Chapter Text
Eighty two days. That is how long you and Kim have officially been partners now.
ESPRIT DE CORPS – Partners in anti-crime, that is. Any other kind of partnership still remains out of reach for you.
HALF-LIGHT – How would you even know if it is or isn’t out of reach? You keep standing still, arms parallel to your body, hands sweating and fingers cowardly hidden in the pockets of your flare-cut trousers. You are scared to look, scared to touch, scared to feel. For all you know, Kim’s love could be hovering right in front of you, waiting for you to claim it, but with your limbs frozen and incapable of movement, how can you expect to catch it? It won’t just climb into your body and colonise it by itself.
YOU – Should you make a move, then? Is that the idea?
SAVOIR FAIRE – That is always the idea, baby.
DRAMA – If you weren’t sure about your crush on Kim before, now there is no doubt left. You have spent the past twelve weeks yearning, pining, fantasising, sighing and swooning, like a maiden from a fairytale who keeps looking out of the window of her tower to catch a sight of her beloved sir knight.
ESPRIT DE CORPS – You have also spent the past two months solving crimes. Just so it’s clear you are still capable of doing things other than considering romance.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY – You considered his ass, too.
SUGGESTION - Either way, considering won’t get you anywhere. If you want him, you need to show him. A handsome guy like him could have anybody and if you stall for too long, someone else might beat you to it. The remains of your poor, stitched-up heart would break again and not even the most skilled surgeon could put them back together.
YOU – But what if he says no?
LOGIC – You have to make sure that he doesn’t. You still have a lot of unread literature scattered around your flat, maybe one of these books contains some brilliant love advice?
SUGGESTION – I would just like to remind you that the last time you tried to impress Kim with your book smarts, you fucked up magnificently. You should take a different approach.
YOU – Such as?
EMPATHY – Isn’t your station full of people with healthy, working marriages – or at least long-term relationships? They would know how to go about this.
RHETORIC – Commune with your elders, the ones whose brains are bursting with years of memories and who remember what it feels like to share tender feelings with another person. Learn their ways, make them share all their best tricks with you.
Become the most dateable man in all of Jamrock.
*
YOU – “So, are you guys married?”
MACK TORSON – “What, like, together?” He points at Chester McLaine and bursts into laughter. “That’s disgusting, man. And not even legal.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] – Cop culture is not exactly favourable to homo-sexuals, unfortunately.
ENDURANCE [Medium: Success] – Or maybe he’s not disgusted because of the homo part, but simply because it is *Chester* you are talking about. Insulting one’s bröther or yelling at him when he accidentally touches you are some of the most common ways of showing affection between hetero-sexual men who are secure in their masculinity.
CHESTER MCLAINE – “Did you forget how marriage works? You can’t make kids with two sausages, Mullen.”
INLAND EMPIRE – Something about the implication that a relationship is incomplete without children is making it difficult for you to breathe. Your fists clench involuntarily
VOLITION [Legendary: Success] – Don’t think about this deeper. Just don’t. You can’t afford to murder your coworker.
YOU – “I could do anything with my sausage. You’d be surprised,” you snap at Chester and then hurry to explain yourself before he gets the wrong idea again. “Obviously I wasn’t asking if you’re married to each other, you idiots. Do you have wives?”
CHESTER MCLAINE – “No thanks. I enjoy my freedom, this way I can go get a beer with friends whenever the mood strikes and nobody screams at me if I return home late.”
MACK TORSON – “You’ll get used to the screaming, it’s not so bad, especially if you get to fuck afterwards.”
DRAMA [Easy: Success] – He speaks from personal experience, sire.
YOU – “Your wife screams at you? Why?”
MACK TORSON – “Fuck if I know, I think it’s just a hobby of hers.”
YOU – “Does she even like you? Do you even like *her*?”
MACK TORSON – “What?”
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] – He seems genuinely taken aback by your question, as if liking your spouse was never a requirement.
CHESTER MCLAINE – “Why are you even asking about all of this shit, Mullen?”
RHETORIC – Yeah, why are you? You don’t want to take advice from Torson, his marriage apparently sucks and he’s not even a feminist.
ENDURANCE – Why would he be one? All women do is fuck men over, divorce them and move to Mirova.
RHETORIC – *All* women move to Mirova? The birth rates there must be skyrocketing.
YOU – “Never mind. I think I’m done with this conversation. Get your wife a flower, Mack, they smell nice and don’t wilt as quickly as your dick.”
With that, you leave the dumbfounded duo behind you and choose to seek counsel elsewhere.
*
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – These days, when the two of you pass each other, you tend to exchange a polite nod and the occasional newly acquired fun fact. Your relationship certainly improved after the Big Trivia Duel of ’51. You have never talked about what transpired on that day, but you do feel more at ease around Trant now and you believe it is the same for him.
He raises his steaming coffee mug closer to his face, smells the beverage and contentedly nods to himself.
