Work Text:
Buck is knee deep in mapping his data when it happens the first time. He’s sitting in the university’s single coffee shop and about one glitch away from throwing his entire computer. The near-decade-old laptop is already whirring at an alarming rate trying to run the program he’s working in and he, one semester from finishing his degree, can’t afford to replace it. This combination of frustration and impatience- for his computer to load, for the semester to finish, for finally doing what his parents always said he couldn’t- has left him flushed and twitchy. Allowing himself a moment’s break, he looks up from his screen and rubs at his eyes. The café is relatively quiet, caught in the time between the morning rush and the post-class bustle, but there are still groups of students scattered throughout. At one table, he can see members of the student government speaking tersely to one another. Occupying most of the floor space in front of his table seems to be at least half of the baseball team. To be fair, he is sitting near the area where drinks are set for pick up but also- why are they so loud? Why do they have to be right in front of him?
The university isn’t a particularly big one. A small, public campus of a much larger state university that doesn’t draw much attention. Perfect for Buck, who enrolled at age 20 with absolutely no idea what he wanted to be. Now, nearly four years later, he’s found something he loves, with enough flexibility to allow his scattered focus to thrive. Environmental science let him take classes in taxon identification, ecology, limnology, physics, chemistry, and even complete his Firefighter I certification, all while working toward a single, concrete degree. Yet somehow, the university also has a massive athletics program. Glaring at his computer screen again, Buck tries his best to ignore the near constant ruckus of over a dozen 20-somethings and very nearly succeeds. He’s just resolved to take a break from his mapping to work on a paper for another course when one of the- very rowdy, highly annoying- boys lands on him.
Buck wishes he’d had a more dignified response than the half-cough, half-squawk that comes from somewhere in his chest but instead he practically honks at the unexpected lapful of capital-D Dude. The guy is sitting, stunned, half-on Buck’s lap and staring with something near panic at a spot over Buck’s ear. Buck’s hands have fallen from his poor wheezing laptop to the booth seat on either side of him and he’s trying very hard not to be an asshole but like- how does this even happen? The guy seems to realize his predicament and finally makes eye contact and Buck must have really upset some kind of cosmic power because why must the Guy be hot? Buck was going to be completely happy being a little bit of a dick and pushing the guy off but nooooo; he gets stuck in wildly deep, honey brown eyes and freezes, like an idiot.
“Sorry! I- my friend-” The Guy has a twang, hidden somewhere under his panic, and there’s red crawling up his neck to the tips of his ears.
“It’s okay.”
“No! Seriously I like- I didn’t mean to.” The Guy is now wiggling a bit, seeming to be trying to get off of Buck within the confines of the space between table and booth. “Did I hurt you? Is your leg okay?”
“I’m fine just like- try not to make a habit of jumping strangers when they have an open coffee cup next to a computer.” Buck tries for a joking tone but the Guy tenses and glances nervously at his friends who are, somehow, both watching them and continuing to push at each other.
“Sorry.” He’s finally managed to remove himself from Buck’s lap and is now standing in the small space between tables. “I’m Eddie, I promise I don’t normally go falling on people I don’t know.” The hand extending towards him is big and tan, with a braided leather cord around the wrist. Buck only hesitates a second before reaching to shake it.
“Buck. It’s nice to meet you.”
**
Eddie had come to terms with the fact that his college experience was going to be non-traditional. That kind of thing comes with knocking up your girlfriend at 18, immediately joining the army, completing a tour, enlisting again, and then promptly getting shot. Now, he had sole custody of a 5 year old and a divorce under his belt, all before he’d even turned 25. He’d been fortunate that the community college he’d started taking courses at was also willing to let him walk-on to the baseball team. Eddie had been good in high school, had even managed to talk to a few scouts before a broken condom set his future on fire. Not that he’d trade Christopher for anything, but getting to play baseball again helped soothe something in him that he hadn’t realized had been aching. A year later, this small university had approached and offered him a spot on their roster if he wanted to transfer in. They had a daycare that had the means to watch Chris during practices and his professors had been more than happy to have Chris sit in on classes occasionally. His son was incredible, and curious, and had mostly settled in enough to happily draw through the lectures. The COVID red-shirt years meant that he wasn’t even the oldest on the team; several of the guys were already working on their Master’s to use up the rest of their eligibility.
