. “I wish we could have healed it more…but that’s the best we can do…” All she could do was offer him a sad smile before releasing him from the healing halls.

Hashirama felt happy to see his brother alive, yet he felt sorrow when Touka informed him of Tobirama’s condition. He felt guilty, so guilty he couldn’t look his brother in the eyes, but he still greeted him as softly as possible and Tobirama smiled at him in return, he didn’t deserve that smile, it was his fault Tobirama got wounded in the first place. Dinner was quiet and uneventful. “Father…” Tobirama spoke up. “I want to be a healer…”

Butsuma raised a brow, Tobirama looked at his with determination, the same look he gave him during their training session which made him smile. “If that's what you want, I won’t stop you. But you’re still on bed rest until the healers say otherwise…”

Tobirama nodded before going before going back to eating his food. He’s going to be a healer and maybe one day he’ll be good enough to heal his own arm and then maybe nobody has to give up on their dreams like he had to.

Seeing his little brother's determination to study healing made Hashirama incredibly happy that Tobirama didn’t lose his resolve but helping him change the bandages made Hashirama more and more livid, his little brilliant brother nearly died of his stupidity, and his trust was shattered. Fastening his blade with his armour, Hashirama looked at his younger brother one last time before going into battle with the Uchiha. “For Tobirama…”

Chapter Text

Madara staggered back as another of Hashirama’s vicious attacks hit his blade, something was off, he could already feel it when Hashirama came into his sensing range, the usually jovial forestry chakra was spiking in anger and agitation. When he first saw his friend he could tell by the fire in his eyes he was angry, the source of his anger was a mystery but thinking about that was not wise, as Hashirama retracted his sword just to swing it a little lower, thankfully Madara reacted fast enough to block the swing aimed for his his side. 

“You betrayed me!” Hashirama bellowed as they struggled in their battle of wills. Hashirama continued attacking and Madara continued to defend, it was jarring since Hashirama never tried to harm him and what did he mean by betraying him, he hadn’t done a thing. 

Madara’s back hit a tree. “What?” He managed to reply. That was the wrong move, as Hahirama in his range disarmed him, Madara’s swords flying into the air behind the Senju before his former friend lunged at him, thankfully Madara had a gunbai for backup blocking the sword attack with it, and the tree truck cracked on the impact. 

Madara swung his gunbai, making his old friend stagger back “My brother!” he swung again,  closer to the handle, aiming for his hand but Madara moved to the side and his sword impacted the tree instead. “ One of your men attacked us on our way back!” Hashirama growled as he pulled his sword off the wood.

Madara’s eyes widened, shaking his head. “What are you saying… that shouldn’t have happened…”

“Mmhm,” Hashirama agreed, before charging at him again chipping a part of the wooden gunbai.  “Any yet it happened!”

Madara could hear the anguish in his voice. Hashirama just stood there with his sword on the ground, his eyes prickling with tears. 

“Hashi, whatever you think happened, I didn’t know and I don’t agree with it…” He would cause a scene if his father even thought of doing something so disgusting. Attacking someone after they came to an agreement that was just underhanded and attacking children, just the reason for the meeting at the daimyo's palace, hold on Hashirama mentioned the attack involving his brother, the one with the white hair and pink-tinted glasses. “How is your brother?”

“He got stabbed through the arm…” Hashirama tried to swing again when Madara disarmed him gunbai. But that didn’t help much as Hashirama used his mokuton, and the trees around thundered.

“Believe me, I didn’t know of this…” Madara panicked putting his hands up, looking Hashirama up and down. “I’m sorry it happened…I-”

“RETREAT!” Both Butsuma and Tajima called out as the trees started to attack everyone in close proximity. Madara looked in the direction of his father, even if he couldn’t see his father from where they stood, he could see other Uchiha run away.

“Hashirama!” The Senju’s watery eyes looked in his direction “I’ll send you a hawk…” And Madara followed his clansmen, leaving his sword on the ground.

“This isn’t right…” He repeated to himself as he made his way to his father’s study. “Father…” Madara didn’t even knock before walking in.

“Yes?” Tajima didn’t look up from the scroll he was writing on.

“Did you send someone to attack the Senju delegation?” Madara sat down on one of the zaisus in his father’s study.

“Of course not, where did you hear that!?” His father looked up from the scroll, he was baffled. Madara narrowed his eyes.

“I heard the Senju heirs were attacked and one of them is wounded.” Madara continued.

Tajima cowered his face with both hands, sighting with defeat in his voice “Madara do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I would orchestrate something so reckless after the talk we just had at the court?” His voice raised at the last part.

“You tell me, how come the attacker was Uchiha?” Madara inquired further, eyes full of anger yet his voice was devoid of emotions.