YOU – Not wanting to feel left out, you lean over and sniff his mug as well. If he finds it an odd thing to do, he doesn’t mention it.
EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] – Trant is amused by your behaviour. You are like a big bug to him that he would like to study under a microscope.
PERCEPTION (Smell) [Formidable: Success] – As a coffee expert, you easily recognise the smell emanating from his mug. Trant is drinking his favourite Semenese blend – black, strong and bitter.
SUGGESTION [Challenging: Failure] – How could we casually start this conversation? Hm…
YOU – “You got divorced, right? Was it bad?”
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – He chuckles. You surprised him, but just barely, because being surprised by you is as unsurprising as it gets. “Pleasant divorces are quite the rarity, I would say, but mine was probably more peaceful than most. The leading causes for divorce in Revachol are infidelity and financial challenges, neither of which was thankfully my case. I’d say we were… too much for each other, both for different reasons. We were incompatible and made each other unhappy and even Mikael could see it.”
VOLITION [Legendary: Failure] – Too much? Special Consultant Backpedal is *too much* for someone? How could anyone live with you, then?
ESPRIT DE CORPS – He might seem normal compared to you, but otherwise? He takes his kid on long walks around the ugliest neighbourhoods in Martinaise and one time he started laughing in the middle of a murder scene because he remembered a nerdy joke about frogs.
YOU – “Okay, but… you were happy together at first, right? Before things went to shit.”
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – “That is how it usually goes, yes.”
YOU – “So how did you… take the first step?”
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – Trant breaks into a wide smile.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] – He reads you like a book. A book that has “I WANT TO DATE KIM BUT I FORGOT HOW DATING WORKS” printed on its spine in big, golden letters.
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – He points at your T-shirt which proudly carries the statement The patriarchy kills my vibe. “A feminist like you surely knows that it isn’t always the man who makes the first move. It was actually my ex-wife who asked me out.”
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – This is a purely objective statement, I don’t mean it in a f****t way – Trant is hot. He doesn’t need any special seduction tricks, he can afford to just stand around looking pretty until someone decides to call dibs on him.
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – “She invited me to an art gallery and that was how it all started. I remember it like it was yesterday, Juna Böckler's installations truly spoke to me, especially the mountains made of recycled glass. We take so much from nature but what do we give back, hm? Even our best attempts at sustainability cannot erase the damage we have done to the world around us, although that of course doesn’t mean that we shouldn't always be striving to do better.”
YOU – “So if I, let’s say, wanted to let someone know that I’m interested,” you waggle your eyebrows suggestively to make it clear what kind of interest you are talking about, “you think taking them to an art gallery could work?”
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – “That depends if the object of your affections is interested in such things. Love is not the kind of science where you could apply one rule to every case.”
SAVOIR FAIRE – Actually what are we expecting to learn from this guy? He lucked out once with his wife who dragged him to a gallery by his tie and then decided to keep him. At least for some time. Then he’s fucked it up somehow and now he’s single.
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – “If you don’t know it yet, try to figure out what this… person you are interested in likes to do. You can find a museum dedicated to just about any hobby. Or you can just take them out for a nice walk and dinner. Theatre, cinema or musical events are other time-tested options.”
INTERFACING [Easy: Success] – Kim likes motor carriages and all sorts of machinery. Perhaps you could take him to a technical museum?
INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Failure] – Where would you even find one?
SAVOIR FAIRE – Aren’t these places quite expensive? Are you sure you can afford it?
VOLITION – Wouldn’t you stick out like a sore thumb among all those smart rich car people?
INLAND EMPIRE – She was fond of museums. Maybe you could still get her back…
YOU – “No, I don’t want her back! I’m so over this shit.”
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – “Are you alright, Harry?”
YOU – “I’m all left, actually. Anyway, thanks for the chat, I’ll add it to my brain database.”
TRANT HEIDELSTAM – “My pleasure.” He nods at you, glances down at his coffee which has already gone cold and suppresses a sigh.
*
YOU – “Judit? How did you and your husband get together?”
JUDIT MINOT – Judit is currently on her, as she calls it, non-smoke break. When she needs a moment away from her work, she likes to decompress by sitting on the bench in front of the station, watching the sun shine and the clouds travel across the sky. At least for a few minutes, it helps her forget how violent her job can be and how dumb some of her colleagues are.
EMPATHY – And here you are, disrupting her peace. Shame on you.
JUDIT MINOT – As you sit on the other side of the bench, she blinks and scratches the back of her neck. “Oh, hi, Harry. Why do you ask?”
YOU – “I just want to know how these things work. How am I supposed to get back in the game, if I don’t remember shit about wooing a woman?”
DRAMA – Why did you say that? Kim is not a woman.
RHETORIC [Medium: Failure] – It was automatic, just flew out of your mouth without stopping to consult with the brain first. Wooing a man sounds sort of wrong, doesn’t it?