Despite all of that, his first semester at this university had gone smoothly. He and Christopher had settled into their off-campus house easily the summer before and his teammates didn’t seem to mind having a kid in the bleachers at most of their practices. And sure the team was- rowdy, to say the least. They regularly threw keggers and seemed stunned that Eddie wasn’t all that interested in the hook-up offers that came his way. He knew they had a reputation around campus that wasn’t entirely unfounded but, generally, having a child wasn’t conducive to that kind of ‘live fast, die young’ lifestyle. He did make an effort to make it out with them at least twice a month, if only for the sake of team bonding. So when he receives an invite to some house party put on by the seniors of one of the frats, he only hesitates a minute before accepting. Chris is going to Tïa Pepa’s for the night anyway. He generally hates how old fraternity parties make him feel, how distant from the normal college life his teammates are leading, but given that the other ‘old’ men on the team are going, he should be okay.
He and one of the rookies, Ravi, have only just walked in the door when some of their drunken friends decide to try and shove forward. Eddie only has a split second to think ‘not again’ before he’s tripping over the arm of a couch and landing on some poor unsuspecting bystander. “I’m so sorry my friends are dumbasses and I-”, he stops trying to right himself and looks up at the owner of the lap he’s in. “Oh! What are the odds?” The laugh that escapes him is just shy of strangled and he can already feel the blood rushing into his face.
“One in a thousand maybe? Probably worse considering how many people there are on this campus.” The guy- Buck, his brain supplies a moment too late- is just as tall and blond and blue-eyed as Eddie remembers. Eddie isn’t a small man, sitting somewhere north of six foot and bulky with hard-earned muscle, but Buck is bigger, somehow. Both times Eddie has found himself in this lap, he’s been surprised that Buck doesn’t seem bothered by the weight of his landing, only that he was interrupted.
“I promise I’m not doing this on purpose. My team invited me out but they’re all already kinda wasted and- I’ll get out of your way.” His legs are still thrown over both the arm of the couch and Buck’s thighs, his ass on the cushion. Distantly, he can recognize that one of Buck’s hands is resting lightly on the small of his back, keeping him upright enough to not fall into the person behind him.
“Mhm sure. I bet you say that to all the guys.” Buck seems lighter than he had at the coffee shop, loose and a bit smug. Not drunk yet, but almost certainly headed that way. Eddie lets himself trace the planes of the other man’s face with his eyes for just a moment as his comment registers. He feels Buck’s other hand settle over his shin.
“Nah.” He says, finally. “You’re just special, I guess. Or maybe just extraordinarily unlucky.”
“I don’t know about you,” the other man leans in just a smidge, like he’s about to share a secret, “but I’m feeling pretty lucky right now.” Buck’s eyes are blue blue blue and the hand on Eddie’s back is starting to tangle in the hem of his henley, just brushing the skin at the dip of his spine. And maybe he’s just out of practice or maybe he’s got some kind of contact high going on but he finally realizes that oh. Oh! This guy is flirting with him.
It’s not that that is upsetting or anything. Eddie knows- well he’s been told that he’s a good looking guy. And he tends to get attention- from men, women, and others alike. But this feels different, somehow. Realer than those fleeting interactions tend to be. And Eddie almost never feels inclined to flirt back. Which might explain why the only thing he manages to get out is: “I have a kid!”
To Buck’s credit, he doesn’t flinch. He barely even reacts to the volume at which Eddie proclaimed his fatherhood beyond the lifting of a single eyebrow. They sit there, blinking at each other for one long moment before an honest-to-God smile spreads across Buck’s face. “I love kids! How old are they?”