“That because it was one of the men from the child-killing squad…” Tajima said lowly. “I lied to the Daimyo in the letter when I said we executed all of them, they are all dead, they are…” His father massaged his forehead. “but one of them escaped the prison and went after the Senju for whatever reason he saw fit…what he was thinking I don’t know…”

“How…” Madara was taken aback, what, but how did he know it was one of them?

“Butsuma sent me a letter telling me about it to go and clean the mess ‘we’ made…” Tajima finally looked at Madara. “ We came to an agreement to not tell the daimyo about the incident and we left the body in the woods to rot. Believe me, Madara, I’m not that petty to endanger the whole clan, I know better than to bring upon the wrath of the daimyo…”

“I see…” Madara stood up, he got the answers he needed. “... Thank you, father.” and left the study, he had a letter to write. The next morning he received a letter from Hashirama with a meet-up location, Madara smiled warily, deciding to take his katana with him just in case.

“I still don’t trust you and I can’t be the one to give you forgiveness…” Hashirama said solemnly. “But I still want peace with you.” A small smile graced his lips and Madara couldn’t help but smile back.

Chapter Text

“Tobi, Tobi! Mito is coming tomorrow, isn’t that exciting!?” Tobirama hummed. “Tobi, are you even listening to me?” Hashirama sulked in his brother’s lap, looking up at the younger as he read another medical book. “Tobi, are you angry?”

“No, but you are making it hard to concentrate on my studies Anjia….”

Hashirama let out a sad groan “You’re so strict Tobi, you don’t have time to spend with your brother?”

Tobirama finally put away his book and looked his brother over, unsure what to do with him. “I do but the sooner I get these studies over, the sooner I can help out…”

“Tobiiii….” Hashirama understood his brother, or at least he tried to understand him, Tobirama for all the coldness he exuded was a passionate soul and when he truly got it into his mind he could be as cold as ice and unmovable as a mountain until he achieved what he wanted. After a few more minutes Hashirama gave up and left his brother, not looking back at the younger man, not noticing how Tobirama looked after him.

“Ototo… Mito awkwardly and gently hugged Tobirama, mindful of the sling holding his injured arm. Mito loved Hashirama, and she also loved Tobirama, her brother-in-law-to-be was difficult to read, he said little, which means he revealed little, he didn’t show emotion openly like Hashirama, at first she didn’t think he was Hashirama's brother, they looked nothing alike, it didn’t sit right with her. “I’m happy you are well, I prayed for your recovery…!”

“Aneue…” The Senju acknowledged.

“I have some books for you! I know you’re not into seals but…” trailed off embarrassed. Did he even like seals at all? Without a further word, she pressed the books into his chest and left to see Hashirama.

“Thank you…” But she was too far away to hear him.

“Phew that was awkward…” Mito huffed at Hashirama’s shoulder.

“What was awkward…”

“Your brother, he is so cold…” She shuddered.

“He may not show it, but he is very passionate, albeit silently," Hashirama hummed. “Don’t worry; he likes you, he just expresses it differently…”

“Hmmm…” Mito looked at Hashirama with a doubtful expression.

“Would you like to visit the garden, I grew new flowers and trees!”

“Yes!” Mito adored Hashirama’s garden, the love he showed with his plants, always gifting her with a new plant for her own ever-growing garden back at home. Hashirama showed her every plant, their name, and told her something interesting about them the whole evening until it got dark, his voice was a melody to her ears, they ate dinner and went their separate ways.

“Aneue?” That icy voice again, Mito reluctantly turned around since it would be very rude to ignore the boy.

“Yes…?” She smiled awkwardly down at Hashirama’s younger brother.

“I uh, read this book you gifted me and I have a few questions…” Tobirama said quietly.

“Oh, of course.” Mito turned fully around as she did she could see the shine in Tobirama’s eyes, maybe he wasn’t that bad?”

“While that offer is very generous, have you tested the armour material?” Before Butsuma could give ananwser to the very irritated elder an explosion erupted in the Senju compound, Butsuma groaned knowing damn well who was responsible for it, but he also knew how he was responsible for it, with a little dread in the back of his mind he followed the gazes of the frightened clans' people to the scene of the eruption. Thankfully Tobirama was fine, the trees well not so much and he didn’t need to hear his oldest’s cries about it to know. Tobirama for all his brilliance was a curious cat, from the healers he heard about Tobirama’s unorthodox ideas for new healing methods and jutsus he isn’t interested in finding out and it has been a pain in the ass for months. Rubbing between his eyes he walked away, glad to see his kids were fine, at least…the trees, Hashirama could regrow them in seconds.

“Butsuma-sama…I think we need to do something about Tobirama…” One of the elders approached him.

“Elder Riko, I can’t possibly control him…” He groaned.