EMPATHY – It sounds very right to me, actually.
HALF LIGHT – Judit doesn’t need to know everything. Let her think you are straight as a line of coke.
JUDIT MINOT – “We met through our mutual friends, first time I saw him was in this small club in Jamrock. He was tall, handsome and had this charming, slightly crooked smile. Several months later, he took me back to the same club for our first date. A year after that, we returned for our anniversary and he proposed to me.”
YOU – “In a club? Is that romantic?”
JUDIT MINOT – She shrugs. “He is a creature of habit and I am a sentimental woman. It worked.”
INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Success] – At first.
YOU – “And now?”
JUDIT MINOT – “Now, the club doesn’t exist anymore. The owners were going to renovate it, but they probably changed their minds after a while. I don’t know. If you visit the building now, it is empty and ugly and there is still a sign on the door that says UNDER RECONSTRUCTION.”
YOU – “Maybe they’ll fix it some day? Or build something new there instead, something beautiful.”
JUDIT MINOT – “I don’t think so. Some things… just stay under reconstruction, forever, until they turn to dust.” She takes bread crumbs out of her pocket, throws them towards a nearby flock of pigeons and gives you a small, tired smile.
*
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “Hey, shitkid. Can I have a word?”
YOU – “I don’t think you can, words belong to everyone.”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “Stop trying to be funny and get over here, I don’t want everyone and their mother to hear us.”
YOU – You shuffle closer to his desk, still holding a ledger in one hand and pen in the other to make it clear that he disrupted you from doing important police work. “I’m here.”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “Apparently you’ve been bothering everyone about their private lives, like a fucking creep. Care to explain?”
REACTION SPEED [Formidable: Failure] – Um. Well. Shit.
SUGGESTION – You can’t tell him you are looking for inspiration on making Kim fall in love with you. God knows how he would react.
DRAMA [Legendary: Success] – Got it. Let’s throw in a pinch of the truth, add 200g of grated bullshit, a teaspoon of lemon juice and two cubes of sugar. Mix it and serve in your fanciest bowl.
YOU – “I just want to remember what love feels like.”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “What?”
YOU – “I mean, I remember some of it. The pain. The smell of apricots. The fucking lies, promises of coming back to you forever and then flying off and leaving the house burning behind her. And you are burning with it, your lungs are consumed by the same flame that used to gently warm your hands in wintertime and you want to scream at her, ask her to stay and to fuck off at the same time, but your words are smoke and she is smoke and as soon as the wind starts to blow, it all vanishes and nothing matters anymore.”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – He exhales deeply and takes a moment to process your word-borscht. “And what exactly does that have to do with you asking about people’s marriages?”
YOU – “How am I supposed to find love again if I don’t understand it?”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – He sighs again. Does this guy do anything besides sighing, smoking and complaining? “Is there anyone specific you want to find love with? Because if yes, for the love of god just make sure they’re not married before you start flirting with them. I’m not getting you out of another fistfight with a pissed off husband.”
RHETORIC [Challenging: Success] – Wait… Did he say *them*?
YOU – “You said flirting with them. Instead of flirting with her.”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “Yes…?” You watch the realisation dawn on his face before he rolls his eyes and smirks at you. “What, you thought I didn’t know that you are, as you once elegantly put it, into tits and balls? Of course I do.”
EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] – We were best friends, after all, he doesn’t add. He is amused by your confusion, but underneath it all, there remains a little shred of sadness caused by you forgetting your entire friendship.
INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] – It’s not all gone. It is an old building that survived a bomb attack with a holey roof and broken windows, but it still stands.
YOU – “Why didn’t you tell me before?! I spent so much time figuring out my sexuality and you could have just told me!”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “You didn’t ask.”
YOU – You resist the urge to throw something at him and you settle for flipping him off. He returns the gesture.
ENDURANCE – See? The brötherbund is real, buddy.
RHETORIC [Challenging: Success] – Wait, let’s rewind a little. Jean asked you to make sure you don’t flirt with anyone who is already taken…
LOGIC [Medium: Success] – Oh god. Oh shit. What if Kim already has someone? What if he has been seeing someone the whole time you’ve known him? What if you are too late?
YOU – The hair on your neck rises like a battalion of tiny and terrified soldiers. “Jean.”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – “Yes, that is my name.”
YOU – “How do I find out if someone is single or not?”
JEAN VICQUEMARE – He gives you a blank look. “You ask them? Shit, don’t tell me you need my advice on how to can-open people.”
AUTHORITY [Challenging: Success] – He is right. What the fuck are you doing here, bothering him with this shit? You know how to deal with people. You always get the information you need.
HALF LIGHT – But… what if you won’t like what you find?
SAVOIR FAIRE – You will.
PAIN THRESHOLD – You might not.
VOLITION [Formidable: Success] – Either way, you will manage. You can do this, Harry! We are all rooting for you.