Eddie isn’t quite sure what to do with that. Normally, the moment he brings up Chris is the moment he watches whatever interest was directed his way flee. But Buck seems completely content, maybe even excited, to just adjust the tone of the conversation like Eddie isn’t still sprawled over him. “He’s 5. His name is Christopher and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Buck shuffles him a bit (and it does absolutely nothing for Eddie that he can just move him like that) so that he’s settled more on the cushion, though his legs are still stretched across the other man’s lap. “Can I see a picture?”
Surprisingly, Eddie finds himself having fun. Buck is fun. He finds out that Buck is a 24 year old senior courtesy of 2 gap years (“you were a cowboy in Montana???” “only for a few months before I worked on a construction crew in Idaho.”), has an older sister he’s very close to despite limited contact, and knows an alarming amount of trivia (“did you know that there’s no such thing, phylogenetically, as fish? or lizards. or snakes.”). Buck has also been lazily trailing one of his hands up and down Eddie’s shin for the last hour as they chat. Eddie has never had anyone show such a genuine interest in his son, let alone in his 25-year-old-single-father self. It would be off-putting if Buck wasn’t so undeniably earnest in everything he does.
“So you said your team dragged you out?”
“Yeah, they try to make sure I leave the house on occasion. Say that I need to enjoy my youth while I’m still young.” Eddie can feel his brow scrunch a bit, “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it but like- how do you get someone without kids to understand why I can’t just leave Chris with a sitter every weekend? Even the guys on the team that have kids also have a partner to split the responsibilities with. And, generally, I don’t feel young.” The sigh that rattles through his chest is unexpectedly shaky. “Shannon and I didn’t work. It’s not that I want that back but it would be nice to just- to just have someone that- I don’t know.”
“Someone to have your back.” Buck’s voice is soft and his hand has stilled on Eddie’s knee.
“Yeah.” Eddie knows his tone is disproportionately fond given the situation. “Exactly.”
The party progresses until the air is thick with smoke and his teammates are nearing the point of obnoxiousness. It doesn’t take much longer before a couple of the guys are snagging Eddie’s arms and dragging him up, chanting something about pushing to a campus bar. Eddie barely has time to send a flustered look over his shoulder at Buck before he’s being corralled out the door. The last glance he gets at the other man is of mirth-filled blue eyes and a soft smile.
***
Eddie has been dming Buck. To what end, Buck isn’t sure. But two nights after the party he and his roommates hosted there was a follow request on his Instagram from a private account with the handle edmdiaz. After accepting and extending his own (accepted!) follow request, a dm had been waiting in his inbox within the day.
@edmdiaz: hey, sorry if this is weird but I think we kinda count as friends by this point
@buckbuckbuck: not weird! i’m surprised u even have an ig
@buckbuckbuck: also: 2 times in someone’s lap = friends seems like fair math
@edmdiaz: I only have this account because of baseball. Social media really isn’t my thing.
@buckbuckbuck: i could’ve guessed.
@buckbuckbuck: u really give off this like technophobe vibe
@buckbuckbuck: let me guess: u refuse to get a hildy bc u think she’s gonna take over the world.
@edmdiaz: ….
@edmdiaz: She is!
The typing bubble bounces a few more times before another message comes through.
@edmdiaz: Would you want to come to our game tomorrow? We could get dinner after. I have Chris but as long as you don’t mind going somewhere kid-friendly…
Buck freezes. He had thought that maybe, maybe, the cute single dad had been receptive to his clumsy, tipsy flirting the other night. But then Eddie had visibly startled and changed the subject and, hey, Buck 1.0 may have been the consummate frat boy but he could still take a hint. But now. Now, Eddie was asking him to dinner with his son. Which seemed somewhere in the space between ‘first time hanging out with a guy you’ve met twice’ and ‘first date’ territory. But Eddie is stupidly attractive and Buck is weak so he doesn’t hesitate as long as he should before typing out his reply.