“I am not implying that at all, gods couldn’t control him…” The old woman laughed, out of the elders she was the only tolerable one, at least she didn’t hate Tobirama as the rest. “My grandson Yuki lives in the capital, you know where that medical school is maybe he can persuade some of the nobles to let Tobirama study there…”

“I’ll see about it…”

Chapter Text

Madara looked at the young woman as he waited for the order to be brought forth. Visiting his mother’s family at the capital should be a rather relaxing change of pace at least how Izuna describes it, for Madara capital was full of stuffy nobles and people ignorant to the outside world, where for people here the struggle was to wait for Madara the struggle was survival, living through another mission or battle. 

However, Madara didn't complain about being a delivery boy for his uncle when his uncle allowed him to sleep in a comfortable big bed and eat as much of the delicious food as one would allow. So Madara bit his tongue when the woman giggled in his direction, her cheeks dusted pink, fluttering her eyelashes much to Madara's chagrin. He didn't give her a reaction. “ Found it…” the boutique owner called out from the back. Her small stature was a welcome presence for Madara. “ Here it is, neatly packaged as per request. Tell your uncle I said hello!” She handed him the package and let him go on his way.

“ Will do oba-san, have a pleasant rest of the day.” He politely bowed and made his way to the door.

“Of course. Come again sometime soon.” The old woman smiled at him. He had known her since he was a young child when his mother brought him and Izuna into the capital to visit her family. The woman always smiled and treated them as her own grandchildren and would give them sweets until their teeth hurt.

“Yes, come around again!” The girl called after him, but Madara decided to ignore her invitation. When outside the shop, Madara let out a long sigh, just glad he didn’t have to talk to her again. She wouldn’t stop pestering him with questions, like what his favorite food was, his favorite books, or if he was coming again and if he wanted to go on to go to the daimyo’s gala with her.

Madara put the delicate package into his pouch and explored the market a little before dinner. It was a lively place with many goods, and he needed a few gifts to take back to his brother and cousin unless he wanted to be berated by his younger brother for being a horrible brother. Madara snorted at the image of his brother’s huffy face, his red cheeks and red watery eyes and a big pout. Izuna didn’t talk to him for a week until Madara made him a small wood gunbai replica.

He eyed many stands through the marketplace, contemplating potential gifts and goodies. Maybe a writing set, Hikaku liked to write stories. Maybe a small horse model, Izuna had a fascination with horseback riding, he mentioned many times that it was relaxing. There were so many options, he had to think very hard to bring the perfects gifts back home. He walked through the market, where he noticed a few stands selling food, making his stomach grumble. He could go for some yakitori before dinner, just a few.

He found a bench where he decided to eat in peace, enjoying his surroundings and the wonderful peace of the capital. As he helped himself to his second skewer of yakitori, he noticed fluffy white hair in the distance. When the person briefly turned around, he saw familiar pink glasses, he had seen them once before, months ago at court. This was Hashirama’s brother. He couldn’t forget those big pink lenses and golden frames.

Madara followed him, his curiosity peaked. Why was he at the capital? Was Hashirama in the capital too? Madara had many questions, and as he got closer, Hashirama’s brother started to walk faster, not run, but walking faster, and Madara sped up his walking as well until he caught him in the alley. Up close, he was even more beautiful. His pretty pale skin, looked like porcelain, his lips were pink, and he could see the tips of fangs.

“You’re Hashirama’s brother, aren’t you?” He smiled politely, “What is a-” And poof, the boy was gone, leaving Madara all alone in the alley, stunned and rather impressed. Hashirama never mentioned this brother in particular. He frowned, he could only hope to see the Senju again.

Tobirama kept an eye on Madara’s chakra when he arrived in the capital, he was aware that the other boy had family in the capital and that he probably didn’t know Tobirama was there as well. His studies also kept him busy, and Tobirama was dutifully reading and going to lectures. His father sent him to the capital to medical school. Despite Tobirama’s protests that he was needed back at the compound, Butsuma was determined in his logic that Tobirama should learn more. Tobirama finally agreed to it only when his father said he could be tutored by the best seals master currently in Fire, a mysterious yet skilled seals master from the Uzumaki clan. Today was his day off, and so he decided to explore the market. He needed some new ink and paper. His day went on without a hitch until he could sense it, Madara’s chakra following him.

He started to walk faster, as it was seen as very impolite to run in the city. He tried to confuse the other by making quick turns, but he was cornered by the Uchiha. The older boy asked him if he was Hashirama’s brother before smiling; it was unnerving. he was cornered, and the heir of his clan’s biggest enemy smiled down on him as he cornered Tobirama. The albino decided to test his newest invention - the hiraishin. He teleported himself to his bedroom in a matter of seconds.

He collapsed on the floor as he felt his heart beating fast like a drum. He was shaking, trying so soothe himself he started rubbing his arms, one slower than the other. His breaths were slow and deep. “Haaagh…” He pulled into himself, as his mind was plagued by that awful night, how the Uchiha smiled at him as he looked down at him before knocking the glasses off his face. He was so scared, he started to cry softly. ‘It’s ok, he was in his room, he was safe from the Uchiha, he was safe…he was safe…’