@buckbuckbuck: oh i’m so in! just tell me when and where
–
The game is exactly how Buck remembers every baseball game from his youth. Several hours of short bursts of activity followed by very long stretches of nearly nothing. It’s not that he doesn’t like the sport; he can appreciate the skill it takes to play and he can definitely appreciate what those pants do for Eddie’s ass, but he can’t say that the game holds his attention very well. As such, he had brought a book on beavers- they’re nature’s engineers!- to help fill some of the time that Eddie wasn’t on the field.
Nine innings pass as Buck alternates between watching, reading, and peering around the stands to see if he can spot Eddie’s tía or Christopher. Once, he sees Eddie look up at the stands, eyes searching before landing on Buck. He lets himself flash a small smile and a half-wave and tells himself that the red spreading up Eddie’s cheeks is from exertion, nothing else. After the game has ended- with the home team squeaking out a 1-run win- Buck collects his things and heads toward the entrance to the park. He has no idea how long it will take for Eddie to see to his postgame duties so he allows himself to settle on one of the benches, enjoying the cooling air of a California evening. Some time later, once Buck has reimmersed himself in his book, the sound of multiple voices clamoring catches his attention. He looks up and sees a group headed down the sidewalk toward him; near the edge of the herd, he sees a young boy ambling along with crutches with an older woman. Just in front of them, Eddie. He’s changed into jeans and a soft-looking heather gray t-shirt and is walking backwards, gesticulating wildly while Chris giggles.
Buck closes his book and moves to put it back in his bag. He’s just begun to straighten up when he hears the scuff of a sneaker and then a muffled “oh shit.” Somehow, he knows exactly what’s happened, even before the weight hits his thighs.
“Hey Eddie!” His hand has wound its way around Eddie’s back to steady him, “Funny seeing you here.”
“I swear I’m not doing this on purpose.” That delightful red flush has raced down Eddie’s throat, disappearing into the collar of his shirt. Buck can’t help but notice that there’s still a lingering scent of grass and sweat under what he assumes is the smell of Eddie’s soap; regardless, the combined effect makes him want to bury his entire face into the other man’s neck and huff it straight from the source.
“Even if you were, I’m not sure I’d mind.” The words are out before he can stop them. It’s not that he doesn’t want to flirt with Eddie, it’s that he’s not sure how welcome his advances would be. Even here, on a relatively progressive campus, Buck had a hard time getting some of his fraternity brothers to accept him dating men. He can only imagine what kind of shit Eddie would get within the athletics program.
He tenses and starts to drop his hand before he sees Eddie duck his head a bit and grin. “You’re a charmer, aren’t you?” The brunet stands and reaches a hand out to pull Buck to his feet. “This is my tía, Pepa,” he gestures to the older woman standing nearby with an indulgent expression, “and this,” he plops both hands on the kid’s shoulders, “is Christopher, my son.”
The boy is adorable. His curls are a riot of sandy brown and his eyes are wide behind bright red glasses. There’s a tension in his brow that Buck can see mimicked on Eddie’s face; it takes him a second to place it but he realizes that they’re nervous. Like they’re worried that Buck won’t like them; that, somehow, he’ll be the one to get weirded out or overwhelmed by their little family.
“Hey Christopher! I’m Buck, like the deer.” Buck crouches in front of the kid, knowing that his height can be half of the intimidation factor. He sticks his hand out and doesn’t let himself breathe until Chris is reaching back.
“That’s a funny way to introduce yourself.” Christopher’s grip is light but some of the caution has left his expression. His face gets serious in the way only children’s can. “Did you know that birds are related to dinosaurs? My teacher told us that today and showed us a picture of a turkey.”
“That’s so cool! Do you have a favorite dinosaur? Mine is Archaeopteryx.” Buck feels like he’s found stable ground; if there’s anything in this world that he’s good at, it’s talking dinosaurs. If he had looked up from where Chris was- very enthusiastically- discussing triceratops, he would have noticed the soft look Eddie had leveled at him.
****
By mid-April, the semester is reaching a fever pitch. The space between midterms and finals is full of projects, graduation preparation, baseball, and social events. As such, making any kind of plans with his new friend typically involved several cancellations and perusal of an intensive color-coded calendar.
Buck was presenting his capstone poster at a conference on campus that evening. Originally, Eddie had been set to go watch Buck present while Chris got some Tía time in, but a sudden stomach bug had thrown a wrench in those plans.
@edmdiaz: is your science thing kid-friendly? Tía is sick so Chris is stuck with me
@buckbuckbuck: it’ll work! The building isn’t the most accessible though
@buckbuckbuck: i can meet u guys by the main doors to show u where the elevator is
@buckbuckbuck: it IS the most janky elevator known to man but
@edmdiaz: can’t wait! See you in a couple hours
@buckbuckbuck: 🤠🤠🤠
@buckbuckbuck: can’t wait to see my favorite diaz🫶🏻
@buckbuckbuck: (christopher)
@edmdiaz: got time for dinner after?
@buckbuckbuck: for you guys? Always
True to his word, Buck was waiting for them at the main entrance to the sleek, modern science building. He was dressed sharply; slacks slung to his legs and a light blue button-up lit up his already (blueblueblue) eyes as he crouched to high-five Christopher. “You made it! I can’t wait for you guys to see my poster. I spent literally FOREVER just trying to get it formatted correctly and no one really pays attention to the undergraduate posters at these things so it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to.” Eddie couldn’t help but notice the undertone of nerves threading through Buck’s voice as he rambled. “You would think that in such a fancy new building they would have better ADA compliance but nooooo. The elevator is tucked all the way back here; the bright side is there is almost never a line to use it because it’s so well hidden.”
“Buck-”
“Plus! There’s no ramp outside which is completely ridiculous. Like why does it even count for accessibility if the ramp is on some weird side entrance that’s always locked!”
“Buck-”
“Chris, man, I don’t know how you do it.”
“Complaining doesn’t normally work so I just get through it.” Christopher’s voice is characteristically chipper but his nonchalance still breaks Eddie’s heart just a little bit. His little shoulders shrug a bit before he continues ambling along.
Buck seems just as struck by Christopher’s words as Eddie had been, coming to a complete stop in the hallway. “He’s an incredible kid, Eddie. You’ve done good.”
“Nah, that’s all Shannon.” He bumps his shoulder into Buck’s and moves to follow Chris, “How do you know so much about ADA compliance anyway?”
“I fell down a Wikipedia rabbit hole last night after I told you about the elevator. It got me wondering if this building was compliant or not.” Buck has started moving again, sticking close to Eddie’s shoulder and bumping off of him every few steps. “Turns out that compliance can be kind of a sham if the building is just checking things off the list instead of considering if it’s practical for people with the disabilities that they’re supposed to accommodate! How dumb is that?”
“Very.” Another few strides, another couple bumps, and they’re nearing the elevator. “Hey, Buck.” He turns and makes sure he has Buck’s attention, that he can meet his eyes. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For caring enough to look.”
—
They’re back at Eddie’s house later that evening, Christopher long since put to bed after demanding that Buck be the one to read him his bedtime story. The living area is dark except for the light of a lamp and the television, set to some network procedural neither of them are really watching. Eddie has stepped out to the kitchen to retrieve them both another beer and Buck is- well, he isn’t quite sure what he’s doing. There are pictures on the mantle of a younger Eddie and a woman that must be Shannon in wedding attire, her bump barely noticeable through the white gown. An array of photos showing Chris growing- and growing and growing- from a tiny, scrunched-faced baby to the little boy he met take up most of the space. Then, to the side, one photo of Eddie by himself, clearly in military dress with a stern, detached expression. He looks so unlike the Eddie that Buck has grown to know that it’s hard to reconcile the two; the idea that Eddie, his Eddie, who laughs and blushes and stutters when Buck points it out, is also a veteran and a divorceé at the age of 24. Buck stares at the portrait for longer than he should, only looking away when he hears Eddie’s light tread returning.
Eddie stops and places both bottles on the low coffee table in front of the couch before puttering over to close the curtains on one of the windows. He turns and makes to walk back to the couch and Buck can feel what’s about to happen before the sequence even begins. He watches in slow motion as Eddie’s foot catches on the edge of the rug and he goes flailing toward the coffee table; it’s barely even a reach for Buck to reach out and redirect him to the, much softer, landing place of the couch and, by association, his lap. Eddie takes a moment, mouth opening and closing and seemingly dazed, before finally speaking. “I think this one is on you.”
“I wasn’t going to let you crash through the coffee table,” Buck runs a hand over Eddie’s waist to rearrange him. “Plus, Chris is asleep and your squawking would have absolutely woken him up.”
“Hey-”
“Example A of the aforementioned squawking.”
“Dude!” Eddie’s eyebrows are adorably pinched and his cheeks are a flaming pink and Buck is a weak, weak man.
“Wowww, calling me dude when you’re the one in my lap for the,” Buck squints at the ceiling and pretends to count for a moment, “fourth time. Low blow there, bro.”
Eddie, miraculously, flushes an even more brilliant color and ducks his head a bit. “Shut up, it’s not been on like- I’m not doing it on purpose.”
And- okay, here’s the thing. Buck knows that this cannot possibly be on purpose. He’s been there for all the instances and knows just how out of Eddie’s control they’ve been. But he’s also well aware that Eddie hasn’t exactly jumped up when it’s happened either. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe having Eddie, normally so straight-laced and in control, loose and happy and red-cheeked in his lap, was enough.
*****
“Wait. What are you even studying?” The words burst out of Buck a hair too loud in the semi-quiet coffee shop. He and Eddie are back at the scene of the crime (the original incident) to, allegedly, study. They’re set up next to each other in the cramped booth half of a table, laptops out, pressed together shoulder to knee. To be fair, they had both worked quietly for nearly an hour before they’d gotten distracted, knocking shoulders and laughing as they chatted. If Buck found himself staring at the leather cord around Eddie’s wrist, or the curve of his rosy cheek, well- Eddie never needed to know.
“I’m working on an Associate’s in Fire Science. The fire academy always appreciates the coursework and, with my military background, I have my choice of cities once I graduate.” He pauses for a breath. “Honestly, I’m not sure where I’ll go. Chris loves California and Pepa is out here but my parents have wanted me to move home with him for years now.”
“What do you want?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you mentioned what Christopher might want, and what your parents want for you, but not what you want.” Eddie’s face freezes over and Buck’s heart stumbles. He did it again; he overstepped and was too much- too Buck- and now he’s watching, live, as he loses Eddie. So, he backpedals. “I’m- I’m so sorry, Eddie. That was- I had no right- You don’t have to answer!”
“Buck-”
“No! Seriously, I had no right to pry and like, I have no real, concrete plans for anything ever so it’s so hypocritical of me to act like you should have it all worked out.”
“Buck, stop.” Oh. This is it, he ruined the best friendship he’s had- maybe ever- and Eddie is about to- “No one has ever asked me what I want I wanted before. You didn’t overstep, I’m just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” Eddie grins, but it’s wry, tinted a little bitterly. “I’m almost 25, I’ve been to war, I have a fucking amazing kid, and I have not the foggiest idea what wanting even looks like, let alone what I, personally, would want.”
“You know, it’s not a bad thing to not know what’s next. That’s how I lived for my gap years. I’d stop somewhere on a whim and stay long enough to save enough money to move on. I never knew what I was doing the next day, let alone the next month. And I know it’s- it’s different for you, because of Chris but-” Buck takes a breath and decides to be brave, reaching out to lace his fingers with Eddie’s and pulling the tangle into his lap. “You’re allowed to not know, and you’re allowed to want things for yourself.”
Eddie just stares at their fingers, stacked together in alternating bands of tan and a truly embarrassing white, before asking: “Can we go back to my house? I think I’m done studying for the day.”
—
They’re sitting on the couch, or sprawling, really. Buck has his back against one armrest, Eddie against the other, legs tangled in the middle while they watch one of the movies on Eddie’s list for Buck. The list lives in his notes app and is titled simply “For Buck”. It grows whenever Eddie makes a reference that flies over Buck’s head and thus has hit nearly 30 titles in a handful of weeks. They’re both half paying attention to what’s on the screen; Eddie is still visibly in his head, and Buck is caught up in trying to parse through the expressions flickering across Eddie’s face as he thinks. “Hey, Buck?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing after graduation?”
“Okay, I promise this was my plan before- I’m not like copying you or anything. But I was actually planning on going through the LAFD academy.”
“Wait-” Eddie jolts upright, arms pushing on the cushion as he tries to sit up. “Like- actually? Like you want to be a firefighter? What about your research?”
“I mainly went to school to appease my parents, or like- I don’t know. I wanted them to be proud of me, I think. And don't get me wrong! I love environmental science and I think I’d enjoy doing fire ecology. Eventually. But like- I just want to help people in a more immediate way while I can.” He hunches in on himself just a little bit. “I took a couple fire science classes my first year and just fell in love with it. I have my Firefighter I cert and I’m finishing up my EMT training but I’m still going to apply to the academy to- I don’t know, help my chances? I guess.”
“That’s amazing, Buck.” Eddie scrambles up to his knees and reaches like he’s going to hug him but his knee catches on the edge of a cushion and he goes sprawling. His head lands in the vicinity of Buck’s clavicle and he’s laughing and the moment is bubbling, sparkling, bright. The kind of moment where Buck can feel it crystalize in his brain, right alongside memories of Maddie baking him a birthday cake and seeing the ocean for the first time. It strikes him with a sense of true, gut-deep happiness that an honest-to-god giggle bursts from his mouth before he can stop it.
“You really think so?” His chin is tilted at what must be a ridiculous angle to look Eddie in the eye.
“I really do.” Eddie’s grin is only inches from Buck’s and suddenly all he can think of doing is capturing it, feeling that bright smile against his mouth. “Plus!” Eddie pushes himself off to the side, wedging his body between Buck and the back of the couch, “You just made picking a city that much easier.”
“You’d want to stay in L.A.?”
“I want to go through the academy with you, Buck. What if we could work together? I think we’d be really good partners.” With a slight wiggle, Eddie settles himself deeper into the gap, seemingly with no intention of moving, and throws an arm over Buck’s waist.
“Yeah.” Buck lets his head drop back onto the arm of the couch, “I think so too.”
***** +1
The weeks slide by in a blur until, suddenly, graduation is looming in front of them. Christopher had his ceremony for finishing kindergarten the week before and now was giggling on the grass a few yards away. Eddie is in full cap and gown while Buck has his slung over his shoulder; the Bachelor’s ceremony had been earlier in the day so he got to hang out with Pepa and Chris for Eddie’s. “You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” Eddie fiddles with the cap in his hands before trying to place it on his head. The mortarboard tips haphazardly to one side and he lets out a frustrated sigh as he tries to right it. “I feel like a clown in this. I can’t believe I let you convince me to walk.”
“Here- let me.” Buck reaches out to fix the cap, “And I didn’t convince you. I just reminded you that Pepa and Abuela and your parents would all be very upset if you graduated without saying anything and you spiraled so badly about throwing a party that you convinced yourself to walk because- and I quote-”
“Must you quote?”
“‘If you’re throwing a party and they’re coming all this way you might as well get the experience’.” Buck finally gets the cap to sit nicely and lingers in Eddie’s space for a moment longer. “You look very handsome, not clown-like at all.”
The only response he gets is a glare, but the pink cresting Eddie’s ears takes any of the sting out.
–
Hours later, after he got to yell and cheer embarrassingly loud with Christopher as Eddie crossed the stage, Buck is sitting in a patio chair at Pepa’s house, watching as Eddie mingles with his family. Sophia and Adriana launch themselves at their brother and the resulting giggles make him miss Maddie with a sudden, vicious sting. He’d sent her another postcard the week before, letting her know that he would graduate and was planning on entering the fire academy. He’d talked a lot about Eddie and Christopher, about the way he finally felt like he was putting down roots. He and Eddie weren’t- anything. Yet. But sometimes Eddie would look at him and Buck would think maybe, someday. So he told Maddie and hoped that (maybe, someday) he’d get to introduce her to the Diazes.
“I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met.” The voice comes from just behind him, determined but not entirely unfriendly. Buck turns and finds himself confronted with the faces from Eddie’s mantle, older but still recognizable.
“Mr. and Mrs. Diaz! I’ve heard so much about you!” They’re seated in two folding chairs to his left so he doesn’t bother standing before sticking his hand out. “I’m Buck, Eddie’s friend.”
“Oh! Buck!” Helena doesn’t seem thrilled at his presence but that’s fine, Buck’s own mother never seemed thrilled with him either. He can handle this relative stranger not liking him. He can. “Eddie never talks about any friends. You know how he is, baseball and Christopher.” She laughs a little stiltedly. “I’m hoping his communication gets better once they’re back in Texas.”
“Oh. He doesn’t-”
“Mom! Dad! I see you’ve met our Buck.” Eddie’s voice is overloud, tense, and all the warning Buck gets before all 6 feet of tanned baseball player is once again in his lap. His arms wrap around Eddie’s waist on reflex before he realizes- they don’t do this. Not on purpose, at least. But Eddie had marched over and plopped himself in Buck’s lap, arm slung around his neck, with no hesitation. “He and I are gonna try and get through the fire academy out here together, aren’t we?”
Buck is momentarily stunned by the feeling of Eddie’s fingers toying with the short hairs at his nape, by the situation at large, really, but he manages to stammer out a broken, “Yep! We are- that’s the goal.”
“Oh that’s- nice.” Helena says, eyes darting to Ramón, smile a bit tight. “Eddie, have you given any more thought to the stations in Texas?”
“Not really. Christopher loves it out here, I love it out here, plus I’ve already spoken with a couple houses that would take both Buck and I. Assuming we do well in the academy.”
“Are you sure? I mean, Chris spent-”
“Mamá, basta!” Eddie cuts her off quickly but his fingers never stop their gentle movement along Buck’s neck. “I’m sure. Chris and I are happy out here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Adri and Soph want to meet Buck.” He stands and reaches a hand out to pull Buck to his feet.
Buck allows himself to be pulled along without much thought, still stunned by this new, tactile version of Eddie. It takes him longer than he would like to admit to realize that they aren’t headed to Eddie’s sisters- they’re turning the corner of Pepa’s house to a secluded corner of her yard. It takes him a few moments longer to realize Eddie is talking to him.
“What’s wrong?”
“I- nothing’s wrong. I just-” Buck sighs and leans back against the siding of the house. “You sat on my lap.”
“Yeah? We’ve done that before.” Eddie steps into the space in front of him, hand reaching to grasp his shoulder. His head ducks and tilts until Buck meets his eye. “Buck, I’m sorry. Did I overstep? Do you not want-”
“No, but-” His head drops back and thunks against the wall behind him. And that’s the thing isn’t it? Buck is intelligent, he got a degree and graduated near the top of his class. Without fail, he earned one of the highest GPAs in his fraternity every semester. Point being, he has a good and functioning brain. Which makes it all the more embarrassing that he missed this, right in front of his face. “Eddie, are we dating?”
“Do you want us to be dating?” The hand drops from his shoulder. Eddie’s voice is nervous, a bit reedy, and an absolutely delightful flush is running down his throat.
“Yeah.” Buck nods and reaches out, tangling his fingers with the hand Eddie had just dropped. “I think I’ve wanted that for a while but I guess- I assumed you weren’t ready. Which. That’s fine, if you-”
“I’m ready.” Deep brown eyes stare at him, sparkling, “Buck, I’m not- it’s not like I’m a touchy-feely person but- I don’t know. With you, it feels right.” Eddie’s fingers tighten around his, tugging him in a step. “I don’t know about anything else but I know I want this. With you. The rest we can figure out. Together.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
The grin spreading over Eddie’s face is slow, and molasses sweet, and this time Buck doesn’t have to stop himself from tasting